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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry letter to Steve Harvey FM and click

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Speaker 1: Submit Strawberry Letters Steve HARVEYFM dot com. That's all you

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Speaker 1: gotta do to send your letter. We could be reading

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Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're going

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Speaker 1: to read this one right here, right now, and you

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Speaker 1: never know, it could be yours. You never know. Buggle

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Speaker 1: up and hold on time. We got to pull your

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Speaker 1: head each cry letter all right, thank you enough you subject.

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Speaker 1: The soldier is never at attention. Dear Stephen Shirley. My

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Speaker 1: husband and I are both in the military, and he's

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Speaker 1: still he's still active duty, and I'm retired. I'm raising

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Speaker 1: our two sons and I do personal training for three

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Speaker 1: clients to earn extra money. I'm in shape and I

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Speaker 1: want my husband to stay in shape too. He works out,

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Speaker 1: but he doesn't take care of his body. In Helnally,

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Speaker 1: his diet has made him pre diabetic and he's on medications.

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Speaker 1: The medication affects both of us because his soldier is

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Speaker 1: never at attention anymore. It's been close to three months

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Speaker 1: and he doesn't seem to care that I've got needs.

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Speaker 1: If he doesn't get his blood pressure and sugar intake together,

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Speaker 1: it's going to kill this marriage. I've always been the

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Speaker 1: one to initiate sex and he loved that about me.

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Speaker 1: It makes me think he's tired of my body and

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Speaker 1: he has no interest in pleasing me. I called his

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Speaker 1: physician and he couldn't tell me anything, but he did

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Speaker 1: say that my husband can take better care of themselves

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Speaker 1: and suggest it I help him out with that. I

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Speaker 1: took all of the sugar out of the house and

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Speaker 1: we eat clean now, but that's not helping. So I

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Speaker 1: decided to check his meds and the bottles are full.

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Speaker 1: I asked him why he why he wasn't taking the pills,

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Speaker 1: and he said he doesn't like the way they make

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Speaker 1: him feel. Then he said that we've had plenty of

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Speaker 1: great sex over the years and we will get to

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Speaker 1: it soon. I can't believe he's being so selfish, and

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Speaker 1: if the roles were reversed, he'd have a fit if

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Speaker 1: I deprived him of sex. I get a lot of

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Speaker 1: attention at the gym, the grocery store, of the park,

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Speaker 1: and everywhere else I go. And I've never considered cheating

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Speaker 1: in the eight years I've been married, But it's all

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Speaker 1: I think about now. I dream of sex, watch porn

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Speaker 1: on my phone, and take care of my own needs occasionally.

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Speaker 1: Will I be selfish like him if I step out

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Speaker 1: and get myself my sexual needs fulfilled? Okay, hold up,

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Speaker 1: wait a minute. All right, you're moving a little fast,

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Speaker 1: and honestly, I think you're the one being selfish. Your husband,

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Speaker 1: you said so plainly in the letter, has a medical

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Speaker 1: issue and he's trying to deal with it as best

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Speaker 1: he can right now. I'm sure it's a shocker to

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Speaker 1: him to have to deal with all of this. You know,

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Speaker 1: it would be so easy to say to you, Yes,

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Speaker 1: you have needs and he's not taking care of you home.

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Speaker 1: You gotta do what you gotta do. That's what a

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Speaker 1: lot of men do when they're not getting it at home,

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Speaker 1: and we accept it as the norm. But we do

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Speaker 1: live in a world with double standards. So before you

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Speaker 1: go outside of your marriage, please let me say this.

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Speaker 1: I understand how you feel, but don't step out on

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Speaker 1: your husband. Try to fix things with him first. I mean,

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Speaker 1: there are things he can obviously do to help himself,

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Speaker 1: but so far he's not doing it. He said he

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Speaker 1: doesn't like the way the meds make him feel. So,

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Speaker 1: you know, sometimes you have to go back to the

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Speaker 1: doctor and get your meds regulated, and you know, maybe

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Speaker 1: you need not such a strong dose and all of that.

