WEBVTT - We Are Not Ready For This 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:03.640 This is He Said a Yah d Ho with Eric 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:10.160 Winter and Rosalind Fantas. Okay, welcome back to another episode 0:00:10.160 --> 0:00:13.239 of He Said a Ya d Ho. Hey, Hello, he 0:00:13.440 --> 0:00:18.680 made it into February. Now Valentine Valentine's is coming up. Listen, 0:00:18.680 --> 0:00:21.280 We're gonna do an episode talking a little bit about 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:25.840 kids in Valentine's Hoela is getting into that that age 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:28.000 were actually started in sixth grade where people were talking 0:00:28.000 --> 0:00:30.080 about ask so and so to be your Valentine. It 0:00:30.120 --> 0:00:32.760 started in sixth grade and now I'm a little concerned 0:00:32.760 --> 0:00:34.839 it's gonna be a lot of heavy pressure. Yeah, in 0:00:34.920 --> 0:00:38.000 seventh grade. Do you remember being asked to be someone's 0:00:38.080 --> 0:00:43.400 Valentine in like junior high? In junior high, yes, somebody 0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:49.000 asked you. Did you accept That's not that's a too 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:49.560 long of a pause. 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:52.040 No, no, no, not really boys, but it wasn't. It 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:54.480 wasn't like being my Valentine. Let's be a boyfriend and girlfriend. 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:54.840 You know. 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:57.680 It's just that they they gave you a little Valentine. 0:00:57.920 --> 0:01:00.640 Correct you in you in that moment? 0:01:00.680 --> 0:01:04.920 Nothing, You're like, so you told that you have butterflies, 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:09.640 you know, in your stomach because the special Yes. 0:01:09.560 --> 0:01:11.839 And I mean I mean I was already you weren't 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:12.759 dating in junior high. 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:16.360 Junior high is seventh and eighth. Yeah, you didn't like 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:19.440 a steady person. No, I did, and I think I did. 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:22.080 You just had like a proper Valentine in junior high 0:01:22.080 --> 0:01:24.800 where I was, you know, giving a giving flowers or 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:25.440 can So you. 0:01:25.319 --> 0:01:29.200 Had a proper, like a proper steady girlfriend. Yeah, in 0:01:29.319 --> 0:01:33.840 seventh grade, yeah or eighth grade, both same person. 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:38.920 No, I had my first kiss in seventh grade, as 0:01:39.000 --> 0:01:42.640 I did. I did, I remember. 0:01:42.480 --> 0:01:45.240 But like like full of makeup, like a tong or 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:47.680 like a kid. 0:01:47.800 --> 0:01:50.520 No, like yeah, going trying to go at it and 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:52.720 a kiss. I remember like scraping on the braces and 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:53.840 being like, oh that felt weird. 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:54.800 That's terrible. 0:01:54.960 --> 0:01:57.200 Yeah it was, it was, but listen, it was it was. 0:01:57.240 --> 0:01:58.200 She was a sweet girl. She was. 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:00.400 I remember the first time somebody showed a kissed me 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:04.640 and and the saliva was very, very smelly, and so 0:02:04.920 --> 0:02:07.520 I know I still have that that. I can't even 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:09.400 I can still smell it that. I was like, oh 0:02:09.520 --> 0:02:12.360 my god, like very strong. It wasn't even bad breath, 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:15.480 it was just the saliva was very strong. And I 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:17.280 was like, I don't think I like this ash all. 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:19.800 That's rough. That's a rough start. Do you think Sabella 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:22.359 is going to have I know there's a couple of 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:24.639 boys that she has been told by others have a 0:02:24.720 --> 0:02:27.280 crush on her. I know she has, I wouldn't say. 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:28.920 I asked her about a couple of these like quote 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:31.280 unquote crushes that she says she has. She's like, that's true, 0:02:31.560 --> 0:02:33.480 but she's like, we're not gonna say, not really crush. 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:35.760 She said, not really crushing. I think they're cute, and. 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:38.360 They're really different, actually different ethnicities. 0:02:38.440 --> 0:02:40.320 I think they're cute, but she said, not like a crush. 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:41.919 She's like, not hard, corgeous. 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:45.440 One of one of them is taken by one of 0:02:45.520 --> 0:02:47.560 her dear friends. And I was like, Sabbie, please. 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:50.239 Do not get in dear friends. But just like she 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:53.880 likes the other person. But and she didn't say I have, 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:56.040 like I want to go after she said she said, 0:02:56.040 --> 0:02:56.840 the boy's cute. 0:02:56.639 --> 0:02:58.320 But it was It was a good moment for me 0:02:59.480 --> 0:03:02.120 to teach a lesson about listen, if the kid is 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:06.480 dating a girl that is friendly with you, you know, 0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:08.359 don't don't even look that way. 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:10.280 Yeah, what do I mean? 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:12.520 And we had a whole conversation about some of these. 