WEBVTT - Unapologetically Black & Blogging 0:00:02.520 --> 0:00:06.840 I woke up Invaigon and then's just chasing dreams in 0:00:07.000 --> 0:00:10.760 my statement got me feel like I'm made it, and 0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:16.239 I wake up and see frustration raising for Raymon. Thankfully 0:00:16.480 --> 0:00:20.919 they know me can get enough of a paper get on. 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:27.480 My fun by someone much that if you put it 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:33.120 ame ma, I'm on one. And if you get a time, 0:00:33.640 --> 0:00:38.680 I'm mont forgot when I'm a pleasing behavior and. 0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:40.080 We're all friend. 0:00:42.040 --> 0:00:45.600 Hey, guys, welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:49.440 Erica and this is Nila and we are joined today 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:53.200 by a very special guest, Nisia Boswell. 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:55.880 She is actually why don't we Why don't you tell 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:56.520 us who you are? 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:01.920 Okay? Hi? Everyone, name for bab Blow and I am 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:04.240 the creator of Black Mom's Blood. When we talk parents 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:06.960 and culture and lifestyle, call a black point of you. 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:11.920 Yes, and we we at Good Moms. We are huge 0:01:11.959 --> 0:01:15.480 fans of Shanisia. If you haven't followed her, make sure 0:01:15.520 --> 0:01:20.160 to follow her at Good Mom's Black Good Moms at 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:24.440 Black Mom's Blood. And we just wanted to We wanted 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:28.400 to have you on because we've been watching your your 0:01:28.440 --> 0:01:32.040 social media and you you just it's you have a 0:01:32.080 --> 0:01:34.520 platform where like I think a lot of women. I 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:36.480 think that's why you have so many followers. They just 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:39.480 gravitate towards your page because there's so much there's so 0:01:39.560 --> 0:01:42.040 much representation of things that we don't get to see 0:01:42.080 --> 0:01:44.720 all the time in the media, like just black love, 0:01:45.080 --> 0:01:48.080 black black breastfeeding. You know it is Black Breastfeeding Week 0:01:48.120 --> 0:01:54.320 this week, and just positive black images of mothers, whether 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:59.600 they're single or in relationships. There's there's not necessarily one platform, 0:01:59.640 --> 0:02:01.400 per se. I think there are now they're popping up 0:02:01.440 --> 0:02:03.840 more and more where where women of color can really 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:06.800 go and feel represented. 0:02:07.880 --> 0:02:09.040 So so thank you for that. 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:12.200 Thank you, And that's really where it came from. When 0:02:12.240 --> 0:02:15.720 I when I entered into this blogging world. Back then, 0:02:15.760 --> 0:02:19.000 there weren't a lot of us doing this, and so 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:23.359 I kind of consider myself on a catalyst that made 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:26.200 it more normal, and so I just wanted to see 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:28.160 that in the block Inspritch. I want to see more 0:02:28.200 --> 0:02:29.800 Black women that felt comfortable talking. 0:02:29.639 --> 0:02:32.320 About parenthood exactly. 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:35.560 So can you just tell us a little like where 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:38.040 are you from? I know you live in Atlanta right now. 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:41.320 Are you from Atlanta or how did you get there? 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:43.480 Are you? Like? What's your story? 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:44.359 What's your story, girl? 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:49.240 What's my story? My story is I've lived in Atlanta 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:51.880 now for almost ten years, eleven years somewhere in the area. 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:54.000 I will up here to go to Georgia State University. 0:02:54.080 --> 0:02:57.240 I'm from Mona Robbins, very small town down south, and 0:02:57.680 --> 0:02:59.480 like I always say, you know went, I came up 0:02:59.520 --> 0:03:01.560 to the school and I looked around and felt like 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:04.079 all of my peers just kind of like they knew 0:03:04.120 --> 0:03:05.919 what they were going to do, and I had no idea, 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:08.600 and so I kind of felt like stumbling weed was 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:11.920 trying to figure out my way. I became a mom 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:14.120 pretty early on. Amongst all of my friends, I was 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:16.280 pretty much the first one I have a baby, and 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:19.120 I just felt so isolated in that apparently at that 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:24.040 time because our generation, we're just not really having kids anymore. 0:03:24.480 --> 0:03:26.160 And then so when I became a mother and I 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:28.639 started to get comfortable in that role, I realized that 0:03:29.080 --> 0:03:32.359 I didn't really also didn't fit that normal you know 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:37.400 mom that just oh, I come home and I family, family, family, 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:39.400 and my baby. I was like, I'm young, I'm a millennial. 