1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:05,199 Speaker 1: Lighthouse is a production of I Heart Radio and bamfor Productions. 2 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:11,160 Speaker 1: Thirteen years passed since my father died. Thirteen years since 3 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,640 Speaker 1: something had worked its way into his soul and tried 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,320 Speaker 1: to kill my family using his face as a disguise. 5 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,560 Speaker 1: Thirteen years I lived with the pain of knowing that 6 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:22,240 Speaker 1: I wasn't strong enough to stop him. Though the mental 7 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:25,479 Speaker 1: anguish has lingered, I got off easy compared to my family. 8 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 1: My mother thankfully survived her fall from the second story. However, 9 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 1: she struck her spine in such a way that she 10 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,240 Speaker 1: was confined to a wheelchair. She hadn't lost all mobility 11 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 1: of her legs, but enough of it where she could 12 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: no longer walk on her own. My sister suffered injuries 13 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 1: from the shot gum blasts, but was still able to walk, 14 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,159 Speaker 1: albeit with a limp. But the emotional torment of taking 15 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 1: our father's life, especially in such a brutal way, had 16 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: taken its toll on her. In many ways. She had 17 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: reverted to a more childlike state, a ten year old 18 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,800 Speaker 1: stuck in a late twentysomething's body. I stayed with my 19 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 1: mother and Leni for as long as I could poss 20 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: please stand it. At first, I tried to convince my 21 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: mother to leave, to sell lighthouse and get as far 22 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: away as humanly possible, but she refused for some reason. 23 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 1: She was determined to make it work and keep the 24 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 1: house that she yearned so desperately for. However, for me, 25 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: staying in the house became too much. Seeing them every 26 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 1: day reminded me of that night, of the terror I felt, 27 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 1: of how sure I was that my life was going 28 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 1: to end. The ghosts roaming the halls were quiet for 29 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,559 Speaker 1: some time, the darkness is hunger sated, but it wasn't 30 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:35,360 Speaker 1: long before they returned. I left as soon as I 31 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,680 Speaker 1: was able to. A part of me felt like I 32 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: was a horrible person, abandoning my family during a time 33 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: that they needed me the most. But staying around lighthouse 34 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 1: wallowing and misery as the world just passed by it 35 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 1: was not how I wanted to spend the rest of 36 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 1: my life. Hiding out from the leering gaze of ghosts 37 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 1: and shadow creatures was not something I wanted my world 38 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: to solely consist of. By the time the first anniversary 39 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 1: of my father's death came around, I had packed up 40 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: and gone. At first, I still came to visit, to 41 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,080 Speaker 1: see and care for my mother and my sister to 42 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,080 Speaker 1: make sure they were okay. But soon my visits became 43 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: less and less frequent, until they stopped altogether. Instead, the 44 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: telephone was my only connection left to Lighthouse, and even 45 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 1: then I rushed off the phone as soon as I 46 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 1: possibly could. Even just listening to them depressed me and 47 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 1: brought back too many bad memories. Thirteen years passed since 48 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 1: my father tried to kill us, but it was almost 49 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,240 Speaker 1: ten since I had laid eyes on my mother, or 50 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: my sister, or even my old home. I thought that 51 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 1: this was finally it. I had severed my connection to 52 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: that place of madness once and for all, and I 53 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: would finally be free of its curse. I was naive 54 00:02:45,200 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 1: to think I would never set foot in Lighthouse again. Lighthouse, 55 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:34,360 Speaker 1: Chapter five. For almost ten years, my life was normal, 56 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: blissfully so as a life of boring mediocrity was exactly 57 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 1: what I wanted. After those first stressful years of my life, 58 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: I decided that I needed to move as far away 59 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: from Lighthouse as possible, away from the ocean at the time, 60 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: and with the money I had that translated into Newark, Maryland. 61 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: It wasn't the most wonderful place in the world, but 62 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 1: it was not Lighthouse, and that was good enough for me. 63 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: I got a job as a secretary for a construction 64 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 1: company and made enough to live comfortably on my own. 65 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 1: I made a few friends, creating some lasting relationships, and 66 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 1: for the first time in a long time, I was happy. 67 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,279 Speaker 1: About a year after I moved there, I met Chris. 