Speaker 1: Nick. Yes, here's Nick. Hello here. I am sorry, came
Speaker 1: in hot. I forgot to press the recording for the
Speaker 1: the audio, but I got it just in time. Don't
Speaker 1: you worry. No, don't you freaking worry. Um, happy Monday. Okay, good, Yes,
Speaker 1: that's true. Um, Happy Monday. I have mine VISI line in.
Speaker 1: I just put in my fourth tray. They're a little
Speaker 1: tight um probably to put them in a little too soon.
Speaker 1: I gotta be wearing them more. That's why they're in today.
Speaker 1: So if I sound a little like little lispy and gummy,
Speaker 1: it's because of that. I'm just trying to trying to
Speaker 1: There's this gap in my tooth, so they had to
Speaker 1: they have to file in between your teeth to make
Speaker 1: room for them to like move together. So they made
Speaker 1: a gap in my teeth. And sometimes in pictures I
Speaker 1: am lie end up so you can see straight down
Speaker 1: the gap. It's a side gap. It's on the side
Speaker 1: of my tooth, and it looks like I just have
Speaker 1: a big piece of fucking basil or something. It's like
Speaker 1: a line in my two it's a very it's so
Speaker 1: thin that it and it's not where the gap usually is.
Speaker 1: A gap is usually in the middle right, but it
Speaker 1: just looks I like I have something in my teeth
Speaker 1: in certain pictures and trying to close that bitch up
Speaker 1: and get my life back. Um, do you tell friends
Speaker 1: when they have food in their teeth? Oh? Hell yes,
Speaker 1: I think that's a sign of like a true friendship. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what. Paris Hilton told me that too. Paris
Speaker 1: Hilton used to put on a shitty outfit when she
Speaker 1: was changing to get ready with her girlfriends. She put
Speaker 1: on like a really fuggy outfit, and then she would
Speaker 1: go out and be like, God, like, what do you
Speaker 1: guys think is this hot? And then they, if they
Speaker 1: were like yeah, I love it, she'd be like, you
Speaker 1: bitches lie to me, and you're not honest. She also
Speaker 1: like she leaves out things so that if she could
Speaker 1: if like or at least she used to. I think
Speaker 1: she used to, you know, before she started getting like
Speaker 1: recovery from her PTSD or as Andrews is at PTSD
Speaker 1: from um being in those awful schools that people kidnapped
Speaker 1: their kids and send them away to these Like if
Speaker 1: you didn't watch the Paris Hilton, I am Paris. She
Speaker 1: also helped enforce some like legislation in Utah. She's so
Speaker 1: I love her. She um she used to though. She
Speaker 1: used to leave her like stacks of money around to
Speaker 1: just test to see if people would steal and then
Speaker 1: she counted later or like she just leave things out
Speaker 1: to like seat to test people so if she could
Speaker 1: trust them, because she had trusted she used because her
Speaker 1: parents sucking hired some thugs to come kidnap her in
Speaker 1: the middle of the night and then they watched her
Speaker 1: get dragged off. I mean the trauma from that. So
Speaker 1: mad at Cathy Hilton about that. Oh Buzzy, I see Buzzy. Sorry,
Speaker 1: he's like playing with my background and I'm just worried
Speaker 1: that it's gonna I saw the curtain going crazy, like
Speaker 1: there was a bunch of crew back there. I mean,
Speaker 1: like we got the wrong monk um. I uh yeah,
Speaker 1: she's she's cool and um she she's been through a
Speaker 1: lot and um yeah, I just what was I saying about?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so she does that test. And then when
Speaker 1: I was filming Cooking with Paris, at one point she
Speaker 1: had something in her teeth and Whitney came in that
Speaker 1: night and was like, Paris, you have something in your teeth,
Speaker 1: and She looked at me like, you bitch, because she
Speaker 1: had just told me that's how she like tests people
Speaker 1: is to see if like they have something in there like,
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, I didn't see it. I don't.
Speaker 1: I think I look people in the eyes and not
Speaker 1: the mouth when I talk to them, um, which a
Speaker 1: lot of people do the opposite. And so I think
Speaker 1: some people see teeth stuff more than I look at
Speaker 1: someone's mouth when I want to make out with them. Um.
Speaker 1: But I think a lot of people look don't like
Speaker 1: to look like eye contact. And I'll let you know
Speaker 1: if you have a piece of parsley in your eye um,
Speaker 1: or like deep in your soul, because that's what I'm
Speaker 1: looking at because I'm you know, I'm not avoiding intimacy,
Speaker 1: except yes, I am constantly all the time. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: Buzzy is on your shoulder. Oh he is so cute
Speaker 1: him and I's a frisky little cat obvious away for
Speaker 1: like the next two weeks, so we have a lot
Speaker 1: of quality time to spund together. That's fun. Does Buzzy
Speaker 1: like you or a more? He lets AV hold him
Speaker 1: more and he's like biting me right now. But it's
Speaker 1: it's very playful. Um. Yeah, I don't know. I think
Speaker 1: he was social. Oh, he's so social. He likes to play,
Speaker 1: and he like wakes you up, and he like he
Speaker 1: wants interaction with you. Yeah, he um. He'll wake me
Speaker 1: up in the night, but he'll start purring and it's
Speaker 1: just so irresistible. You know. It's tell me the difference
Speaker 1: between a dog and a cat for you, because we
Speaker 1: had you had cats before. Never I always wanted to, okay,
Speaker 1: and you had you obviously had dogs before you had
Speaker 1: your own dog, Bruno, who you you know I didn't lose,
Speaker 1: but you know who died last year and who you
Speaker 1: had had forever. So I can't believe I haven't even
Speaker 1: asked you about this, Like, what's the should I get
Speaker 1: a should um dog? People be open to getting cats?
