WEBVTT - You've Got Decisions: Side Chick-ship 0:00:01.639 --> 0:00:03.720 There was things that Gila said on her wedding day 0:00:03.760 --> 0:00:05.760 that she did to manifest the relationship, and there was 0:00:05.800 --> 0:00:07.280 things that I did that I really want to share 0:00:07.840 --> 0:00:08.160 and I know. 0:00:08.280 --> 0:00:09.479 You Simone and talked about that too. 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:11.920 Gila talked about how she read all about love a 0:00:11.960 --> 0:00:14.000 lot and made a list of the things she wants 0:00:14.000 --> 0:00:17.200 and a partner. Not only did I do that, I 0:00:17.239 --> 0:00:18.759 even said it on horrible what I wanted him to 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:19.840 look like, the music. 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:21.680 How we would travel, and all of that happened. 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:25.000 I used to listen to I don't have the exact one, 0:00:25.720 --> 0:00:29.520 a YouTube of a frequency of manifesting a partner before 0:00:29.520 --> 0:00:30.320 I was going to sleep. 0:00:30.600 --> 0:00:31.320 It was a love. 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:32.680 Frequent, little motherfucking witch. 0:00:33.320 --> 0:00:36.200 You think I had some witchy as shit? You listen 0:00:36.240 --> 0:00:38.800 to a frequency of manifestations of a man. 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:43.440 Not really a man, but love. Okay, so witch. 0:00:45.440 --> 0:00:50.880 But when he came into my life, it wasn't an 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:52.919 active pursuit in the breyonda way. 0:00:52.960 --> 0:00:55.240 I know Brionda's got her things, she's doing right now right. 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:58.440 It was just more of me changing my frame of 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:03.040 thinking because I was really negative, really really bad. I'm 0:01:03.080 --> 0:01:04.440 not gonna have this. I'm not gonna have this. I'm 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:08.840 not gonna have this. Also update what made me think 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:11.759 about that too? I did that partnership with the linguistic 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:14.600 braces inside, took them off. I'm about to get regular 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:17.840 braces and I literally they're eight grands. I was damn 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:20.720 near crying in the office yesterday. I was like, I 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:22.200 get what if I don't finish this? What if I 0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:24.520 can't finish this? What if I can't finish this? And 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:26.480 the lady told me throw with it on this that 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:29.120 she googled me, and she was like, I saw all 0:01:29.160 --> 0:01:31.679 those nice things you have in no way that your 0:01:31.760 --> 0:01:33.040 thinking hasn't been positive. 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:34.160 You need to start. 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:36.360 Thinking of the things you want for your health. Of 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:39.280 that same way, She's like, what about weight? Do you 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:40.720 do this to yourself when you want to lose weight 0:01:40.920 --> 0:01:42.800 or when you want to stop drinking, when you want 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:44.120 to eat healthier? Do you say I'm not gonna be 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:44.840 able to keep that up? 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:46.840 And I was like, oh my god, I do. 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:50.240 Like every time I'm like oh this dieting, go last 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:52.040 or whatever. She's like, all of how you talk to 0:01:52.080 --> 0:01:54.880 yourself is dictating this right. Okay, you can do it 0:01:54.920 --> 0:01:57.320 for money in business, you can do it for your teeth, 0:01:57.680 --> 0:01:59.320 like you're gonna fucking last. 0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:01.680 Like, don't thing that you're not going to do it. 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:04.280 You paying this money, you were going to finish, see 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:07.960 the finish line. And I really am like dictating all 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:10.519 back to love because I just have been meeting people 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:14.480 that are happier in their situations, and I think all 0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:15.760 of them have that attitude. 0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:17.440 Anyone I know right now. 0:02:17.280 --> 0:02:20.480 That's happy in love, is happy about their was happy 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:24.560 about their life, their circumstances. Being alone, I want to 0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:27.880 say that a hundred times, being happy alone. And I 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:30.720 don't mean being happy that you're single. I mean being 0:02:31.000 --> 0:02:33.720 happy when you're atone. That's all I've been talking about. Bro, 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:34.680 It's a real thing. 0:02:34.800 --> 0:02:38.640 I'm glad. I'm just to a point where, like even 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:41.440 like the fun I've been having with my roster, my partners, 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:49.200 my lovers, knowing last year I was crying or being 0:02:49.200 --> 0:02:52.440 triggered by even being touched by men, like the trauma 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:54.840 from getting over that last relationship. 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:58.040 I'm in a such a weird place right now. 0:02:58.080 --> 0:03:00.760 And I just wrote I just actually made a post 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:02.760 on it on Instagram, and so many girls were. 