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Speaker 1: Start dot up, not up, Brooklyn Boy, start up, Brooklyn
Speaker 1: buys dot data. They're making noise. Data up episode. This
Speaker 1: is the Brooklyn Boys podcast. On Valentine's Day, We're I'm
Speaker 1: wearing red because I'm that guy today, and I'm wearing
Speaker 1: blue because I'm not that guy. Because you're feeling blue
Speaker 1: now because I don't. I don't own red or is
Speaker 1: it someone you just blue? You don't have any red
Speaker 1: in your closet? No, why Brody? Not one? Ri tasty
Speaker 1: and I have freckles and I looked terrible and red.
Speaker 1: I gotta say that I I don't have any green
Speaker 1: in my So when it comes time for St. Patrick's Day,
Speaker 1: I'm fucked the I chat. I'm a Jets fan, so
Speaker 1: I just wear a Jet shirt or Jets jerseys football Jets,
Speaker 1: not hockey Jets. Right. Oh, Gandhi's in here. Gandy walked in.
Speaker 1: What are you trying to be quiet for? Well, you're not.
Speaker 1: We don't pay you. So do we talk? Start up? Startup?
Speaker 1: We're making noise. We're talking about were the broken boys.
Speaker 1: We make a noise, so make noise with us once
Speaker 1: you talk about we just opened up the show just now.
Speaker 1: About why Brodie's not wearing red? Yeah, because it's Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: I did eat chocolate though, so I feel like I'm good,
Speaker 1: okay here in okay. Um. What do you think about
Speaker 1: couples that dress up at night on in red or
Speaker 1: pink at Valentine's dinner? Because I see a lot of that.
Speaker 1: When I see couples that are dressed the same in general,
Speaker 1: I hate them. I just really hate it. Disney World.
Speaker 1: I've never been, so you know they all wear the
Speaker 1: same T shirt. You don't do that. I don't do that.
Speaker 1: I don't do like, oh, it's the Robinson family trip
Speaker 1: to Disney World. It's you know, it's cute on other people.
Speaker 1: I just wouldn't do it, but you wouldn't. Watching couples
Speaker 1: at Valentine's Day? Why not they out to dinner? They're
Speaker 1: in love, they're not married. I'll tell you that much
Speaker 1: that that ship wears off. Can I ask, as a
Speaker 1: married couple, are you guys into sending nudes or do
Speaker 1: you never do that? Dude? They send clothes First, First
Speaker 1: of all, if I want to stay married, I'm not
Speaker 1: sending a nude of this. Get out of here. She
Speaker 1: already knows if she's working with a Second of all,
Speaker 1: my wife and I am married longer than sexting, so
Speaker 1: we've we don't sext. So you've out sexted sexting, presext
Speaker 1: you presexted. Yeah, we used to send like a beeper pages.
Speaker 1: Oh it's true, like back in the day of so
Speaker 1: back if you had a pager, did you guys used
Speaker 1: to feel her nipples with morse code? Like, okay, it's
Speaker 1: brail you idiots. Sorry, you are dumb as a ship
Speaker 1: with morse code is like a walkie talkie thing. Hey Stevie,
Speaker 1: wonder you're blind me and I'll send help. You know
Speaker 1: what I meant? You know sign language when you hold
Speaker 1: up a sign and hope they say it love and
Speaker 1: I'm already filled filled with hate. I'm love with you.
Speaker 1: It's okay, don't apologize. BacT. When they were beepers and
Speaker 1: you couldn't send a text message, you would send like
Speaker 1: my wife and I would send four or five eight
Speaker 1: to each other, which on the letters of the phone
Speaker 1: was I LU, which was I love you, so I
Speaker 1: would send four or five eight and she'd send back
Speaker 1: four or five eight to and I love you too. Now, Ganda,
Speaker 1: did you did you know about this in the world,
Speaker 1: because I had. I used to spill out boobies b
Speaker 1: O O B I E s. You used to turn
Speaker 1: it's nine zero zero, but you have to turn your
Speaker 1: your page upside down. It's it's the block numbering. You
Speaker 1: could also spell shell oil shell. Yes. No, I'm like, hey, honey,
Speaker 1: shell oil. You know what I'm saying. That pump that gas.
Speaker 1: But you just have to Yeah. I used to have
Speaker 1: numbers also that represented certain things that you want to
Speaker 1: do you on Robin send dudes. No, we don't. I
Speaker 1: don't put my nudes out there because plus I'm afraid.
Speaker 1: I'm very afraid leave your face that. You can always
Speaker 1: deny it, can't. You have like very identifiable marks theory.
Speaker 1: I do have a birthmark. Oh where is it? Do
Speaker 1: you want me to show you? I don't think I
Speaker 1: want to see that. I mean it, I mean, let's
Speaker 1: have a question about birthmarks with Gandhi. But you go first.
Speaker 1: It's in the sensitive spot. But so so someone would
Speaker 1: be able to be like, yeah, that forehead. What is
Speaker 1: the sensor spot? Well, you're the insensitive spot on me, right.
Speaker 1: I have a question. So a birthmark on on a
Speaker 1: on a pasty white guy like me or scary like
Speaker 1: I have a brown like a little like a puzzle
Speaker 1: piece on my on my knee. Yes, but you are brown,
Speaker 1: I am. So would a birthmark be darker or would
Speaker 1: it be a white spot? It depends on the breath pigment.
Speaker 1: It's not a lack of pigment. Typically, sometimes it just
Speaker 1: depends on the brown person. So some people have like,
Speaker 1: well the court addresses you. Okay, okay, my birthmark. See
Speaker 1: this little thing right on the side of my mouth,
Speaker 1: a little scar. That's what color my birthmarks? This is
Speaker 1: a are on my face. That's no thanks. Everyone thinks
Speaker 1: it's something different. It's a chicken pox scar. I go
Speaker 1: with it. It is certainly cooties nice. Yes, so you
Speaker 1: don't have a puzzle piece like Prodie? Where's your puzzle piece? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I still can't figure him out. Look at him. There
Speaker 1: isn't it. I remember showing me that when we first
Speaker 1: met you. Nice legs, You're that's my only redeeming feature.
Speaker 1: Oh and my eyes. I'm trying to think what else
Speaker 1: I have on me? That's like, I guess I have
Speaker 1: like a bruise on an a scar, a permanent scar.
Speaker 1: It's on the right knees. Okay, oh, look, that's the
Speaker 1: only part of my body that can dance. By the way,
Speaker 1: that was your nickname in high school, wasn't it. It
Speaker 1: was so Yeah, So we don't send dudes, but you do.
Speaker 1: I noticed I have a fan of it. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: Ghani sends the nudes. But that begs the question, scary
Speaker 1: you've never sent the nude because I know your girlfriend
Speaker 1: has got How do you know? You're shut up? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you how I know your girlfriend has sent nudes.
Speaker 1: Number one, I know you would appreciate them and your girlfriends.
Speaker 1: Your girlfriend is a very accommodating girlfriend, and she's smoking hot,
Speaker 1: And I feel like, I feel like, if you look
Speaker 1: like your girlfriend, you would send a nude pictures. Are
Speaker 1: you saying if I had the reciprocal I would send
Speaker 1: it and go no need to send one back? Scary
Speaker 1: that I would send like I don't return receipt. I'm
Speaker 1: just really really crazy about that stuff because I just
Speaker 1: feel like, God forbid, my phone gets stolen or something.
Speaker 1: I just don't want it. After Jeff Bezos, do you
Speaker 1: think people are looking to hack your phone? Wait a second,
Speaker 1: asked the question about Jeff Bezos. He's the richest man
Speaker 1: in the world. And by the way, Bill Gates was
Speaker 1: on Stephen Colbert last night at the time of this taping,
Speaker 1: and they introduced him as the second richest man in
Speaker 1: the world, and I felt like, oh, poor bastard that
Speaker 1: used to be the richest. Wait for the divorce. He's
Speaker 1: back on top. No yeah, right, well no, uh well
Speaker 1: yeah because Bezos, no Bezos even cut in half. I
Speaker 1: think he's still number one, right way. Yeah, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: the broken boys in the big show. This is turning
Speaker 1: into the fifteen minute morning show. Is awesome. We were
Speaker 1: just talking about sending news because Scary said he and
Speaker 1: his girlfriend don't and I don't understand it because she
Speaker 1: Mr Recap Danielle took a boobshot of herself today. She
Speaker 1: shut her phone down her shirt and snapped it and
Speaker 1: said that the show. Yeah, Tell is getting aroused because
Speaker 1: he threw fucking shirt and it and then now we
Speaker 1: have to mark the six place. He's like, hey, look
Speaker 1: what I sent to Mr six one seven her man
Speaker 1: who's off to the And so she took her phone
Speaker 1: and angled it so only Danielle could see it and
Speaker 1: scars like, well I can't see it. Look, let do
Speaker 1: you see that ship? Yeah? So what was it? And
Speaker 1: what did you tell him in the text when you
Speaker 1: show um? So what I sent him was he was
Speaker 1: late for something that we were doing, and I was like,
Speaker 1: hurry the funk up, And then I sent him that
Speaker 1: and then guess who got there? Yea, he showed up.
