Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 1: All Right, so everybody knows that we live in Nashville
Speaker 1: and the tragic events that took place at the Covenant
Speaker 1: Christians School just last week, and we obviously want to
Speaker 1: address as it not only hits close to home, but
Speaker 1: we were all mothers and we our hearts and our
Speaker 1: prayers and our thoughts go out to all the families affected.
Speaker 1: And it's just it's an absolute tragedy. And I just
Speaker 1: again I said this the other day, but I I
Speaker 1: just it's so unfair that any child and Kat we
Speaker 1: were kind of talking about this, like your kids are
Speaker 1: actually accustomed to this. They're like, oh yeah, desensitized, desensitized.
Speaker 1: It's so sad. It's like, no kids should fear going
Speaker 1: to school, and we shouldn't have to fear like saying,
Speaker 1: you know, pick not picking them up, and like even
Speaker 1: when I said the boye of the kids today dropping
Speaker 1: them off, I'm like, and I know, KB, You're like,
Speaker 1: you didn't bring your kids to school for a few Yeah,
Speaker 1: still not going to school. Yeah, I'll just cry. It's hard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And it's just not fair. I also have the luxury
Speaker 1: of keeping them home, which I know not a lot
Speaker 1: of people do so, and I don't want to live
Speaker 1: out of fear, but I also am just trying to
Speaker 1: like navigate big feelings. On a side note, big hormones
Speaker 1: because it makes me really anxious, but keeping them home
Speaker 1: it just feels like what I need to do right now.
Speaker 1: So that's what we're doing. Having the talk with Love
Speaker 1: who's seven, I want to, like, I want her to
Speaker 1: hear a version of it from me and not from
Speaker 1: peers or friends or whatever. I know she's overhearing things
Speaker 1: and she has this unique way of trying to figure
Speaker 1: things out for herself, and she doesn't have the brain
Speaker 1: developmentally at seven to try to figure this out, because
Speaker 1: I barely have the brain at forty one to developmentally
Speaker 1: figure this out. So it's just hard and it's just
Speaker 1: not fair, like we shouldn't we shouldn't have to be
Speaker 1: doing this. Well, it's the thing. I think I've struggled
Speaker 1: with that piece of it, because when I picked up
Speaker 1: Jolie when I got home from California, I said, hey, baby,
Speaker 1: I just didn't know how to even go about it,
Speaker 1: but I said, did you have you heard anything you
Speaker 1: want to talk to mommy about? And She's like, what,
Speaker 1: what do you mean. I go, I don't know, like
Speaker 1: maybe about like another school, and she goes, what No,
Speaker 1: And truthfully, I just was like, Okay, we'll just let
Speaker 1: Mommy know if you did, because I just was like,
Speaker 1: I don't even want to like scare I don't want
Speaker 1: to put that into her now. I didn't talk to
Speaker 1: Ramsey about it. I only talked to the older kids.
Speaker 1: Emmy had not heard the middle school Caden. They definitely
Speaker 1: they the teachers. Some of the teachers kind of talk
Speaker 1: to them about it throughout the day. I think they
Speaker 1: took they kind already take their phones, but they took
Speaker 1: their phones even more kind of kept them from their
Speaker 1: phones from seeing things that day. And I talked to
Speaker 1: Emmy about it, but I didn't talk to Ramsey about it.
Speaker 1: She's seven, okay. I mean I think that that's a
Speaker 1: that's a parental decision, and I think that that's a
Speaker 1: hard one, you know, it's you know, whereas my older
Speaker 1: kids are a little desensitized to it, Ramsey is not yet,
Speaker 1: And so I also didn't want to scare her either. Sure,
Speaker 1: I think it's difficult too, because there's so many things
Speaker 1: that I just remember. I sent Catherine a text. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, I want to say this because I just
Speaker 1: don't understand why. And it's just, you know, seeing kind
Speaker 1: of how social media and people saying things that just
Speaker 1: there's such then a war on social media with people
Speaker 1: fighting well no it's this, No, it's this, No, it's this,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, it's all of it in my opinion,
Speaker 1: Like it's like there needs to be changed, and there
Speaker 1: needs to be I think a certain level of gun reform,
Speaker 1: and I don't know why we need a fifteens and
Speaker 1: I would like security at schools, and I would I
Speaker 1: believe we need more God, and I believe we need
Speaker 1: to have something to help with mental health. Like I
Speaker 1: think there's just so much and it's just like I
Speaker 1: kind of feel like a small fish and a big
Speaker 1: gass ocean, Like I don't know, and we're just widening
Speaker 1: the gap with those kind of dialogues and the frustration
Speaker 1: and the fighting. I'm like, we're just doing what this
Speaker 1: is driven to do to us, instead of going in
Speaker 1: the opposite direction and like linking arms and going I
Speaker 1: hear you, I understand, I agree, or you know, like
Speaker 1: it's it's like we just keep widening such a finger pointing. Yes, well,
Speaker 1: we're letting evil win. I know, the dark, you know,
Speaker 1: like you're just you're letting it in when you fight,
Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, there was already. I actually had therapy
Speaker 1: the day after the shooting, and and Amy is very
Speaker 1: protective of me anyways, because in my childhood anyway, She's like,
Speaker 1: you've already had to deal with too much too soon.
Speaker 1: So and she talked to me about the cortisol levels
Speaker 1: and third trimester pregnancy and effects of baby on the baby,
Speaker 1: and so she was like, I need just you know,
Speaker 1: like we need to manage that for you. But I
Speaker 1: told her, I was like I just don't know what
Speaker 1: to do. And so I just made my kids dinner
Speaker 1: and we took a walk. And she was like, those
Speaker 1: are all really good things. And she said sometimes sometimes
Speaker 1: in this like everyone is like, you know, you do this,
Speaker 1: call your senator, do these things. She was like, absolutely,
Speaker 1: do those things if you feel called to do those things.
