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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast.

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Speaker 1: All Right, so everybody knows that we live in Nashville

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Speaker 1: and the tragic events that took place at the Covenant

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Speaker 1: Christians School just last week, and we obviously want to

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Speaker 1: address as it not only hits close to home, but

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Speaker 1: we were all mothers and we our hearts and our

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Speaker 1: prayers and our thoughts go out to all the families affected.

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Speaker 1: And it's just it's an absolute tragedy. And I just

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Speaker 1: again I said this the other day, but I I

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Speaker 1: just it's so unfair that any child and Kat we

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Speaker 1: were kind of talking about this, like your kids are

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Speaker 1: actually accustomed to this. They're like, oh yeah, desensitized, desensitized.

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Speaker 1: It's so sad. It's like, no kids should fear going

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Speaker 1: to school, and we shouldn't have to fear like saying,

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Speaker 1: you know, pick not picking them up, and like even

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Speaker 1: when I said the boye of the kids today dropping

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Speaker 1: them off, I'm like, and I know, KB, You're like,

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Speaker 1: you didn't bring your kids to school for a few Yeah,

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Speaker 1: still not going to school. Yeah, I'll just cry. It's hard. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And it's just not fair. I also have the luxury

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Speaker 1: of keeping them home, which I know not a lot

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Speaker 1: of people do so, and I don't want to live

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Speaker 1: out of fear, but I also am just trying to

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Speaker 1: like navigate big feelings. On a side note, big hormones

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Speaker 1: because it makes me really anxious, but keeping them home

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Speaker 1: it just feels like what I need to do right now.

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Speaker 1: So that's what we're doing. Having the talk with Love

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Speaker 1: who's seven, I want to, like, I want her to

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Speaker 1: hear a version of it from me and not from

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Speaker 1: peers or friends or whatever. I know she's overhearing things

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Speaker 1: and she has this unique way of trying to figure

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Speaker 1: things out for herself, and she doesn't have the brain

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Speaker 1: developmentally at seven to try to figure this out, because

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Speaker 1: I barely have the brain at forty one to developmentally

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Speaker 1: figure this out. So it's just hard and it's just

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Speaker 1: not fair, like we shouldn't we shouldn't have to be

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Speaker 1: doing this. Well, it's the thing. I think I've struggled

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Speaker 1: with that piece of it, because when I picked up

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Speaker 1: Jolie when I got home from California, I said, hey, baby,

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Speaker 1: I just didn't know how to even go about it,

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Speaker 1: but I said, did you have you heard anything you

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Speaker 1: want to talk to mommy about? And She's like, what,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean. I go, I don't know, like

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Speaker 1: maybe about like another school, and she goes, what No,

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Speaker 1: And truthfully, I just was like, Okay, we'll just let

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Speaker 1: Mommy know if you did, because I just was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't even want to like scare I don't want

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Speaker 1: to put that into her now. I didn't talk to

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Speaker 1: Ramsey about it. I only talked to the older kids.

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Speaker 1: Emmy had not heard the middle school Caden. They definitely

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Speaker 1: they the teachers. Some of the teachers kind of talk

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Speaker 1: to them about it throughout the day. I think they

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Speaker 1: took they kind already take their phones, but they took

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Speaker 1: their phones even more kind of kept them from their

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Speaker 1: phones from seeing things that day. And I talked to

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Speaker 1: Emmy about it, but I didn't talk to Ramsey about it.

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Speaker 1: She's seven, okay. I mean I think that that's a

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Speaker 1: that's a parental decision, and I think that that's a

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Speaker 1: hard one, you know, it's you know, whereas my older

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Speaker 1: kids are a little desensitized to it, Ramsey is not yet,

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Speaker 1: And so I also didn't want to scare her either. Sure,

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Speaker 1: I think it's difficult too, because there's so many things

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Speaker 1: that I just remember. I sent Catherine a text. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I want to say this because I just

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Speaker 1: don't understand why. And it's just, you know, seeing kind

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Speaker 1: of how social media and people saying things that just

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Speaker 1: there's such then a war on social media with people

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Speaker 1: fighting well no it's this, No, it's this, No, it's this,

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, it's all of it in my opinion,

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Speaker 1: Like it's like there needs to be changed, and there

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Speaker 1: needs to be I think a certain level of gun reform,

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Speaker 1: and I don't know why we need a fifteens and

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Speaker 1: I would like security at schools, and I would I

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Speaker 1: believe we need more God, and I believe we need

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Speaker 1: to have something to help with mental health. Like I

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Speaker 1: think there's just so much and it's just like I

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Speaker 1: kind of feel like a small fish and a big

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Speaker 1: gass ocean, Like I don't know, and we're just widening

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Speaker 1: the gap with those kind of dialogues and the frustration

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Speaker 1: and the fighting. I'm like, we're just doing what this

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Speaker 1: is driven to do to us, instead of going in

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Speaker 1: the opposite direction and like linking arms and going I

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Speaker 1: hear you, I understand, I agree, or you know, like

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Speaker 1: it's it's like we just keep widening such a finger pointing. Yes, well,

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Speaker 1: we're letting evil win. I know, the dark, you know,

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Speaker 1: like you're just you're letting it in when you fight,

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Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, there was already. I actually had therapy

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Speaker 1: the day after the shooting, and and Amy is very

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Speaker 1: protective of me anyways, because in my childhood anyway, She's like,

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Speaker 1: you've already had to deal with too much too soon.

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Speaker 1: So and she talked to me about the cortisol levels

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Speaker 1: and third trimester pregnancy and effects of baby on the baby,

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Speaker 1: and so she was like, I need just you know,

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Speaker 1: like we need to manage that for you. But I

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Speaker 1: told her, I was like I just don't know what

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Speaker 1: to do. And so I just made my kids dinner

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Speaker 1: and we took a walk. And she was like, those

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Speaker 1: are all really good things. And she said sometimes sometimes

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Speaker 1: in this like everyone is like, you know, you do this,

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Speaker 1: call your senator, do these things. She was like, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: do those things if you feel called to do those things.

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Speaker 1: But also just really take care of yourself. I have

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Speaker 1: another Amy therapist friend who said there's a role for

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Speaker 1: everybody in what happens post tragedy, So you shouldn't be

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Speaker 1: hard on yourself because you're not doing one thing or

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Speaker 1: not doing another, like we're not well. People go in

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Speaker 1: your DMS go why are you speaking about this? Why

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Speaker 1: are you saying this? And it's it's like a yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I'm also just like, kindly give me a minute,

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Speaker 1: Like we're trying to process as a family. This is

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Speaker 1: right up the street. You know, it had been noted

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Speaker 1: that other schools had been targeted too, and that that

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Speaker 1: was on the agenda. So like, that's a lot to

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Speaker 1: take in. We've we just there's just a lot that

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Speaker 1: people don't know that we're all also sorting through and

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Speaker 1: we all know somebody that went to that school or

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Speaker 1: somebody of somebody, so we're trying to find names and

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Speaker 1: faces and we're trying to figure out who it was,

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Speaker 1: and just you know, a lot to take in. And

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Speaker 1: I just want to say again, we shouldn't have to

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Speaker 1: take it in and we're not supposed to be experts

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Speaker 1: at this because it's not fair. Yeah, and I'd like

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Speaker 1: to have, you know, dropped the kids off and not

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Speaker 1: be like them threatened or like gosh am I going

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Speaker 1: to pick them up? Like they just and even the

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Speaker 1: kids they got there at school. Right now, I'm just yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: they had to witness as just shouldn't be happening. I

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Speaker 1: would I wouldn't want to go to school. I'd have

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Speaker 1: so much anxiety if that was happening. When I was

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Speaker 1: a kid, I remember even after Vegas, I didn't go

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Speaker 1: to shows for a long time. After the Vegas shooting.

