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Speaker 1: It's time for the b a q a a to

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Speaker 1: b a q a. What you say the b a

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Speaker 1: q a, no mandad the b a q a just tip,

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Speaker 1: just tip ate the b a q a a. Some

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Speaker 1: of y'all might know, man, he's not currently here. Her

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Speaker 1: father was hospitalized. He's doing much better. But she's not here,

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Speaker 1: but she will be back, so you know, send her

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Speaker 1: her your love and prayers and thoughts. She would definitely

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Speaker 1: appreciate that. This is brawdh abih. Question to answers you

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Speaker 1: have question, I have some answers. Ish. What that means

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Speaker 1: is I'm not your accountant, I'm not your mama, I'm

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Speaker 1: not your financial advisor, your attorney child. I'm just your

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Speaker 1: cute internet financial cousin that knows a thing or two

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Speaker 1: about money and financing, etcetera, etcetera. Well, that means, though

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Speaker 1: you are going to lead to these people that you

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Speaker 1: pay for the final say on this advice. Okay, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: so your grandma not us? All right? Do you have questions?

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Speaker 1: The best way to do it is you can email

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Speaker 1: us at Brownambition Podcast at gmail dot com. You can

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Speaker 1: go to Brown Ambition Podcast dot com and click the

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Speaker 1: contact us button or really just sliding our dms on

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Speaker 1: ig Brown Ambition Podcast. Okay, we got some questions today, Honey,

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Speaker 1: I'm not the let me see. I'm gonna call this.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna call this messy. Okay, we're gonna

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Speaker 1: call miss messy. Hi, Hope all is well. I'm a

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Speaker 1: fan of your podcast. I absolutely love it. Learned a

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Speaker 1: lot about it through Tiffany. I've been following her for

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Speaker 1: some time and I love her too. Thanks girl, She said,

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Speaker 1: I have a question. It's messy. Ooh child. You know

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Speaker 1: you know me. I like a little mess man. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So back in spring twenty twenty one, my sister asked

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Speaker 1: me to borrow my Instacart account to make deliveries and

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Speaker 1: I gave it to her. My boyfriend at the time

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Speaker 1: then told me to tell her to stop using it

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Speaker 1: because he's knowledgeable. On ten ninety nine and said I'd

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Speaker 1: have to pay the irs come tax season. So ten

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Speaker 1: ninety nine basically, it is this tax paper that you

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Speaker 1: get that says this is what you made this year. Right,

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Speaker 1: So the employer said, this person is not my employee,

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Speaker 1: but I did pay them on behalf of the business.

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Speaker 1: So because they're not my employee. I didn't pay taxes

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Speaker 1: for them. They have to pay taxes for themselves. But

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Speaker 1: basically it's the employer rule telling the irs, go ahead

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Speaker 1: and get your money, because here's the ten ninety nine,

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Speaker 1: the proof that this person was paid but not no

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Speaker 1: taxes were taken out. That's what a ten ninety nine is.

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Speaker 1: Fast forward to tax season in the winter. I received

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Speaker 1: my annual income of about thirty five thousand dollars, as

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Speaker 1: well as a ten ninety nine that said I earned

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Speaker 1: about twenty one thousand dollars. Knowing well, knowing good and well,

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Speaker 1: I did not work instacart. I was shocked and confused.

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Speaker 1: I had already filed before for opening that envelope who

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Speaker 1: for the ten ninety nine, and my tax person said

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Speaker 1: I received a three thousand dollars tax return, so she

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Speaker 1: was ready. I was excited and have plans. Of course

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Speaker 1: you did. Then I brought the ten ninety nine and

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Speaker 1: he said I would actually owe the three thousand dollars.

