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Speaker 1: Today by getting the girl I consider a sister to

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Speaker 1: me pregnant. Oh no, you know, typically people who you're like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you're my sister, you don't try and get them pregnant.

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Speaker 2: Do you know? It depends what state you're in.

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Speaker 1: You say you're my sister, are you trying to get

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Speaker 1: them pregnant?

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Speaker 2: It depends on the state. Everything, different laws and rules

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Speaker 2: and regulation, you know.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes some some some might call it family love.

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Speaker 2: Okay, an Alabama equivalent in like the Europe, in the Europe.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was trying to think of other you know, honestly,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure. I'm sure it's like the Boonies of every.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder. I wonder what the Alabama of Europe is.

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Speaker 2: All of our europe people, let us know what the

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Speaker 2: Alabama of Europe is, please.

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Speaker 1: Or or wherever you're from. If you're from a country

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Speaker 1: that's not the US, let us know what the Alabama

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Speaker 1: of your country is. We want to know.

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Speaker 2: And we're defining Alabama as uh, the as a population

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Speaker 2: that on average sleeps with their sister.

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Speaker 1: That's the bar ladies and gentlemen, let us know. I'm Sam,

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Speaker 1: I'm John. Let's get into the story. So this is

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Speaker 1: probably my biggest f up ever, which will haunt me

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Speaker 1: for the next eighteen years.

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Speaker 2: Ever ever, well, I guess, like if you know, if

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Speaker 2: it's the ramvocations of eighteen years, then it's probably pretty bad.

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Speaker 3: Probably getting the person you consider a sister pregnant probably

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Speaker 3: a pretty big mistake.

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Speaker 2: I know. I feel like on the list of uh

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Speaker 2: no nos, know, they don't teach you that in school, truly.

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Speaker 1: They don't say, Hey, all of the women in your

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Speaker 1: life you consider a sister, don't get them pregnant. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let the people, let's let's put this in the curriculum.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And like, also, you know, what does consider a

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Speaker 2: sister mean?

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Speaker 1: Like you are.

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Speaker 2: It's like like, well, she's actually my sister, which is

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Speaker 2: why why Yeah, it only makes sense. You don't have

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Speaker 2: to go through too many hoops.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I want to know what the f

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Speaker 1: bigger than that is? I mean, and uh, maybe maybe

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Speaker 1: killing the president, like if you kill the president, like.

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Speaker 2: Some countries are are rewarded for killing presidents. You know,

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Speaker 2: have you ever heard of like a successful coup? I mean,

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Speaker 2: I know, I'm sure they've happened. Yeah, successful coups. They're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: we killed the president. Now we're in power. That's this

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Speaker 2: is TikTok. This is not saying I'm going to podcast

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Speaker 2: Samuel going to kill the president. Old man Time is

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Speaker 2: probably gonna do that before.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly Mother Nature is gonna do her dirty business.

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Speaker 2: Oh, Joel Baden polling off his basketball again.

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Speaker 4: This is the last rod, everybody, you know, Back in

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Speaker 4: my day, bicycles used to have one big tire and

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Speaker 4: one small tire.

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Speaker 2: That's why I'm not used to these new fangled double

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Speaker 2: tired things.

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Speaker 1: I'll show you what riding off into the sunset really means.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, let me, uh, let me give you a

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Speaker 2: little little kiss on the lips. Now kiss a death

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Speaker 2: hands in Joe Biden coming at you.

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Speaker 1: You gotta love it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what handsy Joe Biden. Dude, he gives the best

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Speaker 2: massages in the White House.

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Speaker 1: Oh dude, I heard those Those shoulders are relaxed.

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Speaker 2: You know why Obama is such a great president Joe

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Speaker 2: Biden's massages. Giving her a little kiss on the cheek,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 1: Uh, There's been a lot of talk about Joe Biden massages,

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Speaker 1: and I'm here to say that he gives the best

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Speaker 1: massages in the world.

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Speaker 2: That was Obama. Is that you? That was great? That

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Speaker 2: was a great impression.

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Speaker 1: You know, we're out here, he is out here. Maybe

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Speaker 1: maybe one day is out here we'll read We'll read

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Speaker 1: a story as Obama.

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Speaker 2: Wow. Wow. I'm just I'm always impressed when every like,

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Speaker 2: whenever John pulls out a new impression, I'm just like,

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Speaker 2: where did that come from? Today?

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Speaker 1: I affed up by getting the woman I consider my

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Speaker 1: sister pregnant.

