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Speaker 1: I woke up Invaigon and then's just chasing dreams in

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Speaker 1: my statement got me feel like I'm made it, and

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Speaker 1: I wake up and see frustration raising for Raymon. Thankfully

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Speaker 1: they know me can get enough of a paper get on.

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Speaker 2: My fun by someone much that if you put it

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Speaker 2: ame ma, I'm on one. And if you get a time,

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Speaker 2: I'm mont forgot when I'm a pleasing behavior and.

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Speaker 3: We're all friend.

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Speaker 4: Hey, guys, welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm

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Speaker 4: Erica and this is Nila and we are joined today

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Speaker 4: by a very special guest, Nisia Boswell.

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Speaker 5: She is actually why don't we Why don't you tell

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Speaker 5: us who you are?

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Speaker 3: Okay? Hi? Everyone, name for bab Blow and I am

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Speaker 3: the creator of Black Mom's Blood. When we talk parents

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Speaker 3: and culture and lifestyle, call a black point of you.

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Speaker 4: Yes, and we we at Good Moms. We are huge

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Speaker 4: fans of Shanisia. If you haven't followed her, make sure

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Speaker 4: to follow her at Good Mom's Black Good Moms at

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Speaker 4: Black Mom's Blood. And we just wanted to We wanted

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Speaker 4: to have you on because we've been watching your your

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Speaker 4: social media and you you just it's you have a

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Speaker 4: platform where like I think a lot of women. I

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Speaker 4: think that's why you have so many followers. They just

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Speaker 4: gravitate towards your page because there's so much there's so

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Speaker 4: much representation of things that we don't get to see

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Speaker 4: all the time in the media, like just black love,

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Speaker 4: black black breastfeeding. You know it is Black Breastfeeding Week

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Speaker 4: this week, and just positive black images of mothers, whether

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Speaker 4: they're single or in relationships. There's there's not necessarily one platform,

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Speaker 4: per se. I think there are now they're popping up

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Speaker 4: more and more where where women of color can really

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Speaker 4: go and feel represented.

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Speaker 5: So so thank you for that.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, And that's really where it came from. When

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Speaker 3: I when I entered into this blogging world. Back then,

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Speaker 3: there weren't a lot of us doing this, and so

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Speaker 3: I kind of consider myself on a catalyst that made

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Speaker 3: it more normal, and so I just wanted to see

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Speaker 3: that in the block Inspritch. I want to see more

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Speaker 3: Black women that felt comfortable talking.

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Speaker 5: About parenthood exactly.

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Speaker 4: So can you just tell us a little like where

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Speaker 4: are you from? I know you live in Atlanta right now.

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Speaker 4: Are you from Atlanta or how did you get there?

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Speaker 3: Are you? Like? What's your story?

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Speaker 5: What's your story, girl?

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Speaker 3: What's my story? My story is I've lived in Atlanta

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Speaker 3: now for almost ten years, eleven years somewhere in the area.

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Speaker 3: I will up here to go to Georgia State University.

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Speaker 3: I'm from Mona Robbins, very small town down south, and

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Speaker 3: like I always say, you know went, I came up

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Speaker 3: to the school and I looked around and felt like

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Speaker 3: all of my peers just kind of like they knew

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Speaker 3: what they were going to do, and I had no idea,

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Speaker 3: and so I kind of felt like stumbling weed was

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Speaker 3: trying to figure out my way. I became a mom

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Speaker 3: pretty early on. Amongst all of my friends, I was

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Speaker 3: pretty much the first one I have a baby, and

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Speaker 3: I just felt so isolated in that apparently at that

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Speaker 3: time because our generation, we're just not really having kids anymore.

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Speaker 3: And then so when I became a mother and I

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Speaker 3: started to get comfortable in that role, I realized that

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Speaker 3: I didn't really also didn't fit that normal you know

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Speaker 3: mom that just oh, I come home and I family, family, family,

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Speaker 3: and my baby. I was like, I'm young, I'm a millennial.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I have a good time. How do

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Speaker 3: I find a way to reach out for more moms

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Speaker 3: to fall into the category that I'm in. So that's

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Speaker 3: a little bit of the background of Live Black Mom's

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Speaker 3: blog is what it is. It's not. I just wanted

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Speaker 3: to make a comfortable space for the moms who don't

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Speaker 3: fit that norm.

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Speaker 4: Did you when you started it, did you want Did

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Speaker 4: you always imagine it being as big as it is

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Speaker 4: or was it just kind of like an a little

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Speaker 4: passion project or just your outlet.

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Speaker 3: I feel like it's so funny because I really don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't I don't want to limit myself and say, oh,

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Speaker 3: I never saw it getting big. I'm a strong believer

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Speaker 3: and in my own safface, so I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: if I do this, it's probably gonna be okay. But

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Speaker 3: I didn't really pursue it for that reason, I guess

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Speaker 3: the small way to put it. I didn't pursue it

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Speaker 3: from the beginning, like, oh, I'm doing this so that

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Speaker 3: it turns into the huge platform. And I feel that

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Speaker 3: because it did come from a place of passion, people

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Speaker 3: really connected with the genuineness behind it, and that's why

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Speaker 3: Dick gets so big.

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Speaker 6: How old were you when you had your you have

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Speaker 6: a daughter or son?

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Speaker 3: I have a daughter, she's five years old.

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Speaker 6: How old were you when you had her?

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Speaker 3: I got pregnant twenty two. I had her when I

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Speaker 3: was twenty third set.

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Speaker 6: And then when did you start Black Mom's blog?

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Speaker 3: I so most it was actually in my second business.

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Speaker 3: So when she was one, I started a skincare line

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Speaker 3: and I ran that for about two and a half years.

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Speaker 3: I started Black Month's blog when she was three.

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Speaker 6: Cool are you single?

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Speaker 3: Are you married? Dating? I am so single? Girl me,

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Speaker 3: I've been in a relationship for two years.

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Speaker 4: How do you What is dating like for you? Because

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Speaker 4: I'm I'm sort of new to dating.

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Speaker 5: I mean, I'm a year in and it's been interesting.

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Speaker 5: It's fun at first. Then it's like.

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Speaker 3: Dating is definitely interesting when you're a mother because the

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Speaker 3: one that times some strain is different, you know, And

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Speaker 3: when you're single and you don't have kids, you can

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Speaker 3: just kind of get up and go and give a

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Speaker 3: lot more flexibility to it. And it just depends on

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Speaker 3: what type of dating you're doing, because as a parent,

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Speaker 3: sometimes seem like to be dating have a good time

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Speaker 3: and that's perfectly okay, and sometimes you're dating for something

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Speaker 3: more serious. And so I found out like when I

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Speaker 3: was kind of in my good time. Maybe when I

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Speaker 3: wasn't really looking for anything serious, it was cool, you know,

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Speaker 3: I just like I have London Street, what you guys

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Speaker 3: going on? But that was the only day. And so

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Speaker 3: when I started to get in a mindset of saying

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Speaker 3: things are a little bit more serious, my daughter came

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Speaker 3: to fight. So that was something I was there in front. Hey,

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Speaker 3: you know my mom, right, do you have a problem

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Speaker 3: with that or kids? So to me to change the

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Speaker 3: dynamics of the men that I chose to surround myself with,

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Speaker 3: because now that I'm in that elemental space and saying

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Speaker 3: I'm looking for something more serious, I'm way more selective

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Speaker 3: about luck bringing my energy for sure.

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Speaker 5: What's what's the dating scene like in Atlanta?

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Speaker 3: What is it like us? Maybe not if I'd discouraging Atlanta.

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Speaker 3: Dating in Atlanta is interesting because the men here, there's

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Speaker 3: so many people, there's so many tea and we're kind

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Speaker 3: of like in this space where every man wants to

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Speaker 3: be Polly and they just believe they should have all

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Speaker 3: their cake needed to. Really, yes, I don't.

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Speaker 6: I don't even know if I've ever heard of black

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Speaker 6: men say Polly.

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Speaker 3: Girl. Atlanta is the hotel capital and it has went

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Speaker 3: past the whole tep men and his women to the

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Speaker 3: regular corporate man. It's one into the credative men. Nobody

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Speaker 3: wants to get married. Everybody's trying to figure out their life,

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Speaker 3: and so dating here is really hard because it's such

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Speaker 3: an entrepreneurial, creative city. You're not getting there. There aren't

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Speaker 3: a lot of traditional men here, and there's so many

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Speaker 3: women right right, And there's so many beautiful women. Atlanta.

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Speaker 3: It's full of beautiful women, successful Black women. So it's

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Speaker 3: not one of those places where it's like, oh, you're

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Speaker 3: the queen of the crop and everybody's trying to get

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Speaker 3: with you. It's pretty much the opposite. Then here have

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Speaker 3: their share picks and yeah, it's not the easiest to

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Speaker 3: be cadated.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so interesting because that's like the word pollie.

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Speaker 4: I feel like it's such a foreign idea to so many,

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Speaker 4: at least I thought so.

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Speaker 5: Many Black maybe men, maybe not women, but to men.

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Speaker 6: I feel like, well, I just remember when she said

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Speaker 6: the whole hotel thing.

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Speaker 7: That is true there there is like there is like

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Speaker 7: a I used to live in the West End and

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Speaker 7: there is like a very villagey black hippie like community

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Speaker 7: in Atlanta, Like it's beautiful, but yeah, I could see that,

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Speaker 7: like be my my my second wife's sister.

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Speaker 3: I can't even pay my rent? Right, Like, uh noa

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Speaker 3: not happening.

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Speaker 7: I'm down for being a survived got three to the

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Speaker 7: guys who it's literally every man wants three girlfriends or

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Speaker 7: three wives?

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Speaker 3: Like how play? You don't even want situation out of control?

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Speaker 7: Right, they've they've missed construed the like the basics, the

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Speaker 7: fundamentals of the Polly relationship.

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Speaker 6: Right, you got to take care of all of them

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Speaker 6: in the village?

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Speaker 7: Would you be would you if you found like a man,

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Speaker 7: like an eligible man that was like had his ship

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Speaker 7: together and could like financially and emotionally support multiple vibes?

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Speaker 5: How would you?

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Speaker 6: Would you be down for it all?

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Speaker 3: I'll answer that question by saying that I haven't found

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Speaker 3: a man who's.

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Speaker 7: Right, you showed me him, and I'll give you an answer, right, right,

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Speaker 7: that's the truth.