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Speaker 1: And then some Jesus, I know, my sister continued using

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Speaker 1: my account even though I asked her not to. After

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Speaker 1: learning about the ten ninety nine, I told her, hey,

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Speaker 1: you're going to have to pay me about three thousand

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Speaker 1: to pay the r ar rest. No, she okay, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna finish with my stuff. Technically it didn't come out

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Speaker 1: of my pocket because they just took it from the

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Speaker 1: return I would have gotten. Sad face. I know I'm

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Speaker 1: not wrong for asking her for that money, because it

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Speaker 1: was supposed to be mine. She should have been setting

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Speaker 1: money aside. She's forty two and I'm twenty six. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna say that again. She's two and I'm twenty six,

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Speaker 1: so I feel taken advantage of. She only zelled me

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Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty dollars. I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 1: Just pretend it didn't happen. I'm not gonna call you MESSI.

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Speaker 1: This is I'm calling MESSI is your sister. Tell your

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Speaker 1: sister come, Tell her to come to the phone right now,

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Speaker 1: twenty six, Go get your forty two yearld sister because

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Speaker 1: I'm forty four. So we're gonna talk as peers. Go

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Speaker 1: get your sister. Now, pause the podcast and go get

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Speaker 1: her and bring her to the podcast. Hey, bea fan.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back. Sis,

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Speaker 1: your little sister told me that you asked to borrow

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Speaker 1: her Instagram account, her Instacart account, which I'm not sure

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Speaker 1: why you would do that, Like, are you not allowed

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Speaker 1: to make money on your own either way? Where you

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Speaker 1: first messed up because you should not have been using

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Speaker 1: her instacart account to do deliveries. So that's one, okay. Two,

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Speaker 1: she asked you to stop Sis, and obviously you continued

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Speaker 1: almost doubling her income, and she was supposed to get

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Speaker 1: three thousand dollars back. Not only is she not getting

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Speaker 1: three thousand dollars, she also owes another three thousand, So

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Speaker 1: that's six thousand dollars that baby Cys is in a

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Speaker 1: deficit for because of the choice that you decided forty

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Speaker 1: two to make. Now, mistakes happen, I know this, but

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Speaker 1: now she's asking for it to be righted. And I

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Speaker 1: know you love your baby Sis. You've only zeld her

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Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty dollars. What is going on? And

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Speaker 1: now baby sisters feeling taken advantage of it because quite honestly,

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Speaker 1: as the big sister who is nearly twice her age

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Speaker 1: and I'm not an age's becausist. I'm forty two, I'm

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Speaker 1: forty forty four, I mean forty five two, I'm big

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Speaker 1: sis to Yeah, why go ahead and run this girl

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Speaker 1: back up? Dag on money? What is going on? Here's

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Speaker 1: the thing. You shouldn't have used an instacart, but you

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Speaker 1: already did that. Okay, we're here now, two Like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you understand. See the thing is, I

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Speaker 1: find it hard to believe that you didn't understand how

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Speaker 1: ten ninety nine work. Not at forty two, you don't,

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Speaker 1: Like I could see if you was twenty six like

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Speaker 1: your little sis, because I get it she probably didn't

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Speaker 1: understand her boyfriend put her up on game about ten

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Speaker 1: ninety nine. Girl, you knew that at ten ninety nine

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Speaker 1: was gonna get issued. Why would you do that? Honestly,

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Speaker 1: that's you. You. I have three younger sisters. You know

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Speaker 1: that one of the roles as an older sister is

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Speaker 1: to educate, to protect, and honestly sometimes even provide for

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Speaker 1: our little sisters. We're not here to take advantage of them.

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Speaker 1: But now we're here. Girl, not only do you owe

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Speaker 1: her that three thousand, you owe her another three on

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Speaker 1: top of that. You do because she was gonna get

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Speaker 1: back three thousand dollars. So now that we know all

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Speaker 1: that is true. We know this is true. Now it's

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Speaker 1: time for solutions. I like to be a paper towel person.

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Speaker 1: When I was a kid, I used to spill something.