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:14.639 Girls already, and I like, I get it because I 0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:16.400 started that. We just talked about at that age, like 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:18.680 are going on quote unquote little dates like they're going 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:20.560 to the mall with the boy and all that, and 0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:23.919 Sebbe has not been on a date, Sabbie has not 0:03:24.000 --> 0:03:25.799 been on a date. And I'm sorry, I don't think 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:27.560 I would be fully into that, like going to the 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:30.000 mall with the boy by themselves, like and being dropped off. 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:32.520 No way, No that the parents stays around. 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:34.840 I don't know what these kids, if that's the case, 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:36.800 going to be around. I don't think it's going to 0:03:36.840 --> 0:03:38.920 be happening. I'm not. I don't think we're letting that happen. 0:03:40.800 --> 0:03:42.560 I just can't see you be at a Nike store. 0:03:42.560 --> 0:03:44.520 I'm going to be at a Norse drum right sitting 0:03:44.600 --> 0:03:47.119 down overlooking the Nike the Nike store. 0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:48.880 Do you think and I mean, I know my answer 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:50.680 as a guy, but do you think it'll be different 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:54.160 for Dylan? Like are you going to be more protective? 0:03:54.160 --> 0:03:55.920 Are you gonna be protective of Dylan as well about 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:58.400 him dating? Or you think there's more leniency because he's 0:03:58.400 --> 0:03:59.720 a boy that you. I. 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:04.040 I think I'm going to be very protective, but there's 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:07.360 an element of being more lenient. Yeah, because it's your boy. 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:10.720 It's your boy. You know. My I grew up with 0:04:10.800 --> 0:04:14.680 the philosophy, you know, culturally and because my parents I 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:16.680 have I have three brothers, so it was so cool, 0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:19.920 Like my father was all about them going out hooking 0:04:20.000 --> 0:04:21.440 up with girls. You know, it was like it was 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:23.720 a symbol of like, yeah, I have a matcha. You know, 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:26.840 it was like a thing with me that and then 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:29.400 I paid a price because with me was completely the opposite. 0:04:29.440 --> 0:04:32.720 You know. I was so like my mom was all. 0:04:32.720 --> 0:04:34.160 Over me, you know, all over me. 0:04:34.600 --> 0:04:36.800 There's a double standard, for sure, I think there is. 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:39.240 I'll be less stressed if Dylan says like, oh I 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:41.000 got a crush on a girl, like, oh cool, who's 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:42.640 the girl? I'll be way more into it than Sabella 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:45.800 telling me, don't be getting like egging it on my 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:47.920 biggest thing. And I've already started this in a little 0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:50.760 ways with Dylan. With just Sabella, it's like treating a 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:53.480 girl like a gentleman, like I'm trying to make him 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:56.440 understand even now, you know, ladies first, let Dylan let 0:04:56.520 --> 0:04:59.360 Sebbie go in the door first. Dylan. A couple of 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:01.680 times I did it. He's like why. I'm like, because 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:03.920 ladies should enter first day open the door. 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:04.800 She continue doing that. 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:06.640 And I'm trying. He still doesn't understand. He's like, well, 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:08.120 I don't want her to go first, and I'm like, 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:10.680 just let her go first, Like you know, I'm trying 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:14.360 to teach that principle. And I want him to be 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:17.680 incredibly respectful, and I think we're not going to have 0:05:17.720 --> 0:05:19.880 a problem with that. He's such a shy and bit 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:22.720 reserved kid. I don't see him being like pushy on 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:25.040 anybody like that. But I want to make sure he 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:26.880 understands the concept of treating a woman. 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:28.320 I had such a thing with Sabella. 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:28.599 Guys. 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:31.920 We took them to like dates, like it was mommy 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:35.880 and daughter date and Daddy and Sun date. And it 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:38.480 was the same night. I took Sabella to a restaurant 0:05:38.520 --> 0:05:41.080 and then he took Dylan too another restaurant. They ended 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:44.440 up crushing our start by they stopped by a dinner. 0:05:44.440 --> 0:05:46.360 We're like, what are you doing here? Anyways? And it 0:05:46.440 --> 0:05:49.160 was an opportunity for me to connect with Sabbi and 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:51.280 just hang out as a mom, you know, because we 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:52.720 don't get to do it often because we always go 0:05:52.760 --> 0:05:54.200 out as a family. When we'll go to dinner is 0:05:54.279 --> 0:05:57.080 the four of us. So we're going to implement this thing. 0:05:57.120 --> 0:05:58.680 And it was so cute because I said, you know, 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:00.839 the whole night we're going to do. I'll do a question. 