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Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Americ

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Speaker 1: Trend Cars and They're Blinding trend Lights. I am Jack

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Speaker 1: O'Brien and I'm thrilled to be joined by a very

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Speaker 1: special guest co host, our headlights expert man on the

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Speaker 1: streets peering into your headlights. It is Brian the Editor.

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Speaker 2: Hi, everybody, it's me, your your friendly neighborhood headlight expert

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Speaker 2: who can talk about headlights endlessly.

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Speaker 3: Because I'm boring.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know had you talked about headlights before, because

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Speaker 1: super producer Victor was like, not gonna lie to you.

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Speaker 1: Just saw this headline, knew that Brian was in today

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Speaker 1: and threw it in there. Because once you get this

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Speaker 1: guy talking headlights.

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Speaker 3: I think I just have that kind of vibe.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, has opinions on very specific shit.

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Speaker 2: I have a really really headlight kind of Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Vobes, the vobes are headlight. All right, Well, let's start

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Speaker 1: off with it. There is a article on America's foremost

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Speaker 1: news source, CNN dot Com. Unclear if this went with

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Speaker 1: the idefs. Yeah, unclear if this has been filtered through

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Speaker 1: the idea, but it basically the idea is our headlights

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Speaker 1: are a couple years, nay a decade behind the headlights

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Speaker 1: in other parts of the world, including Europe, China and Canada.

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Speaker 1: The thing they've been working with and this is news

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Speaker 1: to me. I did not know about. These headlights are

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Speaker 1: called ADB, No, not ODB, ADB automatic that I should

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Speaker 1: have God damn it, I should have looked it up.

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Speaker 1: Adaptable to events beams. Fuck, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Wait, let's just make the whole show guessing what automatic

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Speaker 2: dimming bulb showing that?

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Speaker 1: So they we have automatic dimmers. We have the thing

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Speaker 1: on our cars where on some models of your car

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Speaker 1: where if it senses another car coming the opposite direction,

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Speaker 1: it will go from high beam to low beam automatically,

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Speaker 1: and then once the car has passed, it'll go back

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Speaker 1: up to high beam. That is apparently broke shit. That

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Speaker 1: is like way outmoded technology. The real headlight technology these

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Speaker 1: days is like it stays. The high beams stay on,

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Speaker 1: except they sort of wrap themselves around the oncoming cars

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Speaker 1: like they are able by being made up of a

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Speaker 1: bunch of different LED pixels. They're able to project light

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Speaker 1: in specific locations on the road so that oncoming driver

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Speaker 1: is not blinded and you're able to see as if

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Speaker 1: you're using high beams the whole time. Superproducer Victor has

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Speaker 1: entered a guess, adaptive driving beam. Yeah, nice, triasshole. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm just hiking that. I think that's the actual answer.

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Speaker 1: Good guess Victor will have to see if it's right. No, okay,

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Speaker 1: so they're adaptive driving beams, and they are technology is

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Speaker 1: available everywhere else. I am suspicious of this article because

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Speaker 1: it seems to suggest that the problem here is regulation

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Speaker 1: and that we just need more deregulation on our headlights.

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Speaker 3: Yas are getting.

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Speaker 2: In the way of us making It's like, okay, cool, Like,

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Speaker 2: let's let's just get this out of the way first.

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Speaker 2: If safety was a concern for automakers, this would this

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Speaker 2: is probably not Like the first thing I would go

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Speaker 2: with is digging around with the headlights. There's a lot

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Speaker 2: of ways to make cars and roads safer. This is

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Speaker 2: definitely a problem, sure, but like, I don't know, it's

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Speaker 2: just this whole this whole thing stinks to me because

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Speaker 2: it's coming from CNN. I don't trust them. H And yeah,

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Speaker 2: this is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the idea that so they're saying basically, they're saying

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Speaker 1: that our beams are too bright, but there's like all

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Speaker 1: these regulations that say, like it can't turn on too

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Speaker 1: quick because there's a chance it'll blind people. But I

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Speaker 1: feel like there's I don't know, we we have really

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Speaker 1: blinding headlights these days.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they that's definitely an issue.

