1 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:10,959 Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, ba fam, it's Mandy here, and now I'm 2 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: dropping into the feeds with something a little bit different 3 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,479 Speaker 1: but also really freaking exciting. Y'all may have heard a 4 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 1: new show from my friends at Higher Ground, which is 5 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 1: hosted by the Michelle Obama. The show is called IMO 6 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: or in my opinion, so y'all know, I'm brown ambition. 7 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 1: We are all about giving actionable advice so y'all can 8 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: achieve your biggest goals, always with a little bit of humor. 9 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 1: While on IMO, Michelle and her big brother Craig Robinson 10 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,199 Speaker 1: aim to bring you the same. Now, I'm actually a 11 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 1: huge fan of IMO before Higher Ground even emailed me. 12 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,319 Speaker 1: And the fact I'm low key freaking out because this 13 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 1: possibly means that Michelle Obama knows who I am, or 14 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: like one of her interns or someone on her table, 15 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,320 Speaker 1: Oh my god, very exciting. But I was already listening 16 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 1: to her show, y'all. I have loved the episodes that 17 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: she has had with My girl is Sa Ray with 18 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 1: Jay Shetty, and on this preview you're going to get 19 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: to hear a taste of their incredible conversation with Keiky Palmer, 20 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 1: and I remember listening to this episode myself and just 21 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 1: thinking that, Wow, the combination of Michelle and Kiki together, 22 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 1: the amount of wisdom these two carrier. She really matched 23 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 1: Michelle Jem for Jem. Y'all, what you got to know 24 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,040 Speaker 1: about IMO is that each week it's not just Michelle 25 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 1: and Craig. They also welcome a guest who tackle a 26 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:33,400 Speaker 1: real question from real folks like you, and they offer 27 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: practical advice, personal storytelling, and yeah, lots of laughs and giggles. 28 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: Michelle and Craig open up and they share stories throughout 29 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 1: their lives, from their first crushes to their college years, 30 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 1: to landing at the White House, to how they're coping 31 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 1: with the grief of losing their beloved mother, and for 32 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 1: six decades they have been each other's most trusted counsel. 33 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: Y'all know, I love my baby brother so much, and 34 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 1: the relationship between these two siblings, it just gives me 35 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 1: so much hope and gives me so much heart, and 36 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: I feel so warm and fuzzy about it because I 37 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 1: hope that that's the kind of relationship I can continue 38 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: to build and grow with my siblings as well. And 39 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:17,800 Speaker 1: now they're here sharing their gems with us. So, like 40 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 1: I said in this episode, Keky Palmer joined Michelle and 41 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 1: Craig when a listener asked, how do I feel so 42 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:28,359 Speaker 1: bad after a big career? Win don't forget. You can 43 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 1: find more episodes of I M O wherever you get podcasts. 44 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 2: So I remember when I did A Kill and the Bee. 45 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,359 Speaker 3: Everybody kept saying, this movie is going to be a hit, 46 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,519 Speaker 3: this movie's gonna bust it out, this is you won't 47 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 3: be a star, and like it's such an elusive thing. 48 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 2: What's the star? 49 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 4: You know? 50 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 2: And how old were you? 51 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:48,960 Speaker 3: Then? 52 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 2: I was eleven and. 53 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,799 Speaker 4: They were like, this is it's like whatever that is 54 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 4: Michael Jackson, you know, like it was like and then 55 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,959 Speaker 4: the movie came in and did so chear the box office. 56 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:03,680 Speaker 2: I thought that was one of my favorite movies. 57 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 3: And then and then I think about it, like over 58 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 3: time it would be my most popular film and the 59 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 3: thing that people most know me for. But I use 60 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 3: that as an example in this is because our life 61 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 3: is made up of many moments. It's not made like 62 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 3: our legacy is not just that one thing we did 63 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 3: any you know, many things that we did, And so 64 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 3: like aquilaing the Bee was always there for people to 65 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 3: come to and remember my work, and it grew over 66 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 3: time amongst all the. 67 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,120 Speaker 2: Things I did. But I remember feeling in that moment 68 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 2: being like everybody lied to me, you know what I mean. 69 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 3: I felt like when my mom told me I was 70 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,640 Speaker 3: gonna be a big girl at five, I still didn't 71 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 3: get big. 72 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 2: I was like, now, wait a minute, I'm still it 73 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 2: sounds like big girl just means I can't be a baby. Hey, exactly. Well, hello, 74 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:04,160 Speaker 2: hi Craig. How are you welcome you back to my world? 75 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 5: Even though I didn't stay at your. 76 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 4: Place, you know, and that you got a lot of 77 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 4: nerve coming into DC and you didn't even stay with 78 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 4: me because you're all trying to be Airbnb friendly. 79 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 5: Let me tell you. I would normally stay with my 80 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 5: sister and h but this time I stayed at a 81 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 5: really nice place. Okay, And I was going to go 82 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 5: for a walk this morning, but I was so excited 83 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 5: about our guest today that I was preparing all morning long. 84 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 5: And we're going to be talking about dreams, and you know, 85 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 5: it made me think of when we were little. Did 86 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 5: you have a dream? Did you know what you wanted 87 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:40,520 Speaker 5: to do? 88 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 2: I thought I did. 89 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:48,159 Speaker 4: When I would be asked, probably around the age of ten, 90 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 4: I thought I wanted to be a pediatrician. 91 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 5: I remember you remember, Oh yeah, I was wondering if 92 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,720 Speaker 5: you remember, because I thought you were going to say 93 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 5: lawyer or something I was going to know. 94 00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 4: But yes, the lawyer didn't come until after I realized 95 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 4: that I was not talented at chemistry or math. 96 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:05,719 Speaker 2: You know, that's what you can be a ten. You 97 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:06,360 Speaker 2: can dream. 98 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 4: It's like being a doctor is all about loving children 99 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,160 Speaker 4: and wanting to help because I love kids. I love 100 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 4: little kids, and I thought, well, if I could do 101 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:18,040 Speaker 4: something that was professional, I could save lives. And then 102 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:22,360 Speaker 4: I went to high school and chemistry kind of threw 103 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:23,799 Speaker 4: me for I didn't like science. 104 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 5: So the problem with you and science is you didn't 105 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 5: like it because you were a good student in every subject. 106 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 2: I could get grades. 107 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 4: But if I thought, if I'm going to pick a 108 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 4: career where I have to do math and science for 109 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:39,880 Speaker 4: like eight years, it's like, now I'll do something else. 110 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 2: But that was my dream. What about you? 111 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 5: So I'm going to see if you remember this. The 112 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,599 Speaker 5: first thing I wanted to be wasn't an athlete, wasn't 113 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 5: a coach, well kind of an athlete, but it was 114 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:53,279 Speaker 5: a race car driver. 