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Speaker 1: I stole fifteen hundred dollars from a girl with aspergers,

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Speaker 1: but she deserved it. Am I the a hole?

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Speaker 2: You know what, Sam, I am going to take my

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Speaker 2: flag and plant it and say, uh, you sound like

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Speaker 2: the a hole.

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Speaker 1: Hey, maybe he's taking it to invest in her future.

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Speaker 2: Wow, there we go.

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Speaker 1: You know, a young hedge fund math man. He's a

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Speaker 1: young hedge fund manager.

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Speaker 2: A young Warren Buffett into making. He's just looking.

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Speaker 1: At the Warren buffet of Aspergers. Still a.

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Speaker 2: Way to go.

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Speaker 1: Every summer, my community has a cookoff competition. Usually about

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Speaker 1: twenty to thirty individuals or couples try to cook X

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Speaker 1: y Z and then they can win a portion of

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Speaker 1: the entry ticket fees while the rest go into community parks.

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Speaker 1: It's not summer yet, but they decided to do it

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Speaker 1: a little early this year. It was pasta sauce delicious.

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Speaker 1: Well the moon it's your eye like a busta in

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Speaker 1: the sky. That's a more ooh you know Italian Italian

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Speaker 1: basta tally.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I've been going to these four years ever since my wife.

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Speaker 1: My wife and I moved here, but this is the

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Speaker 1: first time I entered as a competitor. Yeah, this pasta

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Speaker 1: sauce competition is gonna get insertd Yeah, my pasta sauce

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Speaker 1: is gonna demolish your pasta sauce.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to cut your wrist and then it you

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Speaker 1: bleeded in a pasta sauce, and then my pasta sauce

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Speaker 1: will smell and taste like blood, and then the whole

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Speaker 1: pasta community will taste and get the taste for human flesh.

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Speaker 2: I'm a marinera monster.

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Speaker 1: Heard her monster, that's a great pasta sauce. Name one

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Speaker 1: of the other competitors. I know her somewhat only in

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Speaker 1: passing as a fifteen or sixteen year old with Asperger

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Speaker 1: syndrome and autism. I don't know much about this condition.

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Speaker 1: Evidently I'll call her Jessica. I guess a lot of

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Speaker 1: people got wind of her being a part of the

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Speaker 1: competition that we had news crews here taping her to

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Speaker 1: put her on the news.

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Speaker 2: She's gonna be famous, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Also there must have also the not be like a

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Speaker 1: ton going on if like someone with autism entering apasta

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Speaker 1: competition is Who's where they.

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Speaker 2: Local local pasta sauce kitchen takes the city by storm.

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Speaker 2: Wear hair with Jennifer the sweetheart of the city, Jennifer.

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Speaker 2: How's that marinera hanging girl.

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Speaker 1: It's made with the blood of It's made with the

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Speaker 1: blood of one good destined eat it thing. Hey, that's

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Speaker 1: a winning recipe.

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Speaker 2: That is a winning recipe.

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Speaker 1: We've never had this before as far as I know.

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Speaker 1: To make the story short, I won the competition and

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Speaker 1: fifteen hundred dollars.

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Speaker 2: Big bucket Rooney's.

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Speaker 1: There's no second or third place prize. It's winner takes.

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Speaker 1: Oh hey, it's it's not his fault that he just

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Speaker 1: made the most delicious sauce on earth.

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Speaker 2: If you ain't first, every place is last place.

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Speaker 1: My wife and I were in shock because I like

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Speaker 1: to think of myself as a decent home cook and

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Speaker 1: take pride in my pasta sauce specifically, But to win

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Speaker 1: a contest, I was tickled pink. We celebrated for about

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Speaker 1: twenty minutes when the event organizers came to us. There

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Speaker 1: was another girl in the competition that had a mental disability.

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Speaker 1: You might be able to guess where this was going,

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Speaker 1: but they asked us if we'd give our prize to

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Speaker 1: Jessica as a gesture of goodwill. They said they get

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Speaker 1: some good publicity. Since news reporters are here, we obviously

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Speaker 1: said no. Fifteen hundred dollars is a lot of money.

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Speaker 1: So they asked us if they so they asked of

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Speaker 1: and so they asked us if we'd like to split

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Speaker 1: it fifty to fifty with Jessica, And likewise we said no.

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Speaker 1: Jessica's not good at any first thoughts, Jessica, your sauce sucks.

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Speaker 1: I don't care how much autism you have, You're not winning.

