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Speaker 1: There was things that Gila said on her wedding day

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Speaker 1: that she did to manifest the relationship, and there was

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Speaker 1: things that I did that I really want to share

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Speaker 1: and I know.

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Speaker 2: You Simone and talked about that too.

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Speaker 1: Gila talked about how she read all about love a

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Speaker 1: lot and made a list of the things she wants

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Speaker 1: and a partner. Not only did I do that, I

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Speaker 1: even said it on horrible what I wanted him to

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Speaker 1: look like, the music.

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Speaker 3: How we would travel, and all of that happened.

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Speaker 1: I used to listen to I don't have the exact one,

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Speaker 1: a YouTube of a frequency of manifesting a partner before

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Speaker 1: I was going to sleep.

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Speaker 2: It was a love.

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Speaker 3: Frequent, little motherfucking witch.

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Speaker 4: You think I had some witchy as shit? You listen

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Speaker 4: to a frequency of manifestations of a man.

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Speaker 2: Not really a man, but love. Okay, so witch.

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Speaker 1: But when he came into my life, it wasn't an

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Speaker 1: active pursuit in the breyonda way.

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Speaker 3: I know Brionda's got her things, she's doing right now right.

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Speaker 1: It was just more of me changing my frame of

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Speaker 1: thinking because I was really negative, really really bad. I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna have this. I'm not gonna have this. I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna have this. Also update what made me think

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Speaker 1: about that too? I did that partnership with the linguistic

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Speaker 1: braces inside, took them off. I'm about to get regular

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Speaker 1: braces and I literally they're eight grands. I was damn

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Speaker 1: near crying in the office yesterday. I was like, I

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Speaker 1: get what if I don't finish this? What if I

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Speaker 1: can't finish this? What if I can't finish this? And

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Speaker 1: the lady told me throw with it on this that

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Speaker 1: she googled me, and she was like, I saw all

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Speaker 1: those nice things you have in no way that your

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Speaker 1: thinking hasn't been positive.

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Speaker 2: You need to start.

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Speaker 1: Thinking of the things you want for your health. Of

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Speaker 1: that same way, She's like, what about weight? Do you

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Speaker 1: do this to yourself when you want to lose weight

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Speaker 1: or when you want to stop drinking, when you want

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Speaker 1: to eat healthier? Do you say I'm not gonna be

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Speaker 1: able to keep that up?

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Speaker 2: And I was like, oh my god, I do.

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Speaker 1: Like every time I'm like oh this dieting, go last

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Speaker 1: or whatever. She's like, all of how you talk to

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Speaker 1: yourself is dictating this right. Okay, you can do it

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Speaker 1: for money in business, you can do it for your teeth,

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Speaker 1: like you're gonna fucking last.

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Speaker 2: Like, don't thing that you're not going to do it.

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Speaker 1: You paying this money, you were going to finish, see

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Speaker 1: the finish line. And I really am like dictating all

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Speaker 1: back to love because I just have been meeting people

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Speaker 1: that are happier in their situations, and I think all

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Speaker 1: of them have that attitude.

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Speaker 2: Anyone I know right now.

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Speaker 1: That's happy in love, is happy about their was happy

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Speaker 1: about their life, their circumstances. Being alone, I want to

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Speaker 1: say that a hundred times, being happy alone. And I

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Speaker 1: don't mean being happy that you're single. I mean being

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Speaker 1: happy when you're atone. That's all I've been talking about. Bro,

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Speaker 1: It's a real thing.

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Speaker 4: I'm glad. I'm just to a point where, like even

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Speaker 4: like the fun I've been having with my roster, my partners,

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Speaker 4: my lovers, knowing last year I was crying or being

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Speaker 4: triggered by even being touched by men, like the trauma

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Speaker 4: from getting over that last relationship.

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Speaker 2: I'm in a such a weird place right now.

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Speaker 4: And I just wrote I just actually made a post

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Speaker 4: on it on Instagram, and so many girls were.

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Speaker 2: Like, girl, I'm in the same place.

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Speaker 4: I want to read the three things that my mind

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Speaker 4: went through where I'm at right now with with love,

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Speaker 4: especially hearing you talk about manifesting love. Okay, I said,

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Speaker 4: welcome to the slides show my current hypocritical takes. You

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Speaker 4: may hear on current or upcoming episodes. Number One, I'm

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Speaker 4: single only because I find it really hard to even

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Speaker 4: like someone, but also I want a serious relationship. But

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Speaker 4: I'm also having a lot of fun being single. Two

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Speaker 4: I really like my alone time. So while i'd love

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Speaker 4: a boyfriend who is close because I want to cuddle

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Speaker 4: during my free time, I also want someone long distance

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Speaker 4: so I don't have to have them around all the time.