68 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: He had just moved into town and recently got a 69 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,479 Speaker 1: job as a driver for the same company I worked for. 70 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 1: We talked, flirted, even endlessly for months, until finally he 71 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 1: worked up the there of to ask me how We 72 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 1: were married a year later. It was a small ceremony 73 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,240 Speaker 1: at the courthouse with just a few close friends and 74 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:38,239 Speaker 1: his family and attendance. I invited my mother and my sister, 75 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 1: but it wasn't a surprise when they didn't show up. 76 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 1: In truth, I was relieved I had kept my past 77 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 1: and my family a secret from my new friends, so 78 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,280 Speaker 1: that saved me from having to explain the hardships I've 79 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: been through. Life with Chris was great. Like all relationships, 80 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: there were ups and downs, but Chris remained by my 81 00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 1: side and I by his through all of them. We 82 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 1: had a modest apartment together that eventually turned into a 83 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:07,480 Speaker 1: nice condo, and then into our own home, a home 84 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:12,600 Speaker 1: that was nothing like Lighthouse. Soon that home was haunted 85 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: by an entity other than us, a baby boy named Kevin. 86 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 1: His laughter echoed through our halls, just as his cries 87 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: echoed through the night. He was our pride and joy, 88 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,839 Speaker 1: and we loved him with everything we had. Chris wanted 89 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 1: to name him after my side of the family, but 90 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 1: I was not going to be reminded of what I 91 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 1: left behind, and so we settled on the name of 92 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:40,040 Speaker 1: his great grandfather. Things were good. I was happy, We 93 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 1: were happy, and then the nightmares started. The details of 94 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,919 Speaker 1: them varied from night to night, but the subject matter 95 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: was always the same Lighthouse. Sometimes I was a child again, 96 00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 1: running through the halls, playing with my sister, before coming 97 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,720 Speaker 1: across the residence of the house I tried so hard 98 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: to forget. Sometimes I was being chased by the shadowy thing, 99 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 1: gaining on my heels as it jumped in and out 100 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 1: of the walls to get to me. Sometimes it was 101 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 1: of the lighthouse on the bluff, the dim glow from 102 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 1: the top shining down on me until it became so 103 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 1: bright that I went blind. It got bad enough that 104 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:20,480 Speaker 1: Chris suggested I go see a therapist. Jan was her name. 105 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: At first I was unsure about her. I had seen 106 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 1: enough doctors during my youth that I had grown skeptical 107 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,919 Speaker 1: of them, But over time I began to open up 108 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: to her. In fact, I found that I had bottled 109 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: up so much of my past for so long that 110 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: it was a relief to get it off my chest. 111 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,359 Speaker 1: She was interested in my medical records from when I 112 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,160 Speaker 1: was a child, but at last I did not have 113 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 1: copies of them, and I was hesitant to reach out 114 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,479 Speaker 1: to my mother for them. Who knew if she even 115 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 1: had them any longer, I filled in the blanks as 116 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:56,600 Speaker 1: best I could. I saw things, and my parents were concerned. 117 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 1: I got brave enough with her that I even told 118 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 1: told her of the things in the house. I was 119 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,600 Speaker 1: afraid she would laugh, that she would not believe me, 120 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:09,279 Speaker 1: but she just listened intently and gave her advice. Afterward, 121 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: Jan was wonderful and truly believed the nightmares were manifestations 122 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 1: of my not completely dealing with the past. Also, to 123 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:20,640 Speaker 1: be fair, she wasn't wrong. I had not really dealt 124 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 1: with the ramifications of that night with my father, nor 125 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 1: everything that came before. As for the ghostly dwellers in Lighthouse. 126 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 1: She did have a purely scientific theory about their existence, 127 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 1: especially based on my medical issues as a child. Considering 128 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:39,239 Speaker 1: how my family unit had deteriorated over time, she felt 129 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: that both my sister and I had a sort of 130 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 1: shared delusion that sounds much worse than it actually is. 131 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,920 Speaker 1: But in short, we created a scenario to help us 132 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 1: better cope with the conditions of our home life. Instead 133 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,880 Speaker 1: of our father beating our mother, we believed that a 134 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 1: dark entity in our home was causing him to do so. 135 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 1: Psycho analytical assumptions aside, it did make sense, especially given 136 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: that I had a history of such In fact, I 137 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:12,360 Speaker 1: even believed that explanation myself for a while, but in 138 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 1: my heart I knew that was not true. I was 139 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 1: cured when I was a child, so there was none 140 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 1: of that left in me. Instead, the things living in 141 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 1: the dark of Lighthouse were real. They had to be. 142 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 1: Around the time we entered the nineties, my nightmares stopped 143 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 1: being