Speaker 1: Are you one or the other? What's the differences with
Speaker 1: the similarities. Let's talk about it. I have something in
Speaker 1: my throat, so I might start coughing, but it's okay,
Speaker 1: if you do, I'll I'll, I'll start talking. I think
Speaker 1: something went from my teeth in the back of my throat,
Speaker 1: but I didn't see it. Yeah, I'm sorry. I got
Speaker 1: lucky with this cat because he's so thought there was
Speaker 1: a dog you had. I got lucky when I was four. Sorry, okay,
Speaker 1: you got lucky with this cat. Yes, because he's a
Speaker 1: feral cat. My friend found him in a in a
Speaker 1: parking lot. He was an outside cat. And he's so
Speaker 1: um like social and friendly. The difference that I really
Speaker 1: like is that he's he can be so independent. But
Speaker 1: when I say, you know, like when I asked him
Speaker 1: to come or whatever, he like will act like a
Speaker 1: dog and he'll come to the room. I don't take
Speaker 1: him for a walks. He goes in his in his
Speaker 1: kitty litter. And I told you that I like cleaning
Speaker 1: the poop. It reminds me of like one of those
Speaker 1: like Zen gardens. I love those. Those were so like
Speaker 1: chic and in the nineties you were rich if you
Speaker 1: had one of those little ones. So you you okay,
Speaker 1: So you scoop the low maintenance, no walks, loving gives
Speaker 1: you attention, the independent, very funny, great sense of humor,
Speaker 1: great sarcasm. Why what's what's the what's the buzzies like?
Speaker 1: Vibe like a little like playing it cool smart? Smart?
Speaker 1: And like do you see buzzy like playing games like
Speaker 1: I used to? You know, my dog. Luigi literally will
Speaker 1: do this thing that is so funny and smart, where
Speaker 1: he if he sees the dog come ing and I
Speaker 1: don't see the dog because he has better hearing and
Speaker 1: than I do, obviously, and smell he smells a dog,
Speaker 1: wait on the block before I can see it. He
Speaker 1: will just pretend to sniff a flower because he knows
Speaker 1: I'll wait when he's sniffing, because I'm I honor his sniffs,
Speaker 1: so he'll just but he won't sniff. He'll just like
Speaker 1: put his nose by it, because to give the illusion
Speaker 1: that he's sniffing so that we can wait for the
Speaker 1: dog to come up. Is let's say the dogs walking
Speaker 1: the same way we are, and he knows if we
Speaker 1: keep walking, we'll get further, so he'll just pretend to sniff.
Speaker 1: That is smart and cute, so cute. Buzzy will do
Speaker 1: this thing where he'll hide behind a corner and as
Speaker 1: we walk by, he'll just like pounce our leg. He'll
Speaker 1: just go like this like, no, I love that. No nails.
Speaker 1: He'll just clapping. Yeah, it's it's almost clapping, but no
Speaker 1: nails involved, so you could tell that it's friendly. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, that's so cute. Yeah, I've been craving getting
Speaker 1: a pet or something. Um. Sometimes he was gonna get
Speaker 1: a bird for a while. Yeah, yeah, he'll trip like
Speaker 1: a bird. And then I was thinking, like, I wonder
Speaker 1: if we get like a parakeet, that's gonna be like,
Speaker 1: did you say a para key? I'm in a parakeet? Okay?
Speaker 1: I was like, did she I'm like a dog waiting
Speaker 1: by a flower until you say that tea. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: a parakeet. This whole thing of like dogs and cats.
Speaker 1: Like cats and dogs they don't get along birds and
Speaker 1: cats like obviously, yes, birds trigger whatever it is in
Speaker 1: a cat's brain that makes it want to fucking eat it.
Speaker 1: But there, you know, you know more than anyone that
Speaker 1: any kind of animal can get along with any other
Speaker 1: kind of animal, And it honestly always makes for a
Speaker 1: pretty cute Instagram account. Animals from different species being friends.
Speaker 1: It's fucking great. I was in UM Portland for two shows.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Buzz you can hear him. Oh crabs, Bunny,
Speaker 1: it's just don't worry about it. Um. I was in
Speaker 1: this week in San Francisco and Portland, Oregon. Amazing shows,
Speaker 1: so many besties that all of them met so many
Speaker 1: listeners of the show. Very moving. You all are so sweet.
Speaker 1: I always know I always recognize you right away when
Speaker 1: you come up, because you just have a sweetness to you.
