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Speaker 1: What I can say about about being black is that

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Speaker 1: it does not come with any luxuries. The luxuries that

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Speaker 1: media may may say is a luxury, it's not. Because

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Speaker 1: of the way America is set up. Those things that

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Speaker 1: we may be naturally good at it, that we may

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Speaker 1: have naturally are oftentimes the things that save us or

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Speaker 1: put us in better situations. And it's not a luxury.

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Speaker 1: It's all we've got. Happy Monday, guys. I hope you're

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Speaker 1: having a good start to your week. Uh. If you notice,

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Speaker 1: you are only hearing my voice on the mike today,

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Speaker 1: and that is because I have a bit of news

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Speaker 1: for y'all who are regular listeners um to the podcast.

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Speaker 1: If this is your first episode, then it won't really matter.

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Speaker 1: But if it's not and you've been falling along, it

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Speaker 1: might matter a little bit to you. So after some

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Speaker 1: hard conversations and time, Megan has decided to step away

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Speaker 1: from the podcast. If you've been listening from the beginning,

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Speaker 1: you'll remember that I started the podcast by myself, and

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Speaker 1: after recording with Megan, we thought it would be really

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Speaker 1: fun to do this thing together, and really, I'm being honest,

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Speaker 1: it was really fun. However, life is changing and both

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Speaker 1: Megan and I have to be very cognizant of what

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Speaker 1: and how we spend our time and energy on because

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Speaker 1: we are human, and also because of the nature of

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Speaker 1: our jobs and our careers. So both of our lives

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Speaker 1: are moving and changing a lot. You guys know you've

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Speaker 1: heard Megan talk about her getting married and all of that.

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Speaker 1: That looks like, um, we no longer work in the

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Speaker 1: same office, and there's just a lot of things have

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Speaker 1: me in my life as well, and everything is happening fast,

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Speaker 1: and so Megan just decided that she wants and needs

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Speaker 1: to put her energy into things that best move her

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Speaker 1: into the career and direction and personal space she wants

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Speaker 1: to be in. And that is okay. What I want

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Speaker 1: everybody to know is that there is no juicy gossip here.

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Speaker 1: There's there was no fight, there's no fallout that. There

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Speaker 1: was just a bunch of conversations of us trying to

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Speaker 1: make this work and get both of our needs met,

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Speaker 1: and then a conversation where we realized that that was

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Speaker 1: not possible. We are still friends. I'm sure she'll be

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Speaker 1: a guest on the podcast again. There is nothing um

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Speaker 1: negative to say about what happened. We just both decided

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Speaker 1: that there's not space for all of the things we

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Speaker 1: want in every area of our life, and sometimes you

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Speaker 1: have to pick and choose. And Megan just decided to

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Speaker 1: pick and choose, and that's fine. So UM we love

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Speaker 1: what she has given to us, and I would encourage

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Speaker 1: you to continue to follow her and and um keep

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Speaker 1: her as part of your online community if that's something

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Speaker 1: that you value. And UM we wish for the best.

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Speaker 1: Now to the episode, So I am very excited about

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Speaker 1: this episode, and to be honest, I also very fearful

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Speaker 1: and anxious the past couple of weeks. I know I

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Speaker 1: have had no shortage of feelings. I also know that

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Speaker 1: many of you have had no shortage of feelings. So

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Speaker 1: this episode is going to be a little bit different

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Speaker 1: than really what I'm used to doing. I'm well aware

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Speaker 1: that this episode is going to be an episode that

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Speaker 1: can and will result in some disagreement and a loss

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Speaker 1: of some listeners, and I'm okay with that. The past

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Speaker 1: couple of weeks have woken me up in a new way,

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Speaker 1: and I feel a lot of guilt myself about the

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Speaker 1: luxury I've had I have been in, I've been able

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Speaker 1: to be in as I have been able to ignore

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Speaker 1: the issues that are finally being taken seriously today in

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Speaker 1: regards to the black community and just race in general,

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Speaker 1: and my white privilege. At the same time, this episode

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Speaker 1: isn't really about me. It's not really about my guilt.

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Speaker 1: This episode is about figuring out what we can do

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Speaker 1: and what I can do as a white person in

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Speaker 1: order to stop making things about me. So I wanted

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Speaker 1: to open up a space for a very real conversation.

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Speaker 1: I've been having somebody who's pretty close to me, and

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Speaker 1: we've been having um a string of conversations over the

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Speaker 1: past couple of weeks. And I'm going to ask this

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Speaker 1: person some questions that's been that have been coming up

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Speaker 1: for me, and also questions that have been coming up

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Speaker 1: from my friends and community, questions that they would be

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Speaker 1: hesitant to bring up or ask themselves. Before we get started,

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Speaker 1: I do have a couple of things I want to

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Speaker 1: say about white privilege and about the Black Lives Matter

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Speaker 1: movement that's happening right now. There is no way we

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Speaker 1: can deny that white privilege is a thing. White privilege

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Speaker 1: is a thing. It's a real thing. And and before

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Speaker 1: we get into this conversation that I recorded, there are

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Speaker 1: a couple of things I want to say. One, what

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Speaker 1: is white privilege? For a lot of people, This is

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Speaker 1: a new concept and a concept that at first was

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Speaker 1: a little bit confusing. It might still be confusing now.

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Speaker 1: So having white privilege and recognizing it is not recognizing

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Speaker 1: that you're racist. It doesn't mean that you're racist. Having

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Speaker 1: white privileg doesn't mean that you're racist. But white privilege

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Speaker 1: exists because of historic, enduring racism and bias. So one,

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Speaker 1: what is a bias? A bias is a conscious or

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Speaker 1: unconscious prejudice against an individual or a group based on

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Speaker 1: their identity. Okay, And then what is racism? Racism is

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Speaker 1: what happens when those bias or those beliefs translate into action.

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Speaker 1: For example, UM, a person might unconsciously believe that a

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Speaker 1: person of color is more likely to commit a crime

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Speaker 1: or be dangerous. That that would be a bias that

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Speaker 1: somebody would have. Um, that person might become anxious if

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Speaker 1: they perceive a black person is angry. That stems from

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Speaker 1: a bias. These biases become racism through actions raging all

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Speaker 1: over the place. So a person crosses the street to

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Speaker 1: avoid walking next to a group of black people, A

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Speaker 1: person calls one to report, um, a black person who

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Speaker 1: isn't really doing anything wrong, They just suspected because of

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Speaker 1: the color of their skin. So if you see like

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Speaker 1: you have your bias, like in your head, your unco

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Speaker 1: and most of the time they're unconscious because they've been

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Speaker 1: passed down and then it turns into racism when we

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Speaker 1: take this bias and then we act upon them. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So back to white privilege. We have been given white

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Speaker 1: privilege based on, like I said, the historic during racism

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Speaker 1: and bias, So the things that have been going on

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Speaker 1: and just the things that haven't passed down from generations

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Speaker 1: about different groups of people. White privilege we have because

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Speaker 1: of those biased White privilege doesn't mean you're a racist,

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Speaker 1: but we have it because that exists. So what is it.

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Speaker 1: It is not the assumption that everything a white person

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Speaker 1: has accomplished is not earned themselves. A lot of times

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Speaker 1: white people are successful because they have worked hard. That

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Speaker 1: is not what we're saying, and I talked about that

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Speaker 1: in the podcast. But white privilege is really should be

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Speaker 1: viewed as it's like a built in advantage that we

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Speaker 1: get to have separate of anything else. It's almost like

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Speaker 1: we get to start three steps ahead, or like we

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Speaker 1: don't have to take three steps that otherwise people of

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Speaker 1: color would have to take, if that makes any sense,

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Speaker 1: And and we'll talk more about it. But I think

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Speaker 1: it's hard for people to have these conversations around white

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Speaker 1: privilege because we want to say, oh, we're not racist.

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Speaker 1: But hold on, wait, we're not saying that you're racist.

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Speaker 1: We're saying that you just have an extra edge that

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Speaker 1: other people don't. And at the same time, let's really

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Speaker 1: look at that defensiveness of oh, I'm not racist, because

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Speaker 1: there could be an unconscious bias that you have, not

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Speaker 1: because you're a bad person, just because of the world

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Speaker 1: you grew up in. So UM we're going to look

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Speaker 1: at that. And again, you're not a bad person for

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Speaker 1: having white privilege. You can't help it. I don't want

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Speaker 1: you to think anything that we're saying in this UM

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Speaker 1: podcast is saying that you're a bad person or sending

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Speaker 1: the message that white people are bad, because that's not true.

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Speaker 1: And then, thirdly, this episode is not about making me

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Speaker 1: feel better like I said about my guilt, or making

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Speaker 1: you feel better. It's not about any of that. This

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Speaker 1: episode is in no way to an attempt to better

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Speaker 1: white people or take care of white people's feelings. We're

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Speaker 1: all set when it comes to that, like, we're good.

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Speaker 1: This is not about us. Yes, we have to take

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Speaker 1: care of ourselves. And there are so many episodes that

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Speaker 1: are all about you taking care of you. This is

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Speaker 1: not if you're a white person. This is not about

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Speaker 1: you taking care of you. Okay, It's about figuring out

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Speaker 1: how and what we need to do to help the

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Speaker 1: black community and other communities that have been oppressed because

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Speaker 1: of our privilege, not because they're less than us us

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Speaker 1: being white people, but because they have been treated like

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Speaker 1: they are less than us. So this week I have

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Speaker 1: somebody really special on the show. His name is Paul

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Speaker 1: Gator and Um. He mentions this himself a couple of times,

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Speaker 1: but you can find him on Instagram Paul p a

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Speaker 1: U L the Gator g A I T E r Um.

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Speaker 1: I'm laughing because yeah, just go follow him. Um. I'm

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Speaker 1: at Paul about a year and a half ago and

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Speaker 1: we have had somewhat of an interesting relationship. But in

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Speaker 1: the past couple of weeks I have learned so much

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Speaker 1: from him. He has opened up a space for me

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Speaker 1: to ask and feel comfortable and feel okay being uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: He has taught me some really tough things and has

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Speaker 1: opened my eyes in a lot of new ways. And

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Speaker 1: here's the thing, he actually didn't have to do any

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Speaker 1: of that, and he also didn't have to come talk

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Speaker 1: on the podcast either. I'm well aware of how much

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Speaker 1: this isn't his job to sit with me while I

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Speaker 1: navigate my unconscious bias, but he did, and I am so,

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Speaker 1: so so grateful for him doing that. Now, the last

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Speaker 1: thing I'm going to say before we jump into our

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Speaker 1: conversation is that you don't have to agree with everything

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Speaker 1: we talked about, and if you feel triggered during the episode,

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Speaker 1: I would encourage you to take a break, process the information,

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Speaker 1: and then come back to it later. If you feel

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Speaker 1: uncomfortable during the episode, good, That is pretty much the point.

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Speaker 1: If you are a white person and feel uncomfortable, we

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Speaker 1: have to start getting uncomfortable because our comfort has been

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Speaker 1: keeping our black friends uncomfortable for years and change is

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Speaker 1: not going to happen if we if we choose to

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Speaker 1: stay in this comfort zone. Now, before I bring um

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Speaker 1: this conversation with Paul on, he did ask me at

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Speaker 1: the end of the of the conversation he brought this up.

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Speaker 1: He asked me to ask you all to think about

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Speaker 1: and imagine what he looks like. He I'll give you

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Speaker 1: a couple. He's a black man and he's six one.

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Speaker 1: So if you want to take a mental note of

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Speaker 1: what comes up for you imagery wise when you imagine

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Speaker 1: him before he gets talking, and then, UM, continue to

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Speaker 1: think about that throughout the episode, and then we'll go

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Speaker 1: full circle to that at the end. And and now,

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Speaker 1: without any more waiting, here is my conversation with Paul.

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Speaker 1: All Right, welcome Paul. So I already talked about Paul

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Speaker 1: in the intros. You guys kind of have a little

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Speaker 1: bit of background of who he is, UM and how

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Speaker 1: I kind of know him. But I would like to

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Speaker 1: give him a chance before we get started. Uh tell

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Speaker 1: what he would want us to know about him before

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Speaker 1: we have this conversation. So what would you like the

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Speaker 1: people listening to know specifically about you? UM That I'm

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Speaker 1: just a regular guy. UM come from a uh the

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Speaker 1: average American family. My mother was a school teacher, my

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Speaker 1: father was a pastor, and UM born and raised throughout

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Speaker 1: the Southeast. UM. So the dirty South is some people

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Speaker 1: call it, UM and I've literally lived in every state.

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Speaker 1: UM in the southeast. Really, yes, what does that? What

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Speaker 1: does the southeast encompassed Florida, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, Alabama. You

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Speaker 1: live in Mississippi, Tennessee. That's all within the southeast, tonalgia,

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Speaker 1: What is that? What is that is that except from Mississippi? Wait,

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Speaker 1: you live in Mississippi when years ago I didn't know that. Well,

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Speaker 1: you don't know everything. I finding that I'm learning a

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Speaker 1: lot of things about you. One more thing I would

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Speaker 1: want you guys to know before we had this conversation

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Speaker 1: is that I am only three generations away from slavery.

