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Speaker 1: Hell, I invited you here. I thought I made myself

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Speaker 1: perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you

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Speaker 1: gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests,

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Speaker 1: you're presences, presents, and I already had too much stuff,

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Speaker 1: So how do you dare to surbey me?

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Speaker 2: Welcome to? I said no gifts. I'm Richard Wineger, I'm

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Speaker 2: I'm glad you're here. I'm going to be honest. I've

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Speaker 2: done a terrible job managing my time today, so that's

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Speaker 2: led into, you know, me not managing other things correctly,

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Speaker 2: and my life is just spinning out of control.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: So hopefully the next hour or so we can veer

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Speaker 2: back into the whatever lane you would want to be

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Speaker 2: in that feels correct, that will lead my life not

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Speaker 2: to total destruction. Yeah, I feel like you can even

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Speaker 2: even sense right now that I am spiraling. So let's

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Speaker 2: just get into the podcast episode. Because our guest today,

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Speaker 2: everybody loves him. If you don't love him, I don't

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Speaker 2: know what to tell you. It's Kurt Brown Oler Kurt.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to. I said no gifts.

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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: I'm just going to say, right off the top, I

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Speaker 2: noticed you got a haircut.

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Speaker 3: I did. I just got a haircut two days ago.

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Speaker 2: It looks so sharp.

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Speaker 3: Oh, thank you, it's it's it's sometimes I think the

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Speaker 3: first couple of days after you get a haircut. I

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Speaker 3: don't know if it's part of your aura has been

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Speaker 3: destroyed or something. I don't believe it in aura, but

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Speaker 3: it does feel like you have to reacclimate yourself to

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Speaker 3: your sense of self.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 3: So, I don't know who this guy is yet. He

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Speaker 3: might be a wild card. How long was it prior

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Speaker 3: to the haircut? It wasn't that much longer. It was

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Speaker 3: just the sides. We're just like ruffy and scruffy. My

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Speaker 3: wife has been cutting it in our for the past

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Speaker 3: year and two months in our driveway, and I just

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Speaker 3: went to back to my person's home and she did

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Speaker 3: it for the first time.

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Speaker 2: Well that's wonderful. So has your wife done a decent

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Speaker 2: job with your haircut?

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Speaker 3: Surprisingly? Yes, But it was like she was like following

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Speaker 3: what I'm just I'm gonna shout her out. Amy Gamble,

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Speaker 3: Amy Gimble, Gamble. It's either gimble or Gamble. It's She's amazing.

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Speaker 3: If you're in the Los Angeles area, I highly recommend

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Speaker 3: her to cut your hair. She was just following like

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Speaker 3: what Amy had done. And I think after a year

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Speaker 3: and two months the roadmap had been destroyed, so we

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Speaker 3: were getting into some weird cuts.

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Speaker 2: At the end there was she just using like a

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Speaker 2: like an electric razor. What was the deal?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just like like a buzzer, you know, right plug in.

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Speaker 3: I's the one I used to use to shave the dog. Honestly,

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Speaker 3: no scissors. The tippy top would get some scissors, but

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Speaker 3: all it was mostly just shaving around the sides, you know.

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Speaker 3: And this is also a question for you, Bridger. Is

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Speaker 3: this the first time that I said no gifts? Is

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Speaker 3: double ginger?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I think it is. Look at that

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Speaker 2: the red hair on this podcast currently is out of control.

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Speaker 2: It'll probably be banned from the internet. People this.

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Speaker 3: Nobody wants to hear two redheads talk. Also, but I'm

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Speaker 3: slowly going blond. I grew up with very bright red hair,

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Speaker 3: and now it's most people think I'm blonde, which is

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Speaker 3: a very sad thing. I think your facial hair is

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Speaker 3: a giveaway, thank you, thank you. Also it's a little

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Speaker 3: gray to give away that I'm old as well.

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Speaker 2: You're just exposing yourself in all of these different ways.

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Speaker 2: I feel like my red hair is slowly turning getting browner.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know that it'll ever be like

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Speaker 2: a brown, but it's definitely not quite as like fiery

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Speaker 2: as it used to be.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just entropy. It is just our bodies wasting.

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Speaker 2: Marching towards the grave.

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Speaker 3: Just a nice reminder.

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Speaker 2: Now, let me ask you. You know there have been

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Speaker 2: reports about gingers, like having more sensitivity to pain, that

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Speaker 2: kind of thingthing. Is that something you've noticed about yourself?

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's so difficult, isn't it, Because you've never

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Speaker 3: been someone else, right, so you can never I've never

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Speaker 3: had access to how much pain another person feels, So

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I mean, like, I don't know if

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Speaker 3: people have been like, yeah, that doesn't that shouldn't hurt,

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Speaker 3: and it does. I think probably I am more sensitive.

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Speaker 3: Like when I go to the dentist, it's awful. I

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Speaker 3: hate it. You know, It's like I'm always clenched like

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Speaker 3: the whole time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was at the dentist recently and the actual

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Speaker 2: dental work wasn't painful. But the weird little camera they

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Speaker 2: stick in your face to X ray you is just

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Speaker 2: hard plastic. That's just grinding into the roof of your mouth,

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Speaker 2: and the woman's like, you're really making a face. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I'm gagging and this is digging into my gums. What

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Speaker 2: I don't know, but yeah, sensitivity I was at. I

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Speaker 2: mean now, I'm just talking about various medical appointments, but

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Speaker 2: recently I was a dermatologist getting a mole removed, and

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Speaker 2: prior to the shot, she asked, are you a natural redhead?

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Speaker 2: Which I just thought was a weird question to begin with.

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Speaker 2: I was like, no, I'm shit black hair.

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Speaker 3: And I've dyed my eyebrows and given myself all these

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Speaker 3: freckles just for authenticity.

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Speaker 2: I'm not a natural redhead. I'm just out of my mind.

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Speaker 3: I am a deep, deep louted dick.

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Speaker 2: Oh well, how was your first haircut back? Did it

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Speaker 2: feel strange or was it just back in the saddle

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Speaker 2: sort of situation?

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Speaker 3: It was just back into it. Everything I've done since

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Speaker 3: I've gotten my double vax has been I just feel

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Speaker 3: like I'm back in it, like immediately it's normal again.

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Speaker 3: There has not been for me, at least a slow

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Speaker 3: ramp up. It's just like we're doing this again.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'm now realizing slowly that I'm very

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Speaker 2: much the same way. But I keep saying to people,

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Speaker 2: this feels so weird, and it doesn't. I feel like

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Speaker 2: I just that's the thing you're supposed to be saying

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Speaker 2: right now, right, Yeah, I'm like, no, I'm just going

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Speaker 2: back to the store. I'm getting a dental appointment. It

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Speaker 2: feels it's been one year. It hasn't been fifty years.

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Speaker 2: I mean, maybe going inside other people's houses is slightly odd,

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Speaker 2: but it's not that weird to me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think I've been inside anyone else's house yet,

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Speaker 3: but I did. Here's one thing that I did think

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Speaker 3: was weird, and it was surprising to me, is that

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Speaker 3: I saw someone I knew on the street, another comic,

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Speaker 3: and we were so excited to see each other that

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Speaker 3: we then stopped and then just chatted for so long.

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Speaker 3: And I know, pre pandemic, it would have been more

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Speaker 3: of like a hey, how you doing, good to see you, okay, bye,

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Speaker 3: And this was a stop, cross the street, hug in

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Speaker 3: the middle of the street, come back talk for fifteen

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Speaker 3: four minutes about our lives. So like that was definitely

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Speaker 3: was like, oh, that's a little different, and that will fade,

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Speaker 3: I'm sure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that feeling of seeing another person is still kind

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Speaker 2: of overwhelming to me. I mean having people over to

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Speaker 2: the backyard or whatever is always a little like we

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Speaker 2: just have so much to share. I mean, despite it

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Speaker 2: being almost non information, it's just like seeing another person,

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Speaker 2: having that need to talk is always there's just not

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Speaker 2: enough good dirt. I feel like there's not you know,

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Speaker 2: in normal times, there's gossip to be had, there's people

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Speaker 2: are out doing things and you can talk for hours

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Speaker 2: about that alone. This no, everyone's just been in their

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Speaker 2: house or whatever. We're watching various TV shows and movies.

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Speaker 3: It forces you to not say the word so what's

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Speaker 3: what's what's going on? Or how are you or what's

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Speaker 3: been going on? Like it forces you to have a

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Speaker 3: more creative question to spark after a lull, right, I

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Speaker 3: think you know totally. It has to really come out

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Speaker 3: a left field's childhood memory.

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Speaker 2: Go just various security password questions. Who's your favorite friend

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Speaker 2: growing up? I mean, what are you doing with your

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Speaker 2: time right now?

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Speaker 3: Right now? Let's see, I have been my wife has

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Speaker 3: been out of town a little mother's day present, early

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Speaker 3: Mother's Day present. So she went to like a fancy

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Speaker 3: hotel for two days and so I've just been in

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Speaker 3: the shit with two kids under the ages of four,

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Speaker 3: and so, yeah, we've just been hanging out having fun.

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Speaker 3: It's you know, fun, fun and awfulness are just a

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Speaker 3: constant teetering. It's just a razor's edge with two little children.

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Speaker 2: How old are your kids?

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Speaker 3: One and four?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so that's just kind of chaos and two

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Speaker 2: very different ways.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, my son. This morning, as I finally convinced

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Speaker 3: my daughter to like go to the bathroom. For some reason,

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Speaker 3: she just doesn't like to get out of her pajamas

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Speaker 3: in the morning. It's just like arguing and y and arny.

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Speaker 3: Finally she goes to do it. And then I hear boom,

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Speaker 3: and I hear like the door slam to our room,

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Speaker 3: and I'm start to run from her room. They're right

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Speaker 3: next door to each other. I start to run from

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Speaker 3: her room into our room. And by the time I

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Speaker 3: get the door open, he has doven fully into the toilet.

