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Speaker 1: Bug it up. Hold on subject subject pregnant, single and

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Speaker 1: raising a thirteen year old boy. Good morning to all, Steve.

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Speaker 1: I have been waiting for the chance to speak to

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Speaker 1: you and Shirley, or have you speaken to my life.

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Speaker 1: I'm a single parent of a thirteen year old boy.

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Speaker 1: My son is very intelligent, a straight A student. My

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Speaker 1: concern with my son is that I feel he lacks

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Speaker 1: common sense. It is very frustrating. I try the best

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Speaker 1: way I know how to help him in this area

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Speaker 1: of his life, but it seems as if I've made

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Speaker 1: it worse. How do you teach a child common sense?

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Speaker 1: We really need your help. Because of the situation, we

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Speaker 1: have limited conversation. He is scared to talk to me.

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Speaker 1: I know it's because I made him feel like that,

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Speaker 1: But what am I supposed to do? I just want

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Speaker 1: to know when he is out in the world, he

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Speaker 1: can and will make the best decisions on his own.

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Speaker 1: I feel so bad to the point that I cry

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Speaker 1: and ask God to help me. I don't see what

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Speaker 1: I am doing wrong, but it's obvious that I am

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Speaker 1: doing something wrong. For the record, let me just put

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Speaker 1: it out there. It's not the pregnancy. He has been

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Speaker 1: like this before I even thought of having another baby.

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Speaker 1: Here are a few examples of his behavior. Keep in

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Speaker 1: mind he is thirteen. Number one, I have to remind

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Speaker 1: him to eat. If you don't ask him, he won't

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Speaker 1: get up and feed himself. Number two, I have to

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Speaker 1: remind him to Bathe days go by and he won't

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Speaker 1: think on his own to take a shower. Sometimes I

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Speaker 1: won't say anything, just to see how long it would

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Speaker 1: take for him to take a shower on his own.

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Speaker 1: Number three. All he wants to do in the houses

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Speaker 1: lay around. I mean he balls his whole body up

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Speaker 1: and we'll just lay there. I mean, he balls his

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Speaker 1: whole body up and we'll just lay there. Even when

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Speaker 1: we go out, he would lay his head on a

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Speaker 1: table or ball his legs up in a chair. I

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Speaker 1: don't understand. I you to be light with my words,

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Speaker 1: but lately I have been hard on him because I

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Speaker 1: can't take it anymore. Number four, he will not groom himself.

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Speaker 1: I am the complete opposite, So I don't know where

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Speaker 1: he gets this from. I tell him how to groom

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Speaker 1: as a man, but I can't show him like he

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Speaker 1: can't stay in the room with me when I'm getting dressed. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: he can't do everything I do. He's a boy. Our

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Speaker 1: communication is fading because he feels scared to talk to me.

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Speaker 1: Please help us, Steve. I am open to any suggestions

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Speaker 1: to develop a healthy relationship with my son. I have

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Speaker 1: to be honest with you and the public. I feel

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Speaker 1: I am to blame for this situation escalating because now

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Speaker 1: it's hard for me to talk to him with already

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Speaker 1: being without already being frustrated. What approach should I take

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Speaker 1: with him? He asked, No, he does not have a

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Speaker 1: male role model in his life, not even the guy

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Speaker 1: I am pregnant by. That is a whole another letter. Sincerely,

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Speaker 1: frustrated Mom. Dear frustrated mom, you know, and I'll go

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Speaker 1: through my answer quickly. UM, as a mom, you know,

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Speaker 1: I do feel your because parenting, uh is the hardest

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Speaker 1: job in the world. I can say. The good news

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Speaker 1: is that he has straight a's. You know. That's a start. Um,

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Speaker 1: But I agree with you. You You need book sense and

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Speaker 1: you need common sense. And after that, I say, he

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Speaker 1: needs what you say he doesn't have in his life,

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Speaker 1: and that's a father or some sort of male role model,

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Speaker 1: you know. And I really wish that men and fathers

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Speaker 1: would get and and realize how important it is that, um,

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Speaker 1: you know they are involved in the development of their child.

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Speaker 1: And Steve, I know that, UM, you know you do

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Speaker 1: this all the time, your mentor you know. This is

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Speaker 1: what we talked about a lot on the show, and

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Speaker 1: she really wants to hear from you. You have sons,

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Speaker 1: so you know twelve after when you come back. Okay,

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Speaker 1: come on, Steve, let's get to it. Part two of

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Speaker 1: your response to today's Strawberry letter. I think I have

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Speaker 1: something right up here reality, Steve, I got son, so

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Speaker 1: already know a deal on this pregnancy, single and raising

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Speaker 1: thirteen year old boy. Good morning to all, Steve. I've

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Speaker 1: been waiting for the chance to speak to you in

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Speaker 1: Shirley or have you speaking to my life. I'm a

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Speaker 1: single parent of a thirteen year old boy. My son

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Speaker 1: is very intelligent or straight a student. My concern with

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Speaker 1: my son is that I feel that he lacks common sense.

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Speaker 1: It's very frustrated. I tried the best way I know

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Speaker 1: how to help him in this area of his life,

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Speaker 1: but it seems as it's as if I've made it worse.

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Speaker 1: How do you teach a child common says? We really

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Speaker 1: need your help because of the situation, we have limited conversation.

