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Speaker 1: Let's discuss the Tom Brady roast on Netflix. Brilliant idea,

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Speaker 1: by the way, like genius, brilliant idea. I mean, and

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Speaker 1: a roast is a dying art. Jeff Ross has been

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Speaker 1: around forever and he's the roastmaster, and Lisa Lampinelli used.

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Speaker 2: To be big in the game.

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Speaker 1: A lot of the people are dinosaurs and aren't even

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Speaker 1: doing it anymore. But Jeff Ross kind of owns that space.

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Speaker 1: And many of you, none of you know, none of

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Speaker 1: you know that I was on the dais at the

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Speaker 1: Friars Club where the roasts all started. That's where this

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Speaker 1: whole craft started. They used to air the Friars Club roasts,

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Speaker 1: and I was on the dais and I roasted Betty

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Speaker 1: White and ahead of time, and there was a lot

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Speaker 1: of people who were on TV who were there, and

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Speaker 1: I mean everyone was fam I mean obviously Betty White

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Speaker 1: was there, and Barbara Walters was there, and I think

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Speaker 1: it was Gilbert.

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Speaker 2: Godfried was there. A lot of people were there.

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Speaker 1: And I was paired with a writer ahead of time,

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Speaker 1: and I ended up giving away the right just saying

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Speaker 1: I don't want to write or I want to write

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Speaker 1: for myself because I just that's just not my style.

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Speaker 1: I can't imagine someone that gave what I would want

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Speaker 1: to say. So I wrote for myself and I have

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Speaker 1: it somewhere. It's up in my memorabilia. It's on a DVD.

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Speaker 1: And I landed it. I stuck the landing so much

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Speaker 1: so that Jeff Ross and I got to know each

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Speaker 1: other since then because he said, wow, that was really good,

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Speaker 1: Like I had never done anything like that, and it

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Speaker 1: was nerve wracking. It was a massive room, a ballroom

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Speaker 1: at the Friars Club with real comedians and I was

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Speaker 1: getting up there to do it and we got roasted

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Speaker 1: all so Lisa Lampinelley I think, was there that night,

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Speaker 1: and unless I'm mistaken, but anyway, so I stuck the

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Speaker 1: landing for sure, and it was super funny, and even

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Speaker 1: Barbara Walters gave me a compliment, like Betty White gave

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Speaker 1: me a compliment. And it was funny because one of

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Speaker 1: the things was like how far do we go? Like

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Speaker 1: how much are we going to go?

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Speaker 2: There? Because I think she was ninety at the time.

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Speaker 1: If I'm not mistaken, it could have been eighty, but

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Speaker 1: I think it was ninety and we went all the

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Speaker 1: way and it's funny because that is a dying art.

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Speaker 1: And the Tom Brady Rose they went all the way

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Speaker 1: like twenty twenty four. People don't go all the way anymore.

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Speaker 1: No one goes all the way. Nikki Glazer took chances,

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Speaker 1: and I texted her, you stuck the landing.

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Speaker 2: She left no crumbs, but like the.

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Speaker 1: Other gentleman, and I'm annoyed that I don't know his name,

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Speaker 1: because that's not giving him his flowers, which she deserves.

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Speaker 1: There was the guy who made the whales Vagina joke

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Speaker 1: about the Kardashians.

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Speaker 2: He was talking. He had the longest bit.

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Speaker 1: It seemed like of the clips I saw because I

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Speaker 1: haven't watched the whole thing yet because i'm saving it

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Speaker 1: and savoring it, I might have mortarantom and I see

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Speaker 1: the whole thing, so I apologize. But he let he

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Speaker 1: ate that thing, and he wasn't scared.

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Speaker 2: He was you know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, they were talking about shit that's totally inappropriate,

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Speaker 1: and it was great that Netflix is airing it, and

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Speaker 1: it was just a throwback to like when people said

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Speaker 1: what a fuck they wanted, and like that dying art

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Speaker 1: of true comedy wasn't dead because everyone's afraid. But I

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Speaker 1: will say that this has nothing to do with not

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Speaker 1: going there, going there on Gizelle repeatedly by many people.

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Speaker 1: I think was a low hanging fruit mistake. Like, you know,

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Speaker 1: my friend was like she thought it was really what

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Speaker 1: was the word she said, It is cheesy. I don't

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Speaker 1: remember what she said, but like we didn't love that,

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Speaker 1: Like it wasn't necessary to go after her multiple times,

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Speaker 1: throw in a couple of swipes.

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Speaker 2: It was his wife.

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Speaker 1: But it became like the main thing about him was

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Speaker 1: his divorce, Like let's talk about him, let's talk about

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Speaker 1: him on the field, in the locker room, whatever, you know,

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Speaker 1: But talking about his divorce as the main thing is

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Speaker 1: low hanging fruit.