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Speaker 1: My grandmother's father was born a slave. Now, how that

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Speaker 1: works for me is my grandmother had my mother when

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Speaker 1: she was forty two years old. My mom is the

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Speaker 1: youngest of seven children. Um. So, my grandmother was born

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Speaker 1: in nineteen o nine and my grandmother's father was born

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Speaker 1: in eighteen sixty four. The Emancipation Proclamation was signed in

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Speaker 1: eighteen sixty three, but the last news did not get

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Speaker 1: to all of the slave plantations until eighteen sixty five,

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Speaker 1: which is the record on record. UM juneteenth. If you

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Speaker 1: guys ever heard of juneteenth, that is the last date

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Speaker 1: that UM Uh, the that slaves were actually finally free

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Speaker 1: here in America. That's how close slavery is to me.

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Speaker 1: So when you say that, so I've got some stories. Yeah. Well,

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Speaker 1: and so when you say that, and what do you

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Speaker 1: want people to hear and the fact that your great

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Speaker 1: grandfather was born into slavery? That I hear something very loud.

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Speaker 1: There's a laugh that I think I want people to hear.

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Speaker 1: I think number one is that it wasn't that long ago, right, um,

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Speaker 1: for everybody in this country, right? For some people, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there are several generations. For me, there's only three. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't that long ago, which means that the trauma is

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Speaker 1: very fresh, right, which also means that there is no

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Speaker 1: you know, obviously there's no time where it takes for

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Speaker 1: someone to get over something. I mean, that's what I

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Speaker 1: heard is that, like, this isn't an old issue. This

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Speaker 1: is like a current issue. It's modern. It's very modern.

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Speaker 1: So I think that is a good piece of information

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Speaker 1: to think about as Paul is talking through all these things,

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Speaker 1: is that we might get the luxury of being like

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Speaker 1: it was so far ago, but technology is fast. Just

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Speaker 1: because we have FaceTime now doesn't mean that you know,

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Speaker 1: It wasn't that long ago that slaves were that to

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Speaker 1: be a slave was it was like a legal thing

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Speaker 1: in this country. It's only recently been illegal, and there

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Speaker 1: was still illegal slavery years after that, right, So okay,

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Speaker 1: So I asked everybody the same couple of questions before

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Speaker 1: we get started. The first question I would like to

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Speaker 1: ask you, or I'm going to ask you. One of

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Speaker 1: them is have you ever been to therapy? Yes? You have? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I believe in it. We believe in it. It is

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Speaker 1: wonderful when it's the first time you went. The first

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Speaker 1: time I ever went to therapy was I want to

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Speaker 1: say about three years ago. I'm a I'm a new

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Speaker 1: believer in theory. I won't say I'm a new believer. Um.

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Speaker 1: I think I think I yeah, I knew a new goer.

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Speaker 1: I think I always believe in therapy and always believe

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Speaker 1: that it was it was something that was crucial and

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Speaker 1: vital um for for mental health. Um. But but you

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Speaker 1: never had a reason to go. Oh No, I had

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Speaker 1: reasons to go. I definitely had reasons to go um

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Speaker 1: um from you know, different trip back experiences that I

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Speaker 1: that I had growing up. But it wasn't until my

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Speaker 1: adult life. I kind of like got to a place

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Speaker 1: where it was important for me to understand why I

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Speaker 1: do these things or why I am the way that

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Speaker 1: I am, and in having a therapist to guide me

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Speaker 1: through those deep emotional spaces was very important. Yeah, did

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Speaker 1: you have a male or female therapist? At a female therapist?

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Speaker 1: Did you want a female therapist? I wanted a therapist.

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Speaker 1: It didn't matter, didn't matter, it didn't matter, um, because

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Speaker 1: at at the state that I will say, yeah, I was,

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Speaker 1: I was ready to cry out. I was willing. Um,

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Speaker 1: And I think, uh, of course, for it takes time

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Speaker 1: for for for people to get to that point where

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Speaker 1: they are willing. But I was so broken that it

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Speaker 1: didn't matter who I spoke to. I just wanted someone

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Speaker 1: to listen. So yeah, I was, I was willing and

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Speaker 1: uh yeah cool. Thanks for sharing that. That's a great movie.

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Speaker 1: By the way, Well, thanks for sharing. I've seen That's

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Speaker 1: so good. I've seen that like a hundred times. Really, Um,

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Speaker 1: I was told I was told to watch it when

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Speaker 1: I was in grad school. As it is a good

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Speaker 1: because there's so many movies that have addiction in the movie,

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Speaker 1: but it's not really what it looks like but that movie,

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Speaker 1: is it? Yes, it's so freak good. Um, I forgot

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Speaker 1: about that movie. Um, okay, all right, what we're going

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Speaker 1: to do today? I will say I usually do not

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Speaker 1: get nervous or anxious when I do these podcasts because

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Speaker 1: I usually am I know what I'm talking about and

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Speaker 1: I'm the expert, and don't really think much about the episodes.

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Speaker 1: I just I'm like, this is what we're gonna do.

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Speaker 1: I know what we're going to talk about. So here

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Speaker 1: we go this one. I will say, as I have

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Speaker 1: told you, I have heightened anxiety over my normal anxiety.

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Speaker 1: And so the other day Paul and I maybe a

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Speaker 1: week or two weeks ago, had a conversation. We started

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Speaker 1: to have a series of conversations about, um, the differences

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Speaker 1: of being black and white in America and what that

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Speaker 1: looks like and feels like based on each of our exchanges.

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Speaker 1: So Paul's black, I'm white, and I have learned many

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Speaker 1: things from him in the last two weeks, some of

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Speaker 1: which I will say, I've had a little bit of, like, well,

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Speaker 1: not a little bit, I think a lot of bit

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Speaker 1: of shame and guilt and sadness over me learning this

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Speaker 1: at thirty rather than learning it when that was probably

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Speaker 1: more appropriate to learn it, like when I was born,

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Speaker 1: or when I was a kid, or any other time,

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Speaker 1: but when you're a thirty. So today, what we're gonna

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Speaker 1: do is talk about some of those things that I

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Speaker 1: have learned, and then also asks asked some questions that

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Speaker 1: I have gotten from friends and clients and just people

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Speaker 1: on the inner webs. And we're just going to have

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Speaker 1: a conversation and I'm probably going to say something that

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Speaker 1: is wrong or offensive or I don't know, probably just

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Speaker 1: going to say some things. What I wanted to start

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Speaker 1: with is I want Paul to explain when I went

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Speaker 1: to your house and I which obviously I would have

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Speaker 1: loved to know what you were really thinking. And I

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Speaker 1: was talking to you about the stuff the other week,

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Speaker 1: and you said, you said two things. One do you

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Speaker 1: mind if I share some of this one? And if

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Speaker 1: I share something you're like, oh, I don't want you

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Speaker 1: to say that. We can take it out. But it

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Speaker 1: one you kind of laughed at me. Do you remember

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Speaker 1: doing that and what I took from that and what

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Speaker 1: I remember if I could have made some of this

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Speaker 1: up and just like my anxiety brain, but you just

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Speaker 1: being like you said, like, I'm not really laughing at you,

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Speaker 1: but it's funny because like you are so anxious and

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Speaker 1: worried about this, and like this is just my life.

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Speaker 1: Remember saying that, And I thought that was very impactful

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Speaker 1: for me and for one. And I think a lot

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Speaker 1: of mitras of white people are feeling that they are

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Speaker 1: so anxious to talk or do something or not do

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Speaker 1: something because of what any black person is going to think.

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Speaker 1: And we don't want to keep doing the wrong thing.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know that you guys, I'm not sure.

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Speaker 1: I'm I really don't know. And the other thing you

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Speaker 1: said is you can only speak for yourself because you're

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Speaker 1: not every black person. So I do want to say

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Speaker 1: at but I'm not. I would like to know how

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Speaker 1: you feel when we approach the subject. Does that make sense?

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Speaker 1: That makes sense? Um? Are you laughing at me now?

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Speaker 1: And I am. I'm laughing at the the way that

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Speaker 1: you pose the question. Correct me if I'm wrong. Essentially

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Speaker 1: you're wondering, Um, I guess what black people feel when

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Speaker 1: they are approached maybe by white people with questions about race. Yes,

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Speaker 1: but okay, what I'm asking. What I'm asking is you,

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Speaker 1: as a black person, what do you think and feel

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Speaker 1: when white people. Yeah, that's what I'm asking, that's ask um.

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Speaker 1: So yes. Uh. First of all, what I can say

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Speaker 1: about about being black is that it does not come

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Speaker 1: with any luxuries. The luxuries that media may may say

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Speaker 1: is a luxury, it's not what luxury with media say

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Speaker 1: for instance, um or I won't say, well, I say

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Speaker 1: media because media is the way that, unfortunately, most of

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Speaker 1: America learns things. Most of the world learns things through

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Speaker 1: media without doing their own personal research or reading or

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Speaker 1: having a conversation with someone. Right, don't always rely on

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Speaker 1: the news to tell you what's going on in your community.

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Speaker 1: Take your keys, go get in your car, go find

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Speaker 1: out yourself. But for example, the luxuries of I'm a male, um,

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Speaker 1: and people do always assume that I had the luxury

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Speaker 1: of automatically being great at sports. That's not true. Um, well,

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Speaker 1: but you are great at sports. I am. I am

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Speaker 1: an athlete. However, um, it's not a luxury, right when

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Speaker 1: you're when you're black, to be great at sports, or

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Speaker 1: it's not a luxury if you're a black woman to

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Speaker 1: have a big butt, or or it's not a luxury

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Speaker 1: to I don't know. There are many things that that

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Speaker 1: media may perceive us as luxuries about being black, like

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Speaker 1: not having to wear sunscreen or something like that, something

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Speaker 1: totally outrageous. Those things are not luxuries, and I'll tell

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Speaker 1: you why, because of the way America is set up.

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Speaker 1: Those things that we may be naturally good at it,

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Speaker 1: that we may have naturally are often times the things

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Speaker 1: that save us or put us in better situations. And

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Speaker 1: that's not a luxury. It's all we've got, and and

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Speaker 1: we love it, We appreciate it, and we honor it

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Speaker 1: um from our ancestors who possess those things, or or

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Speaker 1: people before us who possess those things, or or or

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Speaker 1: what have you. And we have a great sense of

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Speaker 1: appreciation for those things that the world may view as

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Speaker 1: luxurious for black people when it's it's really not. For instance,

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Speaker 1: here's an analogy. Here's the first analogy, UM for those

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Speaker 1: Christian listeners out there. UM, there's a story in the

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Speaker 1: Bible about a woman who had I think in the

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Speaker 1: Bible is called two mites, which would I guess be

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Speaker 1: like equivalent to today's penny. She had two pennies, um,

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Speaker 1: and she couldn't find those those pennies, and she did

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Speaker 1: everything that she could to find those pennies. She tore

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Speaker 1: her house upside down to find that penny. To someone

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Speaker 1: who has a lot of pennies, it's just pennies. It's

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Speaker 1: not it's not really worth much, but it was all

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Speaker 1: she had. I kind of would assimilate those things that

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Speaker 1: that white people may view as black luxuries. I would.

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Speaker 1: I would just say that that those are not. That

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Speaker 1: doesn't really answer the questions. That was like, that was

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Speaker 1: a bullet point that yeah, you just so that was helpful.

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Speaker 1: I think what you're saying is we one, we have

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Speaker 1: a miss conception of what it's We just have a

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Speaker 1: misconception of what it's like to be y'all exactly. So

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Speaker 1: that's what you're saying, how which we are learning that,

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Speaker 1: But what do you I think going back to my

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Speaker 1: question is what does it feel like when people like

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Speaker 1: me are like, I'm so uncomfortable and we need to

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Speaker 1: talk about this. I guess what makes me laugh is that?

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Speaker 1: And and again it's not like it's not like laughing

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Speaker 1: at someone um, but it's like, oh, you're uncomfortable now,

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Speaker 1: and you're stressed because you're uncomfortable. I've been uncomfortable my

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Speaker 1: entire life, my mother has been uncomfortable her entire life.