Speaker 1: That UM is different than just the average stand up fan.
Speaker 1: And I can say that because the average standard fan
Speaker 1: isn't listening to this. And if you're listening to this,
Speaker 1: you're a bestie and you know. So I'm just preaching
Speaker 1: to the fucking choir here, but it's just true. There's
Speaker 1: like a different vibe and and Andrew and I always
Speaker 1: walk away from those meet and greats like, God, we're
Speaker 1: the best fucking fans. So it's really nice to meet everyone.
Speaker 1: And there was one guy that was like, there's one
Speaker 1: guy on the and he definitely won't see this because
Speaker 1: he doesn't he's not on the internet. He's like, the
Speaker 1: you know, bragging you're not on social media is the
Speaker 1: new I don't have a TV. You know, it's like, oh, whoa,
Speaker 1: you're so so much better than all of us. Oh
Speaker 1: do you communicate with your friends with books? But he
Speaker 1: was like, I don't have UM, I don't have social media.
Speaker 1: He kept saying, I wish I would have remembered how
Speaker 1: he said it was the kiss way in which he
Speaker 1: said it. But he ended me a business card that
Speaker 1: he made specifically for me and was like they hastily
Speaker 1: packed moving company or something, you know, because I used
Speaker 1: to say, my vagina looks like a hastily back suitcase.
Speaker 1: And then um, he told me and Andrew that he
Speaker 1: wanted us. He was like, I got to stay something
Speaker 1: to you and Andrew, and he gets Andrew to come
Speaker 1: over and he like, it's like, I just want you
Speaker 1: guys to know that I'll never think about my fifteen
Speaker 1: if oh my fifteen year old daughter has invisilion and
Speaker 1: now every time I see that in Brasiln, I'm going
Speaker 1: to think about how when she gives blow jobs, it's
Speaker 1: not gonna it's gonna like smooth out her teeth and
Speaker 1: then they won't be his toothiet And I don't even
Speaker 1: know why he brought Andrew into that, because that's my joke,
Speaker 1: but he wanted like Andrew to be there for it too,
Speaker 1: and he was trying to make us laugh. But it
Speaker 1: was obviously you know, I I just was like, oh God,
Speaker 1: that's I'm sorry to give you that visual image or
Speaker 1: what you know. I was just trying to be nice
Speaker 1: or whatever. And Andrew goes, Andrew was kind of annoyed
Speaker 1: by him immediately, and he goes, um, all right, well
Speaker 1: send us pictures. And there was this other guy in line,
Speaker 1: because this guy was already like at a very big
Speaker 1: vibe of and just kind of like walking in like
Speaker 1: I don't really want a picture. I'm not like all
Speaker 1: these losers who wanted pictures. He didn't say that, but
Speaker 1: he's like kind of has that air about him like, no, no,
Speaker 1: I don't want to picture, no, no, no, I just
Speaker 1: want to actually have a human interaction, you know, like
Speaker 1: that kind of thing. And uh he yeah, so and
Speaker 1: then the guy in line behind him laughed so hard
Speaker 1: at Andrew's joke of send a picture of your fifteen
Speaker 1: year old was so funny. Andrew was so funny this weekend.
Speaker 1: He was making me laugh so hard. In Portland on
Speaker 1: um Saturday night, we did two shows. You know, we
Speaker 1: had traveled all day. We had San Francisco the night before. Um.
Speaker 1: He when he gets sleepy, he gets so funny because
Speaker 1: he just stops like he already doesn't make sense a
Speaker 1: lot of times when he talks, but when there is
Speaker 1: truly zero filter between his brain and his mouth the
Speaker 1: funniest stuff comes out. What did he say that was
Speaker 1: so freaking oh, he goes, Oh my god, Wait what
Speaker 1: was that? We were talking about his asshole because his
Speaker 1: asshole was really hurting him this weekend, and I was
Speaker 1: laughing so hard I felt bad a meal and I
Speaker 1: were seriously about to like pass out from laughing because
Speaker 1: he was talking about one time he almost died, because
Speaker 1: I mean, I think he's told this on the Did
Speaker 1: he tell the story about when he got hungover in
Speaker 1: Florida and the heat in a car and passed out
Speaker 1: and he passed out like he drove. I don't know
Speaker 1: if he drove drunk, but he passed out in a
Speaker 1: car that was parked in front of a police station
Speaker 1: and so in the morning, and he attended windows so
Speaker 1: the policeman couldn't even see into his car. But he
Speaker 1: was passed out in this Florida sun. First of all,
Speaker 1: the twinted windows saved him, and the parking in front
Speaker 1: of a police station saved him. He almost suffocated in
Speaker 1: the car. He was almost dying because he was he
Speaker 1: did so the cop wrapped on his window and woke
Speaker 1: him up, and he almost died, like one of like
Speaker 1: a dog you leave in your car when you go
Speaker 1: into home depot, or like a kid that you forget
Speaker 1: is in the back seat, or that you'd say that
Speaker 1: you've forgotten the back seat because you really just want
Speaker 1: to start over in life. That that's what Andrew almost
Speaker 1: did to himself because he was hungover. He was so
Speaker 1: lazy upon being hungover that he couldn't just I go,
Speaker 1: you couldn't do this. I did the roll the window
Speaker 1: down motion. He goes, no, I couldn't do this, and
Speaker 1: he just pushes the button. So we were Andrew Meal
Speaker 1: and I were evingsored because he almost like hot car
Speaker 1: dogged himself, which is just an insane thing to do
Speaker 1: with yourself when you're able bodied person. Andrew has so
Speaker 1: many lives Likekenny, it's it's he should not be like,
Speaker 1: go it is a miracle that you are alive. He
Speaker 1: he was having asshole Paine though, and we were talking
Speaker 1: about I was like, I want to see your asshole
Speaker 1: so bad because it's it's he says, it's like a canyon.
