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Speaker 1: We'll be right back after the break.

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Speaker 2: So Sam and I recently converted this podcast to anchor,

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Speaker 2: and it was so easy. I mean, Sam, I wish

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Speaker 2: all conversions with this easy, even spiritual ones.

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Speaker 1: So John, I actually called up the Church of Scientology

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Speaker 1: and asked, how can I convert Scientology Information Center?

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Speaker 2: How can I help you?

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Speaker 3: Hello? I saw one of your pamphlets and I was

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Speaker 3: wondering if I could get more information about like like

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Speaker 3: doing some kind of like converting or joining the group.

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Speaker 2: Okay, how do you check out our website?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 3: I have, and I was wondering, like, how how easy

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Speaker 3: is it to like attend one of these events?

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Speaker 2: I mean at this point you should read a book

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Speaker 2: or something.

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Speaker 3: Like that you can find out what it is that

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Speaker 3: sounds like a little difficult. I wish it was like

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Speaker 3: kind of easier, like converting to anchor. It's free and

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Speaker 3: you can use it from your phone or computer, and

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Speaker 3: it's the easiest way to make a podcast.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, do you have a.

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Speaker 2: Lot of time to waste?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 3: Actually, but it's creation tools allow you to record and

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Speaker 3: edit your podcast. So it sounds great and they'll distribute

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Speaker 3: it everywhere that podcast can be heard. Okay, So I'm

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Speaker 3: thinking that you have a lot of time on your

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Speaker 3: hands and you can make money from it too.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: But honestly, she didn't seem too thrilled with my line

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Speaker 3: of questioning.

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Speaker 1: But you know what should get you thrilled, The Anchor app.

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Speaker 3: You can download the Anchor app or visit anchor dot

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Speaker 3: fm to get started. Now back to the podcast.

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Speaker 2: Karen steals my blind friend's guide dog because she thinks

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Speaker 2: my friend is lying about being blind.

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Speaker 3: Okyop, this is Okayop. I'm Samuel Daughter and I'm John

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Speaker 3: Fry and we tell the funniest freaking stories on the internet.

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Speaker 3: I don't know anyone who's funnier. I don't either, No,

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Speaker 3: no one. Kevin Hart who no, Yeah, I've.

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Speaker 1: Never heard of him. Steve Carrell do you know?

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Speaker 2: Steve can't l a lost.

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Speaker 1: Can't tell els big l.

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Speaker 3: Well, you know, I don't think there is anyone else

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Speaker 3: you know, except us, exactly, John Frian, Samuel Daughter. We

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Speaker 3: just replaced every comedian ever known to man. Yeah, yeah, sorry,

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Speaker 3: sorry about that. It was It's like it's like the snap,

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Speaker 3: you know, and uh yeah.

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Speaker 2: With the.

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Speaker 3: Two comedians left the comedians around.

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Speaker 2: We're your only choice of entertainment. Now you're welcome.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Also we're like we've been seeing a lot of comments

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Speaker 3: recently from from TikTok and and YouTube saying like like

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Speaker 3: like I watch your show every day, like it means

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Speaker 3: so much to watch it, and you know, like like

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Speaker 3: I guess it's just making John and I feel like,

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Speaker 3: you know, we're making a difference exactly. So what we've

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Speaker 3: decided is we should be nominated for a Nobel Peace

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Speaker 3: Prize exactly.

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Speaker 2: I mean, if you think about it, global hunger, you know, famine,

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Speaker 2: Like what about jokes? What about what about Reddit stories?

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Speaker 3: Yeah it is any is food and like shelter really

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Speaker 3: worth it if you're not laughing. Exactly as we said,

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Speaker 3: the only two comedians left are.

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Speaker 2: So Maslow's Maslow's thing. It's, you know, shelter, food, Reddit stories,

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Speaker 2: Reddit stories number one.

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Speaker 1: You can he without redit story. So that is true.

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Speaker 1: That is true.

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Speaker 2: We have a great red a story for listeners.

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Speaker 1: Your god damn welcome.

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Speaker 2: So shall we dive into it?

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Speaker 1: Shall we? Let's do it?