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Speaker 2: I didn't like that.

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Speaker 1: It's not fair to her, Like someone has to have

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Speaker 1: a heart about that, Like that's not she has nothing

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Speaker 1: to do with this. She's not there de finding herself,

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Speaker 1: she has nothing to do with this. She's not making money.

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Speaker 1: Her kids can't love that.

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Speaker 2: It just was like whoa.

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Speaker 1: But what was interesting is that Tom Brady got visceral

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Speaker 1: and went up and was like, do not make that

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Speaker 1: joke again. Do not say anything about him again. When

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Speaker 1: Jeff Ross made a massage joke about Robert Kraft. Tom

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Speaker 1: didn't have any visceral reaction about his ex wife being

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Speaker 1: dragged behind a car by everyone, but one comment on

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Speaker 1: Robert Craft. He put his fucking lit up like a

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Speaker 1: Christmas tree and ran up there. We haven't seen anything

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Speaker 1: like that. That was like no meat left.

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Speaker 2: On the fucking carcass. Unbelievable.

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Speaker 1: And the Kim Kardashian thing. I guess she got booed

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Speaker 1: for a while. Is that because of Taylor? Is that

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Speaker 1: just because it's Boston? Is that because whatever? Because it

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Speaker 1: happened to her somewhere else recently, A woe was heckling

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Speaker 1: her like it's not you.

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Speaker 2: Know, it's it can't be easy.

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Speaker 1: I will say, I know that none of you are

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Speaker 1: crying for her, but it can't be easy to like

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Speaker 1: be booed then have someone stand up and scream like

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Speaker 1: it's not And at the mecal she looked a little uncomfortable,

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Speaker 1: like that's gotta that's you're gonna take a hit, you know, Listen,

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Speaker 1: what goes up must come down if you're gonna be

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Speaker 1: that famous, like you're gonna take hits. Sometimes it's just

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Speaker 1: the nature of the beasts, like it's what, it's what

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Speaker 1: goes on, you're gonna be in a car ride, somebody's

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Speaker 1: gonna spill something.

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Speaker 2: So she's been in a long car ride. And that

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Speaker 2: wasn't that great.

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Speaker 1: Netflix did delete it, which I guess people were like

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Speaker 1: that they didn't want that taken out.

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Speaker 2: Does it add to the show? You know?

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Speaker 1: Her her bit wasn't It didn't land Like it was okay,

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Speaker 1: but like it was such a group of craftsmen and

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Speaker 1: craft women in there that her lines didn't really land.

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Speaker 1: They didn't seem that inspired. Like it wasn't funny, but

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Speaker 1: she's not funny. Like the things that she and her

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Speaker 1: family does are funny, but she's not funny. So like

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Speaker 1: you're not supposed to expect it's funny. Because Dave Portnoy

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Speaker 1: was saying he wished he was invited and he should

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Speaker 1: have been invited because he is the Patriots and it

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Speaker 1: shows about the Patriots and he's taught the biggest Tom

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Speaker 1: Brady fan and all that stuff, and he wasn't invited,

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Speaker 1: and he speculated that it was a Kim Kardashian reason

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Speaker 1: like that. She said, fine, I'll do it, but not

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Speaker 1: if he's doing it.

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Speaker 2: I don't think she was.

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Speaker 1: I don't think she's controlling Ted Sarandos and Netflix, you know,

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Speaker 1: one of the top multi billion dollar companies in the world,

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Speaker 1: and what they're doing.

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Speaker 2: I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that's why he wasn't invited. He probably

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Speaker 1: just wasn't invited. It's like, why wasn't I at the

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Speaker 1: met Gala? Why because you weren't fucking invited? So like

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Speaker 1: he just wasn't invited, like point blank. I think it's

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Speaker 1: just like, I don't think Kim Kardashian's running Netflix's decisions,

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Speaker 1: because I think Netflix runs the whole show, runs the

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Speaker 1: rodeo in the world as much as Anna Winter runs

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Speaker 1: the Mechala. So that's very him to think that, like

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Speaker 1: something that she's coming in and being like, here's my rider.

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Speaker 1: I need black licorice, cashers, pop chips, Pellegrino, you know,

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Speaker 1: and a fuzzy nice Kashmir card again in case something

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Speaker 1: goes wrong with my wardrobe. But also Portnhard can't be invited.