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Speaker 3: He gets, but he hasn't even gotten time to get

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Speaker 3: the toilet seat up all the way, so it's like

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Speaker 3: the toilet seats on his back. He's head first into

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Speaker 3: the toilet, splashing as hard as he can, and I'm

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Speaker 3: yell and he loves it. I yell. I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 3: I don't know how to signified not to do this

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Speaker 3: because he does it so often and we tell him

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Speaker 3: not to do it so often that I was I

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Speaker 3: yelled like no, no, and he just laughed. He's just

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Speaker 3: laughing at me. And it is like a true feeling

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Speaker 3: of like there, you do not control children in any way.

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Speaker 3: There is no control over children. There is like trying

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Speaker 3: to work with them and they're crazy. So it's constantly

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Speaker 3: like just trying to negotiate with a lunatic.

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Speaker 2: My niece is for and it's it is every moment

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Speaker 2: with her, it's just that negotiating and not wanting to

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Speaker 2: be an enemy. But just like it's that between baby

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Speaker 2: and being like a conscious adult thing where they can

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Speaker 2: start making decisions and it's a nightmare. She's wonderful, and

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Speaker 2: it's like, oh, you are just out to destroy anything

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Speaker 2: you can right now. It's wild.

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Speaker 3: Is very, very true. They're very they're very nehilistic at

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Speaker 3: this age.

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Speaker 2: Something I've wanted to ask you about for a long time.

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Speaker 2: I feel like this is something you used to talk

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Speaker 2: about on stage, but it was and I don't know

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Speaker 2: what level of truth it is or whatever. But what

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Speaker 2: age did you stop breastfeeding.

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Speaker 3: I stopped breastfeeding when I was like three and a half.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, so you were like late.

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Speaker 3: Yes, very very late. And I have a joke about

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Speaker 3: it where it was I thought it was five, and

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Speaker 3: so I've written a joke about it where it was five,

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Speaker 3: and then I played it for my mom when she

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Speaker 3: was still alive, and she was like, you weren't five.

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Speaker 3: You were three and a half. And I'm like, still

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Speaker 3: too old, still old enough to wear a full suit

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Speaker 3: and breastfeed at the same time. Like I have memories

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Speaker 3: of like breastfeeding watching Teep, watching Phil Donna here.

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Speaker 2: You know that's the only way to watch Dona. You Oh,

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Speaker 2: well that is pretty so, I mean you have memories

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Speaker 2: of that. I mean a lot of people don't, yess.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, no, I have memories of breastfeeding. I didn't

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Speaker 3: know it was weird un till I started telling people

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Speaker 3: about it. And then I also started smoking at age ten,

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Speaker 3: which is part of the joke. Which is the craziest thing,

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Speaker 3: which is like seven years after I finished breastfeeding, I

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Speaker 3: started smoking.

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Speaker 2: So that was one of my favorite facts about any

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Speaker 2: person how long did you smoke for I smoked?

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Speaker 3: I mean probably, I don't know. I mean, like I

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Speaker 3: still smoke every once in a while, maybe like twice

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Speaker 3: a year. I'll have a couple cigarettes and I can

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Speaker 3: do that, which I'm happy about now, but it used

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Speaker 3: to having like one cigarette. Wuld then just like set

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Speaker 3: me down to like I'm just smoking again. But like

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Speaker 3: on special occasions like my birthday and Father's Day, I'll

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Speaker 3: usually smoke a couple cigarettes. But I stopped like smoking smoking,

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Speaker 3: probably I don't know, forty two or so. Yeah, so

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Speaker 3: thirty two years, thirty three years.

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Speaker 2: So when you're a ten year old, who is getting

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Speaker 2: you the cigarettes? How does that even begin?

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Speaker 3: I'm so happy. We're going to get into the logistics too,

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Speaker 3: excitingly curious about this. So I grew up in Neptune,

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Speaker 3: New Jersey. It's in the middle central New Jersey. It's

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Speaker 3: like town away from the towns that are like on

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Speaker 3: the beach. And there was a place called the Cracker

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Speaker 3: Barrel in Sharcover.

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Speaker 2: Hills now, not the Cracker Barrel which is now.

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Speaker 3: Which always confused me from my entire childhood, not the

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Speaker 3: National chain. It was just called the Cracker Barrel. And

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Speaker 3: it was essentially a bodega on a corner. They all

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Speaker 3: knew they like the people worked there. We would go

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Speaker 3: there all the time, so they knew who I was.

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Speaker 3: They knew who my friend Francis was. Francis was two

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Speaker 3: years older than me, and so he had a buddy

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Speaker 3: who lived in Wall, which is by the way, in

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Speaker 3: Central Jersey. There's a town named Wall and it's right

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Speaker 3: next to a town named Brick and no one thinks

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Speaker 3: it's funny. No one thinks it's fun So so we

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Speaker 3: had him come over because they nobody knew that kid.

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Speaker 3: And at this time in New Jersey, anybody could buy cigarettes.

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Speaker 3: There was no age limit to buying cigarettes.

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Speaker 2: No way. I guess it could send the kids out

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Speaker 2: to buy you cigarettes exactly.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this was nineteen eighty six. There was no I

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Speaker 3: think the age limitation came in in like the nineties

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Speaker 3: or something. And so we sent him to get the

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Speaker 3: cigarettes and then he and then we waited at Francis's house,

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Speaker 3: which was around the corner. And then he called us

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Speaker 3: from the pay phone and we had like code words. Uh,

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Speaker 3: so we picked up the phone and he said, the

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Speaker 3: peeda bread is in the hole and then our response

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Speaker 3: was and the fox is on its way. And then

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Speaker 3: we like ran around the corner to these woods that

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Speaker 3: were like next door to the cracker barrel, and of

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Speaker 3: course we got new ports.

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Speaker 2: Oh beautiful, beautiful, because.

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Speaker 3: They were they are the can the cigarette that looks

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Speaker 3: most like candy that a ten or twelve year old

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Speaker 3: would want, all those beautiful green lines. And we smoked,

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Speaker 3: and we didn't inhale because we didn't understand, and then

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Speaker 3: we buried the cigarettes in the woods in a plastic bag.

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Speaker 3: And then we came back the next weekend and Francis

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Speaker 3: had been at the arcade in Belmar and he was like, guys,

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Speaker 3: I learned how to smoke. We're supposed to inhale. And

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Speaker 3: I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

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Speaker 3: That sounds awful and he's like, no, you do it.

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Speaker 3: I'll show you how. And I was like okay. He's like,

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Speaker 3: you take a little bit in your mouth and then

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Speaker 3: you inhale a lot of air with it, and I

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Speaker 3: was like, I don't know about this. And then we

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Speaker 3: did that, and then that's when we like first time

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Speaker 3: like actually got a nicotine buzz and I fell over

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Speaker 3: into the bushes and I was just staring at the sky,

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Speaker 3: and I remember seeing a helicopter fly by, thinking like,

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Speaker 3: that's my mom. She's gonna find out I was dead.

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Speaker 3: You know, I still had thoughts like that. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: we would, I mean like and we smoke. We would

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Speaker 3: smoke like one cigarette a week on a Saturday, would

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Speaker 3: run out to the woods, smoke one cigarette and then

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Speaker 3: like wash our hands and get mouth washed and stuff.

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Speaker 2: It feels like the upp At Babies version of The

300
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Speaker 2: Fellows or Casino or something. I love everything about this,

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Speaker 2: a beautiful story. I had started smoking at ten.

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Speaker 3: I mean honestly, I have, you know, fingers crossed. It

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Speaker 3: doesn't kill me. But I have so many just positive,

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Speaker 3: wonderful associations with cigarettes, I really really do.

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Speaker 2: Did you ever steal cigarettes or was it like a

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Speaker 2: pocket money?

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Speaker 3: No, you can. It was always they were always you know,

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Speaker 3: behind the counter, so we could never steal them. But

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Speaker 3: it got more difficult because when I was like maybe

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Speaker 3: sixteen or fifteen, they raised the age to eighteen, right,

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Speaker 3: so then you had to like find the place that

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Speaker 3: would sell you cigarettes, which was always like a problem.

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Speaker 2: And did you ever feel like your parents parents suspected

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Speaker 2: it or was a good.

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Speaker 3: You know, go back and forth about it all the time,

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Speaker 3: and I wish my mom died be four or five

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Speaker 3: years ago. And it's like after a parent dies, you

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Speaker 3: have all these questions, Like I always tell people whose

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Speaker 3: parents are alive, like, think of any question you ever

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Speaker 3: could ask your parents, and ask them now, because all

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00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,240
Speaker 3: of them come up, and I really honestly want to know.

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Speaker 3: I think it was Catholic denial. I think it had

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Speaker 3: to be Catholic denial.

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Speaker 2: That makes sense.

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Speaker 3: It's either that or the fact that like at the time,

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Speaker 3: like every restaurant in New Jersey you could smoke in,

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Speaker 3: so like if you just went into a restaurant, you

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Speaker 3: would leave smelling like smoke, So smelling like smoke wasn't

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Speaker 3: necessarily like a tell that you had been smoking. So

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Speaker 3: maybe that that's the only answer I can think of.

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Speaker 3: But the amount that I would like smoke a cigarette

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Speaker 3: in my room with the window open and then come downstairs,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, there's no way in hell she doesn't know.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, she never, But there was never like a confrontation.

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00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:06,080
Speaker 3: Once I was painting the ceiling and she had found

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00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:08,159
Speaker 3: a pack of cigarettes in my pocket or something, She's like,

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00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,280
Speaker 3: what are these? And I was like, oh, you know

338
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,240
Speaker 3: Damien and whatnot. That's my friend Damien. I just said

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00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,399
Speaker 3: Damien and whatnot and she let it lie. That was

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Speaker 3: so that was enough. I just I didn't even say

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Speaker 3: they were Damiens cigarettes. I didn't even finish that. I

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Speaker 3: just said, oh, you know Damien and whatnot. I guess

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Speaker 3: I was so chill about it. She was just like, well,

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Speaker 3: they must be daming right.

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Speaker 2: If there was any panic, she would have known immediately.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that is really a beautiful story. You need to

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00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,040
Speaker 2: do something with that. I just adore about that.