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Speaker 6: And like, do you co parent with your daughter's dad?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Actually I co parent with my daughter's father. We

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Speaker 3: live in the same apartment building.

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Speaker 5: Oh cool, Yeah we have Yeah.

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Speaker 3: We have a really good parenting relationship.

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Speaker 5: He I mean you're not.

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Speaker 4: It's not weird, Like, isn't too close. He knows how

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Speaker 4: he knows what you're doing all the time.

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Speaker 7: Like or is it like a huge apartment building. He's

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Speaker 7: on the other side of it.

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Speaker 3: It's a high rise. He lives in a pretty big building.

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Speaker 3: So I'm on the fourth floor. He's on the eleventh floor. Okay,

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Speaker 3: And yeah, everybody, whenever I talked about that, you know,

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Speaker 3: I have the blogs, but I try to keep a

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Speaker 3: lot of my personal things out of it. I'm getting

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Speaker 3: to the place now where I can feel a little

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Speaker 3: bit more comfortable and talking about it. But yeah, everybody

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Speaker 3: gives the same reaction. They're like what, and of course

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Speaker 3: they want to know there's still somethings going you know,

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Speaker 3: right right right, Yeah, it's the thing. It's cool.

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Speaker 6: I mean, it's convenient, Like I wanted the store. Okay,

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Speaker 6: I'll bear it back. Yeah, come on, that.

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Speaker 3: Was funny because that that's the ideal standpoint, and it's

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Speaker 3: getting better in that sense. But it wasn't always that way.

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Speaker 6: So so it's taking time to get to get to

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Speaker 6: this place.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, did you guys move in there on like intentionally

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Speaker 4: because it's got a lot to be getting easier, or.

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Speaker 3: So it has been. We've listed in this building, and

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Speaker 3: when we were together and when we broke up, I

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Speaker 3: ended up leaving. People say here, but it's been a

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Speaker 3: very convenient part of Atlanta's living to town and it's

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Speaker 3: you know, good area. I don't drive either. I have

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Speaker 3: lived in Atlanta for ten years and I don't drive.

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Speaker 3: And so when I got ready to find a place

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Speaker 3: to move back to, I was like going back to

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Speaker 3: my old building. I did not care to use here.

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Speaker 3: Did not start off like this intentional, like let's be

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Speaker 3: great co parents to stay in the same faith, but

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Speaker 3: I did consider that. I was like, well, this gonna

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Speaker 3: makes me a little bit more convenient and easier when

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Speaker 3: it comes to parenting our daughter.

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Speaker 7: Have you ever like seen him in the lobby bringing

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Speaker 7: up a girl girl?

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Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah? When so when it's been two years since

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Speaker 3: we've been broken up. He has been in another relationship

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Speaker 3: at this point for about a year and a half.

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Speaker 3: And you said it's been two years since you guys

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Speaker 3: broke up. Yeah, we've been broken up for two years, Okay,

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Speaker 3: and he has a new girlfriend. She's been around for

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Speaker 3: about a year and a half. We actually just hung

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Speaker 3: out about a month ter three weeks ago, it took

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Speaker 3: her her She came with me and my daughter to

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Speaker 3: the park. So it's saying that that has not always

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Speaker 3: been easy to the building. There were definitely some stressful

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Speaker 3: times going on. I was him with other women and

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Speaker 3: he was still you know, it was just interesting. So

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Speaker 3: once we kind of established that being really over and

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Speaker 3: this was it, it became easier, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 3: and handling some things. But yeah, I've bran into him

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Speaker 3: with women and I you know, yeah.

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Speaker 7: Damn you do you think that do you think that

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Speaker 7: like that reality has made it easier for you to

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Speaker 7: like move on because we always well I always talk

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Speaker 7: about like even if you know something's over, once you

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Speaker 7: have a child with somebody likes as women, there's like

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Speaker 7: we're in we're like in bread to have.

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Speaker 6: This like responsibly.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, like we're supposed to get married and have this

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Speaker 7: white picket fence like lifestyle. So like, even when you

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Speaker 7: know you don't like this guy, you're like, no, it

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Speaker 7: may work.

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Speaker 5: So what will you hold on to this?

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Speaker 3: You hold this like this idea, tiny little.

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Speaker 5: Part of this idea.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I definitely agree to be there. My relationship

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Speaker 3: with my ex was not the greatest. It looked really

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Speaker 3: pretty on pape for everybody was like, oh yeah, I'll

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Speaker 3: go hold the technal idea. And I don't say that

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Speaker 3: as a way of bashing him. We were just young

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Speaker 3: and we didn't communicate well, and we were we really

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Speaker 3: were trying to do the right thing and raising our daughter.

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Speaker 3: But it's kind of like, just like you said, you

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Speaker 3: can know you don't want to be with somebody, and

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Speaker 3: because they are the father of your child, so like

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Speaker 3: you have the duty to make it work. And for me.

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Speaker 8: What ended up really just divering the course. I got

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Speaker 8: to this point with it where it was.

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Speaker 3: Like I want to have a peaceful light, and I

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Speaker 3: found myself, you know, just very stressed out over things

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Speaker 3: that were going on between us. And so one day

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Speaker 3: I was just like, this is it. All we're going

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Speaker 3: to focus on is co parenting. We have to get

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Speaker 3: along for our daughter. And that was way more important

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Speaker 3: to me than trying to figure out our situation, because

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Speaker 3: it was clear that there was no situation, and being

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Speaker 3: in the same space and having interacts with him and

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Speaker 3: things that occurred during that time really spurn up it

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Speaker 3: for me. So once I let that go, it wasn't

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Speaker 3: for him, and it looks for myself. I felt myself

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Speaker 3: feeling angry and I'm allowed to make this perfect. Don't

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Speaker 3: care like, let me I can get peace of mind.

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Speaker 3: And at that point I was able to see him

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Speaker 3: away with him and whoever.

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Speaker 7: Was right, and you know, yeah, that's I guess it's

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Speaker 7: like everybody's I mean everybody.

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Speaker 6: So sometimes people hold onto ship, but I think like

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Speaker 6: the New Error Woman is more.

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Speaker 7: Like in tune with the fact that you know it

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Speaker 7: doesn't really matter. Your happiness comes first. So that's right,

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Speaker 7: that's most important because you can't be happy and raise

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Speaker 7: a you can't be unhappy and bitter and raise a

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Speaker 7: happy child because that child is going to sense that

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Speaker 7: you know they are and to forgive.

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Speaker 3: It's never about the other person, It's about you, right

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Speaker 3: if I don't forgive you and I nay, well, right,

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Speaker 3: person started to look at your baby, daddy, and you

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Speaker 3: know your kids call do you want to call that person?

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Speaker 3: And who they are and taking their their reactions so

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Speaker 3: personally and it's like this is the person. It helps

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Speaker 3: you here looking a little bit better.

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Speaker 4: Well, yeah, yeah, I think that's something we've definitely talked about,

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Speaker 4: for sure, like not taking things personally and just understanding

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Speaker 4: that a lot of the reasons that maybe it didn't

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Speaker 4: work out between you two, or me and my baby

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Speaker 4: daddy or Mila and hers, it really has nothing. I mean,

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Speaker 4: of course we all play our part, but at the

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Speaker 4: end of the day, you don't have.

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Speaker 6: Nothing to do with you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, a lot of a lot of the mistakes that

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Speaker 4: were made maybe on that you feel like he or

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Speaker 4: she did, you know, it has a lot to do

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Speaker 4: with them and not try not to but try not

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Speaker 4: to take things personally is so hard.

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Speaker 3: And people like, oh my god, you got you're so

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Speaker 3: greating up. I was like, what it looks like.

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Speaker 6: Now right because it took time to get.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we still have our moments, so I'm it's like

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Speaker 3: I can't say it, you know, every day it's a

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Speaker 3: possis Yeah.

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Speaker 4: That and it's a paired with expectation, which I feel like,

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Speaker 4: you know, when you have a kid, your expectations just

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Speaker 4: automatically change and you feel like, you know, you want

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Speaker 4: to protect your child from anything anything you feel like

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Speaker 4: it's not right, or you don't want them to experience,

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Speaker 4: or you don't want them to see, or you feel

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Speaker 4: like your partner isn't doing you know, it's just like

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Speaker 4: ooh girl, I'm I'm working through both those things right

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Speaker 4: now and I can't wait to be on the other

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Speaker 4: side of it.

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Speaker 5: I can't wait.

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Speaker 3: It's a beautiful place to be. Let me tell you

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Speaker 3: at peace.

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Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, So did you when you had your daughter?

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Speaker 5: Did you have a natural birth?

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Speaker 1: Home?

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Speaker 3: Birth?

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Speaker 5: Hospital? What was your what was your birthing experience?

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Speaker 3: I had a natural birth in a hospital. It was

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Speaker 3: supposed to be a water birth. I've never crossed the park,

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Speaker 3: so I sure without me every dural medication, and that

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Speaker 3: was like the real goal. It was something I wanted

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Speaker 3: to accomplish. I didn't get called up on it. I

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Speaker 3: was like, hey, what happens. Happened, But that's what I

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Speaker 3: was aiming for and I was able to accomplish that.

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Speaker 5: That's awesome. How many hours of labor are you in?

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Speaker 3: My labor was like still technicook and perfect, like I would.

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Speaker 3: I had a pool twenty four hour labor. I went

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Speaker 3: into labor at I probably wit what's my mother's house

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Speaker 3: to live about two and a half hours pounce of here,

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Speaker 3: and I was.

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Speaker 8: Like, I'm tired of getting pregnant.

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Speaker 3: I was thirty eight weeks fun and we went to

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Speaker 3: the fair and I walked for about two and a

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Speaker 3: half hours. I went into labor the next day around

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Speaker 3: ten o'clock at night, and I had her. She's sixteen

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Speaker 3: the next morning.

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Speaker 5: Oho, that's pretty perfect. M h, what's your when's what's

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Speaker 5: your sign?

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Speaker 7: Just because I because, ah, yeah, we got this a

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Speaker 7: cancer and a scorpio here, so we got all the

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Speaker 7: water signs in his hour A.

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Speaker 3: Yeah we like you. What's your sign? Yeah?

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Speaker 6: I have like the multiple best friends scorpios anti sis.

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Speaker 3: What was gonna ask you?

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Speaker 5: Do you want more kids?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I definitely want more children.

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Speaker 5: How many like one to ten I would like to have.

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Speaker 3: Realistically, I mean, if if I can handle it, we

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Speaker 3: have exalting but children.