115 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 4: Do you remember that it was like race car. I 116 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 4: was going to say pilot. 117 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:01,240 Speaker 5: No, no, it wasn't pilot because folks weren't on planes 118 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 5: like that. 119 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, so. 120 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 5: I wanted to be a NASCAR or Indie car driver. 121 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 2: That's why you love Formula One. 122 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,400 Speaker 5: See it is. But do you remember how I got 123 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 5: talked out of it by Missus Thompson, my second grade team. 124 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 2: Now what did she say? 125 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,560 Speaker 5: So it was one of those days in school where 126 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 5: you have to She's like, all right, I want everybody 127 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:25,839 Speaker 5: to stand up and say what you want to be 128 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,839 Speaker 5: when you grow up. And people were like standing up 129 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,160 Speaker 5: saying they wanted to be a teacher, and they wanted 130 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 5: to be a fireman, and they wanted to be a policeman. 131 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,720 Speaker 5: She gets to me and I said, I want to 132 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 5: be a race car driver. And she was like Craig Robinson, 133 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,360 Speaker 5: with all those brains, all you want to do is 134 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 5: be a race car driver. Oh see, Missus Thompson shamed 135 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 5: me out of it. See that's what I'm talking. But 136 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 5: as it turned out, you grow to be six six, 137 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 5: you can't be a race car driver. 138 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 6: Right. 139 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,160 Speaker 2: She didn't know that. 140 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,919 Speaker 4: She didn't know it and the fact and she didn't 141 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 4: also know that race car drivers make a lot pretty 142 00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:58,080 Speaker 4: good living. 143 00:06:58,120 --> 00:06:59,840 Speaker 5: Well, they make a good living, but you know the 144 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 5: mostly most of those guys have to be engineers. They 145 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:06,600 Speaker 5: have to be really good to your point, math science, 146 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 5: figuring things out. 147 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 2: So Miss Thompson didn't know what she was talking about. 148 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 5: And I love Miss tom you know, she was one 149 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 5: of my favorite teachers, but she talked me out of 150 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 5: my first dream. 151 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 2: And what grade was that? Second grade? See, this is 152 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:22,840 Speaker 2: what we're talking about. And that's the thing. 153 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 4: One of the things I don't like about asking little kids, 154 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 4: little bitty kids, so what they want to be like 155 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:33,240 Speaker 4: they would know, right, and then shaming them, you know, 156 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,080 Speaker 4: I know, it's just sort of like, why don't we 157 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 4: do that to kids, because that sets them up for 158 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,920 Speaker 4: thinking that life is predictable. You can pick things and 159 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 4: plant it and it will actually happen. That's and we're 160 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 4: going to talk about this more later, but I think 161 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 4: that's one of the things that gets kids kind of 162 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 4: stuck into thinking that they're supposed to know everything about 163 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 4: their lives by the time they're fifteen, they're supposed to 164 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 4: have it all figured out. 165 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, and that just sets them up, sets. 166 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 4: Up the wrong kind of expectation for how life actually works. 167 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 5: Absolutely, absolutely, And it's okay to want to be three 168 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 5: or four things too. 169 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 4: Well, because over the course of your life you may 170 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 4: actually be three or four different things. But yeah, dreams, 171 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 4: you know, I you know, it's fun to dream. But 172 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 4: I think that it's the balance of how do you 173 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 4: let kids dream, but you don't pigeonhole them by their dreams, right, 174 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 4: And I'm very careful about that. 175 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,679 Speaker 2: I mean, you like with the girls. 176 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 4: Malia is one of those interesting kids who when she 177 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 4: was ten she said she wanted to write and direct 178 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 4: and she's doing that, right. That's crazy that I always 179 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 4: say that to Sasha, the younger one. 180 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,320 Speaker 2: That's unusual. 181 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:55,640 Speaker 4: It is rare that somebody decides to tend that they 182 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 4: want to do something, and then they do it and 183 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,960 Speaker 4: they actually like it. 184 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 2: But I'll try not to pigeonhole. 185 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 4: Them, like just because I say this to Mellia, just 186 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 4: because you said you wanted to do that at ten, 187 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 4: You're now an adult. 188 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 2: You're trying this stuff on. You may like it, you 189 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 2: may not. 190 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:16,120 Speaker 4: I just want to always give my kids an out 191 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 4: because if things don't work out, right, I don't want 192 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,960 Speaker 4: to think that they're disappointing me because they said they 193 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,079 Speaker 4: were going to do something when they were ten, it 194 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 4: didn't turn out that way, or life happened. So I'm 195 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:30,920 Speaker 4: constantly trying to balance being enthusiastic about what they want 196 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 4: to do, but also say life, We don't know what's 197 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,440 Speaker 4: going to happen in life, so we have to stay 198 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:41,679 Speaker 4: emotionally and mentally flexible so that when things go wrong 199 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 4: or something changes or they learn something new about themselves, 200 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:49,560 Speaker 4: if they have room to respond to that change. 201 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 5: Yeah. Well, you know, I always thought mom and Dad 202 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 5: did a terrific job because they never said you should 203 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:01,240 Speaker 5: be this or stick with this. They just said, whatever 204 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 5: you decide, just work hard at it. Just work hard. 205 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 5: It was like schoolwork. You don't have to get the 206 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 5: best grades as long as you work hard. And typically 207 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 5: when you worked hard, you got the results you wanted. 208 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 5: And that was That was advice that I've carried with 209 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:20,760 Speaker 5: me through a bunch of different machinations and jobs. And 210 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,920 Speaker 5: I never set out to be a basketball player, But 211 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 5: I digress. I want to bring out our guest who 212 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 5: is an Emmy Award winning multi hyphen it entertainer, an actress, 213 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:39,719 Speaker 5: a musical artist, a producer, a host of her own podcast, 214 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 5: and an author, but most importantly, she is the favorite 215 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:53,320 Speaker 5: game show host of the Robinson Household, because you know, 216 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 5: we play some passwords. 217 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 2: In our house. 218 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:58,120 Speaker 5: You come to our house, family, you got to be 219 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 5: ready to play some password. So Keiki Palmer, will you 220 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 5: please come on? 221 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:11,000 Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, I could listen to you guys talk. 222 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 5: Oh it's so good to see. Thanks for being here. 223 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,800 Speaker 2: And I just lived for the password play. The password 224 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 2: is yes. 225 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 5: When we play, we say it like that. And the 226 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 5: password You've done better than who is the guy? Alan Ludden? 227 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:36,040 Speaker 2: It was the way of original I praise. 