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Speaker 1: Let us thank you, nephew. Subject they hate when I
Speaker 1: bring the pastor. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a fifty three
Speaker 1: year old married woman and my husband is fifty seven
Speaker 1: years old. We have three children that live close to us,
Speaker 1: but they don't visit us like they used to. My
Speaker 1: husband became a pastor in his forties, but he was
Speaker 1: still working full time, so he never got to minister
Speaker 1: at our church. That all changed last summer and now
Speaker 1: it's very difficult to hang out with him. He thinks
Speaker 1: he's perfect and he loves to point out everyone else's imperfections.
Speaker 1: But the man that I married was very different. He
Speaker 1: was a fast food manager. He smoked weed and cigarettes,
Speaker 1: and he drank Hennessey. We met at a public pool,
Speaker 1: and that same day weucked everybody out of the women's
Speaker 1: bathroom and had sex for hours. Our friends know that
Speaker 1: my husband used to be a thug, so they are
Speaker 1: not fooled by his holy act. They have known my
Speaker 1: husband all of his life and used to buy weed
Speaker 1: from him. Now they hate when I bring the pastor
Speaker 1: around to hang out. He doesn't drink alcohol anymore, and
Speaker 1: he doesn't listen to secular music. His whole conversation is
Speaker 1: about salvation, and our friends avoid him. I do feel
Speaker 1: bad when I see him sitting alone at parties, but
Speaker 1: I don't want to be around him either. He is
Speaker 1: a great man, but he needs to loosen up and
Speaker 1: stop acting like he's never done any wrong. I had
Speaker 1: to talk with him about judging others and running our
Speaker 1: friends away, and he said that all he needs to
Speaker 1: be happy is me and the kids. Me and the
Speaker 1: kids need a break from him. How do I get
Speaker 1: him to understand that he's running off all of our friends. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm sure he understands that when you tell him that.
Speaker 1: But you do know that you're supposed to change when
Speaker 1: you give your life over to the Lord, right, and
Speaker 1: you become a pastor. You do know that the things
Speaker 1: you used to do, in his case, selling weed and
Speaker 1: the thug life and all that, he should leave that behind.
Speaker 1: He's a pastor now, and yes, his very presence will
Speaker 1: make other people uncomfortable in the room, but no one
Speaker 1: is perfect and he should try to live a life
Speaker 1: based on what Jesus would do. Does that mean he
Speaker 1: should be judging people and pointing out their flaws and imperfections.
Speaker 1: It does not mean that, but it does mean your
Speaker 1: husband is on a different path now. And while he
Speaker 1: should tell people about the good news and how it's
Speaker 1: changed his life, he doesn't have to cram it down
Speaker 1: other people's throats every time he sees them and make them,
Speaker 1: you know, leave the room and stuff. There's a time
Speaker 1: and place for everything. People will understand him more when
Speaker 1: they see example of how you know this change being
Speaker 1: a Christian has changed him for the better. You, as
Speaker 1: his wife, should support him, not get mad at him.
Speaker 1: So I say, talk to him about his new life,
Speaker 1: about his new self, because you guys need to figure
Speaker 1: out how this change is affecting your marriage moving forward,
Speaker 1: and it is affecting your marriage because it's clear that
Speaker 1: you don't like the new him, Steve.
Speaker 3: Everything Shirley said is true. I'll be coming to past
Speaker 3: and giving your life to Christ, changing your life all that.
Speaker 3: I don't want to go over there. So because she
Speaker 3: did that fight as good as you could do it.
Speaker 3: Everything she said is correct. But here the problem though
Speaker 3: we knew you when, and that's the problem he got.
Speaker 3: You can't keep going to the swim pool and don't swim.
Speaker 3: You can't keep going to the swim pool. Don't get
Speaker 3: in the water. Now I'm going a different angle. So
Speaker 3: very good answer, Shirley, very good. All of it was correct.
Speaker 3: You were fifty three year old married and you weren't
Speaker 3: to your husband. It's fifty seven. You know, we got
Speaker 3: three kids. They don't come by no more. They didn't
Speaker 3: tied to you in your hoods. He became a pastor
Speaker 3: in his forties, but since he worked full time, he
Speaker 3: never got to minister at our church. That ain't the
Speaker 3: only reason. A lot of people pastors work full time
Speaker 3: minister at their church. So that ain't the reason he
Speaker 3: ain't minished in at the church. He probably can't preach, that's.
