1 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: There was this research done that said, if you're standing 2 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: at the bottom of a mountain and you're looking up 3 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: at that mountain, if you're all by yourself, you would 4 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,800 Speaker 1: say to yourself, there's no way I can climb that mountain. 5 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,440 Speaker 1: But the sheer presence of another human being, even if 6 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,960 Speaker 1: they're back, is face to you that you then look 7 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 1: at that mountain and you say, oh, there's a twenty 8 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:27,480 Speaker 1: percent probability that I can get through that. When that 9 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 1: person turns around, and if you know them, that shoots 10 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: up to like fifty percent, and the closer that they 11 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,199 Speaker 1: get to you, if they will stand beside you and 12 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 1: literally say nothing, in your mind, you believe I have 13 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 1: one hundred percent probability that I'm going to scale this mountain. 14 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,360 Speaker 1: And it's this idea, this research that was done that says, 15 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:51,200 Speaker 1: there is no mountain too high, no valley too low. 16 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 1: There is nothing that we as human beings can't get 17 00:00:54,440 --> 00:01:00,200 Speaker 1: over or through if we have a consistent health, the 18 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: supportive relationship that will navigate life with us. 19 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:12,120 Speaker 2: Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. 20 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:15,960 Speaker 2: I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, I'm a father, 21 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:19,960 Speaker 2: I'm an entrepreneur and I've been a football coach in 22 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 2: Inner City Memphis, and that last part it somehow led 23 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:27,120 Speaker 2: to an oscar for the film about our team called Undefeated. 24 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 2: I believe our country's problems will never be solved by 25 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 2: a bunch of fancy people and nice suits using big 26 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:37,319 Speaker 2: words that nobody understands on CNN and Fox, but rather 27 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 2: by an army of normal folks us just you and 28 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 2: me deciding, Hey, you know what, maybe I can help. 29 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 2: That's what Susan Ramirez. The voice we just heard is done. 30 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 2: Susan started standing alongside some boys experiencing foster care as 31 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 2: they went up the mountain together, and that led her 32 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 2: to create National As, which now has nineteen chapters in 33 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 2: fourteen states, where volunteers are currently standing alongside three thousand 34 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 2: kids experiencing foster care and they're foster parents. I cannot 35 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 2: wait for you to meet Susan right after these brief 36 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 2: messages from ours and our sponsors, Susan Ramirez Austin, Texas 37 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 2: south by Southwest was my first exposure to the entertainment 38 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,919 Speaker 2: world for time I'd ever been in Austin, and you're 39 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 2: from kind of a cool vibe place, you. 40 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 3: Know, that's right. 41 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:55,360 Speaker 1: We have a tagline that says, keep it weird. I 42 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 1: love this city so much because, well, this is the 43 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: city that has really wrapped around the world work that 44 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,240 Speaker 1: we do. But people are so good here and so 45 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 1: kind here. It's funny because you know, we've had a 46 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: lot of transplants come in from all over the country. 47 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 1: And there was a time when there was a billboard 48 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 1: when you'd get off the airport and you would come 49 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 1: into Austin, there was a sign that said, welcome to Austin, 50 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 1: but please don't move here because there's so much here. Yeah, 51 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:24,519 Speaker 1: there's so much in the way of enticement to come 52 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 1: to a city like this. The food's great, music's great, 53 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: culture is great, and it really is becoming a melting 54 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 1: pot of people from all over the country that I 55 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 1: believe make this city really special. In fact, my husband 56 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 1: and I we bought our home twelve years ago. We 57 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: for sure couldn't afford the home that we're living in 58 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 1: now just because of the real estate. How much things 59 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: have just grown and expanded. It's been unbelievable. I think 60 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 1: they said there was like a thousand people that move 61 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,080 Speaker 1: here every day. Don't quote me on that. 62 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 4: But you grew up like Corpus Christie, Is that right? 63 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 1: Yes, Yeah, I grew up in Corpus Chris was born 64 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 1: and raised in the same home for eighteen years. It 65 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,640 Speaker 1: was a home that was filled with a lot of love, 66 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 1: but not much of anything else. We were my two 67 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 1: brothers and I, along with my mother and father, were 68 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 1: in about a thousand square feet and my mom was 69 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 1: a stay at home mom who grew up really had 70 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 1: a challenged childhood herself, and so she wanted to do 71 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: things differently and kind of opened our doors to whoever 72 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 1: needed a home, and so at any given moment, my 73 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 1: brother would have a friend, we had a cousin live 74 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 1: with us, and it was just like more is more 75 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:46,080 Speaker 1: is more in a very small but loving home. 76 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,360 Speaker 2: So you were kind of raised to have, I mean, 77 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 2: I guess not raised to have, but the illustration of 78 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 2: life that you had coming up was someone was from 79 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 2: someone who nurtured people who sounded like they didn't have 80 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 2: other places to go. 81 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:06,800 Speaker 3: H yeah, definitely. 82 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 2: Okay, So here you are, Susan Ramirez from Corpus CHRISTI 83 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:17,880 Speaker 2: grew up, you know, middle class, middle of the world. 84 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:22,599 Speaker 2: Things started the corporate dream, working selling homes. 85 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 4: Husband as a construction company. 86 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 2: You have two sons, and your living life and doing 87 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:35,160 Speaker 2: the good old fashioned American living life thing. 88 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,919 Speaker 1: That's correct, and then all of a sudden, my life 89 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,400 Speaker 1: completely changes in a matter of minutes. 90 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 2: You know, spoiler alert. What you do now is called 91 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 2: Austin angels. But what Austin angels is excuse me, national angels. 92 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:51,600 Speaker 4: So go back to. 93 00:05:52,520 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 2: That, how why, and please really vividly illustrate for us 94 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,839 Speaker 2: the experience you had when you went to the conference 95 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 2: with the judge and he gave you the two opposing 96 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 2: stories of the boys. 97 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 4: Give us let everybody know all of that if you would. 98 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:19,159 Speaker 3: Yeah. 99 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,119 Speaker 1: So I had sold a home to a CPS worker, 100 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:25,760 Speaker 1: a State case worker, and had a conversation with her, 101 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 1: and she had invited me to foster care and adoption conference. 