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Speaker 1: There was a kid with brass knuckles that got into

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Speaker 1: a big fight in my school, and I remember being

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Speaker 1: like traumatized. Can you imagine what these kids have to

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Speaker 1: deal with now? It's just not okay. Do you remember

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Speaker 1: being in high school in Columbine how? Yeah, Oh, because

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Speaker 1: I remember that because our high school was very similar

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Speaker 1: to Columbine and saying we had a lot of that's

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Speaker 1: when kind of like all the drills kind of started

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Speaker 1: and they started like working on stuff. So I remember

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Speaker 1: that very vividly. Yeah. One thing that kind of hit

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Speaker 1: home for me is how I know that we've were

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Speaker 1: at past a point is reading that that today's active

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Speaker 1: shooters went through active shooter like drills as elementary kids.

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Speaker 1: It's a good point. Yeah, heavy, heavy, heavy, I know.

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Speaker 1: And there's a lot of things going around, you know,

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Speaker 1: saying prayers, aren't you know, um, we need more than prayers.

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Speaker 1: But I believe healing happens with prayer, and I feel

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Speaker 1: that we all need a little bit more of it.

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Speaker 1: So man, um, we will be you know, we are

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Speaker 1: sending our prayers and condolences and uh it's yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: it's awful. So to address that, obviously we have to

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Speaker 1: move on with the show. Um, So we will do

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Speaker 1: that after the break in other news. Um, I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I'm actually supposed to share this information, but

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Speaker 1: I'm going to. Anyways, why do you do it? And

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Speaker 1: if it has to get cut, it has to get cut.

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Speaker 1: Hey Jackie, will you put on your camera? Bab uh

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Speaker 1: poor thing? What's going on? Bhi? So we're gonna we're

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Speaker 1: gonna lighten this up a little. Um our sweet Jackie

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Speaker 1: is like that. Hi guys. Yes, So on Kristen, when

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Speaker 1: you're like oh, I was like me too. I'm only

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Speaker 1: like two months a long how far? How far along

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Speaker 1: are you now? Was it my seventeenth week? And so

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Speaker 1: I told Jana on Monday in La So, um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm still like I'm showing a little bit but not

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Speaker 1: too much. But I'm do September third, and this is

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Speaker 1: your first yes from cute I feel good. First trimester

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Speaker 1: was really hard because it's like nausea and everything, you

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Speaker 1: know how it is that's good, that's healthy. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I've felm feel a little bit more more like

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Speaker 1: myself this trimester and um, and I just kept it

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Speaker 1: a little bit like to myself because I wanted to

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Speaker 1: get through the first trimester because I'm like thirty seven.

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Speaker 1: You know how they tell you after thirty five. I

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Speaker 1: just want to make sure it's stock, you know, like

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Speaker 1: you know how that is in my head. I was

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Speaker 1: in my head a little bit about that. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's it's it's so crazy how they Because I was

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Speaker 1: talking to somebody else, I mean, Chris, and you're what

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Speaker 1: forty one? My mom? I was talking to my mom

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Speaker 1: earlier and she's she was saying something about her one

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Speaker 1: friend and I remember her. She she was like forty

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Speaker 1: and then forty three when she had her next one.

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Speaker 1: And Emma, my makeup artist in Los Angeles, like she

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Speaker 1: had her baby at forty three, and it's like women

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Speaker 1: feel like they have And I was thinking about that too,

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Speaker 1: because when I was, uh, what, you know, dating my ex,

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Speaker 1: it was like, oh God, I have to get pregnant.

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Speaker 1: It's like, no, you actually have more time than you think.

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Speaker 1: They just put so much pressure and and it's true

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Speaker 1: the eggs and all that stuff do get whatever, like,

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Speaker 1: but you can still get pregnant and you can still

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Speaker 1: have a healthy pregnancy. So congratulation, so excited for you.

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Speaker 1: It's the baby boy. And oh yeah, I'm excited. I

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Speaker 1: hope he has your cheeks, Jackie, little diffalls are everything

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Speaker 1: so cute. Well, congrats so much. We're so excited for

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Speaker 1: You're right here for all the advice. Oh I know,

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Speaker 1: with the gadgets you don't need and all the gadgets

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Speaker 1: you do. Yeah, I'm so grateful too, because like im

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Speaker 1: all my friends are on their second kid, and you know,

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Speaker 1: like the community of mama's Like it's so beautiful to

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Speaker 1: me because it's like I'm I'm an auntie of five,

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Speaker 1: so like I can take care of like the kids

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Speaker 1: and all that. But it's like stepping into something else

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Speaker 1: like that. It is a little scary. But the community

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Speaker 1: mamas is so beautiful and I love it. I love it.

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Speaker 1: And speaking of mama's, we have on Paula Faris, I

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Speaker 1: want to read a little what was it called insert

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Speaker 1: about her? Like so many mothers who were forced out

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Speaker 1: of their jobs during the pandemic. Ferris lost her as

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Speaker 1: at ABC News in twenty twenty. It was then she

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Speaker 1: knew she wanted to create a better way forward for

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Speaker 1: working moms, Moms who are tired of the constant conflict

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Speaker 1: between working and momming, a feeling that they're failing everyone everywhere,

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Speaker 1: of facing the gender disparities and workplaces that treat mothers

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Speaker 1: like risks instead of assets, end of dealing with the

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Speaker 1: exhaustion of trying to carry it all. Ferris, is self

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Speaker 1: described advocate for Mom's, launched Carry Media in twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: two to champion working mom through resources, content and storytelling.

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Speaker 1: And I just I love that. So she she has

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Speaker 1: a new book that's out. You don't have to carry

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Speaker 1: it all, ditch the mom guilt and find a better

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Speaker 1: way forward. And I think for me, one of the

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Speaker 1: biggest quotes that I've said, I was like, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to have to carry it all. That's what I've

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Speaker 1: the constant thing that I felt in my marriage, being

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Speaker 1: a single mom. You know, it's like that, just feeling

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Speaker 1: like I have to carry it all. It's overwhelming. Well,

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Speaker 1: it's exhausting. I actually thought of you as I was

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Speaker 1: reading about Paula. I was like, I just I thought

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Speaker 1: about like the million hats you wear and the pressure

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Speaker 1: that you feel and all the things. I mean, both

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Speaker 1: of you do such a great job. I feel like

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Speaker 1: get balancing. I mean, I'm a full time stay at

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Speaker 1: home mom, so I just need to like clear that up.