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Speaker 2: Number three.

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Speaker 4: Roster is currently full of people that I don't see

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Speaker 4: myself being in a relationship with, although I'm seeking alaship,

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Speaker 4: a serious relationship. However, since my roster is full, I'm

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Speaker 4: not interested in dating or getting.

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Speaker 2: To meet anyone new.

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Speaker 4: And I was really it was like a crazy no shit,

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Speaker 4: So yes, a serious relationship would be nice.

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Speaker 3: I know, Like we've even been talking like Triple D.

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Speaker 3: That's going to be his nickname, y'all.

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Speaker 4: So Triple D, who was from my past who I

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Speaker 4: really liked, but he had a person at the time

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Speaker 4: he got single, then I got in my relationship, then

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Speaker 4: he disappeared off the face of the earth. Just found

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Speaker 4: him immediately, bitch. The day we found him, he said,

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Speaker 4: come tomorrow. Came two days later because I already had

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Speaker 4: someone planned. So I went two days later and literally

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Speaker 4: stayed with him for two days. And I was like,

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Speaker 4: this is We're like, we're just there and immediately, even

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Speaker 4: though I'm in my mind like ooh, I like this, nigga.

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Speaker 2: M M, I'm like primary.

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Speaker 3: I'm immediately like I would love for this to be

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Speaker 3: maybe my primary.

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Speaker 1: But I don't want him marry Mandy. No, no, no, no

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Speaker 1: relationship talk. You know how every time he's like on

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Speaker 1: TikTok and it's like a bitch on there and she's like,

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Speaker 1: your man is going to be intentional. He is going

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Speaker 1: to come to you and say I want You're gonna

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Speaker 1: be this. He is gonna let you know where you stand.

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Speaker 1: He's gonna da da da da dad. Let me tell

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Speaker 1: you something. This is twenty twenty four. This is a

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Speaker 1: new era of dating. Niggas just don't know until they

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Speaker 1: fucking start to know.

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Speaker 2: I mean, so.

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Speaker 4: Everyone, but no, no, no, And I'll be honest though, well

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Speaker 4: that's what I'm not into right now, like to me

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Speaker 4: if I am, which is why I'm looking at everyone

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Speaker 4: that I feel. No, I'm not into waiting for someone

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Speaker 4: to tell me i'm their is or there. I'm not

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Speaker 4: talking about waiting.

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Speaker 1: But let me just yeah, clarify that, because when I

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Speaker 1: say niggas don't know until they know, I also be

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Speaker 1: went into.

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Speaker 2: We kind of kind of go through these motions.

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Speaker 1: For example, before you fuck somebody, it's this weird representative

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Speaker 1: like we've been talking about, right me, Well, I.

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Speaker 3: Believe you know the first few dates. I think people.

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Speaker 1: I think men are nicer, more consistent in communication and talking.

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Speaker 2: I literally talk about this in the book.

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Speaker 1: I said, before the pussy game, everything is all good, right,

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Speaker 1: and then once they get the pussy, things start to

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Speaker 1: like mellow out. Men are so focused on getting pussy,

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Speaker 1: and the whole time we're so focused on making sure

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Speaker 1: they're worth the pussy. I think it takes a little

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Speaker 1: bit of time to figure out if someone's a fit,

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Speaker 1: and I think that we put so much pressure on

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Speaker 1: what that time looks like. For example, we're not dating

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Speaker 1: around because we're so folks. We as, and women are

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Speaker 1: not dating around because we're so focused on making sure

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Speaker 1: that guy is good, that guy's dating around and kind

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Speaker 1: of still learning how to see what women out of

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Speaker 1: those women are someone that's more special. You were saying

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Speaker 1: you don't like that. That seems like a waiting game,

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Speaker 1: but in reality, we all do that. I realized I

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Speaker 1: was going out in most relationships I was in, I

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Speaker 1: was happy with the person I was dating, but every

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Speaker 1: time that went out, I kind of looked for something better.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why I was always back there. I

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Speaker 1: probably did that with everyone but scissors and right now everyone,

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Speaker 1: even when obey, I would look at go out and

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Speaker 1: be like and I kind of just compare them to

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Speaker 1: my partner. And I really don't know why, but my

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Speaker 1: brain was always looking I just don't think that intentionality

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Speaker 1: is exactly black and white. I think there's a point

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Speaker 1: when intentionality starts. I think we all are dating, we're

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Speaker 1: all on these apps. There's a lot of people. This

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Speaker 1: is not fucking nineteen sixty four, when you went out

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Speaker 1: with one person and even if they were just okay,

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Speaker 1: you pushed it forward.