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Speaker 1: My father has been uncomfortable his entire life, and so

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Speaker 1: on and so on. To be black is too, I

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Speaker 1: think to Nazi Coat said it best to be black

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Speaker 1: is too walk through the world, or walk through America,

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Speaker 1: and and people doing things that you cannot do as

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Speaker 1: as freely, or you cannot do without someone looking at

430
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 1: you funny or wondering why it is that you're doing

431
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:16,199
Speaker 1: that simply because of the color of your skin, for

432
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 1: no other reason. So when we say things like that,

433
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 1: like oh, I'm uncomfortable, I'm really anxious about talking about this,

434
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 1: You're really like I really don't care. No, it's not

435
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 1: that I really don't care. It's like, oh, you're uncomfortable,

436
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:35,639
Speaker 1: we'll welcome to Welcome to my world. Yeah, okay, okay,

437
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 1: that's helpful. And we're always uncomfortable about about race in

438
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 1: America because that's what it is to be black, is

439
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,719
Speaker 1: to be uncomfortable in this country at all times, and

440
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 1: to be cognizant of the fact that, like you really

441
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: have to kind of keep your eyes open because at

442
00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:00,239
Speaker 1: a moment's notice, do you take your guard off or

443
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 1: or you blink and you are either put down or

444
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 1: you are discriminated against. Um, And it's just things that

445
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 1: you always have to pay attention to. Yes, and you

446
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 1: have to Like what I'm hearing, it's like you have

447
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 1: to be extra careful to do the very very very

448
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 1: very right thing and not just like the right thing,

449
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 1: because you can do the right thing and it's not

450
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 1: right right right right, there's there's no room for any

451
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 1: gray area. UM. Okay. With all of that being said,

452
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,639
Speaker 1: I want you to talk about I'm gonna remind you

453
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 1: of this, and now I want you to explain it

454
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 1: because what you also said in that same conversation was, well,

455
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:40,639
Speaker 1: you gave me the example of, like you're doing a

456
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 1: drill what I talked to about this on the last episode,

457
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 1: and I probably didn't explain it as well as you did.

458
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 1: But remember that you're doing to stop. You're asking me

459
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 1: something about art, but I was like, I don't do art,

460
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 1: and you were like, okay, So imagine you're at soccer practicing.

461
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 1: Your coach gave you a drill when I was talking

462
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,159
Speaker 1: about like, I'm worried about saying the wrong thing, and

463
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 1: you're like, you just need to freaking say it. Yeah,

464
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:06,679
Speaker 1: do you reme? I'm talking about will you explain that analogy? Yeah, somewhat, somewhat, Um,

465
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,920
Speaker 1: I can help you out with you. So, I think

466
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 1: what you're referring to is especially at this time in

467
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 1: our country with what happened in Minneapolis, UM, the murder

468
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 1: of George Floyd UM and Brianna Taylor prior to that,

469
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 1: and AMRD are very months prior to that. It kind

470
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 1: of like woke this country up to like, Okay, well

471
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 1: we hear you guys. You've been saying this for years, okay,

472
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 1: and so kind of like what's going on at this

473
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: stage is personally, I've had a lot of white people

474
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: come to me and ask, you know, well, you know,

475
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 1: I want to learn. I want to like be educated.

476
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 1: You know what can I do? And to your point,

477
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: I think you asked me that very question, and I

478
00:28:55,120 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 1: think my analogy with the drill was to if well

479
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 1: I kept saying what I what kept doing is being

480
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 1: like I have a lot of questions and you kept

481
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: being like asking me them, and I was like, I

482
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 1: need to think about how I want yea, yeah, yeah,

483
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 1: just ask Here's here's the thing. The only caveat to

484
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 1: that is if you're if your heart is truly curious

485
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 1: and you want to know about about the black experience

486
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 1: in this country, then go and ask. Do not be

487
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 1: afraid because the topic is race, or don't be afraid

488
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:34,239
Speaker 1: because you now realize that that black people have been

489
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 1: hurt for so many years. Here's the thing you have

490
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 1: to understand. Number one is if black people are experiencing

491
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 1: any emotions about race, they have a right to experience

492
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 1: those emotions, right especially if they're being approached, um by

493
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 1: someone and and a white person is saying, I want

494
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 1: to know your story. In a sense you're asking, I

495
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 1: want to know your trauma. They may not be ready

496
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 1: to share that with you. And once again, you also

497
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,479
Speaker 1: may be a trigger for their trauma and they might

498
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 1: not be They might not be willing to share that

499
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 1: with you at all. But don't fret, don't fear. Find

500
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 1: someone else to ask. Continue to find someone else to

501
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 1: ask and learn about different perspectives of of of black

502
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 1: people in this country because it's so important. We're all different,

503
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:33,959
Speaker 1: and I think, um, it's a disservice. It's always been

504
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 1: annoying when I hear the words the black community as

505
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 1: if we all think and feel the same. What I

506
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 1: can tell you is that we're all treated the same

507
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:48,479
Speaker 1: way by this country, but we don't all think and

508
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 1: feel the same, but we're definitely treated the same. And um, yeah,

509
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 1: does that I don't think I talked about I didn't

510
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 1: talk about the drill at all. Sorry, I am sorry. Okay,

511
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 1: really quick, really quick the drill. Yes, I remember, yes,

512
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 1: really quick. Here it is here, it is everybody ready, ready,

513
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 1: here it is. So when you are um, honestly being

514
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 1: inquisitive and honestly wanting to learn, you know, and you

515
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 1: don't want to be afraid to learn. Right when you

516
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 1: are in a classroom, you have to ask questions, throw

517
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 1: your hand up, ask the teacher, because the teacher can

518
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 1: give you the best correction when you ask those questions,

519
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 1: even if you are completely wrong. Right. And I think

520
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: that even in the educational system, we've kind of like

521
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 1: created this culture where people are people are afraid to

522
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 1: be wrong. They gotta be right all the time. They

523
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 1: gotta be right, they gotta be right, even in even

524
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:54,719
Speaker 1: in school. You go to school, Um, oh man, that

525
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 1: kid asks the question and like he was right on

526
00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: target with what the teacher was saying. Oh that that

527
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 1: because the smart is kidding the class not necessarily it's

528
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 1: the kid who is thinking outside the box, asking the

529
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 1: questions and kind of like going around to really really

530
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 1: learn the subject matter, not the kid who's always pinpoint

531
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 1: on target. Still didn't get to the anagy. No, let

532
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 1: me do it. I think I can do I didn't forget.

533
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 1: So here's the analogy. When you are learning soccer, right, Um,

534
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 1: your coach gives you a drill and he wants you

535
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 1: to do that drill as fast as possible or game

536
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: speed um for those in the sports world, game speed

537
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:51,240
Speaker 1: is um. This is exactly what it is. It's it's

538
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:53,440
Speaker 1: game speed, Like you're in the game. You don't want

539
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 1: to do anything slow. So get out there ask those

540
00:32:56,480 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 1: questions because you will learn better that way, because if

541
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 1: you don't mess it up, then you can't do it

542
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 1: in the game because then you're going to do it

543
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 1: in the game. You're not going to have practice it exactly,

544
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 1: there's no point of doing the drill exactly. Can I

545
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 1: add to that? You can add add to that just

546
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 1: really quick, really quick. For the listeners out there, it's

547
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 1: kind of like this, and we've all heard this, you

548
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 1: know this phrase before, like I can't be racist. I

549
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:32,640
Speaker 1: have black friends. Yeah, those black friends being one or

550
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 1: two black friends, or three or four black friends, or

551
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 1: five or six black friends. The point is it is

552
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 1: not enough. You can never have enough black friends because

553
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 1: the the the the experience, uh is totally different how

554
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 1: we feel, it's totally different. So like, yes, you still

555
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 1: might be racist with your four or five black friends.

556
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 1: Your four or five black friends may be also afraid

557
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:59,320
Speaker 1: to tell you that you are racist, or maybe afraid

558
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 1: to tell you how they really feel about you, not

559
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: saying that they feel some type of way about you.

560
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 1: So checking in your black friends okay, because they actually,

561
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 1: you know, probably do love you. However, um, you can't

562
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:16,279
Speaker 1: like create create that sort of generalization. So like I

563
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 1: entreat you, I employ you, employ you to get to

564
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 1: know as many different types of black people as possible. Well,

565
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:26,400
Speaker 1: I think what you're saying and that that had nothing

566
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,399
Speaker 1: to do with the analogy, I just wouldn't point out.

567
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 1: But it will. Well it did, it did, It had

568
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:32,879
Speaker 1: a lot to do with it. Actually I don't get

569
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,320
Speaker 1: but that's what you'll get it when you listen to

570
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:39,880
Speaker 1: the podcast today, they get it. Okay. But what I

571
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 1: hear you saying in that though, is I mean a

572
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:47,319
Speaker 1: lot of people I think the majority of white people

573
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 1: would say marjority of white people who would never admit

574
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 1: that they're racist would say that like, oh, I have

575
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:57,560
Speaker 1: a black friend, I hired a black person, I did whatever,

576
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,400
Speaker 1: blah blah. So so that means I'm not racist, but

577
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 1: you're probably doing things that are racist that you don't

578
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 1: realize that you're doing, like all the time. Yeah, And

579
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 1: I think that is one of the issues of nobody's

580
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 1: like checked in with that. We've never checked in that,

581
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 1: like Okay, what are you really thinking or what are

582
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 1: you really feeling, because just because you're not saying these

583
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 1: things out loud doesn't mean that you don't have a

584
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:24,319
Speaker 1: bias in your head. That makes sense, Uh, it makes

585
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 1: perfect sense. I would like to get into some of

586
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,880
Speaker 1: these questions that I've gotten from friends and clients and

587
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:35,240
Speaker 1: um people um on Instagram, and some of these questions

588
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 1: I've asked you too, I think, and so shout out

589
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,440
Speaker 1: to Instagram. Yeah, so if you want to follow me

590
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 1: on Instagram, well I'll plug that at the end and

591
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 1: in the beginning, can plug it yourself. Yea, yeah, yeah,

592
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,320
Speaker 1: I mean I'm really not you know, he's going to

593
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 1: get a lot of four pictures on your Instagram. I

594
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:55,320
Speaker 1: have four pictures. However, however, my Instagram is at Paul

595
00:35:55,760 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 1: p A U L the Gay g A I T

596
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 1: E R. Who'll put it in the show notes too,

597
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 1: so people can if you got any questions the podcast,

598
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,279
Speaker 1: hit me up, um slide into the d M s

599
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 1: and say hello, are you asking people to d M.

600
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 1: I'm not, but I'm saying if they have questions, if

601
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:25,719
Speaker 1: they have questions regarding the subject matter, and directly, yes,

602
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,759
Speaker 1: please feel free. My page is not private. There's all

603
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 1: women that listen to this podcast. Mostly you're gonna be

604
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:34,400
Speaker 1: a lot of d M. You always have a story,

605
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:36,720
Speaker 1: that's what you do have. You don't have to post anything,

606
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:38,319
Speaker 1: but you always do have a story. I do, Yeah,

607
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 1: I do an Instagram story often. All right, anyway, so

608
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 1: you guys can go follow Paul. But let's get back

609
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 1: to the point of this. This is we're gonna start

610
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:50,160
Speaker 1: with this, and you've kind of answered this somewhat. I

611
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,840
Speaker 1: would like to know how you individually are feeling in

612
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 1: today's social climate with everything that's going on verse like

613
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,359
Speaker 1: in the past two weeks or maybe in the past

614
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 1: couple of months, versus what you've felt your whole life,

615
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 1: if anything has been heightened, any emotions I've been heightened

616
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:10,319
Speaker 1: or like numbed, Like just how are you feeling right now?

617
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,919
Speaker 1: Is what I'm asking you. UM. For the first time,

618
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 1: I think I think I did say this to you

619
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 1: when we talked, UM the other week. For the first

620
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:26,880
Speaker 1: time in my life. UM, I'm optimistic about this country

621
00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 1: for the first time. UM, I've never had this feeling before.

622
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 1: Sadly right, that change is possible, not compmplete change, because

623
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:49,720
Speaker 1: I'm skeptical. I mean, come on, UM, but change is possible.

624
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 1: There's a there's a chance for UM. I don't have

625
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 1: any children of my own, but I've got three nephews

626
00:37:56,160 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 1: and UM, they're they're very young, and there's a chance

627
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,240
Speaker 1: usure them to grow up in a a better America.

628
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 1: There's a chance for their kids to grow up in

629
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 1: in a better America. And UM, I never I would

630
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:15,440
Speaker 1: have said that five months ago or or yeah, I

631
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:19,160
Speaker 1: never would have said that a month ago. A month ago, no, no,

632
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 1: I would have said it. It's it's not going to change,

633
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 1: it's gonna always be the same. UM. And it is

634
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:30,760
Speaker 1: what it is. UM. That doesn't mean I'm not gonna

635
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 1: say all right, hey, guys, watch out for this, watch

636
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,879
Speaker 1: out for that, and and teach them um as much

637
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 1: as possible. But I got a shot. We got a

638
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:43,560
Speaker 1: real shot, and I think that is as long as

639
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 1: America has a shot, um, they's hope. I think that

640
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:55,280
Speaker 1: it is um important to hear you say that, because

641
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:58,719
Speaker 1: I think a lot of my perception of a lot

642
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 1: of talking to my white friends is that they just

643
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 1: think everybody's angry, and I think that they're missing the

644
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 1: point that, like a lot of people, you're you're angry

645
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:16,759
Speaker 1: but also okay, but yeah, but also I think the

646
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: other side of that is like I'm angry, but like

647
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 1: in my anger is anger is like the justice emotion.