Speaker 1: You know, He's drawn it for me, and it looks
Speaker 1: like someone drawing a star with their left hand, like
Speaker 1: it's just a mess, there's like jagged edges because he's
Speaker 1: had fissures and had it removed, like they cut out
Speaker 1: his asshole. And so he says, there's like just a
Speaker 1: an open or like it's just there's no it's just tragic.
Speaker 1: And he won't let Brenna see it, and she's constantly
Speaker 1: always trying to see it too, because she's just like,
Speaker 1: what isn't he? And he's never seen it because he
Speaker 1: doesn't want to see what it looks like. And he's
Speaker 1: scared that if I look at it, or Emil looks
Speaker 1: at it, that we will be so horrified that then
Speaker 1: he'll be scared that he's dying. And I don't want
Speaker 1: to obviously give him any anxiety about that, but I'm
Speaker 1: desperate to see it. And then Emil goes, if you've
Speaker 1: never seen it, then how can you draw it? And
Speaker 1: he what did he say? Fuck? That was the question
Speaker 1: that led to the funniest thing he has ever said,
Speaker 1: how do you? How do you not? He's he compared
Speaker 1: it to something so beautiful? That was so how does
Speaker 1: Stevie wonder play? I mean, if if I've ever i'm
Speaker 1: upset with Andrew, I only have to remember that Andrew's
Speaker 1: never seen his asshole yet he's able to draw it.
Speaker 1: And then when a Meal said, how have you drawn it?
Speaker 1: If you've never seen it, he goes, how does Stevie wonder?
Speaker 1: It's so funny? Oh my god, Noah, I've been playing
Speaker 1: so much guitar I just learned. I'm so excited to
Speaker 1: get my life back. After the special taped, I was
Speaker 1: able to pick up the guitar again and start like
Speaker 1: singing and sucking around on it. I'm so happy. I
Speaker 1: love it so much. I came home last night. I
Speaker 1: traveled all day yesterday. Um, I got to the airport
Speaker 1: right on time to check my bags and get through,
Speaker 1: and I get in line behind in the priority lane.
Speaker 1: You know, there's one person from me. It is a
Speaker 1: woman who has three kids, and she's making her husband.
Speaker 1: I posted on my Instagram story. She's just handing her
Speaker 1: husband her bags, being like it's over fifty and it's
Speaker 1: all her ship, and he's just sweetly going through it,
Speaker 1: and she keeps going it's still over fifty and I'm
Speaker 1: just like, this fucking bitch, And I'm almost getting obsessed
Speaker 1: with this family, just like filming them and watching them.
Speaker 1: And then pretty soon I looked down at my phone
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my god, it's forty minutes till
Speaker 1: my flight, Like I missed the cut off to check
Speaker 1: my bag. It's forty five minutes. And it's all because
Speaker 1: I was watching this woman be so slow because I
Speaker 1: thought I was. I had so much time, So it
Speaker 1: was my fault. It wasn't even her fault. It was
Speaker 1: my fault. But I was so mad at her at
Speaker 1: the moment because I couldn't see that. And then I
Speaker 1: missed my flight because you can't put bags on a
Speaker 1: flight you're not on. So I am. I stayed and waited,
Speaker 1: and it ended up being good. I traveled all day
Speaker 1: yesterday alone. Andrew traveled on the flight we're supposed to
Speaker 1: go on, and I went on a later one, and
Speaker 1: I was alone all day and it was weird being
Speaker 1: alone for the first time and so long. Um, I
Speaker 1: like just I don't know. I was listening to really
Speaker 1: sad music. I c I'd a lot, which I never cried,
Speaker 1: but I was like crying all day yesterday. I even
Speaker 1: was I was out of layover at DFW and I
Speaker 1: was texting something and it made me cry. And I
Speaker 1: was ordering at Starbucks and because they didn't have a
Speaker 1: mobile order at the you know, I'd wait in line
Speaker 1: like a pleab and the woman is taking my order
Speaker 1: and my eyes are watering because I'm wearing a mask
Speaker 1: and I'm just like can I and I don't want
Speaker 1: but all I wanted, really I don't. I didn't want
Speaker 1: her to see me crying. That is not I don't
Speaker 1: like being seen crying in public. I'm not trying to
Speaker 1: get attention. I know some people probably try to do that,
Speaker 1: and that's something wrong with you if you're trying to
Speaker 1: get attention. Um, but I didn't want to. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, I kind of do like I
Speaker 1: kind of want someone to go like I. And then
Speaker 1: I started to think if a stranger was like, hey,
Speaker 1: do you need a hug, I would have just like
Speaker 1: grabbed them so hard and like I needed a hug
Speaker 1: yesterday so bad. So I don't even know if it
Speaker 1: was good that I was alone, but I was just like,
Speaker 1: so it felt nice to know that that's what I needed, though,
Speaker 1: you know that that would have made me feel better
Speaker 1: because usually I'm like I got it, but noah, oh
Speaker 1: my god, this is what I wanted to talk to
Speaker 1: you about. Have you read Attached? Of course it's the best.