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Speaker 2: But I'm like, I don't know, like what there's like

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Speaker 2: science fictiony shit out there that you can you you

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Speaker 2: can put on a car like lightar or you know,

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Speaker 2: camera raised all sorts of things that can like see

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Speaker 2: through fall like light ar can just see through fog,

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Speaker 2: infrared can just see through fog.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, Okay, you're talking.

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Speaker 2: About Mercedes and it's not like this this technology They're

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Speaker 2: going to put this in a Kia next year or

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Speaker 2: something like this. This is fancy technology for fancy cars.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, just just put ADSB and you know,

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Speaker 2: light are in these cars so they can actually see

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Speaker 2: through the dark and you don't have to just put

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Speaker 2: more photons out there. Like it's cool technology, But I'm like,

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Speaker 2: there's there there are cooler, safer things out there, and

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Speaker 2: this just seems like maybe a scheme to deregulate the

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Speaker 2: auto industry even more.

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Speaker 1: Right. They're like, yeah, it's just it's suspicious to me

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Speaker 1: that you know, the EU is far more strict when

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Speaker 1: it comes to selling foods that are considered poison, but

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Speaker 1: they get skittish around headlights. It just feels like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: maybe this is a scheme where like Detroit holds out

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Speaker 1: on this one thing, and it is like, I don't know, guys,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna need to support some deregulations so that they can,

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Speaker 1: you know, start selling cars that run on you know,

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Speaker 1: the blood of baby deer. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: It's interesting because my understanding, I have a thing with

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Speaker 2: tail lights. Tail Lights are confusing to me in North

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Speaker 2: America because they just sort of because of deregulation, they

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Speaker 2: let you put whatever colors you want, Like if you

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Speaker 2: want just red and white lights in the back, like

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Speaker 2: you can find a car that does that. But really

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Speaker 2: it should be red for a break, yellow for turning,

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Speaker 2: white for reverse. That's what it should be on every car, right,

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Speaker 2: so that it's not confusing. It's not, yeah, I guess

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Speaker 2: not North America. It's not like it's a free for all,

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Speaker 2: but there are certain models of cars that do not

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Speaker 2: adhere to that, and it's confusing. And my understanding is

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Speaker 2: this is not the case in Europe. That is something

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Speaker 2: they've mandated that you have. It has to follow this

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Speaker 2: sort of scheme. So it's it's interesting that they, you know,

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Speaker 2: the EU would have regulations regarding the ass end.

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Speaker 3: Of the car and not the front.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So I'm like, I don't.

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Speaker 2: Think this is that like serious really Like there's look,

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Speaker 2: there's like how many how many road fatalities are caused

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Speaker 2: by temporary blindness as opposed to I don't know, like

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Speaker 2: your self driving car who shit itself driving?

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Speaker 3: Just running people over? Yeah, Like, I don't know, regulate that.

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Speaker 1: Maybe are people looking at their highly addictive phones while driving?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe having a seventeen inch fucking tablet in your

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Speaker 2: Tesla is a little distracting.

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Speaker 3: It probably shouldn't be there.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, how else am I going to play my

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Speaker 1: video games while driving? No?

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Speaker 2: No, no, how are you going to make beats? Are

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Speaker 2: you going to make beats in your Tesla? Because you can?

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Speaker 2: There is a DAW in Tesla's by the FYI everybody,

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Speaker 2: there's a digital audio workstation.

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Speaker 3: Oh in your Tesla.

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Speaker 1: I thought you meant DAW like I'm gonna fight me

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Speaker 1: da and.

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Speaker 3: I wanna fight me da?

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Speaker 1: Ah what I scream? Every time I get drunk, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna fight me. DA shout out to Matt Leeb.