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Speaker 2: Karen steals my blind friend's guide dog because she thinks

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Speaker 2: my friend is lying about being blind, like even if

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Speaker 2: she is, like, who steals someone's dog? Bro, bro, bro,

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Speaker 2: Why it's just it's just painful sometimes. So I have

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Speaker 2: a friend who is blind and uses a guide dog

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Speaker 2: to get around. I have a friend who is blind

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Speaker 2: and uses a guide dog. She was on the train

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Speaker 2: about to exit, and we were just texting and I

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Speaker 2: told her I was nearby. She called me and said

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Speaker 2: I needed to help her asap. While she was exiting

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Speaker 2: the train, someone had forcefully ripped the harness out of

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Speaker 2: her hand of her guide dog.

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Speaker 1: What bro Like, She definitely didn't see that coming.

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Speaker 2: It took me like a solid two seconds, so like

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Speaker 2: put it all together. Oh going to hell?

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Speaker 3: Oh God, all right, come on, give us that. That's

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Speaker 3: her ticket out of hell.

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Speaker 2: Nominates already now. Opie's friend knew that her dog was

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Speaker 2: close by. She could still hear him barking, but he

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Speaker 2: didn't return to her as he normally would in instances

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Speaker 2: when she would drop the harness. I ran over to

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Speaker 2: the platform that she was on and saw her standing

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Speaker 2: there helplessly.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, that's so sad, truly like this poor woman.

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Speaker 2: She's like, I don't know, you know, I can't find

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Speaker 2: my dog, and God, just madness. And then I saw

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Speaker 2: the dog. He was held by a woman and a

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Speaker 2: kid trying to pet him, but he barked and barked

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Speaker 2: trying to get away. You know, like if you have

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Speaker 2: a dog that's just like not about it.

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Speaker 1: Don't try to pet it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and also like that's no fun. Yeah, petting has

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Speaker 3: to be consensual. Go on, come on, concent we're putting

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Speaker 3: up the billboards right now. We need proper dog etiquette

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Speaker 3: like that. Also, you need to like you should probably

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Speaker 3: ask every time before you pet a dog.

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Speaker 2: Also for your own safety, like you don't know what

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Speaker 2: that dog, you know, has got.

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Speaker 1: Short short story.

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Speaker 3: So I have a friend Jessica, that has this devil

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Speaker 3: worshiper of a freaking dog. And she told me when

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Speaker 3: we went over, like, hey, you know, like my dog

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Speaker 3: has a tendency to be like to like nip sometimes. Right,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, like whatever, I've been around dogs. I've

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Speaker 3: been around dogs all my life. I think it's fine.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 3: I go over there, and it's a cute dog. I'm

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Speaker 3: not gonna lie, it's a cute dog dog, but it's

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Speaker 3: freaking deranged. And I went up and just give it

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Speaker 3: a little bit of like a little pet all of

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Speaker 3: a sudden, and it freaking goes for my eye and

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Speaker 3: it just lurches forward and it has permanently scarred my

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Speaker 3: right eyeball. Really, I can't close this eye fully anymore

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Speaker 3: because the eyeline is scarred. And so I'm like, bro,

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Speaker 3: you gotta get like you could not have your dog

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Speaker 3: around people like you know you sure like the warning

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Speaker 3: is one thing, but to still have your dog around

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Speaker 3: when you have guests over, like you're asking for someone

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Speaker 3: to to just get hurt, right, And so that happened

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Speaker 3: right then. Isabelle, my roommate, a couple days later, went

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Speaker 3: over and the dog took a chunk out of her

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Speaker 3: leg and she had to get go. She had to

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Speaker 3: go to the er. This dog is Satan incarnates. So

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Speaker 3: one always ask before you pet a dog. And two,

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Speaker 3: if someone says their dog nips, just assume that they

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Speaker 3: are Satan incarnate and that you should never go near

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Speaker 3: it by any means whatso ever, and it will kill you.

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Speaker 1: It has a chance.

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Speaker 2: Here's my question, though, how close was your face to

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Speaker 2: the dog's face?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Super close? That's totally no. No, but no, you're right right,

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Speaker 3: it was. It was my mistake. I should not have

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Speaker 3: trusted that spawn of Satan.

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Speaker 2: Dogs, like putting your face close to theirs is like

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Speaker 2: a sign of aggression, not even if you're being like

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Speaker 2: let me w potentially. So basically it was it was

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Speaker 2: your faults, John.