0:03:39.440 --> 0:03:41.360 I feel like I have a good time. How do 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:43.680 I find a way to reach out for more moms 0:03:43.680 --> 0:03:47.200 to fall into the category that I'm in. So that's 0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:50.360 a little bit of the background of Live Black Mom's 0:03:50.400 --> 0:03:52.880 blog is what it is. It's not. I just wanted 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:55.080 to make a comfortable space for the moms who don't 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:55.600 fit that norm. 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:58.800 Did you when you started it, did you want Did 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:01.080 you always imagine it being as big as it is 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:03.920 or was it just kind of like an a little 0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:06.640 passion project or just your outlet. 0:04:08.160 --> 0:04:11.600 I feel like it's so funny because I really don't know. 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:15.600 I don't I don't want to limit myself and say, oh, 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:19.640 I never saw it getting big. I'm a strong believer 0:04:19.760 --> 0:04:22.160 and in my own safface, so I was like, Okay, 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:24.480 if I do this, it's probably gonna be okay. But 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:26.560 I didn't really pursue it for that reason, I guess 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:29.279 the small way to put it. I didn't pursue it 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:31.000 from the beginning, like, oh, I'm doing this so that 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:33.719 it turns into the huge platform. And I feel that 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:36.360 because it did come from a place of passion, people 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:39.600 really connected with the genuineness behind it, and that's why 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:40.600 Dick gets so big. 0:04:42.080 --> 0:04:43.720 How old were you when you had your you have 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:44.520 a daughter or son? 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:47.080 I have a daughter, she's five years old. 0:04:47.839 --> 0:04:49.400 How old were you when you had her? 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:53.320 I got pregnant twenty two. I had her when I 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:54.160 was twenty third set. 0:04:54.760 --> 0:04:56.880 And then when did you start Black Mom's blog? 0:04:58.240 --> 0:05:01.520 I so most it was actually in my second business. 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:05.440 So when she was one, I started a skincare line 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:07.599 and I ran that for about two and a half years. 0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:09.760 I started Black Month's blog when she was three. 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:13.240 Cool are you single? 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:18.000 Are you married? Dating? I am so single? Girl me, 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:21.280 I've been in a relationship for two years. 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.360 How do you What is dating like for you? Because 0:05:25.480 --> 0:05:28.159 I'm I'm sort of new to dating. 0:05:28.200 --> 0:05:32.960 I mean, I'm a year in and it's been interesting. 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:35.720 It's fun at first. Then it's like. 0:05:37.800 --> 0:05:41.120 Dating is definitely interesting when you're a mother because the 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:45.200 one that times some strain is different, you know, And 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:48.120 when you're single and you don't have kids, you can 0:05:48.160 --> 0:05:49.840 just kind of get up and go and give a 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:52.919 lot more flexibility to it. And it just depends on 0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:55.760 what type of dating you're doing, because as a parent, 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:58.080 sometimes seem like to be dating have a good time 0:05:58.160 --> 0:06:00.479 and that's perfectly okay, and sometimes you're dating for something 0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:03.760 more serious. And so I found out like when I 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:05.599 was kind of in my good time. Maybe when I 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:08.560 wasn't really looking for anything serious, it was cool, you know, 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:10.680 I just like I have London Street, what you guys 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:13.640 going on? But that was the only day. And so 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:16.280 when I started to get in a mindset of saying 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:18.120 things are a little bit more serious, my daughter came 0:06:18.160 --> 0:06:20.680 to fight. So that was something I was there in front. Hey, 0:06:20.720 --> 0:06:22.719 you know my mom, right, do you have a problem 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:25.800 with that or kids? So to me to change the 0:06:26.080 --> 0:06:29.560 dynamics of the men that I chose to surround myself with, 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:32.760 because now that I'm in that elemental space and saying 0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:35.799 I'm looking for something more serious, I'm way more selective 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:38.200 about luck bringing my energy for sure. 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:41.400 What's what's the dating scene like in Atlanta? 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:50.280 What is it like us? Maybe not if I'd discouraging Atlanta. 