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Speaker 2: All right, all right, all right, I've talked enough about headlights.

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Speaker 2: It's been forty five minutes. I've got twenty minutes of

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Speaker 2: audio already.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, yeah, cut off here. I just sometimes

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Speaker 1: I like to poke my head into the somewhat depressing

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Speaker 1: world of like people who are still receiving fundraising emails

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Speaker 1: from Donald Trump and like, uh, you know, still being like, oh,

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Speaker 1: he's he needs our support, honey. They got fake Valentine

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Speaker 1: money request from Donald Trump. It feels like he might

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Speaker 1: be running out of dumb ways to convince people to

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Speaker 1: give him money. So this latest attempt was a Valentine's

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Speaker 1: Day love letter to his wife Milania that was then

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Speaker 1: emailed out to the public. But yeah, I don't I

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Speaker 1: don't know exactly what the idea is here. The email begins,

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Speaker 1: Dear Milania, I love you, and then goes on to say,

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Speaker 1: even after every single indictment, arrest, and witch hunt, you

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Speaker 1: never left my side. You've always supported me through everything.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't be the man I am today without your guidance,

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Speaker 1: kindness and warmth. You will always mean the world to

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Speaker 1: me Milania from your husband with love Donald J. Trump.

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Speaker 1: I like how they're like holding our hands through it.

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Speaker 1: Your husband from your husband, Donald J.

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Speaker 2: Trump, from your husband future President Donald Day Trump.

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Speaker 1: Then it offers recipients the chance to send your love

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Speaker 1: to Milania, which takes you to a page to send

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Speaker 1: her personalized messages and donate to the Trump campaign and

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Speaker 1: amounts ranging from twenty dollars and twenty f four cents

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty four to threey three hundred. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what that signifies.

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Speaker 2: I feel like this is like one step away from

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Speaker 2: an only fans.

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Speaker 4: It really is like the only fans of theation, so

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Speaker 4: close to only fans watch Donald and Malania fuck on

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Speaker 4: Valentine's Day for the low price, Like truly, it's just like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: it really is just only fans, man, But it is

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Speaker 4: truly just like to the degree that OnlyFans is like,

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Speaker 4: you know, a cult of personality, like you're just paying

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Speaker 4: to have a parasocial relationship with somebody. That feels like

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Speaker 4: a lot of what has gone on with Trump and

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Speaker 4: his supporters in a lot of cases.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like.

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Speaker 2: He's gonna be on what's that one where you can

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Speaker 2: get like a celebrity to give you a shout out

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Speaker 2: cameo cameo Like, I feel like he's gonna hop on

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Speaker 2: cameo with it just all revenue streams.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just like he's I think, on par for

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Speaker 1: a lot of people with like that. That is why

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Speaker 1: it's somewhat interesting that the Trump like supporter base, like

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Speaker 1: the body rejected Taylor Swift, because I feel like he's

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Speaker 1: kind of Taylor Swift, like on the level of Taylor Swift,

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Speaker 1: like a religious figure to his supporters who are just

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Speaker 1: kind of willing to do anything for him, and so

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Speaker 1: them seeing that in someone else probably enrages them in

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Speaker 1: the same way that you know, the thing that you

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Speaker 1: have wrong with you is going to really bother you

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Speaker 1: when you see it on somebody else, you know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So anyways, shout out to the lovely couple. I hope

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Speaker 1: they made lots of money.

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Speaker 3: Lots of lots so much money.

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Speaker 1: Yes, all right, let's take a quick break. We'll be

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Speaker 1: right back, and we're back. Speaking of Valentine's Day, Brian

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Speaker 1: the Editor, I have tiny conversation hearts made by Brocs

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Speaker 1: that my kids brought home from school. I've got one

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Speaker 1: that says sweet, I'm showing it to you in the camera.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to eat it now. I haven't eaten one

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Speaker 1: of these in a long time. I will report back

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Speaker 1: at the end of this story.