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Speaker 1: I guess some nearby patrons overheard the conversation in chimed in.

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Speaker 1: Apparently we're assholes and jerks for not sharing the prize

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Speaker 1: at least, well, your pasta sauce didn't win, so no.

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Speaker 2: Neuro divergent noodles over here.

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Speaker 1: After a few moments, there might have been ten other

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Speaker 1: people clamoring to us and how we're a disgrace to

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Speaker 1: the community. Okay, if you wanted to give it to

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Speaker 1: the autistic person, just say the most autistic person wins

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Speaker 1: the fifteen hundred dollars.

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Speaker 2: Just let like, if you wanted to win, then why not,

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Speaker 2: there's like let her win.

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Speaker 1: I don't give me fifteen hundred dollars. Yeah, extra on top.

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Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, come on, stingy bastards.

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Speaker 1: We had to leave and haven't collected our winnings yet.

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Speaker 1: We're meant to go tomorrow from the Mayor's office, but

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Speaker 1: I can't even imagine what's going to happen tomorrow. Are

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Speaker 1: we the assholes but not splitting our winnings of the

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Speaker 1: disabled child for a kick in competition? Oh? Man? Oh

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, let us know what you

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Speaker 1: think in the commons, like would you give your winnings

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Speaker 1: to the autistic girl? Would you not please put your

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Speaker 1: answers in the comments? I'm kind of like unsure. This

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Speaker 1: one's a bit of a the life, But John, what

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Speaker 1: do you think? So?

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Speaker 2: My initial thought right is like they wanted to give

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Speaker 2: it to her, why not just make her win? Because

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Speaker 2: I love that idea, by the way, like like and

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Speaker 2: she's the winner and it's like great and it's cute

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Speaker 2: and it's just.

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Speaker 1: Wonderful that they should have you know what they should

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Speaker 1: have done. They should have like had everyone in on

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Speaker 1: it before they announced the winnings.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like like why you can't like announce it and

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Speaker 2: be like, oh, just kidding, we're just gonna.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna it's like that.

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Speaker 2: Why did you make me the winner in the first place? So, like,

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Speaker 2: is he the a hole for not splitting it? So, A,

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Speaker 2: it's one of those things you just won't look good.

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Speaker 2: You won't even if you're not at faults.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like you're digging money from the autistic girl.

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Speaker 1: It's not the best look. It's not a great look,

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Speaker 1: like even though you might be entitled to the money

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Speaker 1: because your pasta sauce is daked.

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Speaker 2: Fuck honestly, Like, I I almost feel like I would

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Speaker 2: do it just out of like I don't want to

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Speaker 2: be the a hole, like even like though on rent,

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Speaker 2: I might have to be a big old a hole,

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Speaker 2: but if I'm not, Yeah, I don't know, Like this

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Speaker 2: is this really is a tricky.

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Speaker 1: One because like it is a lot of money. It's

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Speaker 1: not like life changing money. But if OP is in

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Speaker 1: like a tricky financial spot, like I understand and be

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Speaker 1: like yo, I cook the best psticide.

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Speaker 2: Or like hey, like hey I'm good financially, but hey,

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Speaker 2: this is a vacation for me. Yeah, part like whatever

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Speaker 2: it might be. So I don't know, how about you,

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Speaker 2: what would you do that.

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Speaker 1: I like, in the position I am now, I probably

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Speaker 1: would give it to the autistic girl because again, like

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Speaker 1: reputation wise, you'd be totally screwed. Yeah, and yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: like the nice thing to do, and it's it's nice,

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Speaker 1: you know, it'll probably make her happy. Like like I'm

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Speaker 1: more okay with with giving it away, but it's kind

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Speaker 1: of like shitty on the organizer's part. Yeah, Like if

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Speaker 1: this is your plan, don't announce op is the winner.

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Speaker 1: Just say like like why not just announce the autistic

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Speaker 1: girl is the winner?

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Speaker 2: Literally?

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Speaker 1: Then it's like the whole thing is great, and it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: unless it was like a blind test and so it's like, hey,

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Speaker 1: number thirteen that most people voted for that, oh maybe,

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Speaker 1: which could be it could be it, but like come on, guys,

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Speaker 1: can't You can't come and ask for it back. I think, OPI,

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Speaker 1: you're not in the wrong for taking it, But what

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Speaker 1: is more important your reputation or the money? Is your

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Speaker 1: reputation worth fifteen hundred dollars it is, dude, head it up?