Speaker 1: What were you guys for doing? Going to dinner? I
Speaker 1: was like, hello, sirr, we have reservations, sent him a
Speaker 1: picture of like the menu is something from? That was me? Yeah,
Speaker 1: spicy Indian curry in a hurry. You shouldn't say. You
Speaker 1: should have said curry up, that's gonna curry up. I
Speaker 1: should have done that and say that your girlfriend doesn't
Speaker 1: ever send you anything, No, because I've never said anyone
Speaker 1: let me jog my memory. I have never had any
Speaker 1: relationship in my life ever had anyone send me just
Speaker 1: pictures and say hey, thinking about you, like we sell
Speaker 1: them and I are not together like in um, like
Speaker 1: if I'm away with the show or something, He'll sometimes say, hey,
Speaker 1: send me a little something before I go to you
Speaker 1: go to bed, and then I like, I said, we'll
Speaker 1: do it even at home, Like I'll be upstairs in
Speaker 1: the bedroom and he'll be downstairs working and we'll text
Speaker 1: each other pictures. I love that. I love that you
Speaker 1: scared that your pictures are gonna get out of here.
Speaker 1: And I told Gandhi because I had the cloud. You know,
Speaker 1: I don't care about the cloud. I care about when
Speaker 1: my kid takes my phone and he's like, I delete, delete,
Speaker 1: delete again again again. I'm just I know I'm dating myself.
Speaker 1: But when my girlfriend in college, which he was in college,
Speaker 1: she sent me pictures Garrett here now too. It was
Speaker 1: before digital photos, so she had pictures developed and then
Speaker 1: mailed me the pictures from college. But they were like
Speaker 1: they would like, they were pretty pictures in a nice dress.
Speaker 1: Was like, she's looking really good at that picture. But
Speaker 1: it was was clothing you can't go to like a
Speaker 1: little Kodak little hot. Now back in the day, you
Speaker 1: got a little a little hot and get your picture developed.
Speaker 1: You don't want that pictures, Garrett. Do you and your
Speaker 1: wife send each other nasty fix? Let's not beautiful around
Speaker 1: the room. Dan yelled, do you think either one or both? Yes? Both.
Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna say that Ali has sent Ali
Speaker 1: whose Garrett's wife sent Garrett pictures, but Garrett does not
Speaker 1: send them back at any point in the relationship. This
Speaker 1: is how they're both very good looking. I'm gonna say, yeah,
Speaker 1: they do it. I'm gonna say, yes, both attractive by
Speaker 1: the way, Gret, I'm gonna say because I feel like
Speaker 1: Ali is a little bit on the shy side and
Speaker 1: like not like boom, look at my boobs. I think
Speaker 1: she's very like conservative, and I think Garrett's very respectful,
Speaker 1: and I feel like they do not send pictures to
Speaker 1: each other, and I feel like if they did, they
Speaker 1: wouldn't say it. Right here ahead, winner of guessing how
Speaker 1: he sext to each other is well be right back
Speaker 1: after this. Yeah, yeah, that Garrett. You've never seen a
Speaker 1: d of course, given her the D they have two kids, exactly,
Speaker 1: You've you've never sent a picture. No, she has a
Speaker 1: birthmark that's too identifiable if you're not together and you're
Speaker 1: like thinking about you, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like never, I've never in my life I've sent pictures
Speaker 1: of scary to people. So that comte that I told
Speaker 1: you when we dated it were no digital phone codes.
Speaker 1: That's right, we sent I sent her four or five,
Speaker 1: which was I L you don't remember, welcome to smart peep.
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, smart peep, Welcome to
Speaker 1: smart peep. And then you put your code. All the
Speaker 1: time we spelled boobies and shelled oil and hello this Hello.
Speaker 1: You could do hello. It was like the dirtiest thing
Speaker 1: you could page your text someone. I don't really, you
Speaker 1: really couldn't. There was no like F me now now
Speaker 1: you had to use code with the time numbers. Six
Speaker 1: nine means well, I think we got that. You could
Speaker 1: you like now you could like d t F. You
Speaker 1: could put like a four for the D in your case,
Speaker 1: you like an eight for the day. I know, but
Speaker 1: you could spell out, you know, d T F if
Speaker 1: that was a thing like then, but it wasn't. You
Speaker 1: could say like like I want to you know, F
Speaker 1: you you you'd forgot the letters. I think you guys
Speaker 1: should go home for all Time's day and send your
Speaker 1: ladies some some scandals picks. See what happens, tell us
Speaker 1: how it goes, not gonna happen. I know, maybe that
Speaker 1: my camera my phone automatically shuts off. It would spark
Speaker 1: some I don't know Valentine's Day, she wanted to see it,
Speaker 1: she could see it. I'm much scary, though, I don't
Speaker 1: see scary taking a dick pick of himself. He said, no,
Speaker 1: you'll sold this, Dr fat Laws. Now you can see
Speaker 1: your pans. Now it looks bigger now, right, do you always? Yes? Doctor,
Speaker 1: you gain the optical inch when you exact lose weight,
Speaker 1: you lose likes larger penis filter that you could use. Yeah,
Speaker 1: puke's rainbows. Usually i'd be nervous about what is that? Super?
Speaker 1: Wasn't that your sister's name? Heya, and they call it
Speaker 1: wasn't funny? You're laughing? And of course on the bus
Speaker 1: in school, everyone just like pretty Gaia and like, if
Speaker 1: you know Prea, she is the most timid, shy, sweet
Speaker 1: human being, like absolutely Paia unfortunate. So what were you saying, Garrett? No,
Speaker 1: I just don't see you taking ever, really taking a
Speaker 1: pick like that. Ever. I want you to surprise Robin
Speaker 1: at work. I don't see home or something. Not to
Speaker 1: say that. I don't envision you taking a picture. That's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I'm just saying you in general, I
Speaker 1: can't picture. It's weird. How I even say it'll still
Speaker 1: come out wrong. So it's okay. I just I'm it's
Speaker 1: not who I am, and that's what I'm trying to sing. Also,
Speaker 1: I think that there should be a serious disclaimer here.
Speaker 1: We're talking about sending it to people that you're in
Speaker 1: a relationship with, who have already gone drop on the train,
Speaker 1: which has happened to be repeatedly. I think it's hilarious,
Speaker 1: But also I'm like, oh, you don't know you send
Speaker 1: dick picks around on the train. No, So especially when
Speaker 1: it's somebody you don't know, hello, then they could just
Speaker 1: like throw it out there in I do. I had
Speaker 1: forward immediately, I got Gandhi's garden. There's no there's no
Speaker 1: strubbery your girlfriend. I don't don't. I just I'm embarrassed
Speaker 1: to do it. I can't. I gotta tell you ask?
Speaker 1: Can you? Can you at least send her a text message?
Speaker 1: Worded text message? Would you? What would you say or
Speaker 1: do if I send you a picture of me like
Speaker 1: but but but not send anything? But I'm just curious
Speaker 1: she'd be happy with it. I don't think she would.
Speaker 1: You do you say hey? Funny conversation on the podcast
Speaker 1: today my co workers on the Brooklyn Boys episode seventy three.
Speaker 1: I think we're on I think it's seventy four. They
Speaker 1: did not believe we didn't introduce you. I'll look it up.
Speaker 1: Don't text Unt Thanky. By the way, hold on last
Speaker 1: week we were talking about Gandhi. We're like, oh, guys,
Speaker 1: let Gandhi know what she needs to listen to this episode.
Speaker 1: But then later Gandhi walked in, so we had her
Speaker 1: on the episodes. We're like, you don't need to tell her.
Speaker 1: But people as they were listening, We're tweeting her to listen,
Speaker 1: and then they were like, oh, yeah, too late. We
Speaker 1: heard it too late. So I got two tweets from everyone,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, listen to the Brooklyn Boys. Oh you're
Speaker 1: on the Brooklyn list. You're on the Brooklyn Boys podcast.
