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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast

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Speaker 1: first minute Morning Show. Well, here we are again, gathering

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Speaker 1: for the fifteen minute Morning show podcast. There's Nate Garrett

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Speaker 1: is at the Jersey shore. Are you looking at the

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Speaker 1: ocean right now? Yeah? Block away? Yeah, I can see it,

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Speaker 1: smell it. Yeah. I got into a fight with a

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Speaker 1: seagull yesterday. They tried to steal my French fry. They

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Speaker 1: are the ruthless ruthless almost punched in the face. They

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Speaker 1: took it right out of her hand and flew away

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Speaker 1: with her sandwich. She had no lunch. So scary, right, scary.

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Speaker 1: There's Garrett. There's Dave Brody and almost as sexy and

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Speaker 1: romantic spot his house. What do you have behind you today, Brody? Oh,

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Speaker 1: I've got Harry Potter lego sets that I worked very

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Speaker 1: very hard on. Yeah, okay, did you say hard on.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back to that. Gary's Gary's here. Here's Danielle,

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Speaker 1: there's Gandhi. There's who's that? Oh, that's me? And there's

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Speaker 1: Froggy and then Scotty B. Where Scotty B. He's not

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Speaker 1: in his studio, larious with his waffle house? What's he eating?

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Speaker 1: Let's let's go Oh my god, let's watch him eat.

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Speaker 1: Let's watch he's not a slurper impressed. This is is

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Speaker 1: like we're at the zoo. What's watching the animals in

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Speaker 1: the exhibits? Feeding time? This is feeding time. Scotty B's

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Speaker 1: eating his pasta. Takes a long time to chew. You

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Speaker 1: know what's he doing? I wanna I wanna watch him

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Speaker 1: take another big old bite. Oh, here we go, Here

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Speaker 1: we go, here we go, here we go, here we go.

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Speaker 1: At all, that's a long head in the trap. Shit himself,

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Speaker 1: spin it, not even a little. He just look he

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Speaker 1: got a little wanted to wash it down, refreshing. What's

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Speaker 1: the opening there? What's this white? I think that's kind

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Speaker 1: bill looks like it's his crystal light. Oh it's his

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Speaker 1: drink mix. Oh look at that. He just choked it

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Speaker 1: all over the place, blew it out to the board.

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Speaker 1: Look at trying to get it all in there. Look

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Speaker 1: it's not going in. He's mad. He blew it into

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Speaker 1: the crevices of the audio console. We're gonna pay the price.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, he's got something on his hand. Now, this

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Speaker 1: is awesome. I can do this all day. Oh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: shake what your mama gave you he left his pasta

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Speaker 1: for too long though, I mean, I know it's gonna

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Speaker 1: get cold. Should someone tell him we want him to

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Speaker 1: eat faster? Scott I feel like people pay like web

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Speaker 1: girls to do this stuff and we're just getting a

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Speaker 1: show for hold on, we are He just mouthed the words,

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Speaker 1: Oh fuck, I swear to god he did. Look hold

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Speaker 1: on a second. I'm hold on. He's got to hit

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Speaker 1: a button and he's gonna come in here. He's got

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Speaker 1: no clue. We were watching him for the past five minutes.

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Speaker 1: I bet all that crystal light dust just shut down

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Speaker 1: the station. It did. You have to put on a

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Speaker 1: mask before you go into that studio, not because of

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Speaker 1: the COVID, because there's there's crystal light dust in the

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Speaker 1: air here timing something. Come on, Scottie, He's to have

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Speaker 1: one more bite of that pasta before he comes out.

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Speaker 1: Like I like the facts. His love for waffle House

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Speaker 1: is so great. He wears their promo T shirts. He loves.

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Speaker 1: But he got a box in the mail the other

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Speaker 1: day from waffle House. Here he goes. I told you

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Speaker 1: where he goes. He got a quick Oh he's wiping

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Speaker 1: up nice. Come on, Scotty, and how long. How long

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Speaker 1: have we been watching? And frog? H three and a

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Speaker 1: half minutes? Oh, coming in within Okay, here's a nice chest. Hey, Scotty,

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Speaker 1: we've been watching here for four minutes and you're putting

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Speaker 1: that crystal light dust under the board. We saw you

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Speaker 1: blow it under the board the garret. The package ripped

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Speaker 1: open and went everywhere. What are you? Blow it into

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Speaker 1: the audio console? Yeah? What's that? Garrett? Why do you

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Speaker 1: scoop or pasta? Why don't you twirl? Well, because it's spaghetti,

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Speaker 1: I just suck it, okay, but I have to do it.