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Speaker 3: With all the dogs dog expert over here, idiot, I.

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Speaker 2: Know that's crazy. You can't close your right eye though,

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Speaker 2: So how do you sleep?

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Speaker 3: No? No, I can't, I can't. Sorry, I can't open

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Speaker 3: it all the way. Oh okay, I can't, Like I can't,

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Speaker 3: I guess I can't. Still, that's still like it's like slightly,

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Speaker 3: it's slightly, it's off. Okay, okay. Yeah, as bad as

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Speaker 3: stout to wink at you all the time, you just

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Speaker 3: never know. You're always always to suspense all right.

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Speaker 2: Back to our back to our friend and her dog,

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Speaker 2: her good, her good, well trained dog. So I ran

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Speaker 2: over to my friend and told her that I could

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Speaker 2: see her dog, and I led her to a nearby

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Speaker 2: bench where she could sit down, and then I went

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Speaker 2: over to the woman with the dog. I said, hey, sorry,

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Speaker 2: could you please give the dog back? It's a guide dog, which, like, honestly,

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Speaker 2: you can be less polite than that, dude, I would be.

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Speaker 1: Going over like, what the hell someone's dog?

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Speaker 2: This person is blind, she needs the dog to move around.

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Speaker 2: Good God, She snorted and said that she'd seen my

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Speaker 2: friend use all phone, so she's obviously not blind and

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Speaker 2: doesn't need the dog.

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Speaker 1: What are you talking about?

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Speaker 3: You know, there's like there's like accessibility on your phone

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Speaker 3: where you could you could like you could say if

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Speaker 3: you're blind or death or whatever. Exactly exactly, come on,

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Speaker 3: Apples thought of that ship apples on ahead of the game.

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Speaker 3: Lady Apple wants to put a phone in the hands

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Speaker 3: of every man when in child in the world. Do

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Speaker 3: you think blindness or deafness is going to stop them?

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Speaker 1: Truly?

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Speaker 2: This Karen is not is not worried about Apple's accessibility features.

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Speaker 1: Obviously not.

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Speaker 2: Now the dog knows me, so he tried to get

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Speaker 2: to me. I told her that my friend uses special

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Speaker 2: accessibility software on her phone, so she can use it.

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Speaker 1: Oh called it and to please give me the dog.

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Speaker 2: Then the kids started throwing a tantrum that caught the

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Speaker 2: eye of a trained service woman who came over and

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Speaker 2: asked what all the fuss was about. The mother tried

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Speaker 2: to claim that the dog was hers. Bro Bro, She's

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Speaker 2: trying to dog nap right now? God, oh God, I said,

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Speaker 2: that's nonsense. It's obviously a guide dog like it has

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Speaker 2: the hardest and everything on it. And if he was their's,

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Speaker 2: and firstly, why would he be trying to get away

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Speaker 2: from them? And secondly they should have the papers on

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Speaker 2: them to prove it. Give me the receipts lay it down, op.

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Speaker 2: And that my friend had all the papers on her.

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Speaker 2: The train service woman said that the harness could also

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Speaker 2: be a fake one, and he was wearing it as

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Speaker 2: a joke, and that maybe he was trying to get

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Speaker 2: away because I frightened him. Okay, train service woman, not

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Speaker 2: you two who.

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Speaker 3: Said do you want to and you're on the wrong

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Speaker 3: side of history. History is going to look back at

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Speaker 3: you and be like trade service woman who looks who looks.

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Speaker 2: At a guide dog harness and is like, oh, that

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Speaker 2: might be fake. It could be a joke.

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Speaker 3: Well, I don't know about the joke, but a lot

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Speaker 3: of people actually do do that to sneak their dogs

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Speaker 3: into places.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I see I know.

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Speaker 3: That because I know someone who does that, not me.

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Speaker 3: I don't have the dog. Yes, I know someone who

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Speaker 3: does that, a friend or a family. Oh, I won't

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Speaker 3: say which, keep I'm guessing. I then said, Okay, do

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Speaker 3: they know his name. Nice, that's a good one.

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Speaker 1: Let's go.

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Speaker 2: He is trained to respond to his name in a

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Speaker 2: special way. The tail points up, the ears straightened up,

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Speaker 2: and he comes to stand on the right side of you.