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Speaker 4: I mean you are posting the cutest babies all day.

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Speaker 4: I wrong, like your ovaries must be like exploding.

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Speaker 3: Pain though, because I have baby fever. But I'm not

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Speaker 3: going to have another baby, right? This is it? Yeah?

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Speaker 7: I was gonna ask you, Okay, so how do you

378
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Speaker 7: balance being like a full time mom and business woman?

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Speaker 3: You have help?

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Speaker 5: Like is your daughter she's obviously has in school, so

381
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Speaker 5: got home school?

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Speaker 3: Now, Cameron was so I would stay at home mom

383
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Speaker 3: for a couple of years. She didn't start really going

384
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Speaker 3: to school because she was about three four years old.

385
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:20,920
Speaker 3: I don't have any family in Atlanta. My house father,

386
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 3: he doesn't really have family in Atlanta like that. That

387
00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:26,520
Speaker 3: helps out, and so I was able the only one.

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Speaker 3: I'm able to move the way that I'm moving because

389
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Speaker 3: I have this course around me that is phenomenal, you know.

390
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 3: And I always tell moms that when you become a mother,

391
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Speaker 3: you have to change up your circle because if you're

392
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Speaker 3: only just being around your single friends with that party mindset,

393
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Speaker 3: then you're gonna struggle, right. So I wanted to develop

394
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Speaker 3: these circles of women and even fill some of my

395
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:49,000
Speaker 3: best friends who don't have that circle as well. But

396
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Speaker 3: when I have a vis and things like Cameron, you know,

397
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:53,560
Speaker 3: my friends come out. She got just what they were

398
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Speaker 3: one her aunties. With her starting school, that's definitely been

399
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Speaker 3: a blessing because I have my day time for me

400
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,200
Speaker 3: to do think I need to do. And her father

401
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,760
Speaker 3: and I have a pretty arrangement.

402
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Speaker 9: Where I have like.

403
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 3: Dad, so I have you know, the whole day.

404
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:13,159
Speaker 1: That was.

405
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Speaker 9: How I wouldn't need to day and I have time.

406
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,760
Speaker 3: And I'm like you have five days a week, six

407
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,240
Speaker 3: days yourself to do that. It's time for me to

408
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,280
Speaker 3: have some time alone so that I can confer formal

409
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Speaker 3: connection with somebody else.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, hell yeah, that's only fair.

411
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Speaker 7: And girl, I absolutely commend you from like being cool

412
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,399
Speaker 7: and being able to go to the park with her,

413
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Speaker 7: because I don't know if I could do it. I mean,

414
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 7: like I understand being mature and wanting to know the

415
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 7: person that's around your your child. You know, that's important,

416
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 7: Like I need to know who you are as a person.

417
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 7: So I get that, but like it does take like

418
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 7: a big part of like, you know, it.

419
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,160
Speaker 4: Also plays a part in what the what the approach

420
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 4: of what the woman's approaches to you too. If she

421
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 4: comes at you respectfully, and you know, you might you

422
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 4: might change your mind. If she's crazy, then you'll.

423
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Speaker 3: Be like bitch, right but right, But if I mean,

424
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:20,560
Speaker 3: it was definitely a thing somebody that we knew what

425
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it was awkward.

426
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,440
Speaker 6: Wait, so it was like kind of like a mtual friend,

427
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 6: not a natal friend, but.

428
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Speaker 3: Somebody kind of knew who was around.

429
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:39,960
Speaker 9: Yeah, probably was around, and that's talk there. But the

430
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:48,080
Speaker 9: reality of it, I didn't want to do any more anymore.

431
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 3: And kind of that.

432
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Speaker 6: All the other extras are just extras.

433
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and look at the other person. She's not

434
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 3: a bad person, Like, actually, she's not a bad woman.

435
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 3: And when I really kind of step back to look

436
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,440
Speaker 3: at it, because the thing is my daughter, my daughter's father,

437
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 3: I need him always to be the greatest things for

438
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:11,200
Speaker 3: me because she's my daughter's father, right, And it was

439
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,680
Speaker 3: something I had to realize about myself. I was like,

440
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,160
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be able to be a woman

441
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 3: for him and she kind of it is like that

442
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:21,240
Speaker 3: takes a life at mittad, but they worked well together, right,

443
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 3: And so when I had to when I kind of

444
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,879
Speaker 3: got step into space, I realized that a lot of

445
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 3: times women we find fault in each other instead of

446
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,119
Speaker 3: looking at that man and saying, it's ain't even about you.

447
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 3: And so once I had a basket up praise with her,

448
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,159
Speaker 3: I was like, I don't have any issues with her,

449
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 3: and it might be going to stop him from dating her.

450
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 3: She at some point will possibly be around my child.

451
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 3: And it was important for me to let Cameron see

452
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 3: me introduced her to her so that she wouldn't feel

453
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 3: like she had to be put defensive of her mother,

454
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 3: you know, She's a very protective of us, and so

455
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 3: if Daddy would have done it, she would have felt like,

456
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,639
Speaker 3: I need to be in this position to defend mommy.

457
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:01,720
Speaker 3: Let some want to know that mommy is mommy and

458
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 3: I needed her, needing me and her together to know

459
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,520
Speaker 3: it's okay, you're right. Mm hmm.

460
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:13,159
Speaker 5: That's big of you. I mean right now, no, like what.

461
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:14,960
Speaker 3: No?

462
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 4: Okay, First of all, face is not always but I'm thinking,

463
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 4: I'm just thinking. I'm just I'm just trying to visualize

464
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 4: my future in that way and how like well, I

465
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:29,440
Speaker 4: also I just so basically, the my my baby dies,

466
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 4: the reason we're not together is because he cheated on

467
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:33,399
Speaker 4: me profusely. The women that he cheated on me with

468
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:37,480
Speaker 4: were terrible people. So I just think about like him,

469
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,919
Speaker 4: the type of women that he'll date in the future.

470
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:41,680
Speaker 4: I'm like, what kind of woman is he going to

471
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 4: bring around my kid? I'm like, can I Maybe it'll change,

472
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,640
Speaker 4: maybe like he'll have some like aha moment and he'll

473
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:52,119
Speaker 4: date like a really like smart, well put together, you know,

474
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,359
Speaker 4: well spoken, respectful person.

475
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,920
Speaker 5: But I pray to God that that happens and that

476
00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 5: we can go to the park.

477
00:23:58,920 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 1: I mean that.

478
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 3: I will say in how you had your relationship with training.

479
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 3: I'm change is a lot. You know, we had to

480
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:10,639
Speaker 3: have issues with cheating, so I can imagine like he

481
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 3: had issues and cheating and then he ended up person.

482
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 3: I don't know if I could be this amicable because

483
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 3: that wasn't the issue. We had other issues that did

484
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 3: not involve other people, right right. I think I wasn't

485
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 3: involved in nominationship to started after me and him broke up,

486
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 3: so I all those things taken into consideration place he

487
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 3: was a part of how I'm able to do this.

488
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 3: If he would cheating on me and all this stuff

489
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,280
Speaker 3: was going on, I could not. I don't know if

490
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 3: I could be this easy about it.

491
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:40,439
Speaker 7: I am so like, I'm so happy that you are

492
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,480
Speaker 7: open enough to like share that because you know, I

493
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:49,159
Speaker 7: I just think, especially in the black community, it's not

494
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,919
Speaker 7: something we see that often or hear about that often,

495
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 7: and it's important because I agree. I think it's important.

496
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 7: I think, like, if you want to date me, you're

497
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 7: gonna be basically family with my babies, and I don't

498
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,160
Speaker 7: like them that much, you know, like if you want

499
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,680
Speaker 7: to eventually have kids together, like, well, this is gonna

500
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,440
Speaker 7: be your brother in law. Like low key because it's

501
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,440
Speaker 7: a it should be a family dynamic, and I think

502
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 7: that's important for the child to see the parents in

503
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 7: like a harmonious relationship and you know, and everybody else

504
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 7: involved in it. And I think in the black community,

505
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 7: it's not something that we see and so it's foreign.

506
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 7: And even like I'm dating somebody and I like we

507
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 7: went to Disneyland or some shit, and it was like

508
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 7: a huge deal, and I'm like, dude, you're not gonna

509
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 7: this is gonna continuously be an uphill battle because this

510
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 7: guy is not going anywhere, you know, and.

511
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,239
Speaker 3: Anywhere, and like, no, I don't like him that much.

512
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 3: She sent some foulship.

513
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 7: But at the end of the day, I'm not gonna

514
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 7: punish my child because of our relationship, you know, right.

515
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:53,120
Speaker 7: So I mean and especially as like as like you said,

516
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 7: as women, it's easy to attack the woman. It's easy

517
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 7: to dislike the woman. It's easy to you know, like

518
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 7: not have that that sisterhood or you know.

519
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 6: That be the bigger person. But I you know, I

520
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:06,640
Speaker 6: think that's a big deal.

521
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,159
Speaker 7: And the fact that you're open about it and discuss it,

522
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,919
Speaker 7: it's a great example of how it's supposed to be.

523
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 3: And I want to be I want to be very

524
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,840
Speaker 3: transparent here because I never want to paint the picture

525
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 3: to women that I say physic before I sit again.

526
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:26,719
Speaker 3: It's not ue like even with things that are transpired,

527
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 3: I still have my moments, you know, when he's like, oh,

528
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:32,359
Speaker 3: well we're going here and she's going to be with us.

529
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,120
Speaker 3: There's still that thing that makes my life. I don't

530
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:38,120
Speaker 3: want anybody think that I'm saying there's like, oh yeah,

531
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 3: I'm just very poppin. I still I still definitely have

532
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 3: my moments with it. But when you and I'm sure

533
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,360
Speaker 3: you can attest to this, when you look at where

534
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:50,159
Speaker 3: you were when you were in your relationships where you

535
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 3: are now. I'm so happy where I am, and so

536
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:56,879
Speaker 3: I always remember that I have peace and love in

537
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 3: my life right now. I'm happy. So this all happens

538
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 3: for a reason. So sometimes I just wanted to say that,

539
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,680
Speaker 3: you know, if anybody is listening to this thing, you're

540
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 3: going through that, and don't be like, why can't I

541
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 3: get there? It's not easy, and it's battle every day.

542
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 5: You're human, and it takes time. Time doesn't happen overnight.