228 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 3: I loved when that show and I just love that 229 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,199 Speaker 3: families can get together and have fun with it. Yeah, 230 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,520 Speaker 3: that's the thing, is like, it's an opportunity for everybody 231 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:43,679 Speaker 3: to play, even the babies. 232 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,240 Speaker 5: So I was telling our producer Natalie, there's only two 233 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,960 Speaker 5: we have at home. We have four kids, but only 234 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 5: two at home, okay, fourteen year old and a twelve 235 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 5: year old. So sitting down and watching TV is gone 236 00:11:56,520 --> 00:12:02,600 Speaker 5: by the wayside. But there's two things we watch as word. 237 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 2: Okay, because they get you into. 238 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 3: That's the perfect balance. You know, you're laughing and you're 239 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,079 Speaker 3: like you didn't know that man was no good. I 240 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:10,959 Speaker 3: love that you. 241 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,080 Speaker 5: Can life lesson. 242 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 4: I mean, just just read listening to you read Kei 243 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,560 Speaker 4: Ky's U bio. It's like, girl, I would think you 244 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 4: were seventy years old with all you've done in your lives. 245 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 4: I do through you know, I mean, how did you 246 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 4: How have you packed so much into such a young life. 247 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:35,400 Speaker 4: You're you know, you're a baby yourself. Oh my gosh, 248 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:39,079 Speaker 4: and you have done so much in such a short 249 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,960 Speaker 4: period of time. Girl, I'm so proud of you, just 250 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 4: watching you just do your thing. How do you manage 251 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 4: all of that? 252 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 3: I think it's so much of what when you guys 253 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 3: were talking about dreams, knowing your dream as a kid, 254 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 3: and then how people can help kids nurture them. Is 255 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 3: that When I told my parents I wanted to entertain, 256 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,960 Speaker 3: you know, we started going on auditions and stuff. There 257 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:02,400 Speaker 3: was never a ceiling. They always encouraged and said there 258 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,640 Speaker 3: was more that I could do. There was never a 259 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:06,960 Speaker 3: feeling that I had well because I started with acting. 260 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,080 Speaker 2: That's all I had to stick with. 261 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: You know. 262 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 3: If I wanted to try singing and focus on that, 263 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:12,559 Speaker 3: I could. If I wanted to try hosting, if I 264 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 3: wanted to do less film and TV and maybe do 265 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 3: more theater. You know, it was always or even community stuff, 266 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 3: and I never felt like I had to just abandon 267 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:22,920 Speaker 3: any one thing to follow my dreams. 268 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 2: It all was rooted in being. 269 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 3: Of service to my community in the ways that felt 270 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,360 Speaker 3: most natural to me. And so I really loved hearing 271 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 3: you guys talk about that, because I think that is 272 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 3: why I'm able to do all the things that I do. 273 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,319 Speaker 3: I think a lot of people have multiple most people, 274 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,479 Speaker 3: everybody has multiple gifts. 275 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:39,200 Speaker 2: And things they want to offer. 276 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:42,960 Speaker 3: But like y'all was saying, sometimes people make them believe 277 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 3: that it's that whole jack of all trades master of none, 278 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,040 Speaker 3: you know, but really it's jack of all trades. 279 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:51,640 Speaker 2: Master of none is often better than a master of one. One. Yeah, 280 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 2: And so I think my. 281 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:57,360 Speaker 3: Mom, my dad, my family saying Okay, let's let's do it, 282 00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 3: this is what made me. 283 00:13:58,920 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 2: Be able to do it. 284 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 4: Do you think about the wisdom of their parenting? What 285 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 4: do you think now about the way your your parents, 286 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:10,800 Speaker 4: you know, sort of guided you. 287 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 3: I think in the beginning, I was kind of like 288 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,240 Speaker 3: as a teenager in my early twenties, it was kind 289 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:16,440 Speaker 3: of like did I like my banns? 290 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:16,680 Speaker 6: Yeah? 291 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,920 Speaker 2: And then I was like, girl, everybody go. 292 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,040 Speaker 3: I remember my dad had this talk with me where 293 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 3: he was like, Okay, so I didn't do a lot 294 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 3: of things, right, I'm sorry that you didn't like this. 295 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 2: I'm sorry that you didn't like that. But now you're 296 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,120 Speaker 2: a grown woman. 297 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:29,880 Speaker 4: M h. 298 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,680 Speaker 2: So now what are you going to do with that? 299 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 2: Are you going to be mad at me forever? Or 300 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 2: are you going to move forward and take matters into 301 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 2: your own hands? See? Now, now that's Chicago, right, He 302 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 2: was like, I mean everybody parents did some He was of. 303 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:47,280 Speaker 4: That sounds just like our mom, who's like, I don't 304 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:51,320 Speaker 4: understand these kids blaming their parents. It's like, well you 305 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 4: think their parents didn't go through something. I mean, there's 306 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,400 Speaker 4: just a and we talked to her because we we're. 307 00:14:56,200 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 2: From Illinois, okay, and Kiki, she's sort of almost from Chicago. 308 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,840 Speaker 2: People are like, but if you know Chicago, you know, 309 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:09,160 Speaker 2: Robbins is like, it's the it's the hood suburb. 310 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:13,720 Speaker 5: And from he can handle herself. 311 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:18,520 Speaker 4: You know, it's not you know, Robins is not Highland Park. 312 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 4: It is not it's not Barrington, you know. Uh, but 313 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,200 Speaker 4: your your your parents sound like there's a sort of 314 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 4: common sense, groundedness to the just the way they think. 315 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:36,160 Speaker 4: There's just kind of a Midwestern kind of yes, simplicity 316 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 4: and kind of you know, no nonsense, and. 317 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 2: Always I just always wonder how it's like that. 318 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,200 Speaker 3: You know, obviously you don't want to be biased because 319 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,280 Speaker 3: we're all from the Midwest, but I do think there's 320 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,720 Speaker 3: something that's so like, look hardworking, put yourself up out 321 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 3: the bootstraps on your family, you know, be good to 322 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,120 Speaker 3: yourself and keep over four because life isn't gonna stop. 323 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 3: So what are you going to do with that? And 324 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,720 Speaker 3: I think that's what I learned the most from my 325 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 3: parents after I got out of my Yeah, it was 326 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,440 Speaker 3: kind of like it all slowly started to come to me, 327 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 3: all the sacrifices they made on all accounts, not just 328 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 3: sacrifices that we think about that we like like, oh, 329 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,480 Speaker 3: you know, I can't go out tonight. I can't go 330 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:18,520 Speaker 3: no sacrifices like I have to abandon my comfortability with anxiety. 331 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 3: I have to abandon my comfortability with not chasing my 332 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 3: dreams and stepping out into the unknown. 333 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,800 Speaker 2: My parents abandoned those things. 