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Speaker 1: I'm not I can do things, but I don't have

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Speaker 1: to do things, which is also a luxury. But I

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Speaker 1: thought of both of you and how well you balance

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Speaker 1: both of it. But just like the pressure of having

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Speaker 1: to work too, Like I don't have to respond to

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Speaker 1: anyone right away. This is really my only job and

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Speaker 1: it's not even a job. I just show up at

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Speaker 1: my friend's house. I mean, but that's hard too. I

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Speaker 1: think it's like each aspect is difficult. I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: with sure my situations, like I feel like I have

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Speaker 1: to because I'm like, well, I have to pay for

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Speaker 1: child support. I have to have the roof over their heads.

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Speaker 1: I have to. I don't have to, but I you know,

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Speaker 1: I get to, right, But it's also that pressure that's

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Speaker 1: it's a lot. It's a lot, and then you know,

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Speaker 1: I just so I carry that on top of like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: a career that's so freaking unstable. Any I was just

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Speaker 1: doing an audition earlier with my boyfriend and I was like, whatever,

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Speaker 1: I don't I'm just like I'm not even gonna get it.

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Speaker 1: And he's like, well, that attitude, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: because I don't like coach Allen and that's not a

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Speaker 1: winning attitude hard because you just like sometimes I'm just

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Speaker 1: like I don't and I don't want to work this

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Speaker 1: hard sometimes, Like I know, I would like to just

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Speaker 1: be supported too, you know, in a financial aspect, it's

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Speaker 1: because it's a lot. It is a lot. I mean, Kat,

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Speaker 1: I know you were kind of dealing with that a

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Speaker 1: little bit with Yeah. I mean that pressure is so

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Speaker 1: different though, like that pressure of having to provide for

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Speaker 1: your family versus you know, being married and then having

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Speaker 1: a job and having that pressure. It's different. I mean

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Speaker 1: I don't have the pressure. I know at the end

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Speaker 1: of the day, if I lost my job, or if

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Speaker 1: I needed to quit my job, or if I didn't

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Speaker 1: have a job, I would still be supported. So that

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Speaker 1: is very, very different than what you have to deal with.

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Speaker 1: That pressure is a whole different pressure. But yes, I

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Speaker 1: have worked pretty much my entire motherhood. And I just

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Speaker 1: think that, you know, balance is key, you know, I mean,

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Speaker 1: that's just balance is key. That's all I can say,

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Speaker 1: you know. But the pressure of having to provide, that's

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Speaker 1: that's a whole other level. Yeah, so let's get let's

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Speaker 1: get paul on No, sorry, I thought it was one thirty.

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Speaker 1: Don't you carry that guilt. It's okay, drop the guilt.

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Speaker 1: Drop the guilt, baby, it's time Lately, moms can make

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Speaker 1: mistakes sometimes because we've got a million things we're doing.

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Speaker 1: Apologies again, you can't be late here. It's all good.

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Speaker 1: Don't You're like you're dead to me. This is like

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Speaker 1: the most understanding group of women ever. Like if there

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Speaker 1: was ever a place where you could come in late,

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Speaker 1: this is it. So yeah, and we're all moms too,

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Speaker 1: so we and we were just kind of talking about

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Speaker 1: to your book because I was, I was, you know,

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Speaker 1: telling the girls and they know this and I know

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Speaker 1: we all feel this, but like, honestly, the quote that

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Speaker 1: I feel like that I've said a million times over

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Speaker 1: and over, that's like plastered on my forehead as I like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to carry this all the time, Like

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Speaker 1: I feel like I have to carry it all the time,

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Speaker 1: and it just becomes um, you know what. We all

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Speaker 1: feel that in different situations, right, So like mine's on

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Speaker 1: like the single mom's side, you know, having to support

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Speaker 1: my kids, pay child support, do all those things while

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Speaker 1: still trying to have a career. So like that struggle.

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Speaker 1: And then you know she's got you know, she's a

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Speaker 1: traveling husband who's gone like at least two hundred nights

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Speaker 1: a year with a seven year old was a deep

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Speaker 1: feeler and a four year old boy who's Will Ferrell.

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Speaker 1: And so I'm and I'm pregnant one. Oh my gosh, congratulations.

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Speaker 1: It's really a feat but yeah, just like I felt

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Speaker 1: it the other day, like I was like, how do

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Speaker 1: I carry all these emotions? It's different, but it's a

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Speaker 1: different responsibility. And then we've got Cat too, who's got

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Speaker 1: you know, kids going into almost high school. I don't

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Speaker 1: remind me, it's just it's busy. It's a lot. How

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Speaker 1: old are yours? Cat? Mine are fourteen? Eleven and seven? Okay, okay, fourteen,

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, fourteen, I'm reading this down. Eleven and seven, Joanna?

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Speaker 1: How old is your seven and four? Little one? We

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Speaker 1: keep it real tight. Over here. We have a season.

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Speaker 1: We just text each other. Okay, so wait, so seven

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Speaker 1: and four both of us. Yeah, that's our girls are

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Speaker 1: three weeks apart and our boys are three months apart.

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Speaker 1: Like we definitely are like, okay, we're having a baby. Okay, great,

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Speaker 1: hands in on three except for the third you're like, okay,

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Speaker 1: we're done. Yeah, someone some of us bow out and

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Speaker 1: that's just fine, and some of us going to biblical proportions.

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Speaker 1: It's fine. Okay. I have a fifteen a thirteen, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: how old are they not? Fifteen thirteen and just turned nine. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It's fun. It's fun, and it gets like it gets better.

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Speaker 1: It's a different type of exhausting though, That's what I've heard.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, how and how long have you been married? For?

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Speaker 1: Um going on twenty three years. I'm married my college sweethearts,

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Speaker 1: very good for years. It's a very like small Christian

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Speaker 1: school thing to do, right, So that's cute. I did

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Speaker 1: that one too. Yeah, see, and how did that work out?

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Speaker 1: I have like like half of my friends are divorced, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I got because you guys, it was crazy. So I

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Speaker 1: went to a real small conservative Christian school and the

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Speaker 1: joke was that everyone was there to get their Mrs. Degree.