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Speaker 2: I think we've got to.

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Speaker 1: Kind of like, like, really wait and see if this

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Speaker 1: is a fit first, And there's so many rules that

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Speaker 1: we're putting on top of these people and dropping them

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Speaker 1: if they don't fit.

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Speaker 4: So that's the thing, and that's where maybe, and I

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Speaker 4: don't know where my tribe is of women that feel

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Speaker 4: the way I do. I'm me and my friends do

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Speaker 4: not actually operate that way. So I like all of

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Speaker 4: dating around No, no, no, you said women, we focus

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Speaker 4: and we allow men to do that. No, like my

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Speaker 4: friends bitch every time we get on the phone, we like, bitch.

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Speaker 2: I can't keep up. What's isn't it?

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Speaker 3: Dallas?

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Speaker 2: That is?

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm telling you. That's what my friends that

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Speaker 1: I do. I do not think that's an average woman. No,

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Speaker 1: I think the avoge dominum sating one.

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Speaker 4: No, you just got a little taste of the Horrible

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Speaker 4: Decisions Patreon, But why it's that there? Tap in for

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Speaker 4: the full, uncut and way nastier episodes over on Patreon.

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Speaker 4: Go to patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock

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Speaker 4: all the messyt wild stories and bonus content you won't

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Speaker 4: hear anywhere else. And now here's You've got Decisions.

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Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions,

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Speaker 1: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend or

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Speaker 1: a terrible throatfle.

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Speaker 4: Guess what You've got decisions, You've got decisions.

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Speaker 3: Welcome back, y'all.

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Speaker 1: We are here with another person's dilemma, another person's bullshit.

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Speaker 1: And just so you guys know, ygd you've got decisions.

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Speaker 1: You maybe listening to it on audio. If you would

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Speaker 1: like to see the full video, it's available on Patreon

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Speaker 1: where Horrible Decisions is Patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions

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Speaker 1: and if you want to send us all of your

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Speaker 1: drama and trauma, first priority goes to the Patreon dms. Yes,

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Speaker 1: second priority goes to decisions at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 3: That's right, that's right.

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Speaker 4: And you are listening to this just a week after

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Speaker 4: we did our Summer Walker side chick breakdown. Also this

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Speaker 4: week is our town hall, but really excited because boy,

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Speaker 4: it's Summer Walker not the only person having a side

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Speaker 4: chick dilemma. So the letter sense in this week is

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Speaker 4: called side chickship.

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Speaker 3: Here we go find you.

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Speaker 4: We have upgraded at the end of twenty twenty five

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Speaker 4: going into twenty twenty six, bucket situationship, side side chip,

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Speaker 4: side chick.

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Speaker 3: Ship is a new word. I love it, damn you girlies?

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Speaker 3: All right? Are you happy? Sister?

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Speaker 4: By the way, I love it because I saw a

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Speaker 4: Patreon comment weezy where someone was like, are y'all new here?

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Speaker 4: I feel like they'd be answering the same questions all

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Speaker 4: these years.

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Speaker 3: They didn't answer this before I saw that.

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Speaker 2: It's like, listen, they don't.

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Speaker 4: They need a situation here and this is giving you

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Speaker 4: just want to vent to us, But girl, we're gonna

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Speaker 4: tell you about yourself because literally the first line is ladies.

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Speaker 4: I feel like I know the answer, but I'm just

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Speaker 4: seeking confirmation. That is how the email starts. Ladies, y'all bitch,

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Speaker 4: just know what y'all doing. Some bullshit, but it's okay

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Speaker 4: to answer.

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Speaker 3: Weisie, and I are.

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Speaker 4: Here to confirm your thoughts. Okay, here we go. I

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Speaker 4: met this man on the BLK dating app. No, we'll

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Speaker 4: disclosure up front. He told me he was married, and

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Speaker 4: I didn't care. At the time, I had just moved

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Speaker 4: back to my hometown to a new management position and

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Speaker 4: was dating two other guys. I didn't foresee any problems

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Speaker 4: as he was just a little something to get my

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Speaker 4: feet wet.

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Speaker 3: Fast forward two years later, he.

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Speaker 4: Applied pressure and edged out the other guys, and we

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Speaker 4: are stupidly locked in. This is not a conventional side

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Speaker 4: check relationship. However, we be outside. I've met his family,

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Speaker 4: including the mama and the sister.