Speaker 1: It's crazy good. It's kind of blowing my mind. I
Speaker 1: just started reading it. It's always been the one that
Speaker 1: everyone's always suggested for me to read, including you, but
Speaker 1: like truly, it's the one that people talk about. And
Speaker 1: obviously it's it's based on the attachment style theory and
Speaker 1: whether you know, there's three attachment styles, but there's you
Speaker 1: can be mixed and it's like a secure, anxious, avoidant,
Speaker 1: and you can be mixtures of those things. But your
Speaker 1: goal is to be secure, and anxious people are attracted
Speaker 1: to avoided people, and avoided people are attracted to anxious people.
Speaker 1: And it's just a big fucking mess. Um. And it's
Speaker 1: all based on your relationship with your parents, your relationships
Speaker 1: with past lovers, your relationship with yourself, all those things.
Speaker 1: And I have secure. I've taken the quizzes over and
Speaker 1: over trying to get a diagnosis of anxious or avoidant,
Speaker 1: and I'm pretty secure. Honestly. Like my parents relationships, it's
Speaker 1: they were avoidant and um, but I I now am
Speaker 1: pretty secure, and I've taken it over and over and over,
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to even air on the side of
Speaker 1: like be your most vulnerable self, and I tend to
Speaker 1: be pretty secure, which doesn't check out for me though,
Speaker 1: because I think in a relationship I become I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm anxious. But that's when I'm with avoidant people.
Speaker 1: But now then I know that. I think it's all
Speaker 1: since I've stopped having you know, when I dealt with
Speaker 1: my eating disorder and and started like actually liking myself,
Speaker 1: which was at the root of all that. Um, I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't tolerate people who are avoided anymore. I won't
Speaker 1: tolerate it. I sometimes do for a little bit, but
Speaker 1: I instantly go, no, no, no, this isn't gonna work.
Speaker 1: If you're gonna do this, I'm out. And then they
Speaker 1: stop being they stopped being that, and then they do
Speaker 1: it again five days later, you know, Like, but I
Speaker 1: think I'm secure. I think I got but this is
Speaker 1: what I learned from the book that blew my mind.
Speaker 1: And and but which one are you? But by the way,
Speaker 1: are you avoided? No, you're anxious. I was anxious, attached.
Speaker 1: I think I'm like now anxious, uh uh hyphens secure, Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: I'll be anxious. I think I'm anxious. Secure, too, but um,
Speaker 1: I um, I read because I don't want to. I
Speaker 1: don't want to be alone. That is something I'm scared
Speaker 1: of being is alone and abandoned for sure. But when
Speaker 1: it asked about my parents, like are you worried there?
Speaker 1: You know, it's like are you it asked about your
Speaker 1: parents and do you ever take a quiz? And you
Speaker 1: just know, like, funk, this is gonna sunk up my results,
Speaker 1: Like because I'm not this like every I'm this way
Speaker 1: for all this and then this one thing. It's totally
Speaker 1: not that like my parents. No, I do not feel
Speaker 1: comfortable sharing my deepest feeling No, I am not. I
Speaker 1: know I don't share my deepest feelings. I don't feel
Speaker 1: like they can receive those with what I need for
Speaker 1: them to receive those with I I do like when
Speaker 1: I get anxious when I even start to reveal my
Speaker 1: feelings to them. Do I reveal my feelings to them? Yes,
Speaker 1: because I like at this point, I like force it.
Speaker 1: But um, when it asked like are you scared they'll
Speaker 1: abandon you? Like that's never been a fear with my parents,
Speaker 1: which I'm very lucky in that, Like I just don't
Speaker 1: feel but I have had boyfriends over and over who
Speaker 1: I feel at the drop of a hat will just
Speaker 1: drop me at like a hat. Okay, So all of
Speaker 1: the work that I do on myself always stems back
Speaker 1: to if you don't love yourself, others can't love you.
Speaker 1: Like you have to be a whole person before you can. Really,
Speaker 1: the goal is to be whole. The goal is to
Speaker 1: be a whole. That's always been my goal. But the
Speaker 1: goal is to be enough that like my um my,
Speaker 1: maya doctor not doctor abuse if used to tell me
Speaker 1: that the perfect relationship is one that you can live
Speaker 1: with the person or you could live without them and
Speaker 1: you'd find either way, like, you're not codependent, right. Codependency
Speaker 1: is this like kind of um you know, it's this
Speaker 1: buzzword that is this whole sect of psychology that has
Speaker 1: made people go, oh my god, if I if I
Speaker 1: need a man, or if I need my partner, then
Speaker 1: I'm weak and I'm not enough and that's a bad thing.