Speaker 1: Who's this? What's up? Hey, Brian? What's up? Man? Not much, Fren,
Speaker 1: what's going on? Guys? You texted us and we texted
Speaker 1: you back. You have we have We have a room
Speaker 1: full of people today, buddy. Yeah, So Gandhi's here, Danielle's here,
Speaker 1: and Garrett. None of the full house no, no needson
Speaker 1: to go. Now. Brian has a story about getting free dessert,
Speaker 1: which I have not heard yet because you texted us.
Speaker 1: So what happened? Where are you? Where you from? I'm
Speaker 1: from Lancaster, p A nine on man. Well, thanks for
Speaker 1: checking in with us. Hey, hey, Brian, before you get
Speaker 1: into the free dessert story for Scary, we're talking in
Speaker 1: the room. Uh do you envision Scary sending a picture
Speaker 1: of himself to his girlfriend like a naked a nudy man?
Speaker 1: I don't really think about that, but now I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't see him doing that. You know me, You
Speaker 1: know my personality, you know the kind of person I
Speaker 1: am right, I'm gonna be honest. Knowing your personality, I
Speaker 1: completely thought you would send a deepen we're talking about that.
Speaker 1: I don't see Scary doing that. You're married, yes, I am.
Speaker 1: Would you send that to your wife? A picture of
Speaker 1: Scary penis? She doesn't want to believe me? No, no,
Speaker 1: she wouldn't want that, but she might be interested in mine. Yeah, Scary,
Speaker 1: we're talking what you're saying. Scary Scary didn't believe his
Speaker 1: girlfriend would be into it. So do you do you
Speaker 1: send them back and forth? I don't, but maybe that
Speaker 1: maybe there's something new I should be trying. I don't know.
Speaker 1: He sounds just like Harry Conna Jr. So we're all
Speaker 1: wearing red except for Brody and Gandhi. I'm in my
Speaker 1: best Valentine's Day black woman blue. Yeah, so, Brian, so
Speaker 1: tell us what happened, what went wrong? And where were
Speaker 1: you all? Right? So? I was ordering flowers for for
Speaker 1: my wife for Valentine's Day. This was last week. I
Speaker 1: tried to get you know, the orders in early, and
Speaker 1: the charge of my card was pending for a while.
Speaker 1: Um and then when it did post, it posted us
Speaker 1: double the price. So so so I called. I called
Speaker 1: the flower company up and I spoke to them and
Speaker 1: they had me on hold, and then I actually got
Speaker 1: disconnected and I had to call back and hold for
Speaker 1: another ten minutes. I foindly. I got to speak to
Speaker 1: an associate and I explained to them. I said, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, I got charged double. You know, they apologized
Speaker 1: and they said that they'll fix the charge. But I
Speaker 1: remember what Brodie said, even it's not even you need
Speaker 1: that tattoo. You got your free dessert. Yeah, So I
Speaker 1: told him, I said, I've been inconvenience. I said, I've
Speaker 1: been an inconvenience once by having my checking account on
Speaker 1: balanced by them posting a you know, a double charge,
Speaker 1: plus you had to make this phone call. Your time
Speaker 1: is worth money for exactly. So, so they gave me
Speaker 1: fifty percent off the flowers that originally ordered, and they
Speaker 1: gave me a guaranteed morning delivery, which I just got
Speaker 1: confirmation that my wife received this morning at work. So
Speaker 1: you need to tell me you convinced them that because
Speaker 1: you got disconnected and you had to make the phone
Speaker 1: call in the first place, that warranted free dessert. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: even not even well, Brian, I gotta ask you. You
Speaker 1: said they gave you a fifty off discount. Did they
Speaker 1: take away the the first charge because you said you
Speaker 1: got double charged? Yeah, so they took away to second
Speaker 1: charge and he took away the first charge and reposted
Speaker 1: it with what's the name of this flower company? I
Speaker 1: gotta be honest, Brian, before the Brooklyn Boys podcast, how
Speaker 1: would you have handled this? You know what? I probably
Speaker 1: would have just fought just to get the second charge
Speaker 1: off and would have ended it there. But uh, you know,
Speaker 1: like I said, even not even I'm a slice, I'm
Speaker 1: a Slice for Life. My wife Slice for Life, she
Speaker 1: actually just finished all seventy two episodes. You bought caught
Speaker 1: up you listen to Order? She listened to her. Hey,
Speaker 1: I call her listening out of order right today, listen
Speaker 1: to order. So I guess you just answered that question
Speaker 1: because we didn't know if this was number seventy three
Speaker 1: and number seventy four. But I guess it's number seventy three. Yeah,
Speaker 1: number seventy three. So so my wife, Allison, I guess, Garrett,
Speaker 1: my wife's name is also Allison. Wait are you married
Speaker 1: to my wife? Flowers sent her something interesting, so happy.
Speaker 1: Valentin's dight to my wife, and she's when she's listening.
Speaker 1: And I love you guys. I'm so glad. I'm so
Speaker 1: oddered to be talking to all of you, Brody, Scary,
Speaker 1: Danielle to for a long time. I really appreciate and
Speaker 1: Gandhie your great, great addition. I'm loving it all you guys.
Speaker 1: Keep up with the great work. Love you, thank you,
Speaker 1: Love You's a good day. This is so cool because
Speaker 1: I listened to the podcast, Like I know, I worked
Speaker 1: with these guys every day, right, So it's kind of stupid.
Speaker 1: But when you listen to the podcast and I'm not
Speaker 1: actually on the show. You become a fan, so I'm
Speaker 1: kind of like fan girling a little bit. Like it's
Speaker 1: it's so weird. It's like, Danielle, you work in the
Speaker 1: same room with them for four hours, you can find
Speaker 1: the same chair, and you're not as excited. I've never
Speaker 1: seen you like this because like you know what, like
Speaker 1: you was saying, don't Texas, what's the next thing that
Speaker 1: Danielle wants to accomplish? Like we're living out her dream
Speaker 1: right now. I'll sign a T shirt for you. I
Speaker 1: will send you invisible. I will send you we got
Speaker 1: a new winter one, will send you the Invisible. We're
Speaker 1: not okay? So I had a problem. Since you guys
Speaker 1: are here, I was gonna ask scary, but I okay.
Speaker 1: So a number of episodes ago, you guys, listen to you.
Speaker 1: I've heard the story ready. My friend Jeff and I
Speaker 1: went to the movies and I have the fen Dango app,
Speaker 1: so I buy the tickets and he reimburses me. The
Speaker 1: last time we went, the tickets with ten sixty six.
Speaker 1: So when he shows up at the theater, I scanned
Speaker 1: the code. We go in and he hands me ten
Speaker 1: bucks and goes, there, you go, thanks for picking up
Speaker 1: the tickets. And I got upset because it's ten six
Speaker 1: to six. But this is an old story, okay. So
Speaker 1: this weekend we decided to go to the movies and
Speaker 1: have we go to dinner and have it. So okay.
Speaker 1: So he says, we do you want to go to dinner?
Speaker 1: I said, are you pick it? He says, well, let's
Speaker 1: go to Chili's. It's right by the movie theater and
Speaker 1: a great okay. So I said, I'll meet your Chili's.
Speaker 1: Get there literally put her name down. Because it's a Saturday,
Speaker 1: we have to wait. So he's all right, no problem.
Speaker 1: And I was coming from my mom's house, so it
Speaker 1: was like a hour drive. I said, hey, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be there at this time, get there like twenty minutes early.
Speaker 1: He got there five minutes early, and he texted me
Speaker 1: and says, um, hey, there's a line, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: put my name down, all right. So when I get there,
Speaker 1: I get a spot right by the door and he
Speaker 1: comes out and he says, we're not gonna make the movie.
Speaker 1: It's a twenty five minute wait. What I don't want
Speaker 1: to do? I said, when did you get here five
Speaker 1: minutes ago? I'm like, how could you're not there earlier?
Speaker 1: So I said, I'll tell you what. Let me call
Speaker 1: one of the other theme restaurants on the strip here.
Speaker 1: I'll call Applebee's. Call Applebe's and they're like, no, wait,
Speaker 1: come now. So I'm like great, I said, let's go.
Speaker 1: Uh we'll take one car if you want, and we'll
Speaker 1: drive to Applebee's. We'll go to the movies. After movies,
Speaker 1: we'll get your car on mine. What do you want
Speaker 1: to do? It goes, yeah, let's take your car. Okay,
Speaker 1: no problem. So we get in my car tricked Applee's.
