WEBVTT - The Struggle is Real 0:00:01.880 --> 0:00:05.320 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast. 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:10.920 All Right, so everybody knows that we live in Nashville 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:15.520 and the tragic events that took place at the Covenant 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:22.799 Christians School just last week, and we obviously want to 0:00:22.800 --> 0:00:26.040 address as it not only hits close to home, but 0:00:26.040 --> 0:00:31.480 we were all mothers and we our hearts and our 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:34.400 prayers and our thoughts go out to all the families affected. 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:41.159 And it's just it's an absolute tragedy. And I just 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:43.920 again I said this the other day, but I I 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:47.360 just it's so unfair that any child and Kat we 0:00:47.360 --> 0:00:49.080 were kind of talking about this, like your kids are 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:55.680 actually accustomed to this. They're like, oh yeah, desensitized, desensitized. 0:00:55.840 --> 0:00:58.840 It's so sad. It's like, no kids should fear going 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:02.240 to school, and we shouldn't have to fear like saying, 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:05.160 you know, pick not picking them up, and like even 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:06.880 when I said the boye of the kids today dropping 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:09.679 them off, I'm like, and I know, KB, You're like, 0:01:09.920 --> 0:01:14.720 you didn't bring your kids to school for a few Yeah, 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:22.199 still not going to school. Yeah, I'll just cry. It's hard. Yeah, 0:01:23.200 --> 0:01:27.520 And it's just not fair. I also have the luxury 0:01:27.520 --> 0:01:29.160 of keeping them home, which I know not a lot 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:33.720 of people do so, and I don't want to live 0:01:33.720 --> 0:01:35.560 out of fear, but I also am just trying to 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:40.400 like navigate big feelings. On a side note, big hormones 0:01:40.440 --> 0:01:45.800 because it makes me really anxious, but keeping them home 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:48.520 it just feels like what I need to do right now. 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:51.040 So that's what we're doing. Having the talk with Love 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:55.160 who's seven, I want to, like, I want her to 0:01:55.240 --> 0:01:57.160 hear a version of it from me and not from 0:01:57.200 --> 0:02:01.760 peers or friends or whatever. I know she's overhearing things 0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:03.559 and she has this unique way of trying to figure 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:06.480 things out for herself, and she doesn't have the brain 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:08.959 developmentally at seven to try to figure this out, because 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:11.519 I barely have the brain at forty one to developmentally 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:15.600 figure this out. So it's just hard and it's just 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:17.920 not fair, like we shouldn't we shouldn't have to be 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:21.079 doing this. Well, it's the thing. I think I've struggled 0:02:21.080 --> 0:02:22.480 with that piece of it, because when I picked up 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:26.120 Jolie when I got home from California, I said, hey, baby, 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:28.360 I just didn't know how to even go about it, 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:31.680 but I said, did you have you heard anything you 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:33.480 want to talk to mommy about? And She's like, what, 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:34.880 what do you mean. I go, I don't know, like 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:39.200 maybe about like another school, and she goes, what No, 0:02:39.520 --> 0:02:43.160 And truthfully, I just was like, Okay, we'll just let 0:02:43.200 --> 0:02:44.840 Mommy know if you did, because I just was like, 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:46.720 I don't even want to like scare I don't want 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:48.760 to put that into her now. I didn't talk to 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:50.760 Ramsey about it. I only talked to the older kids. 0:02:51.480 --> 0:02:54.880 Emmy had not heard the middle school Caden. They definitely 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:57.400 they the teachers. Some of the teachers kind of talk 0:02:57.440 --> 0:02:58.880 to them about it throughout the day. I think they 0:02:58.880 --> 0:03:01.320 took they kind already take their phones, but they took 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:03.080 their phones even more kind of kept them from their 0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:07.000 phones from seeing things that day. And I talked to 0:03:07.040 --> 0:03:08.840 Emmy about it, but I didn't talk to Ramsey about it. 