nightmares and stepped into the real world in one 144 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 1: of the most frightening ways possible. Chris was at work 145 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: and I had the day off, so I decided to 146 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 1: take Keaven for a walk to the park. He had 147 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,679 Speaker 1: a lot of energy that morning, and I thought it 148 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,360 Speaker 1: would be best for him to expel it there. He 149 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,560 Speaker 1: was four at the time, the prime age for running 150 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,720 Speaker 1: around and playing with other children on the playground. It 151 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,319 Speaker 1: was dreary that day, the sun not quite burning through 152 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:58,120 Speaker 1: the clouds yet, but the park was crowded. Nonetheless, by 153 00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 1: the time we made it to the playground, I had 154 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 1: early said the words be careful before Kevin took off 155 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 1: to be with his friends. I sat down on a 156 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: bench nearby, watching him weave in and out of you 157 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:13,080 Speaker 1: as I sipped on my coffee. Some of the other 158 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 1: mothers I was friendly with came and went, sharing a 159 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 1: few scattered conversations before they moved on to say hello 160 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 1: to the others. My eyes kept watching the playground as 161 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,440 Speaker 1: the sea of children movements sometimes made it difficult to 162 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:30,439 Speaker 1: see Kevin, sending momentary waves of panic through me, but 163 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 1: he always reappeared A few seconds later. I was in 164 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 1: the middle of speaking to another mom about a sale 165 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,960 Speaker 1: a local grocer was having on apples, a typically mundane 166 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,439 Speaker 1: thing to be talking about, when something caught my eye 167 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,840 Speaker 1: at the far end of the playground, through the jungle 168 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:52,360 Speaker 1: gym area, and beyond the swings stood a man. He 169 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: was hard to make out, as the children swinging back 170 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:57,200 Speaker 1: and forth on the swings made it somewhat difficult to 171 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 1: get a good look at him. But the more I 172 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,880 Speaker 1: stared in his direction, the more I realized he was 173 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:07,840 Speaker 1: looking down at something or someone. Rather. This man gave 174 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,200 Speaker 1: me a bad feeling, so my eyes darted around the 175 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 1: playground looking for Kevin, just to make sure he was safe. 176 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: But I didn't see him, not running around, not coming 177 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:19,000 Speaker 1: down the slide, not even playing ball in the field. 178 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:22,439 Speaker 1: I stood up, my eyes continued to search on the 179 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:24,880 Speaker 1: verge of panic. When I looked back to the man, 180 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 1: he still stood there, looking down, nodding his head at 181 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:35,319 Speaker 1: a child, and I realized that child was Kevin, my son, 182 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,680 Speaker 1: talking to this stranger. I started to walk that direction, 183 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,960 Speaker 1: weaving in and out of running children, to get my 184 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 1: son away from this strange man. As I did, the 185 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 1: man looked up and locked eyes with me, stopping me 186 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:51,560 Speaker 1: cold in my tracks. It was then that I realized 187 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 1: he was wearing an Edwardian coat with a bowler hat 188 00:10:55,520 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: atop his head. He smiled at me and chilled me. 189 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: It had been so long since I had seen him that. 190 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:06,600 Speaker 1: It caught me off guard. As soon as my mind 191 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:10,280 Speaker 1: registered who it was. It was the man in the hat, 192 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:17,200 Speaker 1: hundreds of miles from lighthouse here with my son, My 193 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 1: entire world went blank and I saw nothing but him. 194 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 1: What was he doing here? How did he get here? 195 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,400 Speaker 1: What did he want? I broke into a run, swerving 196 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: around kids, even knocking one out of my way, to 197 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 1: get to him. It took me longer than I hoped. 198 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 1: As I ran, my eyes locked on them. As I looked, 199 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,880 Speaker 1: the man in the hat simply disappeared into thin air. 200 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 1: By the time I reached Kevin, I was terrified. I 201 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:48,679 Speaker 1: grabbed him and asked him what happened. He just looked 202 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:52,520 Speaker 1: at me with white eyes, Confused. I asked him about 203 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,320 Speaker 1: the man in the hat, but he didn't know what 204 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:58,040 Speaker 1: I was talking about. He had no recollection of seeing him, 205 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,960 Speaker 1: and instead was angry that I was keeping him from playing. 206 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,719 Speaker 1: He tried to squirm out of my grip, but we 207 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 1: needed to go. There was no chance I was going 208 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,240 Speaker 1: to stay there after what I had seen. I dragged 209 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,840 Speaker 1: Kevin home, almost kicking and screaming, and tried to put 210 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: it out of my mind. When Chris came home that night. 