102 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,680 Speaker 1: And I had always felt like in my life adoption 103 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 1: was going to play some role, but didn't really know 104 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 1: what that meant or what that looked like. So this 105 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,479 Speaker 1: was in October of twenty ten. Now I'm working in 106 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:45,839 Speaker 1: corporate America. I have no vision whatsoever to be running 107 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: a nonprofit. But my whole life changed when she invited 108 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,280 Speaker 1: me to this conference, and so I went, and when 109 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,159 Speaker 1: I walked into the conference. We had this little pamphlet 110 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,919 Speaker 1: that was given to us and you could circle and 111 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 1: identify which classes and breakout sessions you wanted to go to. 112 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:06,280 Speaker 1: And I had circled all of the adoption ones. And 113 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 1: she said, Susan, I'd like for you to go and 114 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 1: listen to this judge speak. He's going to be speaking 115 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 1: on foster care. And I said, no, I'm not really 116 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 1: interested in that. I don't know how to love on 117 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: babies and let them into my home and have them leave. 118 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 1: I'm not interested in that. She said, well, you know, Susan, 119 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 1: the interesting thing about foster care is that it's not 120 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 1: really about you, and wouldn't it be nice for someone 121 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,440 Speaker 1: like you to open up your home to a child 122 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 1: who so desperately needs it. And it was kind of 123 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,400 Speaker 1: that kick in the pants moment where I said, oh, okay, 124 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: well sure, I'll go in and listen. And so I 125 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: said in this room, small classroom with a soft spoken 126 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 1: judge who got up in front of the room and 127 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 1: he said, I'm going to tell you a story about 128 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: two little boys that have come in and out of 129 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 1: my courtroom. But it's so emotional for me that I'm 130 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 1: just going to allow you to read their kind of case, 131 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: their profile sheet, their rap sheet. I'm going to let 132 00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 1: you read it because I can't get through it without 133 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: getting emotional. And so he puts this projection screen up 134 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 1: and it was split right down the middle, and he 135 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 1: had told one little boy's story on the left, Jimmy's 136 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,040 Speaker 1: story on the left, and Tommy's story on the right. 137 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 1: And within minutes of what we were reading, everybody began 138 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 1: to grab tissues because what you were reading was how 139 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: many moves. 140 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 3: The boys had been. 141 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 1: And so it had listed twenty two and twenty three 142 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 1: different placement changes, It had listed all of the psychotropic 143 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: meds that they were put on, and it had also 144 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: listed all of the abuse that was documented, and their 145 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: profile sheet. And so it was really horrific and sad 146 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,560 Speaker 1: what you were reading. And the judge says, before he 147 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 1: begins his kind of presentation, if you will, he says, 148 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 1: not everybody's called to foster, and not everybody's called to adopt, 149 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:54,440 Speaker 1: but everyone can play a role and make a difference 150 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,680 Speaker 1: in a child's life, and we each should try to 151 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: do something. And he said the little boy on the 152 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 1: left hand side of the screen, no matter how many 153 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 1: times he moved, he did really well in school. Well, 154 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:10,319 Speaker 1: that's a novelty because most children in foster care will 155 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: move on average seven times in two years, and so 156 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,360 Speaker 1: that's seven new mommies and. 157 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:21,960 Speaker 2: Daddies seven times in two years. 158 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, so a child will move so frequently that every 159 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: time they move, they're six months behind from an educational standpoint. 160 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,760 Speaker 1: And that's why children and youth who grow up in 161 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,559 Speaker 1: foster care only about fifty percent of them will graduate 162 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,520 Speaker 1: high school. And it's not because they're not smart. It's 163 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 1: because of the inconsistency and how many times they move. 164 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 1: And we know that ninety seven percent of youth who 165 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,320 Speaker 1: age out of the foster care system, we know that 166 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,560 Speaker 1: ninety seven percent will not earn a college degree, even 167 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:59,080 Speaker 1: though in most states they have a full ride. And 168 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,920 Speaker 1: again it's not because they're not smart. It's because by 169 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: the time a child ages out at eighteen years old, 170 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,199 Speaker 1: they don't have simple things like a driver's license. 171 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 3: They've moved so often that. 172 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:14,400 Speaker 1: They lose their social Security and birth certificates, that important paperwork, 173 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,680 Speaker 1: and they have nobody to navigate next steps with them. 174 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,839 Speaker 1: And so what happens is our system is set up 175 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:25,520 Speaker 1: that they provide care for kids until they're eighteen, and 176 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 1: then the doors open up and they say figure it out, 177 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 1: best of luck. 178 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:30,520 Speaker 3: They may give them. 179 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 1: Money to three hundred bucks for them to figure it out, 180 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:39,320 Speaker 1: but then they don't have any place to go, and 181 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:43,080 Speaker 1: it's very hard to navigate what resources are available. Now, 182 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 1: this is going to be different and dependent on county 183 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,840 Speaker 1: to county and state to state. But the judge told 184 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,200 Speaker 1: a story about what happened to two little boys in 185 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:55,199 Speaker 1: Central Texas, and so the judge says that no matter 186 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,320 Speaker 1: how many times the little boy on the left hand 187 00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,960 Speaker 1: side of the screen, no matter how many times he moved, 188 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 1: he always did really well in school, which is like, 189 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 1: how does that happen? 190 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:05,680 Speaker 3: I don't know. 191 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:10,040 Speaker 1: But the little boy was in foster care for six years. 192 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 1: So he went into foster care at two years old, 193 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,760 Speaker 1: and then finally he would bounce back and forth for 194 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 1: the next six years in and out of foster care 195 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,800 Speaker 1: from biological family. They would go back and he'd get 196 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 1: put back into the system, go back, and then until 197 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 1: he was eight years old. At eight years old, the 198 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 1: parental rights were finally terminated, which means that he was 199 00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 1: never going to go back to biological family and that 200 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:39,200 Speaker 1: now he was eligible for adoption. Well, they have these 201 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 1: things in Central Texas, and they have them all over 202 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 1: the country. In fact, there was a movie made out 203 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 1: of it called Instant Family with Mark Wahlberg. 