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:57.320 Dating in Atlanta is interesting because the men here, there's 0:06:57.360 --> 0:07:01.840 so many people, there's so many tea and we're kind 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:03.680 of like in this space where every man wants to 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:06.000 be Polly and they just believe they should have all 0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:09.840 their cake needed to. Really, yes, I don't. 0:07:10.080 --> 0:07:11.400 I don't even know if I've ever heard of black 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:12.520 men say Polly. 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:17.440 Girl. Atlanta is the hotel capital and it has went 0:07:17.520 --> 0:07:19.960 past the whole tep men and his women to the 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:22.320 regular corporate man. It's one into the credative men. Nobody 0:07:22.320 --> 0:07:24.760 wants to get married. Everybody's trying to figure out their life, 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:27.560 and so dating here is really hard because it's such 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:33.320 an entrepreneurial, creative city. You're not getting there. There aren't 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:36.400 a lot of traditional men here, and there's so many 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:40.240 women right right, And there's so many beautiful women. Atlanta. 0:07:40.280 --> 0:07:44.120 It's full of beautiful women, successful Black women. So it's 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:46.000 not one of those places where it's like, oh, you're 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:47.600 the queen of the crop and everybody's trying to get 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:49.600 with you. It's pretty much the opposite. Then here have 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:53.760 their share picks and yeah, it's not the easiest to 0:07:53.840 --> 0:07:54.400 be cadated. 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:59.680 Yeah, that's so interesting because that's like the word pollie. 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:02.520 I feel like it's such a foreign idea to so many, 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:04.640 at least I thought so. 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:07.600 Many Black maybe men, maybe not women, but to men. 0:08:07.640 --> 0:08:09.640 I feel like, well, I just remember when she said 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:10.640 the whole hotel thing. 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:12.800 That is true there there is like there is like 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:14.880 a I used to live in the West End and 0:08:14.960 --> 0:08:20.720 there is like a very villagey black hippie like community 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:24.640 in Atlanta, Like it's beautiful, but yeah, I could see that, 0:08:24.720 --> 0:08:27.239 like be my my my second wife's sister. 0:08:29.880 --> 0:08:32.920 I can't even pay my rent? Right, Like, uh noa 0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:34.079 not happening. 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:39.319 I'm down for being a survived got three to the 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:42.960 guys who it's literally every man wants three girlfriends or 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:43.640 three wives? 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:46.080 Like how play? You don't even want situation out of control? 0:08:46.480 --> 0:08:50.800 Right, they've they've missed construed the like the basics, the 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:53.240 fundamentals of the Polly relationship. 0:08:54.320 --> 0:08:56.440 Right, you got to take care of all of them 0:08:56.880 --> 0:08:57.640 in the village? 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:01.640 Would you be would you if you found like a man, 0:09:01.800 --> 0:09:04.559 like an eligible man that was like had his ship 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:09.480 together and could like financially and emotionally support multiple vibes? 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:10.000 How would you? 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:11.760 Would you be down for it all? 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:16.000 I'll answer that question by saying that I haven't found 0:09:16.200 --> 0:09:17.000 a man who's. 0:09:19.640 --> 0:09:24.440 Right, you showed me him, and I'll give you an answer, right, right, 0:09:24.559 --> 0:09:25.120 that's the truth. 0:09:26.679 --> 0:09:30.520 And like, do you co parent with your daughter's dad? 0:09:31.760 --> 0:09:34.760 Yeah? Actually I co parent with my daughter's father. We 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:36.680 live in the same apartment building. 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:39.920 Oh cool, Yeah we have Yeah. 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:41.520 We have a really good parenting relationship. 0:09:42.200 --> 0:09:43.400 He I mean you're not. 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:45.640 It's not weird, Like, isn't too close. He knows how 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:47.520 he knows what you're doing all the time. 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:49.760 Like or is it like a huge apartment building. He's 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:51.520 on the other side of it. 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:53.440 It's a high rise. He lives in a pretty big building. 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:56.280 So I'm on the fourth floor. He's on the eleventh floor. Okay, 0:09:57.320 --> 0:10:00.720 And yeah, everybody, whenever I talked about that, you know, 0:10:00.760 --> 0:10:02.439 I have the blogs, but I try to keep a 0:10:02.480 --> 0:10:04.400 lot of my personal things out of it. I'm getting 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:05.840 to the place now where I can feel a little 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:08.679 bit more comfortable and talking about it. But yeah, everybody 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:10.800 gives the same reaction. They're like what, and of course 0:10:10.800 --> 0:10:12.720 they want to know there's still somethings going you know, 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:15.880 right right right, Yeah, it's the thing. It's cool. 