WEBVTT - Ep. 157: THIS COUNTRY LIFE - Hogs, Cows, and Elephants

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to This Country Life. I'm your host, Brent Rieves.

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<v Speaker 1>From coon hunting to trot lining and just general country living.

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<v Speaker 1>I want you to stay a while as I share

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<v Speaker 1>my stories and the country skills that will help you

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<v Speaker 1>beat the system. This Country Life is proudly presented as

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<v Speaker 1>part of Meat Eaters Podcast Network, bringing you the best

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<v Speaker 1>outdoor podcast the airways have to offer. All right, friends,

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<v Speaker 1>pull you up a chair or drop that tailgate. I

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<v Speaker 1>think I got a thing or two and teach you hogs,

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<v Speaker 1>cows and elephants. Hogs, cows and elephants. Now, what in

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<v Speaker 1>the world could all of that have in common with me?

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<v Speaker 1>Outside of describing how I eat, what I eat and

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<v Speaker 1>how big I'll be if I don't cut back on

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<v Speaker 1>the other two. But that's not what we're talking about.

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<v Speaker 1>We're talking about chores and the jobs I had as

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<v Speaker 1>a kid. And trust me, all that's going to make

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<v Speaker 1>sense by the end of this episode. It's a pretty

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<v Speaker 1>eclectic list looking back at it now, and I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>tell you all about it. But first I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>tell you a story. Now, obviously, I grew up in

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<v Speaker 1>the country, and it's that foundation on which this entire

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<v Speaker 1>struggle is based, and there were jobs I had that

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<v Speaker 1>my friends that lived in town didn't. The jobs and

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<v Speaker 1>chores weren't foreign to them. They were raised in the

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<v Speaker 1>same culture I was, and many of their parents had

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<v Speaker 1>grown up on a farm and dealt with the same

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<v Speaker 1>responsibilities that I had. They just didn't have to do them.

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<v Speaker 1>As a result, I got to learn to drive early.

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<v Speaker 1>The first thing I ever drove was my dad's company truck.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a standard shift forward pickup. It was sky blue,

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<v Speaker 1>and I would eventually have one of my own a

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<v Speaker 1>few years down the road. I talked to about it

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<v Speaker 1>in episode one old nine of This Country Life Country Vehicles. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>I knew how to drive, and it came in handy

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<v Speaker 1>on the farm when you had to move something from

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<v Speaker 1>one spot to another and my dad needed another hand

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<v Speaker 1>to help. When tractor driving time came, I was already

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<v Speaker 1>checked out on a much more complicated piece of machinery

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<v Speaker 1>the tractor. That just became second nature. The only differences

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<v Speaker 1>were what implements I was using now. Sometimes we would

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<v Speaker 1>take off for the River of the Lake, both of

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<v Speaker 1>which were accessible by County and Timber Company gravel roads.

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<v Speaker 1>I only had to drive a short distance on Arkansas

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<v Speaker 1>State Highway one eighty nine. But guess what it was

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<v Speaker 1>gravel too. The whole world was gravel as far as

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<v Speaker 1>I knew. The two main state highways that ran through

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<v Speaker 1>where we lived were paved, but the log trucks had

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<v Speaker 1>done such a number on them that there weren't much

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<v Speaker 1>smoother than a gravel road. But my dad taught me

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<v Speaker 1>how to pull the trader to back one up. By

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<v Speaker 1>the time I was nine, I could do it as

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<v Speaker 1>good as anybody. My only issue was seeing over the

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<v Speaker 1>hood of the truck. I drove him around all night

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<v Speaker 1>when we were running his hands chasing coats, and sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>we needed to go to a location to quick, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>to cut the dogs off or catching before they crossed

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<v Speaker 1>the road, so I had to drive faster. Driving on

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<v Speaker 1>a gravel can be tricky. Your brakes at speed are

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<v Speaker 1>oftentimes not your best friend, especially on loose gravel. I