Speaker 1: But also just really take care of yourself. I have
Speaker 1: another Amy therapist friend who said there's a role for
Speaker 1: everybody in what happens post tragedy, So you shouldn't be
Speaker 1: hard on yourself because you're not doing one thing or
Speaker 1: not doing another, like we're not well. People go in
Speaker 1: your DMS go why are you speaking about this? Why
Speaker 1: are you saying this? And it's it's like a yeah,
Speaker 1: And I'm also just like, kindly give me a minute,
Speaker 1: Like we're trying to process as a family. This is
Speaker 1: right up the street. You know, it had been noted
Speaker 1: that other schools had been targeted too, and that that
Speaker 1: was on the agenda. So like, that's a lot to
Speaker 1: take in. We've we just there's just a lot that
Speaker 1: people don't know that we're all also sorting through and
Speaker 1: we all know somebody that went to that school or
Speaker 1: somebody of somebody, so we're trying to find names and
Speaker 1: faces and we're trying to figure out who it was,
Speaker 1: and just you know, a lot to take in. And
Speaker 1: I just want to say again, we shouldn't have to
Speaker 1: take it in and we're not supposed to be experts
Speaker 1: at this because it's not fair. Yeah, and I'd like
Speaker 1: to have, you know, dropped the kids off and not
Speaker 1: be like them threatened or like gosh am I going
Speaker 1: to pick them up? Like they just and even the
Speaker 1: kids they got there at school. Right now, I'm just yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: they had to witness as just shouldn't be happening. I
Speaker 1: would I wouldn't want to go to school. I'd have
Speaker 1: so much anxiety if that was happening. When I was
Speaker 1: a kid, I remember even after Vegas, I didn't go
Speaker 1: to shows for a long time. After the Vegas shooting.
Speaker 1: There was a kid with brass knuckles that got into
Speaker 1: a big fight in my school, and I remember being
Speaker 1: like traumatized. Can you imagine what these kids have to
Speaker 1: deal with now? It's just not okay. Do you remember
Speaker 1: being in high school in Columbine how? Yeah, Oh, because
Speaker 1: I remember that because our high school was very similar
Speaker 1: to Columbine and saying we had a lot of that's
Speaker 1: when kind of like all the drills kind of started
Speaker 1: and they started like working on stuff. So I remember
Speaker 1: that very vividly. Yeah. One thing that kind of hit
Speaker 1: home for me is how I know that we've were
Speaker 1: at past a point is reading that that today's active
Speaker 1: shooters went through active shooter like drills as elementary kids.
Speaker 1: It's a good point. Yeah, heavy, heavy, heavy, I know.
Speaker 1: And there's a lot of things going around, you know,
Speaker 1: saying prayers, aren't you know, um, we need more than prayers.
Speaker 1: But I believe healing happens with prayer, and I feel
Speaker 1: that we all need a little bit more of it.
Speaker 1: So man, um, we will be you know, we are
Speaker 1: sending our prayers and condolences and uh it's yeah, it's
Speaker 1: it's awful. So to address that, obviously we have to
Speaker 1: move on with the show. Um, So we will do
Speaker 1: that after the break in other news. Um, I don't
Speaker 1: know if I'm actually supposed to share this information, but
Speaker 1: I'm going to. Anyways, why do you do it? And
Speaker 1: if it has to get cut, it has to get cut.
Speaker 1: Hey Jackie, will you put on your camera? Bab uh
Speaker 1: poor thing? What's going on? Bhi? So we're gonna we're
Speaker 1: gonna lighten this up a little. Um our sweet Jackie
Speaker 1: is like that. Hi guys. Yes, So on Kristen, when
Speaker 1: you're like oh, I was like me too. I'm only
Speaker 1: like two months a long how far? How far along
Speaker 1: are you now? Was it my seventeenth week? And so
Speaker 1: I told Jana on Monday in La So, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm still like I'm showing a little bit but not
Speaker 1: too much. But I'm do September third, and this is
Speaker 1: your first yes from cute I feel good. First trimester
Speaker 1: was really hard because it's like nausea and everything, you
Speaker 1: know how it is that's good, that's healthy. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I've felm feel a little bit more more like
Speaker 1: myself this trimester and um, and I just kept it
Speaker 1: a little bit like to myself because I wanted to
Speaker 1: get through the first trimester because I'm like thirty seven.
Speaker 1: You know how they tell you after thirty five. I
Speaker 1: just want to make sure it's stock, you know, like
Speaker 1: you know how that is in my head. I was
Speaker 1: in my head a little bit about that. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's so crazy how they Because I was
Speaker 1: talking to somebody else, I mean, Chris, and you're what
Speaker 1: forty one? My mom? I was talking to my mom
Speaker 1: earlier and she's she was saying something about her one
Speaker 1: friend and I remember her. She she was like forty
Speaker 1: and then forty three when she had her next one.
Speaker 1: And Emma, my makeup artist in Los Angeles, like she
Speaker 1: had her baby at forty three, and it's like women
Speaker 1: feel like they have And I was thinking about that too,
Speaker 1: because when I was, uh, what, you know, dating my ex,
Speaker 1: it was like, oh God, I have to get pregnant.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, you actually have more time than you think.
Speaker 1: They just put so much pressure and and it's true
Speaker 1: the eggs and all that stuff do get whatever, like,
Speaker 1: but you can still get pregnant and you can still
Speaker 1: have a healthy pregnancy. So congratulation, so excited for you.
Speaker 1: It's the baby boy. And oh yeah, I'm excited. I
Speaker 1: hope he has your cheeks, Jackie, little diffalls are everything
Speaker 1: so cute. Well, congrats so much. We're so excited for
Speaker 1: You're right here for all the advice. Oh I know,
Speaker 1: with the gadgets you don't need and all the gadgets
Speaker 1: you do. Yeah, I'm so grateful too, because like im
Speaker 1: all my friends are on their second kid, and you know,
Speaker 1: like the community of mama's Like it's so beautiful to
Speaker 1: me because it's like I'm I'm an auntie of five,
Speaker 1: so like I can take care of like the kids
Speaker 1: and all that. But it's like stepping into something else
Speaker 1: like that. It is a little scary. But the community
Speaker 1: mamas is so beautiful and I love it. I love it.
Speaker 1: And speaking of mama's, we have on Paula Faris, I
Speaker 1: want to read a little what was it called insert
Speaker 1: about her? Like so many mothers who were forced out
Speaker 1: of their jobs during the pandemic. Ferris lost her as
Speaker 1: at ABC News in twenty twenty. It was then she
Speaker 1: knew she wanted to create a better way forward for
Speaker 1: working moms, Moms who are tired of the constant conflict
Speaker 1: between working and momming, a feeling that they're failing everyone everywhere,
Speaker 1: of facing the gender disparities and workplaces that treat mothers
Speaker 1: like risks instead of assets, end of dealing with the
Speaker 1: exhaustion of trying to carry it all. Ferris, is self
Speaker 1: described advocate for Mom's, launched Carry Media in twenty twenty
Speaker 1: two to champion working mom through resources, content and storytelling.