204 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 3: I don't know if you. 205 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 1: Ever saw that movie, but it's a real life story 206 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 1: about a set of caregivers who were looking to adopt 207 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 1: and they would go to these picnics and you can 208 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:02,400 Speaker 1: meet children who are eligible to adoption at these picnics, 209 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,000 Speaker 1: and so there was a real life movie that was 210 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:08,560 Speaker 1: made to demonstrate that. And then what happened was that 211 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,800 Speaker 1: little Jimmy on the left hand side of the screen 212 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,560 Speaker 1: at eight years old, when his parental rights were terminated, 213 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 1: now he was eligible to go to these picnics and 214 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 1: meet mommies and daddies. Well, what ended up happening was 215 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 1: that he would go to these picnics year after year 216 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 1: after year, and when he would go to these picnics, 217 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 1: he was never chosen or adopted, and so it was 218 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,080 Speaker 1: pretty heartbreaking for him to go every year. And what 219 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,280 Speaker 1: ended up happening was he was like, how can I 220 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:41,079 Speaker 1: show that I'm worthy of being loved and being adopted? 221 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,000 Speaker 1: So he takes his report card and he puts it 222 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,319 Speaker 1: in the back of his pants pocket and he goes 223 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 1: up to all the mommies and daddies and he hands 224 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 1: them the report card and he says, I make good grades. 225 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:53,480 Speaker 3: Choose me. I'm a good boy. 226 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 1: And the judge says that this young man goes every 227 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:01,400 Speaker 1: single year, starting at eight years old, every year trying 228 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 1: to prove that he's worthy of being loved, but he 229 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:08,200 Speaker 1: never gets adopted. And right at eighteen years old, he's 230 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,840 Speaker 1: now living in a residential treatment center. He's about to 231 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:14,680 Speaker 1: age out of the foster care system, and the director 232 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:17,680 Speaker 1: comes to him and he says, son, you have been adopted, 233 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,280 Speaker 1: and he said, what do you mean, I've been adopted. 234 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,680 Speaker 1: I've wanted to be adopted my whole life. And the 235 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 1: judge says that in that moment, the director tells him 236 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,080 Speaker 1: your father will be here soon to get you. And 237 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:33,360 Speaker 1: so the young man irons his shirt and he's standing 238 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,280 Speaker 1: on the footsteps of the residential treatment center and the 239 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: father comes to him and says, son, I am sorry 240 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 1: that it has taken me eighteen years to find you, 241 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,400 Speaker 1: but you will never have to worry about where you 242 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,640 Speaker 1: go from here, that you are my son until the 243 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,720 Speaker 1: day that I die, And the judge spoke about how 244 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 1: that dad moved that young man in with him at eighteen, 245 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 1: had a new mom, dad, brother, and they just wrapped 246 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,120 Speaker 1: him with love and support and community, and they end 247 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 1: up putting him through school and he had a desire 248 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: to go to seminary school. And then he created a 249 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: foster and adoption placement agency. And the judge says that 250 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 1: that young man grew up to place kids in healthy, 251 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:17,520 Speaker 1: happy homes, and he contributed back to society and that 252 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 1: there's even redemption at eighteen years old. And he said 253 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,400 Speaker 1: to the classroom, but I want to reiterate that not 254 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 1: everybody's called to foster and not everybody's called to adopt, 255 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:29,880 Speaker 1: but everyone can play a role and make a difference 256 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,680 Speaker 1: in a child's life. And he said, because the other 257 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:36,120 Speaker 1: little boy on the other side of the screen, while 258 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:40,480 Speaker 1: his story looked virtually identical to the other little boy 259 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:44,800 Speaker 1: with the same amount of placement changes, psychotropic meds, abuse, 260 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 1: literally an identical rap sheet, except for he turns eighteen 261 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 1: years old and there's no one there to rescue him. 262 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:57,040 Speaker 1: So what happens is the residential doors the center opens, 263 00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:00,280 Speaker 1: he walks out with his grocery sack full of belonging, 264 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 1: and he's got nowhere to go, and so he just 265 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 1: walks near the freeway. And what the judge believed was 266 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 1: that he was walking to go to a homeless shelter, 267 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 1: but because he had no hope and had no community whatsoever, 268 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 1: he just begins to walk until he can find the 269 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 1: nearest freeway and he throws himself in front of an 270 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 1: eighteen willer and he committed suicide. 271 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 3: And the judge says, it is. 272 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,880 Speaker 1: So problematic for us as a community to never understand 273 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 1: what that young man's life was supposed to become. That 274 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,720 Speaker 1: it is a disservice to all of us that we 275 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 1: will never see what he was supposed to grow up 276 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 1: and become. That that could have been a future teacher 277 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:46,840 Speaker 1: or mechanic or lawyer, we will never know, and we're 278 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 1: all robbed because of it. And just spoke from a 279 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 1: place of like, we know that people have the ability 280 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 1: to transform other people's lives through our words and through 281 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 1: our actions. And I sat in that classroom, I walked 282 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 1: in somebody different than when I left. It was this awareness, 283 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:12,680 Speaker 1: this like you know, the blinders had been taken off. 284 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 1: I never knew anybody growing up that was in foster care. 285 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,840 Speaker 1: I didn't know the statistics that are plaguing the child 286 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 1: welfare system. But in one hour, my whole life completely changed, 287 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 1: and I felt I am a woman of faith, and 288 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:33,320 Speaker 1: I believed that in that very moment that God had 289 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 1: said to me, now this is your burden to bear, 290 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 1: and I want you to do something about it. And 291 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,760 Speaker 1: so I left that conference feeling the weight of the world. 292 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:48,880 Speaker 2: And now a few messages from our gender sponsors. But first, 293 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 2: I hope you'll consider signing up to join the army 294 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:56,440 Speaker 2: at normal folks dot us. By signing up, you'll receive 295 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 2: a weekly email with short episode summaries in case you 296 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:03,160 Speaker 2: happen to miss an episode, or if you prefer reading 297 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:22,920 Speaker 2: about our incredible guests, we'll be right back. One thing 298 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:27,199 Speaker 2: I've talked, you know, we've highlighted stories of three or 299 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:32,120 Speaker 2: four different people working in and around the foster care 300 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:33,440 Speaker 2: system and. 301 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:38,680 Speaker 4: What they do. And I really love what. 302 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:42,680 Speaker 2: You guys do because you keep saying it and it's true. 303 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:47,119 Speaker 2: I mean, not everybody's called to foster children. And I 304 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,920 Speaker 2: got to be honest with you, Susan. 