1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast and we have. 3 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 2: Some foundational stories coming up for you. 4 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,000 Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support 5 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll 6 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,400 Speaker 1: get into the episode. 7 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 3: I helped my neighbor build his home, but now he's 8 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 3: acting like I owe. 9 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:21,799 Speaker 4: Him when don't he owe you? 10 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 3: Hello, this is going to be quite a long story. 11 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 3: At the end of twenty twenty three, I found myself homeless. 12 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 3: I've got something called multiple sclerosis, but that's besides the point. 13 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:35,480 Speaker 3: That's how I ended up spending a full seventeen months 14 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:37,280 Speaker 3: homeless until March twenty twenty five. 15 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. 16 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Extra Cheesy Broccoli. And 17 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to 18 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 3: the r slash Okay story Time suppering it. 19 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 4: And I'm Angie, I'm Carly, and. 20 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,160 Speaker 3: We're here to give good advice. Goofuly, But we don't 21 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,920 Speaker 3: have all the answers. We just know what we would 22 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 3: do in the situation. So let us know what you 23 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 3: would do in the comments. So Opie says, I now 24 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 3: find myself in Northern Ontario. I think I'm closer to 25 00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 3: the North Pole than I am to the US border 26 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 3: living in a somewhat off grid homesteading type community. And yes, 27 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 3: with my medical issues, I know it's probably more difficult 28 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,840 Speaker 3: for me than it is for most people. But I'm happy. 29 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,399 Speaker 3: I've got my dog, a small camper I live in, 30 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,559 Speaker 3: and I'm somewhat making it work. That being said, there's 31 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,320 Speaker 3: a person who's the focus of this story, and I'm. 32 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,400 Speaker 4: Going to call him Jason. 33 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,760 Speaker 3: Jason has a wife, but she's not really relevant to 34 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 3: the story. Jason moved up here in May, and from 35 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 3: what I saw, he made a mistake. He shouldn't be 36 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:28,039 Speaker 3: up here. I know that's saying a lot, but he 37 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,120 Speaker 3: really shouldn't. He came up with absolutely nothing, not even 38 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:35,759 Speaker 3: a plan. And he's on odsp Ontario Disability support program. 39 00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:38,039 Speaker 4: Now that's saying a lot. 40 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:42,040 Speaker 3: That's one five hundred and five a month, and I 41 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 3: survive on three hundred dollars sometimes less. 42 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 5: Oh my god. 43 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 3: But he came totally unprepared. He was lucky that he 44 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 3: got here in the spring mid May, to say the least. 45 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 3: He's got no outdoor experience and no building experience. I know, 46 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 3: I've got my medical issues, but his make him quite frail. 47 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 3: In fact, his wife is also very, very frail. When 48 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 3: I first met Jason, I was on my way to 49 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:04,880 Speaker 3: visit a friend who has a plot right next to his. 50 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 3: I saw him and immediately got flashbacks to my time 51 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,560 Speaker 3: being homeless, living in the woods in a blue tent, 52 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,519 Speaker 3: waking up at two in the morning in minus forty 53 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,959 Speaker 3: degree weather. The inside of my tent covered an ice. Honestly, 54 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,400 Speaker 3: I felt bad for him, and we talked. He told 55 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,239 Speaker 3: me he had plans to build some sort of home. 56 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 3: The first day of construction on his place didn't not 57 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 3: go well. In fact, it went so badly that all 58 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 3: the members who had been willing to help wash their 59 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 3: hands of him and refused to help again. Wow, interesting, 60 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 3: how bad did it go? 61 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 2: Right? 62 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 4: He went so poorly. 63 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 3: It happened when we were trying to lay down stone 64 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 3: that we had collected by hand to level the foundation. 65 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 4: He started freaking. 66 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 3: Out because he had no cigarettes. When we tried to 67 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 3: talk to him about the best way to build a 68 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 3: solid foundation, floor and walls, we were met with f this, FDA, 69 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 3: that's not the effing where I want thing's done. It 70 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 3: was just a bad attitude all around. Yes, now we're 71 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 3: understanding what the problem is. 72 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 4: Why everyone else dipped up. 73 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 3: Maybe that's why we shouldn't be here. After that one day, 74 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 3: anyone who had been willing to help him was no 75 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:12,800 Speaker 3: longer willing to lift a finger. Against my better judgment, 76 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 3: I was still willing to keep helping him, mostly because 77 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 3: of that blue tent and because his wife is a 78 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 3: very sweet woman. Over the next several months May, June, July, 79 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 3: and August, whenever he got any wood or building supplies, 80 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,120 Speaker 3: he would come down and ask me to do a 81 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 3: bit of work. I had no problem with that. That's 82 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 3: what neighbors are for. It always started the same way. 83 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 3: He'd say, can you come up and help me with 84 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 3: a very small job. It might take an hour. Yeah, 85 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 3: no problem, I would say, of course, I was more 86 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 3: than willing to help. But that one hour would turn 87 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 3: into three, five, even eight hours. I've got my limitations. 88 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,920 Speaker 3: But he always found a way to guilt me into 89 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 3: staying not to do the task that he needed done, 90 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 3: but then something else right after. He'd say, Oh, I 91 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 3: need some help digging a ditch so I can lay 92 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 3: some stones for a walkway. But it wouldn't just be 93 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 3: digging the ditch because he never helped. It would be 94 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 3: digging it, then laying stones, and when I finished that, 95 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 3: it was on to something else, like I'm trying to 96 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 3: put up an outhouse, but I don't know how to 97 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 3: do this. Can you help? And then it would turn 98 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 3: into me doing the whole thing myself. It got even 99 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 3: more frustrating when we were actually trying to build his home. 100 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 3: Whenever I tried to give him suggestions because I have 101 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 3: a background in construction, he'd get upset, start swearing and 102 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 3: throw a fit because that's not how he wouldn't it done? 103 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,360 Speaker 4: Well, then do it yourself. But come on, I do 104 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 4: some of the work. Yeah, that's what they always say. 105 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 3: If you want something done right, you got to do yourself. 106 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 4: Yeah. And also either would. 107 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 3: Have done it wrong, but yeah, yeah, exactly like either 108 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 3: that or just listen to your construction right. 109 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 4: Why are we not taking that advice? 110 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 2: Yeah? 111 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:47,599 Speaker 4: Come on. 112 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:51,360 Speaker 3: The problem was the way he wanted it done wasn't functional. 113 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,039 Speaker 3: It wasn't going to keep the weather out. But again, 114 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:56,479 Speaker 3: I felt bad for his wife. I felt bad for 115 00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:00,839 Speaker 3: their situation, so I said I just did it the 116 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 3: way that he wanted. It took months, little by little, 117 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:06,839 Speaker 3: but The place eventually got built the way that he wanted. 118 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 3: Even then he still wouldn't listen. The place needed to 119 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 3: be insulated, something he and his wife could have done themselves. 120 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,760 Speaker 3: I suggested that they start by insulating the floor and 121 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 3: ceiling first, and then move on to the walls when 122 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 3: they could. I told him, always start with the floor 123 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 3: and ceiling up here, that'll keep you warm. But he 124 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 3: didn't listen. He told me that's not the way. He 125 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,520 Speaker 3: wanted to do things that he knows best, so I 126 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,160 Speaker 3: left him to his own devices. A little over two 127 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 3: weeks ago, in the early afternoon, I hear a knock, knock, knock, 128 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:38,120 Speaker 3: knocknock knock at the door of my very small camper. 129 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,320 Speaker 3: It was Jason. It was the day after our first 130 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:44,680 Speaker 3: little cold spell. Overnight it went down to minus five 131 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:48,480 Speaker 3: degrees celsius. And guess what, his place didn't stay warm 132 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 3: at night because he only had three walls insulated. What'd 133 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:53,359 Speaker 3: you think that was gonna do? 134 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:53,840 Speaker 2: Jason? 135 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:55,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, what are we doing? 136 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 2: Oh? This is not the way I want it. 137 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 4: I want to be cold that night, like want to be. 138 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,040 Speaker 3: I want to not keep my house warm out of ease. 139 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,400 Speaker 3: The floor wasn't insulated, the ceiling wasn't insulated, and it 140 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 3: wasn't holding any of the heat from his wood burning stove. 141 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 4: It got cold. 142 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 3: Jason was angry. He didn't come down to blame me, 143 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 3: but he came to guilt me. He told me that 144 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 3: he had more work to do on the place than 145 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 3: that he'd be able to get more supplies in a 146 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,560 Speaker 3: couple of days when his check came in. But he 147 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,480 Speaker 3: said he wasn't going to make it through the nights, 148 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 3: even though it wasn't supposed to get that cold. Now 149 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,039 Speaker 3: you're probably wondering why he came down to tell me 150 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,039 Speaker 3: all this. It's because he wanted him and his wife 151 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:37,760 Speaker 3: to stay in my camper, my home, my home that's 152 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 3: only big enough for one person and one dog. What 153 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 3: he actually wanted was for me and my dog to 154 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 3: vacate our home so that he and his wife could 155 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 3: stay in it. 156 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,560 Speaker 4: And where was I supposed to go? My God, that's 157 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:50,440 Speaker 4: so insane. 158 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 3: His suggestion was that I stay in either the small 159 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,720 Speaker 3: cabin that I've been building out of scrap wood and logs, 160 00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 3: a side project to be more a hobby than anything, 161 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,839 Speaker 3: or go get a motel room for the night. That 162 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 3: cabin has no insulation, it's not ready to be lived in. 163 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:07,159 Speaker 3: It's basically still exposed to the elements. And as for 164 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 3: the motel room, yeah, because that's reasonable, I should leave 165 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 3: my home and pay for room that I can't afford. 166 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 3: I don't have one hundred and fifty dollars to spend 167 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 3: a night in the motel. I've got just enough money 168 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 3: to keep my dog fed and myself fed. There's really 169 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 3: no room in my life for luxuries. Heck, I'm still 170 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 3: trying to save up for proper winter gear, a decent 171 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 3: winter jacket in snowpants. I said no. Jason didn't like that. 172 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 3: In fact, he blew up. I remember almost his exact words. 173 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 3: That's not effing fair. This is my effing life. What 174 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 3: am I supposed to haffing to? This is my effing 175 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 3: hof dude, This is the lack of brains in this man. 176 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 2: You know what you can go? 177 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 4: You can go build your house, Yeah. 178 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 3: Go build your house, or right, idea stay in a 179 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:52,600 Speaker 3: hotel that she. 180 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 6: Would open, you stay in the motel, Like, yeah, this 181 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 6: is your life, My life too. 182 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:01,040 Speaker 3: This whole thing is we're not in some sort of 183 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 3: simulation for you, Like, come on, god, he seemed to 184 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 3: forget that. You know, I've got to live too, this 185 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 3: is my home. There are more people on this planet 186 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 3: than just him. Yeah, I've been more than fair with him. 187 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,680 Speaker 3: I've neglected my own winter preparations just to make sure 188 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 3: that he was okay. I've calculated that I've given him 189 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 3: at least two hundred hours of my time, often at 190 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 3: times when I shouldn't have been helping him, at all 191 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 3: times when I'm just in so much pain, when my 192 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,520 Speaker 3: legs just weren't working, and when all I wanted to 193 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:36,840 Speaker 3: do was cry because again, I have multiple sclerosis. I'm medicated, 194 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,080 Speaker 3: but I still get bad days. Unfortunately, I know I'm 195 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,320 Speaker 3: easily guilted. After that blow up, I told him I 196 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 3: was done. I said, I can't help you anymore. I've 197 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,200 Speaker 3: got my own things I need to do. We're very 198 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 3: close to some serious snowfall in cold weather, and there's 199 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 3: a lot I've got to get done with not much 200 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 3: time left. 201 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 2: Wow. 202 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,360 Speaker 4: Wow, Wow, glad we said no, thank Finally. 