Speaker 1: Have a nice dinner. No wait, no problem, go to
Speaker 1: the movies. I get him in and he says, uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll get changed after after the movies whatever, okay, no problem. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna ask him for the money. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you give me ten sixty six. Okay, So we go.
Speaker 1: We go to the movies. The movie was We went
Speaker 1: to see um the New liam nesson movie Coastal Cold
Speaker 1: whatever it was, don't tweet me, you know what it is, okay,
Speaker 1: don't text me, uh Frozen Patrol whatever it was. It
Speaker 1: was good. It was right. It was good. It was
Speaker 1: like frost Chase something like that. By the way, this
Speaker 1: was like a couple of days after that terrible story.
Speaker 1: He told. Okay, so so first of all, you get
Speaker 1: a signed seats, right, So we I got the last
Speaker 1: two good seats for that night. So we go into
Speaker 1: theater and you know, when you go to as signed seats,
Speaker 1: it's two, two, two and two, all the red recliners.
Speaker 1: So I go to my seat. There's a guy in
Speaker 1: one of the two and a girl in the other
Speaker 1: of the two. Because there were four seats available, they
Speaker 1: didn't even sit in the pair. They sat one and
Speaker 1: one pair one the other pair. So I'm looking at
Speaker 1: them and going, hey, we're doing on my seats. The previews,
Speaker 1: it started like, oh these your seats. There are side seats, asshole.
Speaker 1: And since I know I got the last two good seats,
Speaker 1: you know, they're not your seats. But they got up
Speaker 1: and they went to like the front row. Their seats
Speaker 1: were in the front row. You know, you brought front
Speaker 1: row tickets because you knew the seats that you're in
Speaker 1: were bought read right, you had to know that, so
Speaker 1: you already know somebody owns those seats out of my seats.
Speaker 1: That's ridiculous. So that's a different rands. Hold on, hold on,
Speaker 1: hold on, I never got that fucking sixty six cents
Speaker 1: from Okay, So we go to them. We go and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I get the money from him. When
Speaker 1: we get to the car, I'll ask him for the money.
Speaker 1: No big deal. So we get to the parking lot
Speaker 1: and at this point it's like eleven thirty Chilies is
Speaker 1: winding down, whatever time it was, and the parking lot
Speaker 1: is basically empty, and his little green convertible outie is
Speaker 1: now ten to fifteen feet back from where he left it,
Speaker 1: with the front of his cost smashed. Old paid that
Speaker 1: sixty six hold on. So there's a note on the car. Hey, sorry,
Speaker 1: I tried looking for you in Chilies, which we weren't there.
Speaker 1: But here's my number of my name is Melissa. And
Speaker 1: he left the phone but one of the digits you
Speaker 1: couldn't read, so we had to call no, no, no.
Speaker 1: You can see the pen it was either a six
Speaker 1: or one or okay, So we called the police to
Speaker 1: fell an accident report because there's no answer on the phone.
Speaker 1: The guy says, I can tell by that number it's
Speaker 1: a burner phone. Right, okay, So long story shorty, he
Speaker 1: doesn't have insurance for hit and run. He has a
Speaker 1: weird insurance like if he crashed it his insurance, but
Speaker 1: hit and run no insurance. And then right, okay, so
Speaker 1: he's out a couple of grand on the car. Now
Speaker 1: I suggested take my car, leave your car here, and
Speaker 1: he's like, a great idea. Okay, that's part of the
Speaker 1: problem too. I can still ask him for my ten bucks, right,
Speaker 1: come on, man, he went through, but he still owes
Speaker 1: me the ten bucks. Still, after everything he's gone through,
Speaker 1: I think you could eat that ten bucks, and you could.
Speaker 1: I feel like the next time I see him, were like, hey, man,
Speaker 1: you should get the movies this time. You didn't pay
Speaker 1: me the last time for you. Don't be a dude.
Speaker 1: He drove your dick. Yeah, by the way, that isn't
Speaker 1: answer to my question him get the money back. And
Speaker 1: his answer was your dick, your dick, just send a
Speaker 1: fixture in your face to someone over Wow. So okay,
Speaker 1: I get that his cause damage can't know about me.
Speaker 1: I'm out ten bucks. Now, what is the sympathy for that?
Speaker 1: I feel like I got hit and ran. No because
Speaker 1: you have to think about it that way. I mean,
Speaker 1: keep his car, I mean like two dollars. Fuck, he
Speaker 1: drove used the one who put himself. Okay, I think
Speaker 1: you're missing something. I used my gas to go from
Speaker 1: chillers up the block. It could have been worse for you,
Speaker 1: if you think about it. If you had left your
Speaker 1: car and taken his car, would have been your car smack.
Speaker 1: But I've gotten sure insurance. You can't. He stoles with
Speaker 1: that's ten six six. It's ten sixty six times two. Now, dad,
Speaker 1: he had an awful, awful day. Think any one thirty
Speaker 1: two years, ten sixty six certain things, you know, the
Speaker 1: consideration next time if next time you see you, if
Speaker 1: next time you go to the movies and he doesn't
Speaker 1: you know, I took him on the Norwegian cruise with us.
Speaker 1: You got a free cruise at the deal. If you
Speaker 1: how much did you pay free? C doesn't matter. I
Speaker 1: just I'm just saying that he doesn't know me anything,
Speaker 1: because a free steak dinner is still unpaid for. But
Speaker 1: I took him on the dinner. But he always made
Speaker 1: ten thirty times alright, Gandhi, No, you're absolutely wrong, you are.
Speaker 1: There's not one person in here who crazy because it's
Speaker 1: not your ten dollars. I will give you the ten dollars.
Speaker 1: How about that. I know you're talking. I was in
Speaker 1: a situation where I thought exactly of you the other day.
Speaker 1: So I went back, I'm not going to be complimentary. No,
Speaker 1: it is because I thought what would Brody do in
Speaker 1: this situation? So I got I got me and my
Speaker 1: wife new iPhone chargers for our phones, like the case chargers.
Speaker 1: I bought him online and uh it was it was
Speaker 1: the wrong size. So I went to the store so
Speaker 1: I didn't have to do the whole shipment stuff. Went
Speaker 1: to the store. The guy goes, okay, that's great. Uh,
Speaker 1: you owe me one cent for the restocking fee, just
Speaker 1: for one. You can't ring it. You can't ring it up,
Speaker 1: so so for the exchange. So I had this happen
Speaker 1: to me. I didn't have who has a penny? Like,
Speaker 1: no one really carries money on them as much, let
Speaker 1: alone a penny, right, right because the other ones they
Speaker 1: can't up in a register, right or something like that.
Speaker 1: And yeah, right, that sounds like a problem on that guy.
Speaker 1: It's his problem. Yeah, So I hope he gave him
Speaker 1: the penny. Well, I had to go back out to
Speaker 1: my car and go through the change put a penny in. Well,
Speaker 1: that's so I thought. I thought he owed me a penny.
Speaker 1: So I stood there for five minutes. Ag, oh, it's
Speaker 1: a penny. Don't worry, I don't need it. It's a
Speaker 1: you know, if if times get tough and I might
Speaker 1: need that penny, I'll come back and I'll tell you
Speaker 1: I need that penny. Goes, no, you owe me a penny, Like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. He was serious. He I go, you're serious?
Speaker 1: He goes, yeah, serious. I go, I don't have a
Speaker 1: penny on me. He's a penny, him a penny. He
Speaker 1: owes you the case, let us draw me a penny short.
Speaker 1: So I go this This argument probably could have one
Speaker 1: on a half hour if Brody was here, of why
Speaker 1: I'm not paying a penny, I would have gotten a
Speaker 1: free phone out of the deals. Don't be a cashier
Speaker 1: if you don't know how to do math I had.
Speaker 1: I went shopping this week, and I think that the
Speaker 1: money I owed was ten sixteen, so I had a
Speaker 1: quarter and a penny. So I gave her a quarter
Speaker 1: and a penny. So I get a dime back. So
Speaker 1: they wanted to get nine cents. She looked at me like,
Speaker 1: and she gave me the penny back. She don't understand.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I want to give you the Oh
Speaker 1: you know what it was? It was, Um, it was
Speaker 1: I gave her. I gave whatever it was. I gave
Speaker 1: her a single to get a ten back and a
Speaker 1: penny to get a time back. And she's like, you
Speaker 1: gave me too much money. I go, just put it in,
Speaker 1: just hit the numbers and do the calculator. Like, if
Speaker 1: you got to use calculator, you should n't be on
Speaker 1: the register. You shouldn't be Yeah, well it's all done
Speaker 1: for them now. They don't need they don't need us,
Speaker 1: and they also need you. You don't need your brain.