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Speaker 1: I gotta do it delicately because I don't want the

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Speaker 1: sauce flying all over my shirt. So I do it suck. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I do it one strand at a time. So you

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Speaker 1: suck delicately, very delicate, so it doesn't fly all all

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Speaker 1: of you. I don't like the sauce on me. And

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Speaker 1: and I did see you. You were looking at the

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Speaker 1: screen doing something, and I saw you mouth the words,

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Speaker 1: oh fuck, What was that about? What happened? Well, you

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Speaker 1: know the crystal light packets, you're supposed to just tear

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Speaker 1: the top off and you pour it in the bottle.

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Speaker 1: When I went to tear the top, the whole thing

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Speaker 1: flew open on this the whole side opened up, so

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to waste it, so I had a

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Speaker 1: delicately poured into the bottle. All right, we'll go back

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Speaker 1: into your cage. We'll check back with you in the

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Speaker 1: moment when you don't know it all right, thanks, alright, alright,

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Speaker 1: once again I've been called in to mediate a problem

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Speaker 1: with the show. I'm understanding there's a skirmish going on

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Speaker 1: between Brody and Scary. What is that? Scary as you

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Speaker 1: may or may not know. This past weekend, Scary and

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Speaker 1: I finally got our first shipment of Brooklyn Boys podcast

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Speaker 1: T shirts and sweatshirts and whatnot, And so I drove

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Speaker 1: to his house yesterday. I picked up my portion of

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Speaker 1: the shirts and we made up to where the Brooklyn

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Speaker 1: Boys T shirts today on the podcast and him during

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Speaker 1: the show as a as a way to like let

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Speaker 1: people know we have the shirts, but they'll be cute.

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Speaker 1: So I got the shirt. I I steamed it last

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Speaker 1: night and I had it on and thirty five set

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Speaker 1: before this podcast started. He texted me and says, oh,

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Speaker 1: by the way, I forgot my shirt. So I had

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Speaker 1: to run upstairs to two floors to get another shirt quickly, wrinkle,

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Speaker 1: spray it and then come back down here. And why

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Speaker 1: couldn't he tell me at seven o'clock, eight o'clock? He

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Speaker 1: waits until right before the podcast. This is the this

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Speaker 1: you know. I know there's not a lot, a lot

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Speaker 1: going on during the pandemic, but and then I spilled

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Speaker 1: crystal light all the day you go upstairs and put

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Speaker 1: on a shirt. I agree, No offense. I mean, if

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Speaker 1: you are really busy all morning, I have a million

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Speaker 1: things going on, a million I didn't have. I didn't

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Speaker 1: have time to text you. It's like, oh, by the way,

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Speaker 1: I forgot tomorrow, I'll wear it. I'm sorry. No offense,

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Speaker 1: Brody Scotty, I mean, scary does have a lot more

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Speaker 1: going on than you do this morning. What are you saying?

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Speaker 1: Are you're right? He does? But you're saying in three

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Speaker 1: hours in ten minute commercial breaks, he couldn't text me. No,

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Speaker 1: he's posting stuff on social media at the top of

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Speaker 1: my mind. See that's the that's the problem. Brody wants

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Speaker 1: you to be more of a priority in his life. Yes, okay,

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Speaker 1: that that's the issue here, I do. He wants you

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Speaker 1: to like think of him whenever you think of anything,

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Speaker 1: put him in your thought as well. And that's okay, alright,

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Speaker 1: when you put me in your thought and you invite

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Speaker 1: me never Okay, okay, we're moving on. Thank you, Nate.

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Speaker 1: You said you had a question. What do you need

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Speaker 1: help with your Okay? Here all right? So you know,

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Speaker 1: hold on, I just heard a c gulf. Yeah, they're back.

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Speaker 1: They want to fight me, they want to fight Seriously,

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, go right ahead. Okay, So Elvis, here are

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Speaker 1: go to for a lot of different things. I know,

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Speaker 1: Froggy asks you a lot of different questions on many

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Speaker 1: very topics. Everybody comes to you for one reason or

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Speaker 1: other because you are a very this is this isn't

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Speaker 1: the this isn't the anal sex conversation. No, no it man.

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Speaker 1: It does have to do with that part of the body.