211 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 1: I told him I wasn't feeling well and went to bed. 212 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:21,400 Speaker 1: When sleep finally did come, it was restless. I awoke 213 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,440 Speaker 1: in the middle of the night from a nightmare when 214 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 1: that involved lighthouse again. Unfortunately, I could not get back 215 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 1: to sleep. Not wanting to wake Chris, I went into 216 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,960 Speaker 1: the living room to try to pass the time. I 217 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,960 Speaker 1: made myself some tea and was about to settle down 218 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 1: to watch some television when something compelled me to take 219 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,560 Speaker 1: a look out the window. I went over to it, 220 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:47,120 Speaker 1: almost as if under some kind of spell, and lifted 221 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 1: the curtain back to see into the night. My eyes 222 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 1: weren't quite adjusted yet, so it was just a blank 223 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:57,080 Speaker 1: canvas before me. But soon the black blobs of the 224 00:12:57,120 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 1: evening took shape and I looked around. Was normal at 225 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:06,720 Speaker 1: first glance, until I looked up the street. They're standing 226 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,680 Speaker 1: under a street light was the man in the hat. 227 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,720 Speaker 1: I gasped and nearly dropped my tea. He stared in 228 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,600 Speaker 1: my direction as I tried to remain calm and did 229 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:19,280 Speaker 1: the only thing I could do I think I hadn't 230 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:23,079 Speaker 1: done in some time. I closed my eyes and I 231 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 1: counted to five, one, two, three, four five, I opened 232 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:45,240 Speaker 1: my eyes and he was still there, tipping his hat 233 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 1: as he smiled. I quickly moved back from the window, 234 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,720 Speaker 1: replacing the curtain again. I didn't want to see him anymore, 235 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,080 Speaker 1: nor did I want him to see me. But over 236 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 1: the coming days it didn't matter. Anytime I closed my eyes, 237 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,959 Speaker 1: I saw him standing there smile at me, a byproduct 238 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 1: of my imagination. But it wasn't long before he sprung 239 00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:08,400 Speaker 1: from my mind and started to appear in my everyday 240 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:12,319 Speaker 1: life in the aisles of the grocery store, the hallways, 241 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:16,360 Speaker 1: at work, outside Kevin's school on the street corner as 242 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 1: I drove by, the man in the hat was back, 243 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 1: and he wanted me to notice him. After a few 244 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,360 Speaker 1: days of this, I couldn't stand it anymore. I called 245 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,960 Speaker 1: Jan and asked if we could move my appointment up. 246 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 1: Jan listened and did her best to try to comfort 247 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: me about it, but for some reason it didn't help. 248 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 1: His reappearance back in my life shook me to my core, 249 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:42,600 Speaker 1: and my usual coping mechanisms were not helping. So Jan 250 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 1: suggested something unorthodox. Perhaps you're seeing him is your mind's 251 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,480 Speaker 1: unconscious way of letting you know you need closure. She 252 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 1: told me closure for what I asked her. Your father's death, 253 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 1: your repressed childhood, your guilt over leaving your family behind 254 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,400 Speaker 1: in your new life life. She said, perhaps it's time 255 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 1: you went back home to confront your fears so you 256 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:07,200 Speaker 1: can put them behind you once and for all. Maybe 257 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 1: if you looked hard enough, you might find some answers 258 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 1: to the questions you seek. Questions I asked about the house, 259 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,880 Speaker 1: it's history, your family. You said your father didn't talk 260 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,000 Speaker 1: much about his family before you moved into Lighthouse. Maybe 261 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:26,000 Speaker 1: if you learned more about them, these things won't bother 262 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:29,080 Speaker 1: you as much. Maybe if you learn about this man 263 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 1: in the hat who he is, maybe he will go away. 264 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 1: I rejected the thought the moment she said it, But 265 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,760 Speaker 1: as I left my session and saw the man in 266 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 1: the hat waiting to tip his hat toward me on 267 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:45,600 Speaker 1: my way to the parking lot, I reconsidered. That night, 268 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:49,480 Speaker 1: I debated it the pros and the cons to try 269 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 1: to come up with another solution, but none came to mind, 270 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,120 Speaker 1: and the thought of seeing him every day for the 271 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,920 Speaker 1: rest of my life, ruining the piece I had created 272 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:02,560 Speaker 1: for myself was too much to bear. For the sake 273 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 1: of my family, my Chris and my little Kevin. I 274 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:08,480 Speaker 1: knew what I had to do. It was time to 275 00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:18,119 Speaker 1: go back to Lighthouse. Lighthouse will return after these messages, 276 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 1: and now back to Lighthouse. The road back to Lighthouse 277 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,400 Speaker 1: was not an easy one. Though only a few hundred 278 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 1: miles from my new home, the drive was long and arduous. 