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Speaker 2: That was okay, very patriotic.

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Speaker 1: Please please don't deep take me, guys. This just feels

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Speaker 1: so surreal and I'm not necessarily panicking.

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Speaker 2: Though not panicking, you should be right, Maybe you should

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Speaker 2: be that he should be.

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Speaker 1: This is maybe you should be.

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Speaker 2: I feel like the fact that you aren't panicking is

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Speaker 2: what's worthing. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty three male and my female friend, who I've

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Speaker 1: known for the most part of my life is currently

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Speaker 1: twenty two.

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Speaker 2: The most part of my life, you know, I guess

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Speaker 2: most of my life the most part of my life.

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Speaker 1: And I still remember us playing every single day as

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Speaker 1: little kids and hanging out almost every day as teenagers.

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Speaker 1: We often went on vacations together with either my or

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Speaker 1: her parents. But I don't know it just like I'm

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Speaker 1: not weirded out yet.

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Speaker 3: First, first I get the girl, I consider her sister pregnant,

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Speaker 3: and then I got her mom pregnant.

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Speaker 2: That would be a story, That would be a story.

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Speaker 2: But like, isn't this like the classic like girl next

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Speaker 2: door kind of thing?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 2: Have you ever had a crush on a family friend?

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Speaker 1: He was a boy, she was she was a girl.

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Speaker 1: It couldn't be any more obvious, couldn't.

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Speaker 2: It couldn't.

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Speaker 1: And it actually, you know, this story might be the

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Speaker 1: story of that.

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Speaker 2: Song, because I think it is the song of the summer.

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Speaker 1: It's fitting pretty well. She was sort of like the

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Speaker 1: sister I never had, sort of.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to come out that they're related, you know,

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Speaker 2: I I'm done with this sort of Let's stop playing

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Speaker 2: the games, playing against.

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Speaker 1: Ip, tiptoeing around the issue.

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Speaker 2: Okay, ancestry dot com, find your twenty three and me

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Speaker 2: and actually give us the deep, the results, the tea,

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Speaker 2: none of this fake tea, none of this Steve.

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Speaker 1: And people are now hearing that I got her pregnant.

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Speaker 1: It feels like it's almost illegal.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot of almost.

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Speaker 1: We'll see a few months ago, I was at her apartment,

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Speaker 1: both of us super wasted, and yeah, it somehow just happened,

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Speaker 1: if you catch my drift. Now, how the heck did

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Speaker 1: she get pregnant? I know there are a few of

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Speaker 1: you who even get pregnant on birth control, but never

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Speaker 1: thought it would happen to us who defunk it.

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Speaker 2: You never think it happens to you.

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Speaker 1: Then you know, you always think it's gonna just be

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Speaker 1: some some random person on a Reddit story.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, it turns out random person is you.

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Speaker 1: She took five pregnancy tests and one week later went

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Speaker 1: to the gynecologist, who confirmed she is pregnant.

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Speaker 2: Oh God, I like, I wonder why they didn't hook

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Speaker 2: up earlier, Like, if they're both like into each other

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Speaker 2: and they've known each other for so.

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Speaker 1: Long, I think I think we'll get more a little

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Speaker 1: more insight into into that. At at the end of

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Speaker 1: the story, we both couldn't bring ourselves to terminate the baby,

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Speaker 1: so we're keeping it. We're financially stable, so I don't

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Speaker 1: think it will be a problem. There we go, salute

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Speaker 1: my guy becoming parents. Here we go life's next great adventure.

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Speaker 1: After accidentally getting the girl considered a sister to be pregnant,

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Speaker 1: we're planning on telling our parents this evening. Now, this

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Speaker 1: is so awkward, since they've seen me grow up with her.

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Speaker 1: The only one who's been shipping us since day one

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Speaker 1: was her grandma. Dude, MEM's Mima's freaking freaking Mimas. No, man,

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Speaker 1: they know it's you know, we have your granny call

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Speaker 1: me up now. I still can't believe I'll have to

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Speaker 1: spend eighteen years of my life, well, not even eighteen

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Speaker 1: years if it's a life commitmentl.

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Speaker 2: I mean more, it's like your kid's always your kids

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Speaker 2: for the rest of your life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, for those of you suggesting to me to get

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Speaker 1: a paternity test. Yes, she even told me that she

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Speaker 1: doesn't mind if I'm doubting that the child is mine,

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Speaker 1: since the scenario is somehow unlikely. She told me that

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Speaker 1: she didn't sleep with another guy for the last two months.