0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:02.880 Do you do a question, I'll do a question. So 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:05.520 it was a lot of back and forth at sometimes 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:07.040 it got a little bit uncomfortable and she's like, I 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:10.160 funk about it, you know, that kind of thing. But 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:12.560 she said something at one point that it I just 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:16.560 went right flag and I had a whole speech because 0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:19.200 I don't know. She was saying something about dating somebody 0:06:19.279 --> 0:06:21.040 and when I have a boyfriend orr husband or something. 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:24.640 She said something about like what I'm going to do 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:27.280 what he tells me or something like that. 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:31.600 Really, and I was like, okay, doesn't strike me as that. 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:34.440 It was something that it really bothered me. And that's 0:06:34.480 --> 0:06:37.200 how the conversation about my ex came up, because when 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:39.560 we came you came in, she was like, Mom, it's 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:41.720 talking to me about her ex husband. And then you 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:44.360 were like really, and that would I was. I gave 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:49.400 her a specific example for her to understand snap out 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:51.600 of that mentality of I'm going to do what I'm 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:54.200 told right, because I said to her, listen, this happened 0:06:54.200 --> 0:06:56.000 to me, and it was so valuable. And to this 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:58.920 day I think about it because it bothers me because 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:00.880 I didn't have this cert of to be like, you 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:04.040 know what, even though my God knew it was unnecessary 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:06.520 and the advice he was giving me was so wrong. 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:09.760 I didn't pay attention to my instincts and I went 0:07:10.080 --> 0:07:13.040 and I went and did it. I pay the price, 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:14.800 and I'm going to be fifty two years old and 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:16.680 I still think about it. So I said to her, 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:19.960 I want you to never go through this, and you're 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:21.920 going to have to learn on your own. But I'm 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:24.200 going to give you a very specific example, Sabella, because 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:26.560 by me just telling you don't do that because it's 0:07:26.600 --> 0:07:28.800 not good, you're independent, you're you know, I'm going to 0:07:28.840 --> 0:07:31.200 give you an example that happened to your mom, so 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:34.000 you break the cycle. And I gave her the example 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:36.480 and she was kind of like navigating it, you know, 0:07:36.680 --> 0:07:40.560 kind of like oh wow, and what happened and how 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:41.920 did you did you say something? 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:42.160 You know? 0:07:42.240 --> 0:07:44.840 And then I was able to engage in a whole conversation. 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:47.880 But I think it's really important at her age. You know, 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:51.680 she's developing. If you talk to Sabella's about Sabella doesn't 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:53.520 think like a little girl anymo. Szabella's like a woman, 0:07:53.880 --> 0:07:56.440 you know. Like this morning, I'm doing the podcast and 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:58.040 I'm doing a little bit of makeup and she said, 0:07:58.040 --> 0:08:00.960 you're not gonna curl your lashness And I was like, oh, 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:03.120 do you call yours? And she's like yeah, and they 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:05.760 don't do Masscara. So I wanted her to feel important 0:08:05.800 --> 0:08:07.720 and I said, you know what, can you bring it? 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:08.520 And can you do it to me? 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:08.760 Oh? 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:09.840 I don't. I don't want to do it to young 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:11.240 We don't do it to me. I see. She came 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:13.600 over and she felt so adult that she came to 0:08:13.680 --> 0:08:15.560 mommy and she curled my lashes. 0:08:15.680 --> 0:08:15.840 You know. 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:17.880 But the way she's talking to me is like she's 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:20.680 thinking that she's teaching me about makeup. And I was like, 0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:21.560 this is really fun I. 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:32.520 Love that this is funny. Well, it's interesting because our 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:35.760 producers put together some questions that you would ask your 0:08:35.880 --> 0:08:39.360 kids about dating, and it sounds like you did a 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:41.960 pretty good job. You don't ask your team these things. 