648
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: So anger comes out when we're like this is not right,

649
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 1: like we want to change. So like one, you should

650
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:27,919
Speaker 1: be angry, and they should be angry, and like I'm

651
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 1: not I so much because I'm a therapist and I

652
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 1: deal with feelings all the time. I'm not so much

653
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 1: afraid of anger. I love when people feel anger. But

654
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 1: our society has been taught that anger is bad. But

655
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,840
Speaker 1: so I'm what I'm saying, anger is good. If we

656
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: don't have anger, then things would never change, And so

657
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 1: I think that it's important to hear you say that. Like,

658
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,280
Speaker 1: the first thing you said was like, I am hopeful

659
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 1: and optimistic. Yeah, I'm angry and my anger is not

660
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:53,399
Speaker 1: going to go away until something has actually changed. But

661
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:57,720
Speaker 1: in my anger, I'm optimistic that there is opportunity. Yeah,

662
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 1: And I'd say it's funny, Um it's it's funny to

663
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:07,000
Speaker 1: hear that, because that's another one of the things that

664
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,399
Speaker 1: that's that's a stereotype about black people period, that they're

665
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 1: always angry. Yes, we are always angry. You'd be angry

666
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:18,399
Speaker 1: too if you've been trying to tell the people that

667
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,920
Speaker 1: you live within this country that something's going on and

668
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 1: nobody has been listening to you for hundreds and hundreds

669
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:31,880
Speaker 1: and hundreds of years. Anybody would be angry, Um it Like,

670
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:36,439
Speaker 1: but the other thing is that anger came later. Black

671
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:39,879
Speaker 1: people weren't always angry, you know, we we tried it

672
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:44,279
Speaker 1: in many different ways, with many different emotions prior to

673
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 1: this point. At this point, black people are angry and

674
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 1: tired and and we're numb. There not, There aren't very

675
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 1: and you can correct me if I'm wrong. What are

676
00:40:55,920 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: the emotions that come after someone is angry? Is angry

677
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:04,120
Speaker 1: and numb. Okay, So well, you can't be angry and

678
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 1: none at the same time, because none would take away

679
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 1: the ability for you to feel angry. I hear what

680
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 1: you're saying, because you can have when you get it's

681
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 1: almost like what's the word, um, when you get used

682
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 1: to having a feeling, When you get used to something,

683
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 1: it's like you don't feel an yep. That's you're You're

684
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 1: desensitized to your anger or to your whatever emotion is.

685
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 1: So it's like, Okay, I wake up and that's how

686
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 1: I feel, so I don't notice that I feel it.

687
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 1: So I mean, we've done a lot of talking on

688
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: the podcast about attachment and avoidance versus anxious attachment styles.

689
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:39,319
Speaker 1: Think about somebody who has an avoidant attachment how they

690
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 1: have It's not that they got You will have to

691
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:43,760
Speaker 1: go back and listen to the episode, but these people

692
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:47,320
Speaker 1: hopefully will understand it. It's not that the avoidant attachment

693
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 1: style than any of those people have um become they

694
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 1: don't have needs anymore. It's that they've become numb to

695
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 1: the needs because they had having them hurt them and

696
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 1: so this is this kind of the same thing. It's

697
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 1: not that you don't aren't angry anymore or don't have

698
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 1: this feeling anymore. It's that having that anger hasn't helped

699
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 1: you and it hasn't done anything, and so you've become

700
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:13,799
Speaker 1: desensitized to it. It's still there, those needs are still

701
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:16,040
Speaker 1: there for the people to avoid at attachment, and the

702
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,319
Speaker 1: anger is still there for the people that have been mistreated.

703
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:21,919
Speaker 1: But what is the point of expressing it in this way?

704
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 1: Because it hasn't helped me, And so that's why you

705
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 1: a lot of times it's like this came out of nowhere.

706
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people feel that, But this

707
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,720
Speaker 1: didn't come out of nowhere at all. We just finally

708
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 1: are listening to people talking and now that there's a

709
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,879
Speaker 1: space to talk, everybody is coming out of that sense

710
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:42,439
Speaker 1: desensitized numbness, if that makes any sense. If that makes sense,

711
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 1: that okay. So now the other thing that you were

712
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:49,040
Speaker 1: saying is you said, like what comes after. What it's

713
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:52,000
Speaker 1: interesting is anger is usually a secondary emotion. So you

714
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:54,800
Speaker 1: have a feeling and then anger comes on. Not always,

715
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 1: but a lot of times anger isn't the initial. But

716
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 1: anger in society. This goes kind of against what we're

717
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 1: saying is more accepted than feeling sad or feeling scared.

718
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 1: It's it's easier, and it actually feels for a lot

719
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 1: of people more powerful to be angry than to be

720
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 1: fearful or sad or have our feelings hurt. So I'm

721
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 1: just gonna get angry. Um. So there's probably a lot

722
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 1: of things that come after feeling angry, and it's not

723
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 1: really that they come after, it's just that, Okay, we've

724
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 1: peeled that anger part back and now we're opening up

725
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:34,240
Speaker 1: space for other things to be shown. So I would assume,

726
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 1: and this is me assuming, so I shouldn't be assuming,

727
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:39,840
Speaker 1: but I'm going to there's a lot of fear underneath

728
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 1: the anger. Does that fit fear underneath the anger? So

729
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:48,799
Speaker 1: if anger is a feeling that comes on because it's

730
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 1: more accepted in society and it's easier to feel than

731
00:43:54,800 --> 00:44:00,239
Speaker 1: other emotions for you, does that make sense what I'm asking? No,

732
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:06,880
Speaker 1: Because there are only certain emotions that black people have

733
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 1: been allowed to feel in this country, Like what angering it?

734
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:18,799
Speaker 1: I can tell you that, well, you've been allowed to

735
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:25,239
Speaker 1: feel it. We've just no, No, I haven't. Well I've

736
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 1: been allowed to feel it because nobody can tell you

737
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 1: that you can't. But yeah, but but I'm definitely judged

738
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:38,440
Speaker 1: for for that because okay, because because people look scary. Yes, Okay,

739
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 1: that's I was going to say, because I always say

740
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:42,839
Speaker 1: it's all the time. It's like, you have the right

741
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,799
Speaker 1: to feel any feeling, like you can't help what you feel,

742
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. But for you, when you've expressed anger,

743
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,319
Speaker 1: then you become the angry black man and people are

744
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:54,719
Speaker 1: afraid of you. Is that what you're saying, They're they're

745
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:58,720
Speaker 1: afraid of me anyway? Anyway, Okay, so you can't actually

746
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 1: express yourself the way you really want to because there's

747
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:04,240
Speaker 1: already a preconceived judgment on you, and then that adds

748
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:07,439
Speaker 1: on top of the stereotype. But when I'm angry, it's

749
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 1: it's perceived as, oh, he's angry. Like he's angry, so

750
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 1: now he's unstoppable. It's almost like the Hulk. When the

751
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 1: Hulk gets angry, it's like something that's going to wreck

752
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 1: the world, right, which is like so fucked up, because

753
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,600
Speaker 1: what again, going back like anger is that justice emotion?

754
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 1: So if we're not allowing you guys to be angry,

755
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 1: we're also saying that we're not allowing you guys to

756
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 1: say this is not okay, and this is not right exactly. Okay,

757
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 1: that came full circle. So that's fucked up. And you

758
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 1: should let anybody regards. You can say whatever you want to. Yeah,

759
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 1: get to know me. Now. What I was going to

760
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 1: say is you just let anybody feel their anger because

761
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 1: I can get angry and nobody gets scared of me

762
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:05,799
Speaker 1: when I'm angry. Um, okay. So that leads into so

763
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:09,279
Speaker 1: many other things. We probably have answered some of them.

764
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 1: One that like, I mean, I feel annoying asking this,

765
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:17,399
Speaker 1: and I don't know that I've asked this, but you've

766
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 1: answered this to me. I might have asked it. But

767
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,160
Speaker 1: everybody is wondering, as a white person, what are we

768
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:26,359
Speaker 1: supposed to do now? Right now that we're like, okay,

769
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:30,439
Speaker 1: they're finally woken up, like they're most, not most, there

770
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:34,319
Speaker 1: are a number of people who are finally like realizing

771
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 1: what white white privileges, what it has done to oppress

772
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 1: black people X Y Z. And now we're like, okay,

773
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:46,879
Speaker 1: now what do we do because it is our job question, Yes,

774
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:53,879
Speaker 1: use your privilege number one, do not. I'll tell you

775
00:46:53,920 --> 00:47:00,319
Speaker 1: what not to do. Do not, just continue you to

776
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 1: view black people in America as a charity case. Like

777
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:07,560
Speaker 1: we don't need pity, okay, Like like you can feel

778
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:10,359
Speaker 1: sorry for us, you can, you can feel sad all

779
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:15,880
Speaker 1: of that. That's wonderful. Um. However, since we're not allowed

780
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 1: to be angry, what you can do is be angry

781
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 1: for us. And because when y'all get angry, somebody listens, right,

782
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 1: especially white women. You guys have First of all, I

783
00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:35,440
Speaker 1: would disagree with that. Well you may, but hear me

784
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:39,919
Speaker 1: out because we're I will say that when women get

785
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,440
Speaker 1: angry there there's a lot of things that are said

786
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:45,719
Speaker 1: about that. Oh yeah, yeah, definitely definitely. But let me

787
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 1: say this to to all the all the women out there,

788
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:57,920
Speaker 1: because women, you guys, run the world. Okay, Um, can

789
00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 1: we insert some applause here? I don't have that effect,

790
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 1: but everyone's cheering. Yeah, Paul, I'm gonna follow you on

791
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:12,520
Speaker 1: Instagram now, thank you? Give your no no. And I

792
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:15,680
Speaker 1: truly mean that, and I truly believe that women possess

793
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 1: a power that that men do not, Especially when y'all

794
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:27,560
Speaker 1: organize and get together as women, it cannot be stopped.

795
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:32,880
Speaker 1: It cannot be stopped. Um. Right now, there's there's a

796
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:37,520
Speaker 1: even a political power shift for a political paradigm shift.

797
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,439
Speaker 1: Um with women in politics, And I mean, you guys

798
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 1: have stuff to say, things to say, um, but again

799
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:52,279
Speaker 1: like um, but I will say my experience as a

800
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,520
Speaker 1: woman is when I have big emotions like that, I

801
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:59,360
Speaker 1: am dramatic or I'm like emotional, too emotional, and so

802
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:06,440
Speaker 1: you have to be careful of how Paul's um. We

803
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 1: have to be careful of how we have a lot

804
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:11,680
Speaker 1: of good things to say. And I think in some

805
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 1: areas finally people are listening to us too. But we

806
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 1: have to be careful of how we express ourselves too,

807
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:20,800
Speaker 1: because if we're too mad or too sad or to whatever,

808
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 1: we have to be very poised. Else people are like,

809
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 1: she's dramatic and unstable. Let me let me say this.

810
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:31,080
Speaker 1: It was and some people might disagree with me on this,

811
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 1: but I and I wasn't alive during this time, okay,

812
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 1: But it was white women that it was white women's

813
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:48,759
Speaker 1: anger and empathy that casts of Civil Rights Act to

814
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:54,040
Speaker 1: be passed, because it was not until white women who

815
00:49:54,080 --> 00:50:03,120
Speaker 1: were mothers. I saw how police and America we're treating

816
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 1: children right the motherhood, and then was like, oh hell no, right,

817
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 1: white women got angry. Right. There were no women in

818
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 1: politics back then. Okay, so just imagine all of these

819
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:23,279
Speaker 1: men going home and their wives were like, you're not

820
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:26,120
Speaker 1: getting none tonight. You can go make yourself a peanut

821
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:28,360
Speaker 1: butter and butter and jelly sandwich because those were the

822
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:32,000
Speaker 1: times back then. And um, matter of fact, I'm not

823
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 1: cooking for the next five weeks. Feed yourself, Feed your

824
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:39,840
Speaker 1: damn self. You ain't getting shit. Best believe that Civil

825
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:43,439
Speaker 1: Rights Act happened quickly. Now of course in conjunction with

826
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:47,840
Speaker 1: the fact that, um, black people were fed up and

827
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:51,800
Speaker 1: we were like, Nope, we're gonna we're gonna make some

828
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 1: stuff happen to We're gonna burn these cities, we're gonna

829
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:01,399
Speaker 1: watch where we spend our money. But in in conjunction,

830
00:51:01,719 --> 00:51:05,000
Speaker 1: and we had already been doing that for years for years,

831
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 1: first of all, but now that adding that exactly, that

832
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:14,759
Speaker 1: that um, that camaraderie, um, that and that feeling that

833
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 1: white women felt back then. It was very silent. It's

834
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:20,960
Speaker 1: very silent, but but you can go research it. So

835
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:26,319
Speaker 1: they definitely helped help a whole lot. So then with that,

836
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 1: what what would you say that like white women can

837
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 1: do right now? What I know we can do is

838
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 1: educate ourselves and read and have conversations and do all

839
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:43,440
Speaker 1: of that. Besides that, what are you what are we

840
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 1: supposed to do? Is that the right way to ask that?