203 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,840 Speaker 6: That's insane to get mad and to demand someone else 204 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 6: leave their house because you're mad that you did your 205 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,600 Speaker 6: insulation wrong exactly. 206 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:12,360 Speaker 3: That's crazy. What crazy? Yeah, I'm so glad that ope, 207 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 3: he's standing. 208 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 4: Up for Yeah, good on you for saying no, good 209 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 4: on you. 210 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 3: Even after that, he still tried to guilt me into 211 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 3: helping him more. One of the things he said to 212 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 3: me was that if I didn't help him, he had 213 00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:24,839 Speaker 3: nothing else, that he wouldn't make it through the winter, 214 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 3: that he'd have to leave. Then he asked, do you 215 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,319 Speaker 3: really want to be responsible for me having to leave? 216 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 3: This is my dream, A dream, mind you, that he's 217 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,680 Speaker 3: been building, using my labor for free. I haven't gone 218 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 3: back to help him since. In fact, the last I heard, 219 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 3: he actually left and got in contact with one of 220 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:45,440 Speaker 3: the community associations in one of the small towns near 221 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,000 Speaker 3: where I live. They've put him in a motel, which 222 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,560 Speaker 3: honestly kind of irks me considering all the work that 223 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,040 Speaker 3: I put into his place just ran him to walk away. 224 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:56,080 Speaker 3: But you know what it is, what it is. I 225 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,880 Speaker 3: just feel like ranting today and that's the end of 226 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,439 Speaker 3: that story. Oh wow, wow, glad you got your your 227 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,480 Speaker 3: thoughts out. Yeah, I wonder, like, I mean, you'd have 228 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:07,960 Speaker 3: to buy the land, which would probably be expensive, but 229 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 3: I wonder if you could like buy that you just 230 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:13,200 Speaker 3: use that house that he's living, or you know you'd 231 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 3: have to put more work. 232 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,319 Speaker 6: Into it, but you've already put so much into it. Yeah, 233 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 6: I wonder how much that would cost to maintain and 234 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 6: stuff too. 235 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:22,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, might not be worth it, might just be 236 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 3: one of those old houses you see on the side 237 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 3: of the road in a road trip. 238 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 4: But yeah, yeah, And that's the end of this story. 239 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 4: We're going on to the next one. 240 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,120 Speaker 6: My best friend reconnected with my ex and now I 241 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 6: can't stay friends with him. 242 00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:38,920 Speaker 3: Well, let's just how the cookie grumbles me. 243 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 6: Twenty three Mail and my best friend twenty three Mail 244 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 6: have known each other since we were about fourteen years old. 245 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,320 Speaker 6: He's actually a very good friend and has always been 246 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:49,600 Speaker 6: very supportive and loyal. 247 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,479 Speaker 4: Let's call him Tom. 248 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from Joseph Luigi, And if 249 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 6: you want to submit your own stories, go to the 250 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,000 Speaker 6: r slash Okay storytime. 251 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,720 Speaker 4: So I brought it. I'm Carly, I'm Angie, and we're 252 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 4: here to give good advice. 253 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,840 Speaker 6: Goofully, But we don't have all the answers. We only 254 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:06,360 Speaker 6: know what we would do, So let us know what 255 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 6: you would do in the comments, and Opie says, unfortunately, 256 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,040 Speaker 6: Tom has had it a bit rough throughout his life. 257 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 6: Not going to go into specifics, but let's say he 258 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:18,200 Speaker 6: hasn't had the best family environment. He has had health 259 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:21,080 Speaker 6: complications to the point that he can be described as 260 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:24,600 Speaker 6: having a disability. I had to almost replace his dad 261 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:28,680 Speaker 6: in some ways when raising his little sisters and other stuff. Still, 262 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,760 Speaker 6: he has managed to stay very, very positive about life 263 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,120 Speaker 6: and is one of the purest hearts out there. In 264 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,160 Speaker 6: twenty nineteen, I was sixteen and got a girlfriend who 265 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,200 Speaker 6: was fifteen at the time. 266 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:40,439 Speaker 4: Let's call her Sam. 267 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 6: It took me about a year to introduce them both 268 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 6: because he was studying at a different school, and for 269 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 6: almost a year we didn't talk much. Still, when we 270 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 6: did talk, I used to tell him a lot about her. 271 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:54,200 Speaker 6: Eventually they met because I invited them to an escape 272 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:57,240 Speaker 6: room for my birthday. They hit it off very quickly, 273 00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:00,160 Speaker 6: as they were both very kind and good hearted. The 274 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,680 Speaker 6: three of us would hang out very often and had 275 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:06,160 Speaker 6: very good times together. To be clear, during our time together, 276 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 6: they never hung out by themselves. Sam was very respectful 277 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:12,560 Speaker 6: of our relationship, and so was Tom. They did message 278 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 6: each other sometimes, but the vast majority of their communication 279 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 6: was through a group chat that we had together. They 280 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,120 Speaker 6: became as good friends as you can become with this 281 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 6: situation up in February of twenty twenty three, she broke 282 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:27,400 Speaker 6: up with me on relatively good terms. We said that 283 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:30,280 Speaker 6: we'd stay friends. One of the things that happened during 284 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:33,240 Speaker 6: the breakup was that she thanked me for introducing her 285 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 6: to Tom because. 286 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,320 Speaker 4: He was such a good friend. 287 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 5: That threw me off. 288 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,800 Speaker 6: A bit at the time, but I figured it didn't 289 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 6: matter anymore. After that conversation, Sam asked me if we 290 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 6: could pretend to still be together when her mom picked 291 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,080 Speaker 6: her up from our university because she didn't want her 292 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,960 Speaker 6: to know about it yet. I accepted, after all, I 293 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 6: still cared for her. For the next two weeks, the 294 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 6: three of us would still make calls and play video 295 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:59,040 Speaker 6: games together as we used to do, but it obviously 296 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:02,720 Speaker 6: felt off. I tried to be as nonchalant as possible 297 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 6: and hung out with my UNI friends. Sometimes Sam and 298 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 6: I would bump into each other, but I actively tried 299 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:12,000 Speaker 6: to avoid her. One time, I was talking with some 300 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,200 Speaker 6: friends when she pulled me aside to greet me with 301 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 6: a kiss on the cheek and walk away. My friends 302 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 6: and I stared at each other in silence, as it 303 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,960 Speaker 6: was a bit uncomfortable. After two weeks, Sam said that 304 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,960 Speaker 6: she needed to talk with me to help her with 305 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:28,680 Speaker 6: her mind. The most important thing about that conversation was 306 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:31,839 Speaker 6: that she felt hurt because I didn't search for her 307 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 6: after the breakup, even after I told her that i'd 308 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:35,720 Speaker 6: respect her decision. 309 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,440 Speaker 4: That rang an alarm in my brain. 310 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,440 Speaker 6: As trouble, and I decided to drop all communication with 311 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:44,880 Speaker 6: her for good. I didn't block her or anything, but 312 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:48,560 Speaker 6: I stopped following her on every social media platform, deleted 313 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,439 Speaker 6: her number, and deleted all the chats I had with her. 314 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:55,720 Speaker 6: During this grieving period, I started to vent with Tom, but. 315 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,560 Speaker 4: Sam was also doing the same. 316 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,520 Speaker 6: I knew because he sometimes told me, but I never 317 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,280 Speaker 6: asked about it because I believe that their friendship is 318 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:08,400 Speaker 6: private to them and I should respect that. This situation 319 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:11,240 Speaker 6: made me feel uncomfortable talking about my pain with him, 320 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:15,280 Speaker 6: so I resorted to other friends. I am an extrovert, 321 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,680 Speaker 6: so I have many groups of friends, some of which 322 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 6: know each other and some who don't. I started venting 323 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,080 Speaker 6: with my uni friends who aren't acquainted with Tom. They 324 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:27,080 Speaker 6: mentioned an apparent friend of mine who was adding flirty 325 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 6: comments with Sam and tagging her in some relationship posts. 326 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,160 Speaker 4: I truly didn't. 327 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,720 Speaker 6: Care about that, and very quickly forgot they even said 328 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 6: something about it. Tom began to add stories hanging out 329 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,240 Speaker 6: with Sam, which made me uncomfortable at first, but who 330 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,240 Speaker 6: am I to tell anyone else who they should or 331 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 6: shouldn't hang out with. He had been telling me about 332 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,640 Speaker 6: girls he was interested in, but it never worked out. 333 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:53,040 Speaker 6: Months passed and he had different crushes, some of whom 334 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 6: liked him, but most ghosted or ignored him. Sam and 335 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 6: Tom seemed to have actually become very good friends, maybe 336 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:03,520 Speaker 6: best friends at times, and nothing more. Some friends asked 337 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:05,960 Speaker 6: me if I wasn't uncomfortable about my best friend and 338 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 6: my ex. 339 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:07,200 Speaker 4: Still hanging out. 340 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:09,720 Speaker 6: I told them I had no issue with it, and 341 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 6: I truly meant it. During this time, I met another 342 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,800 Speaker 6: girl in July twenty twenty three. 343 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 4: Let's call her Kate. 344 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,760 Speaker 6: Though she only plays a small part in the story. 345 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 6: We stayed as friends, then she ghosted me started talking 346 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 6: again in December. 347 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,600 Speaker 4: Only for me to get ghosted again. 348 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 6: She came back in June twenty twenty four, apologizing for 349 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,240 Speaker 6: how she treated me, and we actually started to have 350 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:35,880 Speaker 6: a very solid relationship after that, thinking we would get married. 351 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 6: Both she and my parents were also head over heels 352 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 6: with that. Relationship entered December twenty twenty four and Tom 353 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,680 Speaker 6: comes to me with some news. Sam had found out 354 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 6: that I had a new girlfriend and was furious with 355 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 6: him because he didn't tell her. 356 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 4: After that, she decided to stop being friends with Tom. 357 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,760 Speaker 6: This time, I did ask in the details because I 358 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,560 Speaker 6: thought she would be capable. 359 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,160 Speaker 4: Of sabotaging my relationship with Kate. 360 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 6: In conversation, he told me that there was a short 361 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 6: time in which he thought he had feelings for Sam. 362 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,520 Speaker 6: They talked it over at the time and realized they 363 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 6: weren't actually falling for each other and stayed friends. He 364 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:18,160 Speaker 6: also apologized because he never asked me how I felt 365 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,360 Speaker 6: about their relationship. I told him I wasn't mad that 366 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 6: they were friends or anything. The only thing that would 367 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 6: make me really uncomfortable and make me want to distance 368 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 6: myself would be if they became a couple. At the 369 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 6: end of our chat, Tom said that he was done 370 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 6: with her and wouldn't stand being treated like that. We 371 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,200 Speaker 6: cheered for the hat and laughed it off. In February 372 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 6: twenty twenty five, Kate and I broke up for reasons 373 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 6: that don't concern. 