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Speaker 1: I'll be taking a paternity test, but I'm already ninety

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Speaker 1: nine percent sure the child is mine. And there's that

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Speaker 1: pate who Okay, guys, I just went to her parents' house.

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Speaker 1: We actually wanted to go in the evening, as I said,

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Speaker 1: but the sooner the better, I guess. I was really nervous.

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Speaker 1: Her dad was working in the garden and her mom

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Speaker 1: was cleaning around the house.

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Speaker 2: Oh wait, wait, there's sent Okay, I just realized that.

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Speaker 2: We're like, oh my god, we're telling the parents. This

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Speaker 2: isn't crazy diving in. Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: After thirty minutes, everyone was gathered in the kitchen, so

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Speaker 1: we thought a better opportunity wouldn't come, not like the

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Speaker 1: opportunity that already came.

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Speaker 2: My friend, Hey, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: We told them and I could see the horror in

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Speaker 1: their eyes.

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Speaker 2: Oh god.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but they seemed kind of happy, but

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Speaker 1: also shocked.

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Speaker 2: They're like, we wanted this to have it the whole.

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Speaker 1: Time, Yeah, but.

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Speaker 2: But not yet.

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Speaker 1: Probably her mom twenty two and twenty three.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's pretty yeah, it's pretty young. Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: Her mom started tearing up, so I guess she's either

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Speaker 1: happy or disappointed. Her dad asked why we didn't tell

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Speaker 1: them that we were dating, and my god, was that

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Speaker 1: such an awkward moment when both of us didn't reply

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Speaker 1: and gave him the old awkward silence you know when

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Speaker 1: you slip on a banana peel and you ding down

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Speaker 1: just loods see through the pants and everything. They were

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Speaker 1: asking us a bunch of questions and we even called

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Speaker 1: her grandma, telling her that her prediction was right. That's amazing.

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Speaker 1: Grandma's now, Grandma's now. We made up an excuse and left.

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Speaker 1: Later on in the car, she gave me a kiss

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Speaker 1: and told me that she was proud of me. The

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Speaker 1: whole drive, her hand was resting on my thigh, Like,

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Speaker 1: does this mean she likes me?

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Speaker 2: Does dope? You really say that? Yes? Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: g yeah, she likes I wonder.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to misinterpret anything to make things get worse.

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Speaker 2: Well, you have a kid, you don't need to be

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Speaker 2: quiet anymore, just like be upfront. It's not a first date. Well,

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Speaker 2: I guess it kind of is low key though, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it is in a way.

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Speaker 1: In a way, she's a very very kind person in general.

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Speaker 1: So a bunch of guys always thought she liked them. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: she was only being nice. And there's one final update.

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Speaker 2: Okay, let's hear it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, guys, here it is. I discussed everything with her

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Speaker 1: that needed to be discussed. We're planning on moving in

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Speaker 1: together when she's six to seven months pregnant, and we'll

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Speaker 1: see how it works.

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Speaker 2: Wow, roller coaster dude. Yeah, exciting, exciting, You're gonna be

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Speaker 2: a dad opie.

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Speaker 1: We both admitted to having feelings for each other, so

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Speaker 1: we'll see where it goes and leave our relationship. How

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Speaker 1: it is best friends who live together and hook up.

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Speaker 1: I guess, oh oh booee, how I met your mother? Seriously,

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Speaker 1: Season forty, Thanks for all the encouragement, and I lied

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Speaker 1: because there's one final update. I find it sort of

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Speaker 1: funny how people are actually believing that I was oblivious

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Speaker 1: to her liking me, which I actually wasn't.

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Speaker 2: Haha.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like it was.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like it was. Sounds like you're going to cover

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Speaker 2: your tracks, boyoh for being a nerd.

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Speaker 1: Well, maybe a bit realizing that she's been dropping hints

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Speaker 1: since we were sixteen.

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Speaker 2: Since you were sixteen. It's a lot of hints, dude,

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Speaker 2: it's a lot of mishints.

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Speaker 1: The final sentence is sweet. The best feeling is to

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Speaker 1: find a best friend in a lover, and I couldn't

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Speaker 1: imagine loving anyone as much as.

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Speaker 2: I love her. Damn, that's cute, that's adorable. Get shit

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Speaker 2: away for me, though.

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Speaker 1: Congrats are getting your.

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Speaker 2: Sister right away from me. Don't make me sad. Don't

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Speaker 2: make me sad.