Speaker 1: They also just read whatever was on a lot of
Speaker 1: the cashiers don't know that that's just a calculator function.
Speaker 1: In other words, if I give them a twenty and
Speaker 1: they go twenty, and I go, no, I got a ten.
Speaker 1: You give me ten. They go, I can't take it
Speaker 1: ardy into the twenty, and then he shows I'll be
Speaker 1: short ten dollars. No, you won't be sure. Where are
Speaker 1: you shopping? I don't want a name name, Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: never going to go there. But I did talk about
Speaker 1: calls that the Hello Titty couple episodes Hello the Big
Speaker 1: Hello Kitty on the Titty that she was bad at
Speaker 1: math too. But if you're thrown by change, you got
Speaker 1: one job, two jobs. You scan and you give change.
Speaker 1: This is why I never work a register anymore. When
Speaker 1: I worked to McDonald's, I was like so confused. But
Speaker 1: back when we were coming up, we actually had to
Speaker 1: do math. There was no automatic. Just now and now
Speaker 1: you don't even have to open the register of some
Speaker 1: of the places has like a little like slide and
Speaker 1: it just it slides out of the side rights, it
Speaker 1: slides out of the side of the sponsor. And then
Speaker 1: the point that they can be you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's all auto. Right, Yeah, So how ironic gives you
Speaker 1: with out ten sixty six, I'd let me tell a story,
Speaker 1: just one story, and then I'll leave. Sure when, by
Speaker 1: the way, the fact that you guys are like sort
Speaker 1: of hosting this great, He's gonna be so pissed guys
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Boys and the Jersey Kid night, and he was
Speaker 1: like scary. Listen to Wheelie. Let's let's sit down you
Speaker 1: me and Brodie and we're gonna do with the Brooklyn
Speaker 1: Boys and the Jersey kid. I could see it now.
Speaker 1: Last in that sentence, he's out there by the way.
Speaker 1: By the way, what you're describing is an exact text
Speaker 1: conversation he had with us on Friday. Danielle, listen to
Speaker 1: what Scary's gonna say, and then see how close it
Speaker 1: is to the exact text message he sent you and
Speaker 1: I once real show. We could take this podcast, take
Speaker 1: it to the next level, and we could turn it
Speaker 1: into a real show. And not only that, but the
Speaker 1: same text message, hold on now, I'm gonna use my
Speaker 1: social media fine, and then Brody uses his and Scary
Speaker 1: you use yours, and then everybody's gonna all pull together,
Speaker 1: and then we're gonna get to take it to the
Speaker 1: next level. And paste that and just sendence everybody. I
Speaker 1: did not receive this text. I did not answer him,
Speaker 1: and he said, why haven't you answered me? And my
Speaker 1: answer was, I've been doing stuff with the kids, and
Speaker 1: I'm at a soccer game, and I'll answer I cannot
Speaker 1: read all of this word. Definitely definitely copied and paste
Speaker 1: today he sent to us on Friday. By the way,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask you guys as the two other members
Speaker 1: of fedge Ham. Yes, I know this to be hold
Speaker 1: on the defunct fedge Ham. How many episodes is? How
Speaker 1: many podcasts? Greg t run into the ground. I love
Speaker 1: the guy hold on but no, No. On the first
Speaker 1: or second episode of fedg him. Yeah he said the
Speaker 1: Brooklyn boys that thing's going nowhere. He did. You're right,
Speaker 1: he didn't say that because everyone told us that head
Speaker 1: And now he's begging to get on because we're a
Speaker 1: trained he gave. He gave us a very nice compliment.
Speaker 1: Yes recently, Yes, last night. Yeah, I love what you
Speaker 1: guys are doing. Yes, but let's do something else, and
Speaker 1: you want to do something more remix Daniel, What did
Speaker 1: you want to say? Oh? I was going to say,
Speaker 1: speaking of going to the movies with someone and dating
Speaker 1: and available, let's go and I'll tell my husband I
Speaker 1: went to the movies with a guy back in the
Speaker 1: day when I was dating. They were black and white
Speaker 1: with no sound, and I said him, shut up. And
Speaker 1: I said to him, you know why, why don't you
Speaker 1: know I can pay for my own you know when
Speaker 1: we He no, no, I got it, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: So he pays and I and we go into the
Speaker 1: thing and I gave him. I think he said to me, oh,
Speaker 1: the movie tickets were this much. So I actually gave
Speaker 1: him half the movie tickets, you know, but I still
Speaker 1: owned him a couple of dollars because I didn't have
Speaker 1: enough in my pockets already better than my friendship, right,
Speaker 1: so I've so so we were going to go Dutch.
Speaker 1: He wanted to pay and I said no, So I
Speaker 1: think I owed him three or four bucks. We get
Speaker 1: into the theater. He gets online and he looks at
Speaker 1: me and he goes, you know those three dollars you
Speaker 1: owe me the four dollars, could you go over there
Speaker 1: and get me some milk douts? Oh god, first and
Speaker 1: last time we ever went out, and I could not believe. Look,
Speaker 1: I don't care you you want me to give you
Speaker 1: the money. I offered the money, and I know I
Speaker 1: didn't have enough to cover it whatever, but you're going
Speaker 1: to send me on the line, the girl who was
Speaker 1: on the day to get your milk dots and tell
Speaker 1: me give me you three four dollars for the milk dods.
Speaker 1: Know Danielle. Knowing Danielle now if she was anything like
Speaker 1: she was now that she was back then, she would
Speaker 1: have said, you could take your milk does. You're never
Speaker 1: going to get these milk do either, And he didn't.
Speaker 1: That was the last, first and last time we went out. Someday,
Speaker 1: I'm going to text my husband these pictures milks right here.
Speaker 1: I had a guy right before I was moving from Boston.
Speaker 1: I was joking. I was joking around, and I said,
Speaker 1: now is the time, fellas, if you ever wanted to
Speaker 1: ask me out, this is your chance because I'm leaving.
Speaker 1: And nobody did. But I did get a venmo request
Speaker 1: from someone to pay him back for a date that
Speaker 1: we went on because he wasn't happy with the outcome outcome.
Speaker 1: It was the outcome. There was no outcome, There was
Speaker 1: no outcome. He was cute, but he was douchy and
Speaker 1: clearly like, hit me up for a hundred and thirty
Speaker 1: two dollars and he wanted me to pay him back.
Speaker 1: I was like, that's hilarious. We went to dinner and
Speaker 1: had drinks. That was it. Fuck you, Oh, I'd like
Speaker 1: decline to take these milk duds and show them expectation.
Speaker 1: Speaking of outcome, a lap offoons under score one. He
Speaker 1: knows who he is. I bet he said that the
Speaker 1: right way. Yeah, exactly. He sent me this message. He
Speaker 1: slid into my d M. S Hey Dave, I'm David.
Speaker 1: By the way. I was just wondering, when are you
Speaker 1: guys leaving for winter break? I hear Greg t on
Speaker 1: the pre Come Morning Show. Thevie Duran Show has upcoming
Speaker 1: time off for winter, so I don't I know he
Speaker 1: meant the pre Morning Show. What I want to know
Speaker 1: is why did his phone complete pre com the pre
Speaker 1: Come Morning Show. You're you and Dan Yellow on the
Speaker 1: Precum Morning and completely? Is there a warning that the
Speaker 1: pre com Morning shows you don't know if you us
Speaker 1: lock up? I understand. How often do you guys text people?
Speaker 1: Pre calm definitely says pure that's a listener. Here's a
Speaker 1: picture of my I know, but here's a picture of
Speaker 1: my dick. You might notice on the top there's a
Speaker 1: little Precome Morning Show. I was excited. I think if
Speaker 1: I did this have to listen, If I did this
Speaker 1: podcast more often, I'd be talking like this all the
Speaker 1: time my normal voice. I don't know, you guys have
Speaker 1: time or not. But my mom has a new segment.
Speaker 1: You want to call my mom real quick. Those guys
Speaker 1: in the Roman and we'll be right back after this. Okay, alright,
Speaker 1: talk about Sloman's now or something. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: ok So, get my mom on the phone, all right.
Speaker 1: She had a problem at a restaurant and the dead tar.