374 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,560 Speaker 4: This particular story. 375 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 6: Since April, many friends have come up to me to 376 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,680 Speaker 6: talk about my last breakup, but this subject has been 377 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 6: discussed a lot more than I would have expected. Since April, 378 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,360 Speaker 6: many friends have come up to me to talk about 379 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:58,520 Speaker 6: my last breakup, but this subject has been discussed a 380 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:02,560 Speaker 6: lot more than I would have expected. Basically, everyone who 381 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,879 Speaker 6: has been a little involved with my personal life saw 382 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,679 Speaker 6: some years ago that after Sam and I broke up. 383 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:11,160 Speaker 4: Tom and her were flirty. 384 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:13,760 Speaker 6: Everyone has been telling me that it's not something a 385 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:17,439 Speaker 6: good friend would do, and they may have a point. Still, 386 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 6: I defended Tom because I know he is not ill 387 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,400 Speaker 6: intended and. 388 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,120 Speaker 4: Has had it rough. The fact that he has. 389 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 6: Friends who help emotionally brings me joy. Also, he was 390 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 6: not talking with her, so it didn't matter to anyone. 391 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,240 Speaker 6: A couple months ago, Tom told me that Sam reached 392 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,320 Speaker 6: out to him to apologize and ask if they could 393 00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:41,320 Speaker 6: be friends again. He brushed her off, but something happened 394 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:44,880 Speaker 6: that I'm not aware of, and they became friends again. Yeah. 395 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 6: Kind of just sounds to me like classic college drama relationships. 396 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:57,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, bro code being violated, Yeah cool man not cool? 397 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 6: Yeah, Like just distance yourself from both maybe at that 398 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,480 Speaker 6: point if it's really hard if he's dating Sam. 399 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:09,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, It's like that might be, you know, like 400 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,320 Speaker 3: if other people are still stuck in this kind of 401 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 3: high school type drama in college, then it's like, maybe 402 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,920 Speaker 3: you just gotta get away from these people a bit. 403 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,159 Speaker 6: I more so just feel even get away from it 404 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 6: because it's gonna get messy. 405 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:23,280 Speaker 4: Totally, totally you don't want to be in We've a 406 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:23,960 Speaker 4: little bit left. 407 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 6: In conversation, he has mentioned her very lightly, as if 408 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,840 Speaker 6: nothing bad ever happened between them. A girlfriend of mine 409 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 6: who somewhat knows Tom, highlighted they are now very good 410 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,600 Speaker 6: friends again and asked me how they are talking if 411 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:40,199 Speaker 6: they had argued before. I told my friend it was irrelevant, 412 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,359 Speaker 6: and that I'm happy that he has emotional support, not 413 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 6: that she is the only one, just that it is 414 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 6: good that he has her as one. However, this time 415 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:53,200 Speaker 6: I feel differently. Maybe it does affect me, but mostly 416 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 6: I have been thinking that I might be impeding those 417 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 6: two from ending up together. I'm actually planning on telling 418 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,520 Speaker 6: him I want distance myself from him as long as 419 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,080 Speaker 6: he's friends with my ex. I don't want to put 420 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,440 Speaker 6: him in a situation where he has to choose one 421 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 6: friendship and drop the other. But I feel like it's 422 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,760 Speaker 6: what has to be done. Still, I'm not sure if 423 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,159 Speaker 6: I should do it or if I'm actually making a 424 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 6: storm in. 425 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:17,720 Speaker 4: A glass of water? 426 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:20,680 Speaker 6: Would I be the a hole if I distance myself? 427 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,120 Speaker 6: That is the end of that story. And I do 428 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,000 Speaker 6: not think that that you would be. 429 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,280 Speaker 4: I don't think so at all. I think you should. 430 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:28,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, I. 431 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:32,159 Speaker 3: Feel like if you tried to be involved more than 432 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,359 Speaker 3: that would be impeding on their relationship. Like I think 433 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:39,480 Speaker 3: you being distant and you impeding are two very different things. 434 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 4: I feel like they do not. 435 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, they cannot happen at the same time. 436 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 6: If your friend and Sam are gonna give it a go, yeah, 437 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,320 Speaker 6: step away and let them give it a go. 438 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:49,120 Speaker 4: Yeah. 439 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,600 Speaker 6: Sure, sure, And that's the end of this story. 440 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,800 Speaker 4: We're gonna go to the next one. 441 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,560 Speaker 3: I was left out of a wedding party, so I 442 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:57,400 Speaker 3: backed out. 443 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,119 Speaker 4: Did you want to be the bride? 444 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 3: I've had a group of four friends since elementary school. 445 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,320 Speaker 3: The five of us have stayed close friends through elementary, 446 00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:07,840 Speaker 3: middle school, and high school, going to the same schools, 447 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 3: and then through university separate universities, but we would visit 448 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,359 Speaker 3: often and stay very close. We are all twenty six 449 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 3: year old guys and have been friends for nineteen years now. 450 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,760 Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Ami the whole busy 451 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 3: computer And if you want to submit your own stories, 452 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,919 Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay story Time, Separate it 453 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 3: and I'm Angie. 454 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,280 Speaker 4: I'm Carly, and we're here. 455 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,199 Speaker 3: To give good advice. Goofilly, But we don't have all 456 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 3: the answers. We're just guessing what we would do in 457 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:30,919 Speaker 3: the situation. But let us know what you would do 458 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:34,639 Speaker 3: in the comments. So op sets. One of the guys 459 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,600 Speaker 3: in the group, Brandon, is getting married in January. Brandon 460 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,200 Speaker 3: asked the other three guys to be groomsman in his wedding, 461 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,040 Speaker 3: alongside it's two brothers and two of his friends from college. 462 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 3: This left me the only homie in the group. 463 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 4: Who wasn't a groomsman. 464 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,359 Speaker 3: I was upset when I first realized, but I talked 465 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,159 Speaker 3: to my parents about it and they reminded me that 466 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,840 Speaker 3: it's Brandon's wedding, not a group event. He could have 467 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 3: who he likes up there, and just because I'm not 468 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,800 Speaker 3: a groomsman doesn't mean that Brandon doesn't consider me a friend. 469 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,040 Speaker 3: And he already has seven people up there besides him, 470 00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 3: which is a lot. My parents are the only ones 471 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,840 Speaker 3: I ever told that I was upset about it, and 472 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,360 Speaker 3: now I think I'm pretty well over it. They've had 473 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 3: a few grooms party gatherings, like they went for drinks 474 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 3: after they got fitted for suits and went golfing together, 475 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 3: and Brandon and his fiance had a barbecue for their 476 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:23,399 Speaker 3: wedding party. That's always a weird reminder for me. My 477 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,200 Speaker 3: friends and I usually go on a trip in the 478 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,480 Speaker 3: summer to watch a football game. We started the tradition 479 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,640 Speaker 3: in our first year in university and have been going 480 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 3: every year since. It's always just been the five of 481 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,199 Speaker 3: us friends and we go for like three or four days. 482 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,359 Speaker 3: On Tuesday, my three friends came to me and wanted 483 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,639 Speaker 3: to know my opinion on inviting the other groomsmen on 484 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,320 Speaker 3: the trip as a surprise to Brandon. The three of 485 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 3: them were all clearly for this idea and really wanted 486 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,800 Speaker 3: me to say yes. I told them that I wasn't sure. 487 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,119 Speaker 3: I had to think about it, which was awkward because 488 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,160 Speaker 3: it was obvious that they thought I was just going 489 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,640 Speaker 3: to say yes. I spoke to them about it today 490 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,560 Speaker 3: and said that Honestly, I don't want to go on 491 00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:01,240 Speaker 3: a trip being the only non groomsman. I know Brandon's 492 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,000 Speaker 3: brothers and I've met his college friends and they're all cool, 493 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,200 Speaker 3: but I don't want to be the clear odd man out. 494 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,159 Speaker 3: I told my friends that they should do it. I 495 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,040 Speaker 3: just won't go this year, which was fine for me 496 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,520 Speaker 3: because I could do with saving some money because I 497 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,040 Speaker 3: have a separate destination. 498 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:15,200 Speaker 4: Wedding to go to in February. 499 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,520 Speaker 3: Now, the other guys won't invite the other groomsmen if 500 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,359 Speaker 3: it means that I won't come, but it's clear that 501 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,000 Speaker 3: they're also annoyed at them not being able to invite 502 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,639 Speaker 3: them because of me. One of my friends spoke to 503 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,480 Speaker 3: me separately and he told me that he really thinks 504 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,080 Speaker 3: I'm not fair or a good friend, and asked if 505 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,960 Speaker 3: it's because I resent not being a groupsman. It feels 506 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,719 Speaker 3: like any decision I make, besides agreeing to go on 507 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,679 Speaker 3: the trip with the four other groomsmen, is going to 508 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,840 Speaker 3: make them mad at me. Am I they hope for 509 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 3: backing out of the trip if I am going to 510 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:43,119 Speaker 3: be the only non groomsman. 511 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:44,880 Speaker 4: And we do have some comments, but what. 512 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:45,439 Speaker 2: Are your thoughts? 513 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:45,920 Speaker 4: Oh? 514 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,920 Speaker 6: I'm interested too. I did see the verdict. I won't 515 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:53,159 Speaker 6: reveel yet, but I'm very torn on that one because 516 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,639 Speaker 6: a good part of me is kind of like you 517 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,520 Speaker 6: do seem resentful and just a little booty hurt. 518 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,240 Speaker 5: Yeah, and I. 519 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,480 Speaker 6: Think so I'm like, yeah, for sure, I can totally 520 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,320 Speaker 6: understand being like, wow, all of that really hurt. 521 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:06,000 Speaker 4: Yeah. 522 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 6: I feel like we also could have maybe just had 523 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,920 Speaker 6: a conversation like hey, I'm I'm really hurt about this 524 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:15,080 Speaker 6: exactly all this other stuff. But it's like, now they 525 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:19,320 Speaker 6: are including you in something because it's your guys' yearly tradition. Yeah, 526 00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,760 Speaker 6: Like I wouldn't miss out on a yearly tradition just 527 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 6: because you were but hurt about the wedding stuff. 528 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:25,800 Speaker 4: Still, yeah, it's like. 529 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,200 Speaker 3: You might feel left out about not being the only groomsman, 530 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,159 Speaker 3: but at the same time, it's like, okay, well at least. 531 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,879 Speaker 6: Die are included, Like right, Yeah, I'm kind of like, okay, 532 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:36,840 Speaker 6: maybe they've come around, Like I think you should still 533 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,240 Speaker 6: tell them how much that hurt you. 534 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,919 Speaker 4: Kind of thing. Yeah, maybe there was a good reason 535 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:41,320 Speaker 4: for it. 536 00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 6: Maybe it was to keep the thing even maybe he 537 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:45,440 Speaker 6: really wanted you as one. 538 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,119 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it was just unfortunately you didn't make it. 539 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,439 Speaker 6: I think it stinks that they didn't invite you to 540 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:55,680 Speaker 6: some of this stuff still, like, yeah, include a non 541 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 6: wedding party member. 542 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:57,480 Speaker 2: Totally. 543 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,840 Speaker 4: My sisters did that. Yeah, maybe it would have been 544 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,440 Speaker 4: more awkward. Maybe it was a money thing. 545 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:04,359 Speaker 6: Yeah, Like, I just think that overall, there needs to 546 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,159 Speaker 6: be a conversation and yeah, just get it out in 547 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:07,520 Speaker 6: the air. 548 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,520 Speaker 4: But don't miss your tradition exactly. 