Speaker 1: Hell I Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared
Speaker 1: and I Heart Radio podcast. Hello everyone, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for joining us on yet another episode of Help
Speaker 1: I Suck At Dating. My name is Dean Anglert and
Speaker 1: I am joined in studio by the dashing Jared Habon dashing. Huh,
Speaker 1: thank you for that intro is the first adjective that
Speaker 1: came to my mind. Next week, I'll give you something else,
Speaker 1: probably like asshole or something. Yeah, something like that. I
Speaker 1: appreciate that. Great episode for you guys. Today we have
Speaker 1: one of my personal favorites. Have you ever met this person? Uh,
Speaker 1: Danielle Well? I was going to tease it a little bit. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I just really spoiled out. Sorry, guy, Have you ever
Speaker 1: met this person that we're gonna have on our podcast?
Speaker 1: I actually do not think I have, which is quite funny.
Speaker 1: That's she's been on Bachelor figure She was on on
Speaker 1: one of our Dear Friends season Yeah. I forgot about that.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so we have a guest coming on. She
Speaker 1: was on my season of Bachelor Paradise season four, as
Speaker 1: Jared said, our good friend nick by all season. She's
Speaker 1: a nurse in Nashville, one of my favorite people from
Speaker 1: this show. As Tanya walks into the studio, Hey, Tanya. UM,
Speaker 1: one of my favorite people from this show Danielle Maltby,
Speaker 1: who she's a nurse practitioner in Nashville. So we're gonna
Speaker 1: have an STD centric episode today talking about the stigmas
Speaker 1: attached to them, what you should know if you have one,
Speaker 1: what you should know if you're dating, what you should
Speaker 1: know if you're thinking about being sexually active, all of
Speaker 1: the above. Yeah. I think it's a health and awareness podcast.
Speaker 1: It's okay, Tanny, do you want to tune in? And yeah,
Speaker 1: Tany you want to say Hi, Tanya just walked in it.
Speaker 1: She's getting her pink thermis her computer backpack. So sorry
Speaker 1: I needed. I'm so sorry. Do you want to join
Speaker 1: us for the st T Conversation? Um? I Actually I
Speaker 1: used to have HPV. Really, I think you've been pretty
Speaker 1: open about that because I think it makes people feel
Speaker 1: like I got it after I had sex with my
Speaker 1: first partner, right, So it was very traumatic for me
Speaker 1: and I really had like a hard time dealing with it,
Speaker 1: And so that's why I'm open about it now because
Speaker 1: I think it helps a lot of people at the time,
Speaker 1: Like I didn't know anybody that had it, so I
Speaker 1: literally thought it was like I'm gonna die. Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1: I think it brings a lot of comfort people to
Speaker 1: know that somebody in the spotlight also had it so
Speaker 1: they're not alone. Yeah, it was scary, but like honestly,
Speaker 1: all I had to do was just like like that's
Speaker 1: kind of why I live my life the way that
Speaker 1: I do now, like just very clean. Like I just
Speaker 1: had to eat really well, exercise like they tell you
Speaker 1: not to, like smoke. In literally six months, it was gone,
Speaker 1: been back. Knock on one, well, knock on wood. Thanks
Speaker 1: for sharing that with us, Um for the listeners out
Speaker 1: there that want to get to Tony a little bit
Speaker 1: better checkouts help scrubbing in with Bell and you rad
Speaker 1: thank you. I'm so sorry. I did not mean to interrupt.
Speaker 1: We can tell you in a rush, so thank you
Speaker 1: for even just jumping anytime. I love you as I'm
Speaker 1: not in a rush. I just don't want to be
Speaker 1: in your way. So I'll be right back there listening
Speaker 1: because I love listening to this pod. Thanks to you.
Speaker 1: We love you as always. Let's get to uh to
Speaker 1: answer in some question Shans Danielle, are you there? Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, it is so so great to hear your voice.
Speaker 1: How are you? I'm good too. It just puts a
Speaker 1: smile on my face ear to ear right now, Um,
Speaker 1: thank you so much, thank you so much for calling
Speaker 1: in and talking about STDs with us. So I just
Speaker 1: gave a brief introduction, obviously of your time on The
Speaker 1: Bachelor Bachelor in Paradise, and you are a working nurse
Speaker 1: in Nashville, and so who better than to share the
Speaker 1: wealth of knowledge that you have with our listeners Because
Speaker 1: as we were talking about, obviously STDs, no one wants them, right,
Speaker 1: but a lot of people will get them and then
Speaker 1: they get fearful of the having them and then getting
Speaker 1: them again. And um, there's a there's a lot of
Speaker 1: misinformation out there about them, right. So yeah, but Danielle,
Speaker 1: before we jump into it, just to go ahead and
Speaker 1: say hi to everyone, induce yourself all that. Hi, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm Danielle. That's a great interest. You've got more than that,
Speaker 1: come on, what qualifies you to help us answer the
Speaker 1: questions on the podcast? Okay, So I am a nurse.
Speaker 1: I've been a nurse for about twelve years. I worked
Speaker 1: primarily in the nick You and I'm also starting my
Speaker 1: own podcast for women in Medicine, so it's like a
Speaker 1: total health related thing. It's gonna be awesome. That very exciting.
Speaker 1: That is very awesome. Congratulations. I haven't actually congratulated personally
Speaker 1: about that, but I'm super excited for it. I'm definitely
Speaker 1: gonna listen. I'm really really excited for it, UM and
Speaker 1: definitely's let's plug that as many times as we possibly
Speaker 1: can on this episode. When is that? When is that dropping?
Speaker 1: When is that going to come out? It's gonna come out?
Speaker 1: June three called the wo Women in Medicine Wan and
Speaker 1: you are co hosting it with a friend of yours,
Speaker 1: another nurse. Yes, her name's also Dan Yelle, and I
Speaker 1: met her UM in Peru. We did a medical trip
Speaker 1: together down there and worked in UM some orphanages and
Speaker 1: it was a really beautiful experience. And she's an awesome
Speaker 1: human and I'm just so grateful she's going to do
Speaker 1: it with me. That's amazing. This is this is kind
Speaker 1: of off topic to the podcast episode today, but when
Speaker 1: I was in Peru, I was told of this bug
Speaker 1: and you probably heard about it too when you were
Speaker 1: down there working UM with with the people down there.
Speaker 1: This this bug that burrows into your skin and you
Speaker 1: can you can see it burrow and live inside your skin,
Speaker 1: but you can't excavate it from your body until it
Speaker 1: feeds off of you enough to be big enough to
Speaker 1: like squeeze it out. Are you do you know what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about? I don't know, maybe, but it's kind
Speaker 1: of severe. I remember when I was doing the incortrail,
Speaker 1: I met up with a kid who had two of
Speaker 1: them burrow into his skin, and he was just telling me,
Speaker 1: like they would like all gather around and have like
Speaker 1: the ceremonial thing where they would squeeze it and then
Speaker 1: the bug would come out and they would catch it
Speaker 1: in like this, uh this lid and they would like
Speaker 1: watch it. I don't know. Is this great? But maybe
Speaker 1: it is that that fly thing. I don't know. Um,
Speaker 1: it must be. And I'm just I'm I'm just being
Speaker 1: maybe over I'm not up on all of my epidemiology
Speaker 1: for as you should. As you should, I don't think
Speaker 1: you should be. Um, Okay, so we're gonna we're gonna
Speaker 1: ask you some STD related questions and you gonna help
Speaker 1: us answer it. Said, okay, And they're actually they've changed
Speaker 1: it from STDs to S t I S because um,
Speaker 1: which is actually transmit infections. Because um, it's a little
Speaker 1: less scary, I think, and like there are some that
Speaker 1: are treatable. Um, so that's like just the common term
Speaker 1: they're Ye, it's from disease to infection, is what you're saying.