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Speaker 1: So that was so he said that, But he then

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Speaker 1: they asked him to do an in the moment roast

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Speaker 1: of Kim Kardashian on his show, and he thought he

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Speaker 1: did great because he just trashed her. But that's not

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Speaker 1: a roast. A rose isn't trashing someone. A roast is

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Speaker 1: being funny, like trashing someone while being endearing. Anybody could

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Speaker 1: just say mean things about somebody. He does that every

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Speaker 1: day and he could be on the Housewives doing that

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Speaker 1: like a roast is a real like a crafted statement,

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Speaker 1: no pun intended, a crafted statement that does skewer someone

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Speaker 1: and roast them, but it's wrapped in laughter. Just you know,

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Speaker 1: abusing someone is not just is not funny, but just

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Speaker 1: like wrapping in a laughter is funny. So the Giselle

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Speaker 1: stuff was funny, but it's not funny because she's not

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Speaker 1: the one being roasted, you know, and she wasn't even

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Speaker 1: on the days. If she agreed to be there as

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Speaker 1: one of the people, that would be different. So anyway,

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Speaker 1: I thought they did a great job, really smart. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure that they should start doing that for other people.

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Speaker 1: That would be insane. Oh my god, I die to

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Speaker 1: go to something like that. That looked so fun, but

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Speaker 1: I have to now watch the whole thing. Let's give

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Speaker 1: Nicki Glazer her flowers. Nicki Glazer gets her flowers because

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Speaker 1: she's a woman in a man's profession. In many cases,

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Speaker 1: on the road shitty hotels, the whole thing, and she

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Speaker 1: crushed it. And like I feel like landing that in

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Speaker 1: that arena on that stage for Netflix with Tom Brady,

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Speaker 1: like every all the pins are just like lined up,

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Speaker 1: and she knocked them all down. And that can be

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Speaker 1: like a career builder. Like the other gentleman that I'm

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Speaker 1: upset that I can't think of his name, because I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna give him his flowers one of these days too.

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Speaker 1: I'll mention it next time he that could like revive

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Speaker 1: career in the same way that having an amazing gorgeous

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Speaker 1: moment on the Mech Gala carpet could revive a career too.

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Speaker 1: I mean, Jennifer Lopez has had a rough couple of months,

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Speaker 1: like it's not been the most fun for her. And

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Speaker 1: I said to myself, she's gonna come and she's going

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Speaker 1: to slay the day at the met gal And know

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Speaker 1: whether you think she did or she didn't, you know,

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Speaker 1: some people are talking about her hair and whatever. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure you can't win for losing. But she came there

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Speaker 1: with an outfit and her boat was showing through and

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Speaker 1: she made a statement on the carpet and it can

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Speaker 1: almost like rinse away all the drama. It's like thriving

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Speaker 1: and surviving. It's a reason why people would pay even

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Speaker 1: if they had to. She didn't pay, But if she

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Speaker 1: had to pay seventy five thousand a tickets, you bet

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Speaker 1: your fucking ask she would. I mean her team would,

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Speaker 1: and her company would, and her people would. But it

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Speaker 1: would be worth it. You could be worth it. If

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Speaker 1: someone called me tomorrow and said, give me seventy five

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Speaker 1: grand you're going on the met Galic carpet. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: tell you the truth because I know you know I

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Speaker 1: talk about drugstore lipgloss and.

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Speaker 2: All that stuff. I'm gonna tell you what I would.

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Speaker 2: I'd pay the seventy five g's.

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Speaker 1: It could be if I landed a look, it could

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Speaker 1: be like it could change, It could be a deal,

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Speaker 1: or something interesting could come out of it. Like I

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Speaker 1: don't know who I'd be sitting at a table. I

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Speaker 1: always make a joke that I just want to land

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Speaker 1: the look. It's not really totally true. I'd like to

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Speaker 1: land the look and then just be at the table

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Speaker 1: with who the business people are, because what happens at

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Speaker 1: the metcala is it's business tables. Like you know, big

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Speaker 1: brands will buy a table, and the big brands will

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Speaker 1: buy a table, but they have to let celebrities sit there.

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Speaker 1: So if the right celebrity that's not like, you know,

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Speaker 1: a giraffe looking around at everybody else, is sitting down,

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Speaker 1: they're gonna go like, yes, let's sit and talk to

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Speaker 1: the CEO of LREL. Let's sit and talk to CEO

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Speaker 1: of Nordstrum or Apple or whoever the hell is there.

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Speaker 1: Let's sit down and talk to Jeff Bezos. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, like, let's be that would be it. That's

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Speaker 1: a room.

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Speaker 2: That's a room.

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Speaker 1: So that's the seventy five g's that I think it

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Speaker 1: is minimum, But yeah, it's worth the seventy five g's

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Speaker 1: for Jlo to go in there and rinse off what

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Speaker 1: just happened?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, check. She could pay a million dollars to do that. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: that would be worth it.