305 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 4: I'm not. There's no way. 306 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:57,920 Speaker 2: I just don't even It takes a really unique special 307 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,919 Speaker 2: person to be able to open their home them and 308 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:06,640 Speaker 2: bring in children who have already had years. And even 309 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,520 Speaker 2: if you bring in a seven year old, we know 310 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,000 Speaker 2: that the most formative years of a child's life are 311 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:17,399 Speaker 2: between three and six, and so you're bringing in a 312 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,679 Speaker 2: seven year old who looks like a little seven year 313 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:23,000 Speaker 2: old person, that's going to be perfectly valueable. But the 314 00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:28,800 Speaker 2: reality is so much of what that children is is 315 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,840 Speaker 2: the experiences they had those first seven years, and so 316 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,399 Speaker 2: when you bring that kid in, you're bringing in also 317 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 2: their trauma, you're bringing in their abuse, you're bringing in 318 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,840 Speaker 2: all of the bagg as it comes with them. And 319 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 2: thank god, there are people in this world that are 320 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 2: willing to do that. But that's hard, and that's opening 321 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 2: yourself up to an enormous amount of stuff. 322 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 4: And so we can have a heart for kids in 323 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,240 Speaker 4: foster care, we. 324 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:03,359 Speaker 2: Can also be like, I just can't do that, but 325 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,560 Speaker 2: I want to help. And you've come up with a 326 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 2: way to be involved in foster care without being a 327 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,160 Speaker 2: foster person, but be just his integral part, which I love. 328 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 2: And that's a little bit of spoiler which're going to 329 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:21,119 Speaker 2: get to. But to emphasize where you went from there 330 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 2: and why it was so important. You know, one of 331 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,439 Speaker 2: the demographics I know is there's I think four hundred 332 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,920 Speaker 2: thousand kids in foster care in the United States. Now, 333 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 2: I think that were that's right. But share with us 334 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,159 Speaker 2: some of the statistics of not only the kids that 335 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 2: the numbers of kids are in foster care, but what 336 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:45,199 Speaker 2: the statistics say about the people in our prisons, the 337 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 2: people who are traffick, the people who are in prostitution, 338 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 2: the people who are are homeless, the people who are addicts, 339 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:54,359 Speaker 2: and the. 340 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,640 Speaker 4: Percentages of all of these people. 341 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,600 Speaker 2: And pragmatically, we have to say, when you you're involved 342 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:04,000 Speaker 2: in that world, you're probably also involved in the criminal 343 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,159 Speaker 2: justice system. You're probably involved in a lot of the 344 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:11,520 Speaker 2: societal ills culturally that we're having all these arguments about 345 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 2: about the homeless, in drug abuse and the evolving door 346 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:21,320 Speaker 2: of the prison system. I think the statistics you give 347 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,400 Speaker 2: us will should wake us up to you know, if 348 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,120 Speaker 2: we're not struck by the. 349 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,800 Speaker 4: If we're not struck by the social. 350 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,840 Speaker 2: Impact of this, the pragmatic impact of this is we 351 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:38,119 Speaker 2: can better our culture by fixing the foster care system. 352 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:41,320 Speaker 4: But share with the statistics to prove out what I 353 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 4: just said. 354 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're absolutely right. 355 00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:47,719 Speaker 1: So one of my most favorite quotes is by Desmont Tutu, 356 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,399 Speaker 1: who says, there comes a point in time where we 357 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,119 Speaker 1: have to stop pulling people out of the river. We 358 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,879 Speaker 1: have to go upstream and find out why they're falling in. 359 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,360 Speaker 1: And for us, what we know is that every social 360 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,359 Speaker 1: issue our country faces if we just go upstream, what 361 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,480 Speaker 1: we know is that it all started in foster care. 362 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:10,480 Speaker 1: And so what we know through data and stats is 363 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:16,160 Speaker 1: that our country will spend billions with a B billions 364 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:21,280 Speaker 1: of dollars on an anequated system that fails children more 365 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:25,600 Speaker 1: often than it does for them to succeed. We know 366 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:30,600 Speaker 1: through data that our caregivers. I have been in this 367 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 1: work now for so many years, and I have yet 368 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:38,800 Speaker 1: to come across a family who was in it quote 369 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 1: unquote for the wrong reason. 370 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:44,400 Speaker 3: I'm telling you there is a this. 371 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,560 Speaker 1: So often when I get out and I speak and 372 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 1: I talk about caregivers, one of the very first questions 373 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,399 Speaker 1: that I get is, well, what do you do with 374 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,600 Speaker 1: the bad families that decide to foster? 375 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,800 Speaker 3: And I'm sure there are families. 376 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,119 Speaker 1: That are out there, but what I have seen over 377 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:05,760 Speaker 1: and over and over again, is that there are such good, good, 378 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 1: good people who are trying to do good work of 379 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,879 Speaker 1: loving kids, nurturing kids, and trying to set them on 380 00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:16,960 Speaker 1: a path to reach their fullest potential, but so often 381 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 1: they can't that it's like when you become a foster parent, 382 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,360 Speaker 1: you become a piece of government, own piece of property. 383 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 1: And so fifty percent of our foster families that decide 384 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,480 Speaker 1: to foster, they will quit within the first year, over 385 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:35,120 Speaker 1: fifty percent. And so what happens is we've got this 386 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:39,199 Speaker 1: scenario where good hearted people say I can do this, 387 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,680 Speaker 1: but then it is so hard. They're not equipped and 388 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,399 Speaker 1: they're not supported, so then they close their home. So 389 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,840 Speaker 1: kids will bounce from home to home to home. And 390 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,800 Speaker 1: I told the story of little Jimmy and Tommy, and 391 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:56,280 Speaker 1: what happens is every time a child moves, that perpetuates 392 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,280 Speaker 1: this idea that well, now they don't want me, and 393 00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:03,080 Speaker 1: it's trumatic. Every single move is very traumatic on a child, 394 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:07,280 Speaker 1: and it's traumatic on the caregivers too. And so what 395 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,760 Speaker 1: we know is that fifty percent of foster parents will close. 396 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,159 Speaker 1: We know that children will move on average seven times 397 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,399 Speaker 1: in two years. We know that fifty percent will not 398 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 1: graduate high school. Ninety seven percent will not earn a 399 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,320 Speaker 1: college degree. And it is this direct pipeline that says 400 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,000 Speaker 1: by the time a child ages out at eighteen years old, 401 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:27,000 Speaker 1: the majority will not have their driver's license, their social security, 402 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,760 Speaker 1: their bank account, they will not have the things, they 403 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:33,760 Speaker 1: will not be prepared for adult living. And that the 404 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,680 Speaker 1: majority of those who live on the streets, who are 405 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:40,439 Speaker 1: in prison today, who are human traffic from the United States, 406 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:44,800 Speaker 1: all of those people come directly from the foster care 407 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,680 Speaker 1: And so you may not be called to foster or adopt, 408 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,959 Speaker 1: You may not even have a heart. 