841
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:51,399
Speaker 1: What do you need us to do? I would say

842
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:57,680
Speaker 1: be mindful with where you spend your money? Right now

843
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:04,240
Speaker 1: is pretty easy to follow the paper trail of money, um,

844
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 1: and you kind of know who's being funded by who,

845
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,560
Speaker 1: where all this money is going, where it's not going,

846
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:15,320
Speaker 1: because they're intentional about it. For instance, we live in Nashville,

847
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:18,400
Speaker 1: right so there was a big to do just a

848
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 1: few days ago about the amount of money that was

849
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 1: in the budget for Metro Police Department and the lack

850
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:30,120
Speaker 1: of money that was in the budget for Metro Natural

851
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:34,759
Speaker 1: Public Schools. That is a huge problem. I think Metro

852
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:38,920
Speaker 1: National Public Schools was I'm probably wrong in this estimate,

853
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:41,160
Speaker 1: but I think it was around two million for the

854
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:46,840
Speaker 1: budget for for for the year, and um, I believe

855
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 1: the police department was about either seventeen million or thirty

856
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:57,280
Speaker 1: five million. It's it's something outrageous. It's something outrageous because

857
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:00,960
Speaker 1: Nashville wants to purchase a new helicopter or two new helicopters,

858
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 1: for for the police department, so on and so on,

859
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:08,759
Speaker 1: and Metro Natural Public Schools kids to this. I work

860
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:11,759
Speaker 1: in Metro Natural Public Schools and there are almost three

861
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:14,920
Speaker 1: thousand kids at the school that I work at alone. Okay,

862
00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 1: we're still kind of up in the air with this pandemic.

863
00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 1: These kids are not learning anything because they don't have

864
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:27,879
Speaker 1: access to internet, they don't have access to computers, they

865
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:32,239
Speaker 1: don't have access to all those things. So we're kind

866
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:35,360
Speaker 1: of as as a school system trying to figure out, well,

867
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:37,319
Speaker 1: what the hell are we gonna do with two million

868
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 1: dollars and all of these kids who not not only

869
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:46,960
Speaker 1: do they not have access to uh to all this stuff,

870
00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:50,279
Speaker 1: some of these kids don't eat all day. Let's just

871
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:52,720
Speaker 1: let's just go with the food alone. The only meals

872
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 1: that they ever get come from the school, and I

873
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:59,440
Speaker 1: see it every day. I've seen it. I've seen it.

874
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 1: I'm in the bild. These kids come in, they're hungry,

875
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:06,719
Speaker 1: and they cannot wait until those terrible school lunches they

876
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:09,960
Speaker 1: that they get come around because they haven't eaten since

877
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:14,919
Speaker 1: lunch the previous day. So it's a great travesty. What's

878
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:18,200
Speaker 1: going on, not just in Nashville, but in this country

879
00:54:18,239 --> 00:54:22,239
Speaker 1: with where money is going. So I would say yes,

880
00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:26,640
Speaker 1: white men, white to white women, UM, pay attention to

881
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:29,000
Speaker 1: where your money goes and who it goes to and

882
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:33,120
Speaker 1: what they do with it because it greatly affects your

883
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:35,440
Speaker 1: community in which you live in. Well, and I think

884
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,160
Speaker 1: what you're talking about this like the systemic part. Let's

885
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:41,759
Speaker 1: say this pandemic goes what Let's say these kids don't

886
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:43,480
Speaker 1: go back to school. I don't really know what's happening,

887
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 1: but if these kids don't go back to school the

888
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:53,160
Speaker 1: next semester, well, the ones that are in homes that

889
00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:55,279
Speaker 1: don't have access to all of this stuff, whether it's

890
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:57,720
Speaker 1: a computer or they have a computer, they on Internet

891
00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:01,520
Speaker 1: or whatever, and the me the off food let alone,

892
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:03,480
Speaker 1: they're not going to be worried about getting in their computer.

893
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:07,400
Speaker 1: But so then they're not being educated. And that's not

894
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:09,480
Speaker 1: their fault either. It's like what are they supposed to like,

895
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 1: go out? It's not so so what do we what

896
00:55:12,239 --> 00:55:15,000
Speaker 1: do we do? These kids? The years are still passing by,

897
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:16,880
Speaker 1: they're still going to do it. They're going to be

898
00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:19,759
Speaker 1: eighteen soon, right, so they're going to be adults and

899
00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:24,319
Speaker 1: they're not going to have the means to get out

900
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:27,120
Speaker 1: of the spot that they're in. Forget college and people.

901
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:29,239
Speaker 1: You know, some people may say, well, they got to

902
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:32,000
Speaker 1: pull themselves up by their boots straps, and no, they

903
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 1: don't even have straps on their boots first of all. Well,

904
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 1: and it's like survival. Though, like my if I were

905
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:38,920
Speaker 1: doing survival, my first thought is not gonna be, oh,

906
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:41,080
Speaker 1: I need to go somewhere and get internet so I

907
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 1: can do this science project. It would be like I

908
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:45,239
Speaker 1: need to figure out how to freaking get food for

909
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:47,560
Speaker 1: me and my brother. So that they're not thinking that,

910
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:50,040
Speaker 1: And I think that that's what people are a lot

911
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:52,319
Speaker 1: of times. I think they don't. They don't look at

912
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:54,839
Speaker 1: the whole picture of what is happening. They see, Oh,

913
00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:56,799
Speaker 1: they chose that, they chose not to do that. They

914
00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 1: showed they didn't work hard enough for that, And it's like, okay,

915
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 1: but survival, like nobody's thinking about their grades when they

916
00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:07,800
Speaker 1: have to worry about like food, water, shelter. I wouldn't.

917
00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:13,239
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. What's what's Honestly, ask yourself this question. We're

918
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:17,160
Speaker 1: gonna leave a pause here for you to answer it. Um,

919
00:56:17,280 --> 00:56:23,759
Speaker 1: let's say you're seventeen years old and you didn't eat yesterday,

920
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:28,400
Speaker 1: and you have the opportunity to get a construction job

921
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 1: or a job as an essential worker at a grocery store, um,

922
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:37,400
Speaker 1: in the middle of the pandemic and risk your life

923
00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:42,279
Speaker 1: possibly um getting sick. Um. Let's say you have to

924
00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 1: choose between that or UM trying to find internet to

925
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:57,919
Speaker 1: go to school. What do you do, remember you haven't eaten. Well,

926
00:56:57,960 --> 00:57:01,439
Speaker 1: I would be going to work, right, Yeah, I think

927
00:57:01,480 --> 00:57:04,120
Speaker 1: most of us would. When I think that, people can

928
00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:06,040
Speaker 1: grab onto the idea because we're in a world it's

929
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:09,200
Speaker 1: like immediate gratification anyway. So even if you don't, if

930
00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:10,759
Speaker 1: you're like, well, I can't relate to that, you can

931
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:13,799
Speaker 1: relate to a lot of experiences where you're like we

932
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 1: talked about this all the time on the podcast and

933
00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:19,320
Speaker 1: even me with clients of slow equals fast, And so

934
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 1: if you think about the idea of you can put

935
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:26,280
Speaker 1: all of this work really really really really really really

936
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:30,240
Speaker 1: really really really really really excruciating work, hard work, going

937
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:34,040
Speaker 1: to therapy and learning these new coping skills UM to

938
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 1: take care of whether it's an addiction or a needing

939
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:38,600
Speaker 1: disorder or whatever. And you have to sit in the

940
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 1: process of being in a lot of pain for a

941
00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:43,600
Speaker 1: period of time for those coping skills to work. Or

942
00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:45,560
Speaker 1: you can go do drugs or use one of your

943
00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:48,560
Speaker 1: eating disorder behaviors. Most people are going to choose to

944
00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:50,040
Speaker 1: go do drugs or go use one of their eating

945
00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:53,680
Speaker 1: disorder behaviors because it's instant gratifications. And so this is

946
00:57:53,680 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 1: a different I mean, this is way different, but the

947
00:57:56,160 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 1: same idea that goes on in the brain. It's like, Okay,

948
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 1: I can go get my needs met like this, they're

949
00:58:01,400 --> 00:58:04,520
Speaker 1: not like doing They're not using drugs or doing something

950
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:06,920
Speaker 1: in that area, but like I can go get my

951
00:58:06,960 --> 00:58:09,480
Speaker 1: needs met and make money so I can feed my family,

952
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 1: or I can like sit through this pain of hunger

953
00:58:12,680 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 1: while I'm going to school for four more years. Like

954
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 1: it's the same kind of concept, and I think that's

955
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:21,920
Speaker 1: where people are like you make choices, and they make choices,

956
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 1: and that person brought themselves up from nothing, and it's

957
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 1: like it's it's not that it's not that easy, but

958
00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:30,840
Speaker 1: it is in our heads easy because working hard for

959
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:34,080
Speaker 1: us has been easy. Like I will say I worked

960
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:38,040
Speaker 1: really hard through school for multiple reasons, all through like

961
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:41,840
Speaker 1: elementary school to grad school. But working hard was very

962
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:45,720
Speaker 1: easy because I never had to worry about anything else. Like, yeah,

963
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:48,400
Speaker 1: I have a ship ton of student loans, but like

964
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:50,919
Speaker 1: I'm also not worried about paying them, Like I can

965
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:53,439
Speaker 1: pay them and they might follow me till I die,

966
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 1: but like it's not like I don't have money to

967
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:59,960
Speaker 1: go get my basic needs met. So I've had the

968
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:04,080
Speaker 1: space to be able to work hard. But some people

969
00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:10,520
Speaker 1: don't have that option because they have to survive and

970
00:59:10,560 --> 00:59:16,880
Speaker 1: then you have to be black on top of that. Yes, yeah,

971
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:22,800
Speaker 1: which I relate to that, but like, yes, okay, my

972
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:28,560
Speaker 1: life has been pretty easy, very easy. Which I want

973
00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 1: to say this because this is something that gets on

974
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:32,840
Speaker 1: my nerves or has been getting on my nerves as

975
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 1: people like saying that, like us saying one saying you

976
00:59:37,080 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 1: having having white privilege means you're a bad person, or

977
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:44,120
Speaker 1: having white privilege takes away from your hard work. One

978
00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:46,720
Speaker 1: doesn't make you a bad person. You can't help it.

979
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:48,880
Speaker 1: You can't help it. We were born and it was

980
00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 1: given to us because we're white. You can't help it.

981
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:55,480
Speaker 1: But also it doesn't take away your hard work. However,

982
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:58,720
Speaker 1: like you, I've worked really hard in my life. However,

983
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:04,320
Speaker 1: somebody who is black, probably any person of color truly,

984
01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:06,640
Speaker 1: if we're going to be honest, would have to work

985
01:00:06,720 --> 01:00:09,400
Speaker 1: harder than me to get where I am. Doesn't mean

986
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:12,720
Speaker 1: I didn't work hard, and it doesn't mean I don't

987
01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:18,680
Speaker 1: deserve what I have. But anybody else to get in

988
01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:21,400
Speaker 1: my shoes, if they were not white, would have to

989
01:00:21,480 --> 01:00:24,520
Speaker 1: jump through many more hoops? Does that make sense? And

990
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 1: do you agree with that? I completely agree. I would

991
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:31,720
Speaker 1: say look at white privilege more as a talent than

992
01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:34,240
Speaker 1: just a thing, because, like, talent was just given to

993
01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 1: you exactly, You're you're you're born with it. Great, great,

994
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:48,920
Speaker 1: now cultivated great, You've cultivated it. Now what are you

995
01:00:49,040 --> 01:00:51,640
Speaker 1: going to do with that talent? Are you going to

996
01:00:51,920 --> 01:00:54,520
Speaker 1: keep that talent to yourself or are you going to

997
01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:59,439
Speaker 1: share that talent to make the world better? That's good?

998
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:03,320
Speaker 1: I mean you've never seen a U haul of following

999
01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:08,280
Speaker 1: behind a hers right? No, no, don't get it. Like

1000
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:12,040
Speaker 1: you use your privilege, you get all of this, all

1001
01:01:12,040 --> 01:01:15,280
Speaker 1: of this stuff. But like you become successful, what have

1002
01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:20,160
Speaker 1: you done now? You have done? You have done nothing.