Speaker 1: And I just I love that. So she she has
Speaker 1: a new book that's out. You don't have to carry
Speaker 1: it all, ditch the mom guilt and find a better
Speaker 1: way forward. And I think for me, one of the
Speaker 1: biggest quotes that I've said, I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to have to carry it all. That's what I've
Speaker 1: the constant thing that I felt in my marriage, being
Speaker 1: a single mom. You know, it's like that, just feeling
Speaker 1: like I have to carry it all. It's overwhelming. Well,
Speaker 1: it's exhausting. I actually thought of you as I was
Speaker 1: reading about Paula. I was like, I just I thought
Speaker 1: about like the million hats you wear and the pressure
Speaker 1: that you feel and all the things. I mean, both
Speaker 1: of you do such a great job. I feel like
Speaker 1: get balancing. I mean, I'm a full time stay at
Speaker 1: home mom, so I just need to like clear that up.
Speaker 1: I'm not I can do things, but I don't have
Speaker 1: to do things, which is also a luxury. But I
Speaker 1: thought of both of you and how well you balance
Speaker 1: both of it. But just like the pressure of having
Speaker 1: to work too, Like I don't have to respond to
Speaker 1: anyone right away. This is really my only job and
Speaker 1: it's not even a job. I just show up at
Speaker 1: my friend's house. I mean, but that's hard too. I
Speaker 1: think it's like each aspect is difficult. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: with sure my situations, like I feel like I have
Speaker 1: to because I'm like, well, I have to pay for
Speaker 1: child support. I have to have the roof over their heads.
Speaker 1: I have to. I don't have to, but I you know,
Speaker 1: I get to, right, But it's also that pressure that's
Speaker 1: it's a lot. It's a lot, and then you know,
Speaker 1: I just so I carry that on top of like, Okay,
Speaker 1: a career that's so freaking unstable. Any I was just
Speaker 1: doing an audition earlier with my boyfriend and I was like, whatever,
Speaker 1: I don't I'm just like I'm not even gonna get it.
Speaker 1: And he's like, well, that attitude, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: because I don't like coach Allen and that's not a
Speaker 1: winning attitude hard because you just like sometimes I'm just
Speaker 1: like I don't and I don't want to work this
Speaker 1: hard sometimes, Like I know, I would like to just
Speaker 1: be supported too, you know, in a financial aspect, it's
Speaker 1: because it's a lot. It is a lot. I mean, Kat,
Speaker 1: I know you were kind of dealing with that a
Speaker 1: little bit with Yeah. I mean that pressure is so
Speaker 1: different though, like that pressure of having to provide for
Speaker 1: your family versus you know, being married and then having
Speaker 1: a job and having that pressure. It's different. I mean
Speaker 1: I don't have the pressure. I know at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, if I lost my job, or if
Speaker 1: I needed to quit my job, or if I didn't
Speaker 1: have a job, I would still be supported. So that
Speaker 1: is very, very different than what you have to deal with.
Speaker 1: That pressure is a whole different pressure. But yes, I
Speaker 1: have worked pretty much my entire motherhood. And I just
Speaker 1: think that, you know, balance is key, you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: that's just balance is key. That's all I can say,
Speaker 1: you know. But the pressure of having to provide, that's
Speaker 1: that's a whole other level. Yeah, so let's get let's
Speaker 1: get paul on No, sorry, I thought it was one thirty.
Speaker 1: Don't you carry that guilt. It's okay, drop the guilt.
Speaker 1: Drop the guilt, baby, it's time Lately, moms can make
Speaker 1: mistakes sometimes because we've got a million things we're doing.
Speaker 1: Apologies again, you can't be late here. It's all good.
Speaker 1: Don't You're like you're dead to me. This is like
Speaker 1: the most understanding group of women ever. Like if there
Speaker 1: was ever a place where you could come in late,
Speaker 1: this is it. So yeah, and we're all moms too,
Speaker 1: so we and we were just kind of talking about
Speaker 1: to your book because I was, I was, you know,
Speaker 1: telling the girls and they know this and I know
Speaker 1: we all feel this, but like, honestly, the quote that
Speaker 1: I feel like that I've said a million times over
Speaker 1: and over, that's like plastered on my forehead as I like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to carry this all the time, Like
Speaker 1: I feel like I have to carry it all the time,
Speaker 1: and it just becomes um, you know what. We all
Speaker 1: feel that in different situations, right, So like mine's on
Speaker 1: like the single mom's side, you know, having to support
Speaker 1: my kids, pay child support, do all those things while
Speaker 1: still trying to have a career. So like that struggle.
Speaker 1: And then you know she's got you know, she's a
Speaker 1: traveling husband who's gone like at least two hundred nights
Speaker 1: a year with a seven year old was a deep
Speaker 1: feeler and a four year old boy who's Will Ferrell.
Speaker 1: And so I'm and I'm pregnant one. Oh my gosh, congratulations.
Speaker 1: It's really a feat but yeah, just like I felt
Speaker 1: it the other day, like I was like, how do
Speaker 1: I carry all these emotions? It's different, but it's a
Speaker 1: different responsibility. And then we've got Cat too, who's got
Speaker 1: you know, kids going into almost high school. I don't
Speaker 1: remind me, it's just it's busy. It's a lot. How
Speaker 1: old are yours? Cat? Mine are fourteen? Eleven and seven? Okay, okay, fourteen,
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, fourteen, I'm reading this down. Eleven and seven, Joanna?
Speaker 1: How old is your seven and four? Little one? We
Speaker 1: keep it real tight. Over here. We have a season.
Speaker 1: We just text each other. Okay, so wait, so seven
Speaker 1: and four both of us. Yeah, that's our girls are
Speaker 1: three weeks apart and our boys are three months apart.
Speaker 1: Like we definitely are like, okay, we're having a baby. Okay, great,
Speaker 1: hands in on three except for the third you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: we're done. Yeah, someone some of us bow out and
Speaker 1: that's just fine, and some of us going to biblical proportions.
Speaker 1: It's fine. Okay. I have a fifteen a thirteen, I'm like,
Speaker 1: how old are they not? Fifteen thirteen and just turned nine. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's fun. It's fun, and it gets like it gets better.
Speaker 1: It's a different type of exhausting though, That's what I've heard.
Speaker 1: So yeah, how and how long have you been married? For?
Speaker 1: Um going on twenty three years. I'm married my college sweethearts,
Speaker 1: very good for years. It's a very like small Christian
Speaker 1: school thing to do, right, So that's cute. I did
Speaker 1: that one too. Yeah, see, and how did that work out?
Speaker 1: I have like like half of my friends are divorced, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I got because you guys, it was crazy. So I
Speaker 1: went to a real small conservative Christian school and the
Speaker 1: joke was that everyone was there to get their Mrs. Degree.