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<v Speaker 1>take in the truck here and there around the farm

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<v Speaker 1>and down the road to a neighbor's place to get

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<v Speaker 1>something for Dad. And sometimes if the situation allowed that

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<v Speaker 1>I was alone, I might cut a few diados in

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<v Speaker 1>the road or in a field. If given the opportunity,

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<v Speaker 1>slinging gravel and cutting the doughnut were rare opportunities to

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<v Speaker 1>showcase my driving skills. And even though I was never

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<v Speaker 1>in a place where my friends could see me demonstrate

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<v Speaker 1>my prowess as a stunt driver, they had been briefed

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<v Speaker 1>on it by me on numerous occasions. I don't think

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<v Speaker 1>they believe me, because they said, we don't believe it.

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<v Speaker 1>So one day, as I stepped off the school bus

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<v Speaker 1>and walked a short distance down the gravel drive to

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<v Speaker 1>the house, I had the best idea ever. No one

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<v Speaker 1>was at home, and there set the farm truck keys

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<v Speaker 1>in the ignition. You know how long it takes a

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<v Speaker 1>ten year old to make a bad decision, Well I

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<v Speaker 1>could make six and the time it took me to

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<v Speaker 1>ask that without even trying. I'd show those clowns on

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<v Speaker 1>the school bus that I could drive a truck. And

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<v Speaker 1>I would do that by passing the bus less than

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<v Speaker 1>a half a mile from where I had just stepped

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<v Speaker 1>off of it. I jumped in the seat, fired that

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<v Speaker 1>rascal up and away I went, torching the gravel in

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<v Speaker 1>the driveway as I did a half doughnut to get

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<v Speaker 1>out to the wet clay gravel road and catch the Now,

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<v Speaker 1>there's four bad decisions right there, and you don't have

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<v Speaker 1>to pause to count them. I'll count them for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Number one decided to pass the school bus. Number two

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<v Speaker 1>took the truck without permission. Number three did a half

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<v Speaker 1>donut in the driveway. Number four did not account for

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<v Speaker 1>the muddy clay gravel road I had just entered with

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<v Speaker 1>reckless abandon. The road made a ninety degree turn at

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<v Speaker 1>the corner of our yard, and as the bus made

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<v Speaker 1>that curve, I was standing on the foot feed for

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<v Speaker 1>all it would do. I had a rooster tail of

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<v Speaker 1>sloppy orange clay and rocks flying up behind me, and

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<v Speaker 1>when I hit the curve, I realized I was going

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<v Speaker 1>too fast. When I turned the wheel and the truck

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<v Speaker 1>kept moving forward toward the fence, I took my foot

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<v Speaker 1>off the gas and I'm smashed the brakes. That didn't

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<v Speaker 1>work either. The only thing left was to mash the

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<v Speaker 1>gas again, and to my surprise, the tail end of

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<v Speaker 1>that truck slung around and I turned into that curve

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<v Speaker 1>and straight away like I knew what I was doing,

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<v Speaker 1>Sitting on the front edge of the truck seat, staring

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<v Speaker 1>at the back end of that school bus one hundred

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<v Speaker 1>and fifty yards in front of me. I knew right

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<v Speaker 1>then I was going to be a legend tomorrow at school.

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<v Speaker 1>All the boys and witness that were going to be

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<v Speaker 1>telling everyone how I passed the school bus like Richard Petty.

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<v Speaker 1>The bus would be turning in less than one hundred yards.

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<v Speaker 1>So if I was going to pass them and fulfill

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<v Speaker 1>my destiny as an elementary school like on, I had

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<v Speaker 1>to make up some ground pretty quickly. I pushed the

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<v Speaker 1>pedal to the floor, and almost immediately the tail end

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<v Speaker 1>of that truck started to slide around. I fixed this

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<v Speaker 1>issue just a few seconds ago by turning into the

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<v Speaker 1>slide and applying more gas. So I did it again.