Speaker 1: And the reason for that was just the classification of
Speaker 1: the thing. Okay, that's interesting. Yeah, just a classification of
Speaker 1: it makes it a little less intimidating. I think, like
Speaker 1: infections can usually be treated, diseases are more of like
Speaker 1: a longer disease process. I'm actually really gratefully you clarified
Speaker 1: that because last week Vanessa used the the acronym S
Speaker 1: t I and that was my first time really ever
Speaker 1: hearing it. In response, it starts to one of her
Speaker 1: not one of hers, but a story that she had heard.
Speaker 1: It just makes me think of um, um subru w
Speaker 1: r X S T I. I wonder one of those
Speaker 1: so bad when I was in high school. Uh, sorry,
Speaker 1: off topic, Jared, do you want to read? Do you
Speaker 1: want to read one of Vanessa's questions? Because soy. Vanessa
Speaker 1: obviously isn't on the podcast with us today, which is
Speaker 1: a shame. Because I know you and her are really
Speaker 1: good friends. But I left her very much. Yes, she's
Speaker 1: a wonderful, wonderful person. Um. But Jared, so you wrote
Speaker 1: some questions down, So Jared, you want to read one
Speaker 1: of them. Yeah, Hi, Danielle, how are you? Hi? I've
Speaker 1: never even met you with us, I know I've never
Speaker 1: met you either. How is Nashville? I was just there.
Speaker 1: It's a beautiful city. Oh my god, it's so freaking
Speaker 1: hot right now, but it's gorgeous. I love it down here.
Speaker 1: The South is great. It's freezing in l A. It's
Speaker 1: like fifty one degrees, which is freezing, and I'm jealous. Um, Danielle,
Speaker 1: you're also a neo A neo needle is how you
Speaker 1: pronounced it, A neo NATO nurse um, and that works
Speaker 1: with infants, right, Yeah, so I take care of babies
Speaker 1: that are born prematurely um or that are born term
Speaker 1: but have any sort of like respiratory cardiac um like
Speaker 1: chromosome anomaly. If I take care of them, Well, that's
Speaker 1: in Doble. Keep doing the incredible work that you're doing.
Speaker 1: But Vanessa, I did have some questions, as we all do,
Speaker 1: about s t oyes Um so as a woman, Danielle
Speaker 1: Vanessa wanted to know when should a woman start seeing
Speaker 1: a gynecologists and having a PEP test done? Can you
Speaker 1: also inform all our listeners what a PEP test is? UM,
Speaker 1: So you should be having UM like you should start
Speaker 1: me a gynecologist. The usually say when you become sexually active, UM,
Speaker 1: but I think, I mean that age is becoming so
Speaker 1: much younger. I think it would be good at least
Speaker 1: like by time you hit sixteen to go in and
Speaker 1: start having these tests. And during a PEP mere they
Speaker 1: check UM your service for any sort of sins of
Speaker 1: infection or cancer UM and they do a lot of
Speaker 1: um STI testing in that process. So it's just kind
Speaker 1: of looking at UM all the lady anatomy and making
Speaker 1: sure it's okay and free of like visas any part tramma. UM. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So your your advice is as soon as you start
Speaker 1: to even consider being sexually active. Yeah, okay, that's something
Speaker 1: to get mine. Is there a male equivalent for a gynecologists? Actually,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if there's male equivalent to it, But UM,
Speaker 1: men should also start I mean as soon as they
Speaker 1: become sexually active or think about becoming sexually active really
Speaker 1: need to start educating themselves on not only how to
Speaker 1: keep themselves face, but their partners face as well. So
Speaker 1: I will say that the female reproductive organs seem to
Speaker 1: be a little bit more complicated than the man's. They are, Yes,
Speaker 1: but um, I think I think guys you can usually
Speaker 1: just go into your normal doctor um and like during
Speaker 1: like you're yearly physical or something like that. UM asked
Speaker 1: if they have uh specific testing done. Places like Playing
Speaker 1: Parenthood are really great, um if you have if you
Speaker 1: even think you have any symptoms, because a lot of
Speaker 1: spis don't really present with a lot of symptoms or
Speaker 1: things that can kind of be overlooked. So um yeah,
Speaker 1: but like like Playing Parenthood or like your normal clinic
Speaker 1: and stuff like that offer really affordable testing for all
Speaker 1: SDI treatment and counseling on them as well well, depending
Speaker 1: on what state you're in. I guess it's really well.
Speaker 1: I think the equivalent for a guy of a kind
Speaker 1: of colleges is just your typical doctor's appointment. But they
Speaker 1: do the old cup and cough. You know, they got
Speaker 1: one of those in a while. They cop and they
Speaker 1: make a cough and apparently it tells him something um So.
Speaker 1: Daniel Vanessa also asked a question regarding HPV. She wants
Speaker 1: to know if you can explain what it is and
Speaker 1: how we can prevent it. And if someone got their
Speaker 1: GARDENSIL shot ten years ago, show they got what is this?
Speaker 1: You know the guarden the guard is there HPV. That's
Speaker 1: HPV shot, but it's the garden SOOT has changed in
Speaker 1: the past ten years, is what she's saying. What Vanessa
Speaker 1: means by guards as solid, that's like the Canadian version.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty I looked it up and it's it's the Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I got the garden still shot UM when I
Speaker 1: was like twenty or something too. So it's UM garden
Speaker 1: still is the shot that helped prevent a TV which
Speaker 1: UM can cause cervical cancer, but it can also it's
Speaker 1: not just for women like UM. I believe some testing
Speaker 1: has changed. I do believe men can now get UM
Speaker 1: the HPV vaccine as well UM because ah p V
Speaker 1: is human papuloma virus is what's responsible for general wars
Speaker 1: and while men can't get cervical cancer, they can also
Speaker 1: get things like anal cancer and UM SO by men
Speaker 1: getting the like the gardens still vaccine HPV vaccine. They're
Speaker 1: also helping to prevent that transfer to their partner, whether
Speaker 1: it be another man or another woman, so both men
Speaker 1: and women can get the vaccine. Yeah. Interesting, I literally
Speaker 1: had no idea it might be like age the limits
Speaker 1: on it though, because when I got the garden Still vaccine,
Speaker 1: it was like only women between sixteen and twenty six
Speaker 1: that have been tested on How did you learn about this?
Speaker 1: Because I literally have I've never heard of a man
Speaker 1: getting a garden sil shot before, right, So why was
Speaker 1: I never educated about this? It's a new thing, um,
Speaker 1: So like the men getting it, I think has only
Speaker 1: happened within the last maybe like two or three years.
Speaker 1: Don't quote me on that, but it's it's a newer thing.
Speaker 1: It was only it was first tested out in women
Speaker 1: as a way of preventing cervical cancer. So do you
Speaker 1: think that there's ever a point where it's too late
Speaker 1: to get that? Like for me being single and potentially
Speaker 1: sexually active, is it something that I should go out
Speaker 1: and ask my physician to do for me? Um? I
Speaker 1: would definitely ask, because I'm not is up to date
Speaker 1: on UM what age ranges the vaccine has been tested
Speaker 1: in and approved and for months. Um So I think
Speaker 1: that's something that like everyone should just kind of everyone
Speaker 1: should ask about next time I go in for a physical,
Speaker 1: I asked my doctor about that. That's I don't never
Speaker 1: even thought to ask. That's something that's I'm learning at
Speaker 1: as we come on this podcast. Um okay. Vanessa also
Speaker 1: wants to ask about birth control. And I'm familiar with
Speaker 1: different types of birth control. You can have the I
Speaker 1: U D, right, and then there's the pill all of
Speaker 1: that stuff. Vanessa specifically wants to know more about birth control,
Speaker 1: like season out where you get your period four times
Speaker 1: a year instead of once a month, and how that
Speaker 1: might affect your body physically, and if it's a good
Speaker 1: thing that thing, um, and just kind of what your
Speaker 1: take is on it. Yeah. So honestly, like first, control
Speaker 1: is different for every woman. Um, what one product might
Speaker 1: work really well for one woman doesn't work that well
Speaker 1: in another. It's kind of a whole trial and air process. Um. So,
Speaker 1: there's a birth control pill, there's an I D you
Speaker 1: can get, um, there's a thing called the depot shot.