Speaker 1: But Attached tells you that it's not bad to need
Speaker 1: a person, and that this idea of another person completing
Speaker 1: you are making you more whole or a better version
Speaker 1: of yourself, is actually scientifically proven that they've didn't done
Speaker 1: studies where someone's about to receive an electric shock and
Speaker 1: if they get to hold a stranger's hand, their blood
Speaker 1: pressure goes down. If they're alone, they're blood pressure is
Speaker 1: a certain level. It's pretty high. They are about to
Speaker 1: receive a shock that they are told it's going to hurt.
Speaker 1: If they hold a stranger's hand, they're their blood pressure
Speaker 1: goes down slightly. If they hold their husband's hand or
Speaker 1: wife's hand, it drops way dramatically. So what it tells
Speaker 1: you is that you're able to withstand pain and discomfort
Speaker 1: if you have a partner. Then they did the other
Speaker 1: studies where a little baby girl is in a room
Speaker 1: full of toys and she's playing with toys and her
Speaker 1: mom is there and she's exploring, and she keeps walking
Speaker 1: around and looking at the toy and then looking back
Speaker 1: at the mom. We all know the little girl that
Speaker 1: does that. Little babies that they look at their parents
Speaker 1: were like, is this okay? Look at this? And then
Speaker 1: the mom leaves the room and the baby starts howling.
Speaker 1: Another woman comes in, a stranger woman, and who's very nice,
Speaker 1: and the baby is just still screaming. And then the
Speaker 1: mother comes back in and the baby just hugs her
Speaker 1: and holds her tight, and then the baby slowly like
Speaker 1: make sure she's gonna stay, and then goes back to playing,
Speaker 1: which tells us that humans need loved ones to feel
Speaker 1: brave enough to do things that they want to do anyway,
Speaker 1: the things that are going to make them feel good
Speaker 1: and be happier people. So this whole idea of like,
Speaker 1: I've got it, I don't need a man, I don't
Speaker 1: want to partner a romantic partners, just just like you know,
Speaker 1: the share quote of men are a dessert, like you
Speaker 1: don't need them, but they're nice to have. I actually
Speaker 1: think I need them. I might need a romantic partner,
Speaker 1: and there's nothing wrong with saying that or or demanding that.
Speaker 1: And I need you know, there's this great example in
Speaker 1: the book, and I've only read the first third of it,
Speaker 1: and you guys know, I'm not going to go past that,
Speaker 1: but I got it right spouting this off like I
Speaker 1: fucking wrote it. But it's just amazing. Um anecdote in
Speaker 1: the book about this couple that was on the Amazing
Speaker 1: Race and the whole time, this couple who you know,
Speaker 1: were like a great couple that had been together a
Speaker 1: while the woman just wanted the guy to hold her
Speaker 1: hand during the race, literally, and he didn't want to
Speaker 1: do it. And at one point, the guy has a
Speaker 1: bunch of like fear of bungee jumping and they're in
Speaker 1: the lead, and because he has fear of bungee jumping
Speaker 1: and he's second guessing it, they lose their lead. And
Speaker 1: then they they lose and they go to the woman
Speaker 1: at the end and she's like, I shouldn't have been
Speaker 1: so needy that made him like not feel like I
Speaker 1: don't know why I needed that, Like it just is
Speaker 1: so death spurit of me, and like that was such
Speaker 1: a bad look, Like I need to just like understand
Speaker 1: that he doesn't want to do that. And it's just
Speaker 1: like when the woman that wrote book goes, if he
Speaker 1: would have just held her hand, she would have felt
Speaker 1: more secure. He would have gotten her to be able
Speaker 1: to reciprocate that same thing that he gave to her
Speaker 1: in the moment of the bungee when he was when
Speaker 1: he needed her and the bungee jumping in is it.
Speaker 1: She would have been more able to give him that
Speaker 1: care and support that would have made him able to
Speaker 1: overcome that fear quicker than if he rejected her hand
Speaker 1: the whole time and made her then not really want
Speaker 1: to be able to be there for him in the
Speaker 1: same way because fuck you, you didn't hold my hand
Speaker 1: and said this. You know, I think women just have
Speaker 1: this constant or at least I do, uh monologue of
Speaker 1: like in my head of I don't need like you
Speaker 1: shouldn't need someone to complete you. Yes, it's fun, Yes
Speaker 1: it's good, but that whole Jerry McGuire you complete me
Speaker 1: has always been like that's unhealthy. And it's just interesting
Speaker 1: that this book kind of turns codependency and everything I've
Speaker 1: learned in like you know, the twelve step pro ams
Speaker 1: of like you're enough, other people can't affect your feelings.
Speaker 1: It's like, yes they can, and that's okay if they do.