409 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:52,440 Speaker 3: To play a role in this. 410 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:57,159 Speaker 1: But if you are a if you pay taxes in 411 00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:02,560 Speaker 1: this country, then you are affected by this system. You 412 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:06,679 Speaker 1: are because your tax dollars pays to run these systems 413 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:11,080 Speaker 1: that fail people. Now, there's still a lot of hope 414 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,600 Speaker 1: in this. So what I don't want to do is 415 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 1: just talk about the hard without talking about the hope 416 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 1: and the beauty of what is possible. Because every single 417 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 1: statistic that I just said can be changed. We know 418 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,080 Speaker 1: that it can be changed. We know it because in 419 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,359 Speaker 1: our work we get to see it every day. And 420 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,359 Speaker 1: I will also say that there are so many good 421 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:34,840 Speaker 1: people across the country that want to play a part, 422 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 1: but they don't even know where to begin. And that's 423 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:41,280 Speaker 1: where we come in, is that we also believe when 424 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,439 Speaker 1: that judge said not everybody's called to do this, we 425 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,600 Speaker 1: believe that too. But what we know is that there 426 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:49,200 Speaker 1: are so many good people and corporations and small groups 427 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:53,400 Speaker 1: and individuals all over the place that say, I may 428 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,680 Speaker 1: not be able to foster, but I can do something. 429 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 3: And that's where we come in. 430 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,439 Speaker 1: And so our whole goal, well our north star, is 431 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 1: to change the statistic, every statistic that's out there through relationships. 432 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:14,600 Speaker 2: So fifty percent of our homeless population, it's estimated that 433 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:18,400 Speaker 2: fifty percent or more of our homeless population. 434 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,080 Speaker 4: Now think about that, everybody. 435 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:24,760 Speaker 2: Half of the homeless population is made up of former 436 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:31,440 Speaker 2: kids who were in foster care. Sixty percent of child 437 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:38,200 Speaker 2: sex trafficking victims YAW sixty three and five are from 438 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 2: former kids who are in foster care. Seventy five percent 439 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,760 Speaker 2: of our population in prison spent time in foster care 440 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:48,120 Speaker 2: three quarters. 441 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,399 Speaker 4: We also know that by the time a girl. 442 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,960 Speaker 2: Is nineteen years old, she will be on her second 443 00:25:56,080 --> 00:26:01,639 Speaker 2: pregnancy from girls who came from foster care and even worse. 444 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:05,160 Speaker 2: We talk all the time about the proverbial and overused 445 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 2: revolving door. We also know that it's eighty percent likely 446 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,840 Speaker 2: that this nineteen year old who's on their first or 447 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 2: second pregnancy, after they come over falster care, that their 448 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,600 Speaker 2: children will end up in the very place they came from, 449 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:25,679 Speaker 2: which is foster care. And while I'm not saying that 450 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:28,399 Speaker 2: to be a Debbie downer, but I'm saying that to 451 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:35,359 Speaker 2: qualify the enormity of the issue that is foster care. 452 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:40,919 Speaker 2: But but it's not just foster care. It affects all 453 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:44,239 Speaker 2: of us, like you just said, isn't it is. It 454 00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:48,240 Speaker 2: affects our prison systems, It affects our homeless populations and 455 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:52,919 Speaker 2: our urban centers. It affects crime, it affects criminal justice, 456 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:58,320 Speaker 2: It affects everything. So it is a moral and societal issue. 457 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:02,680 Speaker 2: It is a pragmatic issue, and frankly, it's a fiscal 458 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:08,199 Speaker 2: issue because of the untold, no untold dollars that we 459 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,000 Speaker 2: continue to spend on a system that was designed in 460 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:16,399 Speaker 2: the thirties that no longer fits today's world. And again, 461 00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:21,160 Speaker 2: thank the Lord for people who are willing to open 462 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,639 Speaker 2: their home and accept in these children. And when they 463 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,439 Speaker 2: bring in all the children, they bring in all the 464 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,840 Speaker 2: trauma and the baggage and everything else, and they're willing 465 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:35,679 Speaker 2: to do it. But it hadn't changed. It's not it 466 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:39,560 Speaker 2: hadn't been evolving. And so this is what Susan, you 467 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:45,239 Speaker 2: found out. And back to the story you leave this. Well, 468 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,040 Speaker 2: first of all, you sold a house to a woman 469 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:49,399 Speaker 2: who got you somewhere you really weren't called to be. 470 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,160 Speaker 2: And then you went to a conference you didn't really 471 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:53,160 Speaker 2: think you wanted to hear. 472 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:57,440 Speaker 4: You had an Aha moment. What happened in your life 473 00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:57,840 Speaker 4: from there? 474 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 1: So I left that conference, I went back to work. 475 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,640 Speaker 1: I called all of my friends, and I said, we're 476 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,399 Speaker 1: going to change foster care. We're going to change the 477 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:13,200 Speaker 1: way that children are experienced this system. And we started 478 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:18,439 Speaker 1: to do service projects for the first three years, trying 479 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 1: to bring joy and light and goodness and resources to 480 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:25,320 Speaker 1: kids who are experiencing foster care by doing things like 481 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:31,760 Speaker 1: days of Beauty for little girls at group homes, and 482 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,320 Speaker 1: we would do barbecues and picnics and back to school 483 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,679 Speaker 1: events where we would ensure that every child had a 484 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 1: brand new backpack in school supplies. And we did that 485 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:44,480 Speaker 1: for three years and all of a sudden, I had 486 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 1: this real rustling in my heart that while things are 487 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:52,040 Speaker 1: good and needed, the truth is is that we were 488 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,640 Speaker 1: not changing the trajectory of anybody's life. Because what we 489 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:57,520 Speaker 1: were doing and how we were set up in the 490 00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:00,200 Speaker 1: beginning was that we would show up, we would give 491 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 1: a kid a backpack, and then we would never see 492 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,160 Speaker 1: them again. And so the truth is that we were 493 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:05,719 Speaker 1: not going to change any statistic. 494 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:06,920 Speaker 3: We were not going to. 495 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:11,440 Speaker 1: Change the way that children identified and looked at themselves. 496 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 1: It was like, you know, what I have learned is 497 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,400 Speaker 1: that you'll hear a lot of talk around and there 498 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,160 Speaker 1: was actually a bill passed in Texas that said children 499 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,920 Speaker 1: are no longer to receive trash bags to remove their 500 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,480 Speaker 1: belongings from home to home to home. We're going to 501 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,320 Speaker 1: make sure that our children are dignified, and so therefore 502 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 1: we're going to give them a piece of luggage. And 503 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,280 Speaker 1: should any child have a trash bag, No, absolutely not, 504 00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:36,880 Speaker 1: But they shouldn't also have a piece of luggage where 505 00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 1: they're moving. Seven times, you could give a child a 506 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,160 Speaker 1: Louis Vaton bag, and all of a sudden, that doesn't 507 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 1: make their self worth improve. And so how do we 508 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,800 Speaker 1: keep children in placement? How do we wrap so much 509 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,600 Speaker 1: community support and consistency. So one of the things that 510 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:54,320 Speaker 1: I will often say is that I believe that every 511 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:59,120 Speaker 1: single child should have at least one healthy, consistent adult 512 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,680 Speaker 1: who knows the color of their eyes and the passions. 