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:12.359 She's seven, okay. I mean I think that that's a 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:14.840 that's a parental decision, and I think that that's a 0:03:14.919 --> 0:03:18.720 hard one, you know, it's you know, whereas my older 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:21.480 kids are a little desensitized to it, Ramsey is not yet, 0:03:21.520 --> 0:03:25.480 And so I also didn't want to scare her either. Sure, 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:28.880 I think it's difficult too, because there's so many things 0:03:28.919 --> 0:03:32.280 that I just remember. I sent Catherine a text. I'm like, 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:35.520 you know, I want to say this because I just 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:39.160 don't understand why. And it's just, you know, seeing kind 0:03:39.160 --> 0:03:41.600 of how social media and people saying things that just 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:45.360 there's such then a war on social media with people 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:47.600 fighting well no it's this, No, it's this, No, it's this, 0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:49.640 And I'm like, it's all of it in my opinion, 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:52.200 Like it's like there needs to be changed, and there 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:55.600 needs to be I think a certain level of gun reform, 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:58.120 and I don't know why we need a fifteens and 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:00.440 I would like security at schools, and I would I 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:03.200 believe we need more God, and I believe we need 0:04:03.240 --> 0:04:05.360 to have something to help with mental health. Like I 0:04:05.400 --> 0:04:07.560 think there's just so much and it's just like I 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:09.680 kind of feel like a small fish and a big 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:12.400 gass ocean, Like I don't know, and we're just widening 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:15.440 the gap with those kind of dialogues and the frustration 0:04:15.480 --> 0:04:18.360 and the fighting. I'm like, we're just doing what this 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:22.520 is driven to do to us, instead of going in 0:04:22.560 --> 0:04:25.159 the opposite direction and like linking arms and going I 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:29.280 hear you, I understand, I agree, or you know, like 0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:33.000 it's it's like we just keep widening such a finger pointing. Yes, well, 0:04:33.000 --> 0:04:35.120 we're letting evil win. I know, the dark, you know, 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:37.720 like you're just you're letting it in when you fight, 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:40.919 you know, Yeah, there was already. I actually had therapy 0:04:41.000 --> 0:04:46.680 the day after the shooting, and and Amy is very 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:49.880 protective of me anyways, because in my childhood anyway, She's like, 0:04:49.920 --> 0:04:52.159 you've already had to deal with too much too soon. 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:55.680 So and she talked to me about the cortisol levels 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:59.000 and third trimester pregnancy and effects of baby on the baby, 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:00.720 and so she was like, I need just you know, 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:04.320 like we need to manage that for you. But I 0:05:04.360 --> 0:05:06.000 told her, I was like I just don't know what 0:05:06.080 --> 0:05:08.880 to do. And so I just made my kids dinner 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:10.600 and we took a walk. And she was like, those 0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:14.840 are all really good things. And she said sometimes sometimes 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:17.000 in this like everyone is like, you know, you do this, 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:19.600 call your senator, do these things. She was like, absolutely, 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:21.280 do those things if you feel called to do those things. 0:05:21.360 --> 0:05:25.880 But also just really take care of yourself. I have 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:29.640 another Amy therapist friend who said there's a role for 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:33.040 everybody in what happens post tragedy, So you shouldn't be 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:34.960 hard on yourself because you're not doing one thing or 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:37.640 not doing another, like we're not well. People go in 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:39.520 your DMS go why are you speaking about this? Why 0:05:39.520 --> 0:05:41.839 are you saying this? And it's it's like a yeah, 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:45.000 And I'm also just like, kindly give me a minute, 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:46.800 Like we're trying to process as a family. This is 0:05:46.880 --> 0:05:49.719 right up the street. You know, it had been noted 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:52.440 that other schools had been targeted too, and that that 0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:55.400 was on the agenda. So like, that's a lot to 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:58.840 