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Speaker 1: Oh I was in thirteen weddings by the time I

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Speaker 1: got married at the riple age of twenty four. Wow,

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Speaker 1: I was like the old maid of the group to

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Speaker 1: get married. So that crazy, that's crazy. It's just times

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Speaker 1: are a change in and with the josh the you know,

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Speaker 1: the job that you have and also had, you know,

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Speaker 1: being on TV. And was your husband, I mean, was

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Speaker 1: he so supportive and he still felt that guilt? He okay,

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Speaker 1: So you know, I write in the book that you know,

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Speaker 1: my story of spousal equity was kind of a rarity,

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Speaker 1: especially in those conservative circles. You know. My husband was

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Speaker 1: a college basketball coach when we first got married and

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Speaker 1: loved coaching, and then my career started taking off. And

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Speaker 1: when my career was taking off, he said, let's go

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Speaker 1: for this. He was super supportive, and so he gave

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Speaker 1: up his career coaching basketball to follow mine. But of course,

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Speaker 1: you know, it was a joint decision. But we moved

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Speaker 1: from Ohio to Chicago and then to New York, and

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Speaker 1: every time I got a promotion, he's like, let's go

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Speaker 1: for it. So but that's an exception, you know, like

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Speaker 1: I say, my story of spousal equity is definitely an exception.

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Speaker 1: But he's always been really supportive, really really supportive, and

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Speaker 1: it's cool to see how it's all come back around

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Speaker 1: since I left TV News. You know, coaching has always

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Speaker 1: been his first love and he still has a like

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Speaker 1: a day to day regular job. He's in commercial real estate,

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Speaker 1: but he coaches at one of the area high schools

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Speaker 1: he was asked to coach, and he's also coaching one

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Speaker 1: of the travel sports teams basketball teams. So it's all

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Speaker 1: kind of come back, which is really cool. Do you

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Speaker 1: miss being on TV and anchoring? You know, it's still

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Speaker 1: funny people ask me that I have a new appreciation,

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Speaker 1: Like when I went back to New York for my

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Speaker 1: media tour, I have a new appreciation for New York

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Speaker 1: and all of that represents as a tourist now that

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Speaker 1: I'm on the other side, I missed. There are certain

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Speaker 1: aspects of it that I missed, the storytelling, you know,

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Speaker 1: the fast paced aspect of it. But I really love

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Speaker 1: this new season and I love what I'm doing, the

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Speaker 1: work that I'm doing to champion moms, working moms and

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Speaker 1: advocating for them, and I love being able to be

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Speaker 1: really present with my kids. So you know, it's like

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Speaker 1: when you romanticize the situation and have nostalgia. Like my

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Speaker 1: husband and I were just talking about it, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you know, sometimes there are moments I miss it, but

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I miss the feeling, but I don't really

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Speaker 1: miss the reality of it when you really think about it,

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Speaker 1: the reality of getting up early, not seeing my kids,

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Speaker 1: you know, missing out on all the important moments that

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Speaker 1: I wanted to to be part of. So and that's

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Speaker 1: just natural. But I really love where I am right now.

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Speaker 1: I really do. Does it feel like you it's supplemented

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Speaker 1: in those moments of like missing those pieces. Do you

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Speaker 1: get supplemented with watching him be able to step more

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Speaker 1: back into his role of things he loves to do

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Speaker 1: that's passionate and like being with the kids. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: for sure. And it's cool just to see how you know,

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Speaker 1: we totally blew up our lives at the beginning of

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Speaker 1: the pandemic and I left TV News. We both left

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Speaker 1: New York City, moved to a small town in South Carolina,

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Speaker 1: and what we weren't really sure like the next what

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Speaker 1: was going to be in the next chapter, But we

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Speaker 1: just we just knew that this was what we were

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Speaker 1: supposed to do. And it's like we're both super fulfilled.

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Speaker 1: Our kids are really thriving now, and it life's different.

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Speaker 1: It was whiplash because we moved from what eight nine

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Speaker 1: million people to a town of twenty four hundred. I

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Speaker 1: mean it is small. It is small town, but we

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Speaker 1: love it, we really do. And I think one of

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Speaker 1: the biggest lessons that I've learned is that we have

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Speaker 1: to give ourselves permission to try new things and new seasons.

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Speaker 1: We're like, oh, I have to be this one thing.

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Speaker 1: I have to do this one thing for the rest

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Speaker 1: of my life. I have to be, you know, a

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Speaker 1: country music star, or I have to be, you know,

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Speaker 1: a real estate agent, or I have to be a teacher,

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Speaker 1: I have to be a broadcaster for the rest of

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Speaker 1: my life. And I just had to realize I had

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Speaker 1: to give myself permission to try new things in new season.

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Speaker 1: So this new season, I feel really called to, you know,

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Speaker 1: advocating for working momster carry. My husband feels really called to,

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Speaker 1: you know, coaching young men on the basketball court and

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Speaker 1: continuing with his commercial real estate business. But giving yourself

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Speaker 1: permission to try new things in new seasons. And that's

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Speaker 1: kind of how I see it, Like I may not

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Speaker 1: want this in five ten years, and that's okay. I

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Speaker 1: kind of look at life in chapters in seasons. So

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Speaker 1: but we have to give ourselves permission to see ourselves

424
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 1: a new capacity and permission for others to see ourselves

425
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,199
Speaker 1: in a new capacity. And that can be really scary.

426
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 1: I like that, what a splash going through it here

427
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 1: with my two bodies. Don't mind me. Sorry, by the way,

428
00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:01,040
Speaker 1: when are you do, Jim? Okay, beginning in a jam? Yeah,

429
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 1: it's really it's probably really comfortable to be sitting down

430
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 1: right now. Well, we've we have adjusted as a team.

431
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:08,919
Speaker 1: We've adjusted the up angle here, which I really can

432
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,320
Speaker 1: appreciate because for a long time I was like, hey,

433
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,359
Speaker 1: this is like my belly button was doing the talking.

434
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. So okay, So what are some of

435
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:22,160
Speaker 1: your methods for our like theys A tips for burnout,

436
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 1: because I feel like that's a big thing that we

437
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:27,439
Speaker 1: all experienced too, is as moms. Yeah, one thing that

438
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,359
Speaker 1: was really fascinating. So the reason I wrote the book

439
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: to begin with, and you don't have to carry it.

440
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 1: I'll ditch the mom guilt and find a better way forward.

441
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 1: It was my own experience as a mother in the

442
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 1: workplace and the experience of so many other moms that

443
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,400
Speaker 1: it's you, guys, it's not just feeling, it is fact.

444
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,440
Speaker 1: Once you become a mother in this country, in America,

445
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 1: you were paid less seventy cents in the dollar compared

446
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,199
Speaker 1: to fathers. You're valued less, and you're scrutinized more. You're

447
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 1: all of a sudden not seen as a viable leader,

448
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,520
Speaker 1: You're passed over on promotions. The scrutiny goes through the roof.

449
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 1: That's once you become a mother. And so I wanted

450
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 1: to like set up a case for not just how

451
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 1: we can give working moms the support they need to deserve,

452
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 1: but why we should do it. As a country. More

453
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 1: moms are working because they have to. Seventy percent will

454
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 1: be the primary breadwinner in their home, and we're carrying

455
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,640
Speaker 1: out of all of that. You know, we're a marginalized community.