Speaker 2: Probably the key.
Speaker 3: Probably that's when church deacon board didn't hurt him stand
Speaker 3: up and doing a couple of announcements, and they're just
Speaker 3: not finna give him forty minutes at the mic to
Speaker 3: deliver the word. Everybody saved can't be a preacher, see
Speaker 3: it ain't nobody want surely ain't gonna say that in
Speaker 3: the letter. But I'm here for you. Everybody saved ain't called.
Speaker 3: Some people say they passed us and they got called
Speaker 3: by who who called you? All these calls ain't from
Speaker 3: the Lord. I can tell you that right now. I
Speaker 3: got the call to go pursue my career and I
Speaker 3: had a family. That call wasn't directed just like that.
Speaker 3: But that's what I thought I heard when I answered,
Speaker 3: And guess what, it wasn't the way I should have
Speaker 3: did it. Everybody called ain't called by God. Now changed
Speaker 3: last summer, and it's difficult to hang out with him
Speaker 3: because he think you perfect, and he loved to point
Speaker 3: out everybody else's perfections.
Speaker 2: Well that ain't.
Speaker 3: Your job as a pastor is to draw people, not
Speaker 3: to run people off. That's why he ain't ministering at
Speaker 3: the church because he got it wrong. You say, but
Speaker 3: the man you married was very different. He was a
Speaker 3: fast food manager. He smoked weed and cigarettes, and he
Speaker 3: drank hennessy. Y'all met at a public pool, and that
Speaker 3: same day we locked everybody out of the women's bathroom
Speaker 3: and had sex for hours.
Speaker 2: That's not true.
Speaker 3: Hours in the women's bathroom at the public restroom at
Speaker 3: the swimming pool. Where was y'all at for hours? It's
Speaker 3: a sinking Now, it's a toilet in there. Where was
Speaker 3: y'all at for all these hours? Ain't nothing in that comfortable?
Speaker 2: You thought it was ours?
Speaker 3: Y'all was in there about maybe four hours, but not
Speaker 3: for hours.
Speaker 2: So it ain't.
Speaker 3: Nobody knocked on that door, came in, Hey, what's going
Speaker 3: on in Now?
Speaker 2: I got to pee? Ain't nobody said?
Speaker 3: Our friends know that my husband used to be a thug,
Speaker 3: so they ain't.
Speaker 2: Fooled by his holy act. And now I see right there.
Speaker 3: If you really are saved, then it shouldn't be thought
Speaker 3: of as an act.
Speaker 2: We'll get into that when we come back.
Speaker 1: Hang on, Steve. We'll have part two of your response
Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's
Speaker 1: Strawberry letters subject they hate when I bring the pastor
Speaker 1: we'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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Speaker 1: All right, Come on, Steve, Let's recap today's Strubberry letter.
Speaker 1: The subject is they hate when I bring the pastor.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the past is your husband fifty seven?
Speaker 2: You fifty three? Y'all met? Uh? You know while gold.
Speaker 3: You know your husband became a pastor in his forties,
Speaker 3: but he was still working full time, so he never
Speaker 3: got to minister at our church. The reason he didn't
Speaker 3: minister at your church is because he can't preach. I'm
Speaker 3: just gonna go on and say that to you, because
Speaker 3: over the years there's been plenty many times pastor couldn't
Speaker 3: make it and they bought in a guest pastor because
Speaker 3: your husband can't preach. And how you just become a
Speaker 3: pastor just because you got saved. I got saved, No
Speaker 3: good will. I don't need to be the pastor because
Speaker 3: it's just certain things I don't do that's pastorial. Like
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna visit the sickest shut in.
Speaker 3: You shut in for a reason, so with what is
Speaker 3: I'm down here for? And Lord, no, I'm not finna
Speaker 3: catch what it is you've got, So I'm not gonna
Speaker 3: be visited on the sickest shut in. Don't call me
Speaker 3: in the middle of the night for prayer.
Speaker 2: And pray.
Speaker 3: Then in the morning let me know if the prayer
Speaker 3: got answered, then I'll pray with you and that love offer.
Speaker 3: It's gonna have to be a designated salary. I'm not
Speaker 3: gonna be sitting up in here waiting to see what
Speaker 3: y'all gonna put in this box.
Speaker 2: I need a designated salary.