334 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:31,320 Speaker 3: They became heroes, They became courageous and brave in ways 335 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 3: that I don't even think they knew that they could be, 336 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 3: just so their children could see that they had options 337 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 3: and that their dreams were worth believing in. And I 338 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 3: think that is like what I wanted to be able 339 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,400 Speaker 3: to do the most with my son is teach him 340 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 3: how to be an authoritive figure, but also helped to 341 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,920 Speaker 3: nurture his sense of leadership without you know, tampering him down, 342 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 3: you know, like be a leader, but be the right 343 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:54,240 Speaker 3: kind of. 344 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 2: Leader, you know. 345 00:16:55,600 --> 00:17:03,960 Speaker 5: So I'm sorry, but I love Yeah, right, I'm in 346 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:09,520 Speaker 5: control here. This is a perfect time to segue into 347 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:14,400 Speaker 5: our question, and our producer, Natalie is going to read 348 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 5: the question and then we're going to react to it. 349 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 6: So Natalie was Unnette, Hi, Michelle, and Craig. My name 350 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,639 Speaker 6: is Noel and I'm thirty six years old. My whole career, 351 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,880 Speaker 6: I've had one dream to write a cookbook. Since college. 352 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,679 Speaker 6: I've worked single mindedly towards doing this. I've written for 353 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,520 Speaker 6: food magazines, become an in house recipe developer, I worked 354 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,320 Speaker 6: as a cheesemonger. I've even become a food stylist to 355 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,399 Speaker 6: help other people realize their own cookbook dreams. In the 356 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,639 Speaker 6: midst of it all, I've also been scheming up and 357 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,840 Speaker 6: dreaming my cookbook. Until recently, though it really felt like 358 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:50,399 Speaker 6: it would never happen, and then Bam, I got a 359 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:54,080 Speaker 6: book deal. My first cookbook will come out late next year. 360 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:58,480 Speaker 6: So you might be wondering, what's the problem. That's my 361 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,960 Speaker 6: question too. Years of working towards one thing, I found 362 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:06,359 Speaker 6: myself oddly unhappy now that I've achieved it. I don't 363 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 6: feel I've made enough progress in the rest of my life. 364 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,480 Speaker 6: I've made very little money. I don't have the house 365 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,200 Speaker 6: I hoped i'd have, or the relationship I thought I might. 366 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,840 Speaker 6: I fear I've given up so much for one thing, 367 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 6: and I'm really not sure it feels worth it. I'm 368 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 6: deeply aware of what I don't have, and I feel 369 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 6: a bit overwhelmed by the rest of my life. Getting 370 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,520 Speaker 6: this cookbook to the finish line on time and within budget, 371 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:32,400 Speaker 6: trying to earn more money, staying healthy, trying to date. 372 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 2: You get the picture. 373 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,359 Speaker 6: In short, I don't feel encouraged and proud or like 374 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 6: I've succeeded as an adult. I feel tired and anxious. 375 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,960 Speaker 6: Have you ever felt this way? Do you have any 376 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 6: advice on how I can reframe my mindset to focus 377 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 6: on the good, embrace what I do have, and move 378 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,000 Speaker 6: forward with a little more optimism for the future, maybe 379 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,880 Speaker 6: even find a little gratitude for what I have accomplished. 380 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 6: Any insights would help, Thanks, Noel. 381 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 5: Well, that is I'll open it up to you, folks. 382 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,960 Speaker 3: I mean, I think I maybe have had one experience 383 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:14,720 Speaker 3: like that, and it's because you attach all these expectations 384 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,880 Speaker 3: to it, you know what I mean, Like it's one 385 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,520 Speaker 3: thing to say I want to achieve this for me, 386 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,200 Speaker 3: and then there's another thing to say, I want to 387 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,640 Speaker 3: achieve something because I'm expecting all of this to come 388 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 3: with it. You know how, you can think about once 389 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,119 Speaker 3: I get dad, I'm gonna have this, I'm gonna have that, 390 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:30,000 Speaker 3: and then you kind of continue to push the goal 391 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,000 Speaker 3: post for yourself. So I remember when I did a 392 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,959 Speaker 3: Killing the Bee, everybody kept saying this movie is going 393 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,760 Speaker 3: to be a hit, this movie's gonna bust it out, 394 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,680 Speaker 3: this is you won't be a star, and like it's 395 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 3: such an elusive. 396 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:42,400 Speaker 2: Thing as what's the star? 397 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 6: You know what? 398 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:47,280 Speaker 2: And how old were you? Then? I was eleven and 399 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,920 Speaker 2: they were like, this is it's like whatever. 400 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 3: That is, Michael Jackson, you know, like it was like 401 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 3: and then the movie came in and. 402 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,800 Speaker 2: Did so terrible in the box office, although that was 403 00:19:58,840 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 2: one of my favorite movies. 404 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,240 Speaker 3: And then I think about it is like over time 405 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 3: to be my most popular film and the thing that 406 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 3: people most know me for. But I use that as 407 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:11,080 Speaker 3: an example in this is because our life is made 408 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,680 Speaker 3: up of many moments. It's not made like our legacy 409 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:18,000 Speaker 3: is not just that one thing we did any you know, 410 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 3: many things that we did, and so like a killing 411 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,679 Speaker 3: the Bee was always there for people to come to 412 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,360 Speaker 3: and remember my work, and it grew over time amongst 413 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,360 Speaker 3: all the things I did. 414 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,600 Speaker 2: But I remember feeling in that moment being like everybody 415 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,640 Speaker 2: lied to me, you know what I mean. 416 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,320 Speaker 3: I felt like when my mom told me I was 417 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:33,920 Speaker 3: gonna be a big girl at five, I still didn't 418 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 3: get big. 419 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,920 Speaker 4: I was like, now, wait a minute, I'm still it 420 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 4: sounds like big girl just means I can't be a. 421 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:44,439 Speaker 3: Baby, exactly how I felt with the thing. And so, 422 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,480 Speaker 3: but what I learned and what I never did to 423 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 3: myself after that was too expected outcome to be proud 424 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,919 Speaker 3: of the work, to be happy that I got the 425 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,760 Speaker 3: job or the thing that I wanted to get or 426 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,560 Speaker 3: did the but not to not to make it mean 427 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:01,439 Speaker 3: that it is only that, Yeah, if I receive a 428 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,480 Speaker 3: certain achievement, No, it's that to me and that has 429 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,640 Speaker 3: to be enough. So that's the one thing I thought 430 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 3: about when that happened. 431 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 2: So that makes me think. I mean, I share this 432 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:10,720 Speaker 2: all the time. 433 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 4: I mean. I went to Princeton Harvard Law because I 434 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:17,359 Speaker 4: thought I was going to be a lawyer, and a 435 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:18,159 Speaker 4: corporate lawyer. 436 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,960 Speaker 2: I didn't know anything about what a lawyer did. 437 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,320 Speaker 4: I didn't come our family was, we were not professional people. 438 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 4: I picked law because it was the next thing to do. 439 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,240 Speaker 4: I applied, I got into Harvard. You get into Harvard, 440 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:33,160 Speaker 4: you go right. That was the extent of my thinking, yep, right. 441 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 4: And then I got out. I practiced an a firm 442 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 4: for two years, and I was like, I don't like. 443 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:40,600 Speaker 2: This at all. 444 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 4: I'm not, you know, because corporate law is about it's 445 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:50,720 Speaker 4: papers and briefs, it's research. It's not very people oriented, 446 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:55,679 Speaker 4: especially in your early years. It just I had no 447 00:21:55,840 --> 00:22:00,399 Speaker 4: idea what corporate law was. Right, and I had I 448 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,520 Speaker 4: had wonderful mentors, people supported me. 449 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,800 Speaker 2: I did. I was able to achieve and do good 450 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:07,800 Speaker 2: things in that year. 451 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:09,760 Speaker 5: But I didn't. 452 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,159 Speaker 4: I didn't know what that felt like. I did not 453 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,000 Speaker 4: want to be a lawyer. And as it turns out, 454 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:16,879 Speaker 4: after all. 455 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:18,920 Speaker 2: That education and all those loans. 