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Speaker 2: Oh, you have to say that I hang with him

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Speaker 2: on the.

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Speaker 4: Weekends when we're in town. We go out of town.

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Speaker 4: At least two weekends a month. He spends the night

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Speaker 4: every weekend. Weekends starts on Thursday, and at least two

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Speaker 4: days out of the week birthdays, holidays.

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Speaker 3: Were always together. Okay, he pays bills and even bought

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Speaker 3: me a car, burying the lead here.

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Speaker 4: But the wife knows about me. She found out about

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Speaker 4: me three months into quote unquote us. Hell, we're on

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Speaker 4: a three way text group.

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Speaker 1: I bad.

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Speaker 4: Time when she can't find When she can't find him,

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Speaker 4: she textes us the problem. The longer this relationship lasts,

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Speaker 4: I am being engulfed in guilt. If someone posed this

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Speaker 4: scenario to me as an outsider, I take the position

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Speaker 4: of the married individual owes the fidelity.

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Speaker 3: I'm not in charge of another.

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Speaker 2: One married individual.

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Speaker 3: Oh oh, oh, no, I don't feat on me.

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Speaker 4: So like the married individuals who owed you to be

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Speaker 4: faithful to not me, she said, I'm not in charge

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Speaker 4: of another woman's happiness. That being said, I never go

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Speaker 4: out of my way to hurt another black woman.

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Speaker 3: And the thing is, she's not that smart.

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Speaker 4: I have never confirmed, lady girl, she says, I have

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Speaker 4: never confirmed that I'm sleeping with her husband. I usually

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Speaker 4: just let her scream it into the void. She found

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Speaker 4: me on Facebook. We're both in our forties and start

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Speaker 4: she started calling me out. Had to block her. I

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Speaker 4: could really destroy her world, But why would I. She's

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Speaker 4: done nothing to me.

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Speaker 1: You kind of sound like a bitch alreadybody right. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to destroy anybody, but she's dumb.

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Speaker 4: But I've also never asked him to get a divorce.

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Speaker 4: I don't give a fuck about a divorce paper and

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Speaker 4: for that matter, or ring on my finger, been.

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Speaker 3: Married, got the T shirt? No thanks.

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Speaker 4: It seems like the only way out of my guilt

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Speaker 4: is he gotta leave her or me. Oh not him,

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Speaker 4: not she putting it in his hands. But she did

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Speaker 4: even feel guilt since she knows about him and has.

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Speaker 3: It kicked him out. Sorry so long, but.

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Speaker 4: Sorry, wait, she's asking should she even be guilty since

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Speaker 4: she knows what he's doing and has it.

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Speaker 3: Kicked him out?

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Speaker 4: So what's crazy is, girl, you have finessed your mind

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Speaker 4: to be like, well, he got to choose between me

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Speaker 4: and her, But also the wife also has it kicked

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Speaker 4: him out, So why do I feel bad at all?

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Speaker 4: It's up to them to figure out what they.

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Speaker 3: Got going on. That's how I read that.

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Speaker 4: And look, oh, y'all, if you are not on the Patreon,

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Speaker 4: Weezy just rolled her eyes into abyss, go ahead her.

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Speaker 3: Are you not mist No she's not.

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Speaker 4: Because she says she's been married, got the T shirt,

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Speaker 4: No thanks, she don't want to marry this man. But

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Speaker 4: she's also like guilty because I know I'm absolutely like

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Speaker 4: making this black woman unhappy because she's blocked me on Facebook,

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Speaker 4: she's brated me on Facebook.

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Speaker 3: Whatever. But also she's like.

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Speaker 4: Either he gotta leave you, or he gotta leave me,

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Speaker 4: or bitch, if you really that upset, you gotta leave him.

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Speaker 4: But basically she's saying she gonna be around until y'all decide.

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Speaker 3: What y'all finn to do. That's the thing I don't like.

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Speaker 1: Okay, why you say this's the thing I don't like.

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Speaker 1: I understand you may not want a nigga, like you

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Speaker 1: may not want the marriage.

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Speaker 3: She doesn't want a husband, and I actually can believe it.

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Speaker 1: But you are semi enjoying whatever perks of the relationship

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Speaker 1: you're getting because you gloated a little bit about meeting

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Speaker 1: the family and being on the group chat and to me, okay,

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Speaker 1: I can tell you this from experience. My homegirls that

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Speaker 1: really don't want a nigga.

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Speaker 3: Wouldn't even tell me all that.