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:04.160 Like, girl, I'm in the same place. 0:03:04.560 --> 0:03:06.920 I want to read the three things that my mind 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:09.320 went through where I'm at right now with with love, 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:12.880 especially hearing you talk about manifesting love. Okay, I said, 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:15.520 welcome to the slides show my current hypocritical takes. You 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:19.000 may hear on current or upcoming episodes. Number One, I'm 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:21.160 single only because I find it really hard to even 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:23.760 like someone, but also I want a serious relationship. But 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:25.960 I'm also having a lot of fun being single. Two 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:28.960 I really like my alone time. So while i'd love 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:30.960 a boyfriend who is close because I want to cuddle 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:33.280 during my free time, I also want someone long distance 0:03:33.360 --> 0:03:35.040 so I don't have to have them around all the time. 0:03:35.600 --> 0:03:36.120 Number three. 0:03:37.080 --> 0:03:39.280 Roster is currently full of people that I don't see 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:42.440 myself being in a relationship with, although I'm seeking alaship, 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:45.360 a serious relationship. However, since my roster is full, I'm 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:46.800 not interested in dating or getting. 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:47.400 To meet anyone new. 0:03:48.000 --> 0:03:50.000 And I was really it was like a crazy no shit, 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:54.160 So yes, a serious relationship would be nice. 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:57.360 I know, Like we've even been talking like Triple D. 0:03:57.480 --> 0:03:58.720 That's going to be his nickname, y'all. 0:03:58.960 --> 0:04:02.760 So Triple D, who was from my past who I 0:04:02.800 --> 0:04:05.000 really liked, but he had a person at the time 0:04:05.760 --> 0:04:07.760 he got single, then I got in my relationship, then 0:04:07.800 --> 0:04:09.400 he disappeared off the face of the earth. Just found 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:12.040 him immediately, bitch. The day we found him, he said, 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:14.720 come tomorrow. Came two days later because I already had 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:18.719 someone planned. So I went two days later and literally 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:20.240 stayed with him for two days. And I was like, 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:24.240 this is We're like, we're just there and immediately, even 0:04:24.279 --> 0:04:26.320 though I'm in my mind like ooh, I like this, nigga. 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:28.200 M M, I'm like primary. 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:31.200 I'm immediately like I would love for this to be 0:04:31.240 --> 0:04:32.799 maybe my primary. 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:34.599 But I don't want him marry Mandy. No, no, no, no 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:37.599 relationship talk. You know how every time he's like on 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:39.719 TikTok and it's like a bitch on there and she's like, 0:04:40.920 --> 0:04:43.839 your man is going to be intentional. He is going 0:04:43.920 --> 0:04:46.360 to come to you and say I want You're gonna 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:48.520 be this. He is gonna let you know where you stand. 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:50.240 He's gonna da da da da dad. Let me tell 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:53.480 you something. This is twenty twenty four. This is a 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:56.000 new era of dating. Niggas just don't know until they 0:04:56.240 --> 0:04:57.240 fucking start to know. 0:04:57.480 --> 0:04:57.960 I mean, so. 0:04:58.040 --> 0:05:00.080 Everyone, but no, no, no, And I'll be honest though, well 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:02.640 that's what I'm not into right now, like to me 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:07.279 if I am, which is why I'm looking at everyone 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:11.040 that I feel. No, I'm not into waiting for someone 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:13.280 to tell me i'm their is or there. I'm not 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:14.080 talking about waiting. 0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:17.400 But let me just yeah, clarify that, because when I 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:19.160 say niggas don't know until they know, I also be 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:19.719 went into. 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:22.479 We kind of kind of go through these motions. 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:26.520 For example, before you fuck somebody, it's this weird representative 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:29.040 like we've been talking about, right me, Well, I. 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:32.560 Believe you know the first few dates. I think people. 0:05:32.720 --> 0:05:36.440 I think men are nicer, more consistent in communication and talking. 