take in. We've we just there's just a lot that 0:05:58.960 --> 0:06:02.680 people don't know that we're all also sorting through and 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:05.360 we all know somebody that went to that school or 0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:08.160 somebody of somebody, so we're trying to find names and 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:10.039 faces and we're trying to figure out who it was, 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:16.800 and just you know, a lot to take in. And 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:19.160 I just want to say again, we shouldn't have to 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:22.560 take it in and we're not supposed to be experts 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:25.800 at this because it's not fair. Yeah, and I'd like 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:28.479 to have, you know, dropped the kids off and not 0:06:28.839 --> 0:06:32.640 be like them threatened or like gosh am I going 0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:34.840 to pick them up? Like they just and even the 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:37.440 kids they got there at school. Right now, I'm just yeah, exactly, 0:06:37.760 --> 0:06:41.320 they had to witness as just shouldn't be happening. I 0:06:41.400 --> 0:06:43.000 would I wouldn't want to go to school. I'd have 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:44.680 so much anxiety if that was happening. When I was 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:47.440 a kid, I remember even after Vegas, I didn't go 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:49.560 to shows for a long time. After the Vegas shooting. 0:06:49.720 --> 0:06:51.840 There was a kid with brass knuckles that got into 0:06:51.839 --> 0:06:53.320 a big fight in my school, and I remember being 0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:56.440 like traumatized. Can you imagine what these kids have to 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:58.240 deal with now? It's just not okay. Do you remember 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:01.520 being in high school in Columbine how? Yeah, Oh, because 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:04.160 I remember that because our high school was very similar 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:07.120 to Columbine and saying we had a lot of that's 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:09.240 when kind of like all the drills kind of started 0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:12.000 and they started like working on stuff. So I remember 0:07:12.040 --> 0:07:15.000 that very vividly. Yeah. One thing that kind of hit 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:16.840 home for me is how I know that we've were 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:22.200 at past a point is reading that that today's active 0:07:22.200 --> 0:07:26.880 shooters went through active shooter like drills as elementary kids. 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:32.280 It's a good point. Yeah, heavy, heavy, heavy, I know. 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:35.200 And there's a lot of things going around, you know, 0:07:35.280 --> 0:07:40.080 saying prayers, aren't you know, um, we need more than prayers. 0:07:40.120 --> 0:07:46.320 But I believe healing happens with prayer, and I feel 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:48.640 that we all need a little bit more of it. 0:07:48.720 --> 0:07:52.800 So man, um, we will be you know, we are 0:07:52.840 --> 0:07:57.760 sending our prayers and condolences and uh it's yeah, it's 0:07:57.960 --> 0:08:01.640 it's awful. So to address that, obviously we have to 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:04.800 move on with the show. Um, So we will do 0:08:04.840 --> 0:08:22.520 that after the break in other news. Um, I don't 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:24.960 know if I'm actually supposed to share this information, but 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:28.920 I'm going to. Anyways, why do you do it? And 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:31.040 if it has to get cut, it has to get cut. 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:34.960 Hey Jackie, will you put on your camera? Bab uh 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:41.040 poor thing? What's going on? Bhi? So we're gonna we're 0:08:41.040 --> 0:08:44.920 gonna lighten this up a little. Um our sweet Jackie 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:57.319 is like that. Hi guys. Yes, So on Kristen, when 0:08:57.360 --> 0:09:00.400 you're like oh, I was like me too. I'm only 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:03.600 like two months a long how far? How far along 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:07.560 are you now? Was it my seventeenth week? And so 0:09:07.640 --> 0:09:12.680 I told Jana on Monday in La So, um, yeah, 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:15.000 I'm still like I'm showing a little bit but not 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:17.960 too much. But I'm do September third, and this is 0:09:17.960 --> 0:09:25.960 your first yes from cute I feel good. First trimester 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:28.600 was really hard because it's like nausea and everything, you 0:09:28.600 --> 0:09:32.720 know how it is that's good, that's healthy. Yeah. Yeah, 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:34.720 And I've felm feel a little bit more more like 0:09:34.800 --> 0:09:38.480 myself this trimester and um, and I just kept it 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:40.679 a little bit like to myself because I wanted to 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:44.160 get through the first trimester because I'm like thirty seven. 