513 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:02,720 Speaker 3: Of their heart. 514 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:06,600 Speaker 4: We'll be right back. 515 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,840 Speaker 1: And so what happened was is we were doing these 516 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,680 Speaker 1: service projects. I didn't know the color of any kid's eyes, 517 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:22,600 Speaker 1: I didn't know the passions of any of their heart. 518 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 1: It was here's a backpack, here's an event. Great, and 519 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,200 Speaker 1: it felt good, and we had lots of community support. 520 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,000 Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, I kept thinking, yeah, 521 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,120 Speaker 1: but how do we prevent a kid from going homeless, 522 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:39,560 Speaker 1: from being in prison? How do we reroute their own 523 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:43,480 Speaker 1: personal narrative? How do we change the way that families 524 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,840 Speaker 1: are radically supported in this journey and children are fully 525 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 1: able to reach their fullest potential. Why they cannot choose 526 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 1: to be in foster care. I believe that they can 527 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:56,520 Speaker 1: choose to put a lot of effort and a lot 528 00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 1: of focus into what comes next. And so we began 529 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,360 Speaker 1: to do that. So I called a placement agency that 530 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 1: we were working with, and I said, I have a 531 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:09,920 Speaker 1: desire to go deeper with a family, but I don't 532 00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,640 Speaker 1: actually know what that looks like. Do you have a 533 00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,440 Speaker 1: family who's really struggling. I know the statistics say that 534 00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:17,719 Speaker 1: most foster parents will close their home. Give me a 535 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:22,680 Speaker 1: family that's really struggling. And so the placement agency said, 536 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,400 Speaker 1: I've got a woman. Her name is miss Esther. She 537 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:29,160 Speaker 1: lost her husband a few years ago, and she has 538 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:34,000 Speaker 1: sixteenage boys in her home and esther foster. 539 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,400 Speaker 3: Esther has fostered over fifty boys. 540 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:41,400 Speaker 1: And so I said, I know exactly who you're talking 541 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,360 Speaker 1: about because I had seen her before at some of 542 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,760 Speaker 1: the events that we had thrown. And so they said, 543 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:49,240 Speaker 1: here's her phone number, caller, and they had called her 544 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,240 Speaker 1: and they said, Esther, Susan wants to know if she can, 545 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,200 Speaker 1: like love on your family. And so she's like, well, 546 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,720 Speaker 1: I'm interested to take this call. And so I called 547 00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,080 Speaker 1: Esther and I just said, I don't know what this 548 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,040 Speaker 1: is going to look like, but I just want to 549 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,720 Speaker 1: help you in your fostering journey, but I don't know 550 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,640 Speaker 1: what that looks like. Would you allow me to come 551 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,280 Speaker 1: into your home and love on you and support you 552 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:09,400 Speaker 1: and these boys? 553 00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:10,880 Speaker 3: And she said Susan. 554 00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:14,640 Speaker 1: I have fostered over fifty boys and I have never 555 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,520 Speaker 1: had not one person say can I help you? So 556 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:21,000 Speaker 1: the answer is yes, you can help me. I cannot 557 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:27,120 Speaker 1: even begin to explain how incredible this woman was. She 558 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:32,280 Speaker 1: had the perfect amount of love and also discipline. 559 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:33,640 Speaker 3: And I knew that the. 560 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,840 Speaker 1: Boys loved her because when I would come into her home, 561 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,120 Speaker 1: they would sit next to her and they would put 562 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,120 Speaker 1: their head on her shoulder. 563 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:44,560 Speaker 3: And I knew that she was doing. 564 00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:47,719 Speaker 1: The best that she could to provide a stable, loving, 565 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,920 Speaker 1: nurturing home. But also esther didn't have a lot of 566 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,520 Speaker 1: extra in the way of financial means. Her husband was 567 00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,320 Speaker 1: the primary provider in her home, and when he had 568 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,280 Speaker 1: passed away, she is not left with a lot of 569 00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,880 Speaker 1: extra money, but had had time and had a lot 570 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:08,120 Speaker 1: of love to give. And so when I first showed 571 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,520 Speaker 1: up to her home, I said, how can I best 572 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:14,560 Speaker 1: support you? I would like now, I'm still working full time, 573 00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,239 Speaker 1: and so there was an app that I could go on. 574 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,840 Speaker 1: It was like an online costco. It was called Boxed, 575 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:21,760 Speaker 1: and I would just go onto my phone and I 576 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 1: would order things like toilet paper, paper towels, paper products, 577 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,240 Speaker 1: all the things that sixteenage boys are running through boxes 578 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:30,840 Speaker 1: of cereal, you name it. I would order it would 579 00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 1: be shipped to my house, and every couple of weeks 580 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,640 Speaker 1: I would show up to her house with a huge 581 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,560 Speaker 1: box full of supplies. 582 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:38,720 Speaker 3: For their home. 583 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:42,400 Speaker 1: And Esther is actually the one that named our program 584 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:44,000 Speaker 1: that we now do all over the country because I 585 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,840 Speaker 1: would show up with this box and she would say, oh, 586 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:50,200 Speaker 1: here comes my love Box, and I would say, yes. 587 00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,720 Speaker 4: Come, Oh, that's where the name comes from. So it 588 00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:54,760 Speaker 4: was the love Box. 589 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,400 Speaker 1: Got it, yeah, because it would show up in a 590 00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:02,160 Speaker 1: box and it was a moment for me where the 591 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:04,880 Speaker 1: more I would show up, the more I was building trust. 592 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,000 Speaker 1: So in the very beginning, the boys were like, what 593 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,439 Speaker 1: are you doing here? We don't understand why you're here. 594 00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:13,080 Speaker 1: What do you want from us? And I remember going 595 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:16,000 Speaker 1: to the home and I had it was a Halloween 596 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,160 Speaker 1: time and I had packed six pumpkins in like a 597 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:22,719 Speaker 1: painting set, and I was telling Esther, Hey, I'm gonna 598 00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,680 Speaker 1: come over and I'm gonna paint pumpkins with the boys, 599 00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,359 Speaker 1: and she was like, Susan, in no world are these 600 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,480 Speaker 1: teenage boys gonna paint pumpkins? And I was like Esther, 601 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:34,800 Speaker 1: watch me work, and so I went to their house 602 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,840 Speaker 1: and I set up a little pumpkin painting out front 603 00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,520 Speaker 1: in the front yard, and I said, hey, boys, we're 604 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,520 Speaker 1: gonna be painting pumpkins, but of course we're going to 605 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:45,400 Speaker 1: make it a little competition. So whoever can paint the 606 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:49,040 Speaker 1: best pumpkin gets this gift card to buy pizza for 607 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:51,160 Speaker 1: the entire family, and you get to pick all the 608 00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:54,520 Speaker 1: toppings and the dessert. And so all of a sudden, 609 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:58,680 Speaker 1: these kids who were teenagers had never done a simple 610 00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:01,600 Speaker 1: activity before, like painting pumpkins, and all of a sudden 611 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,160 Speaker 1: they were like, you know, painting the best pumpkins and 612 00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,120 Speaker 1: really trying to do it up. And then we did 613 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:10,400 Speaker 1: it again, you know, at Christmas time with gingerbread houses. 