Speaker 3: And seeing this how that I've been in the business,
Speaker 3: I've been in for a long time, I'm gonna need
Speaker 3: a dollar y'all got coming up through that. So see
Speaker 3: number one reason why I'm not a pastor. Your husband
Speaker 3: ain't a passer and never been a pass at the
Speaker 3: church because he can't pridge. He was a fast food manager,
Speaker 3: smoke weed, sole cigarettes. I mean he has drank cigarettes
Speaker 3: and drank Henderson, smoked cigarettes, drank Henson. Y'all met her
Speaker 3: at a public pooling on that same day. Y'all locked
Speaker 3: the bathroom door to the women's that had sex for hours. Okay,
Speaker 3: great lady, don't know what this information for right here.
Speaker 3: Our friends know that my husband used to be a thug,
Speaker 3: so they are not fooled by his holy act. Is
Speaker 3: it an act? Is it really an act? Because either
Speaker 3: he saved or he not his holy act. They have
Speaker 3: known my husband all his life and hear the big
Speaker 3: one for me used to buy weed from him. Oh
Speaker 3: he ain't just smoke me. He was the plug dope boy.
Speaker 2: Nino. Yeah, Nino Brown got a church.
Speaker 3: Nowa yeah jack pot joint of Jerusalem yourself. Now, they
Speaker 3: hate him when I bring the pastor around to hang out.
Speaker 3: He don't drink alcohol anymore. Okay, that's a good thing.
Speaker 3: He don't listen to secular music, now that that's hard though,
Speaker 3: No secular music, so you know what is he listening
Speaker 3: to at the party. His whole conversation is about salvation,
Speaker 3: and our friends hate avoid it. I feel bad when
Speaker 3: I'm seeing him sitting alone at the party. Ww's the
Speaker 3: pastor at the party. See, you can't go to the
Speaker 3: pool and not swim. He you hate when he sit
Speaker 3: alone at the party. Why is he at the party?
Speaker 3: He know he the party pooper. He don't listen to
Speaker 3: secular music. Louth on one twelve knocking the boots. He
Speaker 3: over there humming at the cross And how does work
Speaker 3: knocking the boots?
Speaker 5: Pull up to the bumper, baby, you know, yeah, I'll
Speaker 5: killing on everybody.
Speaker 3: He just over there just humming church Son his whole
Speaker 3: conversation about salvation. They'll feel bad when he's sitting alone
Speaker 3: at the party. But I don't want to be around
Speaker 3: Tom either. He's a great man, but he needs to
Speaker 3: loosen up and stop acting like he's never.
Speaker 2: Done anything wrong.
Speaker 3: See, if you go witness, then witness to people with
Speaker 3: how you work. There's a pastor I'm not gonna mention
Speaker 3: his name who's online all the time, and all he
Speaker 3: do is talk about other people. All he do is
Speaker 3: talk about other people. He picked celebrities out. I done
Speaker 3: been in his mouth beyond Saint Ricky Smiley. You just
Speaker 3: talk about people, don't never heard him mention anything about
Speaker 3: what he did wrong, what God saved him from.
Speaker 2: Nobody want to hear that.
Speaker 3: Man, tell us what you've been through, because if you
Speaker 3: get saved, you got to get saved from something. I
Speaker 3: had to talk with him about judging others and running
Speaker 3: our friends away, and he said, all he needs to
Speaker 3: be happy is me and the kids. Well, me and
Speaker 3: the kids need a break from him. How do I
Speaker 3: get him to understand that he's running off all of
Speaker 3: our friends. Well, hell, that's easy. You run off see.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you got to get people's attention. But see
Speaker 3: that's that new saved person though. Oh they be extra
Speaker 3: exuble when they first find the Lord. Oh they be
Speaker 3: extra I got a partner that's a pastor right now,
Speaker 3: and I didn't know he was a pastor until about
Speaker 3: maybe twelve years ago. I ran up into him somewhere.
Speaker 2: Went to college.
Speaker 3: He'll pass and the whole time he talking to me,
Speaker 3: I remember him from college. That's the person I remember.
Speaker 3: I was getting acquainted with the new pastor. Now i've
Speaker 3: known him. Now we've been.
Speaker 2: Together for about twelve years and we hang out a lot.
Speaker 3: I'm still working through a couple of things I've heard
Speaker 3: him say.
Speaker 1: Boaster comments, So I get it on Today's Strawberry Letter
Speaker 1: and he's so we.
Speaker 2: And he's so we.
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