549 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,920 Speaker 3: It feels like opinions have been made but not talked about, 550 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,800 Speaker 3: right like on all fronts. Yeah, and we do have 551 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,240 Speaker 3: some relevant comments and the verdict from all of these 552 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:19,680 Speaker 3: will present not the. 553 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,439 Speaker 4: A hole but dear word. 554 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:26,080 Speaker 3: Eighty twenty one says, everyone sucks here. It's rubbish that 555 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,960 Speaker 3: you're the only one left out of the wedding party, 556 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,280 Speaker 3: but that's not going to change. Go on the trip 557 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,200 Speaker 3: with them, make some new friends with the other groom's 558 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 3: win to celebrate your friend is getting married, and enjoy 559 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,679 Speaker 3: the wedding without any responsibilities. Have you talked to the 560 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 3: stag about how you feel about being left out and 561 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,960 Speaker 3: is there any rationale? For example, did you move away 562 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 3: or spend less time with them than the others Ope 563 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,359 Speaker 3: says I didn't talk to Brandon or my other friends 564 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:51,160 Speaker 3: about how I felt. I don't want to start any 565 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 3: problems or drama in the group, so doing that. Yeah, 566 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,240 Speaker 3: so I would not talk to my other friends about it. 567 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,760 Speaker 3: At the end of the day, it's Brandon's decision to make. 568 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,199 Speaker 3: I also never talked to Brandon. Figured it would be 569 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,399 Speaker 3: lame to ask why he didn't include me, And at 570 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,000 Speaker 3: the end of the day, he made his decision and 571 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:08,199 Speaker 3: I respect it. Also, there's a chance that I wouldn't 572 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,120 Speaker 3: want to hear his answer. I don't think anything would 573 00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:12,919 Speaker 3: be gained by finding out that he thinks of me 574 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,119 Speaker 3: as a lesser friend, for example. So I don't know 575 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,520 Speaker 3: the rationale and I and honestly, at this point I 576 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,480 Speaker 3: try not to think about what reasons it could be 577 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,280 Speaker 3: because I think it would be at the risk of 578 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,520 Speaker 3: inventing a problem in my head between us if I 579 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,400 Speaker 3: did that. I've known since June, so at this point 580 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:30,720 Speaker 3: I wouldn't bring it up either way too late to ask, 581 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,919 Speaker 3: in my opinion, Yeah, real quick. 582 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,400 Speaker 6: I agree that everyone kind of sucks in this story. Yeah, 583 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,320 Speaker 6: I was definitely leaning more to that than not the 584 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 6: a hole. Yeah, because you could have had that conversation, Like, yeah, 585 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:47,920 Speaker 6: at the point where you're not having the conversation, you're 586 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,960 Speaker 6: just stewing on it and you're gonna miss out on 587 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:50,800 Speaker 6: those other things. 588 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,720 Speaker 4: You are putting yourself in that position. 589 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 3: Yeah exactly, it's like you're you still can have that conversation, 590 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:01,280 Speaker 3: like you're literally contradicting yourself. 591 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:02,320 Speaker 6: Right. 592 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,159 Speaker 3: It's so weird to see because you're like, yeah, I 593 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,440 Speaker 3: don't know what the rationale is. I don't know why 594 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,359 Speaker 3: I'm doing this, but like it might have something to 595 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,800 Speaker 3: do with the fact that I'm really sad, and I 596 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:13,800 Speaker 3: also don't want to ask a question because I don't 597 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:15,960 Speaker 3: know I think the answer will make me more sad. 598 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,240 Speaker 6: He's like, I'm going to continue to overthink about what 599 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 6: the answer could be. Yeah, but I'm not going to ask, 600 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,320 Speaker 6: so I'm just going to stay in my head about 601 00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:23,159 Speaker 6: what the answer could be. 602 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:23,880 Speaker 4: Yeah exactly. 603 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:27,320 Speaker 3: It's like you're being so avoidant because clearly, I mean, 604 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 3: conversation does not feel easy to you, which is okay, 605 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:34,199 Speaker 3: like that I understand that, but you're it's not going 606 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,639 Speaker 3: to get any better, and yeah, you just kind of 607 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:41,359 Speaker 3: refusing to go to the trip. If if it's going 608 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,320 Speaker 3: to be a groomsman thing, and then also not talking 609 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,080 Speaker 3: about it, like your emotions are coming off either way. 610 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:48,639 Speaker 4: People know how you feel it, they're seeing it. Still, 611 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:49,719 Speaker 4: just talk about it. 612 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,000 Speaker 3: It doesn't need to be like, yo, why didn't you 613 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,639 Speaker 3: make me a groomsman? Just be like hey, like just 614 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,119 Speaker 3: wanted to like I know, we just never talked about it. 615 00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,520 Speaker 3: I just want to get it out in the. 616 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 4: Clear, like it's been in my head a little bit, 617 00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,600 Speaker 4: like you talk about it was the reason, like, let 618 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,520 Speaker 4: me know, make sure to do anything kind. 619 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,640 Speaker 3: Of Yeah exactly exactly, Like that's and. 620 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:09,640 Speaker 4: It'd be so simple. 621 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:14,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly right on, Moa says not the a hole 622 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:17,160 Speaker 3: say the others should definitely attend. Say you'll still go, 623 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,120 Speaker 3: then have a last minute issue crop up that means 624 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,760 Speaker 3: you have to cancel nearer the time. Oh well, don't 625 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,520 Speaker 3: do that. I understand your feelings are hurt, and unfortunately, 626 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,679 Speaker 3: it's hard to imagine your friendship with these guys and 627 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,679 Speaker 3: the groom remaining the same. Now it seems really strange 628 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 3: to have such a big wedding party but leave you 629 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,320 Speaker 3: out of it. I don't blame you if you do 630 00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:37,600 Speaker 3: feel resentful and hop he says, dang, I would hate. 631 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,199 Speaker 4: To lose my friends over this. And we do have 632 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 4: an update. If you don't talk to them, talk to 633 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:42,560 Speaker 4: their ghana. 634 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,480 Speaker 3: Six weeks later, I am going to go on the trip, yeah, 635 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,879 Speaker 3: thank goodness, Oh my god. And I told them that 636 00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,920 Speaker 3: they could invite the other guys. We leave tomorrow. Three 637 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,320 Speaker 3: of the four other groomsmen are coming. One of Brandon's 638 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,080 Speaker 3: brothers can't make it. Truthfully, I don't really know if 639 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:00,680 Speaker 3: it's a happy update or not. They they weren't going 640 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,679 Speaker 3: to invite the other guys after I said no, so 641 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,320 Speaker 3: it would have just been us, but I told them 642 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,119 Speaker 3: that they could. I guess I just didn't feel like 643 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,520 Speaker 3: being on the trip and holding and them holding a 644 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,640 Speaker 3: grudge and things being awkward because I said no, Thank goodness. 645 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, I do fear it still hasn't been talked about. Yeah, 646 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:16,280 Speaker 4: I really don't think it has. 647 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:20,199 Speaker 6: So my advice would still be to do that. But 648 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,320 Speaker 6: I'm glad you're going on the trip, yeah, and that 649 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,960 Speaker 6: things seemed to maybe maybe the trip will just go 650 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,359 Speaker 6: so well that you'll like get over. 651 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:29,840 Speaker 3: It kind of thing, Yeah, exactly. 652 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,639 Speaker 6: But if you feel even a twinge of that still, 653 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:35,120 Speaker 6: you have to talk about. 654 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,000 Speaker 3: It, Yeah, because you said, you got over it, but 655 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,280 Speaker 3: I don't think you have. I don't think you happen 656 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:40,640 Speaker 3: You've just pushed it away. 657 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,440 Speaker 4: We're lying to ourselves. 658 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, but there is a little bit more to the story. 659 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,360 Speaker 3: I was clearly going to go on the trip before 660 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 3: they decided to invite the others, so I couldn't really 661 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,960 Speaker 3: honestly say that I wasn't going to save money, and 662 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:54,640 Speaker 3: maybe I said yes just to. 663 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:56,680 Speaker 4: Avoid anyone being mad at me. I don't know. 664 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,520 Speaker 3: I'm actually going to room with Brandon's brother that is coming. 665 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,840 Speaker 3: He is cool, so I don't really mind that. Hopefully 666 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:05,040 Speaker 3: the trip goes well, and there are some comments, I'm 667 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,120 Speaker 3: just gonna jump right in. Comment number one says, I 668 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:10,440 Speaker 3: really wonder what happened after the wedding. It feels like 669 00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:12,360 Speaker 3: OPI is on his way out as a group friend, 670 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 3: and as they all start settling down, it'll be harder 671 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,040 Speaker 3: to maintain these dynamics anyway. Someone else responds, this is 672 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:20,400 Speaker 3: my thought. This very much feels like the other four 673 00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:23,720 Speaker 3: are much closer than Opie ever realized, and he's the afterthought. 674 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:26,520 Speaker 3: Dang the fact that not one of them even felt 675 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:28,320 Speaker 3: the need to address the elephant in the room. 676 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:28,800 Speaker 4: Is quite telling. 677 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,600 Speaker 3: Opie could have easily joined in several of the group 678 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:35,200 Speaker 3: activities while not being a groomsman. They clearly wanted him excluded. 679 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,600 Speaker 3: I imagine he would have been excluded from the trip if 680 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:40,840 Speaker 3: they could have managed it while still saving face. Dang's 681 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,560 Speaker 3: a lot of assumptions here, But that's the end. 682 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:44,160 Speaker 4: Of that story. 683 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,440 Speaker 2: Well, well, hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to 684 00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:49,680 Speaker 2: the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsors. 685 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 2: My housemates lept on my bed without permission and thinks 686 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:54,320 Speaker 2: nothing is wrong with it. 687 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,000 Speaker 5: Why don't they have their own bed? 688 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,360 Speaker 2: Back in July, I began renting a room that would 689 00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:01,080 Speaker 2: be closer to my new workplace. Three bed, three bath 690 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,560 Speaker 2: house and two tenants would be leaving. One of the tenants, 691 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 2: let's call her Regina, would continue living downstairs until the 692 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:08,480 Speaker 2: end of the year. I had the chance to speak 693 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,880 Speaker 2: with Regina on the phone to talk about house rules 694 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 2: and the breakdown of bills and utilities. By the way, 695 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,440 Speaker 2: this comes from user Nahnie And if you want to 696 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,520 Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the RT size Showay 697 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:22,240 Speaker 2: story Time severed it. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, 698 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,160 Speaker 2: and we had to give you a little good advice, goofy. 699 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:27,120 Speaker 2: But we don't know all the answers. We only know 700 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:30,240 Speaker 2: what we do. So if you know what you would do, 701 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,920 Speaker 2: just tell us, Opie says. One of the most important 702 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,080 Speaker 2: rules she told me was that we weren't allowed to have. 703 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:36,719 Speaker 4: Boys stay overnight. 704 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 2: She explained she is married and because of her beliefs 705 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,080 Speaker 2: and culture, she's not comfortable with having other men stay 706 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 2: overnight in the house. I told her I respected her 707 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:46,240 Speaker 2: beliefs and asked if it was okay if I had 708 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,680 Speaker 2: my boyfriend, friends, or even my family come over just 709 00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:50,600 Speaker 2: to visit or to help me move my things into 710 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,840 Speaker 2: the house. She told me it was okay with her 711 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,280 Speaker 2: to have my boyfriend and male friends come over as 712 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,400 Speaker 2: long as I told her beforehand that they would be visiting. 