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:37.720 I literally talk about this in the book. 0:05:37.720 --> 0:05:41.320 I said, before the pussy game, everything is all good, right, 0:05:41.680 --> 0:05:44.040 and then once they get the pussy, things start to 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:46.360 like mellow out. Men are so focused on getting pussy, 0:05:46.440 --> 0:05:48.360 and the whole time we're so focused on making sure 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:51.360 they're worth the pussy. I think it takes a little 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:54.120 bit of time to figure out if someone's a fit, 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:56.599 and I think that we put so much pressure on 0:05:56.640 --> 0:05:59.719 what that time looks like. For example, we're not dating 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:02.200 around because we're so folks. We as, and women are 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:04.800 not dating around because we're so focused on making sure 0:06:04.839 --> 0:06:07.279 that guy is good, that guy's dating around and kind 0:06:07.279 --> 0:06:10.120 of still learning how to see what women out of 0:06:10.200 --> 0:06:14.120 those women are someone that's more special. You were saying 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:16.280 you don't like that. That seems like a waiting game, 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:19.840 but in reality, we all do that. I realized I 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:22.880 was going out in most relationships I was in, I 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:24.360 was happy with the person I was dating, but every 0:06:24.360 --> 0:06:26.520 time that went out, I kind of looked for something better. 0:06:27.960 --> 0:06:30.040 I don't know why I was always back there. I 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:33.440 probably did that with everyone but scissors and right now everyone, 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:34.920 even when obey, I would look at go out and 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:36.880 be like and I kind of just compare them to 0:06:36.920 --> 0:06:40.640 my partner. And I really don't know why, but my 0:06:40.720 --> 0:06:45.200 brain was always looking I just don't think that intentionality 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:48.400 is exactly black and white. I think there's a point 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:51.560 when intentionality starts. I think we all are dating, we're 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:53.480 all on these apps. There's a lot of people. This 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:56.240 is not fucking nineteen sixty four, when you went out 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:58.320 with one person and even if they were just okay, 0:06:58.360 --> 0:06:59.279 you pushed it forward. 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:00.800 I think we've got to. 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:04.240 Kind of like, like, really wait and see if this 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:07.479 is a fit first, And there's so many rules that 0:07:07.520 --> 0:07:10.960 we're putting on top of these people and dropping them 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:11.720 if they don't fit. 0:07:11.800 --> 0:07:14.200 So that's the thing, and that's where maybe, and I 0:07:14.200 --> 0:07:16.240 don't know where my tribe is of women that feel 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:18.800 the way I do. I'm me and my friends do 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:21.720 not actually operate that way. So I like all of 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:24.840 dating around No, no, no, you said women, we focus 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:27.240 and we allow men to do that. No, like my 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:30.280 friends bitch every time we get on the phone, we like, bitch. 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:31.720 I can't keep up. What's isn't it? 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:32.080 Dallas? 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:32.280 That is? 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:34.520 That's what I'm telling you. That's what my friends that 0:07:34.600 --> 0:07:36.440 I do. I do not think that's an average woman. No, 0:07:36.480 --> 0:07:37.960 I think the avoge dominum sating one. 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:41.040 No, you just got a little taste of the Horrible 0:07:41.080 --> 0:07:44.480 Decisions Patreon, But why it's that there? Tap in for 0:07:44.520 --> 0:07:48.360 the full, uncut and way nastier episodes over on Patreon. 0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:52.800 Go to patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:56.840 all the messyt wild stories and bonus content you won't 0:07:56.880 --> 0:08:01.840 hear anywhere else. And now here's You've got Decisions. 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:04.680 If you would like to have us answer your questions, 0:08:04.920 --> 0:08:08.240 If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend or 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:09.800 a terrible throatfle. 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:16.360 Guess what You've got decisions, You've got decisions. 0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:18.120 Welcome back, y'all. 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:22.600 We are here with another person's dilemma, another person's bullshit. 0:08:22.960 --> 0:08:26.720 And just so you guys know, ygd you've got decisions. 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:29.120 You maybe listening to it on audio. If you would 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:31.760 like to see the full video, it's available on Patreon 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:35.800 where Horrible Decisions is Patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:38.400 and if you want to send us all of your 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:43.440 drama and trauma, first priority goes to the Patreon dms. Yes, 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:48.320 second priority goes to decisions at gmail dot com. 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:50.040 That's right, that's right. 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:53.760 And you are listening to this just a week after 0:08:54.040 --> 0:09:01.160 we did our Summer Walker side chick breakdown. Also this 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:05.600 week is our town hall, but really excited because boy, 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:09.600 it's Summer Walker not the only person having a side 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:15.440 chick dilemma. So the letter sense in this week is 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:17.160 called side chickship. 