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Speaker 1: If it was my dad, he would get mad and

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Speaker 1: be fussing and fuss and fuss and fuss and fussing,

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Speaker 1: and then finally hand you a paper towel, which I

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Speaker 1: just did with you because I'm still my daddy's daughter,

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Speaker 1: and my mother would just say, just go ahead and

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Speaker 1: get a paper towel. Well, you need a little fussing first,

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Speaker 1: So now let's go to paper towel. The solution. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna clean this up. So you've only zeld her two

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Speaker 1: hundred and fifty dollars, maybe more by now because you

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Speaker 1: wrote this a little while ago. Okay, now, what is

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Speaker 1: the payment plan to give this girl her six thousand dollars.

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Speaker 1: Let's map that out. What does that look like? Because

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Speaker 1: it's not a matter of life. You're going to you know,

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Speaker 1: like cause one twenty six, little sis, here's the thing

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Speaker 1: that like, you are not going to pretend that it

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Speaker 1: didn't happen, because even if you pretended it did, and

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Speaker 1: you're going to feel some kind of way because you're

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Speaker 1: supposed to feel some kind of way because your sister

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Speaker 1: made a mistake. But sisters make mistakes. I've got four sisters.

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Speaker 1: Lord knows that we've been up down, side to side.

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Speaker 1: We made mistakes. But it is her job to remedy

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Speaker 1: that mistake. It is her job to remedy that mistake.

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Speaker 1: And so now we're gonna map out a payment plan

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Speaker 1: of what it looks like to pay her the six thousand,

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Speaker 1: the three thousand that the IRS took already, and the

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Speaker 1: additional three thousand she's had to pay. So what does

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Speaker 1: that look like? Can you do? Is that five hundred

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Speaker 1: bucks a month? Okay, let's do a little math. I'm

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Speaker 1: taking my calculator right now. Okay, I'm gonna do a

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Speaker 1: little my calculator. Calculata. Calculata six thousand dollars divided by

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Speaker 1: five hundred dollars a month is twelve months. So you

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Speaker 1: can pay back little Sis in about a year. Because

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Speaker 1: if you can do fifty two fifty every two weeks,

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Speaker 1: can you do that? Can we get little Sis whole

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Speaker 1: in about a year. I think we could do that.

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Speaker 1: I think you should make that your your your business

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Speaker 1: to do that. You know absolutely now here's the thing,

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Speaker 1: little sis. I'm not gonna say you shouldn't trust people

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Speaker 1: so easily because that is your older sister. Of course

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Speaker 1: you're supposed to trust something who are supposed to trust

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Speaker 1: is not your sister. But when things like this happen,

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Speaker 1: I want you to something that my dad taught me

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Speaker 1: early on, even when it came to my sisters, is

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Speaker 1: that you can let people borrow money, but never your name.

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Speaker 1: So he said, you are not to co sign, you

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Speaker 1: are not to write your name down. You are not

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Speaker 1: to be a joint or whatever for anyone, like when

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Speaker 1: you get married, because legally you already join anyway. But

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Speaker 1: he was like, if your sister comes to you says

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Speaker 1: I want to buy a car, can you co sign

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Speaker 1: for me? Now, not your not your boyfriend, not your sister,

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Speaker 1: not your friend. It's better for you to say, I

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Speaker 1: can lend you fifteen hundred dollars and if they don't

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Speaker 1: pay it back, they don't pay it back. But lending

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Speaker 1: your name means that they could do irreputable like damage

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Speaker 1: like this. Do you understand, little sis, that this is

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Speaker 1: a really valuable lesson for you Never to lend your

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Speaker 1: name like this again, and allowing her to have access

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Speaker 1: to your insercart like like this, that was you lending

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Speaker 1: your name. You didn't know, So I'm certainly not getting

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Speaker 1: on you, but you're learning now just how important that

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Speaker 1: is because the IRS does not care about oh my

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Speaker 1: sister yea yea yeah, they're wah blah blah, we want

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Speaker 1: our money. And the thing is, I don't know how

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Speaker 1: long it's been and if you've been able to pay

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Speaker 1: the IRS, but Big Sis know that you got to

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Speaker 1: pay that interest too, because if little Sis doesn't have

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Speaker 1: that additional three thousand dollars, they might be charging her interest.