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Speaker 3: Oh well, that's a good idea. I am always looking

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Speaker 3: for things to write stand up about.

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Speaker 2: Well, look, I don't want I could talk to you

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Speaker 2: all day about childhood smoking, but I'm not going too

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00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,320
Speaker 2: because there's something else I want to talk about. And

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00:18:55,359 --> 00:19:00,639
Speaker 2: yesterday I was I was snooping around your porch. I

355
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,480
Speaker 2: had this in your neighborhood and just thought, maybe I'll

356
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,800
Speaker 2: take a look at what's happening over on Kurt's porch,

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Speaker 2: as I've been known to do. And I was there

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00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,240
Speaker 2: and it looked like there were some you know, boxes

359
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:16,359
Speaker 2: of dog food, various things like this. And then I

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00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:21,520
Speaker 2: noticed a little bag, a little gift bag, you know.

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00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 2: I picked it up and took it home without a

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Speaker 2: second thought. And then I on my way home, I

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00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:31,200
Speaker 2: looked over in the passenger seat and I thought, that

364
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:32,080
Speaker 2: looks like a gift.

365
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:33,920
Speaker 1: And then I.

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00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,040
Speaker 2: Realized, Oh, yeah, today Kurt is going to be on

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00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 2: the podcast. It's called I said No Gifts. I don't know,

368
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,320
Speaker 2: maybe I'll I'll let him know that I took this

369
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Speaker 2: bag off his porch and just see see what comes up.

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Speaker 2: And you know, Kurt, the podcast, as I just said,

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Speaker 2: is called I said no Gifts. You're you have this

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Speaker 2: bananas podcast on the same network. I feel like we're

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Speaker 2: almost family at this point, and so I feel like

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Speaker 2: you I know that the show, and you know that

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00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 2: I'm prone to fits of anger. We have a little

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Speaker 2: rule here, and so I'm just trying to hold you know,

377
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Speaker 2: my displeasure in right now, and I just want to

378
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,199
Speaker 2: confront you. Is this a gift for me?

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00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,600
Speaker 3: Look? Look, I want to I know you said no gifts.

380
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,800
Speaker 3: I mean, it's very obvious that you said no gifts.

381
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 3: But sometimes I just do feel that when people say

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00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 3: no gifts, it's a way of asking for a gift

383
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 3: a little bit because no one was talking about gifts

384
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 3: before that, right.

385
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:41,440
Speaker 2: I mean, who can say for sure? I can't.

386
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 3: I don't have a detailed diary of everything I'm saying

387
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:50,320
Speaker 3: at all times. Maybe that's my own fault, but I

388
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 3: could have been talking about gifts prior to saying I

389
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:53,439
Speaker 3: said no gifts.

390
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:57,480
Speaker 2: And this feels like to me, you're a good just deflecting,

391
00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,679
Speaker 2: trying to place the blame elsewhere.

392
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,360
Speaker 3: Look, I do a lot of podcasts, for sure, and

393
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:07,000
Speaker 3: never in a podcast invitation does it say do not

394
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,200
Speaker 3: bring a gift. It doesn't have They never say that, right,

395
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,400
Speaker 3: And so when this one says do not bring a gift,

396
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 3: I'm like, now the gift thing has been brought up.

397
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,159
Speaker 3: Now I have to bring a gift.

398
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:19,960
Speaker 2: Well, to me, that just sounds like a problem with

399
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 2: the podcast community in general, and again just placing the

400
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 2: blame on my own podcast. So I don't know, it

401
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 2: feels like we're not going to come to an agreement

402
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:32,159
Speaker 2: on this. I don't know.

403
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 3: I think you're gonna have to just take the gift.

404
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,640
Speaker 2: Okay? Should I open it here on the show?

405
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 3: Yes? Yes, please, I would love it if you did that.

406
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,800
Speaker 2: I do want to do that on an episode where

407
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 2: it's just like, okay, I'm not opening it, but stop.

408
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 2: Can we please talk about something else? No, I'm gonna

409
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,160
Speaker 2: I'm gonna open it. It's in a little Gucci bag.

410
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 2: I mean on one side, it seems to have some

411
00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 2: sort of writing. Child. I mean, maybe you're writing, I

412
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:03,159
Speaker 2: don't want.

413
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 3: I made a very nice bag for you. And then

414
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 3: my daughter drew all over it.

415
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,040
Speaker 2: Do you have any idea what she wrote?

416
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,399
Speaker 3: I don't. I was trying to figure out and I

417
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 3: didn't even know she wrote on it. And then I

418
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,760
Speaker 3: was like putting it outside. I was like, the fuck,

419
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:21,879
Speaker 3: when did she do this?

420
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 2: She's gotten vice handwriting thank you?

421
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 3: I can't tell what it says that it's a sort.

422
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 2: Of threatening message, I assume, But I'm going to get

423
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:39,080
Speaker 2: into the gifts here. There's no time to waste. There's

424
00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:43,160
Speaker 2: some tissue, some kind of almost beetlejuice type of tissue.

425
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:47,120
Speaker 3: I would say, white and black stripe, thinned. I thought

426
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 3: that was classy as well, for a classy pod.

427
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, and now I'm going to reach you in here

428
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,439
Speaker 2: and pull out. Okay, there's a card. I opened a

429
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 2: card first.

430
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 3: No, no, you go to gift first.

431
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:59,920
Speaker 2: Then first, Okay, you always have to find out. Okay,

432
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,879
Speaker 2: so there's some sort of box. Okay, oh, there's a

433
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:04,680
Speaker 2: Nordstrom box.

434
00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 3: Here inside a Gucci bag.

435
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 2: Very well, this gets fancier and fancier, to.

436
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:16,440
Speaker 3: Be honest, isn't that what's inside a little silver box?

437
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,199
Speaker 2: I feel like you're going to ask me to marry you.

438
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 3: The silver box and surrounded by purple, a gorge paper.

439
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 2: It's for that crinkle. I find crinkling very satisfying. But

440
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,879
Speaker 2: I have to go back and edit these. I love

441
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:36,120
Speaker 2: to hear the crinkle. Okay, we're getting into this gorgeous

442
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 2: almost like a silver alligator purse of a box. I

443
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 2: don't know that that's a good description. And now the

444
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 2: listener is extremely confused. It's like a little jewelry box.

445
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:47,479
Speaker 2: I would say that silver.

446
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's got a little texture.

447
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:54,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, a little texture. No, there's there's so many ltyers

448
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,480
Speaker 2: on wrapping that are being done here. There's now a

449
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,120
Speaker 2: little bag that says.

450
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 3: Like a jewelry bag, something valuable must be in there.

451
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 2: This is gonna be full of uh powder or something

452
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:11,160
Speaker 2: that's gonna blast me in the face, black pepper. Let's

453
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,640
Speaker 2: see here, I'm opening this little bag. It's like kind

454
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 2: of a silver. I don't know what sort of fabric

455
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 2: that is. Bag.

456
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:19,879
Speaker 3: It's almost mole skin.

457
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 2: I don't think there's anything in here.

458
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,680
Speaker 3: There is something in there is something in here. Would

459
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 3: you like to know what it is? Yes, of course,

460
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 3: I have given you a zone of immaterial pictorial sensibility.

461
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 3: All right, Now you open your Now you go to

462
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,120
Speaker 3: the Now you go to the card.

463
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 2: Oh, I go to the car. I forgot. I completely

464
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:39,920
Speaker 2: forgot about the card.

465
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,320
Speaker 3: Okay, I gotta go to the card. Now, Okay, you

466
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 3: have one zone of immaterial pictorial sensibility.

467
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:49,399
Speaker 2: I'm opening.

468
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 3: This is a real thing.

469
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:54,280
Speaker 2: Oh and is this BW on the card? Just all right?

470
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:58,280
Speaker 3: This is written, this has written on paper that I

471
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:01,679
Speaker 3: bought my way I had made for my wife for Christmas.

472
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 3: And she looked at me like I was the biggest

473
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 3: piece of shit in the entire world. When I gave

474
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,919
Speaker 3: it to her. She hates it so much. Abound it

475
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 3: in the back of a fluck of an old cabinet,

476
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,360
Speaker 3: and now I'm just using it up.

477
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 2: I think it's very nice stationary. Was she just like,

478
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,120
Speaker 2: what am I gonna do with this?

479
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 3: It says? It says from the desk of Lauren Cook

480
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 3: on it, and I think that maybe is nothing she

481
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:33,440
Speaker 3: would ever send to a human being who knows her.

482
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 2: It's very formal. It's too formal I should immediately I'm like,

483
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 2: she's mad at.

484
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,400
Speaker 3: Me, exactly, I should have thought. And that was kind

485
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 3: of like a default when I was making the paper.

486
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 3: They're like, you can say from the desk of and

487
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:47,680
Speaker 3: I was like, well, that sounds fun like it's from

488
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:51,679
Speaker 3: the desk and uh yeah, no, that's the part that

489
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 3: I think ruined it for.

490
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 2: Okay, so this is you are now the proud owner

491
00:25:56,119 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 2: of one zone of immaterial pictorial sensibility. You're welcome and

492
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:01,960
Speaker 2: from Kurt.

493
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,359
Speaker 3: So yes, okay, there's three photographs in there.

494
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, let me look at these photographs.

495
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:10,440
Speaker 3: Are you familiar with the artist Eve Klein? I'm not, okay.

496
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:14,679
Speaker 3: So he was an artist in Paris in the fifties

497
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 3: and sixties and he he's totally fascinating, And I thought

498
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 3: this was a nice tie in to bananas because he's

499
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:25,080
Speaker 3: one of my most I think he's like historically a

500
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 3: very bananas artist. Sure, and so what he he did

501
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:33,479
Speaker 3: all this great crazy stuff brief history. He created his

502
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 3: own color blue called International Client Blue. What does everybody

503
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 3: do sell it? Isn't it amazing? He's inspired a lot

504
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 3: of people. People have different colors now, but he was

505
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 3: like the first one. He's like, this is my blue.

506
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,119
Speaker 3: And he would just sell paintings that were just all blue,

507
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 3: but they were this specific type of very vibrant blue.