614 00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:13,360 Speaker 1: And I would just grab these boys by the caller 615 00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:15,399 Speaker 1: when I would leave them, and I would tell them 616 00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:17,680 Speaker 1: that they mattered, and I would look at them in 617 00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:19,640 Speaker 1: their eyes, and I would tell them that I loved them, 618 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:23,040 Speaker 1: because I did. The more I showed up, the more consistency, 619 00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:25,759 Speaker 1: the more trust. And every time I would show up, 620 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:29,359 Speaker 1: I would bring something special for each one of the boys. Well, 621 00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,879 Speaker 1: two things happened in this home. A couple of things 622 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:34,279 Speaker 1: happened in this home that made me look at my 623 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,120 Speaker 1: life and make the decision to leave corporate America. But 624 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,320 Speaker 1: in this home there was a little boy named Jonathan 625 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:42,399 Speaker 1: who had a great desire to make the football team. 626 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:46,279 Speaker 1: He was going into the seventh grade. But Jonathan had 627 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,000 Speaker 1: never made good grades before. He said to me, I 628 00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:50,759 Speaker 1: want to make the football team, but it's never going 629 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,000 Speaker 1: to happen for me because I don't make good grades. 630 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:57,239 Speaker 1: And I said, Jonathan, I just want you to know 631 00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:00,120 Speaker 1: that if you want to make the football team, that 632 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,480 Speaker 1: we will see this through with you. We're going to 633 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,160 Speaker 1: get you a tutor, We're going to start just breathing 634 00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:07,759 Speaker 1: life over you. Esther was a woman of faith, and 635 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,759 Speaker 1: so this was a thing that was allowable in her 636 00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:14,840 Speaker 1: home that I would I remember it was back to 637 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,360 Speaker 1: school time and we had gotten every single one of 638 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:20,320 Speaker 1: the boys a brand new backpack and all their school supplies, 639 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:24,000 Speaker 1: and in the front pocket we had written a handwritten 640 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,920 Speaker 1: card to each one of the boys and there was 641 00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:29,640 Speaker 1: some doctor Sue's quote that we had wrote in it. 642 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,080 Speaker 1: I don't even remember what we wrote, but I told Jonathan, 643 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:34,439 Speaker 1: I want you to take this card and I want 644 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,600 Speaker 1: you to put it on your poster board bed, and 645 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,840 Speaker 1: before your feet even hit the floor, I want you 646 00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:42,200 Speaker 1: to know that we have already prayed over you and 647 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:46,680 Speaker 1: before you, that we have asked God to just bless you, 648 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:47,840 Speaker 1: and we're. 649 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,200 Speaker 3: Going to get you the tutor. We're going to get 650 00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:50,359 Speaker 3: you everything that you need. 651 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:54,200 Speaker 1: And what ended up happening was that Jonathan, that six 652 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,600 Speaker 1: week progress report card time after he had put so 653 00:36:56,719 --> 00:37:00,000 Speaker 1: much effort into his schooling, came home waving his price 654 00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:03,080 Speaker 1: Gris's report card, saying Mama, Mama, Mama, you're not going 655 00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:06,160 Speaker 1: to believe this, and he handed her the report card 656 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:11,120 Speaker 1: and it had showed that he had made straight a's 657 00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:14,880 Speaker 1: for the first time in his life. And I was 658 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,200 Speaker 1: on the phone with Esther and she said, Susan, when 659 00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:20,279 Speaker 1: Jonathan hand me the report card, he said, Mama, they 660 00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,400 Speaker 1: believed in me, and I didn't want to make a 661 00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:25,520 Speaker 1: liar out of them, and so he tried so hard. 662 00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:28,440 Speaker 1: And we were there for his very first football game, 663 00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:32,120 Speaker 1: and it was a moment for me doing this kind 664 00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:34,560 Speaker 1: of pilot of this program, to say, can we make 665 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,800 Speaker 1: a difference, can we go deeper? And I just watched 666 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:40,920 Speaker 1: a young man who had no self esteem whatsoever, completely 667 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:44,480 Speaker 1: transformed the way that he looked at himself, transformed the 668 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,879 Speaker 1: way that he believed what was possible for himself through 669 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:53,080 Speaker 1: hard work and dedication and support. And so that's exactly 670 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,400 Speaker 1: what happened, is that he grew up and kept playing football, 671 00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:58,360 Speaker 1: and it was one of those moments for me that 672 00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:01,680 Speaker 1: was a realization that we have the power to transform 673 00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:04,640 Speaker 1: people's lives through our actions and our words. And in 674 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,120 Speaker 1: the same home there was a little boy named Ryan, 675 00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:11,399 Speaker 1: and what happened was that it was Ryan's birthday. And 676 00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:15,799 Speaker 1: Ryan had grew up in foster care his whole childhood, 677 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:20,839 Speaker 1: and when you are a caregiver, you don't get any 678 00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:26,680 Speaker 1: additional stipend for things like Christmas or Halloween or birthdays. 679 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:31,279 Speaker 1: There's no additional resources given to caregivers to provide. You're 680 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:35,480 Speaker 1: given a very small monthly stipend to basically make ends meet. 681 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,160 Speaker 1: So Ryan, as he was growing up in foster care, 682 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,600 Speaker 1: had never been celebrated for his birthday before. So when 683 00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:45,160 Speaker 1: he got home from school that day, what ended up 684 00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:49,800 Speaker 1: happening was that he had this big he had this big, 685 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:52,799 Speaker 1: huge love box that was waiting for him, and when 686 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:55,200 Speaker 1: he opened up the box, balloons came out and he 687 00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:58,680 Speaker 1: had all these goodies inside of it. And he called 688 00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:00,920 Speaker 1: me and he said, Susan, I I'm so excited to 689 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,960 Speaker 1: get home from school today because this is the first 690 00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,640 Speaker 1: time in my life that someone has celebrated me for 691 00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,160 Speaker 1: my birthday. And I just want you to know that 692 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,839 Speaker 1: I love you. And I said, oh, Ryan, I love 693 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:15,480 Speaker 1: you too, and hung up the phone and Esther went 694 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,120 Speaker 1: into another room and she called me and she said, Susan, 695 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,560 Speaker 1: I just want you to know what a big deal 696 00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,359 Speaker 1: it is that Ryan said the words I love you. 697 00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:26,560 Speaker 1: That boy has been in foster care his whole life 698 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:30,400 Speaker 1: and has been failed time and time and time again. 699 00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:33,399 Speaker 1: And it's one thing for a child to feel love, 700 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:35,880 Speaker 1: and it is a whole other thing for them to 701 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,600 Speaker 1: be able to give their love away. And so don't 702 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:41,120 Speaker 1: let those words I love you be lost on you. 703 00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:44,280 Speaker 1: And it was a moment for me. I was standing 704 00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,400 Speaker 1: at my kitchen seek I was doing dishes, and I 705 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,200 Speaker 1: put my hands down to kind of like just brace 706 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:55,040 Speaker 1: myself for what I had just heard. And I remember 707 00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:58,080 Speaker 1: like tears rolling down my face because I thought, you know, 708 00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,600 Speaker 1: here we are piloting a program to see can we 709 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,560 Speaker 1: make a difference as a community walking alongside this family, 710 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,279 Speaker 1: can we make a difference? And what I was realizing 711 00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:09,280 Speaker 1: in real time was that we have the power to 712 00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:14,320 Speaker 1: transform foster care. And in the same home, Esther would 713 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:17,400 Speaker 1: say things like, what you're doing is you're helping. 