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Speaker 1: You have to pay that, you know. And quite honestly,

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Speaker 1: little Sis, y'all got the same mama, you black and

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Speaker 1: if you not run, tell your mama. That's right, Big Sins.

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Speaker 1: She's telling them like you, not only your mama, tell

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Speaker 1: your grandmama too, right, So if Big Sis don't give

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Speaker 1: your money back, tell your mother because what they heal like, no,

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Speaker 1: you need to confront her. I'm not saying that you

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Speaker 1: guys shouldn't talk anymore. I'm not saying you're supposed to

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Speaker 1: cut her off. I'm not saying that at all. But

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Speaker 1: little Sis, this is when you put your big girl

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Speaker 1: pants on, and you're gonna woman up and you're gonna

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Speaker 1: confront her and say that's not okay. Let's work out

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Speaker 1: a plan like okay, and then I need my money

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Speaker 1: back because that's not okay. And if she refuse to

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Speaker 1: stay engaged, I'm talent because I'm gonna be a little Sis.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be a little siss all the way. Okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but don't ever pretend that something bad did not happen

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Speaker 1: to you. That's no no, because something did, you know,

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Speaker 1: and Big Sis, like you know, we're gonna forgive you,

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Speaker 1: but you're also gonna get it together and make it right. Okay. Now,

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Speaker 1: y'all hug and make a plan on the first and

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Speaker 1: the fifteenth, pick those days if you want to open

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Speaker 1: up a joint and well, no, I don't even do

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Speaker 1: that because at this point Big Sis might not be

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Speaker 1: able to be trusted. You're gonna send her that money

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Speaker 1: every two weeks, five hundred dollars two fifty every two

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Speaker 1: weeks until you pay it off. All right, all right, child,

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Speaker 1: that was messy. Anyway, we're gonna take a break on.

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Speaker 1: I'm about to get a little gulp of water. Take

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Speaker 1: a break and hopefully the next question won't be as messy.

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Speaker 1: But y'all go ahead, big sins. I know you got

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Speaker 1: a little attitude. Go ahead. It's okay because we're both

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Speaker 1: grown women. I had to get you together. Girl. I

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Speaker 1: still love you, but don't do that. We'll be back

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Speaker 1: and blacker than ever. All right. I am refreshed requests

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Speaker 1: and I'm back and black and brown. All right. Next

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Speaker 1: question is for real. This is kind of the opposite

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Speaker 1: of the spectrum. Rielle said, Hey, ladies, question for you.

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Speaker 1: I just got married in October. Congratulations girl, And I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to combine finances. Okay, Now this is different what

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Speaker 1: I just told little Sis, Big Sis. Combining of finances, no,

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Speaker 1: no, no no, But in marriage is different because quite honesty

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Speaker 1: direct looks at you the same. Anyway. I already have

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Speaker 1: almost two decades of good credit history. Okay, my cards

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Speaker 1: would only let us My cards would only let us

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Speaker 1: open new ones, or I can add my spouse as

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Speaker 1: an authorized user. I thought I'd be able to add

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Speaker 1: him on the existing account as joined. Any idea is

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Speaker 1: what to do with my three credit cards? Now? We

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Speaker 1: want a joint cash back card, which I already have

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Speaker 1: with my city with city on my own, which is

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Speaker 1: the same card we'd be opening as joined. I'm so

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Speaker 1: bummed that I really wouldn't have a need for my

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Speaker 1: cards anymore. I don't want them to close. Any thoughts

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Speaker 1: would be much appreciated. Thank you, Okayrym. Here's the thing.