0:09:44.240 --> 0:09:45.880 You know how they tell you after thirty five. I 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:47.600 just want to make sure it's stock, you know, like 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:51.720 you know how that is in my head. I was 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:54.040 in my head a little bit about that. But yeah, 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:58.120 it's it's it's so crazy how they Because I was 0:09:58.559 --> 0:10:00.640 talking to somebody else, I mean, Chris, and you're what 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:04.400 forty one? My mom? I was talking to my mom 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:06.920 earlier and she's she was saying something about her one 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:09.520 friend and I remember her. She she was like forty 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:11.199 and then forty three when she had her next one. 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:13.760 And Emma, my makeup artist in Los Angeles, like she 0:10:13.840 --> 0:10:16.360 had her baby at forty three, and it's like women 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:18.760 feel like they have And I was thinking about that too, 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:23.320 because when I was, uh, what, you know, dating my ex, 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:25.120 it was like, oh God, I have to get pregnant. 0:10:25.120 --> 0:10:27.640 It's like, no, you actually have more time than you think. 0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:29.680 They just put so much pressure and and it's true 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:31.960 the eggs and all that stuff do get whatever, like, 0:10:32.200 --> 0:10:34.280 but you can still get pregnant and you can still 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:39.959 have a healthy pregnancy. So congratulation, so excited for you. 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:45.040 It's the baby boy. And oh yeah, I'm excited. I 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:51.000 hope he has your cheeks, Jackie, little diffalls are everything 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:55.480 so cute. Well, congrats so much. We're so excited for 0:10:55.520 --> 0:10:58.640 You're right here for all the advice. Oh I know, 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:03.280 with the gadgets you don't need and all the gadgets 0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:06.600 you do. Yeah, I'm so grateful too, because like im 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:09.400 all my friends are on their second kid, and you know, 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:13.800 like the community of mama's Like it's so beautiful to 0:11:13.880 --> 0:11:17.840 me because it's like I'm I'm an auntie of five, 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:20.480 so like I can take care of like the kids 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:22.560 and all that. But it's like stepping into something else 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:25.360 like that. It is a little scary. But the community 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:27.760 mamas is so beautiful and I love it. I love it. 0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:32.080 And speaking of mama's, we have on Paula Faris, I 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:34.760 want to read a little what was it called insert 0:11:35.440 --> 0:11:38.800 about her? Like so many mothers who were forced out 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:41.040 of their jobs during the pandemic. Ferris lost her as 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:43.280 at ABC News in twenty twenty. It was then she 0:11:43.400 --> 0:11:45.280 knew she wanted to create a better way forward for 0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:48.720 working moms, Moms who are tired of the constant conflict 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:52.760 between working and momming, a feeling that they're failing everyone everywhere, 0:11:53.240 --> 0:11:56.520 of facing the gender disparities and workplaces that treat mothers 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:58.960 like risks instead of assets, end of dealing with the 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:02.280 exhaustion of trying to carry it all. Ferris, is self 0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:06.160 described advocate for Mom's, launched Carry Media in twenty twenty 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:09.760 two to champion working mom through resources, content and storytelling. 