Speaker 1: That kind of blew my mind. And you've known it
Speaker 1: all along, No what you've known it all along. I'm
Speaker 1: looking forward to having more of these conversations with you,
Speaker 1: and I really think you should read, like make this
Speaker 1: the one book that you finished. No, I'm going I
Speaker 1: was joking, I really am gonna keep reading this one
Speaker 1: because it already is. You know, I always think I
Speaker 1: know what's it's going to be in it because I've
Speaker 1: heard my friends talk about this book so much, but
Speaker 1: I've already learned so much. And I sent pages to
Speaker 1: Andrew yesterday when we're traveling, so he knows all about this.
Speaker 1: Let's get him in your Handrew. Hey, Andrew, I was
Speaker 1: just saying that the your Stevie Wonder of Assholes that
Speaker 1: was between us, and it was so funny. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's the funniest thing you've ever said. And you've said
Speaker 1: some fucking funny things, but man, that was good. Oh man,
Speaker 1: a fun weekend. Whenever you're tired, you just don't. You
Speaker 1: just say the funniest stuff when your defenses are down.
Speaker 1: I love when men just like are just like then,
Speaker 1: they just get like jelly. They just say weird stuff.
Speaker 1: I gotta stop drinking coffee. I think, what do you mean,
Speaker 1: just stay tired all year round? Yeah? It was so good.
Speaker 1: Um maybe um, are those the same ones that you
Speaker 1: got poop onto? No, these are the same brand. There
Speaker 1: Larry David's m I copy Larry David's style usually I
Speaker 1: wait for someone to die. He is older. I'm not
Speaker 1: getting in early. I just really appreciate his style. It's
Speaker 1: very clean, it's laid back. I think, you know, that's
Speaker 1: who I admire. So I buy his shoes, and I
Speaker 1: bought shoes this weekend. Did you tell them about the
Speaker 1: human ship? So I bought Echo shoes. I was very
Speaker 1: excited about him. I was wearing him for the first
Speaker 1: time on stage. As you know, I like to subtly
Speaker 1: bring attention to my sell through new things and tell
Speaker 1: you how great they are. And I was in the
Speaker 1: green room and I was like, look, hey, like these shoes,
Speaker 1: these Larry David's yeah, yeah, he points them out. He
Speaker 1: goes look at my shoes and he puts them up
Speaker 1: on the couch and he's showing us like they're brand new.
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, there's a smell. There's
Speaker 1: a ship. I smell, smell ship. And sure enough I
Speaker 1: look on the bottom of my shoe and Larry David ship.
Speaker 1: I stepped in. Larry David ship, I think, And yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of ship on my shoe that he
Speaker 1: got on the couch when he put us feet up
Speaker 1: on the couch to show us the shoes. How do
Speaker 1: you know it's human? You can tell. After living in
Speaker 1: New York ten years, I could tell anything. I could
Speaker 1: tell you what kind of ethnicity of the food they ate? Yea,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, human ship, dogshit in the city. Why
Speaker 1: we are so much more gross out by human ship
Speaker 1: than dog shit? Because if we're talking about food, human
Speaker 1: food is good. Dog food is so gross Yet dog poop?
Speaker 1: Do you know what I'm saying? Like, why don't we
Speaker 1: get grostered out by dogop? I just made up word more.
Speaker 1: I think that for me, I think what probably happens
Speaker 1: is it's connected with pride disease, So I think I
Speaker 1: could get a disease from It's like if I was
Speaker 1: bit by an animal as opposed to a human, I'd
Speaker 1: be more scared about getting bit by the human because
Speaker 1: they could give you hepatitis or whatever. So you feel
Speaker 1: like you could you're more connected to me. I know
Speaker 1: what I'm just saying, But yeah, you're biologically it's probably yes,
Speaker 1: there's more chance of disease in this uh. And I
Speaker 1: think we've had less exposure to human ship then, I
Speaker 1: mean our own. Yeah, you've tasted your own or millions
Speaker 1: of dogshits. I've picked up not one other person's dogshit
Speaker 1: or human ship. I mean if you're a parent, though,
Speaker 1: you get really into it. That's a good point baby ship,
Speaker 1: But baby Ship doesn't. Sometimes it stinks so bad. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. Yeah, you don't care at all. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: if I had to pick up someone else's baby, even
Speaker 1: if yeah, and it was gross. Yeah I used to
Speaker 1: baby ship, did they. Yeah, you just get a little ship.
Speaker 1: That's a good point. I never thought of that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you should get paid extra. You should. That should be
Speaker 1: a certain up charge each diaper you have to change.
Speaker 1: Should should be. If I was a babysitter, I would
Speaker 1: say that's like, yeah, it is a little weird to
Speaker 1: like get in there and have to like get in there,
Speaker 1: but you just treat it like your own, just like
Speaker 1: Amy has a really funny joke about wiping her nieces
Speaker 1: vagina and just being like I forget what she says,
Speaker 1: but how it's just like just don't think about it.