1003
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:23,520
Speaker 1: You are going to die just like me, and you

1004
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:27,080
Speaker 1: cannot take it with you. But what you can do

1005
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:31,240
Speaker 1: is create a legacy. So do you want to be

1006
01:01:31,280 --> 01:01:33,520
Speaker 1: forgotten when you die, or I mean, you may not

1007
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:38,240
Speaker 1: care right now because you're just so and now I

1008
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:40,400
Speaker 1: was going to say, you're just so surrounded by your

1009
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:43,680
Speaker 1: success and everything's great right now. But are you talking

1010
01:01:43,680 --> 01:01:46,640
Speaker 1: about me? Not you? Not you? When I said, when

1011
01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:51,040
Speaker 1: I say you, you as in like we're talking about

1012
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:54,480
Speaker 1: like white privilege right now. So like you've used your

1013
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:59,000
Speaker 1: white privilege, You've cultivated the privilege or talent in this analogy,

1014
01:01:59,400 --> 01:02:03,720
Speaker 1: and that's successful. What are you going to do now

1015
01:02:03,760 --> 01:02:06,240
Speaker 1: with that success? Yeah? I really like that. I haven't

1016
01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:11,840
Speaker 1: heard somebody say that. Boom boom um. Okay, this goes.

1017
01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:18,120
Speaker 1: This is another question. Um Paul the Gator on Instagram

1018
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:23,520
Speaker 1: shameless plug cal how many times you say it? Um? Okay?

1019
01:02:24,200 --> 01:02:26,440
Speaker 1: When are we supposed to speak up? And when are

1020
01:02:26,480 --> 01:02:29,520
Speaker 1: we not? When are we supposed to name the elephant

1021
01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 1: in the room when it comes to white privilege, diversity

1022
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:35,120
Speaker 1: or lack of diversity, and when are we like not

1023
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:38,080
Speaker 1: supposed to say anything? Does that make sense? That question?

1024
01:02:38,440 --> 01:02:43,680
Speaker 1: Like when is it annoying? If it's ever annoying, stop

1025
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:48,200
Speaker 1: laughing at me. That's a good question. It's just it's

1026
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:51,920
Speaker 1: funny because I'm hearing you say this, and I'm like,

1027
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:55,800
Speaker 1: I'll just answer it here. Here's the answer you guys ready,

1028
01:02:55,920 --> 01:03:00,560
Speaker 1: all right, that was you guys saying ready, Um, it's

1029
01:03:00,600 --> 01:03:06,959
Speaker 1: never annoying. You're always supposed to say something right is right,

1030
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:11,600
Speaker 1: wrong is wrong, speak out against it. Well, okay, But

1031
01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:14,240
Speaker 1: I'm wondering too, which I think the point of this

1032
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:19,600
Speaker 1: person's question is when do you not want somebody to

1033
01:03:19,720 --> 01:03:22,640
Speaker 1: stand up and say, oh, I noticed you're the only

1034
01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:26,560
Speaker 1: black person here, Like, does that make sense? That's what

1035
01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:30,880
Speaker 1: I think this person is. Okay, So someone has said

1036
01:03:30,880 --> 01:03:37,160
Speaker 1: that to me before, and I've been like, okay, because

1037
01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:42,760
Speaker 1: I'm still the ship regardless. Now, guys, listen, I am

1038
01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:45,919
Speaker 1: not vain. I am not vain. I'm not I'm not.

1039
01:03:46,160 --> 01:03:50,200
Speaker 1: But like, that's how you have to think being black.

1040
01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:54,320
Speaker 1: I have so often been the only black person in

1041
01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:57,439
Speaker 1: my school. Well, I've gone to both black and white

1042
01:03:57,440 --> 01:04:00,560
Speaker 1: schools growing up. But do you want somebody to say, like, hey, like,

1043
01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:02,320
Speaker 1: I notice you're the only black person here, and like,

1044
01:04:02,360 --> 01:04:05,160
Speaker 1: what's that like for you? I'm really sorry? Do you

1045
01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:07,040
Speaker 1: want people to say that, Yeah, if they want to

1046
01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:11,000
Speaker 1: know what it's like. Now, granted again, I may not

1047
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:13,240
Speaker 1: be in the mood. So if I'm not in the mood,

1048
01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:17,560
Speaker 1: don't assume that you can't ask another black person or

1049
01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:21,040
Speaker 1: that you can't ask me later. I think that's important

1050
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:24,560
Speaker 1: to don't don't assume that I'm just a jerk because

1051
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:26,600
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about it. I may not

1052
01:04:26,680 --> 01:04:29,840
Speaker 1: want to talk about it. The black experience is traumatic.

1053
01:04:30,120 --> 01:04:34,240
Speaker 1: Understand that. Always understand that it is traumatic. So as

1054
01:04:34,880 --> 01:04:40,720
Speaker 1: white people are are being inquisitive and learning, it is

1055
01:04:40,800 --> 01:04:45,720
Speaker 1: not always going to be received well because it is

1056
01:04:45,760 --> 01:04:49,480
Speaker 1: a traumatic experience. You guys are all trying to be

1057
01:04:49,560 --> 01:04:53,680
Speaker 1: therapist right now, and it's wonderful. We will some will

1058
01:04:53,680 --> 01:04:56,720
Speaker 1: tell you. Some will not just understand that that's that's

1059
01:04:56,720 --> 01:04:59,960
Speaker 1: the way that it is. And if they don't, it's fine.

1060
01:05:00,520 --> 01:05:05,160
Speaker 1: They don't have to write because they're hurt and and

1061
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:09,400
Speaker 1: and you also have to understand that your whiteness may

1062
01:05:09,440 --> 01:05:15,640
Speaker 1: be a trigger, right like literally PTSD. Someone who like

1063
01:05:15,880 --> 01:05:19,120
Speaker 1: may look like you, or may sound like you, or

1064
01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:21,600
Speaker 1: may have the same color eyes or something like that.

1065
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:25,760
Speaker 1: You may have done something to them in their past

1066
01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:30,160
Speaker 1: and said something, and they may have walked the same whatever,

1067
01:05:30,280 --> 01:05:33,960
Speaker 1: may have been wearing the same style of clothing and

1068
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:39,040
Speaker 1: then boom. Now you get like this kind of jaded

1069
01:05:39,080 --> 01:05:42,320
Speaker 1: response from them, and and like your feelings may be hurt.

1070
01:05:43,600 --> 01:05:46,000
Speaker 1: You gotta be patient, you gotta be patient. Yeah, And

1071
01:05:46,040 --> 01:05:49,800
Speaker 1: I think what we talked about um the other day

1072
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:53,920
Speaker 1: was like the generational trauma. And so I think also

1073
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:58,480
Speaker 1: what is important for us to remember it is, Yeah,

1074
01:05:58,520 --> 01:06:01,840
Speaker 1: I think that we forget. We don't forget, We just

1075
01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:09,760
Speaker 1: don't don't know that there is un unresolved, unopened, untouched,

1076
01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:14,640
Speaker 1: unnoticed trauma going on and being held inside of the

1077
01:06:14,640 --> 01:06:17,080
Speaker 1: body of every single black person. I think I can

1078
01:06:17,120 --> 01:06:21,240
Speaker 1: say that like every single they might not every single

1079
01:06:21,320 --> 01:06:23,600
Speaker 1: black person might know that they have that, but it's there.

1080
01:06:23,640 --> 01:06:29,480
Speaker 1: And what we know about every persons that uh yes.

1081
01:06:29,840 --> 01:06:33,040
Speaker 1: But I think what I'm saying this in regards to

1082
01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:37,080
Speaker 1: like white people traumatizing black people. And so I think

1083
01:06:37,120 --> 01:06:41,760
Speaker 1: that I mean human the human body is like crazy

1084
01:06:41,920 --> 01:06:44,040
Speaker 1: and very smart. And what it can do is it

1085
01:06:44,080 --> 01:06:46,600
Speaker 1: can shut off certain parts of the brain and hide

1086
01:06:46,960 --> 01:06:50,280
Speaker 1: feelings and events um for a period of time, sometimes

1087
01:06:50,320 --> 01:06:53,200
Speaker 1: ever in your body. But your body, remember, your body

1088
01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:55,880
Speaker 1: cannot forget certain things. And so a lot of our trauma,

1089
01:06:56,040 --> 01:06:57,720
Speaker 1: most of our trauma, is not stored in our brain

1090
01:06:57,800 --> 01:07:01,560
Speaker 1: is stored in our body, and so we have to

1091
01:07:01,560 --> 01:07:04,480
Speaker 1: remember that, especially when it comes to this topic, because

1092
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,919
Speaker 1: us asking a question, looking at somebody a certain way,

1093
01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:10,920
Speaker 1: saying something in a certain way could be a trigger

1094
01:07:11,040 --> 01:07:13,600
Speaker 1: that is almost opening up and like twisting this like

1095
01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:17,560
Speaker 1: can open that they didn't know existed. And also they

1096
01:07:17,560 --> 01:07:20,040
Speaker 1: didn't ever really maybe want to open up. And so

1097
01:07:20,720 --> 01:07:22,960
Speaker 1: what is happening right now is a lot of people's

1098
01:07:23,120 --> 01:07:26,400
Speaker 1: trauma is coming out right now, and not everybody has

1099
01:07:26,440 --> 01:07:29,600
Speaker 1: a means to process it either. I think that's also

1100
01:07:29,760 --> 01:07:32,320
Speaker 1: a problem. I mean, that's a problem problem anyway with

1101
01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:35,840
Speaker 1: the um ability for people to get help when it

1102
01:07:35,880 --> 01:07:38,480
Speaker 1: comes to mental health. But we have to remember, like

1103
01:07:38,520 --> 01:07:42,600
Speaker 1: this is this is a sensitive subject for multiple multiple reasons.

1104
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:45,000
Speaker 1: And it's not just what's happening right now, it's what

1105
01:07:45,080 --> 01:07:48,439
Speaker 1: has happened to people that lived hundreds of years ago.

1106
01:07:49,720 --> 01:07:52,560
Speaker 1: And also there's not a lot of education on generational

1107
01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:54,880
Speaker 1: trauma and people don't understand that, and so a lot

1108
01:07:54,920 --> 01:07:58,160
Speaker 1: of people don't realize what's happening when they are being

1109
01:07:58,880 --> 01:08:02,400
Speaker 1: triggered or or their cans being opened up. And so

1110
01:08:03,360 --> 01:08:05,360
Speaker 1: I do think that's something for us to take an

1111
01:08:05,360 --> 01:08:09,200
Speaker 1: account of white people. Yes, sometimes it's personal, but sometimes

1112
01:08:09,200 --> 01:08:11,000
Speaker 1: it is not personal and you just need to have

1113
01:08:11,160 --> 01:08:14,720
Speaker 1: your own feelings and like walk away and take breath. Done.

1114
01:08:14,760 --> 01:08:20,679
Speaker 1: I'm done with that. That was brilliant, Thank you. UM,

1115
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:24,519
Speaker 1: I was looking up something. Uh, I kind of wanted

1116
01:08:24,560 --> 01:08:27,920
Speaker 1: to talk about the generational trauma really quick, and I

1117
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:31,360
Speaker 1: really just wanted to point out and for people who

1118
01:08:31,400 --> 01:08:35,400
Speaker 1: are like, what is generational trauma? Generational trauma is trauma

1119
01:08:35,439 --> 01:08:40,360
Speaker 1: has been passed down through the experiences of ancestors. That

1120
01:08:40,360 --> 01:08:42,960
Speaker 1: could be your grandmother, that can be your mom, that

1121
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:46,559
Speaker 1: can be somebody that you've never met before. But again,

1122
01:08:46,640 --> 01:08:49,080
Speaker 1: trauma is held in our body. So the way that

1123
01:08:49,120 --> 01:08:52,519
Speaker 1: we deal with the things that have been done to

1124
01:08:52,680 --> 01:08:58,160
Speaker 1: us are come out in anxiety and depression, in our feelings,

1125
01:08:58,200 --> 01:09:01,400
Speaker 1: how we process feelings, and so that has passed down

1126
01:09:01,400 --> 01:09:04,759
Speaker 1: like through the womb, mother to child, and if somebody

1127
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:09,120
Speaker 1: has something unprocessed or something has somebody yeah unprocessed, it's

1128
01:09:09,120 --> 01:09:11,960
Speaker 1: going to be those the way that the coping skills

1129
01:09:11,960 --> 01:09:13,439
Speaker 1: and how they've dealt with that is going to be

1130
01:09:13,479 --> 01:09:18,400
Speaker 1: passed down. UM. Does that make sense? And I think

1131
01:09:18,400 --> 01:09:24,600
Speaker 1: the the official term is transgenerational trauma. Sure, I think, UM,

1132
01:09:24,640 --> 01:09:27,160
Speaker 1: I was going to try to find a study UM

1133
01:09:27,280 --> 01:09:29,360
Speaker 1: or the study that that I had heard. I can't

1134
01:09:29,400 --> 01:09:32,559
Speaker 1: remember who did it. I'll find it later and maybe

1135
01:09:32,600 --> 01:09:34,320
Speaker 1: we can come. You can just talk about it and

1136
01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:37,840
Speaker 1: if it's if it's you mess something up in the ultra,

1137
01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:42,160
Speaker 1: well correct it, okay. UM. No, there was there was

1138
01:09:42,200 --> 01:09:49,640
Speaker 1: a study done UM and basically they think it was

1139
01:09:50,560 --> 01:09:53,800
Speaker 1: I can't remember if it was done with UM mice

1140
01:09:54,040 --> 01:09:58,920
Speaker 1: or fish or some some other um laboratory animal, but

1141
01:09:59,160 --> 01:10:04,400
Speaker 1: essentially there were let's say a mouse um every time

1142
01:10:04,479 --> 01:10:09,280
Speaker 1: it goes to get water. It receives a shock every

1143
01:10:09,280 --> 01:10:12,320
Speaker 1: time it goes to get water from from this specific

1144
01:10:12,320 --> 01:10:14,720
Speaker 1: water bowl. But there's another water bowl on the other

1145
01:10:14,760 --> 01:10:20,440
Speaker 1: side of of of the container, so they get a shock. Eventually,

1146
01:10:21,200 --> 01:10:24,320
Speaker 1: the mouse knows not to go to that water bowl

1147
01:10:24,600 --> 01:10:27,760
Speaker 1: to get its water, going to go to the other one.