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:18.920 I mean, it's convenient, Like I wanted the store. Okay, 0:10:18.920 --> 0:10:21.920 I'll bear it back. Yeah, come on, that. 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:25.280 Was funny because that that's the ideal standpoint, and it's 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:28.280 getting better in that sense. But it wasn't always that way. 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:30.080 So so it's taking time to get to get to 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:30.600 this place. 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:35.839 Yeah, did you guys move in there on like intentionally 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:38.360 because it's got a lot to be getting easier, or. 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:44.000 So it has been. We've listed in this building, and 0:10:44.000 --> 0:10:47.240 when we were together and when we broke up, I 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:50.000 ended up leaving. People say here, but it's been a 0:10:50.080 --> 0:10:53.200 very convenient part of Atlanta's living to town and it's 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:55.559 you know, good area. I don't drive either. I have 0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:57.520 lived in Atlanta for ten years and I don't drive. 0:10:57.880 --> 0:10:59.680 And so when I got ready to find a place 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:01.400 to move back to, I was like going back to 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:03.480 my old building. I did not care to use here. 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:06.400 Did not start off like this intentional, like let's be 0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:09.240 great co parents to stay in the same faith, but 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:11.240 I did consider that. I was like, well, this gonna 0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:13.319 makes me a little bit more convenient and easier when 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:15.480 it comes to parenting our daughter. 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:19.840 Have you ever like seen him in the lobby bringing 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:23.880 up a girl girl? 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:28.360 Oh? Yeah? When so when it's been two years since 0:11:28.360 --> 0:11:31.640 we've been broken up. He has been in another relationship 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:33.680 at this point for about a year and a half. 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:36.320 And you said it's been two years since you guys 0:11:36.320 --> 0:11:39.800 broke up. Yeah, we've been broken up for two years, Okay, 0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:42.679 and he has a new girlfriend. She's been around for 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:45.080 about a year and a half. We actually just hung 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:47.520 out about a month ter three weeks ago, it took 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:49.760 her her She came with me and my daughter to 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:52.520 the park. So it's saying that that has not always 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:58.800 been easy to the building. There were definitely some stressful 0:11:59.040 --> 0:12:01.520 times going on. I was him with other women and 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:04.040 he was still you know, it was just interesting. So 0:12:04.559 --> 0:12:07.760 once we kind of established that being really over and 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:10.760 this was it, it became easier, you know what I mean, 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:13.520 and handling some things. But yeah, I've bran into him 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:19.760 with women and I you know, yeah. 0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:21.560 Damn you do you think that do you think that 0:12:21.640 --> 0:12:24.160 like that reality has made it easier for you to 0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:28.160 like move on because we always well I always talk 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:30.920 about like even if you know something's over, once you 0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:35.080 have a child with somebody likes as women, there's like 0:12:35.120 --> 0:12:38.199 we're in we're like in bread to have. 0:12:38.080 --> 0:12:39.760 This like responsibly. 0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:41.880 Yeah, like we're supposed to get married and have this 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:44.560 white picket fence like lifestyle. So like, even when you 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:47.000 know you don't like this guy, you're like, no, it 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:47.520 may work. 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:49.199 So what will you hold on to this? 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:51.920 You hold this like this idea, tiny little. 0:12:51.720 --> 0:12:53.160 Part of this idea. 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:58.800 Yeah, yeah, I definitely agree to be there. My relationship 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:01.520 with my ex was not the greatest. It looked really 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:03.320 pretty on pape for everybody was like, oh yeah, I'll 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:05.920 go hold the technal idea. And I don't say that 0:13:05.960 --> 0:13:07.800 as a way of bashing him. We were just young 0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:10.640 and we didn't communicate well, and we were we really 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:12.640 were trying to do the right thing and raising our daughter. 