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:12.840 And I just I love that. So she she has 0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:15.280 a new book that's out. You don't have to carry 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:17.160 it all, ditch the mom guilt and find a better 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:19.560 way forward. And I think for me, one of the 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:23.880 biggest quotes that I've said, I was like, I don't 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:25.800 want to have to carry it all. That's what I've 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:28.760 the constant thing that I felt in my marriage, being 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:32.600 a single mom. You know, it's like that, just feeling 0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:36.320 like I have to carry it all. It's overwhelming. Well, 0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:38.280 it's exhausting. I actually thought of you as I was 0:12:38.320 --> 0:12:43.040 reading about Paula. I was like, I just I thought 0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:45.440 about like the million hats you wear and the pressure 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:47.559 that you feel and all the things. I mean, both 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:50.079 of you do such a great job. I feel like 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:52.160 get balancing. I mean, I'm a full time stay at 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:53.920 home mom, so I just need to like clear that up. 0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:56.120 I'm not I can do things, but I don't have 0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:59.320 to do things, which is also a luxury. But I 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:01.120 thought of both of you and how well you balance 0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:02.920 both of it. But just like the pressure of having 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:05.600 to work too, Like I don't have to respond to 0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:08.720 anyone right away. This is really my only job and 0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:10.520 it's not even a job. I just show up at 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:12.720 my friend's house. I mean, but that's hard too. I 0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:16.160 think it's like each aspect is difficult. I mean, you know, 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:18.600 with sure my situations, like I feel like I have 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:19.839 to because I'm like, well, I have to pay for 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:23.120 child support. I have to have the roof over their heads. 0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:25.160 I have to. I don't have to, but I you know, 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:27.720 I get to, right, But it's also that pressure that's 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:30.800 it's a lot. It's a lot, and then you know, 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:33.480 I just so I carry that on top of like, Okay, 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:37.120 a career that's so freaking unstable. Any I was just 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:40.760 doing an audition earlier with my boyfriend and I was like, whatever, 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:42.280 I don't I'm just like I'm not even gonna get it. 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:44.679 And he's like, well, that attitude, you know what I mean, 0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:48.599 because I don't like coach Allen and that's not a 0:13:48.880 --> 0:13:51.520 winning attitude hard because you just like sometimes I'm just 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:53.040 like I don't and I don't want to work this 0:13:53.080 --> 0:13:55.319 hard sometimes, Like I know, I would like to just 0:13:55.400 --> 0:14:01.640 be supported too, you know, in a financial aspect, it's 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:03.839 because it's a lot. It is a lot. I mean, Kat, 0:14:03.880 --> 0:14:05.120 I know you were kind of dealing with that a 0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:07.240 little bit with Yeah. I mean that pressure is so 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:09.800 different though, like that pressure of having to provide for 0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:14.600 your family versus you know, being married and then having 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:17.240 a job and having that pressure. It's different. I mean 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:20.280 I don't have the pressure. I know at the end 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:22.880 of the day, if I lost my job, or if 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:24.800 I needed to quit my job, or if I didn't 0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:27.160 have a job, I would still be supported. So that 0:14:27.320 --> 0:14:30.720 is very, very different than what you have to deal with. 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:34.040 That pressure is a whole different pressure. But yes, I 0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:38.080 have worked pretty much my entire motherhood. And I just 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:40.800 think that, you know, balance is key, you know, I mean, 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:43.160 that's just balance is key. That's all I can say, 0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:47.280 you know. But the pressure of having to provide, that's 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:56.680 that's a whole other level. Yeah, so let's get let's 0:14:56.680 --> 0:15:12.320 get paul on No, sorry, I thought it was one thirty. 0:15:13.360 --> 0:15:17.440 Don't you carry that guilt. It's okay, drop the guilt. 0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:23.760 Drop the guilt, baby, it's time Lately, moms can make 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:27.200 mistakes sometimes because we've got a million things we're doing. 