WEBVTT - They Hate When I Bring The Pastor - 8.6.26

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<v Speaker 1>It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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<v Speaker 1>read this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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<v Speaker 1>it could be yours.

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<v Speaker 2>It could be old Buckle up and hold on time.

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<v Speaker 2>We got it for you here it is strownberry.

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<v Speaker 1>Let us thank you, nephew. Subject they hate when I

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<v Speaker 1>bring the pastor. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a fifty three

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<v Speaker 1>year old married woman and my husband is fifty seven

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<v Speaker 1>years old. We have three children that live close to us,

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<v Speaker 1>but they don't visit us like they used to. My

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<v Speaker 1>husband became a pastor in his forties, but he was

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<v Speaker 1>still working full time, so he never got to minister

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<v Speaker 1>at our church. That all changed last summer and now

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<v Speaker 1>it's very difficult to hang out with him. He thinks

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<v Speaker 1>he's perfect and he loves to point out everyone else's imperfections.

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<v Speaker 1>But the man that I married was very different. He

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<v Speaker 1>was a fast food manager. He smoked weed and cigarettes,

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<v Speaker 1>and he drank Hennessey. We met at a public pool,

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<v Speaker 1>and that same day weucked everybody out of the women's

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<v Speaker 1>bathroom and had sex for hours. Our friends know that

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<v Speaker 1>my husband used to be a thug, so they are

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<v Speaker 1>not fooled by his holy act. They have known my

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<v Speaker 1>husband all of his life and used to buy weed

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<v Speaker 1>from him. Now they hate when I bring the pastor

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<v Speaker 1>around to hang out. He doesn't drink alcohol anymore, and

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<v Speaker 1>he doesn't listen to secular music. His whole conversation is

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<v Speaker 1>about salvation, and our friends avoid him. I do feel

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<v Speaker 1>bad when I see him sitting alone at parties, but

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be around him either. He is

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<v Speaker 1>a great man, but he needs to loosen up and

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<v Speaker 1>stop acting like he's never done any wrong. I had

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<v Speaker 1>to talk with him about judging others and running our

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<v Speaker 1>friends away, and he said that all he needs to

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<v Speaker 1>be happy is me and the kids. Me and the

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<v Speaker 1>kids need a break from him. How do I get

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<v Speaker 1>him to understand that he's running off all of our friends. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure he understands that when you tell him that.

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<v Speaker 1>But you do know that you're supposed to change when

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<v Speaker 1>you give your life over to the Lord, right, and

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<v Speaker 1>you become a pastor. You do know that the things

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<v Speaker 1>you used to do, in his case, selling weed and

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<v Speaker 1>the thug life and all that, he should leave that behind.

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<v Speaker 1>He's a pastor now, and yes, his very presence will

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<v Speaker 1>make other people uncomfortable in the room, but no one

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<v Speaker 1>is perfect and he should try to live a life

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<v Speaker 1>based on what Jesus would do. Does that mean he

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<v Speaker 1>should be judging people and pointing out their flaws and imperfections.

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<v Speaker 1>It does not mean that, but it does mean your

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<v Speaker 1>husband is on a different path now. And while he

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<v Speaker 1>should tell people about the good news and how it's

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<v Speaker 1>changed his life, he doesn't have to cram it down

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<v Speaker 1>other people's throats every time he sees them and make them,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, leave the room and stuff. There's a time

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<v Speaker 1>and place for everything. People will understand him more when

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<v Speaker 1>they see example of how you know this change being

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<v Speaker 1>a Christian has changed him for the better. You, as

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<v Speaker 1>his wife, should support him, not get mad at him.

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<v Speaker 1>So I say, talk to him about his new life,

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<v Speaker 1>about his new self, because you guys need to figure

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<v Speaker 1>out how this change is affecting your marriage moving forward,

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<v Speaker 1>and it is affecting your marriage because it's clear that

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<v Speaker 1>you don't like the new him, Steve.