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Speaker 3: Oh man, after you've wrenched your mouth out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, it really does.

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Speaker 2: His eyebrows are going, folks, his eyebrows are going their

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Speaker 2: furrow way.

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Speaker 1: Just snowing off my face.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it really does look like you're eating chalk, just

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Speaker 2: based off of your face alone.

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Speaker 1: It really is. I think I expect it to be

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Speaker 1: even more crumbly and than it is. It's actually it

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Speaker 1: like hangs together too much. It really is. I think

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Speaker 1: you said this before that it has the consistency of

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Speaker 1: hardened toothpaste and kind of the flavor of hardened toothpaste.

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Speaker 1: That was the experience that I just have combination of

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Speaker 1: hardened toothpaste and like medicine. It had it like has

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Speaker 1: the flavor of like the bright pink medicine, but not

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Speaker 1: the good ones like there there are sometimes when you

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Speaker 1: can still taste the medicine a little bit too much.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it didn't. It didn't.

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Speaker 2: Just just reading your face, it didn't look like, uh,

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Speaker 2: it didn't look like a good time.

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Speaker 1: Well, Brian, as you know, I have a masterful poker face. Uh,

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Speaker 1: and it's impossible to tell what I'm thinking or experiencing

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Speaker 1: at any given moment. Brian and Miles are always like,

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Speaker 1: I could tell you weren't a fan of that part

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Speaker 1: of the show. Yeah, and start weeping. Big news in

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Speaker 1: the world of Madam Webb. That viral line where Madam

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Speaker 1: Webb says he was in the Amazon with my mom

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Speaker 1: when she was studying spiders before she died. I think

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Speaker 1: I don't think I got the order right, but that

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Speaker 1: is essentially what is said.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, there's something to that effect.

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Speaker 1: Dude, that's not even in the movie. H he was

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Speaker 1: in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching

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Speaker 1: spiders right before she died. Is the line that was

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Speaker 1: in the trailer, not in the movie. The movie cuts

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Speaker 1: it down to like, yeah, she was researching spiders or something.

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Speaker 2: Well, maybe they realized how fucking clunky that line was

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Speaker 2: in that.

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Speaker 1: They might have film. Yeah, so someone got embarrassed by

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Speaker 1: the fact that this went viral. Instead of being like

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Speaker 1: we've done our job here and now people are talking

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Speaker 1: about Madam Webb, they were like, oh no, that line

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Speaker 1: is bad, which is a bummer, because you, like part

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Speaker 1: of you wants to believe this was some genius who

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Speaker 1: just like has a sense of like that what is

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Speaker 1: going to go viral? But instead it was like somebody

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Speaker 1: being like they don't appreciate my dialogue.

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Speaker 3: Now you gotta stand on that shit, guys, like you

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Speaker 3: really do. Yeah, people were look, it's like one of.

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Speaker 2: The few things people were responding to, like lean into

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Speaker 2: the fucking camp yeah, because yeah, because people are not

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Speaker 2: gonna take this movie seriously anyway.

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Speaker 1: I mean, how could you be embarrassed by that line

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Speaker 1: but still release a movie in which the main character's

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Speaker 1: name is Cassie Webb and like, so her her last

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Speaker 1: I don't know unless like half the movie is spent

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Speaker 1: talking about nominative nominative determinism, Like how are you gonna

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Speaker 1: be like, yeah, no, this movie is not campy enough

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Speaker 1: for that line. But then the character's name is Web

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Speaker 1: and she becomes a superhero that has something to do

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Speaker 1: with spiders.

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Speaker 2: Well, well, you know what's funny, jack is I think

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Speaker 2: at this point that Sony has to have some somebody

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Speaker 2: with the name of Web associated with a Spider Man film,

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Speaker 2: because the amazing Spider Man and The Amazing Spider Man

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Speaker 2: two were directed by director named Mark Webb.