Speaker 1: Oh I was in thirteen weddings by the time I
Speaker 1: got married at the riple age of twenty four. Wow,
Speaker 1: I was like the old maid of the group to
Speaker 1: get married. So that crazy, that's crazy. It's just times
Speaker 1: are a change in and with the josh the you know,
Speaker 1: the job that you have and also had, you know,
Speaker 1: being on TV. And was your husband, I mean, was
Speaker 1: he so supportive and he still felt that guilt? He okay,
Speaker 1: So you know, I write in the book that you know,
Speaker 1: my story of spousal equity was kind of a rarity,
Speaker 1: especially in those conservative circles. You know. My husband was
Speaker 1: a college basketball coach when we first got married and
Speaker 1: loved coaching, and then my career started taking off. And
Speaker 1: when my career was taking off, he said, let's go
Speaker 1: for this. He was super supportive, and so he gave
Speaker 1: up his career coaching basketball to follow mine. But of course,
Speaker 1: you know, it was a joint decision. But we moved
Speaker 1: from Ohio to Chicago and then to New York, and
Speaker 1: every time I got a promotion, he's like, let's go
Speaker 1: for it. So but that's an exception, you know, like
Speaker 1: I say, my story of spousal equity is definitely an exception.
Speaker 1: But he's always been really supportive, really really supportive, and
Speaker 1: it's cool to see how it's all come back around
Speaker 1: since I left TV News. You know, coaching has always
Speaker 1: been his first love and he still has a like
Speaker 1: a day to day regular job. He's in commercial real estate,
Speaker 1: but he coaches at one of the area high schools
Speaker 1: he was asked to coach, and he's also coaching one
Speaker 1: of the travel sports teams basketball teams. So it's all
Speaker 1: kind of come back, which is really cool. Do you
Speaker 1: miss being on TV and anchoring? You know, it's still
Speaker 1: funny people ask me that I have a new appreciation,
Speaker 1: Like when I went back to New York for my
Speaker 1: media tour, I have a new appreciation for New York
Speaker 1: and all of that represents as a tourist now that
Speaker 1: I'm on the other side, I missed. There are certain
Speaker 1: aspects of it that I missed, the storytelling, you know,
Speaker 1: the fast paced aspect of it. But I really love
Speaker 1: this new season and I love what I'm doing, the
Speaker 1: work that I'm doing to champion moms, working moms and
Speaker 1: advocating for them, and I love being able to be
Speaker 1: really present with my kids. So you know, it's like
Speaker 1: when you romanticize the situation and have nostalgia. Like my
Speaker 1: husband and I were just talking about it, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes there are moments I miss it, but
Speaker 1: I'm like, I miss the feeling, but I don't really
Speaker 1: miss the reality of it when you really think about it,
Speaker 1: the reality of getting up early, not seeing my kids,
Speaker 1: you know, missing out on all the important moments that
Speaker 1: I wanted to to be part of. So and that's
Speaker 1: just natural. But I really love where I am right now.
Speaker 1: I really do. Does it feel like you it's supplemented
Speaker 1: in those moments of like missing those pieces. Do you
Speaker 1: get supplemented with watching him be able to step more
Speaker 1: back into his role of things he loves to do
Speaker 1: that's passionate and like being with the kids. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure. And it's cool just to see how you know,
Speaker 1: we totally blew up our lives at the beginning of
Speaker 1: the pandemic and I left TV News. We both left
Speaker 1: New York City, moved to a small town in South Carolina,
Speaker 1: and what we weren't really sure like the next what
Speaker 1: was going to be in the next chapter, But we
Speaker 1: just we just knew that this was what we were
Speaker 1: supposed to do. And it's like we're both super fulfilled.
Speaker 1: Our kids are really thriving now, and it life's different.
Speaker 1: It was whiplash because we moved from what eight nine
Speaker 1: million people to a town of twenty four hundred. I
Speaker 1: mean it is small. It is small town, but we
Speaker 1: love it, we really do. And I think one of
Speaker 1: the biggest lessons that I've learned is that we have
Speaker 1: to give ourselves permission to try new things and new seasons.
Speaker 1: We're like, oh, I have to be this one thing.
Speaker 1: I have to do this one thing for the rest
Speaker 1: of my life. I have to be, you know, a
Speaker 1: country music star, or I have to be, you know,
Speaker 1: a real estate agent, or I have to be a teacher,
Speaker 1: I have to be a broadcaster for the rest of
Speaker 1: my life. And I just had to realize I had
Speaker 1: to give myself permission to try new things in new season.
Speaker 1: So this new season, I feel really called to, you know,
Speaker 1: advocating for working momster carry. My husband feels really called to,
Speaker 1: you know, coaching young men on the basketball court and
Speaker 1: continuing with his commercial real estate business. But giving yourself
Speaker 1: permission to try new things in new seasons. And that's
Speaker 1: kind of how I see it, Like I may not
Speaker 1: want this in five ten years, and that's okay. I
Speaker 1: kind of look at life in chapters in seasons. So
Speaker 1: but we have to give ourselves permission to see ourselves
Speaker 1: a new capacity and permission for others to see ourselves
Speaker 1: in a new capacity. And that can be really scary.
Speaker 1: I like that, what a splash going through it here
Speaker 1: with my two bodies. Don't mind me. Sorry, by the way,
Speaker 1: when are you do, Jim? Okay, beginning in a jam? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really it's probably really comfortable to be sitting down
Speaker 1: right now. Well, we've we have adjusted as a team.
Speaker 1: We've adjusted the up angle here, which I really can
Speaker 1: appreciate because for a long time I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: this is like my belly button was doing the talking.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. So okay, So what are some of
Speaker 1: your methods for our like theys A tips for burnout,
Speaker 1: because I feel like that's a big thing that we
Speaker 1: all experienced too, is as moms. Yeah, one thing that
Speaker 1: was really fascinating. So the reason I wrote the book
Speaker 1: to begin with, and you don't have to carry it.
Speaker 1: I'll ditch the mom guilt and find a better way forward.
Speaker 1: It was my own experience as a mother in the
Speaker 1: workplace and the experience of so many other moms that
Speaker 1: it's you, guys, it's not just feeling, it is fact.
Speaker 1: Once you become a mother in this country, in America,
Speaker 1: you were paid less seventy cents in the dollar compared
Speaker 1: to fathers. You're valued less, and you're scrutinized more. You're
Speaker 1: all of a sudden not seen as a viable leader,
Speaker 1: You're passed over on promotions. The scrutiny goes through the roof.