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Speaker 1: Like I have homegirls that's fucking married niggas that just

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Speaker 1: be like, well, you know, I don't go to leave

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Speaker 1: back with her, and they be trying to put the

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Speaker 1: wife down kind of like you did. And the other

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Speaker 1: ones that like girl lock upe she keep him happycause

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Speaker 1: I don' want a nigga coming over here. I want

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Speaker 1: my space. I want him when I want him, And

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Speaker 1: that's it. You don't give that, sister, you don't.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's the thing.

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Speaker 4: She absolutely wants a man, which she has, she has

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Speaker 4: the relationship, and she's admitting that.

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Speaker 3: She doesn't want the ring. So she have a headache.

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Speaker 3: She's content, No, she feels like she is.

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Speaker 4: There's a level of guilt because because she knows this

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Speaker 4: other woman is now unhappy. Like yeah, I'm saying, like

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Speaker 4: this relationship though, like she's but that's what I'm not

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Speaker 4: what part is fucked up? And I'm only asking you

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Speaker 4: because me as a woman who doesn't want marriage as

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Speaker 4: my end goal either. If she's saying, I get him

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Speaker 4: every other weekend so I get my space, but I

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Speaker 4: also get holidays with him, I get birthdays with him.

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Speaker 3: He pays my bills. I'm not gonna lie, like.

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Speaker 4: What is making you feel like she's not being honest

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Speaker 4: because she actually seems like she's getting everything she wants

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Speaker 4: out of this relationship and she don't want the room

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Speaker 4: that another person is being hurt for this relationship that she's.

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Speaker 3: In, and you're gonna continue to feel guilty.

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Speaker 1: We can't just like pretend that you aren't a part

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Speaker 1: of the cycle of a marriage being broken up just

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Speaker 1: because you don't want somebody so like, admittedly, so the

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Speaker 1: only people I think that are exempt from this.

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Speaker 2: Are sex workers, because I only want to have a

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Speaker 2: job to do.

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Speaker 3: You met an go on a dating app who was

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Speaker 3: misleading that you knew was married out the gate, that you.

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Speaker 1: Knew was married out the gate he was missing, like

351
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,040
Speaker 1: you already know, you're jumping into mess. To me, sex

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00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,960
Speaker 1: workers are the only ones that have a true detachment,

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Speaker 1: which is why I don't think they ever should be

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Speaker 1: someone who's held accountable for the cheating. They provided a service.

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00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,520
Speaker 1: It's not their business the marital status. You're like really engaging,

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00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,760
Speaker 1: needing family, doing all this stuff. So yes, you know

357
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Speaker 1: you're hurting this person, so you and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't really believe her.

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Speaker 3: Is it's because like, but you're doing all this extra stuff.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, You're growing more intimate feelings,

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00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:37,080
Speaker 1: like you're you're like this is already the feelings, Like

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00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:39,679
Speaker 1: you're growing in deeper relationships, Like no, you're not just

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00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,359
Speaker 1: doing it for cash, because you enjoy doing all this

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00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,960
Speaker 1: other stuff with him. You like want the company, you

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Speaker 1: wanted to stay over. You even mentioned Thursday to this day, Like.

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Speaker 4: No, sah okay, Devil's advocate here, m hm. Because even

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00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:02,040
Speaker 4: when we saw about Summer Walker, we talked a lot

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Speaker 4: about Summer, We talked a lot about Tori, very little

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Speaker 4: about rich and we're.

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Speaker 3: Doing it here.

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Speaker 4: If women are willing to stay, if women are willing

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Speaker 4: to feel guilty, if women are willing to feel upset

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Speaker 4: but stay to what responsibility does the man have in

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Speaker 4: this at all? Because it seems like if there's a

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Speaker 4: group chat between them. Again, everyone's there's honesty somewhere, group

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00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,400
Speaker 4: chat between who there's a group chat.

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Speaker 3: She's sound like that.

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00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:41,639
Speaker 4: No, she said that there's a group chat between the

379
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Speaker 4: wife and her. She said, the wife knows about me.

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00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:48,520
Speaker 4: She found out about me three months into us. Hell,

381
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,520
Speaker 4: we're on a three way text group and when she

382
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:56,440
Speaker 4: can't find him, she textes me. And so it's weird

383
00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:00,399
Speaker 4: because you're waiting for him or her to leave. I

384
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:05,760
Speaker 4: don't know why, or for her to break up.

385
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Speaker 2: With him, because it's a mess.