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Speaker 1: But what would you do? Uh? Put your answers in

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Speaker 1: the comments.

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Speaker 2: Let us know and we'll see you next time. Am

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Speaker 2: I the a.

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Speaker 1: Hole for making sexy poses? While the neighbor was recording me,

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Speaker 1: for no reason.

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Speaker 2: Maybe they just trying to see someone of the sweet

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Speaker 2: sweet ache. Hmmmm.

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Speaker 1: You know, forget only fans, only, hoses only, only, neighbor only.

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Speaker 2: Gardens, only gardens. Yeah, I'm trying to see you, snipped

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Speaker 2: out bush.

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Speaker 1: My dad passed away recently, off to a great start,

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Speaker 1: and left me, twenty six male, and my sister thirty

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Speaker 1: one female. His house. It's super unkempt, so I've been

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Speaker 1: doing lots of yard work outside in the morning. I'm

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Speaker 1: out there wading the grass in the mornings and the evenings.

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Speaker 1: And every single time I've done this, the neighbor right

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Speaker 1: next door, who's like this older granny, comes out to

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Speaker 1: her porch and straight up watches me without even hiding

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Speaker 1: me what she doing. Granny bruh, She's like, she's like

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Speaker 1: watching watching you get all like, you know, hot and

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Speaker 1: hot and sweaty, like those glistening sweat drops on your abs.

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Speaker 2: I got a pool, you can clean shit. It was

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Speaker 2: so good, no clorum needed.

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Speaker 1: I introduced myself to her once now that me and

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Speaker 1: my sister are the new owners after my dad passed,

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Speaker 1: but it was obvious she didn't want to talk. All

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Speaker 1: she wanted to do was wowch sh Next thing I know,

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Speaker 1: she started coming outside with her phone, pointing to the

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Speaker 1: camera right at me, and I'm like, is there a problem?

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Speaker 1: She says, there's no problem as long as I'm doing

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Speaker 1: what I'm supposed.

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Speaker 2: To, like work in that grass. I asked her, why

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Speaker 2: is she recording me?

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Speaker 1: Then neighbor lady goes, what's the problem with me recording

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Speaker 1: if you're not doing anything wrong? It's so effing weird

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Speaker 1: And I don't even know how to respond to the situation.

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Speaker 1: As soon as I finished up to go back inside,

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Speaker 1: she went back in her house too. And this happens

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Speaker 1: every single day that I'm outside watering the grass, always

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Speaker 1: the same excuse that she's wanting to make sure that

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Speaker 1: I'm not doing anything else, or if I do, it's

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Speaker 1: on camera. So yesterday I got fed up and decided

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Speaker 1: to do something different. When she came out with her phone,

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Speaker 1: I stuck my ass out and put my hand on

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Speaker 1: my hip, looking right at her, like like doing those

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Speaker 1: sixy poses. At first, she was like, what the f

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Speaker 1: but then she got really mad when I started wetting

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Speaker 1: myself with the hose and touching my neck while literally

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Speaker 1: looking directly at her. Was it stupid, yes, but she

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Speaker 1: put her phone away and started cussing me out for

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Speaker 1: being a pervert. My sister told me later on she

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Speaker 1: came to the house when I was working, talking about

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Speaker 1: me sexually harassing her, making poses in provocative ways. My

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Speaker 1: sister knows she's a pain in the ass and she

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Speaker 1: probably nothing better to do with her time. But I

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Speaker 1: still went to the stupid level by making her uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: Right back, I feel like I didn't make a huge

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Speaker 1: mistake and it wasn't even that bad, not like I

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Speaker 1: was grabbing my balls or anything. But also I can

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Speaker 1: be a dumbass sometimes, so I don't know. You guys

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Speaker 1: tell me, was I an a whole you?

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Speaker 2: You just went too far? Like that's what I would

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Speaker 2: have done, is gotten like all my friends together and

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Speaker 2: been like, let's pretend like we're recording a documentary of her.

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Speaker 2: So every time she steps outside, we all just go

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Speaker 2: and there's like a boom, mic and like a camera

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Speaker 2: and then she's like, what's going on. It's like, nothing's wrong,

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Speaker 2: and if you're not doing anything wrong, we're just recording you. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: this is my documentary, right, like my documentary, and you

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Speaker 2: literally have a whole crew of people.

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Speaker 1: I love the commitment I see. You know what I

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Speaker 1: would have done. I was just rubbed my nipples looking

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Speaker 1: at her. That's what I would be like. Woos them

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Speaker 1: were