Speaker 1: Hell with Dean, Vanessa and Jared and I Heart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 1: Hello everyone, thank you for joining us on another episode
Speaker 1: of Help I Suck At Dating. I'm Dean Angler. No
Speaker 1: one in studio at least the typical co host Jared
Speaker 1: and Vanessa are not in studio today, but I am
Speaker 1: joined by some friends. And if you guys want to
Speaker 1: say hi real quick, do you mind Erica and Tory
Speaker 1: baby and Eastern needs no interaction apparently, he says hey, uh.
Speaker 1: And on the phone, we have Jared who is out
Speaker 1: of town currently, but in the spirit of this podcast,
Speaker 1: which we typically do, we love having one host call in.
Speaker 1: So Jared are there. Oh, I'm out here currently much.
Speaker 1: How you guys doing. We're doing well? How are you?
Speaker 1: Where are you? We are currently in Westerly, Rhode Islands,
Speaker 1: and we are currently at the We're we're What we're
Speaker 1: doing is we're wedding venue shopping. I'm wedding venue shopping
Speaker 1: with Aster now. Right now we're at Ocean House, which
Speaker 1: is in watch Hill, Rhode Islands, and so we're looking
Speaker 1: at some places deciding where we want to get married.
Speaker 1: It's quite beautiful. Wait, Jared, aren't you from Rhode Island? Yes,
Speaker 1: Somebergs are from Warford Island. So we decided, actually I
Speaker 1: decided that we're probably getting get ried to Rhode Island
Speaker 1: because most of our family, My family's from Rhode Island
Speaker 1: and then her family mostly from Jersey and Northern Virginia.
Speaker 1: So it just makes sense that we get married on
Speaker 1: the East coast. And there's so many beautiful venues in
Speaker 1: Westerly and Newport and Arroganta that it just makes sense
Speaker 1: for us to get married over here. And the cool
Speaker 1: thing about ocean houses that we're currently here looking at shops,
Speaker 1: so they're letting me use a room, which is pretty awesome.
Speaker 1: So from their conference room right now, calling in on
Speaker 1: a landline and help us like a dating. But the
Speaker 1: really cool thing is that people are gonna love is
Speaker 1: that we're about oh three yards from Taylor House, Swift
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift Taylor House, Swift House. I can I can
Speaker 1: very clearly tell how excited you are because of how
Speaker 1: fast you're talking. I know, well what it is. I
Speaker 1: have actually actually sitting next to me right now, and
Speaker 1: she just keeps like yelling at me, telling me what
Speaker 1: to say, and it's really just turn acting and like flaring.
Speaker 1: She's like, no, I have a good idea. No say this,
Speaker 1: and like, actually just watch shows on your computer. Jared's professional.
Speaker 1: I think that you don't need to take her advice. Anyways,
Speaker 1: It's okay, um, okay, So you're in Rhode Island. You're
Speaker 1: you're shopping for wedding venues. I saw actually Ashley tweet out,
Speaker 1: maybe this morning or last night, that she like tweeted
Speaker 1: at Taylor swift To asking to borrow her house for
Speaker 1: the wedding. Yes, we're kind of shooting for the moon
Speaker 1: on um so yeah, she tweeted, and we're hoping to
Speaker 1: get vile and then maybe, you know, Taylor will let
Speaker 1: us borrow her house for a few hours on a
Speaker 1: beautiful Saturday next summer, where Ashley and I can get married.
Speaker 1: You know, Taylor is more than welcome to stay at
Speaker 1: the house that she wants to while all our friends
Speaker 1: and family fill it up. Just a mild inconvenience for you.
Speaker 1: I'm sure, my old little inconvenience. I'm sure she'll be
Speaker 1: fine with it. But the cool thing is is that
Speaker 1: her house would legitimately be a beautiful wedding venue. But
Speaker 1: it's been pretty cool. So we went through our first
Speaker 1: one yesterday in Newport, Rhode Island, and it's just really
Speaker 1: exciting to see, you know, where we're gonna get married
Speaker 1: or start the wedding planning process and figure, oh, we
Speaker 1: like this, but we don't like this and um, you know,
Speaker 1: we don't want to do a first look or where
Speaker 1: the reception would be and so on and so forth.
Speaker 1: Has the whole because I mean, obviously guys have been
Speaker 1: sort of planning the wedding since the engagement for some
Speaker 1: at least to some respect, has the dynamic of the
Speaker 1: relationship changed all or have you seen actually in like
Speaker 1: a different light since you've seen the whole wedding planning
Speaker 1: kind of unfold. Not really. I mean, Ashley already thrives
Speaker 1: in such like planning mode. That's where she is at
Speaker 1: her best, and so wedding planning is just no different
Speaker 1: like any charity event that we've ever had in terms of,
Speaker 1: you know, having a bachelor related one actually usually plans
Speaker 1: it and she loved doing it. So now that she's
Speaker 1: planning our wedding or helping, we also have so one
Speaker 1: of our friends, Troy Williams, he's going to be our
Speaker 1: wedding planner. He's awesome, so Astley and him have been
Speaker 1: constantly texting back and forth on this group thread that
Speaker 1: some for some reason, I'm a partup, you know. I
Speaker 1: never answer, It's just I'm pretty much just you know,
Speaker 1: nodding my being like, yeah, that sounds great, that sounds great.
Speaker 1: Sure we'll go there. Just tell me what to do,
Speaker 1: where to go, and I'll be there. Well. And I
Speaker 1: know too. One of the stories that you you like
Speaker 1: telling is the first time or I guess the moment
Speaker 1: that you knew you were in love with Ashley was
Speaker 1: when she was planning a function. I can't remember what
Speaker 1: it was, but it was on the East coast, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: So it was our first function after Bastian Paradise Season
Speaker 1: two is in October of two, and I remember actually
Speaker 1: invited myself and a lot of other people from that
Speaker 1: season to do this charity event at her house in Virginia.
Speaker 1: So it was myself and about eight other Bachelor's contestants
Speaker 1: and we flew down to Virginia and stayed at Ashley's
Speaker 1: home with her parents, And it was the first time
Speaker 1: that I saw actually outside of the Bachelor bubble in
Speaker 1: her element planning this event. Um surrounded by friends and family,
Speaker 1: just astley at her most comfortable. And then that's the
Speaker 1: one immediately knew that I was an idiot. And then
Speaker 1: I just continued being an idiot for question times because
Speaker 1: I'm a guy, and you know, guys are stupid and
Speaker 1: so but that was the first moment where I looked
Speaker 1: at her and said, uh, I'm going to marry her.
Speaker 1: And now it all comes full circle because then she's acting.
Speaker 1: She's doing the same thing, but now instead of planning
Speaker 1: that function or that event, she's planning the wedding. To you,
Speaker 1: just a funny thing. Life is such a funny thing.
Speaker 1: I'm very lucky, guys. So our love began with planning,
Speaker 1: and it will certainly not end with planning. How I
Speaker 1: do have a question will be how much how heavily
Speaker 1: involved in this planning are you? Are you basically just
Speaker 1: kind of nodding your head and saying yes to everything
Speaker 1: actually suggests? Are you weighing in with anything of your own? No,
Speaker 1: I certainly have a lot of opinions of my own
Speaker 1: want to incorporate into the wedding. But I think the
Speaker 1: most important thing is that actually dream wedding come true.
Speaker 1: So if he is really wanting something or dead sense
Speaker 1: on something. I'll compromise. I have no issues doing that.
Speaker 1: I just want, you know, certain little details it to
Speaker 1: be mine as well, like Superman cuff links, So like,
Speaker 1: is there is there a Superman be ripping open my
Speaker 1: shirt at the altar and revealing my Superman shirt that
Speaker 1: I'm wearing underneath, and then I'm going to to rip
Speaker 1: off my pants and have a full Superman with red tape. Uh,
Speaker 1: and then I will put the ring on Ashley, and
Speaker 1: then we will be attached to strings that hopefully Dean
Speaker 1: will be handling in the back and fly over everybody.
Speaker 1: And uh, that's our one story right there. And I
Speaker 1: know that you might be joking a little bit, but
Speaker 1: I hope you're not. I'm praying that you're not. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I will say. Our wedding planners sent us a picture
Speaker 1: of a wedding that he did years ago where the
Speaker 1: guy was a big superhero nerd like myself, and so
Speaker 1: him and the Brunsman all wore um superhero shirts underneath
Speaker 1: their taxes, so like one was Superman, that was pat
Speaker 1: Man in Green Lantern, and so before the wedding, like
Speaker 1: in the photos of him and his Brunsman, they all
Speaker 1: like opened up their shirt. It's actually pretty fantastic. It's
Speaker 1: something I'm really thinking about doing. Erica is shaking her
Speaker 1: head and discussed, I can't get on board with this,
Speaker 1: so I'm not marrying you. So it's okay. Actually is
Speaker 1: actually on board that, so I'm pretty lucky. But we'll see,
Speaker 1: we'll see if it happens. I kind of wanted to
Speaker 1: get a little bit more seriously, but who the hell knows.
Speaker 1: I mean, you only get one, so you might as
Speaker 1: well go all out, I know. But it is fun,
Speaker 1: I will say it is. I feel lucky to like
Speaker 1: be planning a wedding with the love of my life
Speaker 1: because it's cool because all I've heard is how stressful
Speaker 1: wedding planning is, and there is a layer of stress
Speaker 1: of making sure like talking to the people, talking money obviously,
Speaker 1: who were inviting, who were not inviting, What do you
Speaker 1: want for your wedding? What do I want? So on
Speaker 1: and so forth. But Ashley and I have we're kind
Speaker 1: of on the same page with a lot of things,
Speaker 1: and um, it's it's not that stressful as if yet.
Speaker 1: Granted we've only looked at two venues, so we're just beginning.
Speaker 1: But it's really exciting and a little surreal to think about.
Speaker 1: Oh no, this is I'm planning my wedding. It's one
Speaker 1: of those things you always wait for the day to come,
Speaker 1: and now it's here, Like I've seen two venues and
Speaker 1: this could potentially be the place that I marry my wife.