456 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:22,520 Speaker 4: But to your point, it was all them loans that 457 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:27,160 Speaker 4: we just paid off before Barack went into the White House. Okay, 458 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:31,479 Speaker 4: So I mean we were carrying debt, you know, for 459 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,199 Speaker 4: a very long time for me not to be a lawyer. 460 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:39,320 Speaker 4: But to your point, I had no idea what that 461 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,199 Speaker 4: was going to mean and what was that what that 462 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,440 Speaker 4: was going to feel like. It was just a goal 463 00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:48,200 Speaker 4: that I set for myself. I didn't even know what 464 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:51,159 Speaker 4: it was based on. I didn't know my why. I 465 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:54,639 Speaker 4: knew my what, but I didn't know my why, and 466 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:59,160 Speaker 4: and I could have felt like a failure for it, right, 467 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 4: but I I didn't. Un Fortunately I have parents. I 468 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 4: was like, let me try on some other things. To 469 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 4: your point, there are chapters in life. That was a chapter. 470 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:12,000 Speaker 4: I needed to do that and know that and understand that. 471 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 4: And I went on to have many many chapters. And 472 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,480 Speaker 4: I'm still glad that I got my law degree. The 473 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,399 Speaker 4: way I think, you know, how I see the world 474 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 4: is very much influenced by that education, but it wasn't 475 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,760 Speaker 4: who I was supposed to be. And there's no way 476 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,760 Speaker 4: I would have known that had I not tried it 477 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,879 Speaker 4: and then moved on from it and tried on some 478 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 4: other thing. So for Noel, they're just that life is 479 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 4: about the chapters, you know, It's never any one thing, 480 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:45,520 Speaker 4: and to place too much stock or put too much 481 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,960 Speaker 4: emotion on one or two achievements, it's it always sets 482 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,000 Speaker 4: you up for disappointment because life is bigger than that. 483 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:56,880 Speaker 5: So to to not take this into a sports metaphor, 484 00:23:56,920 --> 00:24:00,640 Speaker 5: which yeah, but. 485 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:03,960 Speaker 2: It seems to. 486 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,439 Speaker 5: Me that in order to be really good at what 487 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:10,520 Speaker 5: you do, and to be really good at what you do, 488 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 5: you can't just the goal. Can't just be the goal. 489 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:20,240 Speaker 5: You have to enjoy the process. Like guys who make 490 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:24,840 Speaker 5: it into professional athletics, they love to work out, they 491 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,720 Speaker 5: love to do the hard stuff, they love to get 492 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,719 Speaker 5: in the gym, they love to compete when nobody's watching, 493 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:36,000 Speaker 5: and that ends up being turning into a guy like 494 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:42,000 Speaker 5: Lebron or like Michael Jordan. And what I've finding is 495 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:46,199 Speaker 5: that people don't learn how to enjoy the process. Because 496 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,639 Speaker 5: Noel's done all this great work that got her to 497 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:53,000 Speaker 5: where she is, that she should be loving the fact 498 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 5: that she got there, and she can't because she got there, 499 00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:58,920 Speaker 5: and the goal was. 500 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:01,040 Speaker 2: The book. 501 00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,280 Speaker 5: I do the book, and then I get all of this. 502 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,760 Speaker 5: To your point, Kiki, I get all this stuff that's 503 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:07,280 Speaker 5: supposed to come with. 504 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 3: The book is because I think that what happens to 505 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,720 Speaker 3: us sometimes is we focus on the micro goal that 506 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 3: is actually servicing the macro goal. Now I don't know 507 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,679 Speaker 3: what that is for Noel, and sometimes we don't know, 508 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,280 Speaker 3: which is why the chapters are important. But let's say, 509 00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:23,800 Speaker 3: for instance, she just likes to tell stories through food. 510 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:30,040 Speaker 3: That's the real goal. Yeah, to tell stories through food. 511 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,919 Speaker 3: I can do that through helping people tell their stories 512 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,600 Speaker 3: to food. I can do that through food styling. And 513 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,480 Speaker 3: so I think what we often have to do is 514 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 3: pull back and say, you know, I talk about this 515 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 3: like it's not really just. 516 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,240 Speaker 2: That I like to perform. It's that I like to 517 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 2: make people believe in something. 518 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,400 Speaker 3: I like to make them feel inspired, excited, whether that's 519 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,000 Speaker 3: through a killing the bee, having a conversation here with y'all, 520 00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:54,640 Speaker 3: or you and your family getting together watching password. The 521 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:57,480 Speaker 3: macro goal the real goal that I'm servicing that never 522 00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:58,320 Speaker 3: has an ending. 523 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,720 Speaker 2: It is to just make people even feel good and aspired. 524 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,720 Speaker 3: Because I think that's another thing that I hear with 525 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:07,199 Speaker 3: Noel is like, that's the micro goal was to do 526 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,080 Speaker 3: this thing, the book, the book. 527 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,800 Speaker 2: The micro goal was to do the book. 528 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:14,720 Speaker 3: But the macro goal, you got to really identify that 529 00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,560 Speaker 3: to yourself, and that helps you to know that I'm 530 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,880 Speaker 3: going in the right direction. You feel that you're being 531 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 3: a service to that macro goal even when these micro 532 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:24,960 Speaker 3: goals go in the random directions that you didn't expect, 533 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,000 Speaker 3: because you know you're still servicing that real thing. 534 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:32,359 Speaker 4: But this is why I want you know, this piece 535 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:36,080 Speaker 4: of advice is for Noel, but it's also for parents 536 00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:39,200 Speaker 4: out there. It's for teachers, it's for the people who 537 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:42,960 Speaker 4: work with young people. You know, I think we put 538 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 4: too much emphasis on titles and salaries and stuff like that. 539 00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,679 Speaker 4: I mean, you know, one reason why I said I 540 00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,040 Speaker 4: wanted to be a lawyer was because when you say 541 00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 4: that out loud when you were a little kid, the 542 00:26:56,280 --> 00:27:01,000 Speaker 4: adults responses are always, oh, that's so wonderful, right, Like 543 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:02,479 Speaker 4: they don't even know what that is. 544 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 2: It's like it sounds good. You know, I want my 545 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,119 Speaker 2: daughter to be a lawyer, you know. 546 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:13,760 Speaker 4: So we're constantly giving feedback to kids, subtly and directly 547 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,240 Speaker 4: about what makes for a good life, what makes for 548 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,320 Speaker 4: a good career, choice, what makes you a good person, 549 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,679 Speaker 4: And a lot of times it's tied to what's your title, 550 00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 4: what's your salary? What school did you go to? What's 551 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 4: that name school? And we're sending those subtle messages. So 552 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:36,360 Speaker 4: now you become Noel and you've been all throughout your 553 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:40,840 Speaker 4: life pursuing these little applause lines that you get from 554 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,800 Speaker 4: adults that are a sign that this is good. Oh, 555 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:47,200 Speaker 4: you want to write a book? Oh that sounds impressive, right, 556 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 4: and get someone to. 557 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:48,879 Speaker 2: Write a book. 558 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:49,159 Speaker 4: You know. 559 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,520 Speaker 2: Mom reacted pretty well to that. 560 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,760 Speaker 4: So now I see young people getting caught at going 561 00:27:56,920 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 4: after words titles things, right, a salary, I want to 562 00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:05,480 Speaker 4: be rich, I want to be this name thing, and 563 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:11,119 Speaker 4: that keeps them from understanding their macro because they're not 564 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:15,439 Speaker 4: spending time thinking about who am I and what do 565 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:16,680 Speaker 4: I want to be in life? 566 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,360 Speaker 2: Because when I had to transition out of law, that. 567 00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:22,200 Speaker 4: Was the first time when I've decided at that stage, 568 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 4: after all that debt, I don't. 569 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:25,159 Speaker 2: Want to be a lawyer. 