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:30.760 Apologies again, you can't be late here. It's all good. 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:36.240 Don't You're like you're dead to me. This is like 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:40.640 the most understanding group of women ever. Like if there 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:42.720 was ever a place where you could come in late, 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:46.840 this is it. So yeah, and we're all moms too, 0:15:46.920 --> 0:15:49.120 so we and we were just kind of talking about 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:51.000 to your book because I was, I was, you know, 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:52.640 telling the girls and they know this and I know 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:55.920 we all feel this, but like, honestly, the quote that 0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:58.080 I feel like that I've said a million times over 0:15:58.080 --> 0:16:00.240 and over, that's like plastered on my forehead as I like, 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:02.200 I don't want to carry this all the time, Like 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:03.840 I feel like I have to carry it all the time, 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:07.240 and it just becomes um, you know what. We all 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:09.640 feel that in different situations, right, So like mine's on 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:12.280 like the single mom's side, you know, having to support 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:14.840 my kids, pay child support, do all those things while 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:18.200 still trying to have a career. So like that struggle. 0:16:18.200 --> 0:16:20.360 And then you know she's got you know, she's a 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:22.560 traveling husband who's gone like at least two hundred nights 0:16:22.560 --> 0:16:24.360 a year with a seven year old was a deep 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:26.680 feeler and a four year old boy who's Will Ferrell. 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:31.480 And so I'm and I'm pregnant one. Oh my gosh, congratulations. 0:16:31.680 --> 0:16:33.760 It's really a feat but yeah, just like I felt 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:35.120 it the other day, like I was like, how do 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:38.160 I carry all these emotions? It's different, but it's a 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:41.240 different responsibility. And then we've got Cat too, who's got 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:44.520 you know, kids going into almost high school. I don't 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:48.280 remind me, it's just it's busy. It's a lot. How 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:56.720 old are yours? Cat? Mine are fourteen? Eleven and seven? Okay, okay, fourteen, 0:16:56.720 --> 0:17:00.600 Oh my gosh, fourteen, I'm reading this down. Eleven and seven, Joanna? 0:17:00.640 --> 0:17:03.480 How old is your seven and four? Little one? We 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:05.359 keep it real tight. Over here. We have a season. 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:11.159 We just text each other. Okay, so wait, so seven 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:15.320 and four both of us. Yeah, that's our girls are 0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:17.560 three weeks apart and our boys are three months apart. 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:20.320 Like we definitely are like, okay, we're having a baby. Okay, great, 0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:24.520 hands in on three except for the third you're like, okay, 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:27.600 we're done. Yeah, someone some of us bow out and 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:30.439 that's just fine, and some of us going to biblical proportions. 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:35.280 It's fine. Okay. I have a fifteen a thirteen, I'm like, 0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:40.200 how old are they not? Fifteen thirteen and just turned nine. Yeah. 0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:43.480 It's fun. It's fun, and it gets like it gets better. 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:47.600 It's a different type of exhausting though, That's what I've heard. 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:50.399 So yeah, how and how long have you been married? For? 0:17:51.800 --> 0:17:55.480 Um going on twenty three years. I'm married my college sweethearts, 0:17:55.720 --> 0:17:58.480 very good for years. It's a very like small Christian 0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:01.560 school thing to do, right, So that's cute. I did 0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:05.080 that one too. Yeah, see, and how did that work out? 0:18:05.119 --> 0:18:07.640 I have like like half of my friends are divorced, right, Yeah, 0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:10.159 I got because you guys, it was crazy. So I 0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:12.879 went to a real small conservative Christian school and the 0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:15.320 joke was that everyone was there to get their Mrs. Degree. 