Speaker 1: There's nuva ring, there's um and UH an implant, a
Speaker 1: hormonal implant that can go in your arm um. And
Speaker 1: what Vanette is talking about is essentially just taking um
Speaker 1: the same dose of estrogen pill for three or four
Speaker 1: months consecutively and then breaking for a week having a period,
Speaker 1: and then starting back up on it. Um. There's there's
Speaker 1: been a lot um that it works for a lot
Speaker 1: of women. Um and first time it doesn't like me personally,
Speaker 1: like my body just rejected. It doesn't it'll it'll fight
Speaker 1: through it um, but it's it hasn't been so like
Speaker 1: you don't necessarily have to have your period every month
Speaker 1: to maintain like a healthy female cycle. So it just
Speaker 1: depends on if your body is going to accept the
Speaker 1: hormones or if you're readers is like no, like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just kind of keep doing my own thing, but
Speaker 1: you're still expected from It's how similar we all are.
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, like such such
Speaker 1: minor differences, especially when it comes to your hormones, can
Speaker 1: make with you yeah um yeah. And so I guess
Speaker 1: your advice would then be just to make sure that
Speaker 1: you're taking the one that's appropriate for you. Yes, So
Speaker 1: on that note, go ahead, and if you're taking something
Speaker 1: like the pill in order for it to be like
Speaker 1: the nine percent effective. It has to be taking consistently
Speaker 1: at the same time of day. What about like if
Speaker 1: you miss a day or two, can you double and
Speaker 1: triple up on that third or second or fourth day? Oh?
Speaker 1: I mean like if you miss the day, like you
Speaker 1: can double up. But like, don't it there and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I haven't taken it for three days, I'm gonna like
Speaker 1: take four of them. Yeah, don't, don't. Don't do that.
Speaker 1: That could be bad. Well, So on that note, a
Speaker 1: similar topic in regards to Plan B here like the
Speaker 1: morning after pill, that that can pretty drastically alter your
Speaker 1: hormones in a much short amount of time, right, is there? Yes,
Speaker 1: And that's kind of like a last ditch resort obviously,
Speaker 1: that's why they call it Plan B. You don't recommend it,
Speaker 1: but in a in a pinch it it comes in handy.
Speaker 1: Is there ever a point where you can, like have
Speaker 1: taken it too many times? What is it? What's kind
Speaker 1: of your expert opinion on the Plan B situation? So
Speaker 1: Plan BY really is for emergencies only, um as it suggest,
Speaker 1: there are a lot of women who will just you know,
Speaker 1: that's their birth control, will just go and they'll take it.
Speaker 1: Um every time that they have sex, and that's that's
Speaker 1: not good for your body. Um. I mean like at
Speaker 1: that point, like just go take care of yourself, invest
Speaker 1: in a form of birth control that works best for you.
Speaker 1: I don't, like I wouldn't. I wouldn't try and use
Speaker 1: like like every month this year. But I guess the
Speaker 1: question is, like, let's say you're consistently sexually active, right,
Speaker 1: so you're on birth control, but I I know that
Speaker 1: a lot of girls, Like let's say you're you're not
Speaker 1: consistently having sex with new people or even with a
Speaker 1: with a significant other, and so you kind of get
Speaker 1: off the pill and then every once in a while,
Speaker 1: like you might go out and do something right and
Speaker 1: then you will have to take it in that instance.
Speaker 1: But let's say like that happens, you know, once a
Speaker 1: year for five years. Is it okay to take the
Speaker 1: morning after pill those five separate times, and like how
Speaker 1: does that affect your body body long term? Or is
Speaker 1: it just like for those if you're saying it once
Speaker 1: a year every five years, Like, no, that's not going
Speaker 1: to do anything. Yeah, but just don't use it as
Speaker 1: like you're common every day. Birth control sounds expensive too,
Speaker 1: It's like fifty bucks. Well it is, it's like fifty bucks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know whoever want to do that.
Speaker 1: But um, okay, we have a couple other questions that
Speaker 1: are our listeners emailed into us that you can definitely
Speaker 1: help talk about. But first we're going to take a
Speaker 1: quick break. So actually, weirdly enough, in our last like
Speaker 1: two or three episodes, we've had a lot of herpies
Speaker 1: talk okay, Um, And it's always a touchy subject because
Speaker 1: herpes is one of those that it's less treatable than
Speaker 1: the others. Right, yeah, so once you have herpies, you
Speaker 1: have it. Um. It is not curable, and it's also
Speaker 1: something that can be spread from like it can really
Speaker 1: affect your sexual reproductive How would it affect your reproductive
Speaker 1: reproduction system? Um? Like, it's just full of things that
Speaker 1: like moms can transfer to. Well, I know that there's
Speaker 1: the most common form is oral herpies. Right. It's transferred
Speaker 1: through like mothers kissing their children. Um. And then so
Speaker 1: children contracted at like a young age and then go
Speaker 1: through their life thinking they've never had it when in
Speaker 1: reality they do. Is that right? No? Um, Like you
Speaker 1: aren't going to get that just from like kissing people. Um, well,
Speaker 1: I mean take that back at one you can get
Speaker 1: um that's like for all herpies, like your cold stories
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, but you can also have the
Speaker 1: genital version of one from do those very inseverity from
Speaker 1: one of the next I'm not his up today on that,
Speaker 1: like you probably have to ask like on that. Well,
Speaker 1: let's okay. So this is a specific example, then this
Speaker 1: person has a question for you. It's less medical. It's medical,
Speaker 1: but it's also kind of I guess in a way philosophical,
Speaker 1: where she says about eight years ago, I contracted herpes
Speaker 1: from my long term boyfriend. He was diagnosed the day
Speaker 1: before I was. I felt like my whole life was over.
Speaker 1: At years later, I've only dated one person. I've made
Speaker 1: myself except that I'm okay being alone. She wants to
Speaker 1: know how would you recommend bringing up the topic and
Speaker 1: how long into dating would you recommend it be brought up,
Speaker 1: And that's something that we've talked about on the podcast
Speaker 1: as well, like how many dates do you go on
Speaker 1: before you bring something like this up? And what words
Speaker 1: of advice would you have for someone that might be
Speaker 1: dealing with that. Um, honestly, I mean, like I would
Speaker 1: want to know right off the bat before anything got
Speaker 1: UM sexual. Yeah, but I think, um, I would. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want anyone to feel like they're like resigned to
Speaker 1: being alone because of that. UM. There are a lot
Speaker 1: of counseling services for UM people that have been diagnosed
Speaker 1: with herpies and how to like kind of navigate the
Speaker 1: dating world, how to have those conversations. UM. So my
Speaker 1: advice would be to try and find like a support
Speaker 1: group and and try and find some some guidance that way,
Speaker 1: because I I can't really speak to that, you know,
Speaker 1: like I would. I would want to know right off
Speaker 1: the bat, but that would I mean, I can I
Speaker 1: can empathize with how isolating that that would feel. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: And that's that's kind of the thing too, UM is
Speaker 1: it's hard to put yourself in those shoes because obviously
Speaker 1: it's something that that if you haven't had to deal
Speaker 1: with it, you um yeah, we have. We have another
Speaker 1: one from anonymous. She says is oral sex sanitary. I
Speaker 1: don't like participating unless I'm literally freshly showered. But in
Speaker 1: talking with others, they don't think it's a big deal
Speaker 1: for them. So what do the experts say about oral sex.