1148
01:10:28,479 --> 01:10:38,000
Speaker 1: Fast forward, that mouse um mates and has mice baby mice.

1149
01:10:39,040 --> 01:10:43,880
Speaker 1: Those baby mice have other baby mice, and so on

1150
01:10:43,960 --> 01:10:46,720
Speaker 1: and so on. I think the study was done like

1151
01:10:46,840 --> 01:10:50,479
Speaker 1: four generations later in mice, and they took the mice

1152
01:10:50,479 --> 01:10:55,000
Speaker 1: out of the cage that they were in all together. However,

1153
01:10:56,000 --> 01:11:00,880
Speaker 1: several generations down, none of those mice drank that water bowl.

1154
01:11:02,280 --> 01:11:06,080
Speaker 1: Why do you think that is right? The trauma that

1155
01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:11,960
Speaker 1: was in great great great grandfather Mouse, even though he's

1156
01:11:12,200 --> 01:11:15,360
Speaker 1: dead and gone and he didn't tell them about it,

1157
01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:20,320
Speaker 1: was passed all the way to great great great great

1158
01:11:20,400 --> 01:11:26,479
Speaker 1: grandson mouse. Um, And so he's like, no, I'm not

1159
01:11:26,479 --> 01:11:31,640
Speaker 1: going to go get shocked because there's trauma over there. Well,

1160
01:11:31,640 --> 01:11:37,400
Speaker 1: because trauma restructures your brain. So I mean obviously if

1161
01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:40,680
Speaker 1: their descendants of that mouse, their brain is like that

1162
01:11:40,800 --> 01:11:42,479
Speaker 1: is going to be passed down some way. And so

1163
01:11:42,520 --> 01:11:44,960
Speaker 1: I think that's what I want you guys to hear

1164
01:11:44,960 --> 01:11:49,120
Speaker 1: in that is that like, trauma re wires the way

1165
01:11:49,160 --> 01:11:52,720
Speaker 1: people respond, act, feel, think, what would you like to say,

1166
01:11:52,760 --> 01:11:55,479
Speaker 1: Paul is raising, Yes, pick me, I'm picking you. You're

1167
01:11:55,479 --> 01:12:00,600
Speaker 1: the only one here, really quick. Races was not just

1168
01:12:00,640 --> 01:12:04,439
Speaker 1: traumatic for black people. Hear me when I say this,

1169
01:12:05,560 --> 01:12:09,040
Speaker 1: this is a big one. Racism was not just traumatic

1170
01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:14,479
Speaker 1: for black people. Okay, Slavery was not just traumatic for

1171
01:12:14,560 --> 01:12:19,320
Speaker 1: black people. What did that trauma do to white people

1172
01:12:19,720 --> 01:12:28,760
Speaker 1: who in their nature we're not racist, or in their

1173
01:12:28,840 --> 01:12:35,679
Speaker 1: nature we're not interested in owning slaves. Ah. Well, there

1174
01:12:35,800 --> 01:12:39,800
Speaker 1: was success and wealth, and you were viewed as this

1175
01:12:39,920 --> 01:12:45,720
Speaker 1: and this and this, and racist culture and slavery has

1176
01:12:45,760 --> 01:12:51,599
Speaker 1: also conditioned white people to automatically assume that they are

1177
01:12:51,680 --> 01:12:57,400
Speaker 1: better or that they are this whatever. So let me

1178
01:12:57,479 --> 01:13:00,360
Speaker 1: let me be clear when I say this racism, it

1179
01:13:00,400 --> 01:13:03,439
Speaker 1: is not just a black issue. It's not just a

1180
01:13:03,520 --> 01:13:06,479
Speaker 1: black trauma. It is a white trauma too, but in

1181
01:13:06,520 --> 01:13:09,719
Speaker 1: a different way. And it is something that white people

1182
01:13:09,760 --> 01:13:13,280
Speaker 1: need therapy on just as much as black people. When

1183
01:13:13,320 --> 01:13:15,439
Speaker 1: you talk about you want to see what you can do,

1184
01:13:15,560 --> 01:13:18,559
Speaker 1: and you want to unlearn some things, You're gonna have

1185
01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:23,200
Speaker 1: to unlearn some things from your families from generations ago

1186
01:13:23,600 --> 01:13:26,880
Speaker 1: and that you don't realize. Are there so pain that

1187
01:13:26,960 --> 01:13:30,559
Speaker 1: is and it's so painful that that was a good

1188
01:13:30,600 --> 01:13:33,320
Speaker 1: point to add. Thank you glad. I'm glad you raise

1189
01:13:33,360 --> 01:13:39,439
Speaker 1: your hand because that is um something I see every

1190
01:13:39,479 --> 01:13:43,639
Speaker 1: single day at work. But that is going to be

1191
01:13:44,080 --> 01:13:46,960
Speaker 1: it's painful. For that's why part of the white people

1192
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:48,920
Speaker 1: don't want to do the work. It's painful and they

1193
01:13:49,280 --> 01:13:51,679
Speaker 1: don't really have to, and they will write they don't

1194
01:13:52,040 --> 01:13:54,840
Speaker 1: but they do have to, but they truly feel that.

1195
01:13:55,160 --> 01:13:58,000
Speaker 1: When so when a white person says I'm not racist,

1196
01:13:58,160 --> 01:14:02,240
Speaker 1: I truly believe that you feel like you are not racist, However,

1197
01:14:03,160 --> 01:14:05,280
Speaker 1: you can't help it that you are. Your great great

1198
01:14:05,280 --> 01:14:09,680
Speaker 1: great Craig granddaddy was, and now this is in you

1199
01:14:10,520 --> 01:14:17,160
Speaker 1: also your great great great great grandmother on your mom's side,

1200
01:14:17,360 --> 01:14:20,920
Speaker 1: and your uncle and your whatever whatever whatever, your neighbors

1201
01:14:21,320 --> 01:14:25,479
Speaker 1: like they all were. You may not be, you may

1202
01:14:25,520 --> 01:14:32,080
Speaker 1: not be, but you have been immersed in racist culture

1203
01:14:32,080 --> 01:14:35,280
Speaker 1: in a positive way for you. And you may not

1204
01:14:36,479 --> 01:14:43,120
Speaker 1: think that you are racist, but it's in there and

1205
01:14:43,200 --> 01:14:45,840
Speaker 1: you've got to do the work to get it out.

1206
01:14:46,640 --> 01:14:52,360
Speaker 1: And what I would like to say is in that

1207
01:14:52,520 --> 01:14:56,360
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to bump up against a lot of shame.

1208
01:14:56,680 --> 01:14:58,720
Speaker 1: It's going to be scary. It's gonna have to bump

1209
01:14:58,760 --> 01:15:01,600
Speaker 1: up so much shame because what I've heard over and

1210
01:15:01,680 --> 01:15:03,040
Speaker 1: over is a lot of white people don't want to

1211
01:15:03,040 --> 01:15:05,960
Speaker 1: have these conversations because if they have these conversations, then

1212
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:07,920
Speaker 1: they are going to be doing just that, they're going

1213
01:15:07,920 --> 01:15:09,519
Speaker 1: to have to be looking at like what what did

1214
01:15:09,520 --> 01:15:11,840
Speaker 1: I do? Or what did I think? And that people

1215
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:13,800
Speaker 1: don't want to think that they're bad people. And what

1216
01:15:13,920 --> 01:15:16,800
Speaker 1: you are not saying is that these that white people

1217
01:15:16,840 --> 01:15:19,840
Speaker 1: are all bad people. That's not what you're saying, and

1218
01:15:19,920 --> 01:15:22,519
Speaker 1: that's not what That's not what I would ever be

1219
01:15:22,600 --> 01:15:26,519
Speaker 1: saying either. I'm saying that like we become I don't

1220
01:15:26,520 --> 01:15:30,160
Speaker 1: think well, I would never say that, like unless you're

1221
01:15:30,680 --> 01:15:34,960
Speaker 1: an actual sociopath, like a bad person. But what becomes

1222
01:15:35,360 --> 01:15:41,080
Speaker 1: poor behavior and um is when you are open up

1223
01:15:41,120 --> 01:15:43,400
Speaker 1: to this idea and you refuse to look at it

1224
01:15:43,439 --> 01:15:47,240
Speaker 1: because you don't want to feel bad. Because we all

1225
01:15:47,280 --> 01:15:51,479
Speaker 1: need some like guilt is one of the emotions that

1226
01:15:51,560 --> 01:15:55,000
Speaker 1: helps us actually act within our our moral compass, and

1227
01:15:55,080 --> 01:15:57,680
Speaker 1: so we should be feeling guilt and like good we

1228
01:15:57,720 --> 01:15:59,639
Speaker 1: feel guilt, what are we going to do with it?

1229
01:15:59,720 --> 01:16:02,320
Speaker 1: Like how do we get back in line? And so

1230
01:16:02,680 --> 01:16:05,200
Speaker 1: I do think that was an important thing for you

1231
01:16:05,240 --> 01:16:07,400
Speaker 1: to say. Thank you. Yeah, I didn't want to leave

1232
01:16:07,439 --> 01:16:10,760
Speaker 1: the conversation saying that I had to interrupt you to

1233
01:16:11,120 --> 01:16:16,000
Speaker 1: bring that up. I enjoyed that. So I enjoyed that. Well.

1234
01:16:16,120 --> 01:16:18,400
Speaker 1: So there were some other questions, but I don't really

1235
01:16:18,479 --> 01:16:20,920
Speaker 1: feel like they're necessary to talk about because I think

1236
01:16:20,960 --> 01:16:23,160
Speaker 1: this was good and this is a lot of information.

1237
01:16:23,240 --> 01:16:25,280
Speaker 1: So I I imagine a lot of people listening to

1238
01:16:25,320 --> 01:16:27,760
Speaker 1: this and having to listen to it, like, Okay, I'm

1239
01:16:27,880 --> 01:16:29,720
Speaker 1: listened to half of this, then I'm gonna go like

1240
01:16:30,040 --> 01:16:31,960
Speaker 1: sit in my feelings and then maybe I'll get back

1241
01:16:31,960 --> 01:16:34,759
Speaker 1: to it next week. And like, that's okay with anything.

1242
01:16:34,760 --> 01:16:37,160
Speaker 1: And if you have to listen to it twice, that's okay.

1243
01:16:37,479 --> 01:16:40,240
Speaker 1: If you are not feeling feelings that are uncomfortable right now,

1244
01:16:40,600 --> 01:16:43,320
Speaker 1: then you need to go Like, I really don't know

1245
01:16:43,360 --> 01:16:45,040
Speaker 1: what you need to do, but you probably need to

1246
01:16:45,040 --> 01:16:47,920
Speaker 1: go back and listen to this again. You are doing

1247
01:16:47,960 --> 01:16:50,080
Speaker 1: something right if you are feeling some kind of emotion

1248
01:16:50,200 --> 01:16:52,400
Speaker 1: right now while listening to this, If you were feeling

1249
01:16:52,439 --> 01:16:54,960
Speaker 1: uncomfortable while listening to this, you are doing something right.

1250
01:16:55,640 --> 01:16:58,400
Speaker 1: So that is just my encouragement. And I think what

1251
01:16:58,439 --> 01:17:01,719
Speaker 1: we can do is some of the things that Paul mentioned,

1252
01:17:02,200 --> 01:17:05,719
Speaker 1: talking and asking the questions and not taking things personally

1253
01:17:05,720 --> 01:17:08,240
Speaker 1: when they're not about you, looking at where your money

1254
01:17:08,320 --> 01:17:18,760
Speaker 1: is being spent, educate yourself, Um, do the drill full out. Yeah,

1255
01:17:19,240 --> 01:17:24,839
Speaker 1: did you ever actually explain You did explain it anyway,

1256
01:17:25,000 --> 01:17:27,920
Speaker 1: So yeah, And we could have more conversations like this

1257
01:17:28,360 --> 01:17:30,320
Speaker 1: if we need to. If you guys have more questions,

1258
01:17:31,040 --> 01:17:35,720
Speaker 1: send them in or you can. Again, he's looking and

1259
01:17:35,760 --> 01:17:39,760
Speaker 1: I mean that seriously, Um, listen, I'm I'm a black man,

1260
01:17:40,520 --> 01:17:44,599
Speaker 1: and right now I'm at a place in my own

1261
01:17:45,080 --> 01:17:47,599
Speaker 1: in my own trauma where I am willing to help.