Speaker 1: That's once you become a mother. And so I wanted
Speaker 1: to like set up a case for not just how
Speaker 1: we can give working moms the support they need to deserve,
Speaker 1: but why we should do it. As a country. More
Speaker 1: moms are working because they have to. Seventy percent will
Speaker 1: be the primary breadwinner in their home, and we're carrying
Speaker 1: out of all of that. You know, we're a marginalized community.
Speaker 1: And then we're burnout. We're burnt out at record levels
Speaker 1: levels we've never seen before. It is harder to be
Speaker 1: a mother in America than anywhere else. And it's because
Speaker 1: mainly we don't have a realistic measuring stick of what
Speaker 1: it means to be a mom here, right, there's nobody
Speaker 1: that we can really look up to. I mean, June
Speaker 1: Cleaver kind of set us up for disaster back in
Speaker 1: the nineteen fifties. And we're still trying to carry it all,
Speaker 1: and we feel like we can't ask for help because
Speaker 1: we'll be weak or or it's a sign of failure.
Speaker 1: So we're carrying all of this because that's the expectation
Speaker 1: that you need to carry it all. You need to
Speaker 1: be a mommy martyr, you'd need to be the perfect
Speaker 1: Pinterest mother. And we're burnt out. And it's no surprise
Speaker 1: that we're burnt out. But I think you know, we
Speaker 1: can burn out on motherhood, which I burn out of motherhood.
Speaker 1: We can burn out on jobs, we can burn out
Speaker 1: on our expectations. So there's a lot of different contributing
Speaker 1: factors to burnout. And one thing that I've noticed is
Speaker 1: that when I'm starting to feel like a little crispy
Speaker 1: where I'm starting to feel that burnout creep in again.
Speaker 1: Like last summer, I was totally burnt out on motherhood.
Speaker 1: I wasn't burnout on the work I'm doing. I wasn't
Speaker 1: burnout on anything else. I was burnout on mothering my children.
Speaker 1: And you know, once your kids get a little older,
Speaker 1: you start to carry their burdens and their anxiety and
Speaker 1: their relationships and all of those different dynamics. And like
Speaker 1: you carry, you start to carry all of that and
Speaker 1: you can burn out on it. And one of my
Speaker 1: friends said, she gave me some really great advice. She said,
Speaker 1: when you feel that burnout coming, we'll first recognize that
Speaker 1: burnout can come from a myriad of different angles. You
Speaker 1: need to start staying. Yeah, you obviously have to clear
Speaker 1: your plate and say no to things, but in doing that,
Speaker 1: you can also ruthlessly say no to the things that
Speaker 1: also bring you joy. So she said, she encouraged me.
Speaker 1: She said, do something for that you really love them
Speaker 1: just brings you radical joy. And I'm not talking about
Speaker 1: necessarily a spot. Spot is not going to fix it,
Speaker 1: but like they know, to certain things and prioritizing but
Speaker 1: also saying yes to things that bring you a lot
Speaker 1: of joy. For me, it was something as simple as
Speaker 1: grabbing a couple of my girlfriends and go taking a
Speaker 1: Trappi's yoga class, you know, just doing something really fun.
Speaker 1: And didn't see that one coming I'm not gonna lie Trappia. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I was like that. I gotta tell you
Speaker 1: that was a mad live for me. I didn't You
Speaker 1: don't see me hanging upside down from with silks, Well
Speaker 1: I do now, but I didn't say there you think
Speaker 1: that was going to be where you were going with it.
Speaker 1: But I think when we think burnout, were like clear
Speaker 1: your plate, clear your plate. Say no, no, no, you're
Speaker 1: burnt out. But like I had to realize, I can
Speaker 1: burn out on my expectations of my children. You know,
Speaker 1: I can burn out on being a mother. I can. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can burn out in a job. But there's a
Speaker 1: lot of different things that can cause burnout. And yes,
Speaker 1: you have to say no, but you also have to
Speaker 1: say yes to something that just brings you wild and
Speaker 1: radical joy. And it doesn't have to be anything big.
Speaker 1: It could be trappy yoga. It could be hey, I
Speaker 1: want to go fly fishing. That's probably not going to
Speaker 1: appeal to you. It could be like, you know, I
Speaker 1: want to just take a drive, you know, get in
Speaker 1: the car for like two hours ago on a scenic
Speaker 1: road trip by myself, and grab a ninety nine cent
Speaker 1: found drink, you know, on the way. So it could
Speaker 1: be something simple, but like you have to say yes
Speaker 1: the things that bring you joy, um, as well to
Speaker 1: make sure that you know you're taking care of yourself. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because the opposite swing of that sometimes I think is
Speaker 1: like the natural like we shut down and then we isolate,
Speaker 1: and that's not good either. So it's like the saying no,
Speaker 1: it's really bad. Yeah it's I whenever I get I
Speaker 1: just start crying. It's just because I just feel exhausted. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it alone. I don't want to do it alone. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know what's really interesting? Um? You know, so when
Speaker 1: I in writing the book, I talked kinds of thought
Speaker 1: leaders and experts and historians and sociologists, moms from all walks,
Speaker 1: moms from all over the world to try to figure
Speaker 1: out like not just how we can support mother's butter
Speaker 1: and why, but like why is it so freaking hard
Speaker 1: to be a mom here in America because anywhere else? Mean,
Speaker 1: yeah they're so mean, but ladies, Yeah, they just make
Speaker 1: you feel terrible. I'm I'm traveling too much to my kids, this,
Speaker 1: that and the other. Like why aren't your kids with you?
Speaker 1: Wealth because they were with their dad that weekend? I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: Like that on social media, there's like bunny sandwiches being
Speaker 1: made and I'm like, like, you give them Chiffy peanut butter.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I do because I like it. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: guess what I want to do? Yeah, yeah. And I
Speaker 1: think at the crux of the mommy wars is just
Speaker 1: a lack of respect for another person's choice and we
Speaker 1: don't understand. Like I realized, I had so many blind
Speaker 1: spots about motherhood. I'm like, oh, a good mom stays
Speaker 1: home to raise her children, as if a working mom
Speaker 1: can't raise our kids. I was raised by a stay
Speaker 1: at home mom, right, But I realized that, like, hey,
Speaker 1: this isn't the nineteen fifties. Most moms are working now
Speaker 1: because they have to work. And Jenna, you're a single mom.