570 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,880 Speaker 4: Now I have to do the hard work of figuring out, well, 571 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,639 Speaker 4: who do I want to be? Because none of my 572 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,800 Speaker 4: degrees taught me to even think like that. No one 573 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,480 Speaker 4: had ever asked those questions. I was getting a's and 574 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:40,920 Speaker 4: awards and all that, but nobody ever said, who is 575 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:44,200 Speaker 4: Michelle and who do you want to be in the world. 576 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:45,920 Speaker 4: So I had to do that work on my own 577 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:50,080 Speaker 4: and start meeting with different people and hearing about different 578 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:51,240 Speaker 4: jobs and careers. 579 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 2: Because I was even limited. 580 00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,880 Speaker 4: To going to the best schools in the country, I 581 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,120 Speaker 4: was shown like ten careers I could be of all 582 00:28:58,160 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 4: the things in the world. 583 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,720 Speaker 2: You know, how did you discover? How did you get 584 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,880 Speaker 2: yourself to that answer? I'm curious. 585 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,960 Speaker 4: I started doing I started meeting with people. I started thinking, 586 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,440 Speaker 4: I had to start thinking outside of the box. 587 00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:11,360 Speaker 2: Like what do I enjoy? 588 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:15,080 Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, And it went back to kids and inspiring. 589 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:19,360 Speaker 4: It went back to mentoring, and it's like I get 590 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,520 Speaker 4: my most fulfillment I wake up and pop out of 591 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,960 Speaker 4: bed when I'm gonna sit down with another young person 592 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:29,800 Speaker 4: who was like me, and I could like share with 593 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,520 Speaker 4: them some secret some things I learned to help make 594 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,240 Speaker 4: their life a little bit easier because I know just 595 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:36,920 Speaker 4: how many young people just. 596 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,560 Speaker 3: Don't know and you really do that. Yeah, and it 597 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,360 Speaker 3: is really I don't want to just I mean, I 598 00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,560 Speaker 3: know we're hearing it. I'm not being biased, but you 599 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:48,040 Speaker 3: really do that, and it means so much to us, 600 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,960 Speaker 3: especially when you talk about you know, family and unity. 601 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:53,920 Speaker 3: I think that's something that our generation is really struggling 602 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 3: with right now. Not trying to speak for everybody, but yeah, 603 00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:00,360 Speaker 3: we just don't know how to be a WEE don't 604 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:04,640 Speaker 3: always understand how to get from challenges to peace. 605 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,280 Speaker 2: It's like everything is like, well, challenges. 606 00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:11,760 Speaker 3: Came, we gone, and it's like, yeah, I'm sure sometimes 607 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:15,040 Speaker 3: that's important to do. But when you speak about your family, 608 00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,600 Speaker 3: how you've gotten to where you are, and you always 609 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:22,440 Speaker 3: talk about there were challenges, but what you get on 610 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:24,520 Speaker 3: the other side of going through. 611 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 2: That is what you're looking for. 612 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,560 Speaker 4: But before you can understand the we, you have to 613 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:33,280 Speaker 4: understand the me. You know, like I had to take 614 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:39,200 Speaker 4: some time to really understand my I'll use your my macro, What. 615 00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:40,400 Speaker 2: Did I care about? 616 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,640 Speaker 4: How do I want to be in the world, how 617 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,680 Speaker 4: do I want to impact people? And so from there 618 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 4: really sort of saying to myself, well, my joy comes 619 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,840 Speaker 4: from giving and working with other people and working with 620 00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:58,680 Speaker 4: young people. That's really my joy, right And then now like, 621 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,000 Speaker 4: what are the careers I can do with that? 622 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:02,440 Speaker 2: Who are the people that do this. 623 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,120 Speaker 4: And their teachers is like, I don't know if I 624 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,520 Speaker 4: want to be in a classroom have some conversations with professors. 625 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,800 Speaker 4: I started talking to people at universities because young adults 626 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,360 Speaker 4: were there. I met with deans of students. I wrote 627 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:20,080 Speaker 4: to presidents of universities Northwestern. I wrote to the president 628 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,560 Speaker 4: of the University of Chicago. I was just making this 629 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,080 Speaker 4: stuff up and I sent letters saying this is who 630 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,640 Speaker 4: I am. I'm a young attorney. I went to these schools. 631 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:30,400 Speaker 4: I'd love to come and talk to you. And I 632 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,880 Speaker 4: got a lot of knows, but I got a handful 633 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:38,560 Speaker 4: of yeses. And I remember meeting with the head of 634 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,640 Speaker 4: Corporation Council for the University of Chicago. I'll never forget 635 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,280 Speaker 4: Art Susman, who has passed. 636 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:45,560 Speaker 2: He just said I would love to meet with you 637 00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:46,840 Speaker 2: because he was an attorney. 638 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:51,040 Speaker 4: And I sat down, took time off of lunch, met 639 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,120 Speaker 4: with him, talked about the university and all the things 640 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,360 Speaker 4: that you can do there, and then he introduced me 641 00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,920 Speaker 4: to Susan Shehr, who eventually became my chief of staff 642 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:04,120 Speaker 4: as first Lady Wow. She was working in the Mayor's 643 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:10,200 Speaker 4: office as Corporation Council. Eventually she introduced me to Valerie Jarrett, 644 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,760 Speaker 4: who then hired me to work in the city. These 645 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 4: are people who are now all my longtime friends. But 646 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,160 Speaker 4: this all came from me trying to find out my me, 647 00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,760 Speaker 4: and through it I met all these strangers. None of 648 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:26,520 Speaker 4: these people knew me to this story, and I started 649 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:30,000 Speaker 4: trying on other things. I just tried on other careers. 650 00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:33,080 Speaker 4: I worked for the city and planning and development, I 651 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,080 Speaker 4: worked in the Mayor's office, I started I started a 652 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:40,520 Speaker 4: nonprofit organization working with young people. All of this stuff built, 653 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:44,719 Speaker 4: and all those different careers and experiences started helping me 654 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,080 Speaker 4: understand my me right. 655 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,280 Speaker 2: And I just want to wrap it. 656 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,760 Speaker 4: Up by saying that point, by saying, we've got to 657 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 4: find a way, as parents and teachers to make that 658 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,080 Speaker 4: a part of the process of deciding who and what 659 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:04,120 Speaker 4: you want to be, and it has to involve some 660 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:09,040 Speaker 4: exploration and instead of keeping the aperture of possibility for 661 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:13,400 Speaker 4: kids open and not asking them to narrow it so 662 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:16,320 Speaker 4: so much so that they only start, they focus. 