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Speaker 1: I believe in mine and hours when it comes to

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Speaker 1: money and marriage. Ooh, I like that. Did you know

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Speaker 1: what I said? I believe in mine and hours when

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Speaker 1: it comes to money and marriage. So I don't think

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Speaker 1: you have to close your card if you don't want to,

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Speaker 1: you certainly keep. I mean I literally have my first card.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I was married to Jirell, and

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Speaker 1: I have my card from when I got when I

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Speaker 1: was in college. It's my Bank of American card that

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Speaker 1: I barely use. You know, I want to say, when

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Speaker 1: I got married to Jerrell, I had two credit cards,

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Speaker 1: maybe more, maybe three, maybe like you, but definitely two

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Speaker 1: that like I kind of was using. And then when

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Speaker 1: we got married, I kept them. I didn't really use

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Speaker 1: them much, but I kept them, and they I was

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Speaker 1: able to keep my credit history because I understand you

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Speaker 1: want that credit history. So you don't have to close

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Speaker 1: those cards. You can put like one small little bill

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Speaker 1: on it and pay it off automatically. If you want

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Speaker 1: to keep that good credit history, do that. So but

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Speaker 1: if you want to have a card that both of

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Speaker 1: you guys can be using, maybe you're using it for

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Speaker 1: bills or whatever, then you can open up a new

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Speaker 1: card with City while keeping your old card. Because like

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Speaker 1: my husband and I'm at the time, we were using

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Speaker 1: like Wells Fargo, So he had a Wells Fargo card

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Speaker 1: and account. I had a Wells Fargo card account, and

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Speaker 1: then we had a joint one. So I don't think

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Speaker 1: like it's not that when you're married you throw away

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Speaker 1: your whole exists and l now and you can literally

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Speaker 1: keep all the accounts and the cards you had before

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Speaker 1: and then just open new joint ones and then navigate

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Speaker 1: with new rules. So this is what Jerell and I

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Speaker 1: the rules that we had for me and Jerrem so

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Speaker 1: I had a checking account for spending for myself. He

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Speaker 1: had a checking account for spending on himself, almost like allowance, right,

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Speaker 1: that was one one checking account each for ourselves independently,

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Speaker 1: and then we had a joint checking account for I

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Speaker 1: called it family slash house bills. So that was like groceries, gas,

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Speaker 1: you know, any like we don't have a we didn't

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Speaker 1: have a mortgage, but like PC and G water, like

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00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:40,360
Speaker 1: the electrical bill blow but any kind of joint expenses

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Speaker 1: that affected the house. Even what we started to do,

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Speaker 1: we started to do date nights out of those bills,

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Speaker 1: Like like we had that card and like when we

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Speaker 1: would like every Friday, we would have a date night,

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Speaker 1: and each one of us could choose what date night

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Speaker 1: looked like. And so because I made significantly more than

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Speaker 1: Jirell toward the end of his life, we started to say, okay,

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Speaker 1: then you can just we just used that card, you know,

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Speaker 1: for date night, so we can kind of have like

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Speaker 1: equal footing when it came to planning date night, and

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Speaker 1: so you can make up your own rules. But that's

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Speaker 1: what we did. We had this joint account where it

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Speaker 1: was like this is where we literally called it the

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Speaker 1: bill's account. And it's crazy. It's just funny because I

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Speaker 1: just came back. Not funny, but I just came back

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Speaker 1: from the bank. Now, I don't know drug. I mean,

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Speaker 1: he's been gone for about two and a half years now.

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Speaker 1: It seems so so real and crazy. Anyway, he's been

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Speaker 1: gone for like two and a half years now, but

307
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Speaker 1: I got a check in the mail from the hospital

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Speaker 1: where he passed away, or maybe it was his health plan,

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Speaker 1: whatever it was. It was like one hundred and sixty

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Speaker 1: dollars check that they said, and I was like, uh,

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Speaker 1: what is this for? It was a refund and I

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Speaker 1: have an estate trust bank account like like I that

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Speaker 1: I opened up, you know, as the administrator Darrell's estate.

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Speaker 1: But the check said Jerell Smith, not the estate of

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Speaker 1: Drel Smith. So they wouldn't let me deposit in the

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Speaker 1: estate account. I was like, what am I supposed to do?