Speaker 1: I mean, we have the largest number of children living
Speaker 1: in single parent homes here in America than anywhere else
Speaker 1: in the country. My book was written by a single
Speaker 1: mom of three, My publishers a single mom of three,
Speaker 1: My editor is a single mom, So I understand, like,
Speaker 1: I understand that tension. But when I was talking with
Speaker 1: mom global moms, they not only didn't have guilt about
Speaker 1: working and guilt about motherhood and parenting. They actually took
Speaker 1: an enormous amount of pride in working, in contributing to
Speaker 1: the community and contributing to the family. However, the community
Speaker 1: was also very supportive. Right their mantra and other countries
Speaker 1: is I am my brother's keeper. Everyone was invested in
Speaker 1: raising the children in the community, regardless of whether or
Speaker 1: not they were their children, because they realized that children
Speaker 1: are our greatest natural resource. They are the future of
Speaker 1: this country, and so everyone has vested interest in making
Speaker 1: sure that this next generation of children rises up. They
Speaker 1: have policies that support families. Here in America, it is
Speaker 1: a stress and strain to raise children. There's there's a
Speaker 1: thing called a happy gap, which I discovered after interviewing
Speaker 1: this a renowned sociologist, A happy gap between parents and
Speaker 1: non parents here in America that doesn't exist to the
Speaker 1: levels it does here in America. They have a beautiful interdependence.
Speaker 1: In other countries where they have either family members living
Speaker 1: with them or there's just this attitude of you better
Speaker 1: ask me for help, right and said, here, it's like
Speaker 1: you feel like it's an obligation. You feel you feel
Speaker 1: like you're putting somebody out if you ask them well
Speaker 1: even sometimes even your family mostly oh yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: know it's treated like an obligation, but in other countries
Speaker 1: is just it's the beautiful interdependence. They don't have guilt.
Speaker 1: There's structures set up to support families and also to
Speaker 1: news flash value children because I'm like, here, they're either
Speaker 1: the future of our country or they're not, so let's
Speaker 1: invest in them. But it's just you know. And one
Speaker 1: of the moms I spoke with she had foreign exchange
Speaker 1: students from all over the world that would visit her
Speaker 1: house or visit her home and stay with them every year,
Speaker 1: and she said the overwhelming feedback from the foreign exchange
Speaker 1: students was American mothers are working harder than any mothers
Speaker 1: in the entire world. And it's so true because we're
Speaker 1: trying to carry it all. We're trying to do it
Speaker 1: all again, there's no realistic measuring stick, and if we
Speaker 1: ask for help, we're weak or we're a failure. So yeah,
Speaker 1: and there's much a lot of teamwork, you know. Like
Speaker 1: my when I was my daughter was young, I had
Speaker 1: a girlfriend who would we would I would go to
Speaker 1: her house. We would I would drop my daughter off,
Speaker 1: I would go get my nails done. Then I would
Speaker 1: come back and she would go get her nails done
Speaker 1: and we would watch each other's kids, and it was
Speaker 1: like that's beautiful. It was fun and it was wonderful.
Speaker 1: She moved home to Georgia to be with her family,
Speaker 1: so then I know he system. But it is like
Speaker 1: I feel I feel sometimes dressed out because I'm like
Speaker 1: to go leave and do anything cost me like a
Speaker 1: certain amount of money an hour. I just think that
Speaker 1: that's totally It's so important, Like both I could say
Speaker 1: all three of my kids, I have people that I know.
Speaker 1: I can call on a mom friend be like, hey
Speaker 1: can you take so and so today? And I'll take
Speaker 1: them the next day, like we all kind of do.
Speaker 1: I mean it is a smaller community, but like we
Speaker 1: all do that. It's like, yeah, I have a really
Speaker 1: good friend who works a lot. She's a nurse. She
Speaker 1: works all the time, and like I don't think twice,
Speaker 1: like her daughter's like my second daughter. Like anytime you're working,
Speaker 1: I got her. We're doing this, you know. But everyone
Speaker 1: doesn't have that mentality anymore. No, the community it's huge,
Speaker 1: and that's the thing, like we need to ask for help. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we can wait for society's attitudes to change about our
Speaker 1: kids and about our families. We can wait for the policymakers.
Speaker 1: It's going to take a long time to catch up
Speaker 1: and actually like create policies that are family friendly. We
Speaker 1: say we're family friendly in this country, but that's bs.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you know the way that our policies do
Speaker 1: not support that at all. But what we can do
Speaker 1: is we can stop carrying it all. We can ask
Speaker 1: for help. And that's one thing I've learned to do.
Speaker 1: It's really hard. It's hard for me to ask for
Speaker 1: help because we've been conditioned. I've been conditioned, we've been
Speaker 1: conditioned as women to not ask for it because we're weak.
Speaker 1: And it's almost like this martyr status if we don't,
Speaker 1: if we can do it all on our own, yeah,
Speaker 1: well news watch. That's why we're all warned out right.
Speaker 1: But if you if we can ask for help and
Speaker 1: can't what you just described as so beautiful, you've created
Speaker 1: an interdependence and your friends can be closer than your family,
Speaker 1: but you are just as much that helped to your
Speaker 1: friends as they are to you. And it can and
Speaker 1: for like I can't necessarily you know, af forward full
Speaker 1: time childcare. But what I can do is offer that
Speaker 1: childcare to another friend. Hey Friday, I'm going to take
Speaker 1: your kids next Friday, will you take mine. I'm going
Speaker 1: to take your kid home. I'm going to pick your
Speaker 1: kid up from track practice or from carpool. I'm going
Speaker 1: to bring dinner to you. I'm gonna go clean your house.
Speaker 1: So you create, you create a beautiful interdependence and you
Speaker 1: create community. And guess what, there's a cost to that.
Speaker 1: You will you there is a sacrifice to that you
Speaker 1: will be. It's not that you're obligated, but it's not
Speaker 1: always going to be convenient. And that's one thing. Like
Speaker 1: we live such convenience, live convenient lives. If we want
Speaker 1: to be part of something bigger than ourselves and we
Speaker 1: want to be part of community, and we say it
Speaker 1: takes a village, we have to also be willing to
Speaker 1: be inconvenience for other people. And we're not, but we
Speaker 1: have to. We have to take that first step and
Speaker 1: say I'm going to do I'm gonna be this for
Speaker 1: you if you want somebody else to do the same. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love the friendship. I mean I feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: especially even like my daughter is like my friend pay
Speaker 1: him like, Okay, do you have I'll take Harlow this
Speaker 1: week or you got so you know, Jolie the next week.