663 00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,680 Speaker 2: On the wrong things yes, and compare. 664 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:21,760 Speaker 4: And get confused about what true happiness is. 665 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:28,120 Speaker 5: So yeah, no, that's so, let's try and give Noel 666 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:31,640 Speaker 5: some advice to because I'm hearing from both of it. 667 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:37,280 Speaker 5: This macro thing is something to really grab onto. How 668 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,440 Speaker 5: can we help Noel find her macro? 669 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:42,520 Speaker 2: That's a really good question. 670 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:46,520 Speaker 3: I always do personal prompts like what she was just saying, 671 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:50,560 Speaker 3: you know is ask myself right down, ask myself a 672 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,760 Speaker 3: question that I would ask someone else. What makes me happy? 673 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:59,080 Speaker 3: How does food service that? How can I be of 674 00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 3: service to me? A good way to find your macro 675 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:04,840 Speaker 3: is I think always a point of view of service. 676 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,800 Speaker 3: I truly believe that we all feel most purposeful when 677 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,400 Speaker 3: we are being service to something else. You think that 678 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,839 Speaker 3: it's when you're getting when you're receiving accolades, but actually 679 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,359 Speaker 3: it's when you're giving stuff out. And so I would 680 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,640 Speaker 3: ask myself, how do I feel like I can best 681 00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:20,600 Speaker 3: be of service? What makes me happy? And how does 682 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:23,160 Speaker 3: food play a part in those? Those things? That would 683 00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:25,600 Speaker 3: be my first three, just to throw something out there 684 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:26,480 Speaker 3: to help leader there. 685 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:31,600 Speaker 4: I would also want Noel to think about what does 686 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:32,560 Speaker 4: happiness mean? 687 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:33,759 Speaker 2: What does that mean? 688 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:35,000 Speaker 3: Right? 689 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:39,160 Speaker 4: Because I also notice among young people, because I mentor 690 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:47,319 Speaker 4: a lot of young people, the expectations of life are outsized. Yes, 691 00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:50,000 Speaker 4: I mean, I just think it is true. I think 692 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,800 Speaker 4: we have a generation of young people in their twenties 693 00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:58,600 Speaker 4: who think that the goal is their personal happiness period 694 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:05,200 Speaker 4: and that is just not life, you know, you know, 695 00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:10,160 Speaker 4: I mean service is a better goal than happiness because 696 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:13,759 Speaker 4: you know, life is full of bumps and bruises. And 697 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,200 Speaker 4: if we if we're teaching young people that it's all 698 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:19,960 Speaker 4: about happiness, because Noel has been she's been chasing some 699 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,200 Speaker 4: false belief of happiness, like there's a place that you 700 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:28,000 Speaker 4: land where there the land is forever happy and there 701 00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:31,759 Speaker 4: is never a bump. I hear that that's part of 702 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,840 Speaker 4: her disappointment. Yeah, because she's waiting for the thing to 703 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,000 Speaker 4: be perfect. 704 00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:38,000 Speaker 3: I think that's also a big thing when you when 705 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,560 Speaker 3: we're talking about the generation and just how we're all 706 00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:42,880 Speaker 3: growing through this phase. There is the reality that I 707 00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,799 Speaker 3: think has to hit us all that discomfort is a. 708 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,080 Speaker 2: Part of lit, It is a part of life. 709 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,359 Speaker 3: This period that Noel is also in is like that 710 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:51,960 Speaker 3: may just be the vibe right now. 711 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:52,279 Speaker 2: That's right. 712 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,000 Speaker 4: We don't have you right, you achieved a thing and 713 00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,440 Speaker 4: now you had because they had a high with it 714 00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,560 Speaker 4: and you celebrated it, and now it levels back. Call right, 715 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:04,160 Speaker 4: So DW dude, does Noel know how to deal with level? 716 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:06,640 Speaker 4: Does she know how to does she know how to 717 00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:09,080 Speaker 4: exist when life is just life? 718 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:09,600 Speaker 2: Yes? 719 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:11,920 Speaker 4: You know? And I talk to my girls about this 720 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:16,799 Speaker 4: all the time. It's like, learn to be satisfied. My 721 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:19,160 Speaker 4: mom says it to me. Where this was the thing 722 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,919 Speaker 4: that our parents said, This is another midwestern Chicago South 723 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:26,920 Speaker 4: that never satisfied. I mean, we didn't have anything, but 724 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:31,000 Speaker 4: the minute we acted like we weren't appreciating what was 725 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,040 Speaker 4: on our plate, it was like. 726 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:34,359 Speaker 2: Never satisfied. 727 00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:36,680 Speaker 4: How are you asking for something and you still have 728 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:38,600 Speaker 4: something on your plate? You know? 729 00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:42,920 Speaker 2: I tell my girls the greatest gift. 730 00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:46,200 Speaker 4: That they can have developed for themselves is the ability 731 00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:49,440 Speaker 4: to be self sad, to be happy where you are 732 00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:52,400 Speaker 4: wherever that is. Didn't to learn how to be like 733 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:57,600 Speaker 4: I this is not exciting. I'm not winning, I'm not losing. 734 00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:02,000 Speaker 4: I'm not achieving. I'm not it's not a party. I 735 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,000 Speaker 4: don't have friends around every day. It's like most of 736 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:09,080 Speaker 4: life is just it's nothing. Nothing in the middle, yes, 737 00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:12,800 Speaker 4: and I think this generation they don't want that nothing 738 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:16,880 Speaker 4: in the middle. You know, when things are just bland, 739 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:21,000 Speaker 4: which is y'all, most of life is just ordinary. 740 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:21,920 Speaker 2: You know. 741 00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,200 Speaker 4: You got to learn how to be happy alone. You 742 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:27,680 Speaker 4: got to be happy a little bored. You got to 743 00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:30,239 Speaker 4: be happy when things are hard. You got to learn 744 00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,280 Speaker 4: how to be satisfied when you failed. Ye, and things 745 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,960 Speaker 4: don't go your way because all of that keeps to 746 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,560 Speaker 4: you getting up. But I think there are a lot 747 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:42,400 Speaker 4: of young people who are searching for this impossible feeling 748 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,600 Speaker 4: of continuous happiness. 749 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,279 Speaker 3: I'm curious with you both because you know, we're talking 750 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,960 Speaker 3: about the generation. But it's also like it's like when 751 00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,440 Speaker 3: I was saying the age I went through blaming my parents, Okay, 752 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,239 Speaker 3: this is the age of having to realize that you 753 00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,560 Speaker 3: have to be comfortable and discomfort and everything's not going 754 00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:59,640 Speaker 3: to go your way. When you think about you and 755 00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:02,560 Speaker 3: your ear early thirties, what you know and you're dealing 756 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:04,759 Speaker 3: with the new reality of Because that's the thing is, 757 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,359 Speaker 3: we all are breaking the realities that we thought would 758 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:09,719 Speaker 3: be at eighteen. I'm grown, okay, and I really in 759 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,320 Speaker 3: my twenties. It's fun, actually this was terrible at thirty 760 00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:16,520 Speaker 3: realizations that I have to contend with. How was it 761 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:19,120 Speaker 3: for you guys when you were approaching that and had 762 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:20,800 Speaker 3: to come to those realizations? 