386
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,640
Speaker 1: That's why she needs someone and she it's not a

387
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:14,000
Speaker 1: situation that works right. That's why I'm saying, like, I

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00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,560
Speaker 1: believe she kind of wants him, because why does the ending?

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Speaker 3: What was her last question?

390
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,199
Speaker 4: So, I think you're I think you're right too, and

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00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 4: I think that that's the reality of it.

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Speaker 3: Women want the one up.

393
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Speaker 4: So she said, I've never asked him to get a divorce.

394
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,720
Speaker 4: I don't give a fuck about a divorce paper. She said,

395
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,399
Speaker 4: it seems the only way out of my guilt is

396
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:35,720
Speaker 4: either he got to leave her or me. But should

397
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:39,000
Speaker 4: I even feel guilt since she knows about what he's doing?

398
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,520
Speaker 4: And hasn't kicked him out.

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00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,800
Speaker 1: Yes, you feel guilt because you're participating in the cycle.

400
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:47,679
Speaker 1: Now are you the real issue? No, you're not. The

401
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,440
Speaker 1: real issue is.

402
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:48,920
Speaker 2: The real issue.

403
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,480
Speaker 3: Let's talk what is the real issue here?

404
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 1: Oh, keeping a promise to a woman to stay faithful,

405
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,240
Speaker 1: to do whatever, to be there for and whatever their

406
00:19:56,280 --> 00:20:00,840
Speaker 1: loyalty looks like. And he disobeyed whatever clearly. But you

407
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,199
Speaker 1: also can't. I just don't think that the mistress, so

408
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,680
Speaker 1: to speak, like I don't know, I know.

409
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 3: What I'm doing when I participate in fun shit.

410
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,399
Speaker 1: So it's like, is a drug dealer really wrong because

411
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,720
Speaker 1: somebody going to buy the crack anyway?

412
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,639
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, you're still selling it working.

413
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,960
Speaker 1: With the nigga if you really you know, yeah, you

414
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 1: should feel the guilt. So it's just to me, it's

415
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:23,679
Speaker 1: like does it is he worth it or not? Is

416
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 1: your clear conscious or not worth it or not? And

417
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,719
Speaker 1: I also have a really big feeling about shit starting

418
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:33,480
Speaker 1: fucked up and ending fucked up, like my most successful relation.

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00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:37,359
Speaker 4: That's what they were saying about toy So Tori allegedly

420
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,760
Speaker 4: was the mistress whe Reichs the Kid when he was

421
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,879
Speaker 4: with his horrork Chloe Kardaskian.

422
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,640
Speaker 3: Tristane Kardashian wristed.

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Speaker 1: And it's really just like your relationship started with this

424
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:52,120
Speaker 1: like bad juju on it. And when I say start

425
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 1: fucked up, it may not even be in a cheating sense.

426
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,159
Speaker 1: Like there's this thing in No Holds Bart not to

427
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,760
Speaker 1: sell the book, but to sell the book and the

428
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,080
Speaker 1: No Holds Bart. I was like, oh, when I I

429
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,800
Speaker 1: found love, I was coming from a fully heilled place.

430
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Speaker 3: He was coming from a fully hilled place.

431
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 1: If my relationship ended for whatever reason, it was still

432
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Speaker 1: successful because we had something blossoming. Right.

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Speaker 3: I could say the same with scissors.

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00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 1: When we're in a place of feeling angry or insecure,

435
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 1: or you know, feeling down about ourselves or missing an X,

436
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,440
Speaker 1: that's starting something fucked up. This is in a coon

437
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 1: slate for these two people. That ex wife will always

438
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 1: come around if they ended. If he break up with

439
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,879
Speaker 1: that ex wife today, I mean with the wife today, babe.

440
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 1: And I'm talking to you and y'all moving together and

441
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,720
Speaker 1: everything cool. One day he's gonna stay late to a

442
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 1: bar with his friends and you're gonna be like, that's

443
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:37,919
Speaker 1: that shit you used to do to Michelle.

444
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 3: You ain't gonna do it to me and she'll never die.

445
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:40,879
Speaker 3: She'll never die.

446
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:44,199
Speaker 1: So but also you both know the type of man

447
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,159
Speaker 1: that y'all are dealing with at this point unless just

448
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,679
Speaker 1: talk for money or sex, which is not it's feeling.

449
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 4: I also hate too that And that's the thing though,

450
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 4: And this is the reality that we have to deal with.

451
00:21:55,600 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 4: Right she said he gotta leave her or me, y'all

452
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 4: both want to get chose.

453
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 3: I feel like he's where.