Speaker 1: H Yeah, I mean I think you should probably always
Speaker 1: try and maintain cleanliness in um in your genitals. I
Speaker 1: mean that, I mean knowing. I mean that's just like
Speaker 1: a pleasure that no one wants to go down on
Speaker 1: an if you're like healthy, like peoper self clean um.
Speaker 1: But there are things like gentle dams or like even
Speaker 1: flaster wrap in a pinch, like if you want to
Speaker 1: engage in in any sort of like oral sex. So
Speaker 1: do you think oral sex is more intimate than genital sex? RaSE?
Speaker 1: It depends on the person. I think it is. You
Speaker 1: think it's more intimate. Anything you put your mouth on
Speaker 1: is more intimate, because I do know a lot of
Speaker 1: people that will not go down on someone unless they
Speaker 1: know them a lot more. But they'll, you know, they'll
Speaker 1: obviously like engage in regular sex much more liberally than
Speaker 1: they would by going down on them, which I always
Speaker 1: I though kind of interesting and I think I kind
Speaker 1: of practiced the same thing without really being as conscious
Speaker 1: to it. Yeah, what do you what do you think, Danielle,
Speaker 1: I'm curious. I don't know. I love it all. So
Speaker 1: you don't discriminate, No, I don't discriminate it do it
Speaker 1: feels good. But I guess that I'm um basis of like,
Speaker 1: what's more intimate? I think it's yeah, No, I find
Speaker 1: both to be very extremely intimate. So I agree, But
Speaker 1: think about it this way. Let's put let's paint a picture.
Speaker 1: You go on a date. It's going really well. You've
Speaker 1: had a couple of drinks. You guys are getting along well,
Speaker 1: he's making you laugh, you're making him smile. Eventually you
Speaker 1: get back to one of your apartments and you know,
Speaker 1: clothes start to come off, and this is again, you
Speaker 1: don't know this person very well. In my opinion, I
Speaker 1: think you're much more quickly to have sex with that
Speaker 1: person than to go down on them, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean In my experience as well, I think in
Speaker 1: practice that's just kind of how I've always seen it. Well,
Speaker 1: I also think that sex is mutually pleasurable. Oral sex
Speaker 1: is more pleasurable for one party. Well, it might be
Speaker 1: a little bit more of a not a chore. I
Speaker 1: don't want to put chore on there, but obviously it's
Speaker 1: an act for one person. And then we're not and
Speaker 1: we're not in high school anymore, so we're not sixty
Speaker 1: nine ng, right, whence the last time you're sixty nine
Speaker 1: with someone, you sixty nine someone in high school I
Speaker 1: had a girlfriend. Yeah, you had a far different high
Speaker 1: school experience and school at sixty nine? You what you
Speaker 1: try to no, Like in high school, No, I was.
Speaker 1: I was too scared. I was not as like, isn't
Speaker 1: that more of an adult? I think that just as
Speaker 1: a curious seventeen year old, you're like, what can we
Speaker 1: do now? What's sixty nine? And sex did you have
Speaker 1: in high school? What what can we do now? Like
Speaker 1: it's you're already bored of sex right junior year exploring things?
Speaker 1: You're like curious and you're doing thing. I was just
Speaker 1: very sexually active seventeen year old with my girlfriend. But
Speaker 1: we're like, oh, like that was cool. What can we
Speaker 1: do that's even cooler? And I will say I will
Speaker 1: say that since being seventeen years old, I have sixty
Speaker 1: nine exactly zero times. So I'm just saying you're right
Speaker 1: Jared's point, it's very Uh it's one sided oral sex, right,
Speaker 1: Like one person is getting pleasure unless the other person
Speaker 1: gets pleasure from giving pleasure, which isn't uncommon. No, I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people do. Um, So Danielle's the
Speaker 1: last time you're sixty nine. I mean, I'm by the way,
Speaker 1: I'm using that for the swipe up this week on
Speaker 1: the podcast Swipe Up to find out what last time
Speaker 1: dan yellee um. But also for that particular email or
Speaker 1: anonymous about oral sex. We you can still contract an
Speaker 1: STI from oral sex. Correct, Yes, you absolutely again, because
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people have a misconception about
Speaker 1: But is it is it less or all you can
Speaker 1: get any STD from oral or is it just a
Speaker 1: select few? I mean it's pretty much still um any
Speaker 1: sort of sexual contact. You can get UM at anything. Really, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess because it's the mucus membranes, right that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a that's learned a word I learned in high school.
Speaker 1: Pretty proud. Yeah, And so okay, let's come paramucus membranes
Speaker 1: on the inside of your mouth to the inside of
Speaker 1: your genitals for a woman, right, like are they obviously
Speaker 1: there's they're they're molecular makeup is different, but the way
Speaker 1: that they can absorb these types of S t I
Speaker 1: S is the same. Well, there's so much um, there's
Speaker 1: so much blood flow, so that it's so highly vastorized
Speaker 1: and that's why it's so sensitive, right, Yeah, okay, mhm.
Speaker 1: And but I don't know, I have I have a
Speaker 1: lot of questions that I don't really know how to
Speaker 1: ask because I don't know how to verbalize them, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Yeah, um, okay, So that makes sense.
Speaker 1: So it's so you can get just about any STD
Speaker 1: through oral that you can through genital contact as well. Good.
Speaker 1: But I don't know that. I honestly have no idea.
Speaker 1: So I'm I'm I'm wearing a bunch um we have. Also,
Speaker 1: we have a lot more emails, but this one's from
Speaker 1: Renee uh and it says, why do some people guys
Speaker 1: and girls get offended when you ask them to take
Speaker 1: an STD in this case s t I screening before
Speaker 1: becoming intimate? Daniel, what are your thoughts about that? I
Speaker 1: think everyone's sick and should I like, I feel like
Speaker 1: so much of the responsibility is put on women to
Speaker 1: prevent pregnancy, to prevent SPI s, and it's like, you're
Speaker 1: basically it's your own personal health that's at risk, and
Speaker 1: if you are not man enough to respect on yourself
Speaker 1: or the fact that you might get someone else sick,
Speaker 1: you should not be having sex, like I don't. I mean,
Speaker 1: like I wouldn't be offended at that. I would be like, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I like respect my my sexual health. I respect your
Speaker 1: sexual health, like just it should be part of every
Speaker 1: time you go to the doctor, be like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: want to have a screening, like make sure I'm good
Speaker 1: to go. Yeah. I think Renee probably has encountered people
Speaker 1: who have big egos and question why anybody would think
Speaker 1: that they have an s t I, as if it's uh,
Speaker 1: you know, a negative thing. Uh. And then secondly common
Speaker 1: so common. Well that's what I was going to say.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I'm curious if she's also encountered people who
Speaker 1: might think they have one and are just in denial,
Speaker 1: because I feel like a lot of people who might
Speaker 1: think they have some towards some sort of st I
Speaker 1: just won't get checked because they're too scared of what
Speaker 1: your results might show. Yeah, but in that case, it's
Speaker 1: like your risk of making someone else sick even if
Speaker 1: you weren't sure if you're sick, Oh totally. Whoever does
Speaker 1: that is a horrible person. You know you should find
Speaker 1: out for the sake of not just yourself, which you
Speaker 1: should find out for yourself, for your own health purposes,
Speaker 1: but also for other people that you might become intimate
Speaker 1: with because there's a possibility of you transferring it. Let's
Speaker 1: talk Let's talk about U T I s for a second,
Speaker 1: because you T s are much more common, right, very common. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So what exactly is a U T I so a
Speaker 1: U C I s urinary tract infection? So, um, any
Speaker 1: sort uh, And they're very common. They're more common for
Speaker 1: women because our your recal tract is so much smaller.