543
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 4: I mean, even me slowly push I'm I'm still I mean,

544
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,920
Speaker 4: me and my my my baby's father. We're definitely in

545
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 4: a better space than we were three months ago, you know,

546
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 4: four months ago, and it just takes time and time

547
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:30,640
Speaker 4: and time more time.

548
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:32,920
Speaker 5: And we haven't entered into that the dating.

549
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 4: I mean, obviously I've been dating, but not anyone serious

550
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:39,640
Speaker 4: enough to introduce my child to them and vice versa,

551
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 4: so we haven't. That's a whole other like field, that's

552
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 4: a whole other layer to co parenting and just all

553
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,160
Speaker 4: of that that I haven't even experienced yet. So when

554
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 4: listening to you gives me hope but also makes me like,

555
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 4: oh shit, God, damn.

556
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 3: The level of this show.

557
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 6: I thought I was mature. Maybe not.

558
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,600
Speaker 3: If I'm the man who gets that too, because that's

559
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 3: butble to understanding what men are.

560
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's that's true.

561
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 7: They expect a lot, but then when it's time for

562
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:16,119
Speaker 7: them to for she was on the other foot, it

563
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 7: ain't so easy. Mm hmm. But you know what, that's

564
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:22,119
Speaker 7: a big that what you said was really good, because

565
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 7: sometimes I get like, you can get lonely or however

566
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 7: you feel in your feelings, and you're like, have you

567
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,399
Speaker 7: got if you go back to like the mis how

568
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,639
Speaker 7: miserable you are in an unhappy relationship to being alone.

569
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 7: You're like, oh, never mind, very happy, very grate.

570
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 8: I have more time now than I had when we

571
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 8: were together, and I'm able to get more stuff.

572
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 3: Back, So can't be mad at that?

573
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 6: No, absolutely not, is okay? So it is like your blog,

574
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 6: is that your like your main job or do you

575
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 6: have another job?

576
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think I am able to make that happen.

577
00:28:56,480 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 3: I just started topography as well, So right, two main

578
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 3: sources of income? Wait say the second one again?

579
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 5: Photography?

580
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 6: Photography?

581
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 3: Photography. Oh yeah, I checked that out.

582
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 6: I saw some of your work bomb than you.

583
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 7: I was like, oh, but she's a profession now, she's

584
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 7: real classy, multiple talents and ship.

585
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 3: I saw I read your like the interview did or

586
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 3: the photograph she.

587
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 7: Did with Erica Badum, which is awesome because who doesn't

588
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 7: love Erica obsessed.

589
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 4: Like the Queen Mother Goddess, seen her like ten times

590
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 4: I would see her. Yeah yeah, but I honestly like,

591
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 4: it's so interesting because I've heard her talk about her

592
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 4: her experience as a doula, and she.

593
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 7: Says she talks about in the blog that you read

594
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 7: it that Erica was a doula to her ex partner,

595
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,520
Speaker 7: her baby daddies, two of her baby daddy's kids.

596
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 5: So I think that's full circle.

597
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 3: It was I think it was one. It was one

598
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 3: baby father, two kids. Yeah, yeah, right for the for

599
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 3: the doc.

600
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 5: Oh yeah.

601
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 3: And she said he's still my best friend.

602
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 6: You know, we're still best friends.

603
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 3: And I'm like, goals, I want to do it. Yeah,

604
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 3: that's real.

605
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 7: Right, that's real, bro, that's inspiration for that ass for real. So, Okay,

606
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 7: at what point were you okay once you started this

607
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 7: five uh three? You said three years ago you started.

608
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 6: Black Mom's Blog.

609
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 7: It'll be three years okay, So like what were you

610
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:31,920
Speaker 7: always doing focusing on this full time?

611
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 3: Or did you have like a point where you were

612
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 3: able to like just do solely this or.

613
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, like, at what point did in your journey with

614
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 4: Black Mom's Blog did you finally make it your full

615
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 4: time job? Because I think a lot of our listeners

616
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 4: and us too, like we're starting, we're just on this

617
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 4: journey of our podcast and you know, navigating through social

618
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 4: media and.

619
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 5: Just I mean, I think a lot of.

620
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 4: Our followers too have aspirations of you know, taking using

621
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 4: social media and making it a full time job. I

622
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 4: think so many people do now because our art, so

623
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 4: much in our lives are driven by it.

624
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, So at what point were you able to feel

625
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 5: comfortable being like, Okay, you know what this is it.

626
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 4: I can walk away from whatever else, what other other

627
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 4: sources of income and make this my full time thing.

628
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:24,840
Speaker 3: So when I started Black homk Clog, I was a

629
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 3: say home mother, but I have my own deals, right,

630
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna star off baying that my daughter's father

631
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 3: was our primary source of income for everything. I was

632
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 3: monetizing a little bit, but not that much. And when

633
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 3: we broke up, I moved out. We moved in with

634
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 3: some friends of mine, and I was like, Okay, I'm

635
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 3: still going to blog, but I was also going to

636
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 3: look for a full time job. With my schedule and

637
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 3: being a mother, I'm sure you kind of tested this job.

638
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 9: Do not care.

639
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,640
Speaker 3: They want you to sell your life to them. They

640
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 3: don't care about weekends, they don't care about late night.

641
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 3: And I was having a real hard time finding feasible

642
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 3: income that would support my daughter and I And I

643
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 3: think at the time Black Must Blog was sitting on

644
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 3: about thirty or forty thousand followers, and I had I

645
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 3: was like Okay, well, let me professionalize my blog and

646
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:11,720
Speaker 3: get a media kit and a Rake card and all that.

647
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 3: And I just started pitching and I was like, I'm

648
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 3: sitting on this platform that could be something more than

649
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 3: what it is. And so within six months, I had

650
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 3: monetized the block out to about sixteen thousand dollars. So

651
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, so this has the potential to

652
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 3: be something great. I also want to say, at the

653
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 3: time that I got into blogging and monetizing, the market

654
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 3: was amazing for it. Instagram has since changed the algorithm,

655
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 3: and I don't ever want anybody to think that, you know, oh,

656
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,080
Speaker 3: it's like it's just about the twenty things like it's

657
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 3: become harder to make money on Instagram now. They kind

658
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 3: of got hit to what was going on, and they've

659
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 3: changed a lot of their things, like our supposeds to

660
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 3: do really well, and they still do really well, but

661
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 3: they've just changed the advertising market. So that has been

662
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 3: an effect. So at the time this was maybe I

663
00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:01,240
Speaker 3: will say, three months into me monetizing. One of my mentors,

664
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 3: she's one of my mentors now. She runs an eco

665
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 3: friendly baby store here and she hired me to work

666
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 3: there part time and It was great because it was

667
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 3: still in the element of what I was doing. And

668
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 3: I did that for about seven or eight months, and

669
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 3: the blog was really starting to do well. But I

670
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 3: noticed that because I was working and being creative for

671
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 3: someone else, I wasn't able to focus on myself. So

672
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 3: I made this decision. I was like, I have to

673
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 3: walk away. And it was a gamble because I wasn't

674
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 3: making a ton of money at her spot, but it

675
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 3: was consistent, and I was like, if I quit, then

676
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 3: I'll be able to really focus on my blog and

677
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 3: increase that. And I worked backwards. I was like, if

678
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 3: I'm making this amount every month, what is it that

679
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 3: I need to do on the block to make the

680
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:44,959
Speaker 3: same amount. So I made a plan. I gave her

681
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 3: a thirty day notice and I walked away after a

682
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 3: year roughly of monetizing. And so that was a year

683
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 3: and a half film.

684
00:33:54,760 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 6: Wowow, that's spomb I'm inspired. I'm like, take care out

685
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 6: slid media kids.

686
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, what was that? No, but the bomb is.

687
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,399
Speaker 6: Really good and everything you touch on it is really

688
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 6: uh useful.

689
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:17,879
Speaker 7: So for our listeners, if you haven't checked it out,

690
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,359
Speaker 7: Black Mom's blog has like a bunch of really cool

691
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 7: articles I saw like fitness stuff, recipes, like local things.

692
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 6: That you take your daughter to in Atlanta. And I

693
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:29,839
Speaker 6: know you guys do events too.

694
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, we do mostly event pretty much going to Hot

695
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:37,839
Speaker 3: Life by Rome. It's actually started in January, normal fun.

696
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 3: Around March. We did our first meet up of the

697
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 3: year in Philadelphia and we didn't want to RUNTI. This

698
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 3: year we did one in Orland and mostly Atlanta. So

699
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 3: I have them about eight to nine months out of

700
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 3: the year, once a month. Majority of them are free

701
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 3: origination faith and it really is for women to come

702
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 3: out and be able to connect with women in their city.

703
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 6: Cool like a mom networking event. Yes, yep, that's cool.

704
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 5: I saw you have.

705
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 7: You're doing some things for this week for Black Mom

706
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:12,319
Speaker 7: Black Breastfeeding Week. Yeap, what are some of the things

707
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:13,239
Speaker 7: you guys are doing this week?

708
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 3: So we pretty much dedicated the entire month of March

709
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 3: or Marsh. We dedicated the entire month of August to

710
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 3: black breastfeeding And as you know, month is March. Why

711
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 3: do I keep staying Marsh August is the official months

712
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:30,320
Speaker 3: for breastfeeding with a national holidays technically for moms, and

713
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:31,920
Speaker 3: we probably the only ones that know about it. But

714
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:36,959
Speaker 3: and in our community, black women are the lowest number

715
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 3: of women that breastfeed, our infant mortality rate is higher,

716
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 3: and so I really wanted to sit light on that. So,

717
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:46,360
Speaker 3: I mean, we've wrote articles, We've partnered with in Great brands,

718
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,800
Speaker 3: and our big event for the month of March was

719
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,840
Speaker 3: the nursusan that was helped to cut Sunday and it

720
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,120
Speaker 3: was just an event that we encouraged women to come

721
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 3: out in solidarity to show support for black breastfeeding mothers.

722
00:35:58,400 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 6: Nice did you breastfeed?

723
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 3: I did breastfeed? Yes, like for how long? By asking? Yeah,

724
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 3: I know, it's fine. I only readest for about six months.