713 00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:59,600 Speaker 2: I then explained that even though I would not physically 714 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:02,360 Speaker 2: be there or move in until August, I'm still paying 715 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,520 Speaker 2: for rents starting July because I don't want to lose 716 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,600 Speaker 2: my spot in the house. Fast forward to the beginning 717 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,960 Speaker 2: of August. I decided to take a bed I bought 718 00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:11,080 Speaker 2: at Aikea to the house and have my boyfriend help 719 00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:12,720 Speaker 2: me build it. I made sure to let Regina know 720 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:14,960 Speaker 2: earlier that day and updated her when I was close 721 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,040 Speaker 2: to the house. Meeting her in person for the first 722 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:20,160 Speaker 2: time went smoothly, and she even gave us snacks and 723 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,840 Speaker 2: drinks as refreshments while we were building my bed. Before leaving, 724 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,080 Speaker 2: I wanted to lock my room door, but notice that 725 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 2: the previous tenant forgot to leave me the keys to 726 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,920 Speaker 2: my room. I decided to just ask my landlady for 727 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,680 Speaker 2: a spare key next time I saw her and left 728 00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,280 Speaker 2: the house. Two days later, I had an hr slash 729 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,560 Speaker 2: new hire appointment at my work, so I thought it 730 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:41,200 Speaker 2: would be good to drop off some stuff at the 731 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,600 Speaker 2: house since I would be in the area again. I 732 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,720 Speaker 2: asked my boyfriend to come with me. We decided to 733 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,320 Speaker 2: stop by the house first before heading to my workplace. 734 00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,480 Speaker 2: This time, I texted Regina five minutes before arriving to 735 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:54,600 Speaker 2: the house, which I understand I should have done much earlier. 736 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:56,720 Speaker 2: We opened the front door and the first thing we 737 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,880 Speaker 2: saw was an air mattress blocking the door. After pushing it, 738 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:02,680 Speaker 2: we saw an absolute mess in the living room in 739 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:05,600 Speaker 2: common area. It literally looked like a tornado had flown 740 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 2: through the room. Food, clothes, and trash were all over 741 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,600 Speaker 2: the floor, table, and couches. Then when we walked up 742 00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:13,320 Speaker 2: the stairs to go to my bedroom, we found my 743 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:16,960 Speaker 2: door completely wide open, with someone sleeping on my bed 744 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:20,160 Speaker 2: back facing me, and a bunch of stuff scattered or 745 00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,720 Speaker 2: hanging in the room. Is there a cryptid sleeping in 746 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:23,200 Speaker 2: your bed? 747 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,360 Speaker 5: I think that your roommate turns into a werewolf, and 748 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:27,520 Speaker 5: that it was. 749 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,960 Speaker 2: Just the full moon, a werewolf in the shape of 750 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,920 Speaker 2: a gross person. I didn't feel comfortable walking in there, 751 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:34,800 Speaker 2: even though it was my own room. I felt so 752 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,479 Speaker 2: shocked and disgusted that I ran downstairs to see if 753 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:40,120 Speaker 2: Regina was in her room. I walked towards her room 754 00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:43,160 Speaker 2: and found her bedroom door wide open. I saw someone 755 00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,479 Speaker 2: else on her bed, which I assumed to be her 756 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,520 Speaker 2: mother or grandma. I tried asking where Regina was, and 757 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 2: she said in broken English, sorry, I don't speak English. 758 00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:54,240 Speaker 2: So I took up my phone and called Regina. Not 759 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,080 Speaker 2: a second later, I heard a phone ringing from upstairs. 760 00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,520 Speaker 2: I quickly tried to walk upstairs, but Regina popped her 761 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,840 Speaker 2: head out before I could completely go up the stairs 762 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,479 Speaker 2: to my room. I then noticed that the shirt Regina 763 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,760 Speaker 2: was wearing was the same shirt the stranger sleeping on 764 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:10,080 Speaker 2: my bed was wearing. Turns out she was the one 765 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:12,720 Speaker 2: in my room and sleeping on my bed. She told 766 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,440 Speaker 2: me to wait downstairs because she was not wearing anything 767 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,000 Speaker 2: else besides her shirt, and since my boyfriend was there, 768 00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,200 Speaker 2: she was not comfortable walking downstairs to talk to us. 769 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:23,760 Speaker 2: I patiently waited and then heard a door close upstairs. 770 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:25,680 Speaker 2: Regina then called me on the phone and said I 771 00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:27,880 Speaker 2: could go upstairs. All the stuff that had been in 772 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:32,280 Speaker 2: my room was gone and moved into the room next door. Unfortunately, 773 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,520 Speaker 2: I didn't have time to confront her right away since 774 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,400 Speaker 2: I was going to be late for my appointment at work. 775 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,240 Speaker 2: After my hr appointment, I called my landlady and told 776 00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:41,920 Speaker 2: her everything that happened. He told me that what Regina 777 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:45,720 Speaker 2: did was unacceptable and disrespectful since she violated my privacy. 778 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,800 Speaker 2: I asked if it was okay to change my door 779 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:51,600 Speaker 2: lock entirely and give her the spare key afterward. She 780 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,920 Speaker 2: said yes, so my boyfriend and I drove to home 781 00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:56,560 Speaker 2: depot to buy a new lock and screwdriver to assemble it. 782 00:33:56,600 --> 00:34:00,320 Speaker 2: We also bought some disaffected spray and wipes to inact 783 00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 2: my room in bed. When we got to the house, 784 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,840 Speaker 2: Regina and the family member were nowhere to be found. 785 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,080 Speaker 5: To disinfect your room in bed? 786 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:10,480 Speaker 2: This is just like really dirty, really weird. 787 00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,640 Speaker 5: Really weird that we have no idea why all of 788 00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:15,480 Speaker 5: that happened or why the house was like a mess. 789 00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:17,960 Speaker 5: But also I'm a little bit I'm a little bit 790 00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:22,000 Speaker 5: confused as to why you would have to disinfect your bed, Like, 791 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:24,480 Speaker 5: how messy was it in your room? Because wouldn't you 792 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,000 Speaker 5: just wash your sheets? 793 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,440 Speaker 2: I don't think that's I think she's in a different 794 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,640 Speaker 2: room now. All her stuff was moved into the next room. 795 00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:30,880 Speaker 2: I know. 796 00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:33,560 Speaker 5: But op's saying that she wants to disinfect her room 797 00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:33,959 Speaker 5: in bed. 798 00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,399 Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know if maybe she's just buying 799 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,560 Speaker 2: less of maybe she's just, you know, a bit capturing materials. 800 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,680 Speaker 5: I'm just confused as to why we know, just wash 801 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:42,760 Speaker 5: the sheets, That's. 802 00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:43,240 Speaker 4: All I'm saying. 803 00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:45,320 Speaker 2: The landlady's husband then came over to pick up the 804 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:48,160 Speaker 2: spare key to the new lock we installed. Before leaving, 805 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:50,640 Speaker 2: I made sure to lock my room door. An hour later, 806 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,920 Speaker 2: when I got back home, I called Regina to talk 807 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,520 Speaker 2: about the incident. Before I could say anything, she said, 808 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,040 Speaker 2: hear me out let me explain myself first, I later talk. 809 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,160 Speaker 2: She said she was scared she would be alone in 810 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,080 Speaker 2: the house, so she called her mom to stay with 811 00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,520 Speaker 2: her to keep her company and to help clean the 812 00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,800 Speaker 2: house since the previous tenants apparently left it messy and dirty. 813 00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:11,200 Speaker 2: She explained that her grandma also came but suddenly got 814 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,480 Speaker 2: pneumonia and had to be taken to the hospital late 815 00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,319 Speaker 2: at night. She said she got back to the house 816 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:18,919 Speaker 2: around two am. Since her grandma was recovering, Regina told 817 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,680 Speaker 2: her grandma to sleep on her bed while she went 818 00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:24,560 Speaker 2: to my room to sleep on my bed. She then said, 819 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:27,480 Speaker 2: after hearing my reasons and knowing that it was an emergency, 820 00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:30,440 Speaker 2: I appreciate it if you would be flexible in understanding 821 00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:34,000 Speaker 2: of my situation. I expressed that I felt sorry about 822 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 2: her grandma's situation and hope she recovers well, but shared 823 00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:39,640 Speaker 2: how disrespected and shocked I felt that she didn't even 824 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:42,000 Speaker 2: consider asking me for permission to go into my room 825 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,560 Speaker 2: and sleep on my bed, especially when we are still 826 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,719 Speaker 2: living in a pandemic. That's why she butted in before 827 00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:49,799 Speaker 2: I could say anything else and said, well, all you 828 00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:51,560 Speaker 2: had in there was your bed, and you weren't going 829 00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:53,960 Speaker 2: to move in until later anyways. I explained that I 830 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,399 Speaker 2: had been paying rent since July and technically could move 831 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,560 Speaker 2: in whenever I wanted. I also told her she could 832 00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,640 Speaker 2: have slept in the living room, as I saw an 833 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:02,640 Speaker 2: air mattress in the house that she could have used. 834 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,760 Speaker 2: Regina continued making excuses, and I told her this could 835 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,920 Speaker 2: never happen again. This is a really bad way to start. 836 00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,800 Speaker 2: This is a terrible, terrible start. Did I just wanted 837 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,560 Speaker 2: to hear Regina say sorry because of how violated and 838 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:17,960 Speaker 2: disrespected I felt. She then said, what do you want 839 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,319 Speaker 2: to do? Pay for a new mattress or bad? I 840 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:22,239 Speaker 2: can give you money if that's what you want. I 841 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,799 Speaker 2: completely lost it. I told her I didn't want her money, 842 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,160 Speaker 2: just a genuine apology. She then complained that I disrespected 843 00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:31,000 Speaker 2: her by bringing my boyfriend over without letting her know beforehand. 844 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:33,720 Speaker 2: Texting five minutes before is too late of a notice, 845 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,600 Speaker 2: she said. I apologized and said it was wrong that 846 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,960 Speaker 2: I didn't inform her earlier. If this wasn't in the 847 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,840 Speaker 2: midst of the pandemic, I'd be like, we're just fighting 848 00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:43,040 Speaker 2: immediately a new place to live. 849 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,560 Speaker 5: Yeah, but it was so hard to find places to live. 850 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:49,319 Speaker 2: So yeah, barring that situation, yeah, I. 851 00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,560 Speaker 5: Would just say move out, but not in this situation. 852 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,400 Speaker 2: I think I'm anyone know how long it takes to 853 00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:57,200 Speaker 2: get to Mars. I'm moving to the moon man. I'm 854 00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:00,879 Speaker 2: a moon man now. Man, I'm going full blown moon man. 855 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:02,480 Speaker 4: Moon be nice feam. 856 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:06,960 Speaker 2: Ain't no jermy googays on the moon man. Regina then said, Okay, so, 857 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,040 Speaker 2: since you made a mistake and I made a mistake, 858 00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,279 Speaker 2: let's call it even. I said I hadn't even heard 859 00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:14,239 Speaker 2: an apology from her yet, and she responded, maybe's such 860 00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,080 Speaker 2: a big deal out of it and being so rude 861 00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,200 Speaker 2: to me right now, You're so difficult to speak with. 862 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,279 Speaker 2: I don't want to argue with you anymore. I'm older 863 00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:22,560 Speaker 2: than you. You shouldn't even be speaking to me this way. 864 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,279 Speaker 2: At that moment, I said okay, bye, thank you and 865 00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:27,680 Speaker 2: hung up. Right after the call ended, I literally cried 866 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,880 Speaker 2: because of how emotionally draining the call was and the 867 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,799 Speaker 2: whole situation in general. Am I being inconsiderate for making 868 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:34,560 Speaker 2: a big deal out of her being in my room 869 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:35,600 Speaker 2: and sleeping on my bed? 870 00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:37,600 Speaker 5: No, No, it's weird. 871 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,640 Speaker 2: No, And there's a bunch of stuff hung up in there. 872 00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,120 Speaker 2: Come number one? Does your landlord know that Regina's trying 873 00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:45,520 Speaker 2: to make unilateral decisions for a house she doesn't own. 874 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,080 Speaker 2: Oh so she has a husband, but what if you're 875 00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:51,160 Speaker 2: not comfortable with him around the hypocrisy? Oh, my landlady 876 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,400 Speaker 2: definitely knows, and she even told me before that Regina 877 00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,200 Speaker 2: is a difficult person to talk to. Yet my landlady 878 00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,520 Speaker 2: said the house rule is something the tenants should agree 879 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,120 Speaker 2: on since she's not the one living. Reply says, well, 880 00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:03,560 Speaker 2: then tell Regina you weren't comfortable with old people and 881 00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:05,759 Speaker 2: that her grandmother will no longer be able to visit. 882 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,040 Speaker 2: It's a fair compromise to your pardner not being able 883 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,880 Speaker 2: to spend the night. Seriously, though, break your lease. I 884 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:14,680 Speaker 2: wouldn't again during that time unless you had another one 885 00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:16,960 Speaker 2: lined up. Comment to I'm confused why she gets to 886 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,040 Speaker 2: tell you who you are allowed to have visit unless 887 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:21,720 Speaker 2: she owns the house. She's a renter, just like you. Together, 888 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,840 Speaker 2: you can make rules you both want to agree to 889 00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:27,160 Speaker 2: and follow, but one renter should not make all the rules, 890 00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:30,160 Speaker 2: Opie says. Honestly, I don't know why either. I thought 891 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,600 Speaker 2: my landlady would be the one to explain house rules, 892 00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:35,600 Speaker 2: but she suggested that I called Regina to explain it 893 00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:38,200 Speaker 2: for me, since it's something that involves both of us 894 00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:41,680 Speaker 2: and not her. Like wit comment three, Regina doesn't even 895 00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:45,240 Speaker 2: own the house. Though you're paying for rent to someone else. 896 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:48,160 Speaker 2: It's your home too, and you can have whoever you 897 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,839 Speaker 2: want over whenever you're not the a whole Opie says, 898 00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:52,640 Speaker 2: thank you, But somehow I still feel bad about the 899 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:54,400 Speaker 2: whole thing, and that's the end of that story. 900 00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:55,200 Speaker 5: Don't feel bad. 901 00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:59,240 Speaker 2: Your roommates look great, gret Yeah, and honestly, with barring 902 00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:02,560 Speaker 2: barring any sort of like religious reasons or like whatever, 903 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:04,400 Speaker 2: like I'd be like, I don't care what you have 904 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:05,840 Speaker 2: to say. I don't care if you don't want my 905 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:07,920 Speaker 2: boyfriend here, I pay right just like you. Yeah, my 906 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:09,399 Speaker 2: boyfriend can be here whenever I want. 907 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,480 Speaker 5: After this, again, burring religious reasons, after this, I'd be like, 908 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,000 Speaker 5: you brought your grandma in drash my room and spend 909 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:15,799 Speaker 5: the night in my room. 910 00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:19,000 Speaker 2: So yeah, I literally don't care. I do not care 911 00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,440 Speaker 2: what you have to say. As soon as this situation, 912 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,759 Speaker 2: as soon as I find another place to live, I'm moving. 913 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:27,640 Speaker 2: I'm not settling down here. I am not living with Regina. 914 00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:31,040 Speaker 2: I am moving out as soon as humanly possible. And 915 00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:34,840 Speaker 2: if your roommate gives you the ick and is a 916 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,359 Speaker 2: hard person to live with, you should think the same thing. 917 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:38,640 Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story. 918 00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:42,879 Speaker 5: My roommate acted rudely after I let my mother move 919 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:43,439 Speaker 5: in with us. 920 00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:45,839 Speaker 2: Well, maybe your mom sucks. You haven't thought about that. 921 00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:49,640 Speaker 5: My twenty four female roommate twenty seven female refuses to 922 00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:52,560 Speaker 5: let my mother sixty one female, move into a vacant 923 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,680 Speaker 5: room in my apartment because i just can't live with 924 00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,239 Speaker 5: someone's mother. I'm too grown for that. By the way, 925 00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,000 Speaker 5: this comes from incandescent lights. And if you want to 926 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,000 Speaker 5: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay 927 00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:03,279 Speaker 5: storytime subreddit. 928 00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:05,600 Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota. 929 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,800 Speaker 5: I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice goofy. 930 00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:09,960 Speaker 5: But we don't have all the answers. We only know 931 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,560 Speaker 5: what we'd do, So let us know what you would 932 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:13,480 Speaker 5: do in the comments. For a context, I have lived 933 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:17,080 Speaker 5: in my apartment for six years. My roommate, who will 934 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:20,440 Speaker 5: call Anna, is a subletter not on the lease she pays. 935 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,919 Speaker 5: Our other roommate twenty six mail rent and he sends 936 00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,480 Speaker 5: it to our landlord. Anna is very much what I 937 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:28,360 Speaker 5: would like to call a clean freak. She sends entire 938 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,360 Speaker 5: paragraphs about what I view as small things, saying stuff 939 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,280 Speaker 5: like I feel like I do everything around here, Hey, 940 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:37,360 Speaker 5: stove wasn't clean properly, et cetera. I get the feeling 941 00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:40,200 Speaker 5: that these messages are all directed at me, as she 942 00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:43,120 Speaker 5: usually comes to me with these complaints. To the best 943 00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,879 Speaker 5: of my knowledge, she doesn't treat my other roommate this way. 944 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,160 Speaker 5: The two of them have been friends for many years. 945 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:51,640 Speaker 5: I have multiple jobs and cannot keep up with her demands. 946 00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:55,000 Speaker 5: All of her messages read is passive aggressive, and it's 947 00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:57,440 Speaker 5: gotten to the point where nobody responds to her. I 948 00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:00,680 Speaker 5: am expected to do everything to her standard, but nothing 949 00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:02,719 Speaker 5: I do is good enough. Just believe me when I 950 00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:05,440 Speaker 5: tell you that she has a lot of unreasonable demands, 951 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,080 Speaker 5: such as no using the vacuum until she wakes up 952 00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,920 Speaker 5: she doesn't get up until three to four pm, and 953 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,640 Speaker 5: no using any dish toils to dry the counters. She 954 00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:16,239 Speaker 5: doesn't respect my schedule and needs, but I have to 955 00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:19,560 Speaker 5: respect hers. A couple of months ago, another roommate, Joyce, 956 00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:22,080 Speaker 5: fake name, and a good friend of mine moved out 957 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,600 Speaker 5: shortly after Anna moved in, saying to everyone that she 958 00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:28,880 Speaker 5: just needed more space. Privately, she told me part of 959 00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,920 Speaker 5: her reason for leaving was Anna and her controlling behavior. 960 00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:36,240 Speaker 5: When Joyce moved out, we of course needed another roommate. 961 00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,560 Speaker 5: My mom's lease was about to end and she wanted 962 00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:40,680 Speaker 5: to get out of the small town she's lived in 963 00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:43,400 Speaker 5: for over thirty years and moved to the city I'm in, 964 00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,080 Speaker 5: not only to be closer to me, she's thirteen hundred 965 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:49,200 Speaker 5: miles away, but also for better work opportunities. I offered 966 00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:52,440 Speaker 5: the room to her. She accepted and started making plans 967 00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,560 Speaker 5: for her big move. I told my roommates and they 968 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,080 Speaker 5: seemed fine with it. It was only going to be 969 00:41:57,120 --> 00:41:59,800 Speaker 5: temporary for a few months while she got her footing, 970 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:02,480 Speaker 5: new job, et cetera, and then she planned on finding 971 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:06,120 Speaker 5: her own apartment. Well, it's now three weeks out from 972 00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:09,279 Speaker 5: my mom's move, and Anna is not okay with my 973 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:13,880 Speaker 5: mom living here. She said, respectfully, in a pretty disrespectful tone, 974 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:16,920 Speaker 5: that she refuses to live with someone's mom. She's too 975 00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:19,560 Speaker 5: old for that, too grown in that it would completely 976 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:21,799 Speaker 5: change the way she acts and lives her life as 977 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,920 Speaker 5: in her culture, she has to act a certain way 978 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,719 Speaker 5: around people she considers elder. She wouldn't be able to 979 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:30,439 Speaker 5: have anyone over, no friends, no guys or girls. She's 980 00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:31,880 Speaker 5: maybe dating nobody. 981 00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:35,880 Speaker 2: I meanbody, that's not true. You're making rules for yourself 982 00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:39,960 Speaker 2: now and then saying there are rules now, those are yours. 983 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,640 Speaker 5: She would have to censor herself and it would completely 984 00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:45,000 Speaker 5: uproot her life. I assured her that it would be fine. 985 00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:45,799 Speaker 2: She's not my mom. 986 00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:48,920 Speaker 5: My mom's cool, I'm super chill. She'd barely be here anyway, 987 00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,160 Speaker 5: because she'd be at work or exploring the city. My 988 00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:54,279 Speaker 5: mom wouldn't care if she has people over, she said, Yeah, no, 989 00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:57,880 Speaker 5: that wouldn't work. I can't have someone's mom in my house, 990 00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:02,400 Speaker 5: my house, her house. That struck a nerve with me. 991 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:04,879 Speaker 5: I have been here for six years. She's been here 992 00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:07,360 Speaker 5: less than five months and is not on the lease. 993 00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,239 Speaker 5: She feels like a guest to me. 994 00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:11,720 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, then you don't have to listen to literally 995 00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:12,880 Speaker 2: a word, she says. 996 00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:15,759 Speaker 5: Also, you brought it up to all of your roommates. 997 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,040 Speaker 5: Everyone said they were okay with it, and now right 998 00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:21,080 Speaker 5: before your mom's come in, she's like, well, I actually 999 00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:24,160 Speaker 5: have changed my mind after all the nagging, reprimanding, and 1000 00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:27,440 Speaker 5: constant critiques of how I do things. I felt insulted, 1001 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:30,400 Speaker 5: but I didn't say anything. She has an entitled attitude, 1002 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,799 Speaker 5: came into someone else's home and told them how they 1003 00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:35,440 Speaker 5: have to live their life to suit her needs, and 1004 00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:37,600 Speaker 5: now she refuses to let my mom live here for 1005 00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:40,000 Speaker 5: just a couple of months. My mom is all her 1006 00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:43,160 Speaker 5: travel plans, booked a moving man. She's already packed her 1007 00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,840 Speaker 5: stuff into boxes and told her apartment that she's not 1008 00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:48,799 Speaker 5: renewing the lease. There's no going back. We thought there 1009 00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:50,600 Speaker 5: wasn't an issue that they're moving in for a bit, 1010 00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:52,399 Speaker 5: So now I don't know what to do. She can't 1011 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,480 Speaker 5: find an apartment on her own, and she doesn't make 1012 00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:57,960 Speaker 5: enough money yet to qualify for one. I'm her only option, really, 1013 00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:00,440 Speaker 5: and I do owe her. She's helped me up lot 1014 00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:03,799 Speaker 5: lately and been an amazing mother. She's the only real 1015 00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:05,839 Speaker 5: family I have, and I want to give her this 1016 00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,560 Speaker 5: opportunity to have a better life after all the things 1017 00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:10,759 Speaker 5: she's been through and all she's done for me. My 1018 00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:12,960 Speaker 5: mom wants to go ahead and just move in anyway, 1019 00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,359 Speaker 5: but I know Anna would make my life. Heck if 1020 00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:18,279 Speaker 5: that happened. She's a pretty volatile person, and I'm in 1021 00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:20,239 Speaker 5: no place to live in the same apartment as someone 1022 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,359 Speaker 5: who hates me. I've done my best to stay on 1023 00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:24,439 Speaker 5: her good side thus far, but I think this would 1024 00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,680 Speaker 5: end in complete disaster. I myself would move out to 1025 00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:29,400 Speaker 5: get away from all this, but I don't have the 1026 00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,960 Speaker 5: money to do so. And again, this place has been 1027 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,880 Speaker 5: my home for six years. Right after I made that post, 1028 00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,720 Speaker 5: Anna actually went on another one of her text message 1029 00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:39,960 Speaker 5: tie raids about how we don't do things in the 1030 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:43,680 Speaker 5: apartment to our very specific standards. Trying once again to 1031 00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:48,840 Speaker 5: control us. She berated us, called us disrespectful, insulted our character, 1032 00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:52,080 Speaker 5: and put herself on a pedestal as the gold standard 1033 00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:54,160 Speaker 5: for how a household should be run. It went on 1034 00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:57,759 Speaker 5: for hours, paragraph after paragraph, And you want to know 1035 00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,680 Speaker 5: why it's started. I dried off a small water spill 1036 00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:03,680 Speaker 5: on the kitchen counter with a kitchen towel, which, apparently, 1037 00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:06,320 Speaker 5: according to her, I'm not allowed to do. I stood 1038 00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,960 Speaker 5: up for myself, basically told her to shove it, and 1039 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,160 Speaker 5: she decided that was the time to bring up every 1040 00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:14,200 Speaker 5: gripe and groan and whiney complaint she had all while 1041 00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,920 Speaker 5: insulting Dan and me. Dan then join in and started 1042 00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,400 Speaker 5: backing me up, which was a shock seeing as he 1043 00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:21,839 Speaker 5: usually doesn't stand up for himself either. I sent Dan 1044 00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:25,440 Speaker 5: along private text message basically stating that Anna needs to 1045 00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:28,640 Speaker 5: be evicted. Her time is up and we can't keep 1046 00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:30,920 Speaker 5: living like this, and he agreed, but seemed to be 1047 00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:33,600 Speaker 5: dragging his feet until a few days later. Anna was 1048 00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,279 Speaker 5: having one of her loud phone conversations in the living 1049 00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:39,120 Speaker 5: room as she does, which we are not allowed to do, 1050 00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:43,279 Speaker 5: and Dan overheard her calling him discriminatory, saying that his 1051 00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:48,520 Speaker 5: family probably owned slaves at one point, among other untrue things. 1052 00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:52,000 Speaker 5: That was his final straw. He confronted her. She accused 1053 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:56,200 Speaker 5: him of evesdropping on your loud public living room conversation. 