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<v Speaker 3>Everything Shirley said is true. I'll be coming to past

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<v Speaker 3>and giving your life to Christ, changing your life all that.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't want to go over there. So because she

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<v Speaker 3>did that fight as good as you could do it.

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<v Speaker 3>Everything she said is correct. But here the problem though

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<v Speaker 3>we knew you when, and that's the problem he got.

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<v Speaker 3>You can't keep going to the swim pool and don't swim.

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<v Speaker 3>You can't keep going to the swim pool. Don't get

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<v Speaker 3>in the water. Now I'm going a different angle. So

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<v Speaker 3>very good answer, Shirley, very good. All of it was correct.

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<v Speaker 3>You were fifty three year old married and you weren't

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<v Speaker 3>to your husband. It's fifty seven. You know, we got

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<v Speaker 3>three kids. They don't come by no more. They didn't

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<v Speaker 3>tied to you in your hoods. He became a pastor

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<v Speaker 3>in his forties, but since he worked full time, he

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<v Speaker 3>never got to minister at our church. That ain't the

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<v Speaker 3>only reason. A lot of people pastors work full time

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<v Speaker 3>minister at their church. So that ain't the reason he

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<v Speaker 3>ain't minished in at the church. He probably can't preach, that's.

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<v Speaker 2>Probably the key.

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<v Speaker 3>Probably that's when church deacon board didn't hurt him stand

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<v Speaker 3>up and doing a couple of announcements, and they're just

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<v Speaker 3>not finna give him forty minutes at the mic to

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<v Speaker 3>deliver the word. Everybody saved can't be a preacher, see

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<v Speaker 3>it ain't nobody want surely ain't gonna say that in

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<v Speaker 3>the letter. But I'm here for you. Everybody saved ain't called.

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<v Speaker 3>Some people say they passed us and they got called

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<v Speaker 3>by who who called you? All these calls ain't from

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<v Speaker 3>the Lord. I can tell you that right now. I

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<v Speaker 3>got the call to go pursue my career and I

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<v Speaker 3>had a family. That call wasn't directed just like that.

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<v Speaker 3>But that's what I thought I heard when I answered,

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<v Speaker 3>And guess what, it wasn't the way I should have

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<v Speaker 3>did it. Everybody called ain't called by God. Now changed

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<v Speaker 3>last summer, and it's difficult to hang out with him

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<v Speaker 3>because he think you perfect, and he loved to point

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<v Speaker 3>out everybody else's perfections.

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<v Speaker 2>Well that ain't.

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<v Speaker 3>Your job as a pastor is to draw people, not

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<v Speaker 3>to run people off. That's why he ain't ministering at

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<v Speaker 3>the church because he got it wrong. You say, but

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<v Speaker 3>the man you married was very different. He was a

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<v Speaker 3>fast food manager. He smoked weed and cigarettes, and he

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<v Speaker 3>drank hennessy. Y'all met at a public pool, and that

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<v Speaker 3>same day we locked everybody out of the women's bathroom

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<v Speaker 3>and had sex for hours.

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<v Speaker 2>That's not true.

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<v Speaker 3>Hours in the women's bathroom at the public restroom at

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<v Speaker 3>the swimming pool. Where was y'all at for hours? It's

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<v Speaker 3>a sinking Now, it's a toilet in there. Where was

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<v Speaker 3>y'all at for all these hours? Ain't nothing in that comfortable?

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<v Speaker 2>You thought it was ours?

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<v Speaker 3>Y'all was in there about maybe four hours, but not

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<v Speaker 3>for hours.

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<v Speaker 2>So it ain't.

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<v Speaker 3>Nobody knocked on that door, came in, Hey, what's going

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<v Speaker 3>on in Now?

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<v Speaker 2>I got to pee? Ain't nobody said?

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<v Speaker 3>Our friends know that my husband used to be a thug,

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<v Speaker 3>so they ain't.

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<v Speaker 2>Fooled by his holy act. And now I see right there.