279 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 1: My car, usually reliable in all conditions, broke down along 280 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 1: the turnpike on my journey there. The repairs were going 281 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,920 Speaker 1: to take a few days, so I left it with 282 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,920 Speaker 1: a mechanic and took a loaner for the rest of 283 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:55,600 Speaker 1: the route. The loner was not nearly as reliable as 284 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,640 Speaker 1: my car and was prone to overheating. I had to 285 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,840 Speaker 1: refill the water and let it cooled down every few hours. 286 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,639 Speaker 1: The stopping and starting was grating on my nerves. I 287 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,359 Speaker 1: was anxious to just get there, already to be done 288 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,640 Speaker 1: with my visit, but vehicles were not making it any 289 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:16,080 Speaker 1: easier on me, nor was my family. I called my 290 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,320 Speaker 1: mother before I left, letting her know that I was 291 00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:21,280 Speaker 1: coming for a visit. She was cold over the phone, 292 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,199 Speaker 1: uninterested in hearing from her eldest daughter, but agreeing to 293 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:28,200 Speaker 1: let me stop by. She hung up before I had 294 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,160 Speaker 1: the chance to tell her when I would get there. 295 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,720 Speaker 1: I guess it was going to be a surprise. By 296 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,080 Speaker 1: the time I pulled into the driveway, the car was 297 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 1: on its last legs. Smoke was billowing from beneath the hood, 298 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,800 Speaker 1: and rather than attempting to make it the last half 299 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 1: mile to the house, I just pulled over and left 300 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:48,040 Speaker 1: it there, lighthouse looming in the not so far distance, 301 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 1: I walked toward it slowly, apprehension taking hold of me. 302 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 1: Ten years had passed since I had last seen the house, 303 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,000 Speaker 1: but from the way things looked, it may as well 304 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: have been fifty. The grounds of the house were in disarray, 305 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,480 Speaker 1: the great lawn filled with tall weaves and neglect. The 306 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 1: red oak tree out front, though still a massive presence, 307 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:13,679 Speaker 1: was dying, its withered branches twisting downward. A lighthouse still 308 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:16,840 Speaker 1: stood on the bluff, a dark shape against the gray sky. 309 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,439 Speaker 1: The house itself was no better, with peeling paint at 310 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 1: every corner and loose shutters hanging off their hinges. If 311 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 1: I hadn't known any better, I would have thought it 312 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,280 Speaker 1: to be abandoned. The house finely reflected what I had 313 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:33,399 Speaker 1: always thought of it, rotten and neglected. When I reached 314 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:37,160 Speaker 1: the porch. The steps creaked underneath me, and I held 315 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,240 Speaker 1: my breath. I wasn't ready to face my family or 316 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 1: whatever waited for me in lighthouse. I had no choice. 317 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,119 Speaker 1: I was already there. I knocked on the door before 318 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,359 Speaker 1: I lost more of my nerve and waited. It was 319 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 1: an unusually long time of no one answering before I 320 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:56,800 Speaker 1: knocked again. I was a bit nervous that something was wrong, 321 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 1: that something had happened to my mother or to Leini. 322 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,160 Speaker 1: But the second knock did the trick. Beyond the door, 323 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 1: I heard some muffled cursing as someone struggled to unlock it. 324 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:10,560 Speaker 1: When the door screeched open, I was surprised to find 325 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 1: an older woman in a wheelchair that I did not 326 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:16,199 Speaker 1: recognize answering it. It wasn't until she spoke that I 327 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,480 Speaker 1: realized that this was in a stranger But my mother 328 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 1: aged as much as the house itself. I was taken 329 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 1: aback and couldn't respond to her first inquiry, having missed 330 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:31,040 Speaker 1: it completely, But her second, more forceful and angrier, brought 331 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:34,920 Speaker 1: me back to reality. What do you want, she growled, 332 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: ready to close the door in my face. Mom, it's me, 333 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:43,119 Speaker 1: It's Tara. She gave me a lingering once over, but 334 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: instead of responding, she just rolled backward away from the 335 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 1: door and into the bowels of the house. I took 336 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 1: that as my unspoken invitation to come in. I pushed 337 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,040 Speaker 1: the door open, standing on the threshold between my old 338 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 1: life and my new I hesitated before stepping in, realizing 339 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 1: that I still had a choice. But the second I 340 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:07,760 Speaker 1: went in, the choice was made. Instantly, my body tensed, 341 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 1: and I felt that dread long since forgotten wash over 342 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,240 Speaker 1: me again. I imagined the man in the hat behind me, 343 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,920 Speaker 1: placing his hands on my shoulders, says a welcome home gesture. 