0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:15.600 But it's kind of like, just like you said, you 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:17.280 can know you don't want to be with somebody, and 0:13:17.360 --> 0:13:19.880 because they are the father of your child, so like 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:22.800 you have the duty to make it work. And for me. 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:27.520 What ended up really just divering the course. I got 0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:29.120 to this point with it where it was. 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:32.719 Like I want to have a peaceful light, and I 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:35.840 found myself, you know, just very stressed out over things 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:38.160 that were going on between us. And so one day 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:39.720 I was just like, this is it. All we're going 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:42.319 to focus on is co parenting. We have to get 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:44.480 along for our daughter. And that was way more important 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:47.920 to me than trying to figure out our situation, because 0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:52.240 it was clear that there was no situation, and being 0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:56.600 in the same space and having interacts with him and 0:13:56.679 --> 0:13:59.160 things that occurred during that time really spurn up it 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:02.000 for me. So once I let that go, it wasn't 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:05.120 for him, and it looks for myself. I felt myself 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:12.840 feeling angry and I'm allowed to make this perfect. Don't 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:15.600 care like, let me I can get peace of mind. 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:17.679 And at that point I was able to see him 0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:19.040 away with him and whoever. 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:26.120 Was right, and you know, yeah, that's I guess it's 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:28.600 like everybody's I mean everybody. 0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:31.880 So sometimes people hold onto ship, but I think like 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:34.160 the New Error Woman is more. 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:38.240 Like in tune with the fact that you know it 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:41.440 doesn't really matter. Your happiness comes first. So that's right, 0:14:41.680 --> 0:14:43.800 that's most important because you can't be happy and raise 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:45.880 a you can't be unhappy and bitter and raise a 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:48.040 happy child because that child is going to sense that 0:14:48.120 --> 0:14:50.960 you know they are and to forgive. 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:53.560 It's never about the other person, It's about you, right 0:14:53.960 --> 0:15:03.440 if I don't forgive you and I nay, well, right, 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:08.400 person started to look at your baby, daddy, and you 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:10.720 know your kids call do you want to call that person? 0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:14.320 And who they are and taking their their reactions so 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:17.040 personally and it's like this is the person. It helps 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:18.200 you here looking a little bit better. 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:21.880 Well, yeah, yeah, I think that's something we've definitely talked about, 0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:27.440 for sure, like not taking things personally and just understanding 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:29.560 that a lot of the reasons that maybe it didn't 0:15:29.560 --> 0:15:32.160 work out between you two, or me and my baby 0:15:32.240 --> 0:15:35.840 daddy or Mila and hers, it really has nothing. I mean, 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:38.000 of course we all play our part, but at the 0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:39.200 end of the day, you don't have. 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:39.880 Nothing to do with you. 0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:42.440 Yeah, a lot of a lot of the mistakes that 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:44.240 were made maybe on that you feel like he or 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:46.120 she did, you know, it has a lot to do 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:48.280 with them and not try not to but try not 0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:50.680 to take things personally is so hard. 0:15:53.840 --> 0:15:56.160 And people like, oh my god, you got you're so 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.480 greating up. I was like, what it looks like. 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:01.640 Now right because it took time to get. 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:04.560 Yeah, we still have our moments, so I'm it's like 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:07.120 I can't say it, you know, every day it's a 0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:08.440 possis Yeah. 0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:11.880 That and it's a paired with expectation, which I feel like, 0:16:12.000 --> 0:16:13.960 you know, when you have a kid, your expectations just 0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:19.120 automatically change and you feel like, you know, you want 0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:21.560 to protect your child from anything anything you feel like 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:24.360 it's not right, or you don't want them to experience, 0:16:24.480 --> 0:16:26.480 or you don't want them to see, or you feel 0:16:26.520 --> 0:16:28.720 like your partner isn't doing you know, it's just like 0:16:29.680 --> 0:16:33.080 ooh girl, I'm I'm working through both those things right 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:35.480 now and I can't wait to be on the other 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:35.960 side of it. 0:16:36.240 --> 0:16:36.920 I can't wait. 0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:39.600 It's a beautiful place to be. Let me tell you 0:16:40.800 --> 0:16:41.280 at peace. 