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:44.199 But it's like you'd ask, you know, questions like what 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:47.400 are your friends dating relationships? Like, you know, asking what 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:52.160 what they're hearing from their friends about a relationship. What 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:54.880 kind of a person would you date? Would you kind 0:08:54.920 --> 0:08:56.960 of have had that bit of a conversation with her 0:08:57.000 --> 0:09:00.600 about type and stuff like that. How would you feel 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:02.720 if a boyfriend or a girlfriend asked you to stop 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:06.600 being friends with someone? Okay, that's a tough one. That's 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:09.000 a good question, and it happens a lot. Yeah, that 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:11.600 happens a lot, for sure. For sure. Do you think 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:14.839 jealousy is a sign of love? Oh my goodness, it's 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:18.319 a good question. That's actually a listen. That's a really 0:09:18.520 --> 0:09:21.600 tricky answer because I don't think it's a flat out 0:09:22.200 --> 0:09:27.719 yes or no. I think a hint of jealousy is 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:31.440 a positive thing because it shows you care. The word 0:09:31.679 --> 0:09:37.559 jealous can be overly used as a negative because it 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:39.640 can be so harsh, like they're jealous it just drives 0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:43.400 me crazy. But a little hint of jealousy is also 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:46.600 an ounce of caring, because if someone's not jealous at all, 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:49.240 if they don't care what you're doing or who you're 0:09:49.240 --> 0:09:52.600 around or whatever, doesn't that kind of feel weird too? 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:55.240 But some people are like that though. 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:57.719 Yeah, but don't you think I have friends that are like, 0:09:57.720 --> 0:10:00.960 I'm not jealous at all. Something will make them jumous, 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:03.240 you know what I mean? Like, I don't my wife 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:05.280 do whatever she wants. Really the problem with. 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:08.800 Girls, and it happened to me again going back to 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:12.360 that relationship, is when you're dealing with somebody that has 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:16.559 more life experience than you and you just don't have 0:10:16.640 --> 0:10:21.560 the maturity or the resources to understand what's really going on. Yeah, 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:26.880 girls ninety nine percent of the time will relate, Oh, 0:10:26.960 --> 0:10:30.680 he's he's so jealousus, he's protecting me, he's a try 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:33.079 exactly is he's so jealous and he's going to defend me. 0:10:33.480 --> 0:10:35.080 And that's the way we take it. If the guy 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:38.080 is a handful and it's doing things that are actually toxic, 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:42.800 but if they're able to gaslight you into thinking I'm 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:44.720 doing this because I love you, and I just love 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:46.319 you so much and I care about you so much. 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:49.160 I can obear that, you know, anybody else looking at you. 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:53.040 You take it as a compliment until it gets ugly, 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:55.319 and that that's when you realize, well that was not. 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:59.840 Actually, that's also severe jealousy too, Like that's a strong 0:11:00.600 --> 0:11:01.839 A lot of women. 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:07.720 Attract correct find a very attractive, especially if they come 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:11.400 from upbringing that the dad. 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:13.079 Yeah, where that's all they know? 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:14.320 Normalize that behavior. 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:17.559 Sure, last question is what do you think a healthy 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:21.360 relationship is and looks like to you? So that's a 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:23.480 good question to ask because then you could get their 0:11:23.559 --> 0:11:25.679 definition of what they think and a lot I'm not 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:27.320 gonna I'm not gonna lie, And I think a lot 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:29.000 of listeners know this. These kids learn it not just 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:30.800 from friends, but they're learning it from pop culture. They're 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:33.199 learning it from TV shows from Sabella said it to 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:35.040 me one time, She's like, why can't I just learn 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:37.280 about dating from the TV shows and movies I watch? 0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:39.280 She said that, yeah to me one time, I said, 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:41.760 you're not going to learn that's the worst example, because 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:44.800 they're painting a picture that's not always true and sometimes 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:48.880 it's you know, fabricated to feel or look like something 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:51.360 that's the script. Yeah, and sometimes it's for the better 0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:53.760 or worse, you know what I mean. So you gotta 0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:56.560 learn from the parents now, But what if they. 0:11:56.480 --> 0:12:02.760 Don't have a good, solid parenting, Well, then that. 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:05.040 Might be the only option. But then do you got 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:07.200 to hope that they're finding it with the right content? 