508
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 3: So that's how he started off by with his own color.

509
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,200
Speaker 3: And then he made this photograph called the Artist Leaps

510
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 3: into the Void of him jumping off of a of

511
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 3: a like a second story and there's nothing below him.

512
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 3: And it is the first time that like someone presented

513
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 3: a photograph that had been manipulated, but like said it

514
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,880
Speaker 3: was real, right, And then he got into a fight.

515
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 3: So this whole the way the zone of im material

516
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 3: pictorial sensibility came up is he got into a fight

517
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 3: with his galeriist and he took all of his paintings

518
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 3: out of her gallery and he said, you tell everybody

519
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 3: that my paintings are invisible if you want to sell

520
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 3: my paintings. And so she was like telling some guy,

521
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:35,159
Speaker 3: some rich man, and he was like, I'll buy an

522
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 3: invisible painting from him. So then she contacted him. She's like,

523
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 3: he wants to buy an invisible painting from you. So

524
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:44,719
Speaker 3: then he sold the man a zone of immaterial pictorial sensibility,

525
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,120
Speaker 3: and he sold and then he started selling dozens of them.

526
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 3: But the way that would work, the way it would

527
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 3: work is you had to pay for the zone of

528
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 3: immaterial pictorial sensibility in pieces of gold, and it had

529
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,679
Speaker 3: to be done on the side of the sin of

530
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:01,200
Speaker 3: the river. And he would then and he would give

531
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 3: you a receipt for purchasing the zone of immaterial pictorial sensibility.

532
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,439
Speaker 3: But then he you had to burn the receipt in

533
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 3: front of him, and then he would throw half the

534
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 3: gold into the river.

535
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 2: Oh my god, no way. This is an amazing person.

536
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,120
Speaker 3: Is an amazing person, so that he would keep half

537
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,919
Speaker 3: the gold. But then this other person who bought it

538
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 3: had nothing, that had nothing to show other than these photographs.

539
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 3: And so if you look at the photographs, there's a

540
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,479
Speaker 3: photograph of him throwing the gold into the river, and

541
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 3: then there's another one of the guy burning the receipt,

542
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:36,879
Speaker 3: and then another I think, what's the other one? What's

543
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 3: the third photo?

544
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 2: I think it's uh, they have like a little box.

545
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 3: Is this the gold? Yeah, that's the gold. It was

546
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 3: like twenty pieces of gold.

547
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 2: So it's like this one. Then the gold is literally

548
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 2: tossed in the river. We have an incredible feeling that

549
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 2: would be half of it. Yeah, and then burning the

550
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 2: receipt and then burning by an artist, Yes, exactly. It's

551
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 2: so wonderful. And so he sold like twenty five or

552
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 2: thirty of these. And so I met a guy on

553
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 2: Craigslist who he had one. He had purchased one and

554
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 2: had been handed down and handed down from family to family,

555
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 2: and he had purchased one. And so I met him

556
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 2: at the side of the Los Angeles River and I

557
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 2: paid him ten pieces of gold, which is only two

558
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty dollars. He threw half of him in

559
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 2: the water, and then he gave me receipt. I burned

560
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:27,240
Speaker 2: the receipt.

561
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 3: And now you are the owner of that zone of

562
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 3: an immaterial pictorial sensibility.

563
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 2: This is absurd. I can't believe this. I feel like

564
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 2: I've been welcomed into a magic society.

565
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 3: You're welcome.

566
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 2: What was this guy like? The guy when you met him?

567
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 2: What was the situation? This feels so dangerous to me.

568
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 3: You know, he kind of just seemed like an art

569
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 3: nerd you know, He was like very kind of like stylish.

570
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 3: He had little round glasses. He was wearing no jacket

571
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 3: but a scarf. Do you know that kind right?

572
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 2: Of course? Of course not never a good look. I'll

573
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 2: say never a good look. Really, just tracket on any one.

574
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 3: Scarves are great with the jacket, right, t shirt and

575
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 3: scarf doesn't work.

576
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 2: It just looks like you ran out of options or something.

577
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he brought a little cigar box and the

578
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 3: zone was inside there, and he gave it to me

579
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 3: and we did our transaction, and there you go.

580
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 2: He threw some gold in the La River. Yes, it's

581
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 2: a let's be honest. La River is essentially like someone

582
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:35,840
Speaker 2: left the sink running, so it's he threw it like

583
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 2: a like kind of damp curb. Basically, this is necessary.

584
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 3: There is some gold flake available near the Fletcher Street

585
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 3: bridge of the Los Angeles River if anyone wants to

586
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 3: get into a toilet for twenty to thirty dollars worth

587
00:30:58,400 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 3: of gold fleck.

588
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 2: That is incredible. And how long did the whole transaction last?

589
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 3: It was about ten minutes.

590
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, how did you find him on Craigslist?

591
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 3: I was just looking for zones of immaterial pictorial sensibility,

592
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 3: you know, and that when you search the internet, you know,

593
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 3: all all roads lead to Craigslist. That's what they say.

594
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 2: I feel like you're someone who has probably purchased a

595
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 2: decent amount of interesting things off of Craigslist. Is that true?

596
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 3: I let me think, no, but I remember once I

597
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 3: haven't purchased anything off Craigslist. But I like to give

598
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 3: things away for free on Craigslist. Oh sure, because that's

599
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 3: fun where you're just like when you have this thing

600
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 3: and you just want to get rid of it so badly, right,

601
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 3: and you put it on and it's with It's just

602
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 3: so wonderful, especially if you're a big city. In a

603
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 3: big city, the thing is gone within moments. We did it.

604
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,200
Speaker 3: We were trying to clean out an apartment. We tried

605
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 3: to sell everything in the apartment. Oh hell, and we

606
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 3: only had like eight hours to do it because we

607
00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 3: were living in La so we had flown to New York.

608
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 3: We all had access to the apartment for this amount

609
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 3: of time, so we'd been still getting a shirt. It

610
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 3: was yeah, it was terrible, and no one bought anything,

611
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 3: and so then in the last hour we just put

612
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 3: it all for free and it was gone. In fifteen

613
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 3: the whole apartment was taken apart and dismantled and taken

614
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 3: out in fifteen minutes by strangers.

615
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, there were just vultures circling the free section

616
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 2: of Craigslist at all times and just wanting to swoop

617
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 2: down and take whatever is there. There are so many

618
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 2: odd things you find on craig or the free section

619
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 2: of Craigslist. I've never taken any of them, but it's

620
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 2: just a fun dive to get in there and just

621
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 2: say what's happening here.

622
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 3: I feel like if I was a college student, I

623
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,880
Speaker 3: would get definitely, because I remember I we had so

624
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 3: many couches that were all street couches in college. You know,

625
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 3: we just stacked them on. We had multiple couches like

626
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 3: stacked up this way so that you could then fold

627
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 3: it down and have another couch if you wanted another couch.

628
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:56,479
Speaker 2: You just had couches like bolts out on their side.

629
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, So we had like big, big couches and then

630
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,479
Speaker 3: smaller couches stacked on their side. So if we had

631
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 3: a lot of people over that, that other couch would

632
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 3: come down and then you had kind of like a

633
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 3: square of couches.

634
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 2: You know, what also, speaking of rivers, something I'm deeply

635
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 2: jealous of you is you did you travel across the

636
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 2: entire country by jet ski?

637
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 3: We went from Chicago to New Orleans.

638
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 2: How long did that take?

639
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 3: We did it in seven days?

640
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 2: That is wild.

641
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 3: It was for a web series when they were called

642
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 3: website no One.

643
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 2: I haven't heard that in years.

644
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 3: For comedy center called roused About And yeah, I traveled

645
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 3: from Chicago to New Orleans on a jet ski and

646
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 3: while raising money for to send a thousand chickens and

647
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 3: five hundred goats to African families in needs. So we

648
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 3: raised all this money and yeah, and I wrote and

649
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 3: then we also made like a seven or eight episode

650
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 3: web series, right.

651
00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:01,719
Speaker 2: Which was very different what maybe eight years I think, So,

652
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 2: I don't remember exactly how it works. You would just

653
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 2: get on the jet ski and ride down a river

654
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 2: for all day, I assume.

655
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, we would wake up early in the morning,

656
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 3: wake up at like six, and start shooting because we

657
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 3: also had to like produce an episode a day, right,

658
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:19,799
Speaker 3: So we wake up at six and shoot from like

659
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,279
Speaker 3: six to noon. So we always had like some thing

660
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 3: that we were doing wherever we were, like in Kaskaskia,

661
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 3: the smallest town in Illinois. I visited everyone who lived

662
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,320
Speaker 3: in town and I gave him a cake. There was

663
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 3: only eight people. And then I had a billboard put

664
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 3: up in the town that just said Caskaskia, We're doing fine.

665
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 3: And so that was so we would shoot that until

666
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 3: about noon, and then at noon I would get on

667
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 3: the jet ski and then ride for about eight hours.

668
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:53,760
Speaker 2: How does it feel writing a jet ski for eight hours?

669
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:55,360
Speaker 2: Is your body just destroyed?

670
00:34:55,760 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 3: It was? I had to. I trained for it. I

671
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 3: had I had specific like jet ski training, like a

672
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 3: workout routine that I was like pretty much like, I don't.

673
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:11,239
Speaker 3: I don't. I didn't then work out at all, right,

674
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 3: And this was the first time I did, and I

675
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 3: really got into it because I was just like, I

676
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 3: got it. I can't jet ski for eight hours if

677
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be ready for it. And I was.

678
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 3: I think I was ready for it. It's not that bad.

679
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 3: You're sitting down most of the time. The worst part

680
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,280
Speaker 3: is rashes and stuff like that. A lot of rashes.

681
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 3: Chafing alone, the chasing tons of chafing. Yeah, it is intense.

682
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,359
Speaker 2: Did you meet like a jet ski coach? How does

683
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 2: that workout? Work? Oh?

684
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 3: Well, the workout was literally just like a workout for

685
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 3: my muscles. But then I also did meet like a

686
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 3: water safety guy and we had to have like a

687
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 3: water safety class about jet skis.