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Speaker 1: So you gotta take all these things into consideration before

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Speaker 1: you consider, you know, stepping out on your husband. You

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Speaker 1: get looks at you know, when you go out to

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Speaker 1: the grocery store and all that. But you said you're

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Speaker 1: in shape, and that's okay. But I think you need

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Speaker 1: to talk to your husband, let him know exactly how

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Speaker 1: you feel, try to find out what else is going

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Speaker 1: on with him. Maybe this time he'll actually hear your frustration.

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Speaker 1: You know. The thing is when he said, you know

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Speaker 1: you've had great sex in the past and you'll get

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Speaker 1: back to that. I think that left you a little

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Speaker 1: glimmer of hope. So um, you know the problem is

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Speaker 1: when is he what is he doing to make soon happen.

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Speaker 1: So you need to encourage him, go back to the doctor,

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Speaker 1: check his meds, you know, continue to help him out

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Speaker 1: with his diet. I think your marriage is salvageable here.

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Speaker 1: I don't think you need to step out on him

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Speaker 1: just yet. I just think it's gonna take some work

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Speaker 1: on both you guys. As part, Steve Shirley read me

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Speaker 1: the title of the letter again, because why I am

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Speaker 1: I don't have prinice, guys, all right, The title is

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Speaker 1: the soldier. The soldier has never at attention. This soldier

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Speaker 1: is never at attention. This letter, y'all, is not about

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Speaker 1: the fact that he's active military and she's retired military.

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Speaker 1: That ain't what this is about. This ain't about the

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Speaker 1: fact that tomern extra income that she does person on

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Speaker 1: the train in the two or three clients on the side.

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Speaker 1: This letter is about her husband being on high blood

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Speaker 1: pressure medicine and the high blood pressure medicine is causing

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Speaker 1: e D. The medical term for that is erectile dysfunction.

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Speaker 1: It is the number one killer in black men today.

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Speaker 1: Oh I know, you think it's heart disease, and oh

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Speaker 1: I know you think it's crime. It all you probably

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Speaker 1: think is, you know, gas prices. But the number one

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Speaker 1: killer in black men today is e D. Erectile. This focus,

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Speaker 1: so let's just talk of you about what this letter

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Speaker 1: is really about. He has a problem and he's not

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Speaker 1: taking care of itself. So his doctor has high blood

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Speaker 1: pressure medication high blood pressure medication with diabetes. Medication can

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Speaker 1: cause several side effects in men, and the only one

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Speaker 1: that matters to any of us is erectile this function.

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Speaker 1: I have read medicines that said one of the side

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Speaker 1: effects his blindness. I choose blindness. Hold On, people say

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Speaker 1: side effects is loss of hearing. Hold On, I don't

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Speaker 1: need to hear a damn thing. We'll have to address

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Speaker 1: all of this, Yes we will. Part two of Steven's

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Speaker 1: response is coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letters subject is the soldier is never at attention.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 1: to show, all right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letters. Subject is this soldier is never at attention?

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Speaker 1: The subject for the Strawberry letter today is this soldier

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Speaker 1: is never at attention. Now we're talking about a military

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Speaker 1: family here, so you're probably thinking this is a military problem.

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Speaker 1: It's not. He's at the duty. She's retired to make

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Speaker 1: extra money. She on the side trained to three people

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Speaker 1: in her class. Her husband is active military. But that's

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Speaker 1: all he active. He is just active military. He is

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Speaker 1: in active at the house in the bedroom. Now the

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Speaker 1: problem that lady says, this has been going on for

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Speaker 1: three months. Seems like a short time, but I've considered

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Speaker 1: suicide after thirty days myself one time. It's not about it,

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Speaker 1: I know, well, this letter is about me, shelling. I

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Speaker 1: know how to talk to people about this because I'm

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Speaker 1: sixty five years old. I've had to deal with a

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Speaker 1: lot of things my life, and I can help people.

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Speaker 1: This letter is about ed erectile dysfunction. Now, the woman

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Speaker 1: says she's been dealing with this medical problem with her

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Speaker 1: husband for ninety days and she's thinking about stepping out.

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Speaker 1: I had to go thirty days without him one time,

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Speaker 1: and that's when I was suicide. I had considered, you know,

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Speaker 1: stepping off in front of a bus or something. Now,

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Speaker 1: like he said, then listen on this zoom. Ladies, y'all

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Speaker 1: can stop shaking your head because you're not gonna stop

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Speaker 1: me from saying what I'm saying. Y'all women, y'all don't

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Speaker 1: even have his damn problem. Let me handle this. All

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Speaker 1: y'all women sending up here laying back, don't say that.