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Speaker 1: So but yeah, well kind of, Um if I so

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Speaker 1: I have a prostate issue right now. We were discussing

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Speaker 1: this on the Big Show, and I don't know how

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Speaker 1: to ask this question the podcast. Just ask it, ask it, um.

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Speaker 1: If I have to have my prostate examined, you've had

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Speaker 1: that done before, right daily, I'm kidding. Please continue, try

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Speaker 1: to just mow through the never static have any tips

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Speaker 1: for having tips? Oh my god, No, it's like hanging

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Speaker 1: out with ten year old boys in here A serious question. Here,

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Speaker 1: here's the tip. You just sit there and they do it.

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Speaker 1: That's it. What your doctor will do is we'll put it. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it is he or she will put a glove on.

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Speaker 1: My doctor happens to be a female. She's a woman.

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Speaker 1: She's the best. She puts a glove on. She sticks

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Speaker 1: her finger up your butt hole. She takes it up

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Speaker 1: and she puts it on a like a a paper

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Speaker 1: to see if it changes color or something like that.

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Speaker 1: It's all. That's all it is. Just let her in

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Speaker 1: your let him in your butt just for a second,

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Speaker 1: and they pull it out. Don't They put on their

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Speaker 1: fingertip first on their I don't think. No, No, what's

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Speaker 1: that flying by? I don't turn that. They're probably changing

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Speaker 1: no more cars. It's getting very busy at the beach. No.

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Speaker 1: I don't think they put jelly on there. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't have to put some sort of lubricant, don't

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Speaker 1: they don't they do? I don't know. I think I

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Speaker 1: think I think they do. They have to, because when

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Speaker 1: you're getting a gynecological exam, they put something on. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't think entry ways to the same. Like sometimes

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Speaker 1: it's like a single garage door and then other times

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Speaker 1: it's like a parking garage. So I think they sometimes

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Speaker 1: they need lube. There has to be a YouTube video

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Speaker 1: on this, so let's go watch it as a show.

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Speaker 1: You know, it seems like to me that the lube

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Speaker 1: would would would distort the sample test results. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to go. I I would like as smooth entry

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Speaker 1: as possible. Well, wouldn't we all? Here's my my thought. Uh,

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Speaker 1: it's it's one of these things that's out of your control.

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Speaker 1: And you know that you've been in the hospital a

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Speaker 1: lot with strokes and heart attacks and everything. Um, you

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Speaker 1: just put your life in their hands and just don't

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Speaker 1: even question it. They'll take care of you. No, it's

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Speaker 1: gonna get It's not in there very long, right, It's

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Speaker 1: not like at all. It's like no, it's like boo

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Speaker 1: elevator button. I paid extra? Yeah, yeah, any other question, Yes,

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Speaker 1: if you pay, they stay in there longer. Do they

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Speaker 1: kiss you and tell you they love you? Yes? Gandi?

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Speaker 1: What did you find out? Okay, So, first of all,

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Speaker 1: this says they do use a bit of lube on

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Speaker 1: a gloved finger to gently insert into the rectum, gentle

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Speaker 1: being the key. But I also had a question for

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Speaker 1: you after all of this, I would like to know

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Speaker 1: in order, who's microphones would you like to shut off?

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Speaker 1: You know what? I can't answer that. I'll tell you

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Speaker 1: why because it changes there. You know. Am I generally

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Speaker 1: near the top of the list every day? Yes, absolutely consistently. No, No,

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Speaker 1: I don't want anyone's microphone off all right? Daniel questions, wait, wait, wait,

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Speaker 1: what if it's the doctor's first Like you're the doctor's

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Speaker 1: first exam and he's friend new it doing like slip?

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Speaker 1: I think they practice on dolls and them cadaver They

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Speaker 1: do all kinds of stuff to cadavers. To they do

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Speaker 1: so when you donate your body to science, like, is

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Speaker 1: that something that they could be doing on you when

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't know they could be if you If you

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Speaker 1: don't your body to science, it's theirs they can do you.