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<v Speaker 1>Now you can violate the laws of man and get

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<v Speaker 1>away with it without a scratch, but you will never

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<v Speaker 1>buy all ate the laws of physics without consequences and repercussions.

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<v Speaker 1>That one lane gravel road that I lived on had

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<v Speaker 1>one dry spot on it under an overhanging oak tree

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<v Speaker 1>that stood beside a small creek, and a one lane

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<v Speaker 1>bridge that was right in front of now. While I

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<v Speaker 1>was fish tailing down the road, I had already calculated

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<v Speaker 1>the rate of back and forth and if I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>change anything, I would zip right across that bridge. When

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<v Speaker 1>my truck straightened out, ride behind the bus, and I'd

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<v Speaker 1>blow the yellow off of it when I went by.

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<v Speaker 1>I still firmly believe I would have made it had

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<v Speaker 1>it not been for that one dry spot. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know how fast I was going. Seemed like ninety It

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<v Speaker 1>was probably more like thirty five. I had been busy

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<v Speaker 1>the last little bit and didn't have time to really

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<v Speaker 1>notice my speed until that back tire grabbed the dry

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<v Speaker 1>spot right at the edge of the wooden bridge and

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<v Speaker 1>shot me off the side of it and entered that

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<v Speaker 1>shallow creek on the passenger side of the truck. I

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<v Speaker 1>watched as the bust. I watched as the bus turned

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<v Speaker 1>on the next road where I had planned to overtake them,

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<v Speaker 1>and it disappeared from view. I wonder why they didn't stop.

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<v Speaker 1>I wasn't saying five yards behind the one I went

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<v Speaker 1>off that bridge, And then I realized how filthy and

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<v Speaker 1>muddy the bus windows were from driving down the road.

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<v Speaker 1>They couldn't have seen me. If I hadn't wrecked, I

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<v Speaker 1>could have passed them on winged Pegasus and they wouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>have noticed. Me. I looked across the pasture and I

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<v Speaker 1>saw them one more time as I crawled out of

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<v Speaker 1>the driver's side door window, watching the front tire spinning

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<v Speaker 1>like a top. Then they were gone, and I was

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<v Speaker 1>all along with our truck on its side in the ditch. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>this is not good, but the story it'd better be.

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<v Speaker 1>My mind raced as to what the official version would be.

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<v Speaker 1>As I ran back toward the house, I heard a

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<v Speaker 1>hogs squell. We had hogs and a pen across the

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<v Speaker 1>road from where we lived, and they were notorious forgetting.

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<v Speaker 1>Now that's it. The hogs got out and I had

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<v Speaker 1>to go catch them. So I fired up the truck

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<v Speaker 1>and I took off after him, and I ran off

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<v Speaker 1>the bridge. I called my mama at the bank where

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<v Speaker 1>she worked in town and told her what happened. My

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<v Speaker 1>version of it anyway, Oh my goodness, my baby, are

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<v Speaker 1>you okay? Yes, ma'am. I went ahead and put the

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<v Speaker 1>hogs up before I called you. That was a rooking mistake.

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<v Speaker 1>I should have went and turned them all out, because

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<v Speaker 1>my brother Tim would later comment in front of my mama,

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<v Speaker 1>you was chasing the hogs down the road. Yep, the

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<v Speaker 1>hogs went down the road. Yes, the hogs went down

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<v Speaker 1>this road right here where we're standing. Yes, Tim, well

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<v Speaker 1>where's their tracks. My mama slowly turned her head to

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<v Speaker 1>look at me, and one of her eyebrows raised up

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<v Speaker 1>so high it disappeared into her auburn hair. I knew

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<v Speaker 1>then that she was going to kill me. And it

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<v Speaker 1>was all because my brother was playing Sherlock Holmes instead

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<v Speaker 1>of minding his own business. We called the record and

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<v Speaker 1>he got the truck out. A broken right mirror and

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<v Speaker 1>a dent and the door was the only things wrong

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<v Speaker 1>with the truck. They made them different back then. I

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<v Speaker 1>got a whooping and grounded, but I still had to

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<v Speaker 1>do my chores, which took me outside, and I could

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<v Speaker 1>easily hide a fishing pole in the barn and slip

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<v Speaker 1>down to the pond and fish when I wanted to.