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Speaker 2: And if they called him by his name and he

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Speaker 2: did that, it would amaze me. Side note, I once

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Speaker 2: made the mistake of calling him by his name when

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Speaker 2: he was off duty and playing with me, as he

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Speaker 2: is allowed a few times a day when my friend

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Speaker 2: says he's safe and will stay in the spot for

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Speaker 2: a while. So basically she was playing with him and

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Speaker 2: he's just like playing.

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Speaker 1: Some soldier, like, well, do you're knowing?

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Speaker 2: So now, obviously they did not know his name, but

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Speaker 2: when I called him, he put his ears up, put

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Speaker 2: up his jail, and came to my side a.

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Speaker 1: Let's go, approved service woman. Now.

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Speaker 2: The train servicewoman then called the police, and first they

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Speaker 2: handed the dog back to my friend, and then they

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Speaker 2: had to look at the cameras they saw that the

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Speaker 2: Karen snatched the harness away right as my friend.

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Speaker 1: Was exiting the train. I mean, just what like you're

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Speaker 1: calling camera, bro, You're done.

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Speaker 2: For and just like again, just like how awful and

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Speaker 2: just ignorant of a human kid, like who just sees

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Speaker 2: a guide dog and is just like, I'm gonna take

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Speaker 2: it while this like blind person is at their most vulnerable.

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Speaker 3: And I also like, you know, if you're on a

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Speaker 3: train station, you're probably going somewhere to do something else.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like who in.

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Speaker 3: Their right mind is going to do whatever they're doing

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Speaker 3: in their life?

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Speaker 1: And then pauses, is like, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, today's the day I'm gonna steal some blind person's dog,

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Speaker 3: Like just selfishly, how do you divert that much attention

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Speaker 3: away from your whatever you're gonna do?

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Speaker 1: Truly stealing a dog.

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Speaker 2: Like you don't have appointment to get your kid to

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Speaker 2: or like school or work or anything.

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Speaker 3: And also you're just like is she just staying there?

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Speaker 3: She was just sitting there, just sitting there with the dog.

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Speaker 3: Why was she trying to leave? This is a bad

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Speaker 3: dog thief to maybe at least.

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Speaker 2: If you're going to be a dog, execute it well,

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Speaker 2: you know. And honestly, looking at this tape, it's a

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Speaker 2: wonder that my friend or the Karen didn't get hurt.

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Speaker 2: And that's why my blind friend press charges for assaults.

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Speaker 1: That is something I did see coming. All right, thank you.

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Speaker 1: Someone is actually making some sense, but.

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Speaker 2: The Karen only had to pay a fine in the

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Speaker 2: end because it was only her first offense.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well, at least she isn't stealing dogs in the

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Speaker 3: regular truly, or at least she hasn't been caught.

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Speaker 2: It hasn't been caught.

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Speaker 1: This is the first time.

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Speaker 2: And Opie finished this off by saying, what bugs me

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Speaker 2: the most is that none of the other passengers did anything.

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Speaker 1: They saw all of it happen, and no one stopped it.

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Speaker 1: See I actually so I was story related to that too.

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Speaker 2: I was.

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Speaker 3: I run it like five am right, yes, John John

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Speaker 3: knows it well. And I jump in the water and

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Speaker 3: then do just a couple of push ups, some pistol

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Speaker 3: squats and then I go back. And as I was

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Speaker 3: running back, I see these two guys that are biking together,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, oh, like, you know, friends biking together

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Speaker 3: in the morning, fun, right, And then one of the

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Speaker 3: guys crashes and falls, and the other guy keeps going like,

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Speaker 3: oh shit, like I should I need to help this guy?

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Speaker 3: That that felt right? But then I see the other

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Speaker 3: guy turning around to help his friend. I'm like, okay, like,

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Speaker 3: you know, he's clearly going to yeah, help help the guy, right,

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Speaker 3: And so then I continue to correct course and then

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Speaker 3: this this guy goes to this person on the ground

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Speaker 3: and says, you took my.

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Speaker 1: Drugs, man, and I'm like, oh my god.

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Speaker 3: And then like he starts like like roughing this dude

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Speaker 3: up and like like taking like pill bottles and like

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Speaker 3: syringes from this guy. And I'm like, you know, I

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Speaker 3: realized that it is no longer the morning. It is

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Speaker 3: actually the wee hours of the night for these people.