Speaker 1: Remember last week too, you said that you are considering
Speaker 1: or debating whether or not to give me a plus
Speaker 1: one to your wedding. Well, I was debating it is Dean.
Speaker 1: I think you might have more fun on your own.
Speaker 1: Your it depends. That's listen. If you are, you know,
Speaker 1: in a relationship next summer, of course they're gonna be one.
Speaker 1: But if you're singing, a lot of our friends are
Speaker 1: gonna be their mutual friends. Ben's gonna be there, Nick's
Speaker 1: gonna be there, And if everybody's sinkle, I think it
Speaker 1: might be more fun for you guys, just like go
Speaker 1: as a group. You know, it's kind of like prom
Speaker 1: where if you didn't have a date that you really liked,
Speaker 1: it's almost better just to go with a bunch of
Speaker 1: your friends and to bring somebody that you're really not
Speaker 1: sure about. And especially if Taylor Swift is gonna be there,
Speaker 1: I mean I gotta go single, dude, you have to
Speaker 1: go single. I'm telling you, she's gonna love you. We'll
Speaker 1: see um. And so you're in Rhode Island for a
Speaker 1: bachelor party, then, right, that's what that was one of
Speaker 1: the other reasons you were there. Yeah, So we flew
Speaker 1: back for a bachelor party this past weekend. My sister
Speaker 1: is getting married September, so it's her fiance's my future
Speaker 1: brother in law's bachelor party of this past weekend. We
Speaker 1: drove through a cabin in Maine. It was like twelve
Speaker 1: of his bodies and just just chilled up there Friday
Speaker 1: and Saturday, um, and then you're back Sunday. It was
Speaker 1: a very relaxed bachelor party. We just stayed in, play
Speaker 1: beer pong, played uh you know, yard games, drying, hung out,
Speaker 1: went to a brewery and the now was there. Really it.
Speaker 1: So it was a bachelor party that I liked because
Speaker 1: I'm not a big I'm not a guy who goes
Speaker 1: out a lot. But it made me think about my
Speaker 1: own bachelor party and what I want. And so this
Speaker 1: might sound really lame. If people are probably gonna hate me,
Speaker 1: guarantee's gonna sound lame. That's not surprising to any of us. Dude,
Speaker 1: I kind of wanted Jack and Jail bachelor and bachelor
Speaker 1: party like because the whole weekend we were hanging out
Speaker 1: and even some of the other guys were saying how
Speaker 1: they missed their fiance, their wife and they have kids
Speaker 1: and it just becomes so chaotic, and I was thinking
Speaker 1: to myself, Yeah, I think this would be more fun,
Speaker 1: and if all our significant others were here, we're all
Speaker 1: just kind of hanging out. Granted, we couldn't like you know,
Speaker 1: quote unquote grow out if our girls are there. But
Speaker 1: having said that, I don't know, there's something cool about
Speaker 1: being a Jack and Jail bachelor and bachelor party and
Speaker 1: nationally agree. So I don't know if we're gonna do
Speaker 1: it or not, but that's kind of the director we're headed.
Speaker 1: You could do too, theoretically, right, maybe what Jack and
Speaker 1: Jill well to, like, you'd have like a Jack and
Speaker 1: Jail and then like your regular bachelor party where you
Speaker 1: just invite a bunch of guys and drink beer and
Speaker 1: far around each other and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: You know, Like what that's true? I will say it
Speaker 1: was like to just get away with a couple of
Speaker 1: guys hang out and then like you know, like that
Speaker 1: just like and not feel not feel judged, because like
Speaker 1: I feel like every time they laugh at a poop
Speaker 1: joke and I'm like, listen, I could be funny. Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, what we're thinking for a a bachelor bachelor at party,
Speaker 1: or at least my bachelor parties, I'm thinking one night.
Speaker 1: I think that's that's like a good amount. Like everybody
Speaker 1: gets together hangs out. We'd go out and we need
Speaker 1: to go out one night, or we like rent a
Speaker 1: place out and all staying and drink and have fun.
Speaker 1: And then the next day, like maybe how hang out
Speaker 1: for like a day portion and then that's really it.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'd make a big weekend of it,
Speaker 1: but that's also just me like people are different in
Speaker 1: their own way and people want their own things. Like
Speaker 1: what would you do, Dean Dean if you were getting
Speaker 1: married and you had a bachelor party that you had
Speaker 1: to plan, would you do like the whole weekend thing?
Speaker 1: Would you just do? Guys? Would you want to Jack
Speaker 1: and Jill? I mean, I have no idea. It's it's
Speaker 1: so far removed from my I guess memory or not
Speaker 1: even memory. It's so far removed from any remo possibilities,
Speaker 1: so I haven't really thought about too much. But I
Speaker 1: will say, you were almost married to Rachel. What do
Speaker 1: you talk about you haven't thought about. It's a great point.
Speaker 1: I'm not a big fan of like strip clubs or
Speaker 1: anything like that, so I don't really foresee that being
Speaker 1: part of it, although it's like kind of I don't know,
Speaker 1: I feel like that's like the norm these days is
Speaker 1: like you go with your boys to a strip club
Speaker 1: and get super wasted and then you I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's always sounds kind of cheap and cheesy. I hate
Speaker 1: them so much. I've been to you in my life,
Speaker 1: but I've always feel super uncomfortable whenever I'm there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and no matter how much alcohol is involved, I could
Speaker 1: be super drunk and still just be like, I just
Speaker 1: feel gross and disgusting in here. I need to get out.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. What do you think as a female?
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts disgusting girls that like them? I
Speaker 1: know I'm not into it. Also, I'm just glad that,
Speaker 1: like my boyfriend says, he's like, I've never been to one.
Speaker 1: I have no intention of going to one, and I'm
Speaker 1: like that rocks. I mean I've been to one, don't
Speaker 1: get me wrong, but you just didn't enjoy it. No.
Speaker 1: I've probably been two or three times in my entire life.
Speaker 1: Did you participate? No, I've never got a dance, and
Speaker 1: I just always like sit there uncomfortably awkward, like in
Speaker 1: a little shell, and don't really do anything. I went
Speaker 1: when I was sixteen. Oh, sorry, Jared. I went to
Speaker 1: the Crazy Horse in San Francisco, and I thought they
Speaker 1: were gonna check my I d and they did not.
Speaker 1: I was with some friends that were older, and uh.
Speaker 1: I remember staying in the audience and this um young
Speaker 1: lady came up and asked me if I wanted to dance,
Speaker 1: and I thought she meant dance, like, you know, like
Speaker 1: just then a dance. I'm waving my arms back and forth. Um,
Speaker 1: and she would be to a private room. Oh, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, how much is this gonna cost me? And
Speaker 1: she she broke it down. I pulled out the last
Speaker 1: twenty dollars in my bank account. That was sixteen, anybody,
Speaker 1: and I gotta. She gave me a lap dance that
Speaker 1: I was super uncomfortable about it, and that song um
Speaker 1: Faint by Lincoln Park was playing. Yeah, that album had
Speaker 1: just come out. It was a really big deal, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I really liked this song and she's like,
Speaker 1: I do too, And her name was Illusion Illusion and
Speaker 1: she made me do a man that night. It sounds
Speaker 1: like you guys really hit it off. We sure did.
Speaker 1: She was the one welf. I mean, you're married, obviously.
Speaker 1: So I went to a strip club. So I've a
Speaker 1: trip three or four times, but I went three years ago,
Speaker 1: and this is like the most jarred story I can
Speaker 1: possibly tell. So we're at the strip club on being
Speaker 1: where I feel a little uncomfortable to be surrounded by
Speaker 1: a bunch of dudes watching a girl perform, all being
Speaker 1: turned on at the same time in one room. Like
Speaker 1: it's just like a weird environment for me to be in.
Speaker 1: But a buddy of mine bought me a lap dance
Speaker 1: because he knew that I was uncomfortable. So I went
Speaker 1: into the private room as this girl. And so the
Speaker 1: first obviously it was like it was like she he
Speaker 1: paid for a song, I think it was. So I
Speaker 1: go back there with this woman, I forget her name,
Speaker 1: and she's she you know, stands in front of me
Speaker 1: and then she starts doing your dance. But we start
Speaker 1: talking right and so I'm asking about her life and
Speaker 1: like what she does and what she you know, where
Speaker 1: she's from, so on and so far. I swear to God,
Speaker 1: I saw talking to this girl and we've talked for
Speaker 1: like ten minutes. She didn't even give me a lap dance.
Speaker 1: I just talked to the strip for the entire time.
Speaker 1: So of course I get up and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: that wasn't so bad, Like that's fine, and I'm walking
Speaker 1: out and the bounce was like, okay, ninety bucks, it
Speaker 1: was already paid for. He's like that he paid for
Speaker 1: one song, you went for two more. No, no, no, no no,
Speaker 1: Like she didn't even give me a lap dance. And
Speaker 1: she's gone by this point, like I don't see here,
Speaker 1: and he's like, listen, you could give me the money
Speaker 1: or you're out, Like he was just and he didn't
Speaker 1: say it like that. It was a far more intimidating
Speaker 1: voice human being it was coming from, and so I
Speaker 1: immediately felt threatened and like he was going to break
Speaker 1: both my life. So he escorted me to the a
Speaker 1: t M where I withdrew ninety more dollars and handed
Speaker 1: it to him and then went back to my little
Speaker 1: corner and had the rest of my Vaca Cranberry and
Speaker 1: called it him and those service charges on the A
Speaker 1: t M S a joke dollars. It's a um, well,
Speaker 1: all right, safe to say that Jared will not be
Speaker 1: attending a strip club for his bachelor party, especially if
Speaker 1: actually is there. I don't really, I don't see that
Speaker 1: final too went off the rails on that one. Didn't
Speaker 1: we j Did you watch Bachelor in Paradise? I did?
Speaker 1: Did you? I did catch us up? What do you
Speaker 1: think about everything? Obviously the call and a situation is
Speaker 1: dominating the storyline. I feel like a lot of yeah,
Speaker 1: who are yeah? I have no idea. I feel like
Speaker 1: a lot of people are on social media are hating that,
Speaker 1: which I'm not sure why because it's definitely for me,
Speaker 1: the most interesting part to the show. I think Jordan's
Speaker 1: is feeling Jordan's. It's it's colon Tia number one and
Speaker 1: then Jordan is number two. But Jordan is really likable.