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:20.200 Here we go find you. 0:09:20.960 --> 0:09:23.800 We have upgraded at the end of twenty twenty five 0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:28.840 going into twenty twenty six, bucket situationship, side side chip, 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:30.439 side chick. 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:33.600 Ship is a new word. I love it, damn you girlies? 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:35.080 All right? Are you happy? Sister? 0:09:36.120 --> 0:09:39.000 By the way, I love it because I saw a 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:43.320 Patreon comment weezy where someone was like, are y'all new here? 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:46.680 I feel like they'd be answering the same questions all 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:47.240 these years. 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:48.760 They didn't answer this before I saw that. 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:51.479 It's like, listen, they don't. 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:56.640 They need a situation here and this is giving you 0:09:56.720 --> 0:09:58.320 just want to vent to us, But girl, we're gonna 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:01.560 tell you about yourself because literally the first line is ladies. 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:04.520 I feel like I know the answer, but I'm just 0:10:04.559 --> 0:10:09.400 seeking confirmation. That is how the email starts. Ladies, y'all bitch, 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:11.400 just know what y'all doing. Some bullshit, but it's okay 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:12.480 to answer. 0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:14.440 Weisie, and I are. 0:10:14.320 --> 0:10:19.200 Here to confirm your thoughts. Okay, here we go. I 0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:23.120 met this man on the BLK dating app. No, we'll 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:26.679 disclosure up front. He told me he was married, and 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:30.400 I didn't care. At the time, I had just moved 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:34.400 back to my hometown to a new management position and 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:38.880 was dating two other guys. I didn't foresee any problems 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:41.560 as he was just a little something to get my 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:42.319 feet wet. 0:10:44.080 --> 0:10:47.240 Fast forward two years later, he. 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:50.880 Applied pressure and edged out the other guys, and we 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:55.600 are stupidly locked in. This is not a conventional side 0:10:55.640 --> 0:11:00.720 check relationship. However, we be outside. I've met his family, 0:11:00.920 --> 0:11:02.720 including the mama and the sister. 0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:05.920 Oh, you have to say that I hang with him 0:11:05.960 --> 0:11:06.240 on the. 0:11:06.200 --> 0:11:10.880 Weekends when we're in town. We go out of town. 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:14.320 At least two weekends a month. He spends the night 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:18.800 every weekend. Weekends starts on Thursday, and at least two 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:22.839 days out of the week birthdays, holidays. 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:28.360 Were always together. Okay, he pays bills and even bought 0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:31.600 me a car, burying the lead here. 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:36.080 But the wife knows about me. She found out about 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:40.800 me three months into quote unquote us. Hell, we're on 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:42.000 a three way text group. 0:11:44.000 --> 0:11:44.560 I bad. 0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:51.959 Time when she can't find When she can't find him, 0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:58.720 she textes us the problem. The longer this relationship lasts, 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:03.840 I am being engulfed in guilt. If someone posed this 0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:07.240 scenario to me as an outsider, I take the position 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:11.199 of the married individual owes the fidelity. 0:12:12.080 --> 0:12:13.560 I'm not in charge of another. 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:14.800 One married individual. 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:16.680 Oh oh, oh, no, I don't feat on me. 0:12:16.920 --> 0:12:20.720 So like the married individuals who owed you to be 0:12:20.800 --> 0:12:24.600 faithful to not me, she said, I'm not in charge 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:28.720 of another woman's happiness. That being said, I never go 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:31.080 out of my way to hurt another black woman. 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:34.040 And the thing is, she's not that smart. 0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:38.640 I have never confirmed, lady girl, she says, I have 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:41.800 never confirmed that I'm sleeping with her husband. I usually 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:44.720 just let her scream it into the void. She found 0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:47.600 me on Facebook. We're both in our forties and start 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:50.760 she started calling me out. Had to block her. I 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:53.880 could really destroy her world, But why would I. She's 0:12:53.920 --> 0:12:54.880 done nothing to me. 0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:58.800 You kind of sound like a bitch alreadybody right. I 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:00.480 don't want to destroy anybody, but she's dumb. 0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:04.960 But I've also never asked him to get a divorce. 