454
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 4: I feel like the person who wrote this letter may

455
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 4: genuinely be fulfilled in what they're getting from this relationship

456
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 4: with this guy. The wife isn't, however, you know who's

457
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 4: probably super fulfilled with what's happening. He is, so no,

458
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,560
Speaker 4: why would he feel like he has to choose either

459
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 4: of you when both of you women.

460
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,800
Speaker 2: Are choosing to say because he got his pay.

461
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 3: It is too.

462
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:33,439
Speaker 4: A man ain't ever gonna leave the side chick. The

463
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 4: spine would be in the side chick or the wife.

464
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,400
Speaker 4: Fine was knowing that he got a side chick.

465
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 1: I was listening to my homeboys have a conversation. One

466
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 1: time there was a girl.

467
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 3: Ah just hit my knee.

468
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 1: Everybody, Okay, oh my god, where's a girl in La.

469
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 1: We were all out and she was getting super emotional

470
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 1: in this club, and I was like, holy shit, and you,

471
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:53,959
Speaker 1: I don't know if you ever had this happen to you,

472
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 1: where like your homeboy be doing some shit to the

473
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,120
Speaker 1: girlfriend and the bitch be calling you cry.

474
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,040
Speaker 3: I felt like that was me. We all having a

475
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 3: good time. The girls in the corner, like he just

476
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,920
Speaker 3: does this to me, weezy and D D D. And

477
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,480
Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god. So we're all out,

478
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:09,919
Speaker 3: me three guys.

479
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 1: We end up with the fucking breakfast after and I'm like,

480
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,359
Speaker 1: can I ask y'all a serious question? Is it that

481
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,399
Speaker 1: the pussy is so good? Is it that it's a

482
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 1: power trip? Why do you keep fucking with these bitches

483
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 1: that you you know you're making sad?

484
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,919
Speaker 2: Like don't sad?

485
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 3: And bad? Like don't you really be like at some point?

486
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,280
Speaker 4: Apparently not until you're forty two, Like the game where

487
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,480
Speaker 4: you lose sleep over wasting women's time.

488
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 1: Fuck nigga Like, yeah, and I always say these things.

489
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 1: We're around thirties and forties, Okay, no twenty year old niggas.

490
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 2: But one of them said.

491
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 1: And I'm not quoting exactly, but he was like, I'm

492
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 1: almost so used to just my whole life, high school, college, adult,

493
00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 1: after marriage. Bitch is just always kind of of in

494
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,439
Speaker 1: my dating life. Even if I say I don't want

495
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 1: a girlfriend or wife right now, always needing and wanting

496
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 1: more for me. I'm always used to a girl making

497
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 1: me feel like I don't give her enough. So whether

498
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 1: she's just complaining in text about my time or crying

499
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 1: in my face, all of it balances out to the same.

500
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 1: And I'm never gonna leave a bit till she leave

501
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:24,399
Speaker 1: me because I feel like it's almost a woman's job

502
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,639
Speaker 1: to complain to me. I feel like there's always gonna

503
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,160
Speaker 1: be something that they want, and there's never a moment

504
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 1: where I'm looking at tears and thinking, oh, I'm the

505
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:36,640
Speaker 1: accountable one for this, just because you want a man

506
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 1: and I can't give it to you. If you're still here,

507
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 1: you must like something I'm doing. And all of the

508
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:42,680
Speaker 1: niggas was like, yeah, pretty much.

509
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 4: Ooh, And I think that that goes into what I

510
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 4: brought up in the book too, like in terms of

511
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 4: self worth or getting what you want out of a man.

512
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 3: If a man is not giving you what.

513
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,639
Speaker 4: You want, it's up to you to leave it, go

514
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 4: find somebody who will. There will always be somebody who will. Yo,

515
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 4: went the jene Aiko big sean thing. Girl, you've been

516
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 4: backing to get married for years. If he wasn't willing

517
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 4: to give it to you, you should have left ten

518
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 4: years ago.

519
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 1: Bro, My nigga said to me the other day, I

520
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 1: sent him this girl's hair I liked.

521
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,680
Speaker 3: He's like, oh shit, I fucked her. It's his influencer.

522
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 3: Like she's cute. I was like, damn, how you fucked

523
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 3: that up?

524
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 1: And he was like, she wanted him something more consistent

525
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 1: and I couldn't do it, so she had self worth.

526
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,919
Speaker 1: I was dying, Bro, I'm sorry, Well, bitch it me.

527
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 1: He's like they was telling me back in the day.

528
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 1: I don't text him up and I don't do this.