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Speaker 1: That's true. I mean, nominative determinism is interesting and it

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Speaker 1: seems to be real in many cases. I just it

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Speaker 1: feels like you couldn't do this movie without that being

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Speaker 1: the explicit subject of the movie. And maybe it is.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I'm missing out on I haven't seen it yet.

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Speaker 2: Well, can't wait, can't wait to see what other things

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Speaker 2: were excised from the trailer out of embarrassment, pure embarrassment.

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Speaker 1: If you don't know what nominative determinism is. Usain Bolt

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Speaker 1: was named Usain Bolt at birth and became the fastest

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Speaker 1: man on Earth. That's all you need to know about,

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Speaker 1: you know. It was just like he lived inside a

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Speaker 1: name that suggested he should be incredibly fast and then

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Speaker 1: turned into that. So Cassie Webb, she was just a

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Speaker 1: regular old ambulance driver living inside that that name turned

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Speaker 1: her into. I don't even fucking know.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what exactly it's supposed.

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Speaker 1: To happen there in the future, somehow, is she?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Is this It's like that Nicholas Cage movie. Next.

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Speaker 1: I think I think there's some next.

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Speaker 3: There's some next in there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's next dish, all right, we want to do

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Speaker 1: our quick check in with the bullshit news stories of

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Speaker 1: the week in case any of these cross to your radar.

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Speaker 1: There was UFO footage that was apparently coming out of Sweden.

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Speaker 1: It looked like a nineteen forties UFO photograph, like, but

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Speaker 1: put into motion.

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Speaker 2: I don't even understand how a photo this fucking bad

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Speaker 2: exists in twenty twenty four.

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Speaker 3: What camera did they use? It's so bad?

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Speaker 1: Well, it was a night vision camera. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Our writer Jam thought it was pretty convincing looking.

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Speaker 3: That explains the grain, Okay, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Unfortunately, like when you do a reverse image search, it

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Speaker 1: is sourced back to a designer on Instagram whose previous

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Speaker 1: posts include mock ups of race cars and Star Wars characters.

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Speaker 1: So it's a three D artist. So I think in

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Speaker 1: motion it looks a little bit better than just the

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Speaker 1: still image, but it had it had some people fold didn't.

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Speaker 1: Didn't hit my radar, but I yeah, I don't think

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Speaker 1: the first thing we hear about UFOs is going to

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Speaker 1: be somebody captured like snapping a pick with their with

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Speaker 1: their phone.

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Speaker 2: And I don't think UFOs are going to follow popular

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Speaker 2: human conventions of what UFOs are going to look like.

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Speaker 1: They're going to look like a python. Yes, they are.

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Speaker 2: Going to look Please move past this, like like, have

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Speaker 2: some fucking imagination, people, Why why would it look like this?

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Speaker 1: It is a classic UFO. But I mean that is

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Speaker 1: what the people, like the astronaut and the Air Force

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Speaker 1: pilots said they looked like back in the forties when

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Speaker 1: they saw them. Now it seems like people are more

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Speaker 1: likely to see tic TACs.

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Speaker 2: I've known people who've seen ticktacs orbs, you know, lighter rays,

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Speaker 2: stuff like that. Like my mom saw a tiktak in

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Speaker 2: the hell? Was she early sixties? I guess, oh wow, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and she claims her whole little town saw it, and yeah,

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Speaker 2: spooked people out. So I'm like, I like, you know,

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Speaker 2: I want to believe, Okay, I believe the truth is

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Speaker 2: out there, but not like this, not like this.

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Speaker 1: Not like this, guys speaking of not like this. That

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Speaker 1: a movie poster was making the rounds for a Clueless

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Speaker 1: reboot June twenty twenty four. Or you've got Don Draper's

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Speaker 1: daughter from Madmen up front, Kiernan Shipka is that it, yeah,

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Speaker 1: looks like And then you got Alicia Silverstone and Paul

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Speaker 1: Rudd in the back, standing next to a pink convertible.