688
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 2: Had you been on a jet ski prior to this?

689
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,279
Speaker 3: I had, I had been on a jet ski, but

690
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:54,360
Speaker 3: I hadn't been on a jet ski in twenty years.

691
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:58,400
Speaker 3: You know, my dad was into jet skis. My dad divorced.

692
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 3: Dad super into jet skis, classic fucking He's just juicy

693
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,880
Speaker 3: fruit in it all over town, take us nip, you know.

694
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 3: And so I grew up with him riding jet skis.

695
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 3: But that was it. Yeah, but I hadn't been on

696
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 3: one in such a long time.

697
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 2: Have you been on one since?

698
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 3: I have not?

699
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,840
Speaker 2: I feel like that. That's like that's the smoking a

700
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 2: whole pack of cigarettes of jet skis basically.

701
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 3: But you know what, I never thought, even as a child,

702
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:31,480
Speaker 3: I always thought jet skis are dumb and I and

703
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:37,719
Speaker 3: after doing my trip, I maybe maybe I could. I

704
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 3: could own a jet ski.

705
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:42,399
Speaker 2: I think jet skis. I mean, of course, it's maybe

706
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,759
Speaker 2: the dumbest idea of humanity has ever come up with.

707
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 2: But it's very fun.

708
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:49,799
Speaker 3: It's so fun, it's so pleasant. There was a day.

709
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:55,760
Speaker 3: The best day was from Saint Louis down to Kaskaskia

710
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,320
Speaker 3: or near the Kaskaskia River. And that's probably like I

711
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 3: don't know, eighty aisles or something and uh, and that's

712
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 3: on the Mississippi. And unfortunately we didn't We couldn't go

713
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,280
Speaker 3: super far on the Mississippi because at a certain point

714
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,799
Speaker 3: there's no where to get gas, so we had to

715
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 3: get off and get on different rivers. But for those

716
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:17,319
Speaker 3: two days we were just fully on the Mississippi. And

717
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 3: that's it was. It was exactly what I had wanted,

718
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,920
Speaker 3: which was like it was true like Tom Sawyer kind

719
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 3: of like it's a mile wide river. The sun is

720
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 3: setting and there was no wind, so it was just

721
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 3: like plate glass and and and and when you're on

722
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:38,760
Speaker 3: the jet ski for long enough, the constant wind pressure, feeling,

723
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:42,360
Speaker 3: the vibration and the noise that you can't talk to anybody,

724
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:46,280
Speaker 3: but you have this constant like wor you enter into

725
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 3: like this beautiful meditative state. I feel like I like

726
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 3: reached nirvana on a jet ski in the Mississippi River.

727
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,320
Speaker 2: Just an absolute danger to everyone around you.

728
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:04,479
Speaker 3: Just six hours blissed out on the Mississippi River, time

729
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 3: went by.

730
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 2: Like that jet ski fever. I'm so jealous of this,

731
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 2: I truly am. I mean, there are very few things

732
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:13,440
Speaker 2: I'm jealous of experience wise, of other people. And the

733
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,960
Speaker 2: fact that you've got to just write a jet ski

734
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 2: down the Mississippi for ours is wild.

735
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 3: It was so, it was it was beautiful. It was

736
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 3: one of the best things I've ever done in my life.

737
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 2: Oh, I love it. I feel like you always have something,

738
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:30,279
Speaker 2: you're up to something, as the last year slowed that

739
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 2: down in some way.

740
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think having kids just slowed it down right, that,

741
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:38,280
Speaker 3: you know, And now it's mainly all of the things

742
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 3: that we get into are with bananas. You know. Scotty

743
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 3: came up with a new idea for because we've always

744
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:48,319
Speaker 3: been talking about micronations, but I haven't thought about them

745
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 3: in years, and Scotty was like, we have to make

746
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 3: a micronation. So our new thing is that we're in

747
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:54,880
Speaker 3: a try and we're trying to find we're trying to

748
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 3: find out how exactly we can make East Banana land right, Oh.

749
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 2: My god, that would Can you set up a micronation anywhere?

750
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 2: Or is it like you have to buy a little

751
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:06,840
Speaker 2: piece of land in Wyoming or something.

752
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 3: I think you have to own the land, and I

753
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:13,719
Speaker 3: think I think you have to have currency, a constitution,

754
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,879
Speaker 3: and passports. I think those are the requirements, but I'm

755
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:20,120
Speaker 3: not positive. So we're like waiting if anybody who's listening

756
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:22,319
Speaker 3: to this as like a lawyer, real estate lawyer, or

757
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 3: country lawyer.

758
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 2: We have a lot of people from the un listening

759
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 2: this kind of thing. It's most of our listener base

760
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:36,759
Speaker 2: is just ambassadors, and that's very exciting. Well, hopefully that'll work.

761
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 2: I mean, dumber people than you have created micronation.

762
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 3: Certainly, it's usually the dumbest.

763
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 2: Certainly, wow, But that's a I mean, I feel like

764
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 2: that's a realistic goal within the next year to set

765
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 2: up a micronation and then immediately go to war with

766
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:55,680
Speaker 2: the United States.

767
00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 3: Immediately close the border.

768
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 2: Do you have any other goals like that?

769
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 3: Let's see what else. I'm gonna go camping for the

770
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,360
Speaker 3: first time with my daughter. I'm very excited about that.

771
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 3: She's four. I love camping and my wife does not.

772
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 2: Okay, right, I'm familiar with this type of situation.

773
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 3: Yes, and we're trying to see if my if I

774
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:25,920
Speaker 3: can interest my daughter. But without putting any pressure. It's

775
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 3: so weird, like yeah, exactly, It's like yeah, Like so

776
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 3: it's like when you care so much about a thing,

777
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 3: but you can't show that you care because that would

778
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,919
Speaker 3: put pressure on a child and then that it would

779
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,080
Speaker 3: ruin for the child. So it's like, I'm going to

780
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,240
Speaker 3: be in that situation. It's got to be an inception

781
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 3: type situation. Basically, you have to make it, make her

782
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:49,320
Speaker 3: think it was her idea, all of it, yes, exactly,

783
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 3: and it's like, I'm definitely not good at that kind

784
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 3: of thing.

785
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 2: So start talking about how much you hate camping in

786
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 2: front of her.

787
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,360
Speaker 3: I don't want to go. Maybe we shouldn't go. And

788
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:01,359
Speaker 3: if she's like, oh, okay, let's not go, I'd be like, no, no,

789
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 3: we have to.

790
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:06,359
Speaker 2: What are you talking about, Kurt. It's time to play

791
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:06,760
Speaker 2: a game.

792
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:07,760
Speaker 3: Love games.

793
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:10,960
Speaker 2: I want to play the game. I'm trying to, you know, constant,

794
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 2: constantly trying to balance the scales of the games on

795
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 2: this podcast. I'll play two rounds of one game and

796
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,399
Speaker 2: then suddenly listeners are saying they never played the other game.

797
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,879
Speaker 2: So it's just I'm trying. Maybe I should stop trying

798
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 2: to please people. Maybe that's the real issue here. But

799
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 2: we're gonna play gift Master. And then of course next

800
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:31,320
Speaker 2: week people are going to be screaming play gift or

801
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 2: a curse. I don't care. You know my podcast, my rules.

802
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 2: We're gonna play a game called gift Master. I need

803
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,800
Speaker 2: a number between one and ten from you. Seven, Okay,

804
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:46,720
Speaker 2: I have to calculate in the meantime, you know, promote something,

805
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 2: recommend something, do whatever you want with your time. Just

806
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:53,000
Speaker 2: don't sing a copyrighted song. We ran into some issues

807
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 2: with that recently. Let's avoid that. I'll be right back.

808
00:41:56,680 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 3: Listen to Bananas. It's on the Exactly Right Now network.

809
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 3: We cover strange news. Each week. We cover four to

810
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:08,919
Speaker 3: five or six maybe strange news events from around the world,

811
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,279
Speaker 3: and we use those as jumping off points for our

812
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 3: own personal strange stories. It's a lot of fun. It's

813
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 3: very light. You're not gonna you're not gonna do too

814
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:25,879
Speaker 3: much thinking, but you might do some chuck lin. It's

815
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 3: Scotty and I and we have a guest every week.

816
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 3: It's usually a female or non binary guest, because nobody

817
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,359
Speaker 3: needs three dudes talking. And yeah, so come on, come

818
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 3: on over to Bananas. If you start listening now, you

819
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 3: could get citizenship to East Banana Land, which will be

820
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 3: incepted soon.

821
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:48,839
Speaker 2: Kurt, stop trying to drag people into your country. It's

822
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 2: going to be a failure. And I don't want my

823
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 2: listeners getting dupe. But do listen to Bananas Very fun podcast.

824
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 2: And Okay, let's play the game. This is what's going

825
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 2: to happen. I'm going to name three potential gifts things

826
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:07,800
Speaker 2: you can give away, and I'm going to name three

827
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 2: celebrities who you're going to be giving them to. You're

828
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,280
Speaker 2: going to tell me who you're giving what and why

829
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:14,319
Speaker 2: does that make it great?

830
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 3: Yes? And then you'll judge it.

831
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,920
Speaker 2: You know, this is this game is very low on judgment.

832
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 2: This is oh, this is Gift or a Curse. Is

833
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 2: the game where we really I go hard on the guest.

834
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 3: And I trained for that way. I was like training,

835
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 3: I was like, I think I understand Bridger, Now I

836
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:30,399
Speaker 3: think I can do this well.

837
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 2: I like to waste people's time, so I'm glad I

838
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 2: was able to waste a little bit of your personal time.

839
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 2: This game is more, you know, maybe occasionally I'll say

840
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 2: that doesn't work, but this is more just if we

841
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 2: work together to give away gifts, the three gifts you're

842
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 2: going to be giving are a collection of teas from

843
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,320
Speaker 2: around the world. So that's kind of a nice gift

844
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 2: that feels like it would be fancy. Next gift is

845
00:43:56,040 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 2: a walk on roll on Chicago Fire NBC's Chicago Fire.