725
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 3: And even in those six months, I didn't do it

726
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 3: exclusively right And at the time, like I said, I

727
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 3: have my daughter when I was twenty three, and I

728
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 3: just didn't know what to do, you know what I mean, Like, yeah,

729
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 3: I was painful. I was always worried that she didn't

730
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,400
Speaker 3: have enough milk. Like I said, I was only one

731
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:30,240
Speaker 3: of my friends I had kids, and there was nobody

732
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 3: for me to talk to about it, and I just

733
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 3: became nervous. And you know, her father was, oh, she's

734
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 3: crying to must be hungry. And so we started formula

735
00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:41,279
Speaker 3: and writing up pretty early. So this part of this

736
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 3: too was very personal because I remember what I felt

737
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 3: like when I was going to that, and I was like,

738
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 3: how can I help another dow mom not go to

739
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,040
Speaker 3: that and know that it's okay?

740
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 8: So I wanted to provide those resources for my.

741
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 3: Mom's on the page that felt thotained tellings that I

742
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:56,399
Speaker 3: had when I was first seeing my daughter.

743
00:36:56,920 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, did your mom encourage you? Or like, are you

744
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 7: willing to have a lot of friends that our moms

745
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,480
Speaker 7: were like? Was it like did you like was there

746
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 7: a lot of discussion about breastfeeding before you had the

747
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:08,839
Speaker 7: baby or was it just like, oh, I guess I'm

748
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 7: supposed to do this.

749
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 3: There wasn't much discussion, And like I said, my mom

750
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 3: doesn't live here in Atlanta, so and I was very

751
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,800
Speaker 3: I'm a very strong minded person. So when I have

752
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 3: my mind but on something, there's not much you can

753
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 3: say or do this than to convince me otherwise, Like

754
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 3: I love my mom dearly. But even when it came

755
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 3: to the birthing process, I want to have a natural birth,

756
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 3: and I knew I needed to be as stress free

757
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 3: as possible, so I allowed nobody in the room. I

758
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:35,440
Speaker 3: told everyone I would cause them when she was here,

759
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:39,359
Speaker 3: and it was just myself and her father. So even

760
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 3: when it came to breastfeeding, no, I didn't really Me

761
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 3: and my mom didn't really have that conversation. I guess,

762
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 3: you know, like my mom's supported of any and everything

763
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 3: that I do. She is one of the most suppossed

764
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,719
Speaker 3: parents I've ever came across. And I'm not despised because

765
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 3: she's my mom, Like she really is. Anything I've ever

766
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 3: wanted to do, she has my back on it without

767
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 3: any questions. She has not back. And so because I've

768
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:05,760
Speaker 3: always known that, I didn't fear, oh she's gonna feel

769
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 3: this way if I do this, And that pretty much

770
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 3: been a huge motivation in my entire life. I know

771
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:13,359
Speaker 3: that my mom will support me. I don't care if

772
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 3: I want to go go be a strip for tomorrow.

773
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,400
Speaker 3: She would support me, you know, and to have that

774
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:20,719
Speaker 3: from your mom really makes you feel like you can

775
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 3: do anything. So that wasn't the issue. I just didn't know,

776
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 3: you know what I mean.

777
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 6: I mean, like a lot I mean, like a lot

778
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 6: of women don't know, like a lot of moms. It's

779
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:35,359
Speaker 6: all forlorn until you're in it, and then you're like, oh,

780
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:36,399
Speaker 6: I think this is what I'm.

781
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 3: Supposed to do.

782
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:40,360
Speaker 4: Well honestly, I mean for me, first of all, I

783
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 4: didn't even know Black Reastfeeding Week existed until this year.

784
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 3: He did it.

785
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 5: No, had no idea. And also.

786
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 4: While I've researched more about it, and I mean, you know,

787
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 4: obviously we researched, you know, the statistics and like only

788
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 4: sixty five percent of Black women even a temp breastfeeding,

789
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,960
Speaker 4: and that hospitals or nine times more likely to offer

790
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 4: formula to black woman. Thinking about my experience with breastfeeding,

791
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:14,399
Speaker 4: I realized, like really recently, like the last two days,

792
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:17,400
Speaker 4: after really going in and really understanding all of this,

793
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:23,320
Speaker 4: I was totally influenced into giving my kid formula and that.

794
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 4: And now I'm like, I feel like taken advantage of

795
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,279
Speaker 4: I'm like, wait, what the fuck? I seriously had this

796
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,360
Speaker 4: moment even this morning when I was looking up some

797
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 4: more stuff, I was like, oh my God, Like my

798
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:39,160
Speaker 4: my doctor never offered donor milk, never even suggested it.

799
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:43,239
Speaker 4: And I liked briacet feeding consultant. When I was I

800
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 4: had a LA lactation specialist, and like when I gave birth,

801
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 4: she came and she, you know, because Iri was having

802
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 4: problems latching. And you know, I breastfed my daughter for

803
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 4: three months, and my doctor kept saying, well, you know,

804
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 4: three months is like a good amount of time. You know,

805
00:39:56,719 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 4: that's like what wow heard association said is like, you

806
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 4: know it's the minimum amount, but if you're gonna do it,

807
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:04,799
Speaker 4: then three months like a good amount of time.

808
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:06,440
Speaker 3: And uh.

809
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 5: And so around three.

810
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 4: Months, like she wasn't getting enough milk and I was

811
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 4: really tired, and she was like, well, let's just give

812
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:17,399
Speaker 4: her formula. Never suggested donor milk, never suggested other ways,

813
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 4: Like it wasn't like he didn't.

814
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,399
Speaker 5: Try to fight for me to try to kill.

815
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 3: Ask you a question that m H when you were

816
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:29,120
Speaker 3: when you give birth, did you have private insurance or

817
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:30,920
Speaker 3: like public insurance?

818
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:31,800
Speaker 9: I guess to say.

819
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 5: Private. Well, through my I had good insurance. I had

820
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 5: good insurance.

821
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 3: Wow.

822
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:39,879
Speaker 1: Yeah.

823
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:43,360
Speaker 4: And and you know my mom breastfed me for a

824
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 4: short amount of time too, So she was always just

825
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:48,480
Speaker 4: she didn't really encourage she did not encourage breastfeeding, but she.

826
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 5: Was like, if she's not eating enoughing, you need to

827
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 5: get for formula.

828
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:53,840
Speaker 3: Yeah. And you know, I like, I like you.

829
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,520
Speaker 4: Was the first out of all my friends to have kids.

830
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:59,319
Speaker 4: Nobody had children, so I had no one to lean

831
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:03,320
Speaker 4: on or like encourage me. And I was, you know,

832
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 4: you know, as you know, like when you first have

833
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:08,319
Speaker 4: a kid, you're exhausted. Sometimes you just want the easy way.

834
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 4: You're just like, just just make this easy. And I

835
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 4: wish that there would have been someone that would have

836
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:15,440
Speaker 4: been like, no, like this is so important, like you

837
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 4: should try to like there's there's other options.

838
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:21,759
Speaker 5: Yeah, because I I I probably would have kept on.

839
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 5: I probably would have kept one with that.

840
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 4: And but researching black breastfeeding by it was like, wow,

841
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:30,000
Speaker 4: it's so true. You don't really see black women. You

842
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 4: don't really see a lot of images of women breastfeeding.

843
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 4: It's usually white women or or like even just like

844
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 4: women in other in other countries, like brown women or

845
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,720
Speaker 4: and if you don't see those things, then.

846
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 3: You don't know.

847
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:45,440
Speaker 6: It's like it's not familiar to you.

848
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,320
Speaker 7: It's forign and you know, I even even like I

849
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 7: I was always I had some pretty hippie friends that

850
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:54,120
Speaker 7: I met in Atlanta when I was living in the

851
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:56,840
Speaker 7: West since and she had humburgs and breastfed for a

852
00:41:56,880 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 7: really long time so luckily I had that my pissy's

853
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:05,759
Speaker 7: friend actually supports system and that guidance. But I was

854
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 7: I gonna say, shit, Damna, they encourage me to breastfeed.

855
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:11,520
Speaker 3: Oh.

856
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:14,839
Speaker 7: But when I've really first discovered like Black Breastfeeding Week

857
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 7: and I start looking into it, like when I when

858
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:19,359
Speaker 7: Lena was smaller, when I first had her, a lot

859
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 7: of my white friends because most of my friends aren't

860
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 7: black out here, and it's like they had questions like

861
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 7: why it have to be Black Breastfeeding Week or what

862
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 7: what does that mean? Like, you know, white people get

863
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 7: touchy over black stuff for no reason because they just

864
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 7: it seems.

865
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 5: Like you're separating yourself.

866
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 6: Right, But like, welcome to my world, my whole life.

867
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:49,279
Speaker 7: But even like in that, I had to really dig

868
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,719
Speaker 7: deeper and realize that there is a difference in you know,

869
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:55,759
Speaker 7: how doctors push it for us and for them and

870
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 7: the images we see and how much subliminally that plays into.

871
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:02,680
Speaker 3: Our you know, are are? You know are like how

872
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 3: how motivated we are to try And.

873
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 5: The history of the history of black breastfeeding is so

874
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:09,880
Speaker 5: interesting too.

875
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:14,760
Speaker 3: And I setting an interviews being that very thing about

876
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,399
Speaker 3: because you know what a blog called Black Mother's blaw.

877
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 8: That is definitely a touchy topic.

878
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,880
Speaker 3: And I've been called racist and people are like, well,

879
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:24,560
Speaker 3: why is this blackness? And you know, separation and it's

880
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 3: all moms, it's all rescuing, and what's the interesting about

881
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 3: it that I think when it comes to Black Breastfeeding Week,

882
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:35,399
Speaker 3: just like we celebrated, right, but it didn't come from

883
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:37,480
Speaker 3: a place of a good thing. It came from a

884
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 3: place of meeting that spread awareness. And I'm like, can

885
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 3: we just have that? Like it's not like it's a

886
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:44,239
Speaker 3: good thing that black women babies are dying more and

887
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 3: this is we're tasking. It's just the reality. It's the fact.

888
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 3: So when other you know, rights to one in particular,

889
00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:52,879
Speaker 3: they're like, well, why aren't we included in this? Well,

890
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:56,839
Speaker 3: y'all are resting your kids, y'all are as before y'all

891
00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 3: are able to do that. Like we're doing this to

892
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 3: bring awareness of the fact that we're like when did like,

893
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 3: can we have that serious?

894
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 5: Can we try to improve our community?