344 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:23,800 Speaker 1: I shivered. Close the goddamn door. You're letting the air in. 345 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,320 Speaker 1: Came my mother's voice from the other room. I did 346 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:31,040 Speaker 1: as she commanded and slowly walked after her. Being back 347 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: in Lighthouse was worse than I had imagined. Every negative 348 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 1: emotion I had toward it was amplified, and every voice 349 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,600 Speaker 1: in my head rang out, begging me to leave. But 350 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,960 Speaker 1: I was back, and it's uninviting embrace, and I got 351 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 1: the sense it was all too happy to see me. 352 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,439 Speaker 1: Following my mother's voice through the house, I walked past 353 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,880 Speaker 1: my father's study, the door was shut, and what part 354 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,800 Speaker 1: of me wanted to look inside, the other part demanded 355 00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 1: I stay far away. I was struck by the lack 356 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 1: of lighting fixtures being used. Instead, candles lined the hallways, 357 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,480 Speaker 1: both on the floor and furniture. They're melted wax, making 358 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,720 Speaker 1: it look like one big altar. The rooms I passed 359 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,680 Speaker 1: looked like more of the same. Perhaps the electric bill 360 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:17,520 Speaker 1: was too high to keep the room slight. Eventually I 361 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,119 Speaker 1: found her in the library. She had rolled into the 362 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,919 Speaker 1: center of the room, cigarette in hand, sending puffs of 363 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 1: smoke into the air. She stared hard at me, but 364 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 1: wouldn't break the silence on her own. It's good to 365 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,240 Speaker 1: see you, I told her, trying to be friendly. She 366 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,400 Speaker 1: was my mother, after all, and though it had been 367 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 1: some time since we had seen each other, let alone spoken, 368 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:42,200 Speaker 1: I still loved her. Her icy demeanor chilled the room, 369 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,880 Speaker 1: sending a shiver through me, which was a welcome countermeasure 370 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,640 Speaker 1: to the sweat I had broken out into. Why are 371 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:52,440 Speaker 1: you here, tera, she asked me, her eyes never leaving me. 372 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,679 Speaker 1: I was unsure how to respond to her, as what 373 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,040 Speaker 1: I really wanted to say would not be something she 374 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:02,560 Speaker 1: wanted to hear. Thanks Lee A voice from above saved me. 375 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,760 Speaker 1: She's family, Mother, said, my sister, who was sitting on 376 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:11,760 Speaker 1: the spiral staircase previously unnoticed. She missed us. Leni stood, 377 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,520 Speaker 1: looking down at me with a warm smile. Hello, Leny, 378 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,040 Speaker 1: it's so good to see you, I told her, and 379 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,760 Speaker 1: I actually meant it. I hadn't seen my sister in 380 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 1: far too long, and I was so glad. She was 381 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 1: happy I was here. She limped down the stairs and 382 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,480 Speaker 1: ran as best as she could across the room to 383 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:33,440 Speaker 1: hug me. I'm so glad you're home, she exclaimed, I've 384 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:36,960 Speaker 1: missed you. She was wearing a nightgown, I noticed, even 385 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,119 Speaker 1: though it was close to too in the afternoon. But 386 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,840 Speaker 1: it was Saturday, so who was I to judge her 387 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,200 Speaker 1: for having a lazy day. However, more concerning was that 388 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 1: clutched in her hand. Was Abigail still around after all 389 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,399 Speaker 1: these years? Mother? Don't you want to give Tara a hug? 390 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:56,440 Speaker 1: She said? My mother merely grunted in response, but Leni 391 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,800 Speaker 1: pushed me toward her anyway. I embraced her, though it 392 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,680 Speaker 1: is very one sided. Her fingers barely grace my back, 393 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,920 Speaker 1: more an act of courtesy than one of love. In 394 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:10,800 Speaker 1: that close proximity to her, I realized she wreaked of alcohol. 395 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:15,840 Speaker 1: Oh we will have so much fun, LEONEI continued. We 396 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,000 Speaker 1: can play games and have a tea party and do 397 00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 1: all sorts of things again now that you're home. I 398 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:25,240 Speaker 1: smiled weakly in response, realizing how badly she had regretted 399 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,800 Speaker 1: since the incident with my father, I was certain she 400 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,240 Speaker 1: did not have much of a life beyond the walls 401 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,600 Speaker 1: of Lighthouse. She continued on, I will make up your 402 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,399 Speaker 1: old bed and we can go out to the garden 403 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,920 Speaker 1: to see I'm not staying, Leonie, I interrupted her. I'm 404 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:43,400 Speaker 1: just here for a quick visit. My mother grunted in response. 405 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 1: Ten years you abandon us. I should expect nothing less. Mother, 406 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 1: Leanie said, I'm sorry, Tara. She doesn't mean it. We're 407 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:57,440 Speaker 1: just happy for whatever time you spend with us. She smiled, 408 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 1: but I could see the hurt behind it. I don't 409 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,440 Speaker 1: want to be any bother, I told them, I will 410 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:07,400 Speaker 1: just I came to see something. I will be out 411 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 1: of your hair soon. My mother flicked her cigarette into 412 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,280 Speaker 1: a nearby ashtray and rolled her way out of the room. 413 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,680 Speaker 1: Mary a look in my direction. I heard the mechanical 414 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 1: whir of the chair lift a moment later, something that 415 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 1: we had installed shortly after my mother was confined to 416 00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 1: the chair so she could