0:12:08.360 --> 0:12:10.959 You know what I mean? Content's tricky like that. Now, 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:14.760 these are some common questions teens ask parents about dating. 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:19.040 How would you handle these if you get asked them? One? 0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:22.520 How long should I be dating someone before we are exclusive? 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:24.000 What do you think? 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:25.160 Three months? 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:27.800 That's a good number. I actually probably agree with you 0:12:28.240 --> 0:12:30.960 if at that age, in particular, if I was, if 0:12:31.000 --> 0:12:33.320 I was quote unquote dating somebody like for three months, 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:35.760 I feel like i'm pretty much, you know, staying with 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:38.720 that person. Yeah, I'm with you. When is it okay 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:41.520 to go on a one on one date and leave 0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:45.559 the group? Hangs? What do you mean go on a 0:12:45.600 --> 0:12:46.840 one on one proper date. 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:48.880 At what age? 0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:51.360 Yeah? I don't think you even get into something like 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:54.240 that to your one of the kids driving so sixteen, 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:56.280 like if a parent's not around and it's an actual date, 0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:58.560 like going to a movie theater. Now, I had one 0:12:58.600 --> 0:13:00.720 on one dates, probably where my mom drop me off, 0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:03.319 but it was ever one on one. When I was 0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:06.280 in junior high. We'd all go to the movies, we'd 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:09.000 have a girlfriend. Everybody's kind of holding hands everybody's got 0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:11.400 like double dates and all that, right, and then you 0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:14.200 go to like dinner or something, or we'd walk around 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:16.280 the mall, or we'd like be holding hands. 0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:19.400 But I am not ready for this. I am gonna 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:24.920 hate it holding hands and if I feel like the 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:28.000 guy is a bit of a handful or has I'm 0:13:28.040 --> 0:13:30.680 gonna be so direct with these kids, like I'm gonna 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:32.120 be brutal. I think they're gonna be scared of me. 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:34.079 I'm gonna do it with love because I'm gonna lead 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:37.000 with love, and I want them to think that we're 0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:39.720 just cool parents. But I am going to be incredibly 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:42.080 transparent and I'm gonna just the good thing. 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:44.520 About you that I'm actually very happy about is even 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:47.480 when you lead with love, there's an intensity in your 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:49.959 voice that's gonna come out and scare the s out 0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:55.679 of these kids. That's so sad. You're gonna be good. 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:57.520 You're gonna do that thing where like your eyelids drop 0:13:57.559 --> 0:13:59.360 a little bit, I always tell you, and then you're 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:01.599 gonna have a conversation with him with their eyelids love, Like, 0:14:02.080 --> 0:14:05.760 I really care about you, guys, But that's take all 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:06.240 of you out. 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:08.320 No I will know because I'm gonna say, listen. 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:10.480 I'm gonna do this with nothing but already dropping. 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:12.679 I don't know if I know how to do it 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:15.360 without it, because I'm gonna I promise he's gonna be 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:17.440 with a lot of charisma and love, but it's gonna 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:17.840 be serious. 0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:19.360 Exactly right are going to be. 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:23.040 However the kid decides to react to it, then I'll 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:25.000 do a check mark or I'll be like Sabbie, you're 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:28.080 gonna be able to like she's gonna be mortified, but 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:32.200 I'm not going to allow anybody to come into my house, 0:14:32.600 --> 0:14:38.240 my my in Torno with bad intentions. And listen, there's 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:39.840 an element that we have gonna We're gonna have no 0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:42.600 control because we don't know who she's bringing through that door. 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:45.760 But I want to make sure that that they know 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:46.200 the law. 