529
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 1: He's like some of the girls never leave, some of

530
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,120
Speaker 1: them did, and the ones that leave, he said, any

531
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 1: girl that it ended with real quick.

532
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 3: They was like, I ain't putting up with your shit.

533
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, nigga, Right when you're a single nigga and you

534
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:43,360
Speaker 1: got girls, it's like, I'm good.

535
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 3: I'm good.

536
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 4: He's like, Yo, very clear. I was on the phone

537
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 4: with this football player. This football nigga been been on

538
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 4: my goddamn line for about years.

539
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 3: But he not that cute to me. But I was like, okay,

540
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:55,360
Speaker 3: let me give him a little tried.

541
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 4: But like last year, we tried to talk and he

542
00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,399
Speaker 4: gave him litt attitude and I ain't got time for that.

543
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 3: So he came back on my line recently saying he

544
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 3: want to see me or whatever.

545
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:10,399
Speaker 4: So we on FaceTime and we get into like a

546
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 4: spat about bitch the government shut down.

547
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 3: But I'm like, but it was like so dumb that.

548
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 2: Dy.

549
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 3: Let me tell you real quick too, how he just

550
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:21,160
Speaker 3: don't listen.

551
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 4: So we on the phone and I was like, I

552
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 4: don't want no pimp pal he heard pimp, I said,

553
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 4: nig got don't.

554
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:26,400
Speaker 3: Even say pimp.

555
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,199
Speaker 4: But he got sorr right because he don't even know

556
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 4: how to listen, right. So then talking about the government

557
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:35,320
Speaker 4: shut down, I correct him it's something that he said wrong,

558
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 4: and girl, he got.

559
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 3: Into this whole man. It ain't even that serious. Ain't

560
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 3: even that serious.

561
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:40,120
Speaker 2: Bitch.

562
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:40,639
Speaker 3: I clocked.

563
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,920
Speaker 4: I clicked on him and he started texting bitch. I

564
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 4: blocked him immediately. I was like, bro, I don't want

565
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 4: no weird ass nigga who don't know how to communicate,

566
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 4: you already don't know, like and literally I was.

567
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 3: Like, bro, I don't care that you make millions that

568
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:55,920
Speaker 3: you in the NFL.

569
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 2: I'm not pressed.

570
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 3: What I know I'm not gonna put up with is

571
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:00,200
Speaker 3: a nigga who doesn't.

572
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 4: How to communicate effectively and a nigga who got attitude.

573
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:07,360
Speaker 3: It's okay, block not interested.

574
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 4: So I think, Yeah, when you, as a woman, get

575
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 4: to a point where you're not gonna put up with

576
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 4: bullshit and you deserve or you feel like you deserve

577
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,159
Speaker 4: to be with a nigga who gonnahow up how you

578
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 4: want them to show up, then you're gonna do it.

579
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 1: God would I stick around if you're not feeding it

580
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:25,679
Speaker 1: like a.

581
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:26,920
Speaker 3: Man and not give you what you want?

582
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,640
Speaker 4: And I do as long as y'all gonna take them crumbs,

583
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 4: A motherfucker is gonna feed you crumbs.

584
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:38,360
Speaker 1: Can I agree with the fact that, like, women should

585
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 1: absolutely be telling a man this is what I won't

586
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 1: put up with and leaving right after. If you stay,

587
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,040
Speaker 1: you can't bitch to a nigga be like I don't

588
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:55,480
Speaker 1: do this, I don't do that, and.

589
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:56,120
Speaker 3: You never go.

590
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 4: Girl, you at least got a fake go you want bruh,

591
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 4: don't they go that. Don't once you fake go and

592
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:07,919
Speaker 4: come back and up, motherfucker really just not.

593
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 3: Ship. A motherfucker will tell you to your face bit

594
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:17,920
Speaker 3: you ain't going nowhere. Oh oh. A man loves to

595
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 3: tell a bitch when.

596
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:23,159
Speaker 1: Summer walkers a few weeks ago, like you got some

597
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 1: self pork.

598
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 3: A man will humble you real quick and be like, you're.

599
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 1: Never gonna leave anyway, you never got. I was like,

600
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 1: and you know it anyway, y'all. If you want us

601
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 1: to braid you next, go to decisions pot at gmail

602
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 1: dot com and just fill us your team. Mandy also

603
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 1: has uh Mandy on the hotline.

604
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 3: We can respond.

605
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 4: And uh yeah, thank y'all so much. See y'all next

606
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 4: hump Days.

607
00:28:54,160 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 1: Poles, everybody CONVEXISTI condu with them between the dep