still go up and down 417 00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:28,680 Speaker 1: the stairs. Don't mind her, LENI told me, come sit 418 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,560 Speaker 1: with me. What did you come to see? Abigail said, 419 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,680 Speaker 1: she miss you too. Leni grabbed my arms and pulled 420 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:36,639 Speaker 1: me down onto the couch next to her, like a 421 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,800 Speaker 1: teenage girl waiting for the latest gossip. I ignored her 422 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,119 Speaker 1: Abigail comment, avoiding the bear's dead eye gaze as it 423 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:48,879 Speaker 1: made me uncomfortable. Lenie, I began, have you I trailed 424 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:52,000 Speaker 1: off there because a grown woman asking another grown woman 425 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:55,320 Speaker 1: if she still sees ghosts seemed ridiculous to me. I 426 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,119 Speaker 1: waited a moment to collect my thoughts and started again, 427 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:03,880 Speaker 1: Do you still, mhm see things? She tilted her head 428 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,399 Speaker 1: to the side as if confused by my question. The 429 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,480 Speaker 1: things that live in the house. I mean like Abigail, 430 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:16,000 Speaker 1: she said, smiling again. Abigail is my best friend. I 431 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,920 Speaker 1: mean more like other things. I said, like the man 432 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:24,720 Speaker 1: in the hat. Oh, she replied, her smile turning into 433 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:28,879 Speaker 1: a frown. We don't like him. I saw him, I 434 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:32,080 Speaker 1: told her. At home, My my home, with my son 435 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,879 Speaker 1: at the park and then a few other places as well. 436 00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,920 Speaker 1: You have a son, she interrupted me, I have a nephew. 437 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 1: I sent you a letter about it with some photos. Oh, 438 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:46,280 Speaker 1: she said, her eyes cast downward. Mother doesn't let me 439 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,480 Speaker 1: read much mail. I was about to say something else, 440 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:53,000 Speaker 1: to apologize even and question just what my mother thought 441 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,119 Speaker 1: she was doing keeping things from my sister, but Lenny 442 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,679 Speaker 1: had other ideas. Do you want to see something, she 443 00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,679 Speaker 1: her face lighting up again. Come with me. She grabbed 444 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,000 Speaker 1: my arm again and pulled me out of the room. 445 00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:08,679 Speaker 1: She dragged me through the dining room and into the kitchen. 446 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,840 Speaker 1: She guided me toward the pantry, and I realized where 447 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,600 Speaker 1: we were going. I tried to pull back to stop 448 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,480 Speaker 1: our progress, but Lenny was unnaturally strong. There was no 449 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:22,200 Speaker 1: stopping her, no question where she was taking me. We 450 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,920 Speaker 1: were going down to the basement, and inevitably to the 451 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:36,480 Speaker 1: dark room. Lighthouse were returned after a word from our sponsors, 452 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:51,800 Speaker 1: and now Lighthouse continues like a prisoner being led to 453 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:55,119 Speaker 1: his execution. I followed my sister, using a candle to 454 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,800 Speaker 1: guide her path down into the depths of the basement, 455 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,680 Speaker 1: through the maze of discarded junk, toward the dark room. 456 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 1: I stopped short just before the doorway. As Leni crouched 457 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:08,480 Speaker 1: to get inside, I froze and thought of the last 458 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:12,399 Speaker 1: time I set foot inside. So dark, my imagination filled 459 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 1: in the gaps, forming a dark brown stain in the 460 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,520 Speaker 1: dirt where my father took his final breath. Lenie pulled 461 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,360 Speaker 1: the chain and the darkness was eliminated by the red light. 462 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:26,200 Speaker 1: Looking inside, nothing had changed. It was still as small 463 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,320 Speaker 1: as ever, more so now that I was older. The 464 00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,400 Speaker 1: shelf was still filled with old chemicals and photo albums. 465 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,399 Speaker 1: The work bench was still there, standing guard. But I 466 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:40,679 Speaker 1: also noticed a few more things discarded, food containers, books, 467 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:45,400 Speaker 1: a flashlight, and a blanket and a pillow. Despite everything 468 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:50,080 Speaker 1: that had happened, Lenie was still coming down here. This room, 469 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:54,360 Speaker 1: with its horrific memories and oppressed feelings, was still her 470 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 1: safe haven. In a way, it made sense. My mother, 471 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:01,359 Speaker 1: as she became more and were bitter as the years 472 00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:03,840 Speaker 1: went on, could not make her way down the stairs 473 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:07,720 Speaker 1: in her wheelchair. LENI was safe from her here. I 474 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:12,200 Speaker 1: didn't want to go in, but Lenie waved me inside hesitantly. 