846
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 2: This would be a role, small role on the show

847
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:06,279
Speaker 2: with the firefighters or whatever they're doing in Chicago. Talking

848
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:08,920
Speaker 2: under five here, I'm thinking this is an under five.

849
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:13,800
Speaker 2: Unfortunately this is not an extra. But this person's maybe

850
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:18,320
Speaker 2: saying like the little girl's in a tree, or help

851
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 2: my husband's still in the house, that kind of thing,

852
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 2: whatever a fire fire fighter's dealing with. And then finally,

853
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 2: the final gift is a box of bugles and a

854
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:33,400
Speaker 2: Duffel bag. So that's a box of the snack bugles

855
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 2: and a you know, standard Duffel bag. Nothing fancy.

856
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 3: Can I ask what color of the Duffel bags.

857
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,759
Speaker 2: That's up to you. I'm not Yeah, I'm leaving that

858
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 2: up to the gift giver, and you'll be giving them

859
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 2: to buzz Aldrin, you know, mister Space himself. Then you're

860
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:54,320
Speaker 2: going to be giving it to Laura Croft tomb Raider,

861
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 2: so that you know that is not a real person.

862
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 2: But that's fine. And finally, Frank Ocean. Everybody loves Frank Ocean.

863
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,760
Speaker 2: We're always wondering what Frank is going to do next.

864
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:11,400
Speaker 3: A true artist, truly one of our best. Okay, I

865
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 3: thought you were gonna say Laura Kraft, who is a

866
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 3: comedy writer that we might know at govit. I do

867
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 3: have a question to specify here. Is it Laura Croft

868
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 3: tomb Raider who is also Angelina Jolie, Or is it

869
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:30,840
Speaker 3: Laura Croft tomb Raider who is the new actress actor

870
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 3: that plays her, or is it the video game Persona?

871
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 2: Now, this is what I'm going to say. This is

872
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:41,840
Speaker 2: going I'm going to say it's the Laura Croft just

873
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,919
Speaker 2: kind of in the cloud of our minds. It's all

874
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 2: three of them at once, it's one of them individually.

875
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 2: Laura Croft is kind of a shape shifting ghost almost.

876
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:53,320
Speaker 2: If I can say.

877
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 3: That, it's the pasonic ideal.

878
00:45:55,960 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, the platonic ideal of Laura Croft. What is that?

879
00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 2: That's what we all need to Just picture what Laura

880
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:07,839
Speaker 2: Croft is to you and your mind and go for it.

881
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 3: Hmm. All right, Honestly, I think I have to give

882
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:19,840
Speaker 3: the show the walk n roll on Chicago Fire to

883
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 3: the platonic idea of Laura Croft doom Raider, because it

884
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 3: would be so difficult to pull off. I think it's

885
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:28,640
Speaker 3: gonna make us make some decisions, do you know what

886
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:32,080
Speaker 3: I mean? And if it is Angela Julie, it's gonna

887
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:35,280
Speaker 3: be really difficult to get her to accept the gift. Okay,

888
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 3: she's not going fuck this. And if it's the video

889
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 3: game thing, that's gonna look real weird. So it's going

890
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:45,480
Speaker 3: to fuck up Chicago fire a little bit.

891
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:50,360
Speaker 2: That is a gorgeous idea. Suddenly, in the middle of

892
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 2: a horrible Chicago fire, we're looking at some version of

893
00:46:54,080 --> 00:47:00,520
Speaker 2: Flora Croft rope around her belt. What it makes as

894
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:05,440
Speaker 2: little sense as possible. I love what's happening there, uh.

895
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 3: Hmm, you know, And I think I think that that

896
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 3: makes the other too easy. Once we have that out

897
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:14,799
Speaker 3: of the way, I feel like we've got only one

898
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 3: path to go on. Buzz Aldron's an old man, you know,

899
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 3: he has been to space. He would like to relax.

900
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 2: It's time, somebody said it.

901
00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 3: It's time that he sits down and has assorted teas

902
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 3: from around the world, because that's what an old man

903
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:33,359
Speaker 3: wants to do. After you've done it all. You want

904
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:35,279
Speaker 3: to have a cup of tea. I don't know how

905
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:42,279
Speaker 3: I drink tea and a glos and just look at

906
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,239
Speaker 3: a tree for a couple hours. You know.

907
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:49,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like Buzz he's I mean, once you've

908
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:52,120
Speaker 2: gone to space, I feel like everything's just a letdown

909
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:54,439
Speaker 2: after that and you just want to quietly sip tea.

910
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, he probably isn't even allowed to eat bugles at

911
00:47:58,040 --> 00:47:59,200
Speaker 3: this point, do you know what I mean?

912
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:01,120
Speaker 2: Too sharp for that man's mouth.

913
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 3: And any duffel you would give to buzz Aldron, he

914
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:08,359
Speaker 3: has a cooler one that says NASA, you know, right,

915
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 3: and it's from the sixties.

916
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 2: I bet that would be a beautiful duffel bag.

917
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,279
Speaker 3: Actually, that's probably what the best stuffel bag you get,

918
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 3: because that was when people thought duffel bags was an

919
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 3: appropriate way to carry things. You know, people all had

920
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:24,400
Speaker 3: duffel bags. It's like, it's the worst. If you're carrying

921
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 3: a duffel bag. Now you're up to you are going

922
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:30,160
Speaker 3: to be on the news. You have weapons, there's weapons

923
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:34,319
Speaker 3: or dildo's or something like. There's nothing. No, nothing is

924
00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 3: carried in a duffel bag. That's good or it's money.

925
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:39,400
Speaker 2: You know, right, you're carrying golds to the La River.

926
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 3: In a duffel bag and so and then I would

927
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:48,920
Speaker 3: give Frank Ocean the bugles and the duffel bag. He

928
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,440
Speaker 3: can put the bugles in the duffel bag and then

929
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:53,480
Speaker 3: that's what he That's the bad thing he can be

930
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 3: carrying around is the bugles in his duffel bag. And

931
00:48:56,719 --> 00:48:58,359
Speaker 3: then he can snap and people like, what's that? What

932
00:48:58,360 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 3: do you got? You got guns in there? And he's

933
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:02,880
Speaker 3: like bugles and pop one in.

934
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:07,280
Speaker 2: Like Frank Ocean secretly likes a bugle. He's pretty fancy.

935
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:10,400
Speaker 2: But I feel like I can see him secretly snacking on,

936
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:12,760
Speaker 2: putting him on all of his fingers and saying theys ago.

937
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 3: I mean, who would have thought in the history of

938
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:20,919
Speaker 3: snack foods that that would be something people would want

939
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 3: to be able to wear the food on your fingertips

940
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 3: before eating it. And that's exactly what you want to

941
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:27,520
Speaker 3: do when you see that up.

942
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:31,640
Speaker 2: Of course, I have this occasionally. I'll have this thought

943
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:34,640
Speaker 2: of a me awake late at night in my bed

944
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:38,840
Speaker 2: and suddenly there's a hand on the window, bugles on

945
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 2: every finger, just kind of slowly gliding down the window.

946
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:43,759
Speaker 2: I think that would be the scariest thing you could

947
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:46,239
Speaker 2: see outside, because it's not.

948
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:50,719
Speaker 3: It's it raises so many questions that you know you're

949
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:55,040
Speaker 3: dealing with someone who is capable of anything, the most unhinged,

950
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 3: the most unhinged. If it's knives on all the fingertips,

951
00:49:58,560 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 3: you're like, we've seen it.

952
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:00,720
Speaker 2: It's get done.

953
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 3: Come on, yeah, you make you could, you could cut

954
00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:06,720
Speaker 3: them down, be like, what are you the Freddie Freddie,

955
00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:08,800
Speaker 3: the Freddie Bugler or whatever.

956
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:14,480
Speaker 2: Thank god for that. Okay, you did an excellent job,

957
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 2: no judgment whatsoever. Will you help me answer some questions?

958
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 3: Yes? Please?

959
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:23,319
Speaker 2: This is called I said no questions. People write into

960
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 2: I said no gifts at gmail dot com. They're desperate

961
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,839
Speaker 2: for answers. They're not always getting answers, you know, they're

962
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 2: you know, there are questions coming in, and I'm just

963
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:33,399
Speaker 2: going to apologize to people who I don't answer. I'm

964
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:37,239
Speaker 2: only one man, My guests are only one person. There's

965
00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 2: only so much weight we can carry. So let's answer

966
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 2: some questions, Kurt. Let's try to do our best. This

967
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:46,440
Speaker 2: first one, let's see here, this feels looking for one

968
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:48,359
Speaker 2: that's like a medium length. The first one I saw

969
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:52,800
Speaker 2: was truly six paragraphs. This one says Hibridger. I'm about

970
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,799
Speaker 2: to graduate from my master's program in June, and I've

971
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 2: spent two thirds of it doing school virtually from home.

972
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:01,800
Speaker 2: I want to get a gift for my amazing thesis advisor,

973
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:04,440
Speaker 2: but I'm not sure what to get her. The thing is,

974
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:08,239
Speaker 2: I've only met her on Zoom, so she's only seen

975
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:10,480
Speaker 2: the torso and head of this person who's never met

976
00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:12,719
Speaker 2: them in person, So I can't look at things in

977
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 2: her office to get clues about what she might like. Additionally,

978
00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 2: this gift will need to be either mailed to her

979
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 2: home or I'll need to awkwardly drop it on her

980
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 2: doorstep and run away. I'm a grad student, so I

981
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:26,600
Speaker 2: don't have a huge budget, but would spend up to

982
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:29,719
Speaker 2: about fifty dollars or so. Please advise what I would

983
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:33,040
Speaker 2: gift to my virtual torso and head of a mentor. Thanks.

984
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:37,320
Speaker 2: That's from Mollie, So Mollie. The first thing I'm noticing

985
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:41,320
Speaker 2: about Molly is that she's nosy. Her gift giving style

986
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:45,319
Speaker 2: depends on just getting in other people's things, so that

987
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 2: is a failing. I'll just say that's a failing on

988
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:51,840
Speaker 2: Molly's part. Also, I don't know about you, Brad.