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<v Speaker 1>And I had a great story to tell my boys

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<v Speaker 1>on the bus the next day. I told them. I

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<v Speaker 1>told them how I nearly caught the bus but instead

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<v Speaker 1>had drove the truck off the bridge like Steve McQueen.

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<v Speaker 1>It was cool and they should have seen them. They

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<v Speaker 1>didn't believe it, And that's just how that happened. On

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<v Speaker 1>the farm. There was always work to be done, and

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<v Speaker 1>some kind of mowing was a big part of it,

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<v Speaker 1>and we had three acres of yard to mow and

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<v Speaker 1>a riding more that worked some of the time. If

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<v Speaker 1>it was down, it was push mowing time, and that

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't fun. Besides my duties at home that paid me

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<v Speaker 1>in room and board, I also got other jobs. Growing up.

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<v Speaker 1>I worked at the local sail barn, pushing cows, hogs,

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<v Speaker 1>and goats whatever came through the cell. The sail was

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<v Speaker 1>every Saturday, and there was a crew of us that

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<v Speaker 1>was expected to be there by seven am to start

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<v Speaker 1>checking in. Cattle. Ranchers would roll in with those goose

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<v Speaker 1>necked trailers and we'd unload them, tagging with numbers and

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<v Speaker 1>places that distinguished them from just loan cow. Those are

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<v Speaker 1>cows and calves that would be sold as pairs. We

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<v Speaker 1>also got bulls, and occasionally they'd get pretty rank and

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<v Speaker 1>try to smash you into oblivion. There were seven or

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<v Speaker 1>eight of us, all kids. Most weren't old enough to

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<v Speaker 1>drive when we started working there. We made five dollars

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<v Speaker 1>an hour, and three or four of us would spend

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<v Speaker 1>the night there after unloading and loading livestock. From seven

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<v Speaker 1>in the morning to way past supper time, which day

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<v Speaker 1>the night to load the semi trucks with cattle that

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<v Speaker 1>were headed out of state. After everyone was gone, someone

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<v Speaker 1>would bring something to eat and we'd entertain ourselves playing wrestling,

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<v Speaker 1>which usually ended up being a boxing match, and anything

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<v Speaker 1>else we could think up to occupy our time waiting

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<v Speaker 1>on the eighteen wheelers to get there, and it never failed.

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<v Speaker 1>We were tired and had been working twelve hours or so,

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<v Speaker 1>and we'd all get to the office, sit down and wait,

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<v Speaker 1>and eventually we'd all fall asleep. Then after midnight, some

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<v Speaker 1>truck driver would slip in and wake the guy that

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<v Speaker 1>was closest to the door up with a cattle prode.

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<v Speaker 1>If you've never been woken up with electricity coursing through

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<v Speaker 1>your breeches, let me tell you your situational awareness goes

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<v Speaker 1>immediately from zero to ten. We had some wild cows

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<v Speaker 1>that would try to hurt you, and some big bulls

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<v Speaker 1>that came through that they wouldn't release to come off

0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:26.400
<v Speaker 1>the scales down to where we were pinning them until

0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:30.440
<v Speaker 1>everyone was watching and had an escape route planned. It

0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:33.480
<v Speaker 1>was an orchestration of calamity and other than getting kicked

0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:36.040
<v Speaker 1>or run up a fence. Cattle weren't really a problem.