456
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 1: And then we're burnout. We're burnt out at record levels

457
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 1: levels we've never seen before. It is harder to be

458
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,160
Speaker 1: a mother in America than anywhere else. And it's because

459
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 1: mainly we don't have a realistic measuring stick of what

460
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 1: it means to be a mom here, right, there's nobody

461
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 1: that we can really look up to. I mean, June

462
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 1: Cleaver kind of set us up for disaster back in

463
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 1: the nineteen fifties. And we're still trying to carry it all,

464
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 1: and we feel like we can't ask for help because

465
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 1: we'll be weak or or it's a sign of failure.

466
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 1: So we're carrying all of this because that's the expectation

467
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 1: that you need to carry it all. You need to

468
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 1: be a mommy martyr, you'd need to be the perfect

469
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:57,199
Speaker 1: Pinterest mother. And we're burnt out. And it's no surprise

470
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 1: that we're burnt out. But I think you know, we

471
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 1: can burn out on motherhood, which I burn out of motherhood.

472
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:05,120
Speaker 1: We can burn out on jobs, we can burn out

473
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 1: on our expectations. So there's a lot of different contributing

474
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 1: factors to burnout. And one thing that I've noticed is

475
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 1: that when I'm starting to feel like a little crispy

476
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 1: where I'm starting to feel that burnout creep in again.

477
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,880
Speaker 1: Like last summer, I was totally burnt out on motherhood.

478
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,160
Speaker 1: I wasn't burnout on the work I'm doing. I wasn't

479
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 1: burnout on anything else. I was burnout on mothering my children.

480
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 1: And you know, once your kids get a little older,

481
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: you start to carry their burdens and their anxiety and

482
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 1: their relationships and all of those different dynamics. And like

483
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,199
Speaker 1: you carry, you start to carry all of that and

484
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,399
Speaker 1: you can burn out on it. And one of my

485
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,640
Speaker 1: friends said, she gave me some really great advice. She said,

486
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,399
Speaker 1: when you feel that burnout coming, we'll first recognize that

487
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 1: burnout can come from a myriad of different angles. You

488
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 1: need to start staying. Yeah, you obviously have to clear

489
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,239
Speaker 1: your plate and say no to things, but in doing that,

490
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 1: you can also ruthlessly say no to the things that

491
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,879
Speaker 1: also bring you joy. So she said, she encouraged me.

492
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 1: She said, do something for that you really love them

493
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 1: just brings you radical joy. And I'm not talking about

494
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 1: necessarily a spot. Spot is not going to fix it,

495
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 1: but like they know, to certain things and prioritizing but

496
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 1: also saying yes to things that bring you a lot

497
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 1: of joy. For me, it was something as simple as

498
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,119
Speaker 1: grabbing a couple of my girlfriends and go taking a

499
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 1: Trappi's yoga class, you know, just doing something really fun.

500
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: And didn't see that one coming I'm not gonna lie Trappia. Yeah,

501
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 1: you know, I was like that. I gotta tell you

502
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 1: that was a mad live for me. I didn't You

503
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,640
Speaker 1: don't see me hanging upside down from with silks, Well

504
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 1: I do now, but I didn't say there you think

505
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,480
Speaker 1: that was going to be where you were going with it.

506
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,679
Speaker 1: But I think when we think burnout, were like clear

507
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,680
Speaker 1: your plate, clear your plate. Say no, no, no, you're

508
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,199
Speaker 1: burnt out. But like I had to realize, I can

509
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:50,119
Speaker 1: burn out on my expectations of my children. You know,

510
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,680
Speaker 1: I can burn out on being a mother. I can. Yeah,

511
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,439
Speaker 1: you can burn out in a job. But there's a

512
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 1: lot of different things that can cause burnout. And yes,

513
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 1: you have to say no, but you also have to

514
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 1: say yes to something that just brings you wild and

515
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 1: radical joy. And it doesn't have to be anything big.

516
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 1: It could be trappy yoga. It could be hey, I

517
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:14,159
Speaker 1: want to go fly fishing. That's probably not going to

518
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:17,239
Speaker 1: appeal to you. It could be like, you know, I

519
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 1: want to just take a drive, you know, get in

520
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: the car for like two hours ago on a scenic

521
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 1: road trip by myself, and grab a ninety nine cent

522
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: found drink, you know, on the way. So it could

523
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 1: be something simple, but like you have to say yes

524
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 1: the things that bring you joy, um, as well to

525
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 1: make sure that you know you're taking care of yourself. Yeah,

526
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,399
Speaker 1: because the opposite swing of that sometimes I think is

527
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 1: like the natural like we shut down and then we isolate,

528
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 1: and that's not good either. So it's like the saying no,

529
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:47,159
Speaker 1: it's really bad. Yeah it's I whenever I get I

530
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:51,359
Speaker 1: just start crying. It's just because I just feel exhausted. Yeah,

531
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 1: it alone. I don't want to do it alone. Yeah.

532
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,400
Speaker 1: You know what's really interesting? Um? You know, so when

533
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,880
Speaker 1: I in writing the book, I talked kinds of thought

534
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,440
Speaker 1: leaders and experts and historians and sociologists, moms from all walks,

535
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 1: moms from all over the world to try to figure

536
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 1: out like not just how we can support mother's butter

537
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,400
Speaker 1: and why, but like why is it so freaking hard

538
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,880
Speaker 1: to be a mom here in America because anywhere else? Mean,

539
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 1: yeah they're so mean, but ladies, Yeah, they just make

540
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 1: you feel terrible. I'm I'm traveling too much to my kids, this,

541
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 1: that and the other. Like why aren't your kids with you?

542
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 1: Wealth because they were with their dad that weekend? I'm sorry,

543
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 1: Like that on social media, there's like bunny sandwiches being

544
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 1: made and I'm like, like, you give them Chiffy peanut butter.

545
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, I do because I like it. Yeah, I'm

546
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:42,280
Speaker 1: guess what I want to do? Yeah, yeah. And I

547
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 1: think at the crux of the mommy wars is just

548
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 1: a lack of respect for another person's choice and we

549
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 1: don't understand. Like I realized, I had so many blind

550
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 1: spots about motherhood. I'm like, oh, a good mom stays

551
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 1: home to raise her children, as if a working mom

552
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 1: can't raise our kids. I was raised by a stay

553
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 1: at home mom, right, But I realized that, like, hey,

554
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: this isn't the nineteen fifties. Most moms are working now

555
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 1: because they have to work. And Jenna, you're a single mom.

556
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 1: I mean, we have the largest number of children living

557
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: in single parent homes here in America than anywhere else

558
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 1: in the country. My book was written by a single

559
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: mom of three, My publishers a single mom of three,

560
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 1: My editor is a single mom, So I understand, like,

561
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:23,560
Speaker 1: I understand that tension. But when I was talking with

562
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 1: mom global moms, they not only didn't have guilt about

563
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 1: working and guilt about motherhood and parenting. They actually took

564
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: an enormous amount of pride in working, in contributing to

565
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 1: the community and contributing to the family. However, the community

566
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 1: was also very supportive. Right their mantra and other countries

567
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 1: is I am my brother's keeper. Everyone was invested in

568
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 1: raising the children in the community, regardless of whether or

569
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 1: not they were their children, because they realized that children

570
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 1: are our greatest natural resource. They are the future of

571
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 1: this country, and so everyone has vested interest in making

572
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 1: sure that this next generation of children rises up. They

573
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 1: have policies that support families. Here in America, it is

574
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 1: a stress and strain to raise children. There's there's a

575
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 1: thing called a happy gap, which I discovered after interviewing

576
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,959
Speaker 1: this a renowned sociologist, A happy gap between parents and

577
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 1: non parents here in America that doesn't exist to the

578
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 1: levels it does here in America. They have a beautiful interdependence.