714 00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:18,440 Speaker 3: Me teach philanthropy. 715 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,440 Speaker 1: These kids now no longer hold on to their things 716 00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:23,479 Speaker 1: because they know that they're going to be getting more 717 00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:25,399 Speaker 1: from you. They know that they're going to be their 718 00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:27,799 Speaker 1: needs are going to be met, they know that they're 719 00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,040 Speaker 1: going to be taken care of. So one of the 720 00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,319 Speaker 1: things that Ryan did was we got them a huge 721 00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:35,399 Speaker 1: thing of brownies, but instead of just having it there 722 00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,120 Speaker 1: at home, he took them to school and he was 723 00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:40,520 Speaker 1: so proud to share his brownies with the friends at school. 724 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,840 Speaker 1: They had confidence, they were gaining confidence. And what really 725 00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:48,720 Speaker 1: was an unbelievable moment for me was that when children 726 00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:52,280 Speaker 1: get put into foster care, they have what's a rating, 727 00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:56,040 Speaker 1: and it can be anything from basic to specialized, and 728 00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:59,560 Speaker 1: it's kind of a sliding scale. The more specialized and 729 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:03,840 Speaker 1: the needs a child would have behavioral, emotional, then the 730 00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:10,040 Speaker 1: more compensation that a caregiver will get. And Esther had 731 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:13,400 Speaker 1: had all the boys tested at the end of our 732 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:17,200 Speaker 1: pilot and they had actually all moved down levels of 733 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:20,359 Speaker 1: care and so all sixteen age boys. There was about 734 00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:23,400 Speaker 1: a two hundred dollars per child stipend that Miss Esther 735 00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,120 Speaker 1: was losing. And she called me to tell me this, 736 00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,239 Speaker 1: and I said, oh, my gosh, Esther, have we just 737 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:32,000 Speaker 1: hurt you because now you're not able to receive twelve 738 00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:34,239 Speaker 1: hundred dollars a month, Like, oh my gosh, did we 739 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:38,160 Speaker 1: hurt you? And she said, absolutely not. I would rather 740 00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:45,040 Speaker 1: have happy, healthy, happy boys who behavioral has improved. Because, Susan, 741 00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:49,360 Speaker 1: what your group is providing in the way of resources, 742 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:52,160 Speaker 1: what I would be spending this money on. Anyways, I 743 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:56,440 Speaker 1: would much rather have this than the financial support. And 744 00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,160 Speaker 1: so I was like, oh, my gosh, we just saved 745 00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:01,239 Speaker 1: the government twelve hundred dollars in one house household. What 746 00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:04,240 Speaker 1: could that do to our country if we were able 747 00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:08,239 Speaker 1: to support kids and support families? And you know I 748 00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:12,799 Speaker 1: said earlier that this country spends billions of dollars. There 749 00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:16,000 Speaker 1: was some research that said if a child enters into 750 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:19,600 Speaker 1: foster care by the time they're eighteen years old, So 751 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,560 Speaker 1: if they go in at newborn and they spend it 752 00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,839 Speaker 1: until they're eighteen years old, the government will spend over 753 00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:28,960 Speaker 1: a million dollars in social services on that child. Well, 754 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:33,160 Speaker 1: most people are smart. If you spend a million dollars 755 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,640 Speaker 1: on something, you want to see a rate of return. 756 00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,400 Speaker 1: But what we know is that the rate of return 757 00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:44,600 Speaker 1: on a child's life, if they're not emotionally equipped and supported, 758 00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:47,520 Speaker 1: that they will end up in one of these you 759 00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:51,760 Speaker 1: know offshoots that say prison, homeless, human traffic, commits suicide, 760 00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,640 Speaker 1: and so on and so forth. So there was a 761 00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:57,799 Speaker 1: moment for me and a realization for me when I 762 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:02,560 Speaker 1: saw us transforming as life, these kids' lives, My life 763 00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:07,279 Speaker 1: was being transformed, that we really had something. And I 764 00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:11,120 Speaker 1: remember going back to my husband and I said, I 765 00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:17,200 Speaker 1: believe that every child in Central Texas should have this program. 766 00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:20,920 Speaker 1: I believe that every family that fosters should be radically 767 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:24,880 Speaker 1: supported in their journey. I believe that every family should 768 00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:28,920 Speaker 1: have resources like this. And it wasn't just the financial resources, 769 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:33,000 Speaker 1: it was the emotional resource. It was the esther, how 770 00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:35,160 Speaker 1: are you doing? I mean I would go in and 771 00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:36,759 Speaker 1: I would kiss her on the cheek when I would 772 00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:39,160 Speaker 1: see her, and I would sit next to her and 773 00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:43,080 Speaker 1: I would hold her hand when things were hard and 774 00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:48,160 Speaker 1: I just kept loving on her and showing up for 775 00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:52,440 Speaker 1: her and loving on the these boys. There was this 776 00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:57,239 Speaker 1: study that was done that said, when human beings are 777 00:43:57,280 --> 00:44:00,800 Speaker 1: faced with really hard things, often some times they feel 778 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:03,640 Speaker 1: like they can't get through it or over it if they're. 779 00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:04,320 Speaker 3: Doing it alone. 780 00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:07,120 Speaker 1: But there was this research done that said, if you're 781 00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:09,840 Speaker 1: standing at the bottom of a mountain and you're looking 782 00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,799 Speaker 1: up at that mountain, if you're all by yourself, you 783 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:15,080 Speaker 1: would say to yourself, there's no way I can climb 784 00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:18,760 Speaker 1: that mountain. But the sheer presence of another human being, 785 00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:22,120 Speaker 1: even if they're back, is face to you that you 786 00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:24,439 Speaker 1: then look at that mountain and you say, oh, there's 787 00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:27,080 Speaker 1: a twenty percent probability that I can get through that. 788 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:31,640 Speaker 1: When that person turns around, and if you know them, 789 00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:34,560 Speaker 1: that shoots up to like fifty percent. And the closer 790 00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:37,279 Speaker 1: that they get to you, if they will stand beside 791 00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:41,400 Speaker 1: you and literally say nothing in your mind, you believe 792 00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:43,560 Speaker 1: I have one hundred percent probability that I'm going to 793 00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:47,160 Speaker 1: scale this mountain. And it's this idea, this research that 794 00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:50,480 Speaker 1: was done that says, there is no mountain too high, 795 00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:53,680 Speaker 1: no valley too low. There is nothing that we as 796 00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:58,600 Speaker 1: human beings can't get over or through if we have 797 00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:05,080 Speaker 1: a consistent and healthy, supportive relationship that will navigate life 798 00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:05,680 Speaker 1: with us. 799 00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:12,640 Speaker 2: And that concludes Part one of my conversation with Susan 800 00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:15,560 Speaker 2: Ramirez and I hope you don't miss Part two that's 801 00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:19,600 Speaker 2: now available to listen to. Together, guys, we can change 802 00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:23,640 Speaker 2: this country, but it will start with you. I'll see 803 00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:24,239 Speaker 2: in Part two.