Speaker 1: And I think the asking for help piece is almost
Speaker 1: easier with friends. It's harder for me and like relationships,
Speaker 1: because I feel like when in past if I was
Speaker 1: to ask for help, but it would never get done,
Speaker 1: so I'm like, well, I'm just gonna do it myself.
Speaker 1: And then now I've been so trained to not ask
Speaker 1: for help because well, ay, I like it the way
Speaker 1: that I do it right, I know going to get done.
Speaker 1: So you know that's a piece now is like trying
Speaker 1: to like switch off. They're like, Okay, try it differently
Speaker 1: again and learn like it's ask for help, which is hard. No,
Speaker 1: but that's that's that's really good too. And Janna, that's
Speaker 1: something I think a lot of moms struggle with. We
Speaker 1: want it's just sometimes easier for us to do it,
Speaker 1: and even with our kids. So I write a chapter
Speaker 1: about how we're hot housing their children here in America
Speaker 1: and the lessons I learned from parents in France, where
Speaker 1: like they believe that a key and vital aspect of
Speaker 1: childhood development is allowing your children to be frustrated, say
Speaker 1: no and meaning it, say no, we're not going to
Speaker 1: do that, and it's okay if you're frustrated. That is
Speaker 1: that is a key component to the development. Like the
Speaker 1: French and I don't know if you guys have ever
Speaker 1: been to France, they really don't have kids venues. I mean,
Speaker 1: the kids just have to adapt. They have to learn
Speaker 1: how to be frustrated. And that also extends to like
Speaker 1: why are we the sheafault the mom Why are we
Speaker 1: the ones doing everything at home? Why are we working
Speaker 1: ninety eight hours a week between work and home and
Speaker 1: picking up everything at home, the laundry, the cooking. We
Speaker 1: got to ask our kids to start doing some of
Speaker 1: that too, And yes, we could do it better, we
Speaker 1: could do it more efficiently. And you know, like my
Speaker 1: boys like might just put things in the dryer and
Speaker 1: not put them in the washer. They think somehow that
Speaker 1: the dryer is going to clean them too. But I'm like,
Speaker 1: you just have to let them learn to learn to
Speaker 1: figure it out. My son the other day he's like, Mom,
Speaker 1: I don't think I have any clean clothes for a
Speaker 1: golf practice. He's in seventh grade, And I was like,
Speaker 1: did you do your laundry and he said no, and
Speaker 1: I said, I'm sorry, you know, like he's starting to
Speaker 1: do his laundry. But we also have to allow them
Speaker 1: to accept those consequences and also helped train them to
Speaker 1: be a good partner down the road and an adult. Right,
Speaker 1: I mean, they're already starting to become an adult. I
Speaker 1: mean for kids that have graduated and don't know how
Speaker 1: to do they don't know how to boil pasta, they
Speaker 1: don't know how to do their laundry, Like we're doing
Speaker 1: our kids a disservice. Kids these days can earn, but
Speaker 1: they can't empathize, and they can perform, but they can't perceive.
Speaker 1: Like we've got to allow our kids to get their
Speaker 1: their feet and their hands dirty. Yeah. Well, I just
Speaker 1: had this conversation with my sister in law who came
Speaker 1: over and my house was a mess and there was
Speaker 1: dirty dishes and the thing. And I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: don't mind my dirty dishes. I'm just waiting on my
Speaker 1: son to do them, because he's supposed to have done
Speaker 1: the dishes last night. She was like, how can you
Speaker 1: do that? Just let him sit there and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh no, they're gonna sit there until he does the dishes, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's his job and they're gonna sit there and yeah,
Speaker 1: my house might be a mess right now, but it's
Speaker 1: still his job to do them. Do you give him
Speaker 1: like a time, because that would like start like I
Speaker 1: want to go right now. Yeah, yeah, well I meant
Speaker 1: leave dishes and the thing. It's a thing exactly, That's
Speaker 1: what she was saying. But I'm like, but you're doing
Speaker 1: your kids at disservice now. Having said that, the reason
Speaker 1: they sat there is because he did have something else
Speaker 1: he had to do. He had a prior commitment, so yes,
Speaker 1: it would be easy, and sure we've done it a
Speaker 1: couple times. We just do it anyway, but we're really
Speaker 1: trying not to do that. That means they have to
Speaker 1: sit through your dishes all so I make I make
Speaker 1: Julian Jays do their own and then sometimes Julia big
Speaker 1: mommy Alcacharz. I'm like, that's okay, but like, well ours,
Speaker 1: I mean, our pals up. So sure it's like not
Speaker 1: even so it's like I need it takes you know, whatever,
Speaker 1: But I mean, yes, it's not easy. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, it's like, okay, it's not going to teach
Speaker 1: him anything if we just do it. And that's why,
Speaker 1: Like when my son asked me, He's like, will you
Speaker 1: just do my laundry? And I was like, I'd love to,
Speaker 1: but I'm sorry. You need to look, you need to
Speaker 1: like understand the consequences of not doing it. Are you
Speaker 1: not going to have clean clothes? Yep? To where to
Speaker 1: practice and allowing him to kind of feel that frustration.
Speaker 1: It's not that I don't love him. I love my child.
Speaker 1: I would it's so much easier for me to do
Speaker 1: it right, and it's easy for me just to intervene.
Speaker 1: But I'm not teaching him anything, and I've like I
Speaker 1: my parenting style is totally different now since I wrote
Speaker 1: the book. I allow my children to, especially especially my youngest,
Speaker 1: my nine year old, to feel for austration because I
Speaker 1: realized that that's a key part of of growing up.
Speaker 1: It's a key part of of being a human. So
Speaker 1: I don't want I want my kids again to perceive
Speaker 1: and not just perform, and I want them to empathize
Speaker 1: and not just burn. Um. I want my my son's
Speaker 1: partners to thank me down the road instead of hate
Speaker 1: me for raising a enabled son who expects food to
Speaker 1: just magically appear like I want my kids. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: want so. My mother in law thinks she nailed it, Paula,
Speaker 1: My mother in law really thinks she nailed that. I
Speaker 1: tell you, as you're saying all of this, like a
Speaker 1: lot of mine. Burnout even came in the marriage piece, like,
Speaker 1: I know you have this sweet, wonderful husband who seems
Speaker 1: to be very cool. He's Oh he's not perfect, none
Speaker 1: of it. None of us are. It's been a it's
Speaker 1: been a journey. He's younger than me, So I say,
Speaker 1: you know, trained up a child in the way they
Speaker 1: should go. There was a lot of training. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: what happened. A lot of training for me. You're still training.