1262
01:17:48,240 --> 01:17:53,240
Speaker 1: I am willing to to to dialogue, UM, because it's

1263
01:17:53,240 --> 01:17:55,599
Speaker 1: the only way that you know this stuff is gonna

1264
01:17:55,600 --> 01:17:59,160
Speaker 1: come out, UM, is if you and I talk. UM,

1265
01:17:59,160 --> 01:18:03,479
Speaker 1: So me up, let's talk. UM. I meant to do

1266
01:18:03,520 --> 01:18:07,519
Speaker 1: this at the beginning of the show. Actually, UM, we

1267
01:18:07,520 --> 01:18:10,240
Speaker 1: can go back and at it. We go back and

1268
01:18:10,280 --> 01:18:12,559
Speaker 1: at it. But you guys don't know what I look like.

1269
01:18:13,840 --> 01:18:18,280
Speaker 1: And I want you guys to You know that I'm black,

1270
01:18:18,680 --> 01:18:20,640
Speaker 1: you know my color, but you don't know what I

1271
01:18:20,680 --> 01:18:27,720
Speaker 1: look like. I want you too take a few seconds

1272
01:18:28,520 --> 01:18:32,080
Speaker 1: and imagine, like, go ahead and create an image of

1273
01:18:32,120 --> 01:18:36,240
Speaker 1: me in your head of what I look like and

1274
01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:39,240
Speaker 1: based on your voice, and knowing that you're a black man,

1275
01:18:39,360 --> 01:18:41,200
Speaker 1: based on my voice, and knowing that I'm a black man.

1276
01:18:41,680 --> 01:18:44,360
Speaker 1: I actually wish you would have asked this question actually,

1277
01:18:44,840 --> 01:18:46,960
Speaker 1: so that they could create create an image of me

1278
01:18:47,040 --> 01:18:48,880
Speaker 1: before they heard me talk at all. They just know

1279
01:18:48,920 --> 01:18:53,840
Speaker 1: that I'm a black man, and I wonder what just

1280
01:18:54,000 --> 01:18:55,960
Speaker 1: for them. I want to know what images they create

1281
01:18:56,280 --> 01:19:01,680
Speaker 1: just for them, because the images maybe like listen an

1282
01:19:01,680 --> 01:19:04,479
Speaker 1: image of like something that they're afraid of. Listen that

1283
01:19:04,560 --> 01:19:06,120
Speaker 1: we're going to do. We're going to keep this in

1284
01:19:06,160 --> 01:19:08,599
Speaker 1: there in the intro, I'm going to pose that question.

1285
01:19:08,640 --> 01:19:11,000
Speaker 1: So now you guys are hearing how this all came about.

1286
01:19:11,520 --> 01:19:14,040
Speaker 1: But okay, so in the intro, I'm going to ask

1287
01:19:14,080 --> 01:19:17,320
Speaker 1: them to imagine what you look like based on just

1288
01:19:17,400 --> 01:19:18,880
Speaker 1: knowing you're a black man, because they're not gonna have

1289
01:19:18,920 --> 01:19:20,080
Speaker 1: heard your voice yet, or do you want them to

1290
01:19:20,200 --> 01:19:24,439
Speaker 1: wait and you can say that that I'm Yeah, you

1291
01:19:24,439 --> 01:19:27,320
Speaker 1: can say that I'm a black man and that I

1292
01:19:27,439 --> 01:19:31,240
Speaker 1: am I'm a black man. I'm six one. We'll just

1293
01:19:31,320 --> 01:19:33,080
Speaker 1: leave it at that. Okay, Wait, what do you want

1294
01:19:33,080 --> 01:19:35,479
Speaker 1: them to think about? So now we're come full circle?

1295
01:19:35,840 --> 01:19:37,719
Speaker 1: So what is the image that you had of Paul?

1296
01:19:39,240 --> 01:19:41,360
Speaker 1: They still don't know what you look like. They still

1297
01:19:41,360 --> 01:19:43,320
Speaker 1: don't know what I look like. What you're going to

1298
01:19:43,160 --> 01:19:46,240
Speaker 1: have about Instagram to find out? No, that's not that's

1299
01:19:46,280 --> 01:19:49,000
Speaker 1: not why, that's not why I listen, listen, listen, that's

1300
01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:51,280
Speaker 1: not why the purpose of this, the purpose of this

1301
01:19:51,520 --> 01:19:54,920
Speaker 1: was the purpose of the purpose, the purpose of They're like, oh,

1302
01:19:55,400 --> 01:19:58,280
Speaker 1: we gotta do there it is again. Now listen, listen,

1303
01:19:58,439 --> 01:20:01,360
Speaker 1: hear me out the purpose of this was the image

1304
01:20:01,360 --> 01:20:04,519
Speaker 1: that you created of what you thought I might look

1305
01:20:04,560 --> 01:20:08,719
Speaker 1: like I would. I want you to do some soul

1306
01:20:08,720 --> 01:20:13,800
Speaker 1: searching and ask yourself, is am I afraid of this image?

1307
01:20:14,479 --> 01:20:17,800
Speaker 1: Because some of you may have seen me before? And

1308
01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:19,599
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know if you know all of

1309
01:20:19,600 --> 01:20:25,440
Speaker 1: you are, but like yeah, but but in all seriousness, um,

1310
01:20:25,640 --> 01:20:28,120
Speaker 1: like some of you may have seen me before, Um,

1311
01:20:28,200 --> 01:20:29,880
Speaker 1: I don't know at the mall, at the grocery store,

1312
01:20:29,920 --> 01:20:32,120
Speaker 1: because I am a member of your community, and you

1313
01:20:32,160 --> 01:20:36,320
Speaker 1: may have been afraid. And you're not scary, right, I'm

1314
01:20:36,360 --> 01:20:39,519
Speaker 1: not well, I can't be You can't be scary, but

1315
01:20:40,240 --> 01:20:43,360
Speaker 1: I mean, who can't? Everybody can't as that ability? I think?

1316
01:20:43,520 --> 01:20:48,599
Speaker 1: Can I be scary? You've never been afraid of me?

1317
01:20:49,560 --> 01:20:54,720
Speaker 1: Not when I get upset. I haven't really seen you

1318
01:20:54,840 --> 01:21:00,240
Speaker 1: upset per se, But how your house all five three?

1319
01:21:02,080 --> 01:21:06,320
Speaker 1: I wouldn't listen. Sure people can like suck some things up, right,

1320
01:21:06,320 --> 01:21:08,760
Speaker 1: but again, like based on like you know, my my

1321
01:21:08,840 --> 01:21:11,519
Speaker 1: background and what I never emotionally been scared of me.

1322
01:21:13,320 --> 01:21:14,760
Speaker 1: I don't even know what that means. I don't know

1323
01:21:14,800 --> 01:21:17,880
Speaker 1: what that means either, But no, thank you Paul for

1324
01:21:18,200 --> 01:21:21,160
Speaker 1: coming in talking to us. It's been a pleasure, a pleasure. Yeah,

1325
01:21:21,479 --> 01:21:23,519
Speaker 1: you want to come back, we can do it again. Um,

1326
01:21:24,280 --> 01:21:28,080
Speaker 1: there may be more questions. UM, so if you guys

1327
01:21:28,080 --> 01:21:30,840
Speaker 1: want to do a part two, part two, you do

1328
01:21:30,840 --> 01:21:33,760
Speaker 1: a part two part two. Well, thank you. And if

1329
01:21:33,760 --> 01:21:38,880
Speaker 1: you do have questions, UM, you can DM me or

1330
01:21:38,920 --> 01:21:41,960
Speaker 1: you can d M Paul. You can at Paul the Gator.

1331
01:21:42,720 --> 01:21:44,680
Speaker 1: I'll plug you again. That's like the fourth time I

1332
01:21:44,720 --> 01:21:47,400
Speaker 1: have a Twitter to teach you, but like I don't

1333
01:21:47,400 --> 01:21:49,640
Speaker 1: really get on Twitter. I use Twitter for I'm a

1334
01:21:49,640 --> 01:21:52,560
Speaker 1: football coach. I use Twitter for for would you like

1335
01:21:52,640 --> 01:21:55,960
Speaker 1: to give them your Twitter account? Okay, okay, all right,

1336
01:21:56,120 --> 01:22:03,960
Speaker 1: thank you guys. All Right, there you have it. H

1337
01:22:04,040 --> 01:22:09,160
Speaker 1: my conversation with Paul. I hope you guys enjoyed got

1338
01:22:09,200 --> 01:22:12,880
Speaker 1: something out of that conversation. Like we said, if there

1339
01:22:12,880 --> 01:22:15,479
Speaker 1: are things that are coming up for you, please please

1340
01:22:15,479 --> 01:22:19,240
Speaker 1: please don't hesitate to reach out and share and start

1341
01:22:19,280 --> 01:22:22,840
Speaker 1: your own conversations as well. I think Paul really means

1342
01:22:22,880 --> 01:22:26,280
Speaker 1: it when he says that you can ask him some questions.

1343
01:22:26,520 --> 01:22:28,960
Speaker 1: Remember you can go follow him. Say one more time

1344
01:22:29,120 --> 01:22:33,000
Speaker 1: at Paul the Gator. P A U L T h E. G.

1345
01:22:33,200 --> 01:22:36,559
Speaker 1: A I T. E. R. And as always, you can

1346
01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:39,800
Speaker 1: follow me at Three Chords Therapy and then follow the

1347
01:22:39,840 --> 01:22:43,679
Speaker 1: podcast please that is at You Need Therapy podcast. Again,

1348
01:22:44,080 --> 01:22:46,479
Speaker 1: we are so open to doing another one of these

1349
01:22:46,479 --> 01:22:49,559
Speaker 1: conversations if we need to. And the other thing is

1350
01:22:49,760 --> 01:22:52,640
Speaker 1: I'm not pretending or acting as if I have it

1351
01:22:52,720 --> 01:22:55,200
Speaker 1: all figured out. I'm in the process of learning as well.

1352
01:22:55,479 --> 01:22:56,960
Speaker 1: And I think when it comes to this kind of

1353
01:22:56,960 --> 01:23:00,880
Speaker 1: subject and really anything, really anything, we ever stop learning.

1354
01:23:01,000 --> 01:23:04,759
Speaker 1: And there's forgot what it's called. It's some shift world shift.

1355
01:23:05,000 --> 01:23:07,200
Speaker 1: The more you start to learn about things, the more

1356
01:23:07,240 --> 01:23:09,840
Speaker 1: you realize how much you don't know. And so I

1357
01:23:09,840 --> 01:23:12,520
Speaker 1: think that's where a lot of us are in our process.

1358
01:23:12,760 --> 01:23:16,040
Speaker 1: So again, if you have any questions, comments, email us,

1359
01:23:16,560 --> 01:23:19,479
Speaker 1: d M S message us, we would love to hear that.

1360
01:23:20,120 --> 01:23:23,160
Speaker 1: And um, last thing, as always, if you can rate,

1361
01:23:23,400 --> 01:23:25,679
Speaker 1: comment and subscribe to the podcast, that would be amazing.

1362
01:23:25,960 --> 01:23:28,719
Speaker 1: When you do that, it actually helps other people find

1363
01:23:28,760 --> 01:23:33,080
Speaker 1: the podcast better. So it's not I don't really I

1364
01:23:33,120 --> 01:23:34,960
Speaker 1: mean I do get somebody out of it because more

1365
01:23:34,960 --> 01:23:36,920
Speaker 1: people are find the podcast, but we want as many

1366
01:23:36,920 --> 01:23:39,799
Speaker 1: people to be able to find this podcast as possible. Also,

1367
01:23:39,840 --> 01:23:44,080
Speaker 1: if you post or share this on Instagram tag guess,

1368
01:23:44,240 --> 01:23:46,679
Speaker 1: so we know that you guys are listening and loving

1369
01:23:46,720 --> 01:23:48,320
Speaker 1: it like we want to know when it's being shared

1370
01:23:48,360 --> 01:23:50,439
Speaker 1: as well because we want to stay as close to

1371
01:23:50,479 --> 01:23:52,760
Speaker 1: you guys as we can. So thank you so much

1372
01:23:52,800 --> 01:23:54,720
Speaker 1: for listening. I hope you guys have a really good

1373
01:23:54,760 --> 01:23:57,439
Speaker 1: week and I will be back in two more Mondays.

1374
01:24:01,240 --> 01:24:03,040
Speaker 1: M d P.