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:46.800 Yeah yeah, So did you when you had your daughter? 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:49.560 Did you have a natural birth? 0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:49.800 Home? 0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:50.160 Birth? 0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:52.680 Hospital? What was your what was your birthing experience? 0:16:53.680 --> 0:16:56.640 I had a natural birth in a hospital. It was 0:16:56.640 --> 0:16:59.840 supposed to be a water birth. I've never crossed the park, 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:04.000 so I sure without me every dural medication, and that 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:06.840 was like the real goal. It was something I wanted 0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:08.600 to accomplish. I didn't get called up on it. I 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:10.600 was like, hey, what happens. Happened, But that's what I 0:17:10.720 --> 0:17:12.720 was aiming for and I was able to accomplish that. 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:16.200 That's awesome. How many hours of labor are you in? 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:20.880 My labor was like still technicook and perfect, like I would. 0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:23.199 I had a pool twenty four hour labor. I went 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:26.960 into labor at I probably wit what's my mother's house 0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:28.760 to live about two and a half hours pounce of here, 0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:30.320 and I was. 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:31.359 Like, I'm tired of getting pregnant. 0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:33.639 I was thirty eight weeks fun and we went to 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:36.399 the fair and I walked for about two and a 0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:39.280 half hours. I went into labor the next day around 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:42.280 ten o'clock at night, and I had her. She's sixteen 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:42.960 the next morning. 0:17:43.240 --> 0:17:47.280 Oho, that's pretty perfect. M h, what's your when's what's 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:47.720 your sign? 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:51.960 Just because I because, ah, yeah, we got this a 0:17:52.040 --> 0:17:54.000 cancer and a scorpio here, so we got all the 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:55.920 water signs in his hour A. 0:17:57.040 --> 0:18:05.240 Yeah we like you. What's your sign? Yeah? 0:18:05.280 --> 0:18:08.800 I have like the multiple best friends scorpios anti sis. 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:13.320 What was gonna ask you? 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:15.399 Do you want more kids? 0:18:16.720 --> 0:18:18.600 Yeah? I definitely want more children. 0:18:20.320 --> 0:18:24.720 How many like one to ten I would like to have. 0:18:25.359 --> 0:18:27.480 Realistically, I mean, if if I can handle it, we 0:18:27.560 --> 0:18:30.679 have exalting but children. 0:18:30.840 --> 0:18:35.840 I mean you are posting the cutest babies all day. 0:18:36.000 --> 0:18:40.080 I wrong, like your ovaries must be like exploding. 0:18:41.359 --> 0:18:43.320 Pain though, because I have baby fever. But I'm not 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:49.280 going to have another baby, right? This is it? Yeah? 0:18:52.359 --> 0:18:55.560 I was gonna ask you, Okay, so how do you 0:18:55.720 --> 0:19:00.720 balance being like a full time mom and business woman? 0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:03.560 You have help? 0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:07.200 Like is your daughter she's obviously has in school, so 0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:08.560 got home school? 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:11.640 Now, Cameron was so I would stay at home mom 0:19:11.960 --> 0:19:13.959 for a couple of years. She didn't start really going 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:15.760 to school because she was about three four years old. 0:19:17.040 --> 0:19:20.920 I don't have any family in Atlanta. My house father, 0:19:21.280 --> 0:19:23.040 he doesn't really have family in Atlanta like that. That 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:26.520 helps out, and so I was able the only one. 0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:28.480 I'm able to move the way that I'm moving because 0:19:28.520 --> 0:19:32.000 I have this course around me that is phenomenal, you know. 0:19:32.320 --> 0:19:35.000 And I always tell moms that when you become a mother, 0:19:35.119 --> 0:19:37.439 you have to change up your circle because if you're 0:19:37.520 --> 0:19:40.400 only just being around your single friends with that party mindset, 0:19:40.560 --> 0:19:43.439 then you're gonna struggle, right. So I wanted to develop 0:19:43.520 --> 0:19:45.440 these circles of women and even fill some of my 0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:49.000 best friends who don't have that circle as well. But 0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:51.480 when I have a vis and things like Cameron, you know, 0:19:51.760 --> 0:19:53.560 my friends come out. She got just what they were 0:19:53.600 --> 0:19:58.199 one her aunties. With her starting school, that's definitely been 0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:00.080 a blessing because I have my day time for me 0:20:00.200 --> 0:20:02.200 to do think I need to do. And her father 0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:04.760