Speaker 1: It's shorter than men. So men you have like the
Speaker 1: entire length of your penis. Women have it's maybe just
Speaker 1: like may like an don't help me on that, but
Speaker 1: I feel like it's only about an inch. Okay, sorry,
Speaker 1: I have five year old. It's so pathetic. No, it's fine.
Speaker 1: I D two. So it's kind of it's hard to
Speaker 1: have like a social conversation right now. Um. But so,
Speaker 1: UTIs are caused by any sort of bacteria that like
Speaker 1: your normal skin bacteria. Everyone has bacteria on their skin
Speaker 1: that just kind of lives there. But when you're having sex,
Speaker 1: like it's someone else's um natural body bacteria that getting
Speaker 1: like pushed up and like mud own you know with yours.
Speaker 1: So for women it's very common. It's it's again it's
Speaker 1: a shorter pathway into um the bladder, your threat. It's
Speaker 1: just a bacterial infection. So like U t I s
Speaker 1: are treated with antibiotics UM and if you're into like
Speaker 1: more natural treatments, there's you can do, like a regano
Speaker 1: instead of Cramba juice is a big one too, right, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but like straight up CD juice and so obviously, well,
Speaker 1: I guess it's not obvious, but I've never experienced T
Speaker 1: I would assume you've never experienced the ut I either, Jared,
Speaker 1: I have not. What is the sensation is it just
Speaker 1: is it like a burning It's like it's burning when
Speaker 1: you urinate, and you can it can get as bad
Speaker 1: as like you just almost feel like you have the flu.
Speaker 1: Sometimes is actually reacting so like you have body aches,
Speaker 1: you have a fever um and it just it hurts
Speaker 1: so much. It might feel like you can't like fully
Speaker 1: empty your bladder, like you go in the bathroom and
Speaker 1: then you're like, I feel like I still have to pee,
Speaker 1: but like nothing, like I can't make anything come out.
Speaker 1: And it can be very very beautiful. So I would
Speaker 1: imagine a lot of people missed diagnose themselves for having
Speaker 1: an STD, but in reality it's like a U T.
Speaker 1: I yeah, And so what would your advice be for that?
Speaker 1: I mean obviously it's always the advice could always be
Speaker 1: to seek out a medical professional and have them diagnose you.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's so it's so easy, and like, honestly,
Speaker 1: like the safest thing, like if you're not feeling well,
Speaker 1: if you are having symptoms that you might even have
Speaker 1: like the tiniest little inclination that it it could be
Speaker 1: something more serious than a U T. I like, just
Speaker 1: go to the doctor. There's so many. I mean, you
Speaker 1: have your walk you have clinics at Walgreens, you have UM,
Speaker 1: your plant parents, whether you have I mean you have
Speaker 1: walking clinics everywhere, Like, um, what's what's the lifespan of
Speaker 1: e T? I typically? Well, I mean them before where
Speaker 1: I like it didn't go in. I tried to like
Speaker 1: just do the whole cranberry juice thing, and I got
Speaker 1: really sick. Like it was so if left untreated, they
Speaker 1: can go up into your bladder, and if they are
Speaker 1: left in your bladder too long, and then they can
Speaker 1: even travel up into your kidneys. And cause an infection
Speaker 1: there because it's a straight lines and your rethreat to
Speaker 1: bladder to like your your kidney, So it's you're always
Speaker 1: like in your best interests to go to a doctor.
Speaker 1: It's super easy in a cup, you being a cup
Speaker 1: basically for U T I for any spies, um, and
Speaker 1: they'll they'll run the test and we'll see what's going
Speaker 1: on and then they can treat you there. I know
Speaker 1: women that p after having sex to try to prevent
Speaker 1: a U T I is U T I excuse me?
Speaker 1: Is that? Uh? Is that true or is that a myth? No?
Speaker 1: That's true. Um, it might not like full prevented, but
Speaker 1: it's a really good practice because um, by urinating after sex,
Speaker 1: you are flushing your erefra out, so like you're helping
Speaker 1: to flush any of that bacteria that might have UM
Speaker 1: come in. You're you're just flushing it out. So would
Speaker 1: you you would encourage women after sex to Yeah, after intercourse,
Speaker 1: it's always a good idea to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 1: Would you ever recommend would you ever encourage a guy
Speaker 1: like I say, okay, let's say I had sex, right
Speaker 1: and obviously who knows, it's probably never gonna happen it,
Speaker 1: but you never know. Let's say that I have sex
Speaker 1: with someone, Well, you're very active. At seventy I had
Speaker 1: a girlfriend. Okay, he was already bored looking for new things.
Speaker 1: Let's try sixty nine. We were exploring each other's bodies
Speaker 1: as very healthy as long as you're doing it safely.
Speaker 1: We were, we were, but so okay. Let's say let's
Speaker 1: say I find a new partner and after sex, she
Speaker 1: doesn't seem to be going to the bathroom. Do you
Speaker 1: think it would be appropriate for me to encourage her
Speaker 1: and be like hey, or maybe like a conversate, be like, hey, like,
Speaker 1: don't you think you should go use the restroom? Or
Speaker 1: is that like is that overstepping a boundary for me?
Speaker 1: Do you think, um, yeah, I don't know. I've never
Speaker 1: had a guy'd be like, hey, you should probably go
Speaker 1: be that's kind of weird to say, right, I don't
Speaker 1: think so. I think I think it. It could be,
Speaker 1: But it's also I think that's part of conversation that
Speaker 1: I feel like it needs to happen. I think I
Speaker 1: think there needs to be more open, open conversation about
Speaker 1: you know, sexual health and understanding of you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: I would actually no, I would be like, no, I
Speaker 1: appreciate that, Like, yeah, why why would that be overstepping boundaries?
Speaker 1: Because I guess it would just be me working under
Speaker 1: the assumption that I know more about their body than
Speaker 1: they do, which obviously isn't the case. No, but you're
Speaker 1: just trying to help. I mean, heart's in the right place.
Speaker 1: I suppose I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, exactly, totally. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I guess you're absolutely right, So I guess. On that note,
Speaker 1: sort of sort of on that note, we have an
Speaker 1: email from Kylie who says is it valid to break
Speaker 1: up or stop pursuing someone just because they have STDs?
Speaker 1: Because she thinks that we have seemed to demonize STDs
Speaker 1: and sexual talk in our society. So do you think
Speaker 1: that kind of expert opinion aside just maybe more your
Speaker 1: personal opinion? Um, do you think it's valid to break
Speaker 1: up or stop pursuing someone just because they have STDs?
Speaker 1: Um Man, that's the super personal thing. Again. That kind
Speaker 1: of doubles back to, you know, um, the other women
Speaker 1: who wrote in feeling like very isolated because things like
Speaker 1: chlamydia and sciphilis, tricklonis gnorrhea, those are like the four
Speaker 1: main STDs that are spies that are all treatable, like
Speaker 1: you can go you can take antibiotics for them, um
Speaker 1: and you don't have them anymore. But things like HIV,
Speaker 1: ah UM, happetitis, you know, things like that aren't treatable.