0:13:05.559 --> 0:13:08.040 I don't give a fuck about a divorce paper and 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:11.040 for that matter, or ring on my finger, been. 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:13.160 Married, got the T shirt? No thanks. 0:13:13.720 --> 0:13:16.480 It seems like the only way out of my guilt 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:20.800 is he gotta leave her or me. Oh not him, 0:13:21.240 --> 0:13:24.400 not she putting it in his hands. But she did 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:29.280 even feel guilt since she knows about him and has. 0:13:29.120 --> 0:13:32.760 It kicked him out. Sorry so long, but. 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:39.120 Sorry, wait, she's asking should she even be guilty since 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:41.360 she knows what he's doing and has it. 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:42.160 Kicked him out? 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:45.200 So what's crazy is, girl, you have finessed your mind 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:48.560 to be like, well, he got to choose between me 0:13:48.600 --> 0:13:51.640 and her, But also the wife also has it kicked 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:53.800 him out, So why do I feel bad at all? 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:56.360 It's up to them to figure out what they. 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.400 Got going on. That's how I read that. 0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:01.760 And look, oh, y'all, if you are not on the Patreon, 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:06.240 Weezy just rolled her eyes into abyss, go ahead her. 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:13.679 Are you not mist No she's not. 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.280 Because she says she's been married, got the T shirt, 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:20.920 No thanks, she don't want to marry this man. But 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:26.560 she's also like guilty because I know I'm absolutely like 0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:30.560 making this black woman unhappy because she's blocked me on Facebook, 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:32.080 she's brated me on Facebook. 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:34.280 Whatever. But also she's like. 0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:38.520 Either he gotta leave you, or he gotta leave me, 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.200 or bitch, if you really that upset, you gotta leave him. 0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:48.160 But basically she's saying she gonna be around until y'all decide. 0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:49.640 What y'all finn to do. That's the thing I don't like. 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:55.280 Okay, why you say this's the thing I don't like. 0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:00.600 I understand you may not want a nigga, like you 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:02.040 may not want the marriage. 0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:05.320 She doesn't want a husband, and I actually can believe it. 0:15:06.240 --> 0:15:11.160 But you are semi enjoying whatever perks of the relationship 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:13.800 you're getting because you gloated a little bit about meeting 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:17.560 the family and being on the group chat and to me, okay, 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:21.160 I can tell you this from experience. My homegirls that 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:22.720 really don't want a nigga. 0:15:23.160 --> 0:15:24.640 Wouldn't even tell me all that. 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:28.440 Like I have homegirls that's fucking married niggas that just 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:31.080 be like, well, you know, I don't go to leave 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:32.200 back with her, and they be trying to put the 0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:34.400 wife down kind of like you did. And the other 0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:36.200 ones that like girl lock upe she keep him happycause 0:15:36.200 --> 0:15:38.080 I don' want a nigga coming over here. I want 0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:39.800 my space. I want him when I want him, And 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.800 that's it. You don't give that, sister, you don't. 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:44.200 Well, that's the thing. 0:15:44.680 --> 0:15:48.000 She absolutely wants a man, which she has, she has 0:15:48.040 --> 0:15:50.160 the relationship, and she's admitting that. 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:52.840 She doesn't want the ring. So she have a headache. 0:15:53.560 --> 0:15:57.800 She's content, No, she feels like she is. 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:01.080 There's a level of guilt because because she knows this 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:05.200 other woman is now unhappy. Like yeah, I'm saying, like 0:16:05.720 --> 0:16:08.880 this relationship though, like she's but that's what I'm not 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:12.880 what part is fucked up? And I'm only asking you 0:16:13.120 --> 0:16:15.840 because me as a woman who doesn't want marriage as 0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:19.560 my end goal either. If she's saying, I get him 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:22.040 every other weekend so I get my space, but I 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:24.440 also get holidays with him, I get birthdays with him. 