1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: Let's get it. Let's get it. Buggle up, hold on tight, 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:06,760 Speaker 1: we got it for you. Here it is the Strawberry letter. Alright, 3 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:11,119 Speaker 1: subject he has never satisfied. I really don't know what 4 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:13,760 Speaker 1: to do. I need a man's perspective on this issue. 5 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,240 Speaker 1: At thirty four and I've been happily married for almost 6 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:20,799 Speaker 1: five years, we have no children. My husband and I 7 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 1: are very much in love. Most of our friends idolize 8 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:26,279 Speaker 1: our relationship. People say we look like we're in love. 9 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: The problem is that he is not satisfied with me sexually. OK, 10 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 1: here's a line that gets me though. We do it 11 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:38,400 Speaker 1: four to six times a week full time. He works 12 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,960 Speaker 1: full time and goes to the gym. I work full 13 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: time and go to school full time. Sometimes I am 14 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 1: so tired it is all I can do not to 15 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,279 Speaker 1: fall asleep during the day. I know my husband has 16 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,600 Speaker 1: an enormous sex drive. Mine is not as big. However, 17 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,200 Speaker 1: I do please him four to six times a week. 18 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 1: Anything goes and there are no inhibitions. Every once in 19 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: a while, I just did not have the energy to 20 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:05,960 Speaker 1: do anything. He feels I'm neglecting him, and I feel 21 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 1: he's being incentitive to the daily demands. I face every day. 22 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:12,760 Speaker 1: I work with juvenile delinquents and that is stressful. I 23 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,640 Speaker 1: deal with prejudice classmates who believe a black woman doesn't 24 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,400 Speaker 1: deserve to acquire anything in this world. And I come 25 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,680 Speaker 1: home to a man who gets upset if I don't 26 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: give in. Let's say give in, because it seems as 27 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 1: if I'm performing a job and it is not from 28 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:30,760 Speaker 1: mutual enjoyment. There is no spontaneity on his part and 29 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:35,319 Speaker 1: it's the same routine all the time. Now, come home, bathe, inimacy, homework, 30 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:39,120 Speaker 1: and sleep. I am not always ready for intimacy, but 31 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,479 Speaker 1: that soon changes. What should I do to make him 32 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 1: understand that it is okay if I say no, and 33 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:47,320 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean I'm not attracted to him, but really tired. 34 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,920 Speaker 1: He does things to ease the load, like housework and cooking, 35 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: but it seems like it's done only to make time 36 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: for me to be intimate with me and not for 37 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 1: me to relax. I really don't know what to do, 38 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 1: and we have been having this problem for the last 39 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 1: three years of our marriage, since I've gone back to school. 40 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 1: In parentheses, it's not an issue. It was not an 41 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 1: issue before that. This is my last year of school. 42 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 1: I'm in the honor Society. It has taken me a 43 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,080 Speaker 1: long time to achieve this goal. I need all the 44 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 1: support I can get from him, and I feel more 45 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 1: stressed than anything. It is important to remember he is 46 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,640 Speaker 1: a good man and better than most. The only issue 47 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,360 Speaker 1: is sometimes sex. Should I go on strike or what? 48 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: Thank you for anything? You and Shirley can tell me? 49 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:38,079 Speaker 1: Really perplexed? Ye? Okay, really perplexed. Yeah, okay, really perplexed. 50 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 1: Let's start. Let's start by saying, alright, listen, I have 51 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 1: a good memory, Thank you very much. Don't let be quiet. 52 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 1: See all right, Let's start by saying, you have what 53 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,880 Speaker 1: a whole lot of women want. A man with a 54 00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 1: healthy sex drive who helps with the housework and cooks. Okay, 55 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 1: four to six times a week. It is going on 56 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,960 Speaker 1: in your house. Let me just say that. And you know, 57 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 1: we don't get a letters a lot of letters like this. 58 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 1: We really really don't. And I don't want to just 59 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 1: dismiss your problem and say, girl, be thankful for your 60 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:17,239 Speaker 1: good man and stop complaining because your issue is real 61 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: to you. And what I hear you saying is you're 62 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,920 Speaker 1: tired in stress because you have a heavy load you 63 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 1: talked about it. You got work, you got school, and 64 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:27,679 Speaker 1: all this sex. I commend you for your and all 65 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: the sex. I command you for your hard work. I 66 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: do commend you for that and encourage you to hang 67 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: in there and finish. Okay, come on, come on, listen, listen. 68 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: But because you say shut up, Steve, because you say 69 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,920 Speaker 1: he didn't act like this before you went to school, 70 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: before you went back to school, I'm thinking he's feeling 71 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 1: probably insecure, maybe a little intimidated by all of this, 72 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: the constant sex, regardless of how you're feeling, maybe helping 73 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: him to, you know, keep a grip on who's the man. Okay, 74 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: he might be feeling like you're he's losing you or something. Um, 75 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 1: and you probably are neglecting him. I gotta be honest 76 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 1: with you. I mean, how can you not. You're on 77 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 1: the honor society, You've got homework, you got all this 78 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: stuff going on. So um, you know, it may not 79 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 1: it may not be intentional. Though, it may not be intentional. 80 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 1: It may not be intentional. It may not be intentional. 81 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 1: But no, I but it may not be intentional. You know, 82 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,679 Speaker 1: sometimes you do things and you don't even realize it. 83 00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:33,039 Speaker 1: But tired or not tired, or I do think that 84 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 1: you should not go on strike. I don't think you 85 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 1: should go on strike. I really don't actual neglected him 86 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,719 Speaker 1: and doing six. She might be she she's got a 87 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:46,160 Speaker 1: lot going on, She's got a lot. Six day, seven days, 88 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:52,279 Speaker 1: seven days, seven days. He might be feeling like that. 89 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 1: She might not be, you know, she might not. I 90 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:57,600 Speaker 1: don't think she's doing it intentional, of course, not anyway. 91 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 1: She just needs to do a friendly machine down tell 92 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:09,719 Speaker 1: him you love him a little bit more. Yes, you 93 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 1: ain't saying no. I didn't have a reply, and now 94 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: I don't down talk to him, stroking sego a little 95 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: bit more. What he's feeling intimidated because she's getting all 96 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:28,240 Speaker 1: this education. He thinks he's losing her. That's what it is. Okay, 97 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,040 Speaker 1: come on, Steve, let's get part two of your response 98 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 1: to today's Strawberry letter. Here we go, subject, he is 99 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:39,640 Speaker 1: never satisfied. I really don't know what to do. I 100 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 1: need a man's perspective on this issue. You don't. I'm 101 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,719 Speaker 1: thirty or four years old, I'm happily married for almost 102 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,360 Speaker 1: five years. We have no children. My husband now very 103 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,760 Speaker 1: much in love. He is not satisfied with me sexually. 104 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 1: We do it four to six times a week. He 105 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: worked full time and go to the gym. I work 106 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: full time and go to school for time. Sometimes I'm 107 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,040 Speaker 1: so tired it's all I can do not to fall 108 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 1: asleep during the day. I know my husband has an 109 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 1: enormous sex life and mine is not as big. However 110 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,280 Speaker 1: I do please him pholt to six times. We are 111 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:21,600 Speaker 1: change that life any time anything goes and there's no inhibitions. 112 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 1: Every once in a while, I just do not have 113 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 1: the energy to do anything. He feels like I'm neglecting here, 114 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,720 Speaker 1: and I feel like he's being insensitive to the daily 115 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 1: demands I face every day. I work with Ju and 116 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:34,479 Speaker 1: A the Lincolns, and this is stressful. I deal with 117 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,160 Speaker 1: prejudent classmate who believe a black woman don't deserve to 118 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:39,599 Speaker 1: quite nothing in this. Well, now I come home to 119 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 1: a man who gets upset if I don't give, he 120 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 1: give in. I just give in cause it seems if 121 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,159 Speaker 1: I am performing a job and it's not for mutual enjoyment, 122 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,160 Speaker 1: there's no spontaneity on his part, and it is the 123 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 1: same routine all the time. Come home, babe. Innimacy homework, 124 00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 1: a sleep. I'm not always ready for intimacy, but that's soon, Angels. 125 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,360 Speaker 1: What should I do to make him understand that it's 126 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,640 Speaker 1: okay if I say no, and it don't mean I'm 127 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,159 Speaker 1: not attracting to him. But I'm really tired. He tells 128 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,000 Speaker 1: things easy to work long at the house, like cooking, cleaning, 129 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: but I've seen he's done only this to make time 130 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 1: for me and be intimate with him, and not for 131 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,080 Speaker 1: me to relax. I really don't know what to do. 132 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,920 Speaker 1: Good boys than this house you got now? Look if 133 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 1: it's important to remember he is a good man and 134 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,400 Speaker 1: better than most. The only issue sometimes say should I 135 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 1: gonna strike? Or what? Thank you for anything? You and 136 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,640 Speaker 1: Shirley can really tell me? First of all, you in 137 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 1: love and in a relationship with a sex crazy man 138 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 1: six times a week. You are putting to the test 139 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 1: by a man who works and go to the gym. Now, Shirley, 140 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,360 Speaker 1: I got a point out to you. She didn't say 141 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 1: that he wasn't like this before they got married. He 142 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 1: would just saying She just saying it wasn't a problem 143 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 1: for they got mad. But see, when you ain't mad, 144 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 1: you don't stay at the house It's different when you 145 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 1: having sex six times at the house and he stayed there. 146 00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 1: It's that see you dropping by going home when you 147 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: live apart. But when you're in the same house and 148 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,400 Speaker 1: you come through the dough you dog tied, you kick 149 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,520 Speaker 1: your shoes off, and standing at the foot of the 150 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 1: stepped in riding just standing there, got his hand pockets, 151 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:16,120 Speaker 1: he just looking at you. He got a vacuum cleaning 152 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 1: one hand and two dishes in the other. He haven't 153 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: done everything at the house. He didn't pick len off 154 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 1: the bed. Y'all ain't got no kids because he don't 155 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 1: want no kids, because they're gonna get in the damn way. 156 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,680 Speaker 1: See if you have to change some divers and do 157 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 1: some homework like I gotta do, and then put a 158 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: baby in the bed, it ain't time for all that. Hell, 159 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,080 Speaker 1: he'll be tied to. Your solution to this whole thing 160 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: is have yourself a set of twins that has slow 161 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 1: all down. We're cut back on all that. What he 162 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 1: want to do, he gonna try to not even come home. 163 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,320 Speaker 1: Sometimes you're in a bad situation. Look here here the 164 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 1: code part right now, this is a bad situation. This 165 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 1: is a bad situation. If you ever six six times, 166 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,320 Speaker 1: and you don't want to fold of him. That's a 167 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 1: bad situation. See, not no sex is bad, but too 168 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:08,679 Speaker 1: much is bad too here to keep on. They the 169 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 1: friends and think they just they idolized their relationship. Or 170 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,080 Speaker 1: she's saying that they don't know half the hell I'm 171 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: catching at this ouse. He ain't satisfied with me sexually. 172 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,959 Speaker 1: It ain't that he ain't satisfied with yourself sexually. Baby, 173 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 1: he ain't satisfied with itself. I could do a million 174 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 1: jokes on you, but HOMEBOYD just ain't satisfied with itself. 175 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 1: And he's trying to prove a point. See he's shot 176 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 1: in another category and trying to big in this category. 177 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: All right, thank you, Steve. You know we gotta get 178 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 1: out of here. Please join me at one thirty one thirty. 179 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,320 Speaker 1: It is going down today The Strawberry Letter Live After 180 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 1: Show on Facebook. You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show.