Speaker 1: But there are things like into rest virals that you
Speaker 1: can go on that kind of do the virus a
Speaker 1: little bit um that makes me not as prone to
Speaker 1: like transfer them. So kind of like that that shot right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it it's well guard stills a vaccine so that
Speaker 1: just you know, um that was differently been anti like
Speaker 1: the retrovivals, dur anti virals and stuff. Um. But it
Speaker 1: all comes down to what you're comfortable with as far
Speaker 1: as safe sex process. So yeah, it's a tough one.
Speaker 1: I mean, like if if you really care about this person,
Speaker 1: you see like a future with this person, then like
Speaker 1: you booked to go to ConFlat figuring figure out like
Speaker 1: what's the best way, what's like safest healthiest way to
Speaker 1: um not contract a disease from each other or I mean,
Speaker 1: if that's not comfortable for you, and then you don't
Speaker 1: have to be with someone just because you might feel
Speaker 1: bad about leaving. If you don't want to be with
Speaker 1: someone don't it's on an individual basis. I think this
Speaker 1: is kind of a gray area that's really difficult to answer.
Speaker 1: And it goes back to our first email by Anonymous,
Speaker 1: which is when do you bring up the herpies talk.
Speaker 1: We were talking a little bit about it last week
Speaker 1: because I think while you want to tell them early on,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. I don't know if you mentioned it
Speaker 1: on the first date. I don't know what the correct
Speaker 1: answer is. I agree that the most obvious correct answer
Speaker 1: is before anything intimate happens, you need to tell that person. Um.
Speaker 1: We got kind of as many negatives that can come
Speaker 1: from the Bachelor franchise, there are many positives as well.
Speaker 1: Dating within the franchise is easier because you're you're everyone's
Speaker 1: been tested before another show, so it's like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: I know, I don't have to worry about this being
Speaker 1: an issue. Not that you normally would worry about that
Speaker 1: in regular dating anyways, but you just can rest much
Speaker 1: easier knowing that it's essentially an issue because everyone that's
Speaker 1: on the show at that point has been tested and cleared,
Speaker 1: and yeah, it's good to go. Um. I wonder if
Speaker 1: they've been cleared. I guess they've been cleared yet, who's
Speaker 1: there anybody who's been on the show tested? Well, you
Speaker 1: have to or could they have to be given medication
Speaker 1: to to uh suppress it at least? Right? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't I honestly don't know. Well, you get tested
Speaker 1: before going on the show, Yes, yes you do. That's
Speaker 1: what That's what I'm saying. So, I mean, if you're
Speaker 1: if you continue to have like sexual partners before you
Speaker 1: go on the show. True, then mother too unless you're
Speaker 1: using um like condoms and and and like things like
Speaker 1: pharmacide or something like that to prevent pregnancies and prevent
Speaker 1: transvest We actually we had an email from Dean Dean.
Speaker 1: Is this you or is this a listener named Dan?
Speaker 1: Oh that's cool. I don't even realize that. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: and then we have a listener named Dean, which is fantastic.
Speaker 1: What's up my fellow Dean Dean? Thank you for the email.
Speaker 1: But it asked do condoms stop all forms of herpes?
Speaker 1: And I would ask as well, do condoms stop all
Speaker 1: forms of s? T I S? Daniel? Um? Tons aren't condoms?
Speaker 1: Aren't one effective that they are? The most effective barrier
Speaker 1: that we have right now to prevent st What about
Speaker 1: like doubling up on a condom? Yeah, what if I
Speaker 1: wear two condoms? No, I mean you're no, I don't
Speaker 1: think you need to double up on condoms. I mean
Speaker 1: you would have to unless you're talking about using you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you could use a female condom
Speaker 1: and the mail. I don't know if that's like what
Speaker 1: if the female wears two and I wear two as
Speaker 1: a man, just to be so supremely safe. I've actually
Speaker 1: is that, like, like I feel like they would get stuck.
Speaker 1: Got a lot of wigle room down there, Daniel, you'd
Speaker 1: be surprised about whatever one regular size and then one
Speaker 1: magnum put it right over the time. I will say
Speaker 1: I've never personally done that, but I've heard some horror
Speaker 1: stories of doubling up can actually add to a lot
Speaker 1: more friction between the late taxes and it's not good. No,
Speaker 1: I would imagine that doesn't sound comfortable. But I will
Speaker 1: say a lot of extra lub helps with condoms to
Speaker 1: prevent staring. Yeah, that's that's smart. Yeah, get loubing condoms.
Speaker 1: Was going to say something for found but excited about UM.
Speaker 1: Abby has a question how many times? And again? I
Speaker 1: know that it's kind of weird because we kind of
Speaker 1: go from like expert medical opinion to like your own
Speaker 1: personal opinion. But Abby wants to know how many times
Speaker 1: a month or year should she be getting tested? In
Speaker 1: your opinion? Allay? In my opinion, I would get tested
Speaker 1: with UM each new partner. With each new partner, Oh, yes,
Speaker 1: I think that's very fair. So Dean, how many times
Speaker 1: a year would you say he should be getting tested? Wow,
Speaker 1: that's a very person no question. I will say I
Speaker 1: get tested on average twice a year. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: that's a good number. You said, what every show? Okay, rude?
Speaker 1: Actually no, I don't think I had to get tested
Speaker 1: before Paradise last two years ago because I was so
Speaker 1: fresh on They don't within the same year. No, I
Speaker 1: got tested twice. Really, I got tested for The Bachelor
Speaker 1: and then I got tested for Paradise. Maybe they thought
Speaker 1: you were being sexually active. I didn't definitely get tested.
Speaker 1: I don't even think I got tested for Winter Games. No,
Speaker 1: maybe I did because I got facinations for India as
Speaker 1: well at the same time. UM. We have another anonymous emailer.
Speaker 1: She says, Hi, Hello, Hi, I'm yeah, I'm a virgin,
Speaker 1: but I messed around. Can you get an STD from
Speaker 1: messing around? And? I think this goes back to what
Speaker 1: we talked about earlier, is the answer is yes, surely?
Speaker 1: Yet right? Sorry? I guess I should have read that
Speaker 1: one fully before asking it. No, but it makes sense.
Speaker 1: Is there other like? Well? So? Well? I mean there's
Speaker 1: kissing obviously, so I guess kind of on that topic
Speaker 1: as well. April wants to know is the only way
Speaker 1: you can get an STI from sexual contact or can
Speaker 1: you get it from other things? She said she's heard
Speaker 1: a rumor about toilet seats and it wants to know
Speaker 1: if that's true. Okay, listen, if you're worried about getting
Speaker 1: an SCNA toilet seat, like someone would have had to
Speaker 1: like just have come on that toilet seat, not wiped
Speaker 1: it up, and you would have to like grind or
Speaker 1: vagina on a toilet seat to get or any sort
Speaker 1: of I mean, is anybody else imagining that scenario right
Speaker 1: now in their head? I the only one. Isn't it
Speaker 1: true that uh, that sperm once it's ejaculated from the penis,
Speaker 1: it basically loses all of its like reproductive value and
Speaker 1: it's uh, disease carrying ability like almost within like five
Speaker 1: seconds or am I making that up? I don't think
Speaker 1: it's five seconds, but it definitely has a short life
Speaker 1: span outside of the body. Do you know the origins
Speaker 1: of sexually trans infections and diseases? Like how did this?