Speaker 1: I mean he's I liked him on Beckas season as well.
Speaker 1: I thought he you know, while for all his quirk,
Speaker 1: he came off pretty genuine and funny, and I liked
Speaker 1: him a lot, so he's only reaffirming the facts of
Speaker 1: why I like him. And then I mean, with Calling
Speaker 1: and Tia, it's kind of I think they're both in
Speaker 1: the wrong. I think Tia, A lot of people are
Speaker 1: on TIA's side, and I'm not saying I'm not, but
Speaker 1: I'm also on Colton's side as well. I'm wondering where
Speaker 1: you're at with that. You're sitting on the fence. You
Speaker 1: could go either way, dude, I know I'm still on
Speaker 1: the fense like Colon right now. The thing is, I mean,
Speaker 1: Colin is being very open and honest about the fact
Speaker 1: that he's not sure about his feelings for Tia, and
Speaker 1: so I feel bad for Tia because I know how
Speaker 1: much she likes Calling and how she's focusing on him,
Speaker 1: so I can I can feel for her. But at
Speaker 1: the same time, Colin is not doing anything wrong. He's
Speaker 1: being completely on its telling her I still don't want
Speaker 1: to close the book on you, but I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: So I think at this point it's kind of up
Speaker 1: to Tia to really, you know, pull up her pant
Speaker 1: so to speak, and stand up for herself and say, Okay,
Speaker 1: I need to shut that door because it's not going
Speaker 1: to work. So I don't really know, because here's this thing,
Speaker 1: like as much as I love Kendall and Kendall's the
Speaker 1: sweetish girls, she's kind of doing the same thing Colinton's
Speaker 1: doing where she told grocery store Joe she really likes them,
Speaker 1: but she wants to, you know, date other people. And
Speaker 1: she kissed John right after she talked to Joe. So
Speaker 1: I don't understand why Colin's getting so much flak for it,
Speaker 1: um when I don't think he's really doing anything wrong.
Speaker 1: I mean, you can be on TIA's sign, but I
Speaker 1: think I just I don't. I don't see why Colin's
Speaker 1: being villainized. I was just talking to Nick about it today.
Speaker 1: It seems like this season of Paradise is just filled
Speaker 1: with hypocrisy, Like everyone is giving Colton crap for what
Speaker 1: he's doing while doing the exact same thing that he's doing.
Speaker 1: And the only reason that we seem to be giving
Speaker 1: Culton Moore crap for it is because they're much more
Speaker 1: of a central focus of the storyline. They're getting more airtime,
Speaker 1: they're getting more interaction between both him and Tia, and
Speaker 1: then other people talking about their interaction as well. So
Speaker 1: like we we just tend to focus on it a
Speaker 1: little bit more. But then you look at it like
Speaker 1: Jordan's doing the same thing, Chris is doing the same thing,
Speaker 1: Kendall is doing the same thing, but no one else
Speaker 1: really seems to be as villainized as much as Colton's
Speaker 1: being right now. And again, I'm not sticking up for Colton.
Speaker 1: I think that. So he got done filming Becca season,
Speaker 1: and then a month and a half later he goes
Speaker 1: to Paradise, and in that month and a half he
Speaker 1: doesn't reach out to Tia, seemingly that he doesn't have
Speaker 1: a conversation with her. Then he strolls into Paradise, takes
Speaker 1: her on a date, kisses her, and then isn't certain
Speaker 1: about what he wants to do. And it just it
Speaker 1: kind of perplexes me, because if one of them felt
Speaker 1: anything for each other, they knew that there was a
Speaker 1: six week gap to spark a conversation, uh, reignite anything
Speaker 1: that might have been there before going back down into Paradise.
Speaker 1: And sure, maybe it's like going down into Paradise with
Speaker 1: a clean slate and having no conversations before made it
Speaker 1: more like authentic and all that kind of stuff, But
Speaker 1: to me, it just doesn't seem like either of them
Speaker 1: like they want to be in a relationship shure, but
Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like either of them. I want it
Speaker 1: badly enough, and again Tia is fighting very hard for it.
Speaker 1: But why didn't she call him in six weeks between Paradise.
Speaker 1: I think they both want to be in a relationship,
Speaker 1: but it just kind of appears to me that they
Speaker 1: don't want to be in a relationship with each other.
Speaker 1: And so that's what's perplexing to me. I grew with
Speaker 1: you after that they in Paradise, where both of them,
Speaker 1: or at least Colton was still saying he wanted to
Speaker 1: explore the options. I think the only thing Colin is
Speaker 1: doing wrong right now is not closing the book on Tia.
Speaker 1: I think what he should do is say, Tia, listen,
Speaker 1: we went on the date. You know, I'm a little
Speaker 1: confused about my feelings towards you, but I think the
Speaker 1: best thing for both of us right now is to
Speaker 1: really try to date other people and not date each other,
Speaker 1: separate ourselves from this situation. I think that's the only
Speaker 1: thing Colan's doing wrong. And with Tina, I definitely feel
Speaker 1: for her. I feel bad for Tia because I can
Speaker 1: empathize with someone who likes someone so much they just
Speaker 1: they wanted to be there so badly. But after the
Speaker 1: Rose ceremony, I think, right now, heading for the rest
Speaker 1: of Paradise, I think the best thing for Tia is
Speaker 1: to just not think about Colon. And I know that's
Speaker 1: almost impossible to do when he's dating other people, you know,
Speaker 1: and right in front of her, But I mean, that's
Speaker 1: kind of like what we signed up for while going
Speaker 1: to Paradise, and the whole crisp thing. I don't know,
Speaker 1: Christ kind of pisses me off. I can't stand, like,
Speaker 1: I'm sure he's a nice guy, but I can't stand
Speaker 1: what people say, well, I'm a good guy, Like he
Speaker 1: said that again during the show, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I hate when people quantify them stuff like that, Well,
Speaker 1: I'm good. If you have to say it probably isn't
Speaker 1: entirely true. And he kind of did Tia wrong with
Speaker 1: the whole trust me, you can trust me, I'm a
Speaker 1: good guy thing, and then he goes and pulls what
Speaker 1: he pulls. It just it just seems a little shady
Speaker 1: to me. Um from my perspective watching the show, it's
Speaker 1: funny because a lot of people took to Twitter to
Speaker 1: compare Colton tas relationship to mine and Christina's relationship, and
Speaker 1: I just think that's that's erroneous on all accounts, because
Speaker 1: first of all, Christina and I are just so much
Speaker 1: better looking than Colton and Tias as a couple, and
Speaker 1: I am very deeply offended by these comparisons. You guys
Speaker 1: are beautiful color you're just friends now. But I don't know,
Speaker 1: It's it's definitely a difficult situation to be in. It's
Speaker 1: going to be interesting to see how it all kind
Speaker 1: of unfolds. And I mean, Colton got super emotional about
Speaker 1: Becca being back in Paradise, But I guess we'll see.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm honestly excited for Jordan and Jenna's story to
Speaker 1: continue to unfold. They seem pretty interesting, Like it seemed
Speaker 1: like the weirdest couple to ever kind of get together,
Speaker 1: but it seems to work and that's pretty cool. Um,
Speaker 1: And then we'll see, like if the hippocrisy kind of
Speaker 1: lives on with you know, Kendall and Joe and Chris
Speaker 1: and whoever he decides he wants to kiss that night,
Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff. But yeah, like I mean,
Speaker 1: I loved I Love Grocers shar Joe. She's like, it's
Speaker 1: so funny how there are guys that can be awkward
Speaker 1: or shy, but they're so charming while they do it. Like,
Speaker 1: for example, when he went up in except for the
Speaker 1: Rose and Kendall, she's like Rose, He's like, yeah, it
Speaker 1: was so awkward but yet awesome, And You're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this guy, this guy's got something about him that's really
Speaker 1: cool and authentic and different than everybody else. And I
Speaker 1: think that's why Joe, uh, you know, came everybody wanted to.
Speaker 1: He was at home in beck of season. So I'm
Speaker 1: interested to see what happens. I just really hope that
Speaker 1: Colin and Tia just date other people. It's going to
Speaker 1: be I'm assuming Colin. It's interesting to see if Colin's leaves,
Speaker 1: if he feels like he's not ready to date other people,
Speaker 1: and then he shouldn't. He should have been been there
Speaker 1: in the first place. He keeps talking about how he's
Speaker 1: not over back and he hasn't been able to move on,
Speaker 1: and yet here he is on a show where you're
Speaker 1: supposed to be dating people. It's like, well, you shouldn't
Speaker 1: have put yourself in the situation if you weren't ready
Speaker 1: to move past your most recent relationship and you still
Speaker 1: haven't gotten over that. And I mean, it's kind of
Speaker 1: easy to say, obviously from a from a viewer's perspective,
Speaker 1: but of course I think it's really difficult to not
Speaker 1: to say no to Paradise because you feel like you're
Speaker 1: still not over your bachelorette, because like, what better way
Speaker 1: to get over someone than date other people? And then
Speaker 1: you know, in six months from now, he's you know,
Speaker 1: he's finally over backed. I feel like he's going to
Speaker 1: really regret not going on and giving this a shot,
Speaker 1: and so like, what's the word that could happen? Just
Speaker 1: like all I said last week, you gotta go out
Speaker 1: hundred dates to get over your X, that's it. And like, sure,
Speaker 1: is it's stupid to go on TV and go on
Speaker 1: dates to try to get over your rex? Maybe, But
Speaker 1: at the same time, at least he's being himself, he's
Speaker 1: not faking anything, he's not being like, you know, I'm ready.
Speaker 1: And then he just pushed this entire thing and then
Speaker 1: takes it with somebody and leaves, and then it's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: actually that lied. It didn't have things for you. I'm
Speaker 1: just trying not to. Well, we'll see what happens, all right, well, Jared.
Speaker 1: In the meantime, good luck picking out your wedding venue.
Speaker 1: Let's keep tweeting at Taylor Swift and maybe we'll get
Speaker 1: her to give you guys a house next year. That'd
Speaker 1: be pretty cool. Um, yeah, that's the goal. I can
Speaker 1: photoshop one of those screenshots where it says how many
Speaker 1: retweets let's have your wedding at your house? You shall
Speaker 1: say eighteen and a half. And then you're like, you'll
Speaker 1: get that really easily, pretty pretty quick. I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll make it believable. Something you like, you can get
Speaker 1: like wet, like that's a contract. Desent's the photoshop was.
Speaker 1: I think we can figure that out. All right, Well,
Speaker 1: good luck, buddy, have fun. We look forward to having
Speaker 1: you back in studio next week and hearing all about
Speaker 1: kind of you guys, what kind of headway I guess
Speaker 1: you guys have made on the wedding planning. So all right,
Speaker 1: sounds good, guys, We'll see you later. Um. One thing
Speaker 1: that I think that they're wedding will definitely need, and
Speaker 1: that all weddings need is a very romantic and beautiful ambiance.
Speaker 1: And what better way to get that romance and that
Speaker 1: ambience that you're looking for than with some homestick candles. Eastern,
Speaker 1: you know about these homestick candles. I've heard about these things.
Speaker 1: They they smell like home. They they do, they can.
Speaker 1: So what homestick candles are is, you know a lot
Speaker 1: of us have up and moved from our hometowns, and
Speaker 1: we have obviously have the nostalgia of always going back there,
Speaker 1: and there's one thing that always kind of sticks in
Speaker 1: our heads, and that's the smell of our hometown or
Speaker 1: home city, home state, whatever it is. Um. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you knew this, Eastern or not, but do
Speaker 1: you know that scent is this memory strongest linked with memory.
Speaker 1: I did not know that, Did I say that wrong?
Speaker 1: The scent is these uh sense that's longest links with memory.
Speaker 1: So if you smell something, you're more likely to remember
Speaker 1: something then if you like, see it or whatever it's.
Speaker 1: I don't know exactly why that is, but um, you
Speaker 1: can get these homesick candles for all fifty states, dozens
Speaker 1: of the most famous countries and cities in the world,
Speaker 1: there's a cent for many of life's most memorable experience
Speaker 1: in the holidays, to like Christmas, Thanksgiving, whatever it is.
Speaker 1: I actually have one of Colorado, and honestly it's smell
Speaker 1: as just like Colorado. So whenever I go back, I
Speaker 1: light it. If I get home and get homesick and
Speaker 1: um kind of let myself fade away into the center
Speaker 1: of Colorado, it's just fantastic. So if you go to
Speaker 1: homesick dot com to find every single one of the
Speaker 1: fifty United States candles, plus dozens of classic US cities
Speaker 1: popular countries of the world ship direct to you and
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Speaker 1: you buy two or more candles. Just visit homesick dot
Speaker 1: com and use my code Dean that's homesick dot com
Speaker 1: and use my code d e A and check it out.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're like me, live in Los Angeles and have
Speaker 1: a home state that you you're fond of and you
Speaker 1: miss and you want to just kind of breathe in
Speaker 1: the aroma of it. Check it out homesick dot com.
Speaker 1: If you're from California, you're in luck because they've got
Speaker 1: a NorCal candle, a Los Angeles candle, and a California
Speaker 1: candle just for the whole state. Um. So yeah, go
Speaker 1: go on homesick dot com check them out, use the
Speaker 1: code dan at d e A and you get ten
Speaker 1: dollars off when you buy two or more candles plus
Speaker 1: free shipping. Um. Next up, we're going to have Vanessa
Speaker 1: I think, joining and give us an update on what
Speaker 1: she's doing with her life. Vaness, how are you there? Yes?
Speaker 1: I am hi. How are you hi? I'm good? What
Speaker 1: are you? What are you doing right now? Act? I
Speaker 1: was just checking out my eyebrows in the mirror. Um, well,
Speaker 1: I understand you were hosting some radio show all week too, right,
Speaker 1: Oh yes, part of the Virgin family. Um. So I'm
Speaker 1: doing ACT the all week Virgin Radio in Montreal and
Speaker 1: hosting the morning segment. So I've been up in four
Speaker 1: o'clock Eastern time, so it's four o'clock in the afternoon.
Speaker 1: That's not that early four o'clock in the morning. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: that makes sense. Wait, I wonder what did they did?
Speaker 1: They listen to you on this podcast and realize how
Speaker 1: exceptional of a host you are and ask you to
Speaker 1: come in. Who the Virgin radio people in Montreal? Yeah, um, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: And I don't think they had to do with that.
Speaker 1: I think, Um. I mean I've listened with them before
Speaker 1: in the past and they know that I'm part of
Speaker 1: the Virgin, part of the I Heeart family. So they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: why don't you come in nice. Well that's fantastic. We'll
Speaker 1: have to tune in and listen to it. Um. Well,
Speaker 1: so fill us in on your life a little bit.
Speaker 1: We want to hear what's going on in the life
Speaker 1: of Vanessa. Well, you know, there's is one relationship that
Speaker 1: I'm putting a lot of effort into. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you saw my reach the Instagram story. Uh, you
Speaker 1: can look at it right now when you feel me
Speaker 1: in it sounds like before before you say anything, I'm
Speaker 1: sure it's going to be with like a kid or
Speaker 1: a dog or a plant or something like that. Um.
Speaker 1: I was in Miami all weekend. I was actually away.
Speaker 1: So this is funny. So do you watch Big Brother?
Speaker 1: I do not, Okay, So anyway, so Jessica Grass and Cody, Um,
Speaker 1: I think there were from like two Seeing the Door
Speaker 1: or whatever from Big Brother. They met on Big Brother
Speaker 1: they were on the Amazing Race together, they wanted the
Speaker 1: Amazing Race, proposed to her soon after they want and
Speaker 1: now they're getting married in October, and uh, I'm part
Speaker 1: of their wedding party. And get this, guess what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: You are bringing your basil plant as a date. Well
Speaker 1: technically I should, but no, I'm walking their dog down
Speaker 1: the aisle. So yeah, wait wait, wait, so you're not
Speaker 1: getting walked down the aisle by one of the Grim's men. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm walking a dog. I mean I'm used
Speaker 1: the dating dogs. So it's going to be like, oh,
Speaker 1: how harsh, harsh but appropriate. It sounds like, okay, so
Speaker 1: you're gonna be part of the wedding. I have a question,
Speaker 1: would you ever consider doing Big Brother or Amazing Race
Speaker 1: or anything like that. I mean, I've I haven't watched
Speaker 1: the full season of Big Brother. It looks super escertaining.
Speaker 1: I'm not so be mentally able to because they like
Speaker 1: mess with you. They leased the lights on in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night. They put music on like I
Speaker 1: remember it by If I ever there's just one song,
Speaker 1: If I ever think suggest so like start going crazy.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, I think it's like the clown song
Speaker 1: or something like this. Do do so? Like they really
Speaker 1: just even more so than The Bachelor. You think they
Speaker 1: mess with you? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: so let's an answer the question. Say they asked to
Speaker 1: say they reach out to you to go on Big Brother?
Speaker 1: Would you would you say yes or no? What are
Speaker 1: you saying? Oh? Uh? I mean listen, I said I
Speaker 1: would never do anything like the best that I went on.
Speaker 1: I had a great experience and I got to meet
Speaker 1: you and you know, the Baster family, So I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe I think I would consider it. I think Big Brother.
Speaker 1: So what's funny actually is they reached out to me
Speaker 1: and they wanted me to do I think it was
Speaker 1: this season or next season Big Brother, Celebrity one they
Speaker 1: did or not. I don't know if it was celebrity. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's probably the celebrity one. Um, and I
Speaker 1: said no, And I kind of regret saying no. I
Speaker 1: kind of feel I kind of wish I did it.
Speaker 1: Almost Well, there's always next season. I think it's actually
Speaker 1: coming up again, this celebrity Oh no, I think it's
Speaker 1: in springtime. In springtime, and so what I'm trying really
Speaker 1: really hard to do. And I've talked to Ben about
Speaker 1: this before because I want Ben Higgins and I had
Speaker 1: to be teammates on Amazing Race. I thought you were
Speaker 1: gonna ask me, you know I didn't factor. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: you won fear Factor. Yeah exactly? What what like ten
Speaker 1: thousand dollars for your charity? No? Wow? I know how
Speaker 1: did you win? Because I had had a chance to
Speaker 1: watch the episode. Yes, I tell us a little bit
Speaker 1: about the challenges. So the first challenge we had to
Speaker 1: it's kind of hard to explain that. Basically, we had
Speaker 1: like this box around us and we were the last
Speaker 1: team to go. So they used the same snake, the
Speaker 1: same raps, the same scorpions, and and a cockroaches. So
Speaker 1: when Danielle had to pack up the snake and put
Speaker 1: into her box and then put into my box, the
Speaker 1: snake was like I'm not having it. He literally went up.
Speaker 1: There's like segments of you see it, like the snake
Speaker 1: goes up between my legs and uh, I just couldn't
Speaker 1: pull it out from between my legs. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. The most factor that I got on
Speaker 1: the water so I had to I could throw the
Speaker 1: snake into spin and then do you think the snake
Speaker 1: is going to be jealous that you're walking a dog
Speaker 1: down the aisle at your friend's wedding. I mean, if
Speaker 1: the snake is listening to this, I apologize. Well wait
Speaker 1: a second. You get upset with me for not asking
Speaker 1: to be on my amazing race team, and then you
Speaker 1: don't invite me to be on your Fear Factor team.
Speaker 1: We weren't friends. I don't think we even met. No,
Speaker 1: we didn't eat once, but we weren't. We weren't homies
Speaker 1: back there. Yeah we went to that celebrity or that
Speaker 1: charity ping pong tournament together. Yeah, well I think you
Speaker 1: high five me and that was the fur. You weren't
Speaker 1: really interested in having a conversation with me. I remember that.
Speaker 1: Actually that's true. So it's fine. I get it. I
Speaker 1: get it. You had important baseball players to talk to
Speaker 1: and whatever. No, I was actually found girling. Um it
Speaker 1: was that one actor from Ozark, Do you know what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about? No, Jason Baby, I don't remember him
Speaker 1: being there. I do remember a couple of cool people
Speaker 1: being there. But it's okay, it's whatever. Maybe next time
Speaker 1: you go on Fear Factor. I mean, I guess Danielle
Speaker 1: and you one, so maybe you have her be your
Speaker 1: teammate again. But yeah, well, I mean, if ever you're
Speaker 1: looking for teammates for an amazing race, I'll let you know. Um. Well,
Speaker 1: so what else is going on in your life? Have
Speaker 1: you been going on any dates? Are you on Bumble
Speaker 1: or Ryan? Did? No? Ryan? No? Actually so I'm currently
Speaker 1: not on any dating app well for now? Good or not?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, I know, I don't know. I don't.
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like it'd be slipping and
Speaker 1: slipping and then I don't know. Um, too many options,
Speaker 1: So not on dating apps. But I did go on
Speaker 1: a date recently, had lots of fun. So we'll see.
Speaker 1: We'll tell us about this date. You're not gonna let
Speaker 1: you get off that easy. What was it like? How
Speaker 1: do you meet and where did you go? What you do?
Speaker 1: I don't want to give too any details away, but
Speaker 1: I'm not again. Last time I did something like this,
Speaker 1: an article came out saying that I was on I
Speaker 1: was dating someone. No, I'm not dating anyone and went
Speaker 1: on a date dates. Yeah, did you meet them? How
Speaker 1: did you meet? I through? How do you remember? Was like?
Speaker 1: Through a bunch of friends? In the city and we're
Speaker 1: all like hanging out together and we just like connected
Speaker 1: and we're like, oh cool. And he asked him on
Speaker 1: a date. I don't remember how it went. That means
Speaker 1: you asked him. Let's be really right. Listen, listen. I
Speaker 1: am the goal getter. I have to be the one
Speaker 1: and we've had some conversation before. There's nothing ashamed of.
Speaker 1: It's absolutely respectable. You should be going on dates. I
Speaker 1: am a proponent of you going on dates. I want
Speaker 1: you to find someone. Vanessa, I think we all do.
Speaker 1: What did you do on the date? Where did you
Speaker 1: guys go? What? We just walked around the city. It's
Speaker 1: a good day. What do you mean? He was? Walked
Speaker 1: around the city? Like want nothing planned? That bothers me. No.
Speaker 1: We went no, no, no, no, no no, I said,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do anything too crazy. So we
Speaker 1: literally just walked around the city. It was a really
Speaker 1: nice day. We went out for dinner and called nights. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Romantic and very casual. Keeps the pressure off. It sounds like, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah it was, Yeah I was. And that's the thing
Speaker 1: I don't like. I don't like having when you first
Speaker 1: dating someone and I we spoke about this before. It's
Speaker 1: like an audition process. You feel like you have to
Speaker 1: be a certain type of way to be the person
Speaker 1: that you think that the person is looking for. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm I don't want to do that. So
Speaker 1: I was myself and it was so fun to just
Speaker 1: shed all these like layers and just you know, like
Speaker 1: purpo if I wanted to bourb and poop at the
Speaker 1: door open on your first date, Vanessa, you're in the
Speaker 1: bathroom right now, even come on? Um okay, So how
Speaker 1: did the rest of it go? It sounds like you
Speaker 1: guys had a good time. Are you gonna have another
Speaker 1: date with him? Possibly? I don't know. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: so busy. I was in Miami for the Best Threat Party.
Speaker 1: I just got back yesterday. I did the radio, so
Speaker 1: this morning it wasn't as while as people probably expected
Speaker 1: that the Red party to go. It was um like
Speaker 1: Coody was there too with his friends. So we hung
Speaker 1: altogether during the day like the guys and the girls,
Speaker 1: and that night went out for dinner Jack and Jilian. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was a Jack and Joel party, exactly what Jared wanted.
Speaker 1: That's cute. Yeah, Wait, so do you have you have fun?
Speaker 1: For the Jack and Joe bachelorotte party. Well, is it
Speaker 1: technically a bachelor atte party or what do you call that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I guess to say pre wedding party, right, because it's not. No,
Speaker 1: we didn't do anything crazy, no strippers, none of that
Speaker 1: wild stuff. Do you like strip clubs? Um? I've actually
Speaker 1: been to quite a few. WHOA, that's a surprising answer.
Speaker 1: Do you guys? Do know? I love as much as
Speaker 1: all Right, it's like the city of Um, so you've
Speaker 1: gone to a few strip clubs? Because Jared and I
Speaker 1: were just talking about this as well. Um, would you
Speaker 1: if you were getting married and your your husband to
Speaker 1: be was throwing a bachelor party, would you be upset
Speaker 1: if he and his friends went to a strip club?
Speaker 1: If I got the chance to go to no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't go with him. It would be it would
Speaker 1: be them. If I go with my girls too, Oh,
Speaker 1: you'd go to a male strip club or a female
Speaker 1: strip club. Honestly, have you ever gone to a mail
Speaker 1: strip club? You don't know? Okay, Erica, have you been? No,
Speaker 1: I haven't at all. It doesn't even exist. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: they exist. Okay, they're so they're entertaining I've been to both.
Speaker 1: I've been to female and male strip clubs. The male
Speaker 1: strip clubs they're just fun. I've been to a Magic Mike.
Speaker 1: I've been to a Magic Mike show. Okay, I haven't
Speaker 1: been to what. I'm guessing it's I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's like that. I left through. So Alex's best friend
Speaker 1: is like a Magic Mike dancer, and he asked me
Speaker 1: to go with him. That's amazing. Okay, So you'd be
Speaker 1: okay with it because because Bill Jay and I get
Speaker 1: a little we were talking about it, we get a
Speaker 1: little uncomfortable at strip clubs. I personally like, I don't
Speaker 1: really know what to do. I've never feel comfortable getting
Speaker 1: a lap dance. I just kind of sit there awkwardly. Well, see,
Speaker 1: that's the thing. I know. I wouldn't do anything that
Speaker 1: will cross the line, so I would hold the person
Speaker 1: I'm with. I wouldn't do anything now across the line either,
Speaker 1: you know. I don't people go into bathroom bachelorette party
Speaker 1: thinking like this is the last rob before you like
Speaker 1: settle down like that. Could you see a time with
Speaker 1: your friends celebrating the fact that you're going to get married.
Speaker 1: Don't mess it up right, I mean, yeah, no, I agree,
Speaker 1: that makes sense. That's I mean, I'm surprised that you've
Speaker 1: been to a lot of script clubs. But I didn't
Speaker 1: say a lot. That's a that's a Montreal thing. You said, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's there's you know, there's quite a few strip clubs
Speaker 1: in Montreal. Okay, Well, that's cool that you had a
Speaker 1: bachelotte party, did you, because Jared had one this weekend
Speaker 1: as well, a bachelor party of course. So it's just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess I for I forgot to get an invite
Speaker 1: to one of them. It would have been funny if
Speaker 1: we all went three for three this weekend. That's what
Speaker 1: their stories were about, because I thought, what an early
Speaker 1: bachelor party, aren't they not his? Not his? It's not his,
Speaker 1: it was his friends. But then we were talking about
Speaker 1: him planning his bachelor party and he wants to have
Speaker 1: a jack and jail party as well, and I'm I'm
Speaker 1: anti Jack and jail party. I think that a bachelor
Speaker 1: party should be a bachelor party. Bachelorte party should be
Speaker 1: a bachelotte party. They be separate things. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I just I think they should be separate things. But again.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm single and I'm not going on any dates,
Speaker 1: so maybe I don't know what my question is. Like, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: you are single and you went to a Jack and
Speaker 1: Joel one, did you feel weird because like Jared's reasoning
Speaker 1: for wanting one was so that everyone could have their
Speaker 1: significant other there? Oh god, no, listen, I've gone to
Speaker 1: a number of weddings and I'm usually always a similar
Speaker 1: one there. Um and yeah it sounds like so used
Speaker 1: to it and who cares, you know, Like I don't know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: who cares? I mean we both had fun at We
Speaker 1: both had fun at the greatest wedding ever donated, and
Speaker 1: you're both signal I guess, yeah, yep, yep, that was
Speaker 1: lots of fun. You had lots of fun. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: not know. Every time I would turn around, he's like
Speaker 1: I was dancing. I was. I was a man possessed
Speaker 1: on the dance floor. A lot of fun. I remember
Speaker 1: there's a there's a video of me. I like jumped
Speaker 1: up on stage while someone was singing and I was
Speaker 1: like sitting there and I was like gyrating in this
Speaker 1: weird way and I fell off the stage. It was
Speaker 1: pretty embarrassing, but also hilarious at the same time, this
Speaker 1: videos out there somewhere I'd like to find um. Okay, So,
Speaker 1: so moving forward back to your date because obviously that's
Speaker 1: the hot topic for today's episode. Are you gonna go
Speaker 1: on a second date you think? Or how is that
Speaker 1: going to unfold? I'm so good. I have so much
Speaker 1: work to catch up on, so right now I'm just
Speaker 1: focusing on getting all that stuff done, and I'm trying
Speaker 1: to take the dating scene a little differently and not
Speaker 1: you know, have all these expects, not all just that
Speaker 1: it's tough to not have expectations when it comes to
Speaker 1: someone you're like kind of interested in, you know. And
Speaker 1: I feel like dating nowadays is this hard? I was
Speaker 1: actually reading this article. I don'd you and Derek spoke
Speaker 1: about it. But there's this term called bread crumbing it
Speaker 1: We've we've discussed bread coming in the past on this podcast.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, I just found out about this term. I'm like,
Speaker 1: it's so true. Are you being bread crumbed or are
Speaker 1: you bread crumbing him? No? I don't bread crumb people.
Speaker 1: I love bread crump That wouldn't throw that around bread.
Speaker 1: Why do you think you're maybe bread crumbed? No? I'm saying,
Speaker 1: what if I am being bread crumbed? I don't know.
Speaker 1: You define define bread crumbing for our listeners. Bread crumbing
Speaker 1: means when someone continues to leave you CRUs that they're
Speaker 1: into you, but they're not really into you, Like he
Speaker 1: send your random text messages and pretty stuff and you think, like, oh,
Speaker 1: they're thinking about me, but they're just actually bored and
Speaker 1: want validation and attention. So I don't know. Well, I guess,
Speaker 1: I guess you really have to have your bread crumb
Speaker 1: rater on. I mean, hopefully he's not doing that. It
Speaker 1: sounds like that would be a bad thing. Did you
Speaker 1: guys kiss each other at the end of the day, No, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: be honest with us. Did you share an intimate kiss
Speaker 1: with each other? It? No, we didn't. Okay, I'm going
Speaker 1: to believe you, but I'm skeptical of my belief. Okay,
Speaker 1: classic deflection, classic classic. Uh mine's been pretty much the same,
Speaker 1: consistently non existent. I was up in San Francisco at
Speaker 1: outside Lances past weekend and I was basically just did
Speaker 1: what I did at the wedding, danced around like a
Speaker 1: maniac for three days with my best friends. Uh, I
Speaker 1: mean it was. You know, it's great. I enjoy the um,
Speaker 1: the fact that there is no pressure on anything when
Speaker 1: you don't have a relationship with someone like you, when
Speaker 1: you're at dating or anything like that, there's obviously no
Speaker 1: pressure to be any certain type of way or to
Speaker 1: like I guess, continue to develop feelings in any sort
Speaker 1: of way. So you kind of just get to do
Speaker 1: your own thing. And UM, I have a lot of
Speaker 1: like excited things that I'm interested in in kind of
Speaker 1: pursuing and all that kind of stuff. And so I think,
Speaker 1: similar to you, you said, you're too busy to really
Speaker 1: take a relationship to the where I guess, to the
Speaker 1: level that it needs to be. But if it happens,
Speaker 1: that happens, I'm kind of in the same boat where
Speaker 1: I'm not really trying at all for the first time
Speaker 1: in my life to be in a relationship with anyone. UM,
Speaker 1: And that's that it makes me very very happy, to
Speaker 1: be honest. Yeah, And I think it's like you've you've
Speaker 1: had quite a year um getting off of the franchise,
Speaker 1: And people may not realize this, but it's it's draining.
Speaker 1: There's a lot that comes with with being on the show,
Speaker 1: a lot of pressure and um, you know, I think
Speaker 1: it's important to just focus on what you need to
Speaker 1: do for yourself and then when the timing is right,
Speaker 1: the universe will invite the right person into your world.
Speaker 1: But just we have this conversation last week, just make
Speaker 1: sure that you don't get too comfortable. Um, because that's
Speaker 1: where I'm afraid too that I'm really happy being single
Speaker 1: and I'm so comfortable just doing my thing, focusing on
Speaker 1: the things that need the attention, being with my friends
Speaker 1: and my family. Um, but you know, like you need
Speaker 1: to put yourself out there. But I mean your hollows again,
Speaker 1: I'm one guys. When on's your birthday again, I can't
Speaker 1: wait to celebrate what sh we do? I might actually
Speaker 1: in l a so perfect. So one of my cast
Speaker 1: members from my season of Bachelorette just sent me this
Speaker 1: article from the New York Post titled men have better
Speaker 1: sex with emotionally unstable women. Oh God, how do we
Speaker 1: feel about that? Sounds it? Doesn't it? It's New York Post.
Speaker 1: They wrote the article, Uh do we want to talk
Speaker 1: about that? Maybe not? Maybe just chalk that up as
Speaker 1: that's a weird time. I do want to talk about it.
Speaker 1: Let's let's please talk about this, Okay, I was just saying,
Speaker 1: how like I'm emotionally stable and now I want to
Speaker 1: be emotionally unstable. You want to be emotionally stable? Is
Speaker 1: that because you want to have better sex? No, my
Speaker 1: sex life is great things well, I mean that's good
Speaker 1: to hear it doesn't exist. When it does, it's great.
Speaker 1: That's good. That's good for all the male listeners out there.
Speaker 1: You're driving them crazy right now. This is just that
Speaker 1: article is interesting because I feel like you, this might
Speaker 1: be weird, but you have the best sex when you're
Speaker 1: both emotionally invested in it, right, Guys Erica, I agree
Speaker 1: with you because they feel like there's one thing to
Speaker 1: get naked in bed with someone and aspects with them,
Speaker 1: but there's another. It's a whole other experience to get
Speaker 1: naked in bed with someone and actually just feel and
Speaker 1: just yeah, I guess Bona like a on a deeper
Speaker 1: level and couldn't be vulnerable with that. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: like a one night stand is at least for me,
Speaker 1: one night stands have never been as great as like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe I'm talking about my sex. I'm so sorry,
Speaker 1: but it's just feel like that it gets me, okay,
Speaker 1: but yeah, continue your story. You feel like one night
Speaker 1: stands or what are like never as great like they're
Speaker 1: they're like fun in the moment, but then like in retrospect,
Speaker 1: you're kind of like I have been so much more. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is um. We have someone that spoke about UM.
Speaker 1: Oh was it? I think was an author. She came
Speaker 1: on air. She's talking to us about release ships and
Speaker 1: how some relationships like one Night's dance are like junk food.
Speaker 1: They feel great in the moment, but after you stent
Speaker 1: eating it, they're like, that was a terrible idea. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that makes a lot of sense. It's a good comparison,
Speaker 1: good analogy, I think. Yeah, yeah, I love any analogy
Speaker 1: that includes food. Um the way so game. I mean,
Speaker 1: this is an article based off of men perspective on
Speaker 1: emotionally unstable women and sex. Well, men have better sex
Speaker 1: with emotional unstable women? Is that it? Yes, it says
Speaker 1: men have better sex with emotionally unstable women New York Posts.
Speaker 1: I can probably I probably understanding why because there's no
Speaker 1: I guess that I've been. I don't know. Maybe it
Speaker 1: just means they're a little a little crazier, a little
Speaker 1: more wild a little bit more willing to be adventurous
Speaker 1: and explorative in the in the sack. Who knows, I'm
Speaker 1: just speculating here. I don't know how comment um, yeah,
Speaker 1: no comment al right. Well, so for the listeners out
Speaker 1: there to that participated our Batch Bracket challenge, we had
Speaker 1: a winner and her name was Sarah so Vanessa. Whenever
Speaker 1: you get back to town to record this podcast, we're
Speaker 1: going to partake in a uh not an event, but
Speaker 1: we're gonna hang out with her. We're not in mentally
Speaker 1: unstable sex, but we're gonna hang out with her, and
Speaker 1: we're gonna we're going to treat her to a day
Speaker 1: and that's gonna be your prize. And so you need
Speaker 1: to get here to Los Angeles, ay, so we can
Speaker 1: records to uh an episode with you in studio and
Speaker 1: b of course, so we can fulfill our duty to
Speaker 1: to reward the winner of the Batch Bracket. Um. And
Speaker 1: so we need to figure that out. We'll get you here,
Speaker 1: hopefully before the end of the month. I know that
Speaker 1: you said you're gonna be maybe here in September, so
Speaker 1: I'll be in l a uh the end of September
Speaker 1: beginning of October. Are you gonna be moving back here?
Speaker 1: Are you just gonna be here temporarily again? No, I'm
Speaker 1: going to be there temporarily. I know. Well, we've been
Speaker 1: going through a heatwave, so you're not missing much to
Speaker 1: be perfectly honest. Um, okay, well, Vanessa, thank you as
Speaker 1: always for calling in, and we look forward to hearing
Speaker 1: more about this guy that you've been going on dates.
Speaker 1: You know, we're going to keep asking about it. I know,
Speaker 1: but we're happy. We're optimistic. We want you to be happy.
Speaker 1: We want you to be in love and get married
Speaker 1: and have kids and just be the happy. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: so we're gonna keep asking it. We're gonna keep beating
Speaker 1: the dead horse. I have a good rest of your week,
Speaker 1: have a good weekend. Good luck with Virgin and the
Speaker 1: and the radio hosting. We'll be sure to listen to
Speaker 1: that as well. Um, and talk to you soon, love
Speaker 1: you bye. All right, let's get to some emails. I
Speaker 1: have one email here in front of me. We have
Speaker 1: three emails there in front of you. Who wants to
Speaker 1: read them? I will. This one is from Maddie and
Speaker 1: this will be fun for you, Dean, because it's not
Speaker 1: actually only dating. Focus says Hello, everyone. I'm writing in
Speaker 1: not to prove how much I suck at dating, even
Speaker 1: though that stands to be true, but rather to ask
Speaker 1: questions about traveling and how finances are involved. Dean, you
Speaker 1: recently went on what seemed to be an amazing several
Speaker 1: weeks of traveling across the world, and I want to
Speaker 1: know how you did it. I'm eighteen and on my
Speaker 1: way to college in the fall, which is going to
Speaker 1: break my bank account and make the idea of traveling unobtainable.
Speaker 1: I was curious if you guys have any input on
Speaker 1: how to achieve my goal of seeing the world, whether
Speaker 1: it be through financial tips, a certain mental state, or
Speaker 1: really anything. You all seem to have your life put
Speaker 1: together and are presented with opportunities that include fun excursions,
Speaker 1: So I would like to know your secrets on how
Speaker 1: you're so successful. Perhaps I should go to college, start
Speaker 1: a career, and if I still suck suck at dating,
Speaker 1: then all attempt to get on the Bachelor. I would
Speaker 1: appreciate any advice you have to offer, and also want
Speaker 1: to congratulate Jared nationally on the the engagement. Will pass
Speaker 1: that on to them perfectly. Yeah, we'll pass it on.
Speaker 1: We'll be sure to tell them you said that Maddie
Speaker 1: well first and foremost killed a college. Absolutely. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: it's funny because I was actually gonna write something about
Speaker 1: this because a lot of people reached out to me
Speaker 1: via Instagram or email or whatever h asking for advice
Speaker 1: on traveling. And I'm not. I mean, I've done a
Speaker 1: lot of traveling in my life, but I'm by no
Speaker 1: means am a traveler, you know, like I kind of.