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Speaker 1: Don't say that he's a killer. It's a hardbreaking ass killer.

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Speaker 1: Have you sitting up laying at night, dream dreaming of

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Speaker 1: days gone by? Remember when I could just all day

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Speaker 1: any day? You're doing it now, y'all, I'm doing it. Now,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna do it. Didn't y'all do it again? How

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Speaker 1: about how about not try it now all day? Every day?

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Speaker 1: Years have gone by. Brothers get busy, lives getting busy.

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Speaker 1: You know you're going through a divorce or something. Next thing,

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Speaker 1: you know, you look up and ain't quite what it

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Speaker 1: was you miss that electrified hair raised an event on

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Speaker 1: the back of your neck. It used to feel like

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Speaker 1: he lets somebody had took a refrigerator cord and jammed

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Speaker 1: it up your crack and plugged you into the wall.

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Speaker 1: That's what it felt like. God. But as you get older,

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Speaker 1: that feeling diminishes. You went from this hill this is

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Speaker 1: what it used to be like. It gets to wear.

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Speaker 1: It's just one more time in your twenties, you spitting,

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Speaker 1: the slobbling and everything. Now, who why should we did that?

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Speaker 1: Didn't whoo? So it's men. That's as that that's going damn. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm here for you, yea. So now here's what has

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Speaker 1: to happen. Now? You mad because this high blood pressure

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Speaker 1: gives your husband these side effects, but now you don't

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Speaker 1: look in the medicine cabinet and he ain't even taking

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Speaker 1: his high blood pressure. See. I don't take high blood

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Speaker 1: pressure medication because of the side effects. But now when

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Speaker 1: you take ed medicine, they have side effects to cloudy memory,

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Speaker 1: cloudy memory, stuffy headaches, ear burning, ear burning. I've had

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Speaker 1: the tops of my ears just on fire. I don't

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Speaker 1: give a damn what. I couldn't breathe for three days.

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Speaker 1: One time I did all my talking and breathing with

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Speaker 1: my mouth hanging over. Because I'm fine, blood vision, my

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Speaker 1: eyes is shut anyway, what do I need to see? Folk?

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Speaker 1: Swollen ankles? Don't tie your shoes up, everybody. I'm just

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Speaker 1: telling See. So there's the problem. Now. The woman in

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Speaker 1: the letter is complaining that she gets a lot of

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Speaker 1: tension at the gym and she's never thought about stepping out,

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Speaker 1: but since she ain't had sex in ninety days, she

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Speaker 1: now is considering for the first time. She watched pawing

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Speaker 1: all the time and everything. It's to me and I

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Speaker 1: head a volunteer to help you. That's not a problem.

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Speaker 1: But after ninety days, you considering your messing up your

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Speaker 1: manage your vows was honor help in sickness and in health,

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Speaker 1: richea off of poor Till death do you part? And

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Speaker 1: that's part. Let me focus for just one minute on

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Speaker 1: that last line. You take your wedding vials to death?

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Speaker 1: Do you part? And I did? And somebody asked me

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Speaker 1: one time with Steve, you've had two divorces, how can

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Speaker 1: you say you honor your vials to death? Do you part?

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Speaker 1: I said, as soon as I felt like I was dying,

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Speaker 1: I got the divorce. That's what it said, till death

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Speaker 1: do you part? Once I felt like I was dying,

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Speaker 1: I thought it was time to part. That's something in

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Speaker 1: everything to be learned. With all these letters, y'alls not

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Speaker 1: being so damn judge mental, but all you brothers out

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Speaker 1: there that is worried about side effects, bring them on

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Speaker 1: Steve hurt. Let them hurt Steve with erect how dysfunction medication,

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Speaker 1: take them out. Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: at Steve Harry FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check

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Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand as well. Now

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Speaker 1: coming up at forty six minutes after the hour. It

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Speaker 1: is Junior and Sports talk. Right after this, you're listening

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Speaker 1: to The Dave Harvey Morning Show