0:13:36.800 --> 0:13:40.719
<v Speaker 1>It was the hogs. Folks would trap or catch you

0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:43.480
<v Speaker 1>wild hogs with dogs and bring them to the sale,

0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:48.800
<v Speaker 1>and Buddy, let me tell you, they were wild. Folks

0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.720
<v Speaker 1>would think that the bigger the wild hog is, the

0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:54.680
<v Speaker 1>more dangerous he is, But that ain't That's not necessarily

0:13:54.720 --> 0:13:57.400
<v Speaker 1>the way it works. They all have the ability to

0:13:57.480 --> 0:13:59.599
<v Speaker 1>hurt you. But the big ones I never had a

0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:02.640
<v Speaker 1>problem with. They'd bow up and come at you, and

0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:05.240
<v Speaker 1>I could dodge them pretty easily, or jump up on

0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:07.720
<v Speaker 1>a fence until we could get them where we wanted

0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:11.400
<v Speaker 1>them to go, sometimes by using ourselves as bait like

0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:14.000
<v Speaker 1>a bullfighter to get them going in the right direction.

0:14:14.960 --> 0:14:18.000
<v Speaker 1>But it was the small hogs, the forty egg of

0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:20.720
<v Speaker 1>sixty pounders that were so quick that they'd have you

0:14:20.800 --> 0:14:24.360
<v Speaker 1>cut before you knew what happened. I watched a childhood

0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:26.280
<v Speaker 1>friend of mine get cut by want at the sail

0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:29.520
<v Speaker 1>bar one Saturday. There was one fella in particular that

0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:32.760
<v Speaker 1>always bought the wild hogs for his packing store, and

0:14:32.840 --> 0:14:35.080
<v Speaker 1>he didn't list one of us for a little extra

0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:37.600
<v Speaker 1>cash to help him cut their tusk off before he

0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:40.840
<v Speaker 1>left with them. Now it wasn't for the week of heart,

0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:43.600
<v Speaker 1>and mister Bobby would have been the last guy I

0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:45.840
<v Speaker 1>would have went to for a two day because his

0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:50.360
<v Speaker 1>methods were straight out of medieval times. Catch the hog

0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:53.040
<v Speaker 1>with a loop on his top jaw, pull him up

0:14:53.080 --> 0:14:56.320
<v Speaker 1>next to the fence. That was our job, and then

0:14:56.360 --> 0:14:59.000
<v Speaker 1>mister Bobby would take a pair of channel locked plyers

0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:03.360
<v Speaker 1>and break the huss off with one smooth move. The

0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:07.120
<v Speaker 1>hogs did not like this, not even not even a

0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:11.600
<v Speaker 1>little bit. Now we all knew that one wrong move

0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:13.440
<v Speaker 1>and they could hurt you, and they could hurt you bad.

0:15:14.040 --> 0:15:16.760
<v Speaker 1>So there was lots of squealing and squalling and grunting

0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:19.240
<v Speaker 1>when the tusk full and time came at the end

0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:22.680
<v Speaker 1>of the cell. And that was just from us because

0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:26.560
<v Speaker 1>someone had to go help mister Bobby, and on this

0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:30.160
<v Speaker 1>day it was my buddy Jeff. I went with him

0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:32.520
<v Speaker 1>and mister Bobby to locate his hogs in the small

0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:35.960
<v Speaker 1>pens and help if I could if they needed it. Really,

0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:40.000
<v Speaker 1>I was wanting the extra tip from mister Bobby because

0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:42.600
<v Speaker 1>he was known to give those to all the boys

0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:46.040
<v Speaker 1>that helped him. Anyway, I crawled up on the fence

0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:49.360
<v Speaker 1>opened the gate for Jeff and mister Bobby, and they

0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:53.040
<v Speaker 1>walked in. Now that wild hog wasn't much bigger than

0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:56.240
<v Speaker 1>the show. He was about as medium size as a

0:15:56.400 --> 0:15:59.800
<v Speaker 1>black labrador. And he backed himself into a corner of

0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:02.320
<v Speaker 1>that pen that had been there ever since we'd pinned

0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:05.680
<v Speaker 1>him following the cell. He looked like he was hypnotized.

0:16:06.560 --> 0:16:09.840
<v Speaker 1>His hams were pushed up against that hogwire so tight

0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:13.160
<v Speaker 1>that is behind looked like bubble wrap. And there he

0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:19.040
<v Speaker 1>stood motionless all afternoon. So when tooth pulling time came around,

0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:22.440
<v Speaker 1>we figured this joker was going to be easy. Come

0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:25.280
<v Speaker 1>to find out that hog had been saving his strength

0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:29.320
<v Speaker 1>and planting his escape the whole time. His plan was simple.

0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:33.440
<v Speaker 1>At the first opportunity, he was going to cut everyone

0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:36.240
<v Speaker 1>between him and freedom with those two inch tusks of

0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:38.520
<v Speaker 1>his that you could barely even see sticking out of

0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:42.440
<v Speaker 1>his lower jaw. I had just gotten the gate closed

0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:45.040
<v Speaker 1>when I saw that hog launch himself out of that

0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:49.520
<v Speaker 1>corner that he'd been in all day. He ran by

0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:52.600
<v Speaker 1>Jeff and had bud at the gate trying to get out. Now,

0:16:52.640 --> 0:16:56.000
<v Speaker 1>I laughed, Mister Bobby climbed the fence and laughed, and

0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:59.600
<v Speaker 1>Jeff hopped up on the fence too, But Jeff wasn't laughing.

0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:04.040
<v Speaker 1>He was looking down at his thigh that was exposed

0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:07.000
<v Speaker 1>through a ten inch cut in his Levi eyes. It

0:17:07.040 --> 0:17:09.840
<v Speaker 1>looked like someone had cut it open with a razor.

0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:14.560
<v Speaker 1>Mister Bobby says, son, did he get you, Jeff? So?

0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:18.399
<v Speaker 1>I don't think so. And then I saw blood pouring

0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:21.639
<v Speaker 1>out of the bottom of Jeff's breeches. He moved that

0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:24.000
<v Speaker 1>open cut of his jeans over a little and we

0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:28.119
<v Speaker 1>could see the long gash in Jeff's thigh that hog

0:17:28.200 --> 0:17:31.040
<v Speaker 1>had cut him with me watching it, and neither me

0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:36.960
<v Speaker 1>or Jeff thought he was hurt very quick. I don't

0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:39.679
<v Speaker 1>remember how many stitches Jeff got, but it was a

0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:43.520
<v Speaker 1>passle of them. A week or so later, mister Bobby

0:17:43.600 --> 0:17:45.880
<v Speaker 1>rolled into the sail barn with an ice chest full

0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:50.080
<v Speaker 1>of sausage, pork chops, and bacon, and he gave it

0:17:50.119 --> 0:18:00.520
<v Speaker 1>all to Jeff. I've established beyond measures that I grew

0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:03.879
<v Speaker 1>up in rural South Arkansas, so how in the world

0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:08.439
<v Speaker 1>could I ever have a job associated with elephants. It

0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:12.639
<v Speaker 1>was my mama. She no longer worked at the bank

0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:15.480
<v Speaker 1>and was now working for the Chamber of Commerce in

0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:20.480
<v Speaker 1>Warren Anything and everything that happened from the annual Pink

0:18:20.520 --> 0:18:23.000
<v Speaker 1>Tomato Festival, which is in June of every year and

0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:26.280
<v Speaker 1>has been since Jesus was in junior high to the

0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:30.439
<v Speaker 1>county fair was run in some form through her office,

0:18:30.560 --> 0:18:35.640
<v Speaker 1>committee meetings, organizational meetings, whatever she was in the note.

0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:38.399
<v Speaker 1>So when the circus came to town, they gave my

0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:41.240
<v Speaker 1>mama a handful of tickets, two of which she gave

0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:45.280
<v Speaker 1>to me. I was a junior in high school, and

0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:48.240
<v Speaker 1>I tricked the gal from those gilded halls of education

0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:52.280
<v Speaker 1>into going with me to the circus. Now this circus

0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:56.960
<v Speaker 1>wasn't Barnum and Bailey, not by a long shot. But

0:18:57.040 --> 0:19:02.520
<v Speaker 1>they had clowns, jugglers, acrobats, lines, and elephants. But that's

0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:08.000
<v Speaker 1>about where the similarities ended. They were there for about

0:19:08.040 --> 0:19:12.320
<v Speaker 1>three days. They'd bought some hay from local farmers to

0:19:12.359 --> 0:19:14.240
<v Speaker 1>put on the floor of the lion cages and to

0:19:14.280 --> 0:19:18.880
<v Speaker 1>feed the elephants, and then they left town. They sattled

0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:21.200
<v Speaker 1>up and hit the road for the next little country

0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:24.919
<v Speaker 1>town that wanted to see a circus, or a reasonable

0:19:24.960 --> 0:19:28.720
<v Speaker 1>facsimile one. And at the fair grounds where all this

0:19:28.800 --> 0:19:31.760
<v Speaker 1>had taken place, it was like they had never been there,

0:19:31.840 --> 0:19:36.199
<v Speaker 1>not a trace of them was found. No trash, no

0:19:36.359 --> 0:19:39.800
<v Speaker 1>empty popcorn bags littered the ground, not even any popcorn.

0:19:40.880 --> 0:19:47.560
<v Speaker 1>They were gone except for the elephants. Now, don't misunderstand me.

0:19:47.800 --> 0:19:51.359
<v Speaker 1>They didn't leave the elephants, but they did leave what

0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:55.760
<v Speaker 1>the elephants left. There had been three days of good

0:19:55.840 --> 0:19:58.800
<v Speaker 1>Arkansas hay fed to those pacaderms, and they had taken

0:19:58.840 --> 0:20:03.720
<v Speaker 1>full advantage of it. Apparently, where they had those rascals

0:20:03.720 --> 0:20:07.760
<v Speaker 1>tied out, there was a mound of elephant let me

0:20:07.800 --> 0:20:16.240
<v Speaker 1>see droppings. Nope, that don't sound right. Elephant scat, Nope, boulders, Yep,

0:20:16.359 --> 0:20:21.920
<v Speaker 1>that's it, elephant boulders. It's actually called dung. But there's

0:20:21.960 --> 0:20:24.760
<v Speaker 1>a bug called a dung beetle that rolls around droppings

0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:27.240
<v Speaker 1>of some such. But I can promise you that bug

0:20:27.280 --> 0:20:29.600
<v Speaker 1>ain't rolling one of these around, not even in a wagon.

0:20:30.880 --> 0:20:33.919
<v Speaker 1>They were there for three days, and elephants on average,

0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:38.480
<v Speaker 1>on average dropped two hundred and twenty pounds a day

0:20:38.640 --> 0:20:43.919
<v Speaker 1>of pooped groceries. That's six hundred and sixty pounds in

0:20:43.920 --> 0:20:47.280
<v Speaker 1>that little circus that couldn't afford a real big top.

0:20:47.800 --> 0:20:50.560
<v Speaker 1>The one that the ring master suit looked like it

0:20:50.600 --> 0:20:52.760
<v Speaker 1>had been his big brothers and his mama had made

0:20:52.800 --> 0:20:57.040
<v Speaker 1>him wear it. That backyard after thought of a circus,

0:20:57.080 --> 0:21:01.840
<v Speaker 1>had four elephants. That's a ton and a quarter of

0:21:01.880 --> 0:21:05.159
<v Speaker 1>everything the chicken laid, but the egg that had to

0:21:05.200 --> 0:21:08.199
<v Speaker 1>be hauled off. When the fairgrounds director walked into my

0:21:08.280 --> 0:21:12.080
<v Speaker 1>mama's office asking who he could pay to clean it up,