579
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 1: In other countries where they have either family members living

580
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 1: with them or there's just this attitude of you better

581
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 1: ask me for help, right and said, here, it's like

582
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 1: you feel like it's an obligation. You feel you feel

583
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 1: like you're putting somebody out if you ask them well

584
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 1: even sometimes even your family mostly oh yeah, yeah, I

585
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 1: know it's treated like an obligation, but in other countries

586
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 1: is just it's the beautiful interdependence. They don't have guilt.

587
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 1: There's structures set up to support families and also to

588
00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 1: news flash value children because I'm like, here, they're either

589
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 1: the future of our country or they're not, so let's

590
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 1: invest in them. But it's just you know. And one

591
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 1: of the moms I spoke with she had foreign exchange

592
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 1: students from all over the world that would visit her

593
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 1: house or visit her home and stay with them every year,

594
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 1: and she said the overwhelming feedback from the foreign exchange

595
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,959
Speaker 1: students was American mothers are working harder than any mothers

596
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 1: in the entire world. And it's so true because we're

597
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,080
Speaker 1: trying to carry it all. We're trying to do it

598
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,560
Speaker 1: all again, there's no realistic measuring stick, and if we

599
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 1: ask for help, we're weak or we're a failure. So yeah,

600
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 1: and there's much a lot of teamwork, you know. Like

601
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 1: my when I was my daughter was young, I had

602
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 1: a girlfriend who would we would I would go to

603
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 1: her house. We would I would drop my daughter off,

604
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 1: I would go get my nails done. Then I would

605
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,520
Speaker 1: come back and she would go get her nails done

606
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: and we would watch each other's kids, and it was

607
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: like that's beautiful. It was fun and it was wonderful.

608
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,360
Speaker 1: She moved home to Georgia to be with her family,

609
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 1: so then I know he system. But it is like

610
00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:00,200
Speaker 1: I feel I feel sometimes dressed out because I'm like

611
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 1: to go leave and do anything cost me like a

612
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 1: certain amount of money an hour. I just think that

613
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 1: that's totally It's so important, Like both I could say

614
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 1: all three of my kids, I have people that I know.

615
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,280
Speaker 1: I can call on a mom friend be like, hey

616
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 1: can you take so and so today? And I'll take

617
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 1: them the next day, like we all kind of do.

618
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 1: I mean it is a smaller community, but like we

619
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 1: all do that. It's like, yeah, I have a really

620
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: good friend who works a lot. She's a nurse. She

621
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,560
Speaker 1: works all the time, and like I don't think twice,

622
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 1: like her daughter's like my second daughter. Like anytime you're working,

623
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 1: I got her. We're doing this, you know. But everyone

624
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 1: doesn't have that mentality anymore. No, the community it's huge,

625
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:41,200
Speaker 1: and that's the thing, like we need to ask for help. Yeah,

626
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 1: we can wait for society's attitudes to change about our

627
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 1: kids and about our families. We can wait for the policymakers.

628
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 1: It's going to take a long time to catch up

629
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 1: and actually like create policies that are family friendly. We

630
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 1: say we're family friendly in this country, but that's bs.

631
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you know the way that our policies do

632
00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 1: not support that at all. But what we can do

633
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 1: is we can stop carrying it all. We can ask

634
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 1: for help. And that's one thing I've learned to do.

635
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 1: It's really hard. It's hard for me to ask for

636
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,959
Speaker 1: help because we've been conditioned. I've been conditioned, we've been

637
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 1: conditioned as women to not ask for it because we're weak.

638
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 1: And it's almost like this martyr status if we don't,

639
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 1: if we can do it all on our own, yeah,

640
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 1: well news watch. That's why we're all warned out right.

641
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 1: But if you if we can ask for help and

642
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 1: can't what you just described as so beautiful, you've created

643
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 1: an interdependence and your friends can be closer than your family,

644
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 1: but you are just as much that helped to your

645
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 1: friends as they are to you. And it can and

646
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 1: for like I can't necessarily you know, af forward full

647
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 1: time childcare. But what I can do is offer that

648
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 1: childcare to another friend. Hey Friday, I'm going to take

649
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 1: your kids next Friday, will you take mine. I'm going

650
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 1: to take your kid home. I'm going to pick your

651
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 1: kid up from track practice or from carpool. I'm going

652
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 1: to bring dinner to you. I'm gonna go clean your house.

653
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 1: So you create, you create a beautiful interdependence and you

654
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 1: create community. And guess what, there's a cost to that.

655
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 1: You will you there is a sacrifice to that you

656
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 1: will be. It's not that you're obligated, but it's not

657
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 1: always going to be convenient. And that's one thing. Like

658
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 1: we live such convenience, live convenient lives. If we want

659
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 1: to be part of something bigger than ourselves and we

660
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 1: want to be part of community, and we say it

661
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,239
Speaker 1: takes a village, we have to also be willing to

662
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 1: be inconvenience for other people. And we're not, but we

663
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 1: have to. We have to take that first step and

664
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 1: say I'm going to do I'm gonna be this for

665
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:29,799
Speaker 1: you if you want somebody else to do the same. Yeah,

666
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 1: I love the friendship. I mean I feel like, you know,

667
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 1: especially even like my daughter is like my friend pay

668
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: him like, Okay, do you have I'll take Harlow this

669
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 1: week or you got so you know, Jolie the next week.

670
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:42,440
Speaker 1: And I think the asking for help piece is almost

671
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,439
Speaker 1: easier with friends. It's harder for me and like relationships,

672
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:48,400
Speaker 1: because I feel like when in past if I was

673
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 1: to ask for help, but it would never get done,

674
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 1: so I'm like, well, I'm just gonna do it myself.

675
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,959
Speaker 1: And then now I've been so trained to not ask

676
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:57,239
Speaker 1: for help because well, ay, I like it the way

677
00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 1: that I do it right, I know going to get done.