Speaker 1: How did these become things? Obviously like years and years
Speaker 1: like millions of years ago, but but how how how
Speaker 1: does it happen? Was it? I remember hearing something like
Speaker 1: someone a billion years ago had sex with an animal
Speaker 1: or something and that's how it started. And that's what
Speaker 1: I've heard as well. A monkey, a monkey, you know what?
Speaker 1: I honestly don't know for sure, but like the phlist
Speaker 1: has been around for ever, the philis as oh it
Speaker 1: actually that reminds me. I'm sorry, I'm kind of all
Speaker 1: over the place at the moment. You said you said
Speaker 1: earlier that hepatitis is a sexually transmitted disease. That's that's
Speaker 1: possible or that's possible to transmit sexually. Is that true
Speaker 1: or did I miss here? Yeah, Peppy is um And
Speaker 1: that's another reason why they do the vaccines so early,
Speaker 1: is um kids too, UM, because it's helped prevent like
Speaker 1: some for for like six million deaths throughout the um
Speaker 1: throughout the world by vaccining, uh, could be separately against
Speaker 1: things happy. So most American children have been vaccinated for
Speaker 1: hepatitis B, though correct. And once you're vaccinated, are you
Speaker 1: basically immune to the disease or is it just you're
Speaker 1: less much less likely to get it? No, you won't.
Speaker 1: You won't get UM a disease once you've been well.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't get a disease like you've been vaccinated against it.
Speaker 1: But I mean they're always are UM some like light
Speaker 1: irregularities in each vaccine and each body's ability to um
Speaker 1: fight it off. I mean, like perfect examples of Pooh vaccine.
Speaker 1: You know, they try and get as many sort of
Speaker 1: UM ranges of the virus into each one, but um,
Speaker 1: they can't account for every single strain of virus. I
Speaker 1: don't know what's funny. I don't think my parents were
Speaker 1: ever anti vaxers, uh, But I do know that when
Speaker 1: I was when I was trying to enter fifth grade
Speaker 1: from elementary to middle school, I wasn't allowed to enter
Speaker 1: into my middle school because I had missed like seve
Speaker 1: into my vaccinations that I was supposed to get as
Speaker 1: a toddler, and I think I think in part it
Speaker 1: was due to our like we lived in in an
Speaker 1: our view around the country for a long long time,
Speaker 1: and so maybe we didn't have the means to do it.
Speaker 1: But I wasn't allowed to enter fifth grade until I
Speaker 1: got six vaccinations. UM, so I had to go to
Speaker 1: this this this like this hospital and had to get
Speaker 1: six of these vaccinations and they were the biggest freaking
Speaker 1: needles and they hurt so bad. And I wasn't technically
Speaker 1: a legal student of the Colorado school system until I
Speaker 1: got those vaccinations. I don't know where I'm going with this,
Speaker 1: but it was just one of those things where I
Speaker 1: was like, you don't realize how many things, especially um
Speaker 1: in today's world, like the smallpox vaccinations, all these things
Speaker 1: that used to be such big epidemics, but now we're
Speaker 1: like obviously slowly eliminating even though we're creating new diseases
Speaker 1: and types of cancers and stuff like that, which is
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, what the heck movement, And I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: you guys gonna probably get like some hate on that,
Speaker 1: and we can keep pro anti vax I'm sorry, we
Speaker 1: could be pro vaccination pro vax but I'm saying pro
Speaker 1: anti anti vaxxers, I guess is the point. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: People sit there and they're just like, well, it's there's
Speaker 1: somalde hyde in these vaccines and they're putting formalde hyde in.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm like, your body naturally produces fmalde hyde. Okay,
Speaker 1: there's a big argument to that vaccinate. The vaccinations lead
Speaker 1: to higher rates of autism. Right now, spend bunks dead
Speaker 1: Land that put out that um uh study um is.
Speaker 1: He might even be in jail right now. He put
Speaker 1: it out for a specific purpose like it there's no
Speaker 1: scientific fact like proving that at all. And I'm sure
Speaker 1: this it's sorry after this, it's really really close to
Speaker 1: home for you as well. Being a neon natal nurse,
Speaker 1: you see it all the time. Well I'm sure I
Speaker 1: hopefully don't see that the anti vaccine all the time,
Speaker 1: but you work very closely with children who are obviously
Speaker 1: going through a lot of issues and dealing with a
Speaker 1: lot of this stuff. Yeah, and then there's and I
Speaker 1: see a lot of babies that can't get certain vaccines
Speaker 1: yet because of their age, who come in um very
Speaker 1: sick and have passed away because they've been exposed to
Speaker 1: someone who divided not to vaccinate their kids, right, Wasn't that?
Speaker 1: Why am I blanking? There was news recently over the
Speaker 1: past few months or so about a particular vaccination that
Speaker 1: wasn't getting done, and there were a few few fatalities,
Speaker 1: and there was this whole controversy about people not getting vaccinated.
Speaker 1: I can't remember exactly what it's from, and obviously nobody
Speaker 1: else can because nobody's speaking up about it. So forget
Speaker 1: I said anything. Or are vaccinated children at risk around
Speaker 1: non vaccinated children? No, non vaccinated children aren't. Um. Wait,
Speaker 1: but let's let's say. Okay, so let's say I have
Speaker 1: some children and I vaccinated all of them and they're
Speaker 1: hanging around children who have not been vaccinated. Are my
Speaker 1: children at risk hanging around those non vaccinated children or
Speaker 1: is it just the ones that dont? It depends on
Speaker 1: how old they are, because as um, different vaccines are
Speaker 1: done at different ages. UM. So there's I think it's
Speaker 1: like different like three six, nine months. There's like a
Speaker 1: whole different range of vaccines um that you can get
Speaker 1: that are okay at that age. So if um, if
Speaker 1: your child is not old enough to be vaccinated against
Speaker 1: something yet and they're around someone who hasn't been vaccinated
Speaker 1: um or has been um or like has been exposed
Speaker 1: to the disease, like they're at risk of getting that.
Speaker 1: M gotcha. So word advice for our listeners out there,
Speaker 1: if you're having children, vaccinate your children. Right this educators
Speaker 1: felt on them like read everything on them me. Obviously, Yes,
Speaker 1: I want you to vaccinate your kids. I'd I'd rather.
Speaker 1: I mean, like, it's the risk out weighs the benefit
Speaker 1: out weighs the risk. Well, what's the risk? I there's
Speaker 1: there's very few cases where like somebodies have rejected UM
Speaker 1: the vaccine, or they've gotten very UM gone into like
Speaker 1: an autommune response UM. But and and those those types
Speaker 1: of things. UM, do you scare a lot of people
Speaker 1: from vaccine their kids. But it's like a one in
Speaker 1: a million chance. And don't want me on that statistics either,
Speaker 1: but it's very very rare. Well, and the chance of
Speaker 1: that is much uh smaller than the chance of them
Speaker 1: getting another disease that they would have been vaccinated from
Speaker 1: had they gotten vaccinations. Right, That's what you're saying. It's
Speaker 1: like the risk the benefits outweigh the risk in that sense,
Speaker 1: because you're protecting them from so many other things, you
Speaker 1: have a higher risk of contracting UM one of these
Speaker 1: diseases and been actually like dying or being dying from
Speaker 1: getting the vaccine itself. Exactly. Um, how all are you
Speaker 1: knowledgeable in vaccination vaccinations Danielle, because I want to ask
Speaker 1: a lot of people get nervous when talking about vaccinating
Speaker 1: their their kids or even themselves because they're nervous about
Speaker 1: putting whatever disease that they're supposed to be vaccinated against
Speaker 1: into their body. Is that true that each vaccination has
Speaker 1: a small amount, Like if you're getting vaccinated for I
Speaker 1: don't know, the flu, they actually give a little part
Speaker 1: of the flu to you. Yeah, it's like a deactivated
Speaker 1: virus m or it's like a weekend version of the virus.