895
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 3: Like I realize when it comes to the work black

896
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:15,759
Speaker 3: they just they they don't like we have culture and

897
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 3: they don't feel like they do. You put black in

898
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:20,360
Speaker 3: front of anything and becomes an issue because they're Latino

899
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:23,879
Speaker 3: Mom's flaws. There's a Latina magazine, you know, they eat

900
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:27,399
Speaker 3: Chinese food, they celebrate single to mayo, and they don't

901
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 3: have problems with that. They're not like, why do these

902
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 3: Mexicans get to drink for Sinco and we are included

903
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 3: in that. They have an issue with the word black,

904
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:38,560
Speaker 3: and it's because we don't have culture to this. They

905
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:40,839
Speaker 3: don't realize that the way that we do things are

906
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:44,239
Speaker 3: different in our households, our hair days, the food that

907
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:46,960
Speaker 3: we eat, the way that we relate to each other.

908
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,360
Speaker 3: They just don't see a kind of culture. So they

909
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,799
Speaker 3: look at it like, when you want to be Americans,

910
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 3: you're American. Assimilates how we do things.

911
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 9: We're all one.

912
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:59,080
Speaker 3: But in reality it's okay to accept and appreciate our differences.

913
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 3: But we're the only group of people that they don't

914
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 3: like to do that for that is so true. So

915
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:07,719
Speaker 3: nobody's attacking Latino Magazine and wondering why they don't feat

916
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:10,040
Speaker 3: your white women, but they're definitely attacking black mom's blogs

917
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:12,439
Speaker 3: because we seat your black women. And on the foot

918
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,839
Speaker 3: side of that would always say, you go to these

919
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 3: websites and even if you don't go to a mom website,

920
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 3: like I remember I typed in. I think if you

921
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 3: go to Google and you type in anything that has

922
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:25,880
Speaker 3: to do with a person, Like let's say we type in,

923
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 3: you know, you're going to a garden party, you're looking

924
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:31,320
Speaker 3: for an outfit, and you go on Google and you

925
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 3: type in garden party outfits and you scroll through, all

926
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:36,239
Speaker 3: you're gonna see is the white women, right, And that's

927
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,600
Speaker 3: hard for black women, like because the way that things

928
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 3: fit us start the same. The colors aren't gonna be

929
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 3: the same, so there's very little reference for us. And

930
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:45,359
Speaker 3: that was a big part of it for me when

931
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:47,439
Speaker 3: I would get on Instagram and I'd look for certain things.

932
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 3: If I type in like I need a bath time photo,

933
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 3: so I type in bath popping up with people with

934
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,920
Speaker 3: the white kids, and white people don't realize that because

935
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 3: it's normal for them. They're using seeing themselves. It's not.

936
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:02,839
Speaker 3: It's not it's not exclusive for us, right, So it's

937
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 3: just the black.

938
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:07,720
Speaker 4: That they have the issue with or black So speaking

939
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:10,320
Speaker 4: of that, like I was, I am curious about, you know,

940
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 4: the reaction to your blog and your Instagram, Like, do

941
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:16,520
Speaker 4: you do you get a lot of hate mail or

942
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:19,719
Speaker 4: d ms on the regular like I'm assuming that, I'm

943
00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:20,160
Speaker 4: assuming the.

944
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:23,160
Speaker 5: Answer is yes, and like do you do you respond?

945
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 5: How do you deal with that?

946
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 3: So I don't think it's much as that you see there.

947
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:29,879
Speaker 3: They come up every now and again. I don't want

948
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 3: to make this thing like every week we get hate mail,

949
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,200
Speaker 3: because it's not. We don't. We don't get a lot

950
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:37,919
Speaker 3: of hate mails, but their occasions when yeah, I'll stay

951
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,239
Speaker 3: in a month's time, I might get approached two to

952
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:43,480
Speaker 3: three times by that person that either calls us racist

953
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 3: or question the purpose behind what we do. And I

954
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:52,279
Speaker 3: honestly trying to explain it to me because I wasn't

955
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:54,320
Speaker 3: to understand like if you come to me and you

956
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,239
Speaker 3: say she needs to be a racist for creating black

957
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 3: Mom's blog, or you ask me, I'm not gonna be like,

958
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 3: yeah I am racist. No it's not. And so I

959
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:04,359
Speaker 3: really kind of break it down and explain to them

960
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 3: why this exists, and I give them, I give them homework.

961
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:08,959
Speaker 3: I'm like, hey, if you really want to know the answer,

962
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 3: I'll give you an answer, and I expect you to

963
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 3: do these steps to and come back to me and

964
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 3: let me know what you think. And so one of

965
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:18,319
Speaker 3: the experiments when I give is definitely that experiment. I'll say, hey,

966
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 3: I want you to go on Google and I want

967
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 3: you to type in it in something of your day

968
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 3: with like I'll let YouTube, so I don't want you

969
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 3: to think that I'll do plans it, you know, and

970
00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 3: I want you to scroll for two or three minutes

971
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:29,920
Speaker 3: to tell me how many black people you come across.

972
00:47:30,239 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 3: That's one of the things i'll tell them to The

973
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:33,759
Speaker 3: second thing I'll do is I'll tell them to turn

974
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:35,360
Speaker 3: on their TV and watch it for ten minutes and

975
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 3: tell me how many black people they feel on their television.

976
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,279
Speaker 3: And so I'll give them a little assignments and I'll say, hey,

977
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 3: this is why we exit, and because the world is

978
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:46,040
Speaker 3: so exclusive to you that you don't even realize how

979
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:48,680
Speaker 3: many black people you aren't seeing. How many TV shows

980
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 3: you watch where there's only one black person, that token

981
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,919
Speaker 3: black person you don't see that you don't re see

982
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 3: a you know, mainstream TV show that all black people

983
00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:01,720
Speaker 3: and one white person. So I realized that they're ignorant

984
00:48:01,719 --> 00:48:04,040
Speaker 3: a lot of times. And when I make that effort

985
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 3: to make the explanation not put a tend, they get it.

986
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 3: There are the few who don't want to get it

987
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 3: and they just want to be angry, and for them,

988
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 3: I just there's no whole bunch flood that go. But

989
00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:16,440
Speaker 3: I really do try to explain why it is the

990
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:21,840
Speaker 3: real thing, because my goal is to show we're not

991
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 3: exclusive or we're not including anyone, And if you've ever

992
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 3: been on our website, if you've ever been to a meetup,

993
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 3: or you've ever been on our Instagram account, we don't

994
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 3: bash any other race. We're just uplifting our rate and

995
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 3: making us acceptable and accepts the other people. Which is

996
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:37,359
Speaker 3: said that that even have to happen.

997
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:42,200
Speaker 7: Yeah, it is, and it's sad that we even have

998
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 7: to think twice about it because I also read on

999
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 7: your blog there is a poor part you were saying,

1000
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 7: and when you first started this, you didn't see images

1001
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:52,720
Speaker 7: of yourself or other moms, like a lot of black moms,

1002
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:55,279
Speaker 7: and the ones that you did were like low key,

1003
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 7: like really whitewashed that you may not have even known,

1004
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 7: you know. And I thought that was interesting because there's

1005
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:06,000
Speaker 7: certain like there's certain things I want, like we're pretty prop,

1006
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:08,640
Speaker 7: we're very pro black, I mean, we're poor, you know whatever,

1007
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 7: But there there were times, first of all, we live

1008
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:15,760
Speaker 7: in the valley. We both majority have like non black friends,

1009
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,320
Speaker 7: and we have a mixture of friends. But I remember

1010
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 7: like our first episode or first like there was you

1011
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:24,719
Speaker 7: know a lot of people, even my black friend was like,

1012
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:27,959
Speaker 7: be careful saying this, or be careful saying now, because

1013
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:29,760
Speaker 7: you don't want to limit your audience.

1014
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:31,360
Speaker 6: You don't want to exclude anybody.

1015
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 7: And I had we had to think about it, and

1016
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:37,480
Speaker 7: even certain posts like things I feel passionately about, I

1017
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 7: find myself like you know, like not second guessing, but

1018
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 7: like considering like people's feelings in.

1019
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 6: That sense, like what made you like to f it?

1020
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 3: Now?

1021
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 7: Yeah, fuck it, fuck it, I'm not going to be

1022
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 7: on the I'm not going to be on the line here.

1023
00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:55,960
Speaker 7: I'm going to be as black as I want to be.

1024
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 6: It's my ship.

1025
00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:59,400
Speaker 3: And because there are very.

1026
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 7: Whitewashed black mom blockers that are not as vocal about

1027
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 7: the struggles and the obstacles of actually being a black mom,

1028
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:09,840
Speaker 7: so what like, yeah, you know, what was your motivation?

1029
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 6: And you know, even to this day until now, I don't.

1030
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:16,840
Speaker 5: Even know I would say that whitewash. But they're also scared.

1031
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, well it doesn't mean like they're scared.

1032
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 5: They're just scared.

1033
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:23,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I would definitely say exactly what you just said.

1034
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 3: Before I ran Black Mom's, I had a skincare line

1035
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 3: here in Atlanta. It was called Yeo Mechanics, and Yao

1036
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:34,080
Speaker 3: means mother and Kahili, right, and that Kink Caroline was

1037
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 3: not necessarily supposed to be this all only black skincare line,

1038
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 3: but because I am African American, a lot of my

1039
00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 3: customers were African American. So when I started to market

1040
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 3: an advertise, I realized a lot of my people were

1041
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:46,400
Speaker 3: black holm there, right, And it was skincare, so it

1042
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:48,279
Speaker 3: wasn't like this thing that had anything to do with

1043
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:52,520
Speaker 3: black people. It was just you know, chap body, butter body, scrubs,

1044
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:55,320
Speaker 3: these different things. And so as the brand started to

1045
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 3: get more popular, I got kicked up by a really

1046
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 3: big store here in Atlanta. And the first thing they

1047
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:02,279
Speaker 3: said it was, well, your product seem like they're only

1048
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:06,239
Speaker 3: marketed towards black people. And I was like, oh, And

1049
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:09,640
Speaker 3: so the woman wanted me to change my packaging because

1050
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 3: the logo was a it was actually a monogram image

1051
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:15,400
Speaker 3: of myself, and monogram, you know, that means that it

1052
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:17,799
Speaker 3: was just one solid color but my hair was up,

1053
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 3: so it was black people's in the fun and she

1054
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:21,360
Speaker 3: was like, that just looks like it's only for black people.

1055
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:21,719
Speaker 4: Wow.

1056
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 3: And I remember being so conflicted because I was like, ouh, you.

1057
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:27,920
Speaker 6: Know, it's my line.

1058
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:28,440
Speaker 9: It's me.

1059
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 3: I'm not a yeah. And I was like I had

1060
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 3: followed all of these white companies that brand skincare line

1061
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:40,400
Speaker 3: and they rarely had black advertisements in their in their platforms,

1062
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:42,880
Speaker 3: and they didn't care. People still bought from them, it

1063
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:46,279
Speaker 3: was not a problem. And I felt like I was like,

1064
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 3: I have to change my line to conform to the thing.

1065
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,799
Speaker 3: And I felt so guilty about that because I did

1066
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 3: end up changing my packaging and myself did go up.

1067
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,440
Speaker 3: Those things did happen, but it is when you run

1068
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:59,319
Speaker 3: a black owned business, it's like extra pressure to make sure.

1069
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:02,840
Speaker 3: I highly doubt that white people they're becoming more conscious

1070
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 3: of it now, but they went years and years without

1071
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:07,600
Speaker 3: ever hearing about whether or not they had black people

1072
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:09,960
Speaker 3: in the advertisingness because they knew we would buy some

1073
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 3: in regardless. Now that avertiol right, And so that experience

1074
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:20,879
Speaker 3: really shaped my blog because I'm a very pro black

1075
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:23,080
Speaker 3: person and I was like, I'm tired of having to

1076
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,160
Speaker 3: be like, oh, the same for you. No, this is

1077
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:28,279
Speaker 3: for black mothers, and we have many people that are

1078
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 3: part of it. We have other racists. We had white

1079
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 3: women that are meet up on Sunday. It's not exclusive

1080
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:35,759
Speaker 3: to where they can't attend. They can definitely come. But

1081
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,319
Speaker 3: this is for black women, and I wanted to make

1082
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 3: that known off top Black mom Blog. There's no confusion.

1083
00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 3: I don't care how you feel about it. This is

1084
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:46,560
Speaker 3: not for you if you have a problem for it.

1085
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:49,840
Speaker 3: And I wanted to be very unapologetic about that because

1086
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:52,800
Speaker 3: of exactly what she just say. We're constantly in that

1087
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:55,359
Speaker 3: position to have to consider them and they're just now

1088
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:56,440
Speaker 3: starting to consider us.

1089
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:01,080
Speaker 6: Hey man, you said that's so eloquent.

1090
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:07,400
Speaker 4: You did you did so because you are you have

1091
00:53:07,520 --> 00:53:11,080
Speaker 4: this platform, and you have a daughter, and you know

1092
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:15,279
Speaker 4: you you walk through this life as a black woman,

1093
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:17,000
Speaker 4: and you have you deal with the struggles of every

1094
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 4: of a black woman in this life. How do you

1095
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:24,759
Speaker 4: how do you prepare your daughter for you know, just

1096
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 4: just the things that she's gonna encounter in life, you

1097
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:31,640
Speaker 4: know what I mean? Like our daughters are three, so

1098
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:35,280
Speaker 4: you know they're just starting into their journey in school

1099
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:42,560
Speaker 4: and socialization and really understanding that even just skin color

1100
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:45,719
Speaker 4: and what that what it means, and what it doesn't mean.

1101
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 4: How what are what are tools or what lessons are

1102
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 4: you teaching your daughter to kind of prepare her for

1103
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:54,759
Speaker 4: the world we live in.

1104
00:53:57,480 --> 00:54:00,239
Speaker 3: That's question because I think it acts at all like

1105
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 3: I've met moms and they're like my daughter's five, and

1106
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 3: I've never talked to her about the skin color. And

1107
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,080
Speaker 3: one thing that my heads and I do really well

1108
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 3: on is that he's a jazz musician, and you know,

1109
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 3: jazz is very black. We've always been very vocal with

1110
00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:20,960
Speaker 3: her about who she is, what she represents, her hair,

1111
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:25,960
Speaker 3: you know, thinks that she should love her surroundings. And

1112
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:30,080
Speaker 3: so Cameron knows about different colors. She knows that people

1113
00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:32,359
Speaker 3: come from different parts of the world. She knows when

1114
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 3: she's in a room when she's the only black person,

1115
00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:36,000
Speaker 3: Like I just wrote an article about her being the

1116
00:54:36,040 --> 00:54:38,080
Speaker 3: only to the black girl in her school. I mean

1117
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 3: I have the school, but in her classroom, she's the

1118
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:42,520
Speaker 3: only black person in her classroom. And we have very

1119
00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:46,200
Speaker 3: lengthy discussions with her daily about that. And it's so

1120
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:49,480
Speaker 3: funny because I didn't want to see her my opinions.

1121
00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:50,719
Speaker 3: So I asked her, was like, how do you feel

1122
00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:52,799
Speaker 3: about school? And you know, what do you think about

1123
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 3: your classmates? And you know, so on and so forth.

1124
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:56,880
Speaker 3: And one of the first things she says to me,

1125
00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:58,160
Speaker 3: she goes, there's a lot of white people.

1126
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:02,359
Speaker 9: And she's five, because you know, there's a lot.

1127
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 3: Of white people. And she said something that really kind

1128
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:08,879
Speaker 3: of it made me reevaluate some things that she goes,

1129
00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:10,719
Speaker 3: you know, my old school, there are a lot of

1130
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 3: people that look like me, that were my color. She

1131
00:55:12,719 --> 00:55:15,200
Speaker 3: like cuts her arm and she goes, those are my friends.

1132
00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:16,799
Speaker 3: And we would see each other and we say friend

1133
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:18,800
Speaker 3: twin because we looked the same. And she was like,

1134
00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:22,400
Speaker 3: those people aren't at my school anymore. And as a parent, oh,

1135
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:26,279
Speaker 3: she broke my heart. Can hear her say that? And

1136
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:27,799
Speaker 3: so I asked her, I said, you want to change

1137
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:30,440
Speaker 3: classrooms because there's something you want us to do to

1138
00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:33,400
Speaker 3: make this better. And she goes, no, you know, And

1139
00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:38,759
Speaker 3: I'm very communicative with my daughter, and so for me,

1140
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:41,399
Speaker 3: because we're in that situation, I look at it two

1141
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:44,040
Speaker 3: ways because most people like I would never put my

1142
00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:46,480
Speaker 3: child in that situation, and you know, I would never

1143
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:49,440
Speaker 3: see that I think is that she's learning lesson very

1144
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:52,840
Speaker 3: early about America. There are situations that you're going to

1145
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:55,880
Speaker 3: be in where you're the only black girl. Also, I

1146
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:59,960
Speaker 3: do believe in letting for see other cultures. I don't

1147
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,520
Speaker 3: think you give me pro black and not understand other cultures,

1148
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:06,280
Speaker 3: you know. So that's pretty good. And outside of school,

1149
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:09,759
Speaker 3: it's my responsibility to constantly see her her culture of

1150
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:11,960
Speaker 3: who she is. So all of her dolls are black,

1151
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:14,440
Speaker 3: her books are black, the friends that she has, the

1152
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:17,640
Speaker 3: things that surround ourselves with. There's a heavy influence on

1153
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:22,399
Speaker 3: African American culture. And we're the only people that think

1154
00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:26,279
Speaker 3: something's wrong with that. And I'll give the example. We

1155
00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:28,759
Speaker 3: had a say date last week with her friend in

1156
00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:33,719
Speaker 3: Korean and on Saturdays, his mother and his father takes

1157
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:36,480
Speaker 3: him to Korean school with a four hour flat on

1158
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:42,240
Speaker 3: the Saturday, and in that course they talk about Korean language, tradition,

1159
00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:46,279
Speaker 3: dance culture, and nobody believes nine. But when you say

1160
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:48,640
Speaker 3: I have to surround myself my child's with their culture,

1161
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:51,160
Speaker 3: people are like, oh my god, you're still racist. It's

1162
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 3: just the word black. So we're constantly working with her

1163
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 3: outside of the school to make sure that she knows

1164
00:56:57,640 --> 00:56:58,080
Speaker 3: who she is.

1165
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:00,600
Speaker 7: Damn that's true. I know how friends that went to

1166
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:04,040
Speaker 7: Hebrew school. Hell of friends that like that have like

1167
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:08,239
Speaker 7: separate things. My neighbor's kids go to Russian school on

1168
00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 7: the weekends, and you're al I never even thought about

1169
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:14,359
Speaker 7: it in that that those terms, but damn, that's that's

1170
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:15,080
Speaker 7: super true.

1171
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was thinking of I saw that post on

1172
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:19,919
Speaker 4: your blog about your daughter going to being the only

1173
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:25,000
Speaker 4: black girl in her class, and I felt part of

1174
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:28,000
Speaker 4: me was like, hmm, I wonder like if if she

1175
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:30,400
Speaker 4: if because like for me, when I when my daughter

1176
00:57:30,520 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 4: starting school, she started summer camp and she's starting school,

1177
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 4: it was very important to me that she goes to

1178
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 4: a diverse school, Like it was I basically any time

1179
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:42,040
Speaker 4: I walked into a school when I was touring schools

1180
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 4: and I saw all.

1181
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:45,080
Speaker 5: White kids, I was like, Nope, this isn't the one. Nope,

1182
00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:45,480
Speaker 5: this is one.

1183
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:47,640
Speaker 4: Took me a long time to find one, especially where

1184
00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 4: we live, because where we live it is diverse, but

1185
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 4: there just are a lot of white kids.

1186
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:52,760
Speaker 3: It's not like shit.

1187
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 6: Me Erco grew up and I'm sure you were one

1188
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:54,960
Speaker 6: of three.

1189
00:57:55,280 --> 00:57:57,920
Speaker 4: I was the only black girl in my whole high school. Yeah,

1190
00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:00,480
Speaker 4: my whole high school, my whole in my grade in high.

1191
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:02,920
Speaker 6: School, all four years, there was through like four black.

1192
00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:04,760
Speaker 5: People at my Oh actually there was two. There was

1193
00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:05,680
Speaker 5: me and one other girl.

1194
00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:09,120
Speaker 6: Oh okay, okay, just back up, get off the chair.

1195
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:11,280
Speaker 4: Now.

1196
00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:14,080
Speaker 7: Erica's has a highly as highly scared of bugs and

1197
00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:16,360
Speaker 7: every time we record one attacks.

1198
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 3: Or relax, it's just a spider.

1199
00:58:18,480 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 6: We're gonna sew it.

1200
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:19,560
Speaker 3: Oh it's fun.

1201
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 5: Okay, sorry. But when I saw your blog, I wondered.

1202
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:28,480
Speaker 4: I was like, I wonder if she did that intentionally,

1203
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 4: because yes, we do, we are going to have to

1204
00:58:32,920 --> 00:58:34,800
Speaker 4: when we do walk. We can protect our kids as

1205
00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:36,400
Speaker 4: much as we want, but we do have to prepare,

1206
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:38,440
Speaker 4: prepare them for the real world. Or if it was

1207
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:41,480
Speaker 4: just done by chance, or if you did research the

1208
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:43,560
Speaker 4: school beforehand, or how that, how.

1209
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:47,040
Speaker 5: That came to be? I mean, obviously you can't. You know,

1210
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:50,640
Speaker 5: your daughter's five, so when she's an issue, what's that preschool? Kindergarten?

1211
00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:53,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, so you don't always know how the classes are

1212
00:58:53,800 --> 00:58:55,040
Speaker 4: going to fall, like well, who's going to be in

1213
00:58:55,120 --> 00:58:58,800
Speaker 4: what class? And in that way too, But I thought

1214
00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:01,440
Speaker 4: about that like and and me as a kid growing up,

1215
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:05,200
Speaker 4: like I was in school, I had semi diverse school

1216
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:08,880
Speaker 4: experience once. I well, middle school was all white and Jewish,

1217
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:12,320
Speaker 4: all white and Jewish, and then high school there was

1218
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:15,200
Speaker 4: a few black It was mostly black boys because they

1219
00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:19,480
Speaker 4: were athletes, and then me and one other girl in

1220
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:24,440
Speaker 4: her class, and it definitely definitely affected me. Definitely affected me,

1221
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:27,560
Speaker 4: especially because I was raised by my mom is a Latina,

1222
00:59:28,040 --> 00:59:31,280
Speaker 4: and you know, she wasn't she wasn't like pushing black

1223
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:34,200
Speaker 4: images in front of me. I was seeking them, like

1224
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 4: I was gravitating towards people.

1225
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 5: Like I'm like, oh my god, where do you live?

1226
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:38,240
Speaker 5: Can I come to see?

1227
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:38,800
Speaker 3: I come?

1228
00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:40,680
Speaker 5: And I was like, maybe my mom drive me to

1229
00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:42,560
Speaker 5: like a Fox sales Mom. She's like, why the fuck

1230
00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:44,439
Speaker 5: you want to go to Fox Sales mom, because there's

1231
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:45,400
Speaker 5: people that look like me there.

1232
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:47,680
Speaker 6: Dropped me off back in five hours by.

1233
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:49,880
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1234
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:52,080
Speaker 3: That's living in Atlanta, right.

1235
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 9: The thing is the building that I live in.

1236
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:57,280
Speaker 3: I've lived here on and off for your new ten years,

1237
00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:02,000
Speaker 3: and that here before I had my daughter, and the

1238
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:04,680
Speaker 3: school because we live in the city, and I'll tip

1239
01:00:04,760 --> 01:00:06,800
Speaker 3: a fire and say that Atlanta school systems are horrible.

1240
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:09,760
Speaker 3: We have a horpal school system here and the area

1241
01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:13,200
Speaker 3: that we live in rezone, cannot attend schools, right, and

1242
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:15,160
Speaker 3: because we live in Atlanta, I know, it never crossed

1243
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:17,240
Speaker 3: my mind that her school might not have black people.

1244
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:20,520
Speaker 7: I I'm shocked actually when you said that, I was

1245
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:24,720
Speaker 7: a damn really right, So that wasn't It wasn't.

1246
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 3: I didn't think about that. I was like, oh, were

1247
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:28,000
Speaker 3: living in Atlanta, of course those were black kids there.

1248
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:31,480
Speaker 3: I just was more so concerned about her going to

1249
01:00:31,520 --> 01:00:34,800
Speaker 3: a good school. And it wasn't the purposeful thing as

1250
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:36,920
Speaker 3: we had lived here for a long time, still live here,

1251
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:40,440
Speaker 3: we can come pick her up. I just thought it

1252
01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 3: super conveyent, and she was at a great school, great opportunity,

1253
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:46,280
Speaker 3: like her elementary school has an engineering club. You know

1254
01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:50,040
Speaker 3: what I meant was great. And so I didn't find

1255
01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:52,320
Speaker 3: out that it was completely white until we went to

1256
01:00:52,400 --> 01:00:56,160
Speaker 3: orientation because you can tour the school, but a lot

1257
01:00:56,200 --> 01:00:58,000
Speaker 3: of times the poor houses over the summer, the kids

1258
01:00:58,040 --> 01:01:00,920
Speaker 3: aren't really there. The teachers, the office that black. That

1259
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:03,160
Speaker 3: was great. But when we went to orientation the day

1260
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:05,760
Speaker 3: before school and I'm starting in the classroom, I'm looking,

1261
01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:08,360
Speaker 3: I'm like, there's twenty three students and I was like, whoa,

1262
01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:11,640
Speaker 3: there was an Indian student, an Asian student, a biracial student,

1263
01:01:11,680 --> 01:01:14,480
Speaker 3: and my daughter and the other nineteen students were Caucasian,

1264
01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:18,680
Speaker 3: and so yeah, it was definitely the shock for me.

1265
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:21,120
Speaker 3: And I kind of grew up in a similar situation

1266
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:23,480
Speaker 3: where the schools I went to I had both the

1267
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:26,200
Speaker 3: parents in the elementary school. One school I went to

1268
01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:28,280
Speaker 3: was completely white. There were a couple of black people,

1269
01:01:28,360 --> 01:01:30,240
Speaker 3: but there weren't a lot. And then I looked on

1270
01:01:30,280 --> 01:01:33,479
Speaker 3: an all black and my thing worked for my daughter.

1271
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:37,680
Speaker 3: I needed her to get a good education, and a

1272
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:42,560
Speaker 3: lot of problems is that they are diverse. They do

1273
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:44,920
Speaker 3: have people that look like our kids, but they don't

1274
01:01:44,960 --> 01:01:48,960
Speaker 3: have the same resources. The more fluent school JEF right,

1275
01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:51,920
Speaker 3: and so you have to pick between a good education

1276
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:52,800
Speaker 3: and diversity.

1277
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:55,680
Speaker 8: And what I remember is when I was growing up,

1278
01:01:55,960 --> 01:01:56,200
Speaker 8: when I.

1279
01:01:56,240 --> 01:01:58,760
Speaker 3: Think about the school that was mostly white, there were moments,

1280
01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 3: yeah when I felt some kind of right. But we

1281
01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:05,120
Speaker 3: went on field trips, everything was great, My teacher was nice,

1282
01:02:05,520 --> 01:02:08,640
Speaker 3: you know, I remember those things that blackol My teacher

1283
01:02:08,760 --> 01:02:10,840
Speaker 3: was more stressed out. The kids, some of them had

1284
01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:14,720
Speaker 3: more behavioral issues which affected the learning overall. And so

1285
01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:18,960
Speaker 3: it's definitely been conflicting trying to figure out what did

1286
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:22,840
Speaker 3: you do between diversity or good education?

1287
01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:27,960
Speaker 8: And of all places like Atlanta the pent Areas, there

1288
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:29,120
Speaker 8: aren't a lot of black families.

1289
01:02:29,680 --> 01:02:30,760
Speaker 3: You know, that sucks.

1290
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:38,080
Speaker 5: That's so surprising. Yeah, well that's really interesting.

1291
01:02:38,200 --> 01:02:42,600
Speaker 4: Yeah for sharing that because I think a lot of

1292
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:44,680
Speaker 4: I think a lot of our listeners can probably relate

1293
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:47,600
Speaker 4: to that. I know I can for sure trying to

1294
01:02:47,720 --> 01:02:51,160
Speaker 4: decide between diversity and the education that you're going to get.

1295
01:02:51,560 --> 01:02:54,400
Speaker 4: And unfortunately there's always who you kind of have to

1296
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:58,440
Speaker 4: pick a side, but not always, but it's a it's

1297
01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:00,640
Speaker 4: an issue that comes up constantly lean and I think

1298
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:04,200
Speaker 4: me and Mila with our kids starting to enter into school,

1299
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:06,800
Speaker 4: it's something that you definitely have to take into consideration.

1300
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:15,920
Speaker 4: And unfortunately, unfortunately, do you have any more questions?

1301
01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 3: No, that was really good.

1302
01:03:17,720 --> 01:03:19,920
Speaker 6: Thank you so much for taking time out of your

1303
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 6: day to day to talk to us and to.

1304
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:24,920
Speaker 3: Share your story.

1305
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 6: We so appreciate you.

1306
01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:27,640
Speaker 3: Yes.

1307
01:03:29,120 --> 01:03:31,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, and just again for our listeners, make sure you

1308
01:03:31,880 --> 01:03:35,520
Speaker 4: follow Shinisia on app at black Mom's Blog.

1309
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:38,040
Speaker 5: And what's your website? Is it just black Moms blog

1310
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:38,480
Speaker 5: dot com?

1311
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:42,880
Speaker 3: Right? Yeah, black blog? What's you're hearing?

1312
01:03:42,920 --> 01:03:45,040
Speaker 6: Your photography well, your photography.

1313
01:03:44,960 --> 01:03:50,760
Speaker 3: What's your photography page is yao dot photography E y

1314
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:55,320
Speaker 3: oh dot photography and I'm working on the website. But

1315
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:56,920
Speaker 3: the website is Gaophotography.

1316
01:03:57,360 --> 01:04:01,800
Speaker 7: Moms do so nice to meet you, and we are

1317
01:04:01,840 --> 01:04:04,000
Speaker 7: coming to Atlanta soon and if we don't come there first,

1318
01:04:04,560 --> 01:04:07,320
Speaker 7: definitely let us know about your meet up in LA

1319
01:04:07,440 --> 01:04:08,440
Speaker 7: because we're coming.

1320
01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:09,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, we would love to go.

1321
01:04:10,720 --> 01:04:13,520
Speaker 3: That would be awesome. Thank you for having lad. Thank you.

1322
01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:15,680
Speaker 5: Okay, guys, we'll see you guys next week.

1323
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:18,120
Speaker 4: Make sure you follow us at Good Mom's Bad Choices

1324
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:20,080
Speaker 4: and we'll see later.

1325
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:22,400
Speaker 3: Bad by Hie.

1326
01:04:29,040 --> 01:04:34,160
Speaker 1: Can only get better from you. Control. I got it,

1327
01:04:38,680 --> 01:04:39,640
Speaker 1: I gotchall have

1328
01:05:00,360 --> 01:05:02,360
Speaker 3: Staf Is body