989
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:53,760
Speaker 3: I don't know if you've ever worked in an office,

990
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:56,000
Speaker 3: but when I worked in an office, I had no

991
00:51:56,280 --> 00:52:00,160
Speaker 3: thing in my office that would identify my personality.

992
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:01,719
Speaker 2: Like the person would say, I need to get him

993
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:02,200
Speaker 2: a lamp.

994
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, he y, I noticed you add staples, so I've

995
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:09,080
Speaker 3: gotten you a stapler. You know, like that's the best

996
00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:10,080
Speaker 3: they could come up with.

997
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:15,319
Speaker 2: On the stack of printer paper. Yeah, that's a I

998
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 2: feel like you're not going to get any clues from

999
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 2: that office. Also, Molly, you're on zoom. We're all looking

1000
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:26,279
Speaker 2: at people's backgrounds unless this person has a virtual background, Like,

1001
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:30,080
Speaker 2: take a look around in the computer, you're gonna notice

1002
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:32,240
Speaker 2: something that's going to be in a fifty dollars budget.

1003
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 2: That said, Molly, I'm sorry, we're just jaestizing here rather

1004
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 2: than getting into obviously not a pair of pants. You

1005
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:43,319
Speaker 2: haven't seen what's happening beneath the torso this we don't

1006
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:49,200
Speaker 2: know if this person's a khaki wearer jeans floor length skirt.

1007
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,360
Speaker 2: That would feel like swing bold.

1008
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:56,480
Speaker 3: Move to purchase clothes for anyone that you are not

1009
00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:58,160
Speaker 3: the father or mother of.

1010
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:01,240
Speaker 2: You know, to me, the funniest thing you can possibly

1011
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:04,080
Speaker 2: do is buy an adult in your life who does

1012
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:07,000
Speaker 2: not live in your home a pair of genes. It's

1013
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 2: just like just you're hitting the brakes on that relationship immediately.

1014
00:53:13,239 --> 00:53:16,600
Speaker 3: I learned that the hard way with my wife because

1015
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:19,400
Speaker 3: I bought her a dress once and she was and

1016
00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 3: it was like it did not go down.

1017
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:23,719
Speaker 2: Well, that's a giant swing.

1018
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 3: That's a giant swing you don't buy and also like

1019
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:29,879
Speaker 3: not Yeah, And it was like early on in the relationship,

1020
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:32,319
Speaker 3: I didn't really know her style. I was almost it

1021
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:34,400
Speaker 3: was almost came off as like this is what I

1022
00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:36,480
Speaker 3: want you to look like kind of thing.

1023
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,040
Speaker 2: Right, I mean, that's what it is with clothes. It's

1024
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:40,040
Speaker 2: like this is what I want you to be with.

1025
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:42,080
Speaker 2: I mean that's I want you to wear this in

1026
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:43,479
Speaker 2: front of me. Yeah.

1027
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:46,280
Speaker 3: So no, no clothes. I never buy clothes for anyone.

1028
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:46,919
Speaker 4: Right.

1029
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:51,120
Speaker 2: So this professor or mentor or whatever it is, Uh,

1030
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:53,560
Speaker 2: did we get any details? I feel like we didn't

1031
00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:58,560
Speaker 2: get We're really just getting a look into Molly's inner life.

1032
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:02,319
Speaker 3: And this thing, I mean it's a thesis advisor. So

1033
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:06,640
Speaker 3: obviously their books must have come up, if that's right.

1034
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:08,799
Speaker 3: So they've been just talking about books. If there is

1035
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:12,960
Speaker 3: a like like signed slash and or limited edition or

1036
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 3: an old edition, a nice version of a book that

1037
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 3: they both enjoy.

1038
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:22,680
Speaker 2: Right, or that you enjoy and think that this hopefully

1039
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 2: you've picked up on some level of what this person

1040
00:54:25,160 --> 00:54:27,720
Speaker 2: enjoys and their general taste?

1041
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:31,640
Speaker 3: Do they do you have? The drinking is always a

1042
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:32,920
Speaker 3: way to bring people together.

1043
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 2: Got a bottle of whiskey, A.

1044
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,000
Speaker 3: Fifty dollars bottle of whiskey. That's nice.

1045
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 2: There you go. A terrarium.

1046
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:41,600
Speaker 3: Ooh, I like that.

1047
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:42,920
Speaker 2: Get a nice terrarium.

1048
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 3: I got one for you, And I don't know where

1049
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:48,400
Speaker 3: she's going to get this because it was very specifically

1050
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:51,880
Speaker 3: made in like two thousand and three at a specific

1051
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:56,480
Speaker 3: place in Brooklyn on Fifth Avenue. But it was like

1052
00:54:56,560 --> 00:55:00,279
Speaker 3: an old school terrarium, like imagine like a circle this

1053
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 3: and like moss and like a little plant and everything.

1054
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:06,160
Speaker 3: But then it had a little diorama that was in

1055
00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:10,720
Speaker 3: there with little people, so then the world was like there,

1056
00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:13,319
Speaker 3: like one was like flying a kite with a mom

1057
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:15,719
Speaker 3: and a dad and a dog jumping midair. Oh, this

1058
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 3: is all miniature inside the terrarium and it was fucking amazing.

1059
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:21,720
Speaker 2: That feels like something you could get on Etsy.

1060
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:25,399
Speaker 3: I feel like across the board everybody likes that. That's

1061
00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:26,880
Speaker 3: a bold statement.

1062
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:30,440
Speaker 2: And I feel like we're not seeing enough terrariums. I agree.

1063
00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:33,439
Speaker 2: I agree, that's a cool thing. I don't own any,

1064
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:35,160
Speaker 2: so maybe I'm part of the problem.

1065
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:36,439
Speaker 3: I don't have. I would like one.

1066
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:38,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, if anyone's out there, Kurt and I would both

1067
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:43,240
Speaker 2: love a terrarium. Take your pick. I think they all

1068
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:45,279
Speaker 2: always look nice. It's just a nice little glass thing

1069
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 2: full of plants.

1070
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:49,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great idea. God damn it, Bridge, You're

1071
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:50,080
Speaker 3: you're very good.

1072
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:52,920
Speaker 2: Go for the and a terrarium left mysteriously on a

1073
00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:57,239
Speaker 2: doorstep that raises some questions for this person and their

1074
00:55:57,320 --> 00:55:58,520
Speaker 2: life is a little more exciting.

1075
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,239
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. But don't leave it in with the where

1076
00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 3: a door opens out just shatters. That's more questions. Molly,

1077
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 3: you have your answer. Good luck and congratulations on graduating.

1078
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:14,359
Speaker 3: Kurb Will you help me answer one more question? Yeah,

1079
00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 3: of course.

1080
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:15,839
Speaker 2: Let's see here.

1081
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:22,560
Speaker 3: I love how contorted your face becomes. It's as if

1082
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:27,120
Speaker 3: using the computer is a is some sort you have

1083
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:31,920
Speaker 3: to solve complicated riddles every time you just look at

1084
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:36,440
Speaker 3: I'm assuming you've placed these things together somewhere in preparation

1085
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:37,200
Speaker 3: for the podcast.

1086
00:56:37,239 --> 00:56:41,799
Speaker 2: You have really overestimated any of my planning abilities.

1087
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:48,280
Speaker 3: You are hunting and pecking across multiple social media platforms.

1088
00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:52,080
Speaker 2: Well, the truth is, I'm in a chat room right

1089
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:55,040
Speaker 2: now and I'm just I'm in all caps saying does

1090
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 2: anyone have gift questions? Please? I'm recording a podcasts I

1091
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:02,160
Speaker 2: need questions. No this part of the podcast. I probably

1092
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:04,239
Speaker 2: could do a better job of just being prepared, and

1093
00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 2: I don't know why I'm not. I just hop into

1094
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:08,919
Speaker 2: this Google docs that's like eighty pages long and start

1095
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:12,879
Speaker 2: looking for questions. Not a great method, this one, says

1096
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 2: Bridger and Lovely guest. My best friend of almost fifteen

1097
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:19,400
Speaker 2: years is getting married this October, and I'm at a

1098
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:21,560
Speaker 2: loss for what to get them as a wedding gift.

1099
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:23,680
Speaker 2: I've never had to buy a wedding gift before, but

1100
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 2: I feel like just getting something off the registry wouldn't

1101
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:28,760
Speaker 2: quite cut it. Since I've known her for so long,

1102
00:57:29,360 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 2: What's a gift that they would love that is a

1103
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:34,240
Speaker 2: little more special than whatever's on the registry. They've lived

1104
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:37,440
Speaker 2: together for a few years now, have multiple pets like

1105
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:41,880
Speaker 2: country music, football, the beach and partying. Thanks in advance

1106
00:57:41,920 --> 00:57:44,440
Speaker 2: for the wisdom, and that's from Jamie k. So Jamie

1107
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 2: has given us some details here. The wedding one is

1108
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:49,960
Speaker 2: a complicated one because you know, you have that whole

1109
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:52,920
Speaker 2: registry of things that they obviously need and want, But

1110
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:54,800
Speaker 2: when you've known someone that long, you do want it

1111
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:58,240
Speaker 2: to be a little more personal. I'm not married. I've

1112
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 2: never had a wedding, Kurt, what did you like getting

1113
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:01,800
Speaker 2: for your wedding?

1114
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:09,439
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know if I liked any

1115
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:10,760
Speaker 3: of it, do you know what I mean? Like all

1116
00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 3: of it seemed to me to be things that were

1117
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:19,120
Speaker 3: like necessary for living further into adulthood. You know, plates

1118
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:23,360
Speaker 3: and glasses and spoons, measuring cups, those sort of things.

1119
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:26,760
Speaker 3: They're all just like stuff that are it is required

1120
00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 3: and we use all the time. But I don't like

1121
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:33,520
Speaker 3: it's nothing. I'm like, I got a double serving dish.

1122
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:38,040
Speaker 3: It's got two little sections in it, you know, So

1123
00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:42,360
Speaker 3: I can't I can't say that. I do know that

1124
00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:49,040
Speaker 3: when my daughter was born, Scottie bought us a kid carrier,

1125
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:51,280
Speaker 3: Like it was it's a backpack that a kid can

1126
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:51,480
Speaker 3: go in.