Speaker 1: I can only imagine how many people like must reach
Speaker 1: out to Leslie who like travels for a living and
Speaker 1: like that's essentially her career. Um. But so traveling is
Speaker 1: something that I've always wanted to do ever since I
Speaker 1: was a little kid. To be able to see the
Speaker 1: world is incredible. Um for me, my life is definitely
Speaker 1: not put together, So thank you for thinking that it is, Maddie.
Speaker 1: I really do appreciate that it's actually a big, big
Speaker 1: fat mess. Um. But I've always been extremely, very very
Speaker 1: poor my entire life. So my family has always always poor.
Speaker 1: Uh growing up, I you know, we didn't really have much.
Speaker 1: We like lived in a mobile home for for a
Speaker 1: large part of it, and then all through college, like
Speaker 1: I had to pay my way through college, but I
Speaker 1: never really had the funds necessary to travel, even though
Speaker 1: it's something I always wanted to do. I don't even
Speaker 1: think I went on an airplane for the first time
Speaker 1: until I was like seventeen or eighteen, um. And then obviously,
Speaker 1: like even post college, you know, I had good jobs
Speaker 1: and I was making good money, but it was basically
Speaker 1: money to stay in the lifestyle that I already had
Speaker 1: where it was very like domestic and local to wherever
Speaker 1: I was, whether it was in Denver, Los Angeles, um.
Speaker 1: But now post I guess bachelor bachelorette, I was able
Speaker 1: to save up a little bit more and and make
Speaker 1: that trip. Uh. And it was a little bit more
Speaker 1: expensive than I had originally planned it be because my
Speaker 1: phone got stolen. I like bought a go Pro. I
Speaker 1: decided to rent a car every once in a while
Speaker 1: and like drive somewhere interesting. I missed my flight back
Speaker 1: home from New York to l A and that was expensive. Um,
Speaker 1: it's just a matter of I don't know planning accordingly,
Speaker 1: like I would maybe book affordable flight. So I flew
Speaker 1: to Japan for like five dollars, and then I flew
Speaker 1: to Indonesia for like a hundred dollars, and it was
Speaker 1: like every flight was like right around two or three
Speaker 1: hundred dollars, and so that didn't add up to be
Speaker 1: that much money. I think my flights from a too
Speaker 1: be too eventually back to Los Angeles ended up being
Speaker 1: like two thousands or something like that, which is a
Speaker 1: lot of money, but not not when you consider going
Speaker 1: all the way around the world, you know. Um, And
Speaker 1: like I said, it definitely wasn't inexpensive. But whenever I
Speaker 1: like talk to people about it, like I have no
Speaker 1: issue really sharing how much money I spent, it was
Speaker 1: like maybe like eight or nine thousand dollars for the
Speaker 1: entire five weeks that I was gone, which is a
Speaker 1: lot of money. Absolutely, it certainly is. But whenever you
Speaker 1: talk to or whenever I've talked to someone that's like,
Speaker 1: how much did it cost? Uh, And They're always like,
Speaker 1: I would I would assume it costs you like dollars
Speaker 1: to do all that, and like, I'm like, no, it
Speaker 1: really wasn't that bad. Um. I'm not much of a
Speaker 1: hostile guy. I kind of wish I was, because you
Speaker 1: could stay in a hostel for like ten dollars a
Speaker 1: night versus a hotel which is like a hundred dollars
Speaker 1: a night. Um. But I figured, you know what, I was, like,
Speaker 1: I'm traveling, I might as well just do the things
Speaker 1: that I want to do, Like I might as well
Speaker 1: just rent this car and drive up here, rent this
Speaker 1: motor second, go over here. Um. And it was a
Speaker 1: great experience, like I wouldn't even I didn't even book
Speaker 1: a lot of my flights until maybe like a week
Speaker 1: or two in advance. I didn't book my hotel rooms
Speaker 1: until like the day before I flied to that city,
Speaker 1: mostly because like I wasn't sure where I wanted to stay,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to get some opinions of some of
Speaker 1: my friends and all that kind of stuff. Um. So
Speaker 1: my advice to Maddie is, obviously, go to school, get
Speaker 1: a job. If you still suck at dating, go on
Speaker 1: the Bachelor. Bachelor. Uh well, I guess it had to
Speaker 1: be Bachelor for you. Yeah, um, and just put it
Speaker 1: off if you don't if you can't afford it right now. Like,
Speaker 1: of course I wish I could go traveling when I
Speaker 1: was eighteen or nineteen or twenty, but like the fact
Speaker 1: that I did it when I was twenty seven, it
Speaker 1: didn't take anything away from the experience. If anything, it
Speaker 1: made it better because you know, I understand maybe a
Speaker 1: little bit more about the world and more open to
Speaker 1: two different things. So, um, just because you're not doing
Speaker 1: it now doesn't mean you're not going to be doing
Speaker 1: it in eight, nine, ten years. That's my advice. I
Speaker 1: also think if you have the finances available, studying abroad
Speaker 1: is a really good option when you're in college. Um,
Speaker 1: that's something I wish I had done. I never did it,
Speaker 1: and now I'm like, wait, why I could have. I
Speaker 1: really wish I had studied abroad. One of my friends
Speaker 1: did a study abroad program in Argentina, and I was
Speaker 1: really very jealous of that. And like, even like a
Speaker 1: lot of my friends now who went to Boulder, they
Speaker 1: all did like study abroad programs in like London or Italy,
Speaker 1: and they always talk about it like so fondly, and
Speaker 1: I'm always like, I really missed out on that experience.
Speaker 1: But and then you meet people in other parts of
Speaker 1: the country or in other parts of the world, and
Speaker 1: you can go stay with them when you travel, So
Speaker 1: there you go. Yeah, so just stick it out, get
Speaker 1: an education, get a job, and don't stress out about
Speaker 1: not doing it. Now because you can always do it
Speaker 1: later within reason. Yes, let's me want the next one,
Speaker 1: all right? Next one from Christine? She says, Hey, everyone,
Speaker 1: I've been stuck in the friend zone, but I took
Speaker 1: some advice from your podcast from easton story about his
Speaker 1: wife making an ultimatum, and I shot my shot and
Speaker 1: it works nice. I'm sharing this story so hopefully I
Speaker 1: can inspire some listeners or even one of you. After
Speaker 1: two long years of hiding feelings, a couple of fights,
Speaker 1: and a lot of hurt feelings, me, she's twenty three,
Speaker 1: and him, he's twenty seven, are very happily together. Turns
Speaker 1: out we've been feeling the same way about each other
Speaker 1: the whole time. He had some emotional issues he had
Speaker 1: to work through, and after a year and a half,
Speaker 1: I decided to finally let all my feelings. It was hard,
Speaker 1: but I decided having him in my life, even as
Speaker 1: just a friend, was more important than my feelings. Shortly
Speaker 1: after I started doing my own thing and thriving in
Speaker 1: my career, he confessed his feelings for me. My feelings
Speaker 1: came back in full force. I don't think they ever left,
Speaker 1: and I asked him to be my boyfriend. We're great
Speaker 1: for each other. He shows me and tells me how
Speaker 1: much he loves me every day, and we give each
Speaker 1: other space to be individuals while supporting each other's careers.
Speaker 1: It's the healthy, healthiest relationship I've ever been in. I'm
Speaker 1: in love with my best friend. I mean, shout out
Speaker 1: to Easton for inspiring Christine. I think, yeah, it should
Speaker 1: be a shout out to my beautiful, lovely wife Allison,
Speaker 1: because thank you. Yeah, she Alison um inspires a lot
Speaker 1: of great things and a lot of great people. So
Speaker 1: that's that's so great, Christine. That makes me so happy
Speaker 1: for you because it sounds like you're you guys are
Speaker 1: just perfect for each other. And uh, like she said,
Speaker 1: he had some emotional issues to work through. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: go back and I always wonder, like, what would how
Speaker 1: would my life be different if I had, like right
Speaker 1: off the bat, if I had just tried to date
Speaker 1: Allison like, but I was not a person that could
Speaker 1: be in the relationship that I'm like, like, had a
Speaker 1: lot of growing up to do. I had a lot
Speaker 1: of personal stuff to figure out. It sounds like this
Speaker 1: guy did too. So some of these things are just
Speaker 1: meant to be that way. You know, like, like like
Speaker 1: the love story of Jared and Ashley, you've seen a
Speaker 1: little bit of time to mature exactly. A nice cheese, yes, exactly,
Speaker 1: or a fine wine or a fine wine, or like
Speaker 1: a breakfast breeder or something like that. You know, breakfast
Speaker 1: a pizza because sometimes cold pizza is better than the
Speaker 1: hot pizza. It's nice to see a success story on here.
Speaker 1: You know, we got a lot of questions and a
Speaker 1: lot of people asking what they should be doing in
Speaker 1: the relationship. But not often enough do we get people
Speaker 1: like Christine who email us in and share their success
Speaker 1: story with us. That's awesome. I also think something that
Speaker 1: anyone listening to this should take from this is that
Speaker 1: she says, shortly after I started doing my own thing
Speaker 1: and thriving in my career, he confessed his feelings like
Speaker 1: all women should go out there and say effort to
Speaker 1: the men who don't know their worth. And like, I
Speaker 1: lived my life on my own and just kind of
Speaker 1: like became as a successful as I could until I
Speaker 1: was twenty four whatever. Um, single because it was like
Speaker 1: so important to me to have my own together. Sorry,
Speaker 1: we don't even believe together. Um. And then and then
Speaker 1: someone wonderful came into my life, and I think that
Speaker 1: guys really recognize like when girls have their stuff, it's
Speaker 1: incredibly attractive, absolutely, and it makes the guy want to
Speaker 1: get their stuff together as well. Like it's it's like
Speaker 1: concentive for them to be like, oh, wow, she's doing
Speaker 1: so well and is this inspiration for me? And now
Speaker 1: I need to do that just so that way she
Speaker 1: can even be interested in me in the first place.