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:50.680 It's gonna be rough. How do I know if he 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:54.800 or she, uh they are are worth my time to date? 0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:58.400 How do we tell Dylan or Sevi that that if 0:14:58.440 --> 0:14:59.920 they ask us? You know, how do I know that 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:01.000 person's worth my time? 0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:07.800 I think people reveal themselves pretty fast. So if she 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:10.800 if the kid is being kind of like flirty with 0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:15.120 her friends, or if she's seeing flirty behavior. Besides with her, 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:22.040 that's a sign. Yeah, yes, gentlemen, somebody does doesn't rush 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:24.200 somebody that is not already giving her problems with if 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:26.280 she wants to use a crop top and already commenting 0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:27.960 on the way she's dressing or the way she's. 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:31.280 Applying making put on the physical or immediately trying. 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:33.640 To touch exactly like my father used to say, holding 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:36.160 hands is okay, Well, the second he touches your thigh 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:39.240 by intentions. So I'm going to tell her the second 0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:41.440 he touches your thigh, you know that that's going to continue. 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:47.600 The second touches your thigh, he's gonna want to climb 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:49.760 that hand up and you're gonna have to just slap 0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:50.680 the heck out of that. 0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:52.680 But she's gonna be that. 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:54.360 But what if I But what if I want to? 0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:56.280 What if I wanted to keep climbing? And that's Those 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:58.840 are the conversations that we're gonna have to navigate. And 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:04.280 another example is like, mom, Sebbie, just look at his family. 0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:05.960 You know, the way he treats his mom. 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:09.240 Look exactly what how what is the relationship with mom 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:12.160 and dad? Is it a broken family? 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:12.480 Like? 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:15.120 How many siblings? How? How does he speak to the siblings, 0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:17.360 you know, like, there's so many things that you can 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:21.160 pay attention to to know. And again it's never, it's never, 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:23.840 one hundred percent never, But to give you an indication 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:27.480 if you are wasting your time or not? 0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:31.240 For sure? Now, should I be bothered by p d 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:36.200 A at school? What is appropriate PDAs public display of affection? Okay, 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:39.040 at school? What is the appropriate? 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:41.160 Yeah? 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:42.880 I would agree. Well, listen, you get into high school. 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:47.160 Kids are holding hands, walking room on the bathroom. 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:50.920 They're making it. When I was, if we get a 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:54.920 phone call or an email or a text or a 0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:59.400 note from a teacher or a stubb to the teacher 0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:02.840 or a dean or somebody at school saying that she's 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:06.960 doing some pd A that is making kids uncomfortable, I 0:17:07.080 --> 0:17:07.879 will lose. 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:11.280 In high school, we were holding hands. We'd have arms 0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:15.000 around each other at lunch, hanging out, walking to each 0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:18.000 other's locker, walk into the classroom, kiss goodbye going into 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:20.720 the classroom. We would do that in high school. 0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:24.280 I'm sorry, Well I never did because I never dated 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:25.359 somebody from my high school. 0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:28.560 Too cool, that was too cool. Yeah, we did. 0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:31.199 I was in high school. I was dating a guy 0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:31.800 from college. 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:34.720 I never ever dated anybody from even at prom, and 0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:39.000 all these dances like kids are kissing, hold hands all 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:43.720 the parents we were you find a way for sure. Listen, 0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:45.120 we have a lot on our hands. I'm a little 0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:50.000 nervous about it. This this episode stressed me out. Thank 0:17:50.040 --> 0:17:54.240 you for listening. As always. Squirm over. 0:17:55.920 --> 0:17:58.320 And look at Sybrilla now, and I'm stressed out just 0:17:58.359 --> 0:18:00.480 by looking at her. She's so beautiful and so cool, 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:02.760 and she's an athlete and she walks around like she's like, 0:18:03.400 --> 0:18:05.560 oh my god, I am freaking out. 0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:09.080 Well listen, if you have anything else you want to 0:18:09.119 --> 0:18:09.760 talk to us about it. 0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:12.040 She's a good girl, though she is. I think next job, 0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:12.760 she's a good girl. 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:14.919 Send it to our dms at he said a at 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:17.399