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Speaker 3: And I'm not sure whether I want to get involved.

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Speaker 3: And like now I'm having this moral quandary. Should I

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Speaker 3: help this person on the ground. Should I keep going?

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Speaker 3: Like do I want to get involved in a drug

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Speaker 3: deal gone wrong? And as I'm walking, like you know,

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Speaker 3: debating this, I'm walking, you know, in these these houses

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Speaker 3: and this is like right on the beach, so it's

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Speaker 3: pretty it's pretty nice houses. And I look to my

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Speaker 3: right and then I hear or I keep walking, and

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Speaker 3: then to my right I hear.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, what the fuck is that? And then

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Speaker 1: I turned to my right.

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Speaker 3: And there was a six four like three hundred pound

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Speaker 3: giant white dude looking at me going.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh my God.

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Speaker 3: And then I look down and I realize he is

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Speaker 3: completely naked.

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Speaker 1: Like okay, I gotta get out of here.

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Speaker 3: And then I start like I actually, you know, I

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Speaker 3: was just walking now actually running away getting my work

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Speaker 3: at it. You know, thank you guy for making me

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Speaker 3: run faster. But I'm like, holy crap, Like, why is

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Speaker 3: the early morning is weird? Bro? The early morning is weird.

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Speaker 3: And I'm not sure if I should have gotten involved

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Speaker 3: in that. So, like I understand that when you're in

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Speaker 3: a large city where you don't really understand the context

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Speaker 3: of different uh uh different fights and such like, it's

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Speaker 3: it's a it's a crapshoot.

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Speaker 1: Whether you should get involved.

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Speaker 2: Dude, that is absolutely insane.

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Speaker 3: I know, I know I was. I was literally like

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Speaker 3: I was scared by the noise. Yeah, and then I

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Speaker 3: saw that he was naked. I'm like, okay, I I

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Speaker 3: gotta get.

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Speaker 1: To I would have.

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Speaker 2: I would have.

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Speaker 3: I would have just like healed what I did. I

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Speaker 3: ran as fast as I could, did a did a

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Speaker 3: six minute mile.

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Speaker 2: And you don't know, like he Bro is six foot four,

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Speaker 2: like maybe he's some like x NFL person.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he was big.

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Speaker 3: He was big, like big bulls both vertically and horizontally

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Speaker 3: like this man was loge man. I understand not wanting

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Speaker 3: to get involved in uh in fights on the street, but.

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Speaker 2: You know what you do want to get involved with?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, get up all in that business you want to

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Speaker 1: get involved with.

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Speaker 2: Clicking that subscribe button, Ladies and gentlemen.

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Speaker 3: Like subscribe on YouTube, follow us on the podcast on Spotify,

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Speaker 3: Apple podcasts wherever. And also if you really want to

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Speaker 3: be oh, make sure to subscribe to us on Patreon.

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Speaker 3: And also we have like three Patreon subscribers.

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Speaker 2: Happy quickly is no longer.

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Speaker 1: No longer the other one? Can we can we get

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Speaker 1: a shout out other people?

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Speaker 3: This is so sick like I'll like John and I

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Speaker 3: genuinely really appreciate the support for every like everyone that's

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00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:44,720
Speaker 3: like been coming super early. You know, it's it's awesome,

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00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,960
Speaker 3: it's keeping us going, it's making us really excited.

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Speaker 1: John, John hasn't pulled up right now, jentlemen, all.

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Speaker 2: Right, we have of course og Katty.

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Speaker 3: We have Keegan Simmons, let's go Simmons and Simmerin Simmons

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Speaker 3: always giving us the hottest, hottest supporter around.

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Speaker 2: Then we have desiree in Canterbury.

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Speaker 3: Desire you are a dessert to me because that's the

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Speaker 3: port tastes so so good.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh boy. Thank you guys, and if you want

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00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,919
Speaker 2: to join us on Patreon, patreon dot com, backslash okay op.

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Speaker 1: Show Yeah I support.

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Speaker 3: We'll make sure you shout We shout you out in

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Speaker 3: the episodes, that's right. And there's more goodies to come soon.

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Speaker 2: That's right. And with that, we'll see you next time.