763 00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:21,719 Speaker 2: How did you deal? 764 00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:23,160 Speaker 6: For me? 765 00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,120 Speaker 4: Go ahead, you go, you know what I've what I've 766 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,680 Speaker 4: learned now that I'm sixty, right, because there's no that's right, 767 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:33,120 Speaker 4: there's wisdom. You know, you look back on your life. 768 00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:35,680 Speaker 4: You only know what you know. And of course you 769 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,240 Speaker 4: thought you were grown at twenty. Of course you thought 770 00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:40,880 Speaker 4: you knew what you were doing at thirty. Of course 771 00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:44,280 Speaker 4: that's all you knew. I used to joke with the girls, 772 00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,080 Speaker 4: it's like when they have some epiphany about life that 773 00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,560 Speaker 4: I was that I was telling them. It's like I 774 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,640 Speaker 4: told you that when you attend, I've been telling you 775 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:54,640 Speaker 4: that girl, you know, and I'm getting a lot in 776 00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:55,200 Speaker 4: their twenties. 777 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,960 Speaker 2: Well, mom, you were right. I didn't even think about that. 778 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:02,960 Speaker 4: I was like, just imagine you just where you're you're twenty, 779 00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:06,720 Speaker 4: You just now putting together sentences. You know, at twenty 780 00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:10,160 Speaker 4: you got five years of that. You couldn't even talk straight, right, 781 00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,680 Speaker 4: You didn't you know? You were learning how to go 782 00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,360 Speaker 4: to the bathroom on the toilet, you know, it's like 783 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:16,920 Speaker 4: you're young. 784 00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,480 Speaker 2: You just haven't even been here long enough. 785 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,920 Speaker 4: And now that i'm you know, wisdom comes with age, 786 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:24,480 Speaker 4: so with wisdom. 787 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:27,360 Speaker 2: In hindsight, I realized that that is life. 788 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:32,759 Speaker 4: Life is becoming, Like we are all ways becoming. There 789 00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:36,799 Speaker 4: is no point in which you stop learning and discovering 790 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:40,000 Speaker 4: and you get to a place where, ah, this is 791 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:43,080 Speaker 4: it and and do you really want that? That would 792 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,200 Speaker 4: be crazy, That would be crazy. At this stage, I 793 00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:49,960 Speaker 4: am still becoming. I've learned something new about myself as 794 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:54,480 Speaker 4: a woman. I'm more in touch with my fee my confidence. 795 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:59,400 Speaker 4: I know what I know, and I feel I feel 796 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,520 Speaker 4: more empowered to claim what I know. I don't doubt 797 00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:05,160 Speaker 4: myself in the ways that I did in my forties 798 00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,160 Speaker 4: and fifties, because that's still coming for you too, you. 799 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:10,399 Speaker 3: Know, and only imagine and that's what I'm hearing from 800 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:13,880 Speaker 3: you is literally just to keep living, you know that 801 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,840 Speaker 3: just you know, the expectations and the you know. I 802 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,600 Speaker 3: think that's the thing is like, you know, yeah, we're 803 00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:21,279 Speaker 3: always becoming. I think that was that's a great way 804 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,920 Speaker 3: to put that, because yet it's never ending. 805 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:25,799 Speaker 2: These realizations that we're going. 806 00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:28,719 Speaker 5: To have and we'll we'll we'll leave Noel with us 807 00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:29,680 Speaker 5: as we close. 808 00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:35,960 Speaker 4: Are we closing already closed, unfortunately, but we want to 809 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,400 Speaker 4: send Noel home. 810 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:42,320 Speaker 5: With find your macro. Yes, stay away from those titles 811 00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:46,360 Speaker 5: and keep becoming. Yeah, keep becoming. 812 00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:47,680 Speaker 2: Well, you better wrap that up. 813 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,799 Speaker 4: I also want to remind Noel and young people that 814 00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:52,960 Speaker 4: happiness is within your power. 815 00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:55,080 Speaker 2: You know, the hell do we mean? 816 00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:59,120 Speaker 4: The happiness that she is trying to find in this 817 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:01,240 Speaker 4: job and this book is this whatever. 818 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:05,640 Speaker 2: It's not the external achievements, it's are you? 819 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,880 Speaker 4: Are you good with you when you're all alone and 820 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:14,000 Speaker 4: achieving nothing and nobody's around. Have you learned Noel, how 821 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:18,920 Speaker 4: to be okay with you? Because that that disappointment, You know, 822 00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:23,600 Speaker 4: the next achievement will happen and it will pass. You know, 823 00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:26,359 Speaker 4: the next big thing will come and it will go. 824 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:30,920 Speaker 4: And when you are left, what you're left with is yourself. 825 00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,880 Speaker 4: And that's that self work that I would want Noel 826 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,640 Speaker 4: to do, you know, thinking about the prompts of who 827 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:37,880 Speaker 4: you are and who you want to be. 828 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,120 Speaker 2: But I think all young people. 829 00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:43,359 Speaker 4: You will not find your happiness on a phone on 830 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:44,160 Speaker 4: social media. 831 00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:47,160 Speaker 2: You won't find it in a salary, you won't find 832 00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:50,000 Speaker 2: it in a title. You know, you will find it 833 00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,480 Speaker 2: once you figure out what really grounds you. 834 00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:56,200 Speaker 4: And as you said, Kiki, a lot of times that's 835 00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:59,640 Speaker 4: serving others, you know. And if Noel gets out of 836 00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:03,880 Speaker 4: her head and balances out her achievements with some giving, 837 00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:10,280 Speaker 4: you know, I think that she will find more more peace. 838 00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:13,440 Speaker 2: I think that's I just want to know. 839 00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:16,320 Speaker 5: That's perfect, because Noel is getting it from the young 840 00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:18,399 Speaker 5: and the not so young. 841 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:24,120 Speaker 2: I'm on the floor. You so wash it. My gosh, 842 00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:25,600 Speaker 2: he's the old man. 843 00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:32,080 Speaker 5: And this has been terrific. We love you were. 844 00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:39,880 Speaker 2: Did I listen to you? Guys? Please let me come back. Please, 845 00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:41,439 Speaker 2: I just need. 846 00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:41,680 Speaker 5: To get. 847 00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:43,279 Speaker 6: You. 848 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:46,480 Speaker 2: We will find you because that you just laid on 849 00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:47,240 Speaker 2: me today. 850 00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:50,240 Speaker 4: You have some tea too, some tea with some living 851 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:55,000 Speaker 4: and Craig you something but you know match Capricorn and 852 00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:56,800 Speaker 4: Virgo and were. 853 00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:04,080 Speaker 2: Good table. I'm so proud of you, girl than I 854 00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:04,960 Speaker 2: really am. 855 00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,080 Speaker 4: You are showing up in the world and being the 856 00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:09,080 Speaker 4: role model you were. 857 00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:10,000 Speaker 2: You know, you. 858 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,960 Speaker 4: Were putting your light out there and we all feel 859 00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,000 Speaker 4: it so the world. 860 00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,840 Speaker 3: To me, you're an inspiration. I'm so glad to meet you. 861 00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:21,200 Speaker 3: You are inspiration as well. 862 00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:24,120 Speaker 5: This discussion is not over we'll have another one. Y. 863 00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:27,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm happy about that. 864 00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:30,640 Speaker 4: Thank you, big, thank you. 865 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:34,960 Speaker 1: OKBA fam, Wasn't that amazing? Y'all? Gotta go check out 866 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:38,759 Speaker 1: i AMO with Michelle Obama, my Forever First Lady, and 867 00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,960 Speaker 1: her big brother Craig Robinson. Don't forget. You can find 868 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,640 Speaker 1: more episodes wherever you get podcasts.