Speaker 1: I love you, Garrett. That's where he draws the line,
Speaker 1: just trying to leave when you grab too many brodies.
Speaker 1: I want to talk to your well, thanks for stopping
Speaker 1: gart HIGI. How long have you been doing this today
Speaker 1: so far? How long? We're seven minutes? Long? Are they
Speaker 1: two hours? Okay, I'm gonna have to go. You gotta go,
Speaker 1: you gotta go? How long is your podcast? We're actually?
Speaker 1: She answered, Hello, we Hi, welcome to Brooklyn Boys, episode
Speaker 1: seventy three. You want to remember that because she tells
Speaker 1: all her friends that listen out of order and only
Speaker 1: gives them the episode numbers that she's on. What is
Speaker 1: the best episode? My mom? Okay, so, Mom, you're on
Speaker 1: the podcast with Brodie and Scary of course, but Danielle
Speaker 1: and Gandi you here also, Mommy, will you ever come
Speaker 1: to Hi? Gandhi? You're the only one I haven't met.
Speaker 1: I look forward to. I'm very excited for this phone
Speaker 1: call right now. Okay, So mom, set the scene. You
Speaker 1: were at a new restaurant with your friends. Okay, I
Speaker 1: went out with a group of women. We like to
Speaker 1: try someplace new. That's the thing we do out here, okay,
Speaker 1: right now that I live in enjoy Cy. So we
Speaker 1: went to a place called the Station because somebody said
Speaker 1: they have good hamburgers. It's kind of a roadside pub al.
Speaker 1: Somebody ordered a roast beef sandwich in the group, and
Speaker 1: she asked the way to bring her a little ramikin
Speaker 1: of mayonnaise. When the check came, I'm the accountant for
Speaker 1: the group. That's my mom. The account doesn't did you?
Speaker 1: She paid her ten sixty six. There's a dollar charge
Speaker 1: on the check, and I asked the waiter what is
Speaker 1: this dollar for? He said, that's for the mayonnaise. Hold on,
Speaker 1: hold on, Daniel upset already, that's ridiculous, My goodness, I said,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, Wait a minute. I'm a brody, I'm
Speaker 1: already grumbling. I said, a dollar for mayonnaise? Do you
Speaker 1: charge for ketchup and mustard? Too? No, just for the mayonnaise.
Speaker 1: So before I paid the check, I went to the register.
Speaker 1: I said, is this a mistake? A dollar charge for
Speaker 1: a little cup, a little ramicking of mayonnaise. She said, no,
Speaker 1: we charge for mayonnaise. So I went back to my friends.
Speaker 1: I said, girls, will pay the check. We're getting out
Speaker 1: of here. We're changing the station here again, so that
Speaker 1: coming here again the dollars of But second, if you
Speaker 1: look at the cost of a jar of mayonnaise versus
Speaker 1: ketchup and mustard, aren't they all around? It's in the condiments. Yes,
Speaker 1: they shouldn't charge for me. And so this past week
Speaker 1: I'm driving her around with doing some shopping and we
Speaker 1: passed this place. It says, David, you see that place.
Speaker 1: They're dead to me. And you know what I think
Speaker 1: it is. I think it's because they could they feel
Speaker 1: they could charge for anything that's out of the ordinary.
Speaker 1: Well wait, there was a fast food place I used
Speaker 1: to go to. I'm not going to say which one
Speaker 1: it is, and they used to charge for one of
Speaker 1: the condiments. And if you didn't get a certain thing
Speaker 1: on the menu, they would say, well, that doesn't go
Speaker 1: with what you ordered, so you need to pay for it.
Speaker 1: But I like to dip my French fries in and
Speaker 1: they would say, no, it doesn't go with your food.
Speaker 1: I'm like, but that I want it, and they would
Speaker 1: charge for for that. You food, that's because no, you're
Speaker 1: not Jewish. Jewish people dip dip. Indian people dip. I didn't.
Speaker 1: We aren't gonna let me dip. Okay. So there's a
Speaker 1: pizza place chain that may or may not be from California,
Speaker 1: and they've got a kitchen, okay, and if you ask,
Speaker 1: because they they're very light on the sauce, and I'm
Speaker 1: a sauce guy. There was a time I don't know
Speaker 1: because I haven't been back then, if you ask for
Speaker 1: extra sauce, they charged your dollar. And the words of
Speaker 1: my mother, the funk out of here. Yeah, I did
Speaker 1: see if you ask for extra chicken or you ast
Speaker 1: me when you voted up when you got a quick check, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you want extra turkey or whatever that makes sense? Even avocado?
Speaker 1: Have you guys know I don't eat vegetables. You know
Speaker 1: I order roast Polomono vegtables right, Okay, So I get it.
Speaker 1: I get it. They get a direct message from Sully
Speaker 1: zero to one nine. He says, hey, man, great episode
Speaker 1: of the Brooklyn Boys. I'm a huge fan, and I
Speaker 1: listened to the older episodes while I wait for the
Speaker 1: new ones in order. Just ordered chicken lomaine, no vegetables,
Speaker 1: and it was two dollars more. W t F. If anything,
Speaker 1: it should be cheaper because it's best food. Then they
Speaker 1: have to cook slice for life looking forward to a
Speaker 1: live episode. Let me tell you what they do. Have
Speaker 1: had this problem, especially in Manhattan. If you order no vegetables,
Speaker 1: they will tell you they have to put an extra
Speaker 1: meat to fill the container, so they charge you two
Speaker 1: dollars more. That's what I'm going to f you. I
Speaker 1: didn't ask for extra meat. I just don't want the vegetable.
Speaker 1: But you'd still be the same person complaining if they
Speaker 1: gave you a three quarters of a container and it's
Speaker 1: not filled up all the way and then because all
Speaker 1: the way up, no, I can't win with you. Hold on, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not that person, because I'm gonna experience no vegetables.
Speaker 1: Would you say, I would say, thank you, there's no
Speaker 1: vegetables and another thing. So if they charge you extra,
Speaker 1: they're dead to you. However, if they don't know that,
Speaker 1: scalions of vegetables. If I have to call and no vegetables,
Speaker 1: but they still put scillions in the sauce. There dumbest bricks,
Speaker 1: Mama Brody, what episode was that numbers? Every one of
Speaker 1: them was a skiing episode. But I kind of see
Speaker 1: this guy. I don't remember the numbers, and I'm famous
Speaker 1: if now here's the problem with my mom. She's getting that,
Speaker 1: she's getting a taste of celebrity, and she's loving the
Speaker 1: fact that people hear her on this and she she
Speaker 1: posts the link and then all the cousins hear it,
Speaker 1: so all the time I see her. Now do you
Speaker 1: need me on another episode? I haven't been on in
Speaker 1: so many weeks? Right? Always need she said. So we're
Speaker 1: driving around her area this weekend and she's like, you know,
Speaker 1: besides the mayonnaise grumble, I've got other grumbles. Where did
Speaker 1: this word grumble come from? Just? Well, you have rants?
Speaker 1: I think I should have grumbles. So she's got and
Speaker 1: she went down a list of like five or six
Speaker 1: grumbles because you want me to do them all on
Speaker 1: one episode? Or should I do them on separate episodes?
Speaker 1: Want we want Mama's grumbles? Mom, without saying what the
Speaker 1: problem is, do you remember the subject matter of one
Speaker 1: of your other grumbles? Yeah? Okay, I saw in the
Speaker 1: future episode you will hear one of my mother's pissed
Speaker 1: at the orange juice industry. She's got a grumbles. You
Speaker 1: know I am too, though, Mama the way, what's your
Speaker 1: mom bringing to the tap? Scary tony Grange juice? I
Speaker 1: got a orange? But what's your problem with Grange juice?
Speaker 1: If it's my mom's toplem, we'll do it right now.
Speaker 1: It's my problem. Has to do with the pulp versus
Speaker 1: no pul no, and the concentrate versus fresh. No. That's okay,
Speaker 1: that's that doesn't even count. That's not a grumble. Scary,
Speaker 1: it's her segments. Don't you watch? Go back to watching MSNBC.
Speaker 1: We'll talculator right, all right? I think I love her.
Speaker 1: That's the cutest. She's awesome. But changing the station scary.
Speaker 1: That's not even a grumble. So normally I hear her bitch,
Speaker 1: and I go, I think you have a valid point.
Speaker 1: When she's like, oh I've got another grumble, I'm like,
Speaker 1: my calm down. You don't have your own podcast yet?
Speaker 1: Slow down? Oh my god? Yeah, mom and grandma grumbles.