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:19.600 Oh I was in thirteen weddings by the time I 0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:22.240 got married at the riple age of twenty four. Wow, 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:24.480 I was like the old maid of the group to 0:18:24.560 --> 0:18:28.240 get married. So that crazy, that's crazy. It's just times 0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:31.520 are a change in and with the josh the you know, 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:34.720 the job that you have and also had, you know, 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:37.800 being on TV. And was your husband, I mean, was 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:42.200 he so supportive and he still felt that guilt? He okay, 0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:46.320 So you know, I write in the book that you know, 0:18:46.400 --> 0:18:48.760 my story of spousal equity was kind of a rarity, 0:18:49.400 --> 0:18:52.959 especially in those conservative circles. You know. My husband was 0:18:53.440 --> 0:18:55.840 a college basketball coach when we first got married and 0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:59.240 loved coaching, and then my career started taking off. And 0:18:59.640 --> 0:19:01.639 when my career was taking off, he said, let's go 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:05.120 for this. He was super supportive, and so he gave 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:08.720 up his career coaching basketball to follow mine. But of course, 0:19:08.760 --> 0:19:11.400 you know, it was a joint decision. But we moved 0:19:11.440 --> 0:19:14.280 from Ohio to Chicago and then to New York, and 0:19:14.440 --> 0:19:17.159 every time I got a promotion, he's like, let's go 0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:20.000 for it. So but that's an exception, you know, like 0:19:20.040 --> 0:19:23.560 I say, my story of spousal equity is definitely an exception. 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:28.560 But he's always been really supportive, really really supportive, and 0:19:28.600 --> 0:19:30.600 it's cool to see how it's all come back around 0:19:30.640 --> 0:19:33.879 since I left TV News. You know, coaching has always 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:37.159 been his first love and he still has a like 0:19:37.200 --> 0:19:40.240 a day to day regular job. He's in commercial real estate, 0:19:40.840 --> 0:19:44.080 but he coaches at one of the area high schools 0:19:44.359 --> 0:19:46.400 he was asked to coach, and he's also coaching one 0:19:46.440 --> 0:19:49.520 of the travel sports teams basketball teams. So it's all 0:19:49.600 --> 0:19:53.000 kind of come back, which is really cool. Do you 0:19:53.040 --> 0:19:56.640 miss being on TV and anchoring? You know, it's still 0:19:56.640 --> 0:20:00.640 funny people ask me that I have a new appreciation, 0:20:01.200 --> 0:20:02.960 Like when I went back to New York for my 0:20:03.040 --> 0:20:06.040 media tour, I have a new appreciation for New York 0:20:06.080 --> 0:20:08.240 and all of that represents as a tourist now that 0:20:08.280 --> 0:20:11.800 I'm on the other side, I missed. There are certain 0:20:11.840 --> 0:20:17.240 aspects of it that I missed, the storytelling, you know, 0:20:17.320 --> 0:20:20.960 the fast paced aspect of it. But I really love 0:20:21.080 --> 0:20:24.639 this new season and I love what I'm doing, the 0:20:24.680 --> 0:20:27.479 work that I'm doing to champion moms, working moms and 0:20:27.560 --> 0:20:30.399 advocating for them, and I love being able to be 0:20:30.440 --> 0:20:33.359 really present with my kids. So you know, it's like 0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:36.919 when you romanticize the situation and have nostalgia. Like my 0:20:36.960 --> 0:20:38.840 husband and I were just talking about it, and I'm like, 0:20:39.200 --> 0:20:41.520 you know, sometimes there are moments I miss it, but 0:20:41.600 --> 0:20:44.120 I'm like, I miss the feeling, but I don't really 0:20:44.119 --> 0:20:46.560 miss the reality of it when you really think about it, 0:20:46.760 --> 0:20:49.800 the reality of getting up early, not seeing my kids, 0:20:49.880 --> 0:20:52.199 you know, missing out on all the important moments that 0:20:52.240 --> 0:20:55.680 I wanted to to be part of. So and that's 0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:57.880 just natural. But I really love where I am right now. 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:00.720 I really do. Does it feel like you it's supplemented 0:21:00.760 --> 0:21:02.960 in those moments of like missing those pieces. Do you 0:21:02.960 --> 0:21:05.360 get supplemented with watching him be able to step more 0:21:05.440 --> 0:21:08.280 back into his role of things he loves to do 0:21:08.280 --> 0:21:12.080 that's passionate and like being with the kids. Yeah, yeah, 0:21:12.080 --> 0:21:15.240 for sure. And it's cool just to see how you know, 0:21:15.280 --> 0:21:18.159 we totally blew up our lives at the beginning of 0:21:18.200 --> 0:21:21.120 the pandemic and I left TV News. We both left 0:21:21.880 --> 0:21:25.280 New York City, moved to a small town in South Carolina, 0:21:25.359 --> 0:21:28.000 and what we weren't really sure like the next what 0:21:28.160 --> 0:21:29.760 was going to be in the next chapter, But we 0:21:29.880 --> 0:21:32.320 just we just knew that this was what we were 0:21:32.320 --> 0:21:35.720 supposed to do. And it's like we're both super fulfilled. 0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:40.679 Our kids are really thriving now, and it life's different. 0:21:40.720 --> 0:21:43.360