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<v Speaker 3>If you really are saved, then it shouldn't be thought

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<v Speaker 3>of as an act.

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<v Speaker 2>We'll get into that when we come back.

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<v Speaker 1>Hang on, Steve. We'll have part two of your response

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<v Speaker 1>coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>Strawberry letters subject they hate when I bring the pastor

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<v Speaker 1>we'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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<v Speaker 1>Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, Come on, Steve, Let's recap today's Strubberry letter.

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<v Speaker 1>The subject is they hate when I bring the pastor.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, the past is your husband fifty seven?

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<v Speaker 2>You fifty three? Y'all met? Uh? You know while gold.

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<v Speaker 3>You know your husband became a pastor in his forties,

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<v Speaker 3>but he was still working full time, so he never

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<v Speaker 3>got to minister at our church. The reason he didn't

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<v Speaker 3>minister at your church is because he can't preach. I'm

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<v Speaker 3>just gonna go on and say that to you, because

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<v Speaker 3>over the years there's been plenty many times pastor couldn't

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<v Speaker 3>make it and they bought in a guest pastor because

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<v Speaker 3>your husband can't preach. And how you just become a

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<v Speaker 3>pastor just because you got saved. I got saved, No

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<v Speaker 3>good will. I don't need to be the pastor because

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<v Speaker 3>it's just certain things I don't do that's pastorial. Like

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not gonna I'm not gonna visit the sickest shut in.

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<v Speaker 3>You shut in for a reason, so with what is

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<v Speaker 3>I'm down here for? And Lord, no, I'm not finna

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<v Speaker 3>catch what it is you've got, So I'm not gonna

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<v Speaker 3>be visited on the sickest shut in. Don't call me

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<v Speaker 3>in the middle of the night for prayer.

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<v Speaker 2>And pray.

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<v Speaker 3>Then in the morning let me know if the prayer

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<v Speaker 3>got answered, then I'll pray with you and that love offer.

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<v Speaker 3>It's gonna have to be a designated salary. I'm not

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<v Speaker 3>gonna be sitting up in here waiting to see what

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<v Speaker 3>y'all gonna put in this box.

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<v Speaker 2>I need a designated salary.

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<v Speaker 3>And seeing this how that I've been in the business,

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<v Speaker 3>I've been in for a long time, I'm gonna need

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<v Speaker 3>a dollar y'all got coming up through that. So see

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<v Speaker 3>number one reason why I'm not a pastor. Your husband

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<v Speaker 3>ain't a passer and never been a pass at the

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<v Speaker 3>church because he can't pridge. He was a fast food manager,

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<v Speaker 3>smoke weed, sole cigarettes. I mean he has drank cigarettes

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<v Speaker 3>and drank Henderson, smoked cigarettes, drank Henson. Y'all met her

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<v Speaker 3>at a public pooling on that same day. Y'all locked

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<v Speaker 3>the bathroom door to the women's that had sex for hours. Okay,

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<v Speaker 3>great lady, don't know what this information for right here.

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<v Speaker 3>Our friends know that my husband used to be a thug,

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<v Speaker 3>so they are not fooled by his holy act. Is

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<v Speaker 3>it an act? Is it really an act? Because either

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<v Speaker 3>he saved or he not his holy act. They have

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<v Speaker 3>known my husband all his life and hear the big

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<v Speaker 3>one for me used to buy weed from him. Oh

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<v Speaker 3>he ain't just smoke me. He was the plug dope boy.

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<v Speaker 2>Nino. Yeah, Nino Brown got a church.

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<v Speaker 3>Nowa yeah jack pot joint of Jerusalem yourself. Now, they

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<v Speaker 3>hate him when I bring the pastor around to hang out.

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<v Speaker 3>He don't drink alcohol anymore. Okay, that's a good thing.