678
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: So you know that's a piece now is like trying

679
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,920
Speaker 1: to like switch off. They're like, Okay, try it differently

680
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,759
Speaker 1: again and learn like it's ask for help, which is hard. No,

681
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 1: but that's that's that's really good too. And Janna, that's

682
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 1: something I think a lot of moms struggle with. We

683
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:17,279
Speaker 1: want it's just sometimes easier for us to do it,

684
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 1: and even with our kids. So I write a chapter

685
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 1: about how we're hot housing their children here in America

686
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 1: and the lessons I learned from parents in France, where

687
00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 1: like they believe that a key and vital aspect of

688
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:32,759
Speaker 1: childhood development is allowing your children to be frustrated, say

689
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:36,080
Speaker 1: no and meaning it, say no, we're not going to

690
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 1: do that, and it's okay if you're frustrated. That is

691
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 1: that is a key component to the development. Like the

692
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 1: French and I don't know if you guys have ever

693
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:45,879
Speaker 1: been to France, they really don't have kids venues. I mean,

694
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:47,839
Speaker 1: the kids just have to adapt. They have to learn

695
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:51,319
Speaker 1: how to be frustrated. And that also extends to like

696
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 1: why are we the sheafault the mom Why are we

697
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,720
Speaker 1: the ones doing everything at home? Why are we working

698
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 1: ninety eight hours a week between work and home and

699
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 1: picking up everything at home, the laundry, the cooking. We

700
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 1: got to ask our kids to start doing some of

701
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 1: that too, And yes, we could do it better, we

702
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 1: could do it more efficiently. And you know, like my

703
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,839
Speaker 1: boys like might just put things in the dryer and

704
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 1: not put them in the washer. They think somehow that

705
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: the dryer is going to clean them too. But I'm like,

706
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:24,799
Speaker 1: you just have to let them learn to learn to

707
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 1: figure it out. My son the other day he's like, Mom,

708
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:28,360
Speaker 1: I don't think I have any clean clothes for a

709
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 1: golf practice. He's in seventh grade, And I was like,

710
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 1: did you do your laundry and he said no, and

711
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 1: I said, I'm sorry, you know, like he's starting to

712
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 1: do his laundry. But we also have to allow them

713
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 1: to accept those consequences and also helped train them to

714
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:45,359
Speaker 1: be a good partner down the road and an adult. Right,

715
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 1: I mean, they're already starting to become an adult. I

716
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 1: mean for kids that have graduated and don't know how

717
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 1: to do they don't know how to boil pasta, they

718
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 1: don't know how to do their laundry, Like we're doing

719
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 1: our kids a disservice. Kids these days can earn, but

720
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 1: they can't empathize, and they can perform, but they can't perceive.

721
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 1: Like we've got to allow our kids to get their

722
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:08,719
Speaker 1: their feet and their hands dirty. Yeah. Well, I just

723
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 1: had this conversation with my sister in law who came

724
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:12,279
Speaker 1: over and my house was a mess and there was

725
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,359
Speaker 1: dirty dishes and the thing. And I was like, Oh,

726
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 1: don't mind my dirty dishes. I'm just waiting on my

727
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,719
Speaker 1: son to do them, because he's supposed to have done

728
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 1: the dishes last night. She was like, how can you

729
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 1: do that? Just let him sit there and I'm like,

730
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 1: oh no, they're gonna sit there until he does the dishes, like, yeah,

731
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 1: that's his job and they're gonna sit there and yeah,

732
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:30,319
Speaker 1: my house might be a mess right now, but it's

733
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 1: still his job to do them. Do you give him

734
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 1: like a time, because that would like start like I

735
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:39,360
Speaker 1: want to go right now. Yeah, yeah, well I meant

736
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 1: leave dishes and the thing. It's a thing exactly, That's

737
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 1: what she was saying. But I'm like, but you're doing

738
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:45,959
Speaker 1: your kids at disservice now. Having said that, the reason

739
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,239
Speaker 1: they sat there is because he did have something else

740
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 1: he had to do. He had a prior commitment, so yes,

741
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:53,319
Speaker 1: it would be easy, and sure we've done it a

742
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:55,920
Speaker 1: couple times. We just do it anyway, but we're really

743
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,840
Speaker 1: trying not to do that. That means they have to

744
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 1: sit through your dishes all so I make I make

745
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 1: Julian Jays do their own and then sometimes Julia big

746
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:08,439
Speaker 1: mommy Alcacharz. I'm like, that's okay, but like, well ours,

747
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 1: I mean, our pals up. So sure it's like not

748
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 1: even so it's like I need it takes you know, whatever,

749
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,799
Speaker 1: But I mean, yes, it's not easy. But at the

750
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,160
Speaker 1: same time, it's like, okay, it's not going to teach

751
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 1: him anything if we just do it. And that's why,

752
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 1: Like when my son asked me, He's like, will you

753
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:26,920
Speaker 1: just do my laundry? And I was like, I'd love to,

754
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:31,279
Speaker 1: but I'm sorry. You need to look, you need to

755
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 1: like understand the consequences of not doing it. Are you

756
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 1: not going to have clean clothes? Yep? To where to

757
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:42,319
Speaker 1: practice and allowing him to kind of feel that frustration.

758
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:45,439
Speaker 1: It's not that I don't love him. I love my child.

759
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 1: I would it's so much easier for me to do

760
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:49,320
Speaker 1: it right, and it's easy for me just to intervene.

761
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:52,160
Speaker 1: But I'm not teaching him anything, and I've like I

762
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: my parenting style is totally different now since I wrote

763
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 1: the book. I allow my children to, especially especially my youngest,

764
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:01,440
Speaker 1: my nine year old, to feel for austration because I

765
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:04,799
Speaker 1: realized that that's a key part of of growing up.

766
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 1: It's a key part of of being a human. So

767
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:11,280
Speaker 1: I don't want I want my kids again to perceive

768
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,480
Speaker 1: and not just perform, and I want them to empathize

769
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 1: and not just burn. Um. I want my my son's

770
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:21,280
Speaker 1: partners to thank me down the road instead of hate

771
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 1: me for raising a enabled son who expects food to

772
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 1: just magically appear like I want my kids. Yeah, I

773
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 1: want so. My mother in law thinks she nailed it, Paula,

774
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:35,360
Speaker 1: My mother in law really thinks she nailed that. I

775
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 1: tell you, as you're saying all of this, like a

776
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 1: lot of mine. Burnout even came in the marriage piece, like,

777
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 1: I know you have this sweet, wonderful husband who seems

778
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 1: to be very cool. He's Oh he's not perfect, none

779
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 1: of it. None of us are. It's been a it's

780
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,359
Speaker 1: been a journey. He's younger than me, So I say,

781
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:53,799
Speaker 1: you know, trained up a child in the way they

782
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 1: should go. There was a lot of training. Yeah, that's

783
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 1: what happened. A lot of training for me. You're still training.

784
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 1: What do you what do you think the biggest takeaway

785
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 1: or what would you like the biggest takeaway to be

786
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 1: with your book? Is it truly the mom's dropping the

787
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 1: guilt or what do you think it is? Well, I

788
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 1: think moms just want to feel seen and heard and

789
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 1: valued and validated, right everybody, Like I just I want

790
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 1: you to have this reaction like, oh my gosh, finally

791
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:24,400
Speaker 1: someone is saying it. I had someone reach out to

792
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: me that's reading it. She's like two pages in, I'm

793
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 1: already in tears. She's like, why is it twenty twenty

794
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:32,440
Speaker 1: three in this book, because just now being written, that's like, yes,

795
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 1: it's it's full of research and history and facts and

796
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:39,799
Speaker 1: funny anecdotes, and it documents a better way forward. It's

797
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:42,200
Speaker 1: hopeful and it's helpful. It's the tool belt. It's like

798
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 1: a better way forward for working and momming. But I

799
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,760
Speaker 1: want moms to feel seen. I want moms to feel heard.