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Speaker 1: They're like, do you have any account with his name

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Speaker 1: on it? And I did. My bill's account still has

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Speaker 1: his name on it, and so they're like, we can

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Speaker 1: put it there. I'm like, well that seems stupid. So

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Speaker 1: why'd you make me go through this whole estate creating

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Speaker 1: a whole estate account if like you're just gonna like

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Speaker 1: he's not even here. And so either way, I was

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Speaker 1: able to deposit this account, this check with his name

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Speaker 1: on it, into our bills account because it still existed

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Speaker 1: and it still had his name on it. So it

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Speaker 1: just had me thinking I just told my sister or

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Speaker 1: the other when I came home, I said, all of us,

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Speaker 1: like I have a joint account with one of my

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Speaker 1: sisters when I used to help her, and so I

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Speaker 1: think I told her, I said, all of us should

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Speaker 1: have a joint account with one sister, just in case

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Speaker 1: something like this happens, because even if we have a

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00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,479
Speaker 1: state account for you, apparently you can't even use it.

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Speaker 1: Really that if you have a joint account, we would

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Speaker 1: still be able to deposit and withdraw money if it

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00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,600
Speaker 1: were to come and trickle in some years later. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: So I just share all that to say that even

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Speaker 1: now I still have a joint account with him, you know,

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Speaker 1: even though he's not here. And so we also had

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00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:01,560
Speaker 1: independent savings accounts and then joint safets account. We had

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00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:07,160
Speaker 1: independent and retirement accounts, and then joint investment accounts. Does

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00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,520
Speaker 1: that make sense? So everything that we had joined we

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Speaker 1: also had independently as well. And so I'm not saying

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Speaker 1: that's the way to do it. I'm just saying that's

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Speaker 1: the way we did it. We sat down, we talked

347
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Speaker 1: through it, how do you want this to go? And

348
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Speaker 1: I believe in mine and hours. So it's like the

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00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:26,040
Speaker 1: vast majority of the money that was brought into the

350
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,879
Speaker 1: household wanted to be our bucket. But I also believe

351
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:30,920
Speaker 1: that adults should have some autonomy. If he wanted to

352
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:33,520
Speaker 1: buy some Jordan's, should he'd be like, hey, Bib, you

353
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Speaker 1: know I'm gonna use the bill money for it. No,

354
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Speaker 1: he has his own checking account. We started that because

355
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Speaker 1: that's what we were doing. We had all of our

356
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,840
Speaker 1: money in one thing, nothing independent, and that we were

357
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Speaker 1: always checking in for these small things. Hey I'm gonna

358
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Speaker 1: get my hair done just so you know it's gonna

359
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,440
Speaker 1: be one hundred dollars. Hey I'm gonna buy some sneakers

360
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,320
Speaker 1: just so you know it's gonna be two hundred dollars. Now,

361
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,520
Speaker 1: So we started were like, you know, we need to

362
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Speaker 1: have some separate money where it's not affecting the household budget,

363
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,760
Speaker 1: so you could do whatever you want, because we already

364
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Speaker 1: had agreed upon the amount of money that was going

365
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,920
Speaker 1: to go to our household budget, our household savings, our

366
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,480
Speaker 1: household investing, and then outside of that you could do

367
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Speaker 1: what you wanted, so you still have autonomy as an

368
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,760
Speaker 1: adult to navigate financially. That makes sense and that worked

369
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Speaker 1: best for us, and because I made significantly more than Jirell,

370
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,920
Speaker 1: We didn't do fifty to fifty. Instead, what we did

371
00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 1: was Darrell contributed the majority of his check to the

372
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,480
Speaker 1: bills account. So because he really was he really wanted

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00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,919
Speaker 1: to pay the bills, and I said okay, And so

374
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,719
Speaker 1: I didn't really put anybody didn't put any money into

375
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 1: the bills account except I helped my parents, and so

376
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:37,440
Speaker 1: I would put the money into the bills account that

377
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,560
Speaker 1: I was sending them every month, because the bill's account

378
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,840
Speaker 1: would generate an automated check and still does that sends

379
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,639
Speaker 1: money to my parents every month. So that money I

380
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 1: put into the bill's account. But all the other money that

381
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 1: went into the bills account was Durell because he was like, no,

382
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Speaker 1: I want to pay the bills. I said okay. And

383
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Speaker 1: then the majority of the money that I made went

384
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:58,119
Speaker 1: into our joint savings and investment account. So he funded

385
00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 1: the bills account. I largely fund did our joint savings

386
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,879
Speaker 1: and investment accounts. Does that make sense? And so it

387
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,920
Speaker 1: just worked for us. So even though we had these

388
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 1: joint accounts, we funded them quote unquote financially unevenly, but

389
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Speaker 1: in a way that was equitable and fair to us.