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<v Speaker 3>He don't listen to secular music, now that that's hard though,

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<v Speaker 3>No secular music, so you know what is he listening

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<v Speaker 3>to at the party. His whole conversation is about salvation,

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<v Speaker 3>and our friends hate avoid it. I feel bad when

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<v Speaker 3>I'm seeing him sitting alone at the party. Ww's the

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<v Speaker 3>pastor at the party. See, you can't go to the

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<v Speaker 3>pool and not swim. He you hate when he sit

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<v Speaker 3>alone at the party. Why is he at the party?

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<v Speaker 3>He know he the party pooper. He don't listen to

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<v Speaker 3>secular music. Louth on one twelve knocking the boots. He

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<v Speaker 3>over there humming at the cross And how does work

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<v Speaker 3>knocking the boots?

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<v Speaker 5>Pull up to the bumper, baby, you know, yeah, I'll

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<v Speaker 5>killing on everybody.

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<v Speaker 3>He just over there just humming church Son his whole

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<v Speaker 3>conversation about salvation. They'll feel bad when he's sitting alone

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<v Speaker 3>at the party. But I don't want to be around

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<v Speaker 3>Tom either. He's a great man, but he needs to

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<v Speaker 3>loosen up and stop acting like he's never.

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<v Speaker 2>Done anything wrong.

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<v Speaker 3>See, if you go witness, then witness to people with

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<v Speaker 3>how you work. There's a pastor I'm not gonna mention

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<v Speaker 3>his name who's online all the time, and all he

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<v Speaker 3>do is talk about other people. All he do is

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<v Speaker 3>talk about other people. He picked celebrities out. I done

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<v Speaker 3>been in his mouth beyond Saint Ricky Smiley. You just

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<v Speaker 3>talk about people, don't never heard him mention anything about

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<v Speaker 3>what he did wrong, what God saved him from.

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<v Speaker 2>Nobody want to hear that.

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<v Speaker 3>Man, tell us what you've been through, because if you

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<v Speaker 3>get saved, you got to get saved from something. I

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<v Speaker 3>had to talk with him about judging others and running

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<v Speaker 3>our friends away, and he said, all he needs to

0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:25.640
<v Speaker 3>be happy is me and the kids. Well, me and

0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:28.120
<v Speaker 3>the kids need a break from him. How do I

0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:30.800
<v Speaker 3>get him to understand that he's running off all of

0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:35.199
<v Speaker 3>our friends. Well, hell, that's easy. You run off see.

0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:41.920
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, you got to get people's attention. But see

0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:45.319
<v Speaker 3>that's that new saved person though. Oh they be extra

0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:48.280
<v Speaker 3>exuble when they first find the Lord. Oh they be

0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:52.720
<v Speaker 3>extra I got a partner that's a pastor right now,

0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:55.480
<v Speaker 3>and I didn't know he was a pastor until about

0:12:57.240 --> 0:12:59.480
<v Speaker 3>maybe twelve years ago. I ran up into him somewhere.

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<v Speaker 2>Went to college.

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<v Speaker 3>He'll pass and the whole time he talking to me,

0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:09.200
<v Speaker 3>I remember him from college. That's the person I remember.

0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:15.480
<v Speaker 3>I was getting acquainted with the new pastor. Now i've

0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:16.640
<v Speaker 3>known him. Now we've been.

0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:18.560
<v Speaker 2>Together for about twelve years and we hang out a lot.

0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:21.360
<v Speaker 3>I'm still working through a couple of things I've heard

0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:22.840
<v Speaker 3>him say.

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<v Speaker 1>Boaster comments, So I get it on Today's Strawberry Letter

0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:30.719
<v Speaker 1>and he's so we.

0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:32.240
<v Speaker 2>And he's so we.

0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:37.920
<v Speaker 1>On Instagram and Facebook. All right, check out check out

0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:41.440
<v Speaker 1>the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Free

0:13:41.440 --> 0:13:44.439
<v Speaker 1>Never Sounded So good. You can download it today now.

0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:46.800
<v Speaker 1>Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, we

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<v Speaker 1>got Junior and sports talk. Right after this, you're

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<v Speaker 2>Listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show