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:27.120 He pays my bills. I'm not gonna lie, like. 0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:31.200 What is making you feel like she's not being honest 0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:34.600 because she actually seems like she's getting everything she wants 0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:37.640 out of this relationship and she don't want the room 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:41.520 that another person is being hurt for this relationship that she's. 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:43.560 In, and you're gonna continue to feel guilty. 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:47.720 We can't just like pretend that you aren't a part 0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:50.600 of the cycle of a marriage being broken up just 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:54.040 because you don't want somebody so like, admittedly, so the 0:16:54.080 --> 0:16:55.840 only people I think that are exempt from this. 0:16:55.800 --> 0:16:58.600 Are sex workers, because I only want to have a 0:16:58.680 --> 0:16:59.200 job to do. 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:01.720 You met an go on a dating app who was 0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:04.480 misleading that you knew was married out the gate, that you. 0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:06.600 Knew was married out the gate he was missing, like 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:09.040 you already know, you're jumping into mess. To me, sex 0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:10.960 workers are the only ones that have a true detachment, 0:17:11.000 --> 0:17:13.720 which is why I don't think they ever should be 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:17.800 someone who's held accountable for the cheating. They provided a service. 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:21.520 It's not their business the marital status. You're like really engaging, 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:23.760 needing family, doing all this stuff. So yes, you know 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:26.639 you're hurting this person, so you and I was like, 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:27.639 I don't really believe her. 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:30.840 Is it's because like, but you're doing all this extra stuff. 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:34.359 You know what I'm saying, You're growing more intimate feelings, 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:37.080 like you're you're like this is already the feelings, Like 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:39.679 you're growing in deeper relationships, Like no, you're not just 0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:41.359 doing it for cash, because you enjoy doing all this 0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:43.960 other stuff with him. You like want the company, you 0:17:44.000 --> 0:17:46.840 wanted to stay over. You even mentioned Thursday to this day, Like. 0:17:47.560 --> 0:17:59.480 No, sah okay, Devil's advocate here, m hm. Because even 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:02.040 when we saw about Summer Walker, we talked a lot 0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:05.520 about Summer, We talked a lot about Tori, very little 0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:06.879 about rich and we're. 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:07.280 Doing it here. 0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:13.600 If women are willing to stay, if women are willing 0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:17.440 to feel guilty, if women are willing to feel upset 0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:22.399 but stay to what responsibility does the man have in 0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:25.000 this at all? Because it seems like if there's a 0:18:25.000 --> 0:18:33.240 group chat between them. Again, everyone's there's honesty somewhere, group 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:35.400 chat between who there's a group chat. 0:18:35.480 --> 0:18:36.240 She's sound like that. 0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:41.639 No, she said that there's a group chat between the 0:18:41.680 --> 0:18:44.560 wife and her. She said, the wife knows about me. 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:48.520 She found out about me three months into us. Hell, 0:18:48.600 --> 0:18:51.520 we're on a three way text group and when she 0:18:51.600 --> 0:18:56.440 can't find him, she textes me. And so it's weird 0:18:56.480 --> 0:19:00.399 because you're waiting for him or her to leave. I 0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:05.760 don't know why, or for her to break up. 0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:07.240 With him, because it's a mess. 0:19:07.280 --> 0:19:09.640 That's why she needs someone and she it's not a 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:14.000 situation that works right. That's why I'm saying, like, I 0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:16.560 believe she kind of wants him, because why does the ending? 0:19:16.680 --> 0:19:17.639 What was her last question? 0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:20.199 So, I think you're I think you're right too, and 0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:21.600 I think that that's the reality of it. 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:22.919 Women want the one up. 0:19:23.080 --> 0:19:26.640 So she said, I've never asked him to get a divorce. 0:19:27.080 --> 0:19:29.720 I don't give a fuck about a divorce paper. She said, 0:19:29.800 --> 0:19:32.399 it seems the only way out of my guilt is 0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:35.720 either he got to leave her or me. But should 0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:39.000 I even feel guilt since she knows about what he's doing? 0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:40.520 And hasn't kicked him out. 0:19:40.960 --> 0:19:43.800 Yes, you feel guilt because you're participating in the cycle. 0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:47.679 Now are you the real issue? No, you're not. The 0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:48.440