800
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 1: I want them to feel valued, and I want them

801
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 1: to feel validated. That's overwhelmingly what I want. I want hug.

802
00:40:55,160 --> 00:41:02,279
Speaker 1: You were right here. Everyone to everyone, go grab you

803
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 1: don't have to carry it all. Ditch the mom gills

804
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,800
Speaker 1: and find a better way forward by right now. Paula

805
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 1: Faris girlfriend, thank you so much for coming on wine down. Oh,

806
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 1: thank you so much. And I just have one more

807
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,719
Speaker 1: thing to say to all three of you. You are

808
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:21,879
Speaker 1: a good mom. I don't feel like you can tell

809
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 1: somebody that when you tell another mom that, she's just

810
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:29,719
Speaker 1: like really, because we doubt our son too emotional. I

811
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:31,920
Speaker 1: made it the whole time with you without crying. You

812
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 1: said a few things where I was like, I'm definitely

813
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,839
Speaker 1: gonna cry, But that is a good mom. Yeah, because

814
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 1: I'm tired. I work for the Kardashians for free. That's

815
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 1: how I feel. I'm tired, That's how it feels. I

816
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 1: had to remind my people the other day. I'm like,

817
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 1: I don't work for you, like, I'm here because I

818
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:52,799
Speaker 1: love the Lord. You know, I'm trying to change a

819
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 1: better generation, not because I'm getting paid to be here,

820
00:41:56,320 --> 00:42:05,320
Speaker 1: you know, Like how get sister out? Well, thank you,

821
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:08,880
Speaker 1: by I appreciate all three of you. Thanks, ladies, bye

822
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,480
Speaker 1: bye bye by bye. Yeah, she's great. I need to

823
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 1: I'm amazigning Asa so semi fan girl inside because you

824
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:19,879
Speaker 1: know this. I don't think you know this, but my

825
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,000
Speaker 1: I was going to go to school because I wanted

826
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 1: to be an anger woman. Oh, like I wanted to

827
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 1: be Diane Sawyer so badly. Oh you'd be good at that.

828
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 1: You're a digger. You're kind of fan girling ever a

829
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 1: little bit. Yeah, so cool, I know I would be.

830
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 1: It was fun though I sometimes and I know this

831
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:40,920
Speaker 1: is like unfair, but like sometimes when people are in

832
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 1: that profession, I'm actually I feel so excited for her

833
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,359
Speaker 1: that she went in a different direction, because she's just

834
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 1: so much more than just that. Like she's so much yeah,

835
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 1: like a good soul. Well I think too, like when

836
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 1: people pivot, it's interesting something she said, Like I remember

837
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 1: being out on the road with Jolie and being like,

838
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:02,400
Speaker 1: this isn't this isn't what I want. Now, Luckily I

839
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:04,560
Speaker 1: was able to kind of pivot. But a lot of

840
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:08,200
Speaker 1: people that's just their one thing, you know, and whichever

841
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 1: avenue you go, I mean you you know you're is

842
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:14,560
Speaker 1: not the wrong decision, but by any means, but um,

843
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:17,719
Speaker 1: it's just interesting. Like I like how because sometimes I

844
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 1: feel like, oh my god, what am I doing? But

845
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 1: it's like, okay, it's okay to change a season, find

846
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,839
Speaker 1: something else, you know, like this is the pivot different things.

847
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,359
Speaker 1: I needed it. I needed it more than I knew

848
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,319
Speaker 1: I needed it, and I knew I needed it because

849
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:32,719
Speaker 1: I was just at home, you know, like and it's

850
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 1: so amazing. But there's even guilt that comes with me

851
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:38,280
Speaker 1: going like I don't think this is enough for me. Okay,

852
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 1: you know, like I love raising them, I love cooking,

853
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 1: I love all the things, but I also am just

854
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 1: like but I also am just more than a toilet scrubber,

855
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 1: you know, Like I needed a moment for myself a maid. Honey,

856
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,319
Speaker 1: oh honey, nobody wants to clean like I clean. I'm

857
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:55,799
Speaker 1: really yeah, oh really see, I'm like, I don't need

858
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 1: a lot of people that are that OCD about cleaning.

859
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 1: Can't have a clean people? Yeah yeah, oh yeah. And

860
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 1: then I hated the one Sarah gave me, so that

861
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 1: an't work. If you ever do, I really do mind

862
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 1: the fact that they think they're interior designers and they

863
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 1: like to move. I can't see my threads clothing like

864
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:18,840
Speaker 1: I like, you just pick it up dust and just

865
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 1: talk about this. So asking for help and I do

866
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,279
Speaker 1: it ourselves. I tell you a funny story really quick,

867
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: and I promise this is a short. But this has

868
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:27,719
Speaker 1: to do with it. I had a cleaning lady come

869
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 1: in January because I was like, Okay, I can do this,

870
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:32,240
Speaker 1: I can ask for help. I've got to start taking

871
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 1: things off my plate. Yeah, I assume because I'm a

872
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:35,359
Speaker 1: stay at home mom, I have to do it all

873
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 1: and if I don't, then I'm failing. Blah. Okay, So

874
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:41,840
Speaker 1: now okay, So so this is I hope funny. Okay.

875
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,840
Speaker 1: So I have a little urn with my dad, A

876
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 1: part of my dad. He's on my he's on my

877
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:49,799
Speaker 1: living room shelf and I'm smiling only because this gets

878
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 1: funny and my dad would actually appreciate this story. But

879
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:55,360
Speaker 1: so the cleaning lady has come and my dad is missing,

880
00:44:56,920 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, listen, you can move a friend

881
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:02,799
Speaker 1: and like it's fine, but like you've lost my Like,

882
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 1: where's my dad? Has anybody seen my dad? I did

883
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 1: find him. He was talked in a tiny corner and

884
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:13,919
Speaker 1: I was like, they just I don't think they knew

885
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:15,799
Speaker 1: what I didn't. I don't think they knew he's in there.

886
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 1: But I was like, this is why I can't do this.

887
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:20,839
Speaker 1: I just moved the frame and don't put it back.

888
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:23,880
Speaker 1: But you've moved my dad. You've misplaced my Dad's like

889
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 1: my lesson learned. I was like, so that's the last

890
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:32,399
Speaker 1: time I had someone January fourth, No, okay, that's turn

891
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:42,320
Speaker 1: well on that note to laugh about something, super glue

892
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:50,879
Speaker 1: the urns down and dropped the guilt. Yes. I love you, guys,

893
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:51,799
Speaker 1: I love you so much.