Speaker 1: I think, um, and I will say to to Easton's
Speaker 1: point about taking a little bit of time to mature
Speaker 1: and like wondering if you guys had maybe gave it
Speaker 1: a shot earlier on, if it would be as successful
Speaker 1: as is now. That's at That's something that I've started
Speaker 1: telling people, like before there's any like escalation of a
Speaker 1: relationship at all, I'm like, look, I am in no
Speaker 1: place to be anyone's boyfriend or be going on dates
Speaker 1: with like anyone really, and honestly, it feels really good
Speaker 1: to say that to someone, especially someone that like I'm
Speaker 1: interested in, like romantically or physically. Like I'll just come
Speaker 1: right out and say and be like, listen, you should
Speaker 1: not be dating me or like if you any interested
Speaker 1: have any interest in dating me because I have a
Speaker 1: lot of issues I'm working through right now. I've said
Speaker 1: that I'm a couple of times lately you go on
Speaker 1: a date with someone and then tell them that or no,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't necessarily call it a date. But there have
Speaker 1: been times where, especially over the past couple of weeks,
Speaker 1: where you know, I'll be hanging out with groups of
Speaker 1: friends or something like that and someone will be like, like,
Speaker 1: start showing interest in me, and I can just openly
Speaker 1: and honestly be like, listen, like this is just I mean,
Speaker 1: nipp this, nipp this in the butt and kind of
Speaker 1: get ahead of it, um because if there I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously I don't really expect any of these relationships to
Speaker 1: turn into anything, but it's like like Eastern said, if
Speaker 1: you enter into a relationship too early, it might might
Speaker 1: not be salvageable later on because of the damage that's done.
Speaker 1: So it's just it's like, I don't know, that's kind
Speaker 1: of off topic a little bit, but it's something that
Speaker 1: I started doing, which is kind of relieving it off.
Speaker 1: It's just why because I think I'd be really sad
Speaker 1: if I was a girl talking to this guy and
Speaker 1: I was interested in this guy, and he said to
Speaker 1: me like, no, no, now is just not the time,
Speaker 1: Like that seems like such a cop out, but it's
Speaker 1: so early, being honest about it. But it's so it's
Speaker 1: like before there's any physical component to the relationship, before
Speaker 1: any feelings get invested. I'm like, look, like, just so
Speaker 1: you know, like there's no interest on my end to
Speaker 1: be in a relationship with anyone. That's really sweet, but
Speaker 1: it also makes me sad for you know. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's great, Honestly, it feels really good because before before
Speaker 1: I don't know if I was trying to convince myself
Speaker 1: that I was ready to be in a relationship or
Speaker 1: if I just thought that I was, But I would
Speaker 1: always be like I would always try and like purvey
Speaker 1: this readiness to be in a relationship, even though maybe
Speaker 1: deep down I knew that I was and or something
Speaker 1: like that. And so now it's nice to be able
Speaker 1: to be like, look, this is me, um, I still
Speaker 1: would not mind being your friend, but just so you know,
Speaker 1: we're not going to bring this any further than normally
Speaker 1: we would. Looking back at when you went on the Bachelorette,
Speaker 1: do you feel like you really shouldn't have been in
Speaker 1: a position where you could have been getting engaged in
Speaker 1: a matter of weeks. I think that Rachel made a
Speaker 1: very good decision letting me go when she did. But
Speaker 1: I think that, you know, obviously there I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think that her and Brian are very very key together,
Speaker 1: and I think that she definitely made the decision in
Speaker 1: that And like hindsight for you personally, maybe you're like
Speaker 1: at that time, you're ready. It's hard to come to
Speaker 1: terms of the fact that you might not be ready
Speaker 1: for something that you really really want, you know, um,
Speaker 1: and that this whole experience is kind of shed some
Speaker 1: light on that, I suppose, But but no, I think
Speaker 1: that wasn't That was Rachel's logic behind sending me home
Speaker 1: was you know, we liked each other, but she obviously
Speaker 1: didn't necessarily see my readiness and she has very good
Speaker 1: foresight and was able to make the right decision. So
Speaker 1: good for them. Yeah, Okay, there's one last email. Um,
Speaker 1: this is from how would you say that name? Denitria Dea? Okay,
Speaker 1: just really that's a beautiful name, she said. I just
Speaker 1: finished listening to the podcast this week, which was last week.
Speaker 1: Vanessa said something to Dean that I totally agree with
Speaker 1: She told him not to get too comfortable being alone.
Speaker 1: I'm living this myself. I divorced after being married for
Speaker 1: thirteen years. My kids were young, and after a couple
Speaker 1: of failed relationships. After my divorce, I decided to focus
Speaker 1: one percent on my kids. I have not dated for
Speaker 1: ten years. My kids are twenty two and twenty one now.
Speaker 1: But I've gotten so used to being alone. I'm positive
Speaker 1: it's because I do not want to put myself out
Speaker 1: there again. Heartbreak is hard. Dean enjoy being alone, but
Speaker 1: do not use it as a way to avoid trying
Speaker 1: or finding a relationship. It's way too late for me now.
Speaker 1: That's sad, but I hate seeing people not be vulnerable
Speaker 1: and do not want people to make the same mistakes
Speaker 1: as I have with with being okay with being alone.
Speaker 1: That's first of all, it's not too late, not at all.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's even Holly last week, who we
Speaker 1: had in here, who was in her late Flordia, said
Speaker 1: she was going on dates and meeting people all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. I think, I mean, that's my opinion
Speaker 1: on that. I think we'll call I'll call it be
Speaker 1: an agreement. Um So, she says Dean enjoy being alone,
Speaker 1: but do not use it as a way to avoid
Speaker 1: trying or finding a relationship. I think that the consensus
Speaker 1: that we've all kind of come to is you should
Speaker 1: maybe enjoy the solitude, but kind of live your life
Speaker 1: and if things happen as you said that they do
Speaker 1: as you can dedicate yourself to work and to yourself
Speaker 1: and all that kind of stuff. If someone enters your
Speaker 1: life that allows you to share it with them, I
Speaker 1: think that you don't want to fight it. But I
Speaker 1: think there's a distinct difference between fighting a relationship like
Speaker 1: like kind of not allowing it to progress, and then
Speaker 1: also just uh living honestly right and then allowing it
Speaker 1: to come into your life if it does. Because if
Speaker 1: you have to fight it, it probably isn't gonna be great.
Speaker 1: That's why a lot of relationships kind of especially That's
Speaker 1: why I'm not a big fan of ultimatums. I understand
Speaker 1: they have their success stories, but it's like, if you
Speaker 1: have to give someone an ultimatum, usually is not a
Speaker 1: good sign. I would say most ultimatums lead into unsuccessful relationships. Um,
Speaker 1: But that's why, you know, if you just kind of
Speaker 1: keep doing what you're doing. And I mean that's what
Speaker 1: I'm doing right now too. Like I said earlier, it's
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna lay all out there and whoever I'm
Speaker 1: talking to or ever, if I ever become interested in
Speaker 1: someone again probably a long shot. Again, I won't fight it,
Speaker 1: but I will be active to it if and when
Speaker 1: it comes. It sounds like Denetria is like afraid of
Speaker 1: getting heartbroken, which is why she hasn't put herself out there.
Speaker 1: It's got to be so much harder with kids. I
Speaker 1: can only imagine. Granted her kids are older and twenty
Speaker 1: two and so they fully understand, uh, you know, the
Speaker 1: whole process of meeting someone and dating someone and all
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. I remember actually after my mom
Speaker 1: passed away, my dad was like reinserting himself into the
Speaker 1: dating pool. Uh. And he would like sometimes come to me,
Speaker 1: like ask my opinion and my advice for things. When
Speaker 1: I was like seventeen, Uh, then it was weird. But
Speaker 1: even as a seventeen year old, you know, you still
Speaker 1: have enough awareness to really, like I guess lendon opinion
Speaker 1: um versus dating with like with a kid, um. You know,
Speaker 1: like I can only imagine what Amanda must go through
Speaker 1: which she has two younger kids, and she has to
Speaker 1: be very like cognizant and aware of the guys that
Speaker 1: she's introducing to her kids because they're at such a
Speaker 1: vulnerable state in their their life. Um so yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I don't understand, like she definitely is not a
Speaker 1: lost cause by any means, Nutria, but it's it's kind
Speaker 1: of sad. I hope she doesn't think that. I hope
Speaker 1: that she doesn't really mean that. I hope you listen
Speaker 1: to this and realize that there is hope still at
Speaker 1: any stage in life too. Will you always hear stories
Speaker 1: about like seniors even like people in their sixties or seventies, uh,
Speaker 1: like falling in love again and all this kind of stuff,
Speaker 1: Like I think that's that's a very beautiful thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my parents got divorced when I was about thirteen. Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, it's already been more than ten years. But
Speaker 1: they're both have really happily married again. And they didn't
Speaker 1: get married until I was like twenty one, so there's
Speaker 1: a lot of time in between there, like their husband
Speaker 1: for Denitria, But um yeah, they're both like probably the
Speaker 1: happiest I've ever seen them, so well, there it is
Speaker 1: a takeaway from that, don't give up, hope, keep fighting,
Speaker 1: let yourself fall in love if you so want to,
Speaker 1: but don't force anything. Um okay, well that'll do it
Speaker 1: for this week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating.
Speaker 1: Big thank you to our sponsor, Homesick Candles. Remember to
Speaker 1: go to homesick dot com use my code Dean that's
Speaker 1: d e a N for ten dollars off and free
Speaker 1: shipping when you buy two or more candles. Big thank
Speaker 1: you to Jared and Vaness Stuff for calling in from
Speaker 1: their respective locations. Big big thank you to Easton Erica
Speaker 1: and Tory for chiming in so so much this episode.
Speaker 1: Um next week we will have Jared back in studio.
Speaker 1: It'd be great to hear kind of what the kind
Speaker 1: of headway they made on their um wedding planning. And
Speaker 1: maybe I'll have some more dating stories for to share
Speaker 1: with you. I I doubt it, we'll see dream big anyways,
Speaker 1: Thank you again for tuning in. This has been help
Speaker 1: I Suck at Dating. Be shure to tune in next week,
Speaker 1: where maybe we'll suck a little bit less. Follow help
Speaker 1: by Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on
Speaker 1: I Heart radio or wherever you listen to podcast