390
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 1: And so you know, I'm sharing that candidly, you know,

391
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,760
Speaker 1: because and y'all I've shared this before that you know

392
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 1: that Jerrell never made over sixty thousand dollars a year.

393
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,200
Speaker 1: But as a result of navigating that way, when it

394
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,240
Speaker 1: was time to buy a house, it was like, okay,

395
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 1: he's like, I want to still pay all the bills.

396
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, well, the kind of house that I

397
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:40,080
Speaker 1: want to get is not going to be available at

398
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:43,040
Speaker 1: that at you know, at his income level. But we,

399
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 1: because of how much money I was making what was

400
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,640
Speaker 1: in our savings, was able to buy us the house.

401
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,200
Speaker 1: It was a foreclosure cash the house was one eighty

402
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,000
Speaker 1: so it was like, okay, we could buy this house

403
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,439
Speaker 1: one eighty, which we did. And then it allowed him

404
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,320
Speaker 1: to still pay the bills because we didn't have a mortgage.

405
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,160
Speaker 1: So it was like the taxes he paid, the electrical bill,

406
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,879
Speaker 1: the water bill, whatever. But do you see, it was

407
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 1: like that's what marriage is. It's this dance between how

408
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,879
Speaker 1: do you want this to go? You want to manage

409
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 1: all the bills and pay all the bills, great, but

410
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 1: a mortgage would put us outside the range of you

411
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 1: paying the bills. Oh well, I'm doing most of the

412
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 1: savings and investing on our behalf, okay, so we can

413
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,080
Speaker 1: use that money to buy the thing. So it still

414
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:24,879
Speaker 1: puts us in range that you can still pay all

415
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 1: the bills. So I'm sharing that because I want you

416
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,880
Speaker 1: to understand, like as you are in partnership, there are

417
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 1: no rules that you can make up whatever rule you want.

418
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,199
Speaker 1: I mean, certainly you can get rid of all your

419
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 1: personal financial stuff individually and just only do like a

420
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 1: you know, collective financial stuff. That's okay. You can say

421
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,479
Speaker 1: we don't want to blend any money, that's okay, But

422
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 1: it should be a conversation, a collective decision, a willingness

423
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,679
Speaker 1: to both be on the same page. So whatever that is.

424
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 1: So that's what Jirell and I did. But I tend

425
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,680
Speaker 1: to believe in having some our money as well as

426
00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:00,239
Speaker 1: some our money. So my money and our money and

427
00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:03,119
Speaker 1: most of the money is ours, you know. But I

428
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,399
Speaker 1: think it's important for adults to have some autonomy. But

429
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 1: you might not think that, and that's okay. But I'm

430
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,159
Speaker 1: just saying all that to say, you don't got to

431
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,440
Speaker 1: get rid of all your credit cards if you don't

432
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 1: want to, but you can still open joint cards and

433
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 1: you could just keep your credit cards open, put some

434
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,639
Speaker 1: light bills on them so they don't get canceled, and

435
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 1: you can maintain your good credit history. All right, realm,

436
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:25,520
Speaker 1: I hope that was helpful. All right. Well, if you like,

437
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,200
Speaker 1: if you like this ey, and you think your sex

438
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 1: to come on, baby, share me now. If you like

439
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 1: the episode and you thought it was cute or whatever,

440
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 1: go ahead on and share it with a friend. Leave

441
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 1: us a review, you know, like I don't know, like,

442
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 1: tell the girls we're trying to blow up around here,

443
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 1: all right, man, I be back next week, so you know,

444
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 1: be kind and gentle to me, all right until next week, y'all. Bye,