1127
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:53,640
Speaker 2: That idea that's so useful.

1128
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:58,480
Speaker 3: It's so great and that that was always like that's

1129
00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:03,520
Speaker 3: probably the best, like you know present. But if they're not,

1130
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:06,160
Speaker 3: they're just getting it's it's crazy to jump right to

1131
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:06,960
Speaker 3: that for the wedding.

1132
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:12,560
Speaker 2: Get them a carriage and what do you put a

1133
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:17,000
Speaker 2: baby in a baby carriage stroller? I'm looking for the

1134
00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 2: words perambulator. They like country music, they like partying. I mean,

1135
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:27,520
Speaker 2: these are wild people. We're talking about the outdoors.

1136
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:28,480
Speaker 3: They like the outdoors.

1137
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:31,920
Speaker 2: They like going to the beach, like going to the beach,

1138
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 2: and they have multiple pets. I'm almost wondering, so there's

1139
00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:38,520
Speaker 2: something that allows you to take your pets to the

1140
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:41,040
Speaker 2: beach or is they're like you find a fancy dog

1141
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:43,600
Speaker 2: daycare that you can get a gift card to which

1142
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:45,520
Speaker 2: will allow them to go to the beach without having

1143
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:47,080
Speaker 2: to worry about the pets all day.

1144
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:51,480
Speaker 3: I have I have a pitch on a package that

1145
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 3: they could put together. Let's hear this, Okay, they have

1146
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:57,840
Speaker 3: these beach blankets. So beach blanket is just one part

1147
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:00,720
Speaker 3: of it. It's a beach blanket that you put down,

1148
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:03,040
Speaker 3: it's weighted, You put sand in the little pockets and

1149
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:06,240
Speaker 3: then if you drop sand on it, the sand. The

1150
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:09,640
Speaker 3: way the blankets made, the sand goes through it, so

1151
01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:12,120
Speaker 3: you never have sand on your beach blanket. So you

1152
01:00:12,160 --> 01:00:14,640
Speaker 3: get it's a nice kind of expensive. You get one

1153
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:17,680
Speaker 3: of those, and then you get a shade that's an

1154
01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:21,960
Speaker 3: inflatable shade that is inflated by the wind from the ocean,

1155
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:24,720
Speaker 3: and so it's like it gets put up in three

1156
01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:27,520
Speaker 3: seconds and then you just crunch it back down. And

1157
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:30,920
Speaker 3: then you get an inflatable stand up paddle board that

1158
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,840
Speaker 3: can be like broken down and like actually like put

1159
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:34,800
Speaker 3: into a backpack.

1160
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:36,560
Speaker 2: That is a fantastic idea.

1161
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:38,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, so then you go to the beach. You got

1162
01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:41,040
Speaker 3: all your shit, and the inflatable paddle board is going

1163
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:43,320
Speaker 3: to probably run you a lot, but the other stuff

1164
01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:45,720
Speaker 3: is going to be affordable. Get them a nice cooler

1165
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:50,240
Speaker 3: there you go, yet get them expensive? YETI cooler that

1166
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:51,240
Speaker 3: who knew?

1167
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:53,440
Speaker 2: Get them? Maybe a let's just set up a party

1168
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:56,400
Speaker 2: at the beach. Let's uh, did it goes to the beach?

1169
01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:57,160
Speaker 4: No?

1170
01:00:57,280 --> 01:00:58,760
Speaker 2: I don't think youdget ever went to the beach. I

1171
01:00:58,760 --> 01:01:02,720
Speaker 2: think she went to why no one has any idea

1172
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:06,880
Speaker 2: what I'm talking about. No, I think a beach situation

1173
01:01:07,040 --> 01:01:08,680
Speaker 2: is a very good idea. We don't have a budget,

1174
01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:14,160
Speaker 2: I mean buy I'm a ski boat. Look, when you

1175
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:16,720
Speaker 2: don't give me a budget, I'm all going for the

1176
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:20,840
Speaker 2: How about a place on the shore. We're gonna buzz

1177
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:26,880
Speaker 2: aldron this. No, I think we've got Jamie. You've got

1178
01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:30,520
Speaker 2: an excellent beach package there, country music. Get them some

1179
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 2: tickets to a concert. Everyone's desperate to go to a concert,

1180
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:35,360
Speaker 2: and they will be able to if they're vaccinated. In

1181
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:41,280
Speaker 2: the fall, we're moving. We're done, We're done answering questions.

1182
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:45,600
Speaker 2: I feel like we did an excellent job and no

1183
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:49,320
Speaker 2: one can say anything negative about that, and that's all

1184
01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:50,080
Speaker 2: that matters.

1185
01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:51,640
Speaker 3: Kurt.

1186
01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:53,600
Speaker 2: This gift you gave me is one of the most

1187
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 2: special gifts I've received on this podcast. You actually went

1188
01:01:57,040 --> 01:02:00,560
Speaker 2: on a journey. I mean, it's incredible. I've learned. It

1189
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:03,920
Speaker 2: just feels like I now have a special aura in

1190
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:04,480
Speaker 2: my home.

1191
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:08,880
Speaker 3: So I primarily was excited for it because, you know,

1192
01:02:09,360 --> 01:02:12,240
Speaker 3: for people who don't know when you do this podcast,

1193
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:15,800
Speaker 3: Bridger sends you an email and it lists everything that's

1194
01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:18,280
Speaker 3: been given to him and by what guest, So you

1195
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:20,640
Speaker 3: get a sense of like what are people bringing? And

1196
01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:23,160
Speaker 3: I just wanted on there for it to say zone

1197
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:26,760
Speaker 3: of immaterial pictorial sensibility. So people are like, what the

1198
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:32,080
Speaker 3: fuck is that? What the fuck did Brown Oler bring him? Well, the.

1199
01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 2: It's too bad, Kurt, because I'm going to put Kurt

1200
01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:42,880
Speaker 2: brought me a really expensive oven mitt. No, so your

1201
01:02:42,960 --> 01:02:46,960
Speaker 2: little trick has failed. No one will. This podcast will

1202
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:49,000
Speaker 2: not be released to the public. I'm going to edit

1203
01:02:49,080 --> 01:02:52,640
Speaker 2: out all of the gift portion of it and it'll

1204
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:53,680
Speaker 2: remain a mystery.

1205
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:54,720
Speaker 3: So too bad.

1206
01:02:56,280 --> 01:02:58,840
Speaker 2: No, it's absolutely wonderful and I'm through. I mean, it's

1207
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:02,760
Speaker 2: you know, this is some real deep, thoughtful gift giving

1208
01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:05,720
Speaker 2: and people need to look at this and emulate Kurt.

1209
01:03:06,280 --> 01:03:08,920
Speaker 2: That's the you want to give something special, something that

1210
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:12,480
Speaker 2: shocks and amazes, and then you put it in a

1211
01:03:12,720 --> 01:03:15,280
Speaker 2: like a wrapped bag and have them unwrap it in

1212
01:03:15,320 --> 01:03:17,120
Speaker 2: front of you. I mean, it's the whole thing has

1213
01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:18,520
Speaker 2: been dazzling.

1214
01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:21,560
Speaker 3: Thank you very much, Thank you for having me.

1215
01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:24,439
Speaker 2: This is the end of the podcast, and so now

1216
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:26,600
Speaker 2: we'll wind it up. Do you wind it up? You

1217
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:29,480
Speaker 2: wind it down? We're going to wind down the podcast.

1218
01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:33,280
Speaker 2: I've brought a very chaotic energy today and I want

1219
01:03:33,280 --> 01:03:36,720
Speaker 2: to apologize to everyone involved. This is what happens when

1220
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:38,080
Speaker 2: you don't manage your time correctly.

1221
01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:41,960
Speaker 3: I didn't. I did not feel that it was chaotic

1222
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:45,080
Speaker 3: in any way. Bridger, I think you're being hard on yourself.

1223
01:03:45,320 --> 01:03:47,600
Speaker 2: Well, that's all we can do is just be as

1224
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:50,880
Speaker 2: hard as possible on ourselves at all times. I know

1225
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:54,000
Speaker 2: that that is kind of a you know, just good mentally.

1226
01:03:54,160 --> 01:03:57,800
Speaker 2: So everybody be as difficult on yourself as possible today.

1227
01:03:58,040 --> 01:04:02,960
Speaker 2: Don't forgive yourself for anything. And I'm gonna let you

1228
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:05,120
Speaker 2: go now so you can manage your time better than me.

1229
01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:12,760
Speaker 2: All my love, take care. End of podcast. I said,

1230
01:04:12,760 --> 01:04:16,040
Speaker 2: No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's engineered by

1231
01:04:16,080 --> 01:04:18,960
Speaker 2: our dear friend Annalise Nelson and the theme song is

1232
01:04:18,960 --> 01:04:22,640
Speaker 2: by miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show

1233
01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:26,520
Speaker 2: on Instagram at I said No Gifts. That's where you're

1234
01:04:26,560 --> 01:04:29,040
Speaker 2: going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting.

1235
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:33,160
Speaker 2: Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever you

1236
01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:35,840
Speaker 2: found me, and why not leave a review while you're there.

1237
01:04:35,880 --> 01:04:38,280
Speaker 2: It's really the least you could do. And if you're

1238
01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:42,080
Speaker 2: interested in advertising on the show, go to midroll dot

1239
01:04:42,120 --> 01:04:43,560
Speaker 2: com slash ads.

1240
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:51,920
Speaker 1: Well I invit did you hear Funa man myself perfectly clear.

1241
01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:54,520
Speaker 1: But you're a guest to Ma.

1242
01:04:57,400 --> 01:05:03,440
Speaker 4: You gotta come to me empty, And I said, no, guest,

1243
01:05:03,760 --> 01:05:10,720
Speaker 4: your presence is presents enough. I already had too much stuff,

1244
01:05:11,320 --> 01:05:11,840
Speaker 4: So how do

1245
01:05:12,040 --> 01:05:14,440
Speaker 1: You dare to surbey me?