Speaker 1: You know what she could do longer than us. She
Speaker 1: would be the first person to get to a million,
Speaker 1: and probably she's she's a character, Mayonnaise are out here?
Speaker 1: She called me eleven thirty at night. When she got home.
Speaker 1: She's like, do you have a minute like Mon's eleven thirty?
Speaker 1: All right, you have a minute dinner with the girls
Speaker 1: to a new place, you know, like we always do.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know, Ma, every time she tells me
Speaker 1: about this, she went out for a new place. I go,
Speaker 1: I know the routine. It's a new place. So it's
Speaker 1: just I there was a dollar charge on my bill.
Speaker 1: I said, you were upset? Yeah, I got what was
Speaker 1: it for? Something reasonable? If I'm mayonnaise? So anyway, so
Speaker 1: there you go. I think I love her, and I
Speaker 1: see where you have come from. Yes, you like your
Speaker 1: dad or your mom? Did you just hear that segment? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like your mom. But I don't know because I I
Speaker 1: unfortunately I remember your dad. No, my my, my, My
Speaker 1: dad was very much into electronics and the old time
Speaker 1: TV shows and stuff. He got me into that. Okay,
Speaker 1: But I once said to my dad. I think it
Speaker 1: was eleven or twelve years old. Got mad at me.
Speaker 1: I said I said that, how tall are you? He
Speaker 1: said six too? I said, could you grow a little taller?
Speaker 1: He said why? Because all my jokes go over your
Speaker 1: head because appreciate I was like waka walk on. He
Speaker 1: was not happy. My dad, My dad appreciated, Uh, this
Speaker 1: my job here when I had it, you know, when
Speaker 1: he was around. Uh, he used to send me like
Speaker 1: song parodies that people would vowed him and it would
Speaker 1: be mine, sent me this, that was me. No, he
Speaker 1: was good. But but as far as like the sense
Speaker 1: of humor, what you hear and what people seem to
Speaker 1: like what I do, that's my mom's family. There are
Speaker 1: other comedy writers in my family. And uh, you know
Speaker 1: so I met one, Yeah, my cousin right in Los
Speaker 1: Angeles when we went to l A for the Cousin John.
Speaker 1: My cousin John wrote for Rosie O'Donnell. He wrote for
Speaker 1: The Daily Show. He wrote for Penn and Teller. Imagine me, guys,
Speaker 1: imagine me sitting in a Chinese restaurant with the two
Speaker 1: of them on either side. That wasn't my cousin, That
Speaker 1: was my That was Craig from my improv group. He's
Speaker 1: another comedic guy to know the cousins. When we went
Speaker 1: to the Consint the Redhead, my cousin John is is
Speaker 1: brilliantly funny, but he's the other kind of funny. There
Speaker 1: are two types of comics. They're the ones that are
Speaker 1: like joking, funny, outgoing, loud all the time, and then
Speaker 1: there's the quiet ones, like the sneak attack funny. Like
Speaker 1: so he writes really funny and if if he's in
Speaker 1: the mood, will will riff. But normally he's very like
Speaker 1: you wouldn't know he was a comedy writer. And a
Speaker 1: lot of comics like that, like you know Robert Smigel,
Speaker 1: he was, He's a famous comic. He does the insult
Speaker 1: comic dog triumph. When you meet him, he's like, hey,
Speaker 1: how you doing. You want to help me write this joke?
Speaker 1: I was wondering if you think to punch very like
Speaker 1: serious comics like the architect of comedy. And when you
Speaker 1: do stand up, you hang out in the green room
Speaker 1: with all the comics and some of them like don't
Speaker 1: talk and they're very like, they very like and they introvert.
Speaker 1: They get on stage and like they get off stage like, so,
Speaker 1: how was that was good? Yeah? A lot of comics
Speaker 1: are very serious, very uh. They have a lot of
Speaker 1: issues and a lot and some comics are like more outgoing,
Speaker 1: like people meet me, they have some idea that I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: you should be in comedy. My cousin John, you some
Speaker 1: drunk people I worked. I worked at a restaurant in
Speaker 1: Brooklyn called Rolling Roaster. It's a famous Brooklyn restaurant, and
Speaker 1: I used when I used to be funny like that
Speaker 1: like I am now at least I think I am.
Speaker 1: And my friend, my friend Vinnie said to me once
Speaker 1: because I was thinking about I made him write comedy someday,
Speaker 1: he says to me, goes, you're Rolling Roast to funny,
Speaker 1: like you're funny here, you know, like funny out in
Speaker 1: the real world. Can imagine somebody said this guy but like,
Speaker 1: you know, like today, where is he now? Well, he's dead.
Speaker 1: He's not talking about Thanks for bringing that up anyway,
Speaker 1: He passed away from Yeah, I'll tell you the story
Speaker 1: of a funeral one day, because the funeral was funny
Speaker 1: every every By the way, by the way, how do
Speaker 1: you guys go off on tangents? Well, here's an exact.
Speaker 1: Comedy clubs on Mondays and Tuesdays don't normally have big
Speaker 1: name comics. They have them on the weekends. So you
Speaker 1: got like a big comedy club or medium comedy club
Speaker 1: like Mondays and Tuesdays they'll have like funniest account to night,
Speaker 1: will you bring ten of your friends down to buy drinks? Right?
Speaker 1: Everyone has that Everyone is a funny person in the office.
Speaker 1: It's like American Idol, Remember the auditions and they were like, oh,
Speaker 1: everyone tells me I'm a great singer and they would
Speaker 1: like singing, like, oh god, your coworkers have no clue
Speaker 1: or good singers. Everyone has that person at work who
Speaker 1: thinks you're the funniest person at work, and they might
Speaker 1: be the funniest person at the paper plant, no reference
Speaker 1: to the office, whatever you work, but not like stand
Speaker 1: up comedy funny, and that's okay. So he made me
Speaker 1: feel like you're you're like roast beef slice and funny,
Speaker 1: like you're funny in detention. So I'm glad I didn't
Speaker 1: listen to him worked out. But that happens in my
Speaker 1: house too, though. My husband says he's the funny one,
Speaker 1: and I'm whatever, and I go, I don't pretty sure
Speaker 1: I get paid to be funny, and he goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: but not that kind of a funny, and then my
Speaker 1: kids agree. My kids agree, They're like, yeah, my dad's funny,
Speaker 1: or my my kids don't think I'm funny. They think
Speaker 1: my wife is much funnier. Can can I make you
Speaker 1: clean room? Because I can't make that in the rooms.
Speaker 1: I guess they're like, you're not funny dad, your dad jokes,
Speaker 1: they're not dad jokes. I have a professional topic. Can
Speaker 1: I put you on the spot for something? Thanks? I
Speaker 1: wanted to take yourself out of the mix because I
Speaker 1: know you would say yourself, you think the funniest person
Speaker 1: on the show? Hold on, hold on, hold on. There's
Speaker 1: different types of funny. Great t is the funniest physical
Speaker 1: comedian on the show. Okay, um, I think speak at
Speaker 1: the devil. He's calling my phone right now. I see
Speaker 1: on the show, I don't really talk a lot, so
Speaker 1: to me, yeah, I'm saying, but my my style of
Speaker 1: comedy is the humor is different. I think scary is
Speaker 1: self deprecating funniest on the show. I think Danielle is
Speaker 1: oh my god, what the hell is she talking about? Hilarious,
Speaker 1: where like she just says things You're like, oh my god, larious.
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, I think you have a sarcasm to you.
Speaker 1: I think I think Elvis says things he slips one
Speaker 1: line is in not that I once. In general, Elvis
Speaker 1: is a very funny, affable but he doesn't try to
Speaker 1: be funny like so it's very hard to answer. But
Speaker 1: there are people on the show that their role isn't
Speaker 1: to be funny. But no, I don't. I don't think
Speaker 1: I'll tell you any other radio show you're not the funniest.
Speaker 1: I didn't think it was gonna be me. I just
Speaker 1: wanted to see who you're gonna say. I'll be honest
Speaker 1: with you, I think everybody is funny in a different way. Differently,
Speaker 1: if you and Danielle were the same funny, I'd be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: It's like it's like apples and oranges. You're both fruit,
Speaker 1: but you're not. I can't say an apple is better
Speaker 1: than an orange fruit. At times, I wonder if you're
Speaker 1: a vegetables as I'm a fan of that plant. Well,
Speaker 1: right now, you're a fan of yellow squash, so you're right,
Speaker 1: you're right squash. Okay, so scary. Yeah, who do you
Speaker 1: think is the funniest person on the show? Don't look
Speaker 1: at me. I think I think I think you're the funniest.