1054 00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:59,040 Speaker 5: She's like, you eaves dropped on the conversation that I 1055 00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:00,000 Speaker 5: was having right next to you. 1056 00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,359 Speaker 2: I'd be like if we were talking on the live 1057 00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:04,560 Speaker 2: and we said something and then we were like, ew, gross, 1058 00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,120 Speaker 2: you heard that you're leaves dropping on us right now? 1059 00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:07,759 Speaker 2: Why didn't you. 1060 00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,359 Speaker 5: Listen to the public live stream? We took that out 1061 00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:12,960 Speaker 5: of context, to which he replied, you're yelling in the 1062 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:16,560 Speaker 5: living room sound carries I know what I heart. I've 1063 00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,120 Speaker 5: also heard her talking badly about us, but nothing to 1064 00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:21,799 Speaker 5: that degree. On the fourteenth of last month, we sent 1065 00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:24,520 Speaker 5: her the thirty day notice to vacate while we were 1066 00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:26,279 Speaker 5: both out of the house, as we didn't want to 1067 00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,960 Speaker 5: be home when she exploded with rage, as she tends 1068 00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,359 Speaker 5: to do. We also informed her that my mom would 1069 00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:33,239 Speaker 5: be moving in. She had no say in the matter, 1070 00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:35,239 Speaker 5: seeing as she isn't on the lease and would not 1071 00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:37,880 Speaker 5: be here much longer anyway. The day she got the 1072 00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:41,719 Speaker 5: thirty day notice, she basically refused to leave and still is, 1073 00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:43,520 Speaker 5: so we will likely have to take her to court. 1074 00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:46,440 Speaker 5: We have talked to our landlord and explain the whole situation, 1075 00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:48,359 Speaker 5: and he is willing to help us get her out. 1076 00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:50,680 Speaker 5: She's making no moves to leave, and at this point 1077 00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:51,719 Speaker 5: only as nine. 1078 00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,920 Speaker 4: Days left of her thirty day notice. 1079 00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:56,040 Speaker 5: If I could, I would just throw her belongings on 1080 00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:57,800 Speaker 5: the street, just like she did to some of my 1081 00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:00,600 Speaker 5: stuff I left in the living room one time. But 1082 00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:01,480 Speaker 5: that's illegal. 1083 00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:05,719 Speaker 2: I know it's to protect people from exploitive situations, but 1084 00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:08,640 Speaker 2: I hate that it allows people like this to just 1085 00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:09,799 Speaker 2: exploit exist. 1086 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:13,920 Speaker 5: She keeps making excuses saying it's impossible she has nowhere 1087 00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:15,759 Speaker 5: to go. Well, you had a month to figure that out. 1088 00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,560 Speaker 5: She's going to be homeless, blah blah. Joyce, my old 1089 00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:21,279 Speaker 5: roommate and friend who moved out because of Anna, let 1090 00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:24,680 Speaker 5: me add on some interesting information. Anna has never paid 1091 00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:29,120 Speaker 5: her own bills the whole time she's lived here. Dan 1092 00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:31,480 Speaker 5: has been paying them for her. I knew he was 1093 00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:34,000 Speaker 5: covering her for electric and WiFi, but I didn't know 1094 00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,960 Speaker 5: it was rent too. I assume she worked from home 1095 00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:39,279 Speaker 5: or something, but nope, she has just been living her 1096 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:42,720 Speaker 5: unemployed life Bill's paid for. I freaking knew it. Bill's 1097 00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:45,839 Speaker 5: paid for. Only interested in trying to micromanage two grown 1098 00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:48,840 Speaker 5: adults with full time jobs instead of getting one herself, 1099 00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:52,359 Speaker 5: as I suspected. I also learned she's always treated Dan 1100 00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,399 Speaker 5: this way. She's always been crappy to him, just as 1101 00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:58,080 Speaker 5: she is to her other friend, the one whose laptop 1102 00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:00,319 Speaker 5: she's smashed. She's been using him for a year years, 1103 00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,520 Speaker 5: it seems, until recently he finally stopped letting her get 1104 00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:06,200 Speaker 5: away with it. My mom is here currently unpacking in 1105 00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:08,919 Speaker 5: the other room. Anna has been as obnoxious as ever 1106 00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:10,959 Speaker 5: since my mom and I got here. A couple days 1107 00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:14,359 Speaker 5: ago from our cross country road trip with the moving van, 1108 00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:19,000 Speaker 5: slamming doors, singing loudly, talking on the phone loudly, sending 1109 00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:21,600 Speaker 5: paragraphs about how my mom has a couple of boxes 1110 00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:24,040 Speaker 5: in the kitchen which are full of kitchen things, and 1111 00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:26,640 Speaker 5: now that makes the kitchen unlivable. Over her, Anna has 1112 00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:28,680 Speaker 5: no room to talk when a whole corner of the 1113 00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:31,279 Speaker 5: living room has been occupied by a giant pile of 1114 00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:34,880 Speaker 5: her boxes she hasn't unpacked for the last six plus months, 1115 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,880 Speaker 5: completely blocking access to the coat utility closet. 1116 00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:41,400 Speaker 2: Honestly, I have to put it out there. I put 1117 00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:43,880 Speaker 2: part of this blame on you, and it's not a 1118 00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:47,040 Speaker 2: small amount. You and Dan and the other roommate who 1119 00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:50,200 Speaker 2: just decided to run and leave instead of just confronting 1120 00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:54,040 Speaker 2: this girl. I do. I do put a non insignificant 1121 00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:57,160 Speaker 2: portion of blame upon you for having taken six months 1122 00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:59,480 Speaker 2: to be like this needs to change. 1123 00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:01,600 Speaker 5: I would love to just throw the boxes on the street, 1124 00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:03,359 Speaker 5: but she could call the cops on me for that, 1125 00:49:03,560 --> 00:49:06,000 Speaker 5: So for now they just have to stay. Despite all this, 1126 00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:08,880 Speaker 5: I am simply ignoring her. Dan currently has the flu, 1127 00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:10,879 Speaker 5: but once he feels better, we're gonna have to sit 1128 00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:13,200 Speaker 5: down and figure out our game plan. As Anna has 1129 00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,320 Speaker 5: said to both of us that she will not be leaving. 1130 00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:17,959 Speaker 5: She flat out refused to honor the thirty day notice 1131 00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,560 Speaker 5: we gave, so it's likely going to housing court for us, 1132 00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:23,800 Speaker 5: which unfortunately may be a long process. I cannot tolerate 1133 00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,280 Speaker 5: her being here for that long, and she can't afford 1134 00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:29,760 Speaker 5: to pay the retainer for legal representation. So fingers crossed, 1135 00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:32,200 Speaker 5: she gives up and leaves. And that's the end of 1136 00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:35,359 Speaker 5: that story, folks. I sure hope, so girl, I sure hope. 1137 00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:36,880 Speaker 2: So hey, it's John here. 1138 00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:38,600 Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick 1139 00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,960 Speaker 1: three minute break with aswerm our sponsors. 1140 00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:46,360 Speaker 2: Our landlords keep getting strangers into our apartment without a notice. 1141 00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:47,360 Speaker 5: That sounds illegal. 1142 00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:50,240 Speaker 2: My roommate and I moved into an apartment on June first. 1143 00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:53,440 Speaker 2: Immediately we started having issues with the heating and cooling. 1144 00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:55,880 Speaker 2: We let our landlord know as soon as possible, and 1145 00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:58,359 Speaker 2: they didn't get back to us until the morning they 1146 00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:00,759 Speaker 2: were going to let the handyman into our By the way, 1147 00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,719 Speaker 2: this comes from user historical Task sixty nine eighty three, 1148 00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:05,279 Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 1149 00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:06,840 Speaker 2: to the Arts side show. Okay, storried, I'm subbret It, 1150 00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:07,759 Speaker 2: I'm Dakota. 1151 00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:09,640 Speaker 5: I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, and we're here to give. 1152 00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:11,960 Speaker 2: You good advice. Goofily. We don't have all the answers 1153 00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:13,759 Speaker 2: really know what we'd do, so if you do something else, 1154 00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:15,640 Speaker 2: let us know in the comments. I was at work 1155 00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:18,359 Speaker 2: and my roommate works nights, so she was sleeping after 1156 00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:21,319 Speaker 2: a shift. My landlord, without giving us a legal twenty 1157 00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:24,080 Speaker 2: four hour notice, let three men into our home. Not 1158 00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:25,759 Speaker 2: even a week later. I was trying to get our 1159 00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:27,520 Speaker 2: internet set up when I noticed we didn't have a 1160 00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:30,120 Speaker 2: cable outlet. I called my landlord and asked where it 1161 00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,480 Speaker 2: would be. She said there isn't one, and I would 1162 00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:34,520 Speaker 2: have to have a technician come and put one in. 1163 00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:36,720 Speaker 2: I got a hold of a technician and set an appointment, 1164 00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:39,880 Speaker 2: then immediately called my landlord back and told her about 1165 00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:43,440 Speaker 2: the appointment. The day came and the technician was looking 1166 00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:45,680 Speaker 2: around trying to find where to put it. He realized 1167 00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:49,040 Speaker 2: there were two cable lines running from our power bank 1168 00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:53,000 Speaker 2: into our apartment that my landlord had cut and shoved 1169 00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:55,280 Speaker 2: into the basement. He said he needed to get into 1170 00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:58,000 Speaker 2: the basement to see the best place for this. I 1171 00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:00,400 Speaker 2: got a hold of my landlord and she was furious, 1172 00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:01,399 Speaker 2: Why didn't you. 1173 00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:03,239 Speaker 7: Give me a heads up that you were having a 1174 00:51:03,280 --> 00:51:07,520 Speaker 7: technician come out the basement doors through the other person's apartment, 1175 00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:10,239 Speaker 7: so you'll have to reschedule. The other tenants need a 1176 00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:12,840 Speaker 7: twenty four hour notice before anyone enters the apartment. 1177 00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:15,719 Speaker 2: I was pissed, but she said okay, goodbye and told 1178 00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:18,560 Speaker 2: the technician to come back another day. You didn't immediately 1179 00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:21,200 Speaker 2: go what about our apartment? 1180 00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:23,759 Speaker 5: Wait, they said you couldn't bring a technician in for 1181 00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:27,600 Speaker 5: your but they had random people come in without giving 1182 00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:30,359 Speaker 5: you any notif like notifications about that. 1183 00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:33,239 Speaker 2: Then lo and behold. She drives to our apartment and 1184 00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:35,640 Speaker 2: talks to the technician. He tells her the only way 1185 00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:37,920 Speaker 2: to do it is by drilling a hole outside. She 1186 00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:40,040 Speaker 2: was pissed about this as well, but I told her 1187 00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:43,120 Speaker 2: he's already here and I don't want to reschedule. He's 1188 00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:45,760 Speaker 2: not going to hurt your wall. Just let him drill. 1189 00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:48,439 Speaker 2: She finally did, muttering under her breath and drove off. 1190 00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:50,840 Speaker 2: Fast forward. We had an air conditioner unit in our 1191 00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:54,279 Speaker 2: kitchen before we moved in, so it wasn't ours as 1192 00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:56,600 Speaker 2: the weather cooled down. We needed that out because we 1193 00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:59,359 Speaker 2: have older wooden windows that let all the air in. 1194 00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:02,400 Speaker 2: My land said they would eventually take it out. After 1195 00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:04,600 Speaker 2: two weeks of calling and asking for a time and 1196 00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:07,040 Speaker 2: date of when they could come. She called the morning 1197 00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:08,719 Speaker 2: of and said her husband would be out in the 1198 00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:11,760 Speaker 2: next hour or so to take it out. As stated before, 1199 00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:14,800 Speaker 2: my roommate works nights, so in the morning she is sleeping. 1200 00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:17,840 Speaker 2: I work a nine to five Monday through Friday, so 1201 00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:20,520 Speaker 2: I wasn't home during the morning hours. I had to 1202 00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:22,440 Speaker 2: tell my boss that I needed to run home so 1203 00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:25,560 Speaker 2: my roommate isn't left by herself with a stranger while 1204 00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,840 Speaker 2: she's asleep. I sat and sat for an hour and 1205 00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:29,640 Speaker 2: a half and needed to get back to work. I 1206 00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:31,600 Speaker 2: called her and said I needed to leave soon and 1207 00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:33,480 Speaker 2: that he would have to come back when my roommate 1208 00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:36,480 Speaker 2: was awake. She said, it's okay, we can just let 1209 00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:40,560 Speaker 2: ourselves in. No, as I exit the house, he is 1210 00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:43,680 Speaker 2: standing there ready to take the air conditioner out again 1211 00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:46,840 Speaker 2: in violation of the twenty four hour notice. And since 1212 00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:50,239 Speaker 2: it's not an emergency, I believe I can legally tell 1213 00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:52,560 Speaker 2: her she can't enter the home. Yeah, which she was 1214 00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:53,640 Speaker 2: choosing to ignore. 1215 00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:55,920 Speaker 5: No, you can legally say, hey, you didn't give me 1216 00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,200 Speaker 5: enough notice the leave, do not come in my home. 1217 00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:01,880 Speaker 2: As the months move on, start to notice a pot smell. 