475 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:15,679 Speaker 1: I crouched down and stepped through the doorway. It was 476 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,080 Speaker 1: cramped with both of us in there, but she didn't 477 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:21,080 Speaker 1: seem to mind. She placed Abigail on her candle on 478 00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:26,080 Speaker 1: the workbench before disappearing. Underneath here, too were puddles of 479 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:30,560 Speaker 1: melted wax covering those surfaces, the work bench, the shelf, 480 00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:35,160 Speaker 1: and even the ground. I heard her rustling around, as 481 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:38,080 Speaker 1: if looking for something. My heart dropped for a moment, 482 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,840 Speaker 1: thinking that perhaps the knife, the one that had killed 483 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,920 Speaker 1: my father, was still hidden under there. That was silly, 484 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 1: of course, because the police had taken that as evidence 485 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:50,880 Speaker 1: long ago. Still the idea persisted, and I took a 486 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 1: cautionary step back as Leni crawled out from beneath it. 487 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 1: In her hands was an old cardboard box. She placed 488 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,560 Speaker 1: it on the work bench before blowing off a cloud 489 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 1: of dust. She presented it to me with a flourish giggling, 490 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:09,760 Speaker 1: like a child proud of her work. I was unsure 491 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,560 Speaker 1: of what it was, and told her as much. She 492 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:15,840 Speaker 1: seemed almost disappointed that I didn't know, so she opened 493 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:19,240 Speaker 1: the box and pulled out something from inside, a reel 494 00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:23,120 Speaker 1: to reel tape recorder. It was ancient, looking, like something 495 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:26,040 Speaker 1: out of the nineteen thirties. I would have been surprised 496 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:29,880 Speaker 1: if it even worked, but Leney, still giggling, placed it 497 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:33,520 Speaker 1: on the bench and searched through the box again. This 498 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:37,480 Speaker 1: time she pulled out some metal canisters. She handed one 499 00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:40,320 Speaker 1: over to me, and I read the label August and 500 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:45,760 Speaker 1: September ninety. I opened it and found a real spooled 501 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:51,640 Speaker 1: up inside. What are these, I asked her, and she smiled, history, 502 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:57,320 Speaker 1: she replied, of the house Abigail found them, Ignoring her, 503 00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,040 Speaker 1: Abigail comment, I studied the real in my hand and 504 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:04,000 Speaker 1: my mind racing about its contents. This was exactly what 505 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,840 Speaker 1: Jan was talking about. This could help me find out 506 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,120 Speaker 1: more about my father's family. What did they reveal? What 507 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:14,720 Speaker 1: revelations did they contain? Have you listened? I asked her. 508 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:19,480 Speaker 1: A few, she replied, I got bored, but some of 509 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 1: them didn't work too Scratchy couldn't make out the recordings, 510 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,280 Speaker 1: but this one, she pointed to, the one in my hands. 511 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:30,120 Speaker 1: I didn't listen to it yet, Abigail said I should 512 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,920 Speaker 1: wait for you. I was scared, scared of what the 513 00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:37,200 Speaker 1: tape contained, scared of listening to it in the dark room, 514 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:41,080 Speaker 1: and scared as to why Abigail wanted Leni to wait 515 00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,760 Speaker 1: for me. I felt on the verge of going mad, 516 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,360 Speaker 1: and I wanted to suggest that we take the player, 517 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,440 Speaker 1: or the tapes and the whole house and just burn 518 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,480 Speaker 1: it to the ground. But then Leni took my hand 519 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:56,400 Speaker 1: and smiled. I nodded and handed the reel back to 520 00:30:56,440 --> 00:31:00,120 Speaker 1: her as she delicately removed it from the canister and 521 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:05,720 Speaker 1: loaded it into the player. It's screeched to life. It's antique, motorized, 522 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:10,760 Speaker 1: insides groaning after so many years of disuse. The tape scratched, 523 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:13,600 Speaker 1: and for an instant I was sure it wouldn't play. 524 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:18,120 Speaker 1: But then a voice sprung forth from it, startling us 525 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 1: both there in the dim red glow of the dark room. 526 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,920 Speaker 1: We listened intently as he revealed a secret that Lighthouse 527 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:36,280 Speaker 1: had kept for many, many years. This is Dr Albright. 528 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:42,360 Speaker 1: The data is August the time christ I don't even 529 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:45,560 Speaker 1: know what time it is. These are my final notes 530 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:52,320 Speaker 1: for Patient three two, File zero three to one. When 531 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:56,200 Speaker 1: I became a doctor, I took an oath, one that 532 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:59,680 Speaker 1: made me swear to help those in need. And I 533 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:03,880 Speaker 1: can't help but feel like I failed here, that that 534 00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:07,560 Speaker 1: we we did something wrong, that this will be a 535 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,560 Speaker 1: stain on my soul for the rest of my life. 536 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,120 Speaker 1: Every time I closed my eyes, I can I can 537 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:17,600 Speaker 1: see her, I can hear or screams or or please 538 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:23,440 Speaker 1: for help. Did we make the right decision? I thought 539 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:27,640 Speaker 1: so at first, but now I don't know. She was 540 00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:58,000 Speaker 1: she was so young. Lighthouse is a production of I 541 00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:02,720 Speaker 1: Heart Radio in Bamford produc Auctions. Chapter five featured the 542 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:07,040 Speaker 1: voice of Ali Trasher, written and directed by Jeff Himbuck, 543 00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:12,760 Speaker 1: audio engineering, an original musical score by Corey Celeste. Production 544 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:19,760 Speaker 1: assistance by Alex Gona. Executive produced by Holly Fry. Questions comments, 545 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,320 Speaker 1: you can reach us at the Man in the Hat 546 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,800 Speaker 1: is Watching at gmail dot com. Thank you for listening.