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Speaker 1: He's scared to talk to me. I know it's because

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Speaker 1: I made him feel like that, But what am I

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Speaker 1: supposed to do? I just wanted to know when needs,

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Speaker 1: when he's out in the world, that he will make

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Speaker 1: the best decisions on his own. I feel so bad

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Speaker 1: to the point that I cry and ask God to

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Speaker 1: help me. I don't see what I am doing wrong,

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Speaker 1: but it's obvious that I'm doing something wrong. For the record,

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Speaker 1: let me put it out there is not the pregnancy.

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Speaker 1: He has men like this before I even thought of

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Speaker 1: having another baby. Here are a few examples of his behavior.

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Speaker 1: Keep in mind here is thirteen. Number one, I have

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Speaker 1: to remind him to eat. If you don't ask him,

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Speaker 1: he won't get up and feed himself. Number two, I

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Speaker 1: have to remind him to Bathe days go by and

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Speaker 1: he won't think on his own to take a shower.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I won't say anything to see how long it

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Speaker 1: would take him to take a shower on his own.

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Speaker 1: Number three, all he wants to do in the houses

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Speaker 1: lay around how many balls his whole body up and

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Speaker 1: would just lay there. Even when we go out, when

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Speaker 1: he would just lay his head on the table and

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Speaker 1: ball his legs up in the chair. I don't understand.

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Speaker 1: I used to be light with my words, but lastly

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Speaker 1: I have our guests lately. I don't know what I've

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Speaker 1: been hard on him because I can't take it anymore.

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Speaker 1: He will not groom himself. I am the complete opposite,

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Speaker 1: so I don't know where he gets this from. I

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Speaker 1: tell him how to groom as a man, but I

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Speaker 1: can't show him like. He can't stay in the room

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Speaker 1: with me when I'm getting dressed anyway, He can't do

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Speaker 1: everything I do. He is a boy. Our communication is

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Speaker 1: fading because he feels scared to talk to me. Please

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Speaker 1: help us, Steve. I'm open to any suggestion developer help

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Speaker 1: relationship with my son. I have to be honest with

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Speaker 1: you in the public. I feel that I'm to blame

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Speaker 1: for this situation because of how it's hard for me

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Speaker 1: to talk to him without already being frustrated. What approach

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Speaker 1: would I take with him? PS? No, he does not

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Speaker 1: have a man role model in his life, not even

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Speaker 1: the guy I'm pregnant by. That's a whole another letter,

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Speaker 1: sincerely for a straighted mom. Well frustrated mom, Uh, you

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Speaker 1: have every right to be frustrated. You have a lot

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Speaker 1: to do with this, But I want to tell you something.

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Speaker 1: The examples you're using as a boy, I just want

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Speaker 1: you to understand that here are a few examples of

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Speaker 1: his be his behavior. You say that your son doesn't

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Speaker 1: have common sense, I have to remind him to eat.

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Speaker 1: If you don't ask him, he won't get up to

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Speaker 1: feed himself. Slow down a little bit. When your son

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Speaker 1: is watching TV or playing, do you know I have

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Speaker 1: to stop. All of my kids have always said have

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Speaker 1: you eaten anything yet? Because once they get involved with

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Speaker 1: that TV, on that computer, in them games, having fun,

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Speaker 1: you got to remind your child to eat all the time.

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Speaker 1: You're not the only one that's having to do that.

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Speaker 1: But hear me, trust me on this one. When he

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Speaker 1: gets hungry, he gonna go get something to eat. When

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Speaker 1: your child gets hungry, he will go and get something

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Speaker 1: to eat the moment he's not any longer preoccupied. So

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Speaker 1: know that that's happening in every household across the country.

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Speaker 1: Or you have the other excreen, you gotta tell these

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Speaker 1: some of these kids to quit even because all they're

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Speaker 1: doing is eating. Okay, So I don't know if that's

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Speaker 1: so bad. Number one. Number two, I have to remind

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Speaker 1: him to bathe days go by and he won't think

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Speaker 1: on his own to take a shower. Sometimes I won't

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Speaker 1: say anything. See how long will take him to take

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Speaker 1: a shower. You have a boy, You have a boy.

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Speaker 1: Majority of the boys have to be reminded to take

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Speaker 1: a shower until they get up. Around sixteen, they might

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Speaker 1: start getting in there on their own because they're on

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Speaker 1: them girls dead. But at thirteen, the girls ain't really

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Speaker 1: clicked in yet. He filthy, and he ain't got no

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Speaker 1: problem being filthy. Their funk is only bothering you. It's

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Speaker 1: on your nerves that he won't just get up in

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Speaker 1: there and gonna take a shower. My mama had to

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Speaker 1: almost beat me to get me to go in there

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Speaker 1: and take a bath. Man, I was a boy in

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Speaker 1: every sense of the word. I reveled in the dirt. Man,

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Speaker 1: the more dirt, the cooler I was. Man. I had

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Speaker 1: dirt in my pockets. I bought dirt inside in my

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Speaker 1: pocket to play within my room with dirt. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: we didn't have no video games back then. You had

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Speaker 1: to go outside to have a good time. When I

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Speaker 1: was a kid, that was no video games, no computers,

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Speaker 1: no inn and that couldn't email on nobody. I couldn't

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Speaker 1: even talk on my damn phone. Your phone is for

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Speaker 1: me and your dad, Case's job call. So what was

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Speaker 1: I doing? I was outside playing in the dirt. All right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: we gotta get out of here. Email us or instagram

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Speaker 1: 's your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter at my girls,

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Speaker 1: Shirley and don't forget to Please join me this coming

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Speaker 1: Thursday at one thirty pm Eastern Time for the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter Live after show on Facebook. Okay, you're listening to

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Speaker 1: the Steve Harvey Morning Show