1218 00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:04,480 Speaker 2: My roommate has a heart condition and cannot be around 1219 00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:07,839 Speaker 2: things like that. Certain smells trigger her. We immediately tell 1220 00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:10,759 Speaker 2: our landlord, and she doesn't believe us. She says, well, 1221 00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:13,240 Speaker 2: if you smell it again, I'll come over and smell 1222 00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:17,520 Speaker 2: it too, which is absurd. We have no reason to lie. 1223 00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:21,320 Speaker 2: I personally know our connecting neighbors. They are acquaintances of mine. 1224 00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:24,560 Speaker 2: I know for a fact that they do smoke. That 1225 00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:27,759 Speaker 2: we have not smelled the smelly smell since, which leads 1226 00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:30,000 Speaker 2: me to believe she gave them a heads up or warning. 1227 00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:32,520 Speaker 2: Some time goes on and the neighbors have three small 1228 00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,560 Speaker 2: children who bang on the walls day and night. No, 1229 00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:37,920 Speaker 2: that's actually just your neighbors. There are people living in 1230 00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:38,560 Speaker 2: your walls. 1231 00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,120 Speaker 5: Yeah, they live in your walls and they go bump up. 1232 00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:41,279 Speaker 4: Up up. 1233 00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:41,360 Speaker 6: No. 1234 00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:43,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, you have your neighbors, and then the other neighbors, 1235 00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:45,319 Speaker 2: who are the ones with the kids. 1236 00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:46,320 Speaker 5: They live in between. 1237 00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:50,440 Speaker 2: You've got people in your walls eating the asbestos and 1238 00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:54,040 Speaker 2: the fiberglass insulation. This couple argues loudly day and night. 1239 00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:56,279 Speaker 2: We tried to deal with it, but you can only 1240 00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,759 Speaker 2: tolerate so much. We let the landlord know about the 1241 00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:01,839 Speaker 2: banging and constant screen, and she did nothing about this 1242 00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:04,160 Speaker 2: and just laughed it off. A month ago, we noticed 1243 00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:07,239 Speaker 2: a leak in the kitchen sink despite us snaking the 1244 00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:10,880 Speaker 2: tub in the bathroom, it wasn't unclogging. We needed those 1245 00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,640 Speaker 2: two things looked at. The landlord's husband comes over to 1246 00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:15,239 Speaker 2: take a look and see if he could fix it 1247 00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:18,840 Speaker 2: before calling anyone. He fixes the sink immediately. Then we 1248 00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:21,359 Speaker 2: go to the bathroom. He bends down and starts looking 1249 00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:23,520 Speaker 2: at the drain. My roommate tells him she sent a 1250 00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:26,240 Speaker 2: video to the wife about the noise the drain was making. 1251 00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:29,680 Speaker 2: He says, oh, we can get video from you, which 1252 00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:32,120 Speaker 2: is wildly creepy and inappropriate. 1253 00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:34,160 Speaker 5: Oh no, saying oh we can get video from you, 1254 00:54:34,239 --> 00:54:36,879 Speaker 5: which sounds like they have no there's a question mark. 1255 00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:37,840 Speaker 5: Then I don't understand. 1256 00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:40,960 Speaker 2: I think he's saying like, oh, you send video, Like 1257 00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:44,400 Speaker 2: oh you send a video to me? You you sending 1258 00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:47,400 Speaker 2: videos over here? He says, Oh, we can get video 1259 00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:50,799 Speaker 2: from you. We both look at each other and get uncomfortable. 1260 00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,440 Speaker 2: He finishes and leaves, saying he'll make an appointment for 1261 00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:55,239 Speaker 2: a plumber. They tell us the date and time after 1262 00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:57,560 Speaker 2: we called for two weeks. The morning of I'm on 1263 00:54:57,600 --> 00:55:00,120 Speaker 2: my way home from my father's house. I thought the 1264 00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:02,440 Speaker 2: appointment was at nine thirty, not eight thirty. I get 1265 00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:05,120 Speaker 2: a call from my roommate, Hey, please be awake and ready. 1266 00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:08,080 Speaker 2: The plumber will be there soon. I panic. Literally five 1267 00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:10,799 Speaker 2: minutes from home at eight twenty eight, I speed up. 1268 00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:13,440 Speaker 2: I get home at eight thirty three and see the 1269 00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:15,560 Speaker 2: plumber leaving when I get a message from my roommate 1270 00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:18,160 Speaker 2: landlord's name. Let plumber in by the way, so just 1271 00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:20,560 Speaker 2: be ready. She didn't call me an ask, she just 1272 00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:23,360 Speaker 2: let him in. My blood is boiling because she didn't 1273 00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:25,520 Speaker 2: call me either. If she had, she would have known 1274 00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:28,000 Speaker 2: I was almost there. We have expressed to our landlord 1275 00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:30,640 Speaker 2: that we don't feel comfortable not being home while someone 1276 00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:34,040 Speaker 2: is there. It's literally just human decency. Again, my roommate 1277 00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:36,400 Speaker 2: is asleep during the morning hours, so what if she 1278 00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:38,680 Speaker 2: wakes up and finds a stranger in the house. What 1279 00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:41,279 Speaker 2: if I was home and not decent. I respond, I 1280 00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:43,880 Speaker 2: understand that, and we are happy they did as well. 1281 00:55:44,200 --> 00:55:47,239 Speaker 2: It's more of a safety concern and not personal. It's 1282 00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:49,560 Speaker 2: part of living on your own as women. A call 1283 00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:52,640 Speaker 2: would have been very much appreciated. The landlord responds, we 1284 00:55:52,719 --> 00:55:55,120 Speaker 2: gave you plenty of heads up. Our assistant called you 1285 00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:58,040 Speaker 2: last week. Have a good day. That's just rude. We 1286 00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:00,719 Speaker 2: have done nothing to her. We are quiet tenants. We 1287 00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:03,160 Speaker 2: don't bother anyone, and we treat the home with respect. 1288 00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:05,399 Speaker 2: We tell them immediately when something is wrong and try 1289 00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:08,759 Speaker 2: to get it fixed quickly before something bad happens. I 1290 00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:11,920 Speaker 2: would have started documenting all the times your landlord was 1291 00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:13,920 Speaker 2: violating your rights as a tenant. 1292 00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:18,200 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, like document keep receipts, all of that, because 1293 00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:20,560 Speaker 5: this is not legal. Keep their receipts. 1294 00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:22,640 Speaker 2: If ever, there's a problem that you might be able 1295 00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:24,400 Speaker 2: to fix on your own for a very small amount 1296 00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:25,919 Speaker 2: of money. I would do that just so I don't 1297 00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:27,920 Speaker 2: have to deal with these people. But it is concerning 1298 00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:30,440 Speaker 2: your safety safety first, you know. Yeah, we have a 1299 00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:33,440 Speaker 2: little bit more story. I know our connecting neighbors. I 1300 00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:35,840 Speaker 2: reached out to the wife and asked about her experience 1301 00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:38,280 Speaker 2: with our landlord in lack of twenty four hour notice. 1302 00:56:38,280 --> 00:56:40,879 Speaker 2: She told me absolutely not. They always get a notice, 1303 00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:43,080 Speaker 2: and then some she advised us to have a conversation 1304 00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:46,319 Speaker 2: with our landlord since this behavior is extremely concerning. I 1305 00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:49,160 Speaker 2: told her how we have and we still aren't treated 1306 00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:51,799 Speaker 2: with respect. She was shocked. So with all of this 1307 00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:54,719 Speaker 2: being said, is this in violation of our right to 1308 00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:57,919 Speaker 2: quiet enjoyment? What do we do to take further action? 1309 00:56:58,040 --> 00:56:59,920 Speaker 2: If it is? This is a year long lease we have, 1310 00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:01,799 Speaker 2: I haven't even been here for half a year, Like 1311 00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:04,319 Speaker 2: I said, June first was moving day and it's only 1312 00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:05,240 Speaker 2: November fourth. 1313 00:57:05,400 --> 00:57:08,160 Speaker 5: I mean I would get want the second release is over. Obviously, 1314 00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:10,120 Speaker 5: get out of this place, because this is a landlord 1315 00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:12,560 Speaker 5: that does not respect your rights as tenants. But also 1316 00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:15,200 Speaker 5: just yeah, I think same thing was what you were saying. 1317 00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:18,760 Speaker 5: Keep track of those violations, write them all down, you 1318 00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:20,440 Speaker 5: can get some sort of legal advice. 1319 00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:23,400 Speaker 2: I would almost I would want my own camera, just 1320 00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:25,480 Speaker 2: because yeah, there's something weird going. 1321 00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:27,400 Speaker 5: On here, Like it's very weird, very creepy. 1322 00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:30,200 Speaker 2: Your neighbors are like, no, we're fine, they're fine. There's 1323 00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:34,000 Speaker 2: something about you two living there, maybe as maybe it's 1324 00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:37,440 Speaker 2: because you're like not a family, yeah too, single women 1325 00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:41,840 Speaker 2: or something. Yeah, and for some reason this landlord couple 1326 00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:44,040 Speaker 2: or like just freakazoids about that. 1327 00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:46,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, I would pretty uncomfortable about that. And you want 1328 00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:47,680 Speaker 5: to be you want to feel safe. 1329 00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:49,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd have my own camera in my house to 1330 00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:51,480 Speaker 2: make sure there's no tom foolery going on on the 1331 00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:52,000 Speaker 2: one's there. 1332 00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:54,560 Speaker 5: Agreed, I'm keeping an eye on those people in my walls. 1333 00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:57,360 Speaker 2: Comm my number one. Not overreacting, but honestly, you are 1334 00:57:57,480 --> 00:58:00,080 Speaker 2: not dealing with this in a very mature way. You 1335 00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:02,600 Speaker 2: need to actually deal with these problems rather than just 1336 00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:05,560 Speaker 2: complaining that things aren't fair. I know that's easier said 1337 00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:07,880 Speaker 2: than done, but I have done my share of basement 1338 00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:10,479 Speaker 2: suite slash apartment living. First of all, you are all 1339 00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:13,720 Speaker 2: over the place with your accusations. Separate the intrusions from 1340 00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:16,920 Speaker 2: the noise and the devil's lettuce complaints, et cetera. Otherwise 1341 00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:19,160 Speaker 2: you just sound like you hate them and are ranting 1342 00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:22,040 Speaker 2: about anything and everything. Second, stand up for yourself. Send 1343 00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:24,920 Speaker 2: a paper trail of emails that log your complaints. Take 1344 00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:27,240 Speaker 2: as much video and pictures as you can, log the 1345 00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:30,360 Speaker 2: times that they enter with pictures, et cetera, and compare 1346 00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:32,480 Speaker 2: it to the correspondence you received. Once you have a 1347 00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:35,200 Speaker 2: pattern of evidence that your rights are being violated, take 1348 00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:37,520 Speaker 2: the evidence to your landlord, along with a copy of 1349 00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:40,120 Speaker 2: the law they are violating. If they continue to do so, 1350 00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:43,600 Speaker 2: contact the tendency branch in your province or state. I 1351 00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:47,920 Speaker 2: once had to do this over refusal to return damaged deposits, 1352 00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:51,919 Speaker 2: and they contacted the landlord, who immediately folded Ope. He says, 1353 00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:54,040 Speaker 2: maybe we aren't being the most mature, but our landlord 1354 00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:56,360 Speaker 2: is backing us into a wall. I'm not sure what 1355 00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:58,840 Speaker 2: else we could be doing besides what we have. We 1356 00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:01,560 Speaker 2: try to be and keep a smile on our face 1357 00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:03,880 Speaker 2: around them, but in private we speak about it. The 1358 00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:06,480 Speaker 2: apartments we live in are smoke free and also pet free, 1359 00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:09,280 Speaker 2: so that's why we instantly told our landlord. Because the 1360 00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:12,000 Speaker 2: smoke free mixed with her heart condition, which our landlord 1361 00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:14,160 Speaker 2: is aware of, felt like the best course of action. 1362 00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:17,440 Speaker 2: I also didn't add that we smelled the smell consistently 1363 00:59:17,520 --> 00:59:19,720 Speaker 2: over the course of two weeks before saying anything. We 1364 00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:22,520 Speaker 2: absolutely have a paper trail, not even just for this 1365 00:59:22,560 --> 00:59:25,480 Speaker 2: specific reason, but because I like keeping everything I do 1366 00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:28,240 Speaker 2: and say with a lot of things I work for 1367 00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:30,720 Speaker 2: an insurance company, so I'm taught to always have proof 1368 00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:33,280 Speaker 2: of everything. Glad you got your deposit back, and thanks 1369 00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:35,760 Speaker 2: for your input. It's very useful for us. We're just 1370 00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:38,760 Speaker 2: two young women trying to navigate a whole new world 1371 00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:41,400 Speaker 2: of apartment living. And that is the end of that story. 1372 00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:43,320 Speaker 2: And I do have a feeling it's because you are 1373 00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:45,640 Speaker 2: too young, Yes, single woman women trying to. 1374 00:59:45,640 --> 00:59:48,680 Speaker 5: Take advantage or being creepy. And I think that commentary 1375 00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:50,760 Speaker 5: was like, you're not being immature when you're two young 1376 00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:53,440 Speaker 5: women who probably this is like the first time or 1377 00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:55,680 Speaker 5: maybe first couple of times that you've been in an apartment. 1378 00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:57,680 Speaker 5: You haven't dealt with a lot of this stuff. 1379 00:59:57,760 --> 01:00:00,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, when you're two young women, you're not very much. 1380 01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:01,920 Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story.