Speaker 1: Look at that, which is when I'm not allowed on
Speaker 1: the show. A podcast with you did. You did say that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well I appreciate that, but that's all right, all right, right.
Speaker 1: You should have seen me back in rolling roadster when
Speaker 1: I was slicing roast people. Can I tell you so?
Speaker 1: I used to, like you know, I did. I did
Speaker 1: on an earlier episode. I think I told then get
Speaker 1: to the I don't think scary talks that all on
Speaker 1: this scary does we're even get to the foot in
Speaker 1: the bag. Were footing the bag? And I have unused jokes.
Speaker 1: Leave a second. I told the story in an earlier episode.
Speaker 1: I got in trouble. I got in trouble and a
Speaker 1: chicken rim place. I said something that was I was
Speaker 1: much younger, and I thought everything was funny. You guys
Speaker 1: probably heard it. But as someone I said something inappropriate. Yes,
Speaker 1: I said something. I said two things. I said something
Speaker 1: that was slightly inappropriate even for that, and this was racist.
Speaker 1: I would never say anthing racist. I say it all time.
Speaker 1: I never yeah, inappropriate, My it goes there you're talking
Speaker 1: about no, no, no, So I said something that was
Speaker 1: hurtful to someone. I meant it as a joke and
Speaker 1: I said something that was like, you know, I probably
Speaker 1: shouldn't said it. Now definitely not. But somebody, somebody said, um,
Speaker 1: they said, oh, I was working in a chicken rip
Speaker 1: play said fried foods and stuff. And they said, hey, um,
Speaker 1: uh do you batter your shrimp? And I said yeah,
Speaker 1: he was smacking around a little bit. And they and they,
Speaker 1: they were like they got upset with I would have laughed,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with these people? They got a freaking pull
Speaker 1: up there? Well, they said, they said, I don't think
Speaker 1: that he right right? And and I okay, I and
Speaker 1: then and then so I'm not saying I made here's
Speaker 1: the thing. I made a different battered joke previous to
Speaker 1: that that was worse. And it was board timing. And
Speaker 1: then someone asked me how to get there? Like, oh,
Speaker 1: I told this story ready it was it was uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I was like, boom, funny, clever,
Speaker 1: but sometimes my mind is too quick. It was the
Speaker 1: one and it was the chicken rip play. And uh,
Speaker 1: the way, the guy who who who opened this place up,
Speaker 1: he didn't put a one piece chicken on the menu,
Speaker 1: so he put like a number two was a one
Speaker 1: piece and number three was a two piece. It used
Speaker 1: to drive me crazy. So somebody said there was no
Speaker 1: way to buy like it was like you could buy
Speaker 1: a drumstick for like a dollar fifty whatever it was,
Speaker 1: So you couldn't nowhere on the menu could you buy
Speaker 1: like just one chicken breast? Right. So a woman come
Speaker 1: up to me and said, how do I get one breast?
Speaker 1: What did I said? I said, the surgical procedure that
Speaker 1: would that would happen to that. That wasn't appropriate. I
Speaker 1: find that hilarious, Okay. I thought it was okay because
Speaker 1: her mother had had that operation. And again before you,
Speaker 1: Governor of Virginia, of me, it was in the eighties,
Speaker 1: and I feel terrible about it. And I'm only telling
Speaker 1: the story to say sometimes your brain works too quickly
Speaker 1: and you have to get better at that. But I
Speaker 1: was attempting to be funny back when I worked in
Speaker 1: a Chicken and Replace. I've always been this way. But
Speaker 1: I used to get in trouble and I told the
Speaker 1: story about the dean have your perfect outlet. Well, these
Speaker 1: guys Sharving heard it real quick. Daniels heard the story.
Speaker 1: She listens in order. But I did get in trouble
Speaker 1: in school where the dean called my mom. I got
Speaker 1: pulled out of school and said Mrs Rohdeum calling from
Speaker 1: the dean's office and is my son okay, it's okay,
Speaker 1: so all right, he's all come right now, No, your
Speaker 1: son's fine. He thinks he's a comedian. She was, yeah, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: he sort of is. No, no, you don't understand. He
Speaker 1: was extremely humorous and up to the class, and she goes, well,
Speaker 1: what's the problem he gets set from me. She's like,
Speaker 1: he thinks he's funny. He's very funny. And he's like, no,
Speaker 1: you don't understand. He's in trouble for what for being funny? Oh?
Speaker 1: Stop it? Yeah, And he got so mad. He was
Speaker 1: trying to tell my mom that I was in trouble
Speaker 1: for being funny, and she's like, I'm so proud of him,
Speaker 1: so you admit he's funny and problem in my school
Speaker 1: because my son gets in trouble for talk. Spenser Preston,
Speaker 1: and he gets in trouble for talking all the time.
Speaker 1: And I have a hard time getting mad at him
Speaker 1: because I did it too. I used and when they
Speaker 1: would send me to the principal's office, I'd stand outside
Speaker 1: the door and make faces at everybody. And I never Actually,
Speaker 1: it's probably not a bad problem. To be dealing with.
Speaker 1: And I think I told this story a long time ago,
Speaker 1: but it was over a year ago. Mr Cohen from
Speaker 1: Mark Twain Junior High School. Oh yeah, we had these
Speaker 1: little books you'd sign, the autograph books back in the day.
Speaker 1: And so he drew a picture of a mouth with braces,
Speaker 1: because I had braces. I graduated ninth grade. I was thirteen,
Speaker 1: so I still had by braces. They hadn't come off yet.
Speaker 1: And he drew a picture of a mouth with braces
Speaker 1: and he said, good luck. I'm sure your big mouth
Speaker 1: will get you in trouble some day. And anyway, I
Speaker 1: gotta go. Thank you guys so much for letting us
Speaker 1: be Oh please, it is so cool. I can't wait
Speaker 1: for a time day. Guys. Thank you very much, very much.
Speaker 1: I we'll be right back. All right, so you guys
Speaker 1: are still here after that you just played get out.
Speaker 1: They love us so much. I got unused jokes. And
Speaker 1: then we'll get out of here. Yeah, all right, we are.
Speaker 1: We're already late. Yeah. No, it's got a lot a
Speaker 1: lot going on here. All right, Bye, bye, guys, Thank you?
Speaker 1: Can I can I come with you? Take me with you.
Speaker 1: They've becoming regulars on the show. No, great, when I
Speaker 1: pay him. These are punchlines that we're not used on
Speaker 1: the show. All right, all right, so this one, we
Speaker 1: were talking about traveling to Mars that right now, traveling
Speaker 1: to Mars is a one way trip because by the
Speaker 1: time you get there, there's nowhere to get back. You're dead.
Speaker 1: I said. So my joke was, well, Mars maybe a
Speaker 1: one may one way, but there's a bunch of people
Speaker 1: in this room who's uranus is two way? Hi? Oh okay,
Speaker 1: we couldn't get that joke on the air. Elvis got
Speaker 1: a text message that said, oh, Elvis, you're being a
Speaker 1: little squirrelly today, because what does that mean? And so
Speaker 1: my joke was, it means you're trying to get some
Speaker 1: nuts in your mouth. And he wouldn't do that. Uh,
Speaker 1: let me see. Oh, he wants to celebrate Gallantine's Day,
Speaker 1: the day before Valentine's Day when girls go out with
Speaker 1: my boyfriends. He said, well, I should be able to
Speaker 1: go out on Galantine's Day and I said, no, you
Speaker 1: should go out on Gayantine's Day. They didn't want to
Speaker 1: do that. Um. We did a story about a wild
Speaker 1: wild leopard on the loose in some town and I said, oh,
Speaker 1: the wild leopard apparently he was spotted. Didn't get to that.
Speaker 1: And then finally he found this to be a little
Speaker 1: too much. We did a story Gandhia destroyed her news
Speaker 1: about polar bears and how paular bears had moved into
Speaker 1: this town, uh somewhere up north and they were making
Speaker 1: themselves at home on people's lawns. And I said, ah, damn,
Speaker 1: polar bears, white privilege. We didn't get to do that anything.
Speaker 1: So there you go. Oh my god, that was a
Speaker 1: weird booking. Boys, I love those people in the room.
Speaker 1: You know, we're the only ones from from Brooklyn. Boys,
Speaker 1: boys Glass, Okay, no, my mom's in Brooklyn. Don't tweet us.