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Speaker 1: The poster could not look more badly, Like it just

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Speaker 1: looks like a child's photoshop project, and like it's like

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Speaker 1: nothing about it looks real pretty low quality. I don't

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Speaker 1: think this fooled any of our listeners, but it in

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Speaker 1: case you hear, oh did you hear there's a new

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Speaker 1: Clueless movie coming out June twenty twenty four, Uh, there

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Speaker 1: is not. Would love would love to see it, you know,

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Speaker 1: why not? This does not appear to be happening. I

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Speaker 1: do wonder if this was like the studio or the agency, yeah,

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Speaker 1: being like huh, well, I mean people are talking about.

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Speaker 2: It because I mean, yeah, it's like it's not that,

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Speaker 2: you know, Barbie was a hit. Who's an Who's another affluent,

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Speaker 2: blonde white woman who took the world by storm exactly?

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Speaker 3: So why not?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's probably coming, but just not like this,

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Speaker 1: as we said up top, and then the Texas megachurch

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Speaker 1: shooter was not a trans woman. There was In case

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Speaker 1: you didn't notice this particular mass shooting, there was on

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Speaker 1: Sunday a shooting at Joel Austin's megachurch in Houston, and

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Speaker 1: a number of right wingers, including Ted Cruz and Donald

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Speaker 1: Trump Junior, promoted the false rummers that the shooter was

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Speaker 1: a trans woman, even though the police themselves plainly stated otherwise.

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Speaker 1: The shooter had previously used male names as aliases, and

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Speaker 1: that was all they needed. Like Fox News straight up

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Speaker 1: published the claim as fact, even putting it in the

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Speaker 1: headline of their article. And yeah, it's it's been contradicted,

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Speaker 1: and you know, there's absolutely no evidence that it's true.

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Speaker 1: But the right has been doing this desperately, trying to

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Speaker 1: convince people that, you know, the shooter in a big

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Speaker 1: mass shooting is trans, like with Uvalde in twenty twenty two,

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Speaker 1: I remember that Philadelphia in twenty twenty three. They got

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Speaker 1: a real fixation on this. It's almost like there's some

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Speaker 1: you know, statistic at the core of mass shootings that

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Speaker 1: they don't want to pay attention to, such as that

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Speaker 1: it's almost always males. It's almost always just gender males guys. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, or you know, yeah, or like they want

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Speaker 1: to come up with a narrative distraction from the fact that,

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Speaker 1: you know, the real story is that guns should not

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Speaker 1: be as available as they are. This person had a

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Speaker 1: history that should have made it impossible for them to

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Speaker 1: buy guns, but they had bought an AR fifteen legally

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Speaker 1: that they used in Sunday's shooting.

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Speaker 3: So well, yeah, what if the King of England comes

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Speaker 3: stomping up to your house?

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Speaker 1: That's true, then what do we do? Never mind what?

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Speaker 1: I take it all back, I rest my case your honor.

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Speaker 1: All right. Those are some of the things that are

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Speaker 1: trending on this Thursday, February fifteenth. We are back tomorrow

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Speaker 1: with a whole last episode of the show. Whole as Brian,

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Speaker 1: whole ass, Brian the Editor. Where can people find you?

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Speaker 1: Follow you, hear you?

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Speaker 3: You can find me on Twitter, Brian the Editor. That's

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Speaker 3: Brian with a Y and don't.

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Speaker 1: Talk to me, leave me the fuck alone. Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: can find me at jack Underscore Brian on the same place.

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Speaker 1: Back tomorrow. Till then, be kind to each other, be

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Speaker 1: kind to yourselves, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about

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Speaker 1: white supremacy, and we will talk to you all tomorrow.

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Speaker 3: Bye bye,