0:21:13.160 --> 0:21:16.960
<v Speaker 1>well guess who got the nod. He let me borrow

0:21:16.960 --> 0:21:20.240
<v Speaker 1>a trailer a scoop, and I went to work shoveling

0:21:20.480 --> 0:21:23.600
<v Speaker 1>and shoveling the remnants of what had been a beautiful

0:21:23.600 --> 0:21:28.439
<v Speaker 1>and serene Arkansas hay meta that had literally been turned

0:21:28.440 --> 0:21:33.920
<v Speaker 1>into a bunch of well you know. As I shoveled

0:21:33.960 --> 0:21:36.520
<v Speaker 1>my way through the mounds of bowlers, I began to

0:21:36.960 --> 0:21:41.440
<v Speaker 1>marvel at the size and consistency, and I had another thought.

0:21:42.160 --> 0:21:44.920
<v Speaker 1>I should show these to my brother Tim. He'll think

0:21:44.960 --> 0:21:51.040
<v Speaker 1>this is cool. Better yet, I should surprise him with one.

0:21:51.240 --> 0:21:54.120
<v Speaker 1>So as I shoveled and shoveled, I grated as I went,

0:21:54.160 --> 0:21:57.640
<v Speaker 1>and I separated the good ones from those that lacked uniformity,

0:21:57.680 --> 0:22:02.280
<v Speaker 1>and eventually I found the perfect specimen of a specimen.

0:22:03.920 --> 0:22:07.000
<v Speaker 1>So I did what any normal little brother would do.

0:22:07.600 --> 0:22:10.959
<v Speaker 1>I took it to my grandma's house they lived in town,

0:22:11.160 --> 0:22:14.840
<v Speaker 1>and I said, Mama, sly, this is elephant poop. I

0:22:14.840 --> 0:22:16.520
<v Speaker 1>need a box to put it in, and I want

0:22:16.560 --> 0:22:19.040
<v Speaker 1>you to wrap it up like a present. I'm gonna

0:22:19.040 --> 0:22:21.320
<v Speaker 1>take it to tams work and leave it for him.

0:22:22.840 --> 0:22:26.520
<v Speaker 1>She stared at me, unmoved and said, I think I

0:22:26.560 --> 0:22:29.439
<v Speaker 1>got a cake box that'll fit in. What kind of

0:22:29.440 --> 0:22:33.359
<v Speaker 1>wrapping paper should be used? Oh? Man, I missed my

0:22:33.440 --> 0:22:38.000
<v Speaker 1>mama's sly. She wrapped that soccer ball size example of

0:22:38.080 --> 0:22:42.600
<v Speaker 1>elephant processed Arkansas hay into something to behold, and I

0:22:42.680 --> 0:22:45.320
<v Speaker 1>dropped it off at Tims work before he got there

0:22:45.400 --> 0:22:48.920
<v Speaker 1>so he'd be alone when he opened it. He said,

0:22:48.920 --> 0:22:51.960
<v Speaker 1>he immediately knew what it was and obviously who it

0:22:52.080 --> 0:22:54.359
<v Speaker 1>was from when he cut the wrapping paper away and

0:22:54.440 --> 0:22:59.000
<v Speaker 1>pulled off the lid. Well, that's what he gets. That's

0:22:59.040 --> 0:23:01.520
<v Speaker 1>what he gets for asking about those hall tracks today.

0:23:01.560 --> 0:23:04.680
<v Speaker 1>I was going to pass the school bus. Mind your

0:23:04.680 --> 0:23:09.080
<v Speaker 1>own business, Timmy, and lead the stunt driving to us professionals.

0:23:17.359 --> 0:23:21.400
<v Speaker 1>All right, that's a mark for me. Thank you for listening.

0:23:21.880 --> 0:23:24.840
<v Speaker 1>Be good to one another and help folks when you can.

0:23:25.840 --> 0:23:29.800
<v Speaker 1>This is Brent Reeves. Sign it off, y'all, be careful,