Speaker 1: Like just I remember when I had to um. There
Speaker 1: was this thing when Not Safe that we did the
Speaker 1: show I had in Coming Central, where we made guys
Speaker 1: dick picks like better we get a little models on
Speaker 1: their penises, like these big dioramas and they had a
Speaker 1: little hole in the diorama, and then we would put
Speaker 1: the diorama on their belly, and like they put their
Speaker 1: dick through it, and then dick would be like in
Speaker 1: the White House, or it'd be like taking a bath,
Speaker 1: or would be like riding a bike in Paris with
Speaker 1: a little bag at. I wanted the dick to be
Speaker 1: the bag at in the bag of the man riding
Speaker 1: the bike. Long story so anyway, I think I's sorry
Speaker 1: if I've told this before, But the day before the shoot,
Speaker 1: they realized that these big, you know models that they
Speaker 1: had made the dioramas, were too big for the men
Speaker 1: to actually reach around the model and then place their
Speaker 1: penis and position it in the bathtub with the cucumbers
Speaker 1: on size, so that someone else would have to handle
Speaker 1: these penises and pull them through the hole and put
Speaker 1: them next to the locker, like asking the girl to
Speaker 1: prom one had a backpack on. I don't know what
Speaker 1: we were thinking. So everyone was like, we're not doing it.
Speaker 1: The our department was like, that's not our job, and
Speaker 1: I immediately was like, no, it is not. I've I've
Speaker 1: done this, this is my problem. I'll do it. I
Speaker 1: didn't want to do it, but I put on gloves
Speaker 1: and I had to pick up these limp penises and
Speaker 1: and hold them and like position them. Penises all day,
Speaker 1: many penises, and this is I do not touch penis.
Speaker 1: Like that's not something I've done in my life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: especially a flaccid a man's flaccid penis, not like you know,
Speaker 1: little boys when you're wiping them when you're a babysitter.
Speaker 1: I've done that before, but I had never handled a
Speaker 1: man's penis. And even to this point, like you know,
Speaker 1: this was years ago, I wasn't like, actually, you know
Speaker 1: you have to shoot these guys in email saying look
Speaker 1: before you come in. Just know that they knew. They
Speaker 1: they knew that put out a chryslist ad of like
Speaker 1: do you want your penis featured on this contret Central show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but they didn't know that their penis was going to
Speaker 1: have to be touched by the host. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: it's a bad thing. I'm just saying they were definitely
Speaker 1: told the idea of an like a very professional email
Speaker 1: like NICKI Glazer will have to pull on your flash.
Speaker 1: So how did it feel to have a flaccid random cock?
Speaker 1: I just what I said. I was like, I'm a doctor,
Speaker 1: I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor. Like
Speaker 1: just treat I'm a doctor, and so I kept saying,
Speaker 1: I'm a doctor, I'm a doctor, I'm a doctor, I'm
Speaker 1: a doctor. I'm a doctor. The whole time I was
Speaker 1: doing it and does that work? And then I surgically
Speaker 1: removed it. Um no, it did. It did work because
Speaker 1: I had to like disconnect from it being a sexual
Speaker 1: thing the same way, like I was reading the subreddit
Speaker 1: about it is impressive you gave yourself doctor not nurse,
Speaker 1: like you went through all the school and thank you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love taking on a a I'm a nineteen year
Speaker 1: I'm a senior doctor at like like like I've won
Speaker 1: many awards. I'm a prostituted on prestrest. I'm a nursing home.
Speaker 1: You know what it would aid, I'm a nursing I'm
Speaker 1: a random woman grabbing. Um, so I uh, what was
Speaker 1: I gonna say? Oh? Yeah, I was reading in the
Speaker 1: subreddit about doctor. You know surgeons and how they are.
Speaker 1: So you ever watch a surgery, they're like they're really
Speaker 1: like they like knock. There was this guy that, oh
Speaker 1: I remember the reddit. It had a guy that had
Speaker 1: like a fucking arrow through his face and they were
Speaker 1: was like a sledgehammer to knock it through and pull
Speaker 1: it through because they had spikes on the other end
Speaker 1: if they tried to rip it out the other way,
Speaker 1: so they had to pull it push it through. And
Speaker 1: they're like bran bran brank, and it was so rough
Speaker 1: and everyone's like, god, why are they so rough? And
Speaker 1: they go do you ever watch a surgery video? They're
Speaker 1: like they're there. I remember always watching Um I never
Speaker 1: wanted to get liposuction because whenever they would show it,
Speaker 1: they would be like and it would like be stretching
Speaker 1: out the woman's skin, and I'm like, that's the opposite
Speaker 1: of what this woman wants, is her skin stretched out.
Speaker 1: And they're like and like boom jobs. They have to
Speaker 1: like open up, like they cut a thing around your
Speaker 1: nipple and then they like stretch that hole open so
Speaker 1: they can put in the thing. I'm just like they're
Speaker 1: so rough. I know, my dad, you have to do
Speaker 1: bone marrows transplants or whatever when you're a cancer doctor,
Speaker 1: and you have to like go through the bone. So
Speaker 1: they're just like you literally there's like an object and
Speaker 1: there's like they have to break through it. Like the
Speaker 1: human body. I mean, we're made to like be kind
Speaker 1: of not indestructed. But like, yeah, yeah, so what did
Speaker 1: you deem from that? So like then that I don't
Speaker