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Speaker 1: You don't care that I might care about. Look Scotty,

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Speaker 1: how's that spaghetti? Look at it? He's going down on it.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to have any questions, Garrett, uh um, No,

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Speaker 1: I'm a bad cooking general. So this this is a

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Speaker 1: whole another podcast. You know, el time of all trades

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Speaker 1: though you you really are because like I called you for,

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Speaker 1: I've called you for lots of cooking advice, I've called

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Speaker 1: you for bodily advice. I called you for gardening advice

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Speaker 1: on Saturday, and you knew the answer right off the bat.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm telling you, you are a plethora of information

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Speaker 1: you have right off the top of your head. And

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Speaker 1: you could be bullshitting or you could We really know

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Speaker 1: what you're talking about. I don't know. They say it

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Speaker 1: comes across like what were you saying? Brodie? Are we

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Speaker 1: gonna give equal time to pap smears? I couldn't answer

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Speaker 1: those questions. I don't know about pap smears? Is he

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Speaker 1: a friend of yours? They do? Yeah, but you can

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Speaker 1: see the doctor when you're doing it. We can't. Oh,

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Speaker 1: why you know what they do with the thing that

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Speaker 1: they stick and you It goes in normal and then

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Speaker 1: it spreads out? Would you like that? I don't think like?

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Speaker 1: But don't you think it's like the pizza the server

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Speaker 1: that they use it like pizzeria Uno? That's what it

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Speaker 1: looks like. I don't Whenever wait. Whenever I see the

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Speaker 1: pizzeria Uno people and they have it in their back

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Speaker 1: pocket while they're walking around the restaurant, I go, that

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Speaker 1: looks like the guind of the guy to college the

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Speaker 1: casseroll clamps? Is that what it's called a casserole clamp?

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Speaker 1: I didn't know that it is a speculum. It's it's

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Speaker 1: a casserole clam. Mind if mind if I keep this pizza?

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Speaker 1: You mind if I clamp your casserole? This is a

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Speaker 1: foul conversation. Can we talk about gardening or anything? But

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Speaker 1: wait a minute, it is gardening sometimes if you're not,

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Speaker 1: you know, well taken care of for the doctor, it

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Speaker 1: could be like gardening. And some of them are growing

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Speaker 1: all sorts of things. What's your question, Froggy, No, I

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Speaker 1: might question to you on Saturday? Was not dirty. I

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Speaker 1: didn't have a dirty question at all. It was nothing

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Speaker 1: it was it was it was very clean. I had

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Speaker 1: little small plants that they need to put in large planters,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't want to fill it all with dirt

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Speaker 1: because I thought it would be too heavy and too costly.

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Speaker 1: So I called Alvius and asked him what do you

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Speaker 1: fill a planter with? And he knew right off the

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Speaker 1: bat he had multiple options and it worked, and I

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Speaker 1: did it and it's it worked perfect. So you need

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Speaker 1: to give yourself a little more credit. Thank you. I

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Speaker 1: got one. I got one, alright. So elvis um, you've

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Speaker 1: got me into rose? You you and you know I

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Speaker 1: drink cider, but hard hard alcohol. What would be the

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Speaker 1: best hard drink to jump into? Like into the shallow end?

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Speaker 1: If I'm having like a hard drink. It depends on

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Speaker 1: what you want. You know, it's summertime. I I would

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Speaker 1: say this, go get some watermelon juice in tequila with

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Speaker 1: a squeeze of lime. It's fabulous. It's refreshing. Watermelon juice, tequila,

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Speaker 1: a squeeze of lime. Got it? Or I could go down.

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Speaker 1: I have a list of a million things. How about

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Speaker 1: a nice gimlet? Have a gimlet? All right, I'll google

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Speaker 1: that later. Gimlet some roses, lime juice, Yes, got it? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm bored answering questions. Can I just sit back and

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Speaker 1: let someone else answer questions for a while? I like

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Speaker 1: Gandhi's question. That was my favorite. I appreciate it. You

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Speaker 1: didn't answer it, yeah, answer, well, I did answer. The

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Speaker 1: question was if in order which Mike's do you want

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Speaker 1: to turn off first, in order of names? Whatever? And

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Speaker 1: I said it changes every day, right, that was my answer.

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Speaker 1: I can't answer that question, okay, but I like that

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Speaker 1: he does have answers that there are mikes he wants

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Speaker 1: to turn off. So now we can all just wonder

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Speaker 1: and fret who is it? Is it me? I don't

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Speaker 1: know that was a smart play. We've been going for

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Speaker 1: fifteen and a half minutes. Oh God, coming back, and

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Speaker 1: I'm not all right, I gotta go. Good luckily, just

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Speaker 1: eagulls there. What an awful problem to have. Seagulls. You're

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Speaker 1: at the shore. Oh you try to come fight the seagulls, Garrett,

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Speaker 1: I want to be there, all right, have a nice day.

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Speaker 1: Bye bye. The fifteen Minute Morning Show