Speaker 1: What do you what do you think the biggest takeaway
Speaker 1: or what would you like the biggest takeaway to be
Speaker 1: with your book? Is it truly the mom's dropping the
Speaker 1: guilt or what do you think it is? Well, I
Speaker 1: think moms just want to feel seen and heard and
Speaker 1: valued and validated, right everybody, Like I just I want
Speaker 1: you to have this reaction like, oh my gosh, finally
Speaker 1: someone is saying it. I had someone reach out to
Speaker 1: me that's reading it. She's like two pages in, I'm
Speaker 1: already in tears. She's like, why is it twenty twenty
Speaker 1: three in this book, because just now being written, that's like, yes,
Speaker 1: it's it's full of research and history and facts and
Speaker 1: funny anecdotes, and it documents a better way forward. It's
Speaker 1: hopeful and it's helpful. It's the tool belt. It's like
Speaker 1: a better way forward for working and momming. But I
Speaker 1: want moms to feel seen. I want moms to feel heard.
Speaker 1: I want them to feel valued, and I want them
Speaker 1: to feel validated. That's overwhelmingly what I want. I want hug.
Speaker 1: You were right here. Everyone to everyone, go grab you
Speaker 1: don't have to carry it all. Ditch the mom gills
Speaker 1: and find a better way forward by right now. Paula
Speaker 1: Faris girlfriend, thank you so much for coming on wine down. Oh,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. And I just have one more
Speaker 1: thing to say to all three of you. You are
Speaker 1: a good mom. I don't feel like you can tell
Speaker 1: somebody that when you tell another mom that, she's just
Speaker 1: like really, because we doubt our son too emotional. I
Speaker 1: made it the whole time with you without crying. You
Speaker 1: said a few things where I was like, I'm definitely
Speaker 1: gonna cry, But that is a good mom. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: I'm tired. I work for the Kardashians for free. That's
Speaker 1: how I feel. I'm tired, That's how it feels. I
Speaker 1: had to remind my people the other day. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't work for you, like, I'm here because I
Speaker 1: love the Lord. You know, I'm trying to change a
Speaker 1: better generation, not because I'm getting paid to be here,
Speaker 1: you know, Like how get sister out? Well, thank you,
Speaker 1: by I appreciate all three of you. Thanks, ladies, bye
Speaker 1: bye bye by bye. Yeah, she's great. I need to
Speaker 1: I'm amazigning Asa so semi fan girl inside because you
Speaker 1: know this. I don't think you know this, but my
Speaker 1: I was going to go to school because I wanted
Speaker 1: to be an anger woman. Oh, like I wanted to
Speaker 1: be Diane Sawyer so badly. Oh you'd be good at that.
Speaker 1: You're a digger. You're kind of fan girling ever a
Speaker 1: little bit. Yeah, so cool, I know I would be.
Speaker 1: It was fun though I sometimes and I know this
Speaker 1: is like unfair, but like sometimes when people are in
Speaker 1: that profession, I'm actually I feel so excited for her
Speaker 1: that she went in a different direction, because she's just
Speaker 1: so much more than just that. Like she's so much yeah,
Speaker 1: like a good soul. Well I think too, like when
Speaker 1: people pivot, it's interesting something she said, Like I remember
Speaker 1: being out on the road with Jolie and being like,
Speaker 1: this isn't this isn't what I want. Now, Luckily I
Speaker 1: was able to kind of pivot. But a lot of
Speaker 1: people that's just their one thing, you know, and whichever
Speaker 1: avenue you go, I mean you you know you're is
Speaker 1: not the wrong decision, but by any means, but um,
Speaker 1: it's just interesting. Like I like how because sometimes I
Speaker 1: feel like, oh my god, what am I doing? But
Speaker 1: it's like, okay, it's okay to change a season, find
Speaker 1: something else, you know, like this is the pivot different things.
Speaker 1: I needed it. I needed it more than I knew
Speaker 1: I needed it, and I knew I needed it because
Speaker 1: I was just at home, you know, like and it's
Speaker 1: so amazing. But there's even guilt that comes with me
Speaker 1: going like I don't think this is enough for me. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know, like I love raising them, I love cooking,
Speaker 1: I love all the things, but I also am just
Speaker 1: like but I also am just more than a toilet scrubber,
Speaker 1: you know, Like I needed a moment for myself a maid. Honey,
Speaker 1: oh honey, nobody wants to clean like I clean. I'm
Speaker 1: really yeah, oh really see, I'm like, I don't need
Speaker 1: a lot of people that are that OCD about cleaning.
Speaker 1: Can't have a clean people? Yeah yeah, oh yeah. And
Speaker 1: then I hated the one Sarah gave me, so that
Speaker 1: an't work. If you ever do, I really do mind
Speaker 1: the fact that they think they're interior designers and they
Speaker 1: like to move. I can't see my threads clothing like
Speaker 1: I like, you just pick it up dust and just
Speaker 1: talk about this. So asking for help and I do
Speaker 1: it ourselves. I tell you a funny story really quick,
Speaker 1: and I promise this is a short. But this has
Speaker 1: to do with it. I had a cleaning lady come
Speaker 1: in January because I was like, Okay, I can do this,
Speaker 1: I can ask for help. I've got to start taking
Speaker 1: things off my plate. Yeah, I assume because I'm a
Speaker 1: stay at home mom, I have to do it all
Speaker 1: and if I don't, then I'm failing. Blah. Okay, So
Speaker 1: now okay, So so this is I hope funny. Okay.
Speaker 1: So I have a little urn with my dad, A
Speaker 1: part of my dad. He's on my he's on my
Speaker 1: living room shelf and I'm smiling only because this gets
Speaker 1: funny and my dad would actually appreciate this story. But
Speaker 1: so the cleaning lady has come and my dad is missing,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, listen, you can move a friend
Speaker 1: and like it's fine, but like you've lost my Like,
Speaker 1: where's my dad? Has anybody seen my dad? I did
Speaker 1: find him. He was talked in a tiny corner and
Speaker 1: I was like, they just I don't think they knew
Speaker 1: what I didn't. I don't think they knew he's in there.
Speaker 1: But I was like, this is why I can't do this.
Speaker 1: I just moved the frame and don't put it back.
Speaker 1: But you've moved my dad. You've misplaced my Dad's like
Speaker 1: my lesson learned. I was like, so that's the last
Speaker 1: time I had someone January fourth, No, okay, that's turn
Speaker 1: well on that note to laugh about something, super glue
Speaker 1: the urns down and dropped the guilt. Yes. I love you, guys,
Speaker 1: I love you so much.