Speaker 1: So your body UM built these like cannon bodies and
Speaker 1: stuff to it. Um it would help them to like
Speaker 1: fite it off. Danielle, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1: It was really nice meeting you over the podcast, and
Speaker 1: I really hope to meet you in person one day.
Speaker 1: We love you, And for our listeners, don't forget to
Speaker 1: check out Danielle's new podcast called The womad Yeah Girl,
Speaker 1: premiering June third, Instant Twitter June third, Um, I will,
Speaker 1: I mean, I can only imagine you want me as
Speaker 1: a big as a guest on that podcast Jarremy Bowl
Speaker 1: talk all about your um congratulations again, Yeah, congratulations again.
Speaker 1: That's awesome and obviously in your your day to day
Speaker 1: as a neonatal work nurse over in Nashville. Um, you're
Speaker 1: killing it and we are better people just being your friends,
Speaker 1: and we appreciate you taking the time to answer. Love
Speaker 1: you a big time and I can't wait to see
Speaker 1: your face and talk to you again soon. Thanks again
Speaker 1: for taking the time day, no problem, all right, all right, bye,
Speaker 1: okay bye. Well we are all just a tiny bit
Speaker 1: smarter after that conversation. That's what That's when you know
Speaker 1: you're talking to good people when you can leave a
Speaker 1: conversation and be a little bit smarter. Um. Okay, Well
Speaker 1: that'll do it for this week's episode of Help I
Speaker 1: Suck at Dating. Hopefully you guys are a little bit smarter,
Speaker 1: because Jared and I both are. I think we all
Speaker 1: are right. That was very informtive from Daniel. The nice
Speaker 1: thing about relationships, it's just that you don't have to
Speaker 1: worry about this stuff. Yes, that is nice. It's no
Speaker 1: longer on the table. Have you ever had like a scare?
Speaker 1: I've had chlamydia before. I told you that the writing
Speaker 1: the best had chlamydia. Don't have it anymore? That's good. Um,
Speaker 1: but let's go um. But it's granted, it's not something
Speaker 1: I think people typically lose sleepover, Like, you're not gonna
Speaker 1: be like shaking in your bed. I wonder if I'm
Speaker 1: ever going to contract an STD. But it's just the
Speaker 1: peace of mind of I'm the only single person in
Speaker 1: this room. I don't know if you guys have had
Speaker 1: to worry about S T I S in years. Well,
Speaker 1: I disagree. I feel like a lot of people who
Speaker 1: had sex with a new partner immediately afterwards think oh
Speaker 1: ship did I immediately after the fact, I'm thinking something
Speaker 1: generally like oh, what if I meet someone in three
Speaker 1: days and I want to sleep with them and him?
Speaker 1: And like it's just not something that I know. But um,
Speaker 1: I'm envious of you guys for not having to worry
Speaker 1: about that. I've been tested my whole life. I was
Speaker 1: about to ask you, do you still get tested? No,
Speaker 1: you've never been had never even once. I've been tested ever,
Speaker 1: really get very personal question. Is your wife the only
Speaker 1: woman that you've slept with? No, that's not you can
Speaker 1: ask me that and no, that is not the case. Okay,
Speaker 1: Can I ask another question? Sure? Have you ever had
Speaker 1: unprotected sex? Was? I don't know. There's a long time ago,
Speaker 1: so it just it wasn't something that we talked about
Speaker 1: very much. So it just didn't come up. I mean, truthfully,
Speaker 1: I probably should have been at some point, but I
Speaker 1: never was, and I never read any symptoms anything. And
Speaker 1: now it's been twenty two years, so I'm pretty much
Speaker 1: home free. Yeah, STDs can lie dormant for twenty three years.
Speaker 1: It's it's interesting because the mark we know now would
Speaker 1: have gotten tested immediately, but that's not the mark responsible
Speaker 1: thirty years ago or whenever. Yeah, right, not that date
Speaker 1: you it happening. What could I do you seen as
Speaker 1: a married man? Have you been tested at all? Yeah?
Speaker 1: We did that on our wedding night. We we did
Speaker 1: get when we when we got engaged, we got we
Speaker 1: both got tested. Yeah, because it had been a couple
Speaker 1: of years from me. I've been a man about town,
Speaker 1: you know, I had sex with one other woman I
Speaker 1: think at that time when you got engaged, as we're
Speaker 1: dating before when we were when we got engaged, we
Speaker 1: were like because we were like, you know, and now
Speaker 1: we're gonna be married, we should probably we were sexually
Speaker 1: active before you Oh yeah, yeah, very fair. Yeah, every night.
Speaker 1: But I hadn't been tested in a couple of years
Speaker 1: and she I don't think she had either, So we
Speaker 1: just wanted to make sure and uh, and it felt
Speaker 1: great to have that peace of mind. You knew it
Speaker 1: was wanted, like a medical confirmation. You know. Sometimes you
Speaker 1: hear the stories of like, oh, yeah I was at
Speaker 1: a year and all that. Then I and I nicked
Speaker 1: it and then you know, and I got an STD
Speaker 1: from talking about the toilets. Yeah maybe I went yeah,
Speaker 1: and never Joina on not toilets. I went in a
Speaker 1: public pool, you know, things like that. So I just
Speaker 1: wanted to make sure and it was it was fine.
Speaker 1: I always had protected sex when I was a single man.
Speaker 1: For you, Wow, very good for you. Yeah, never something
Speaker 1: up once. Huh. I wouldn't say that, and Jared Uh
Speaker 1: as an engaged man, I would you have no need
Speaker 1: to get tested, not anymore. I got tested. Uh, I
Speaker 1: got tested before actually though, just to like make sure
Speaker 1: sure before we started going down that road. Now, what
Speaker 1: happens if like some if just randomly like add a
Speaker 1: physical when you guys get tested and you pop for
Speaker 1: like gunnery or something like what acmes a lot of
Speaker 1: questions that comes a lot of ques. Well, if you
Speaker 1: ever watched Seinfeld, you know you can get gnaria from
Speaker 1: a tractor. That's what I'm saying. You never know, I
Speaker 1: know it is as you get older, you become more
Speaker 1: aware of these things like Eastern You even said like
Speaker 1: a public pool. It's like, yeah, I guess, I guess
Speaker 1: that's possible. Remember, and as a paranoid human being, there's
Speaker 1: always that doubt in my head. Back in like two eight,
Speaker 1: there's this big epidemic in Aspen because there's a lot
Speaker 1: of horses out there and there was horse for piece
Speaker 1: that was being spread. But it wasn't being spread via x.
Speaker 1: It was an airborne herpes that only horses could contract.
Speaker 1: Could you imagine if herpes was an airborne disease for
Speaker 1: humans that be terrified if it evolves to that one day? Honestly? Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, thank you so much for listening to this
Speaker 1: week's episode of Help. I suck at dating. Um, hopefully
Speaker 1: we can all suck at dating but not suck at
Speaker 1: getting tested, practicing safe sex, and just being communicative with
Speaker 1: our sexual partners. Thank you so much for listening. Big
Speaker 1: thank you to Daniel Maltby for being our expert medical
Speaker 1: advice giver. Be sure to check out her podcast, The Wolmad,
Speaker 1: coming out June three. Be sure to tune into next
Speaker 1: week's podcast. We're recording from Wango Tango this week. This
Speaker 1: next week, Wango Tango from st d S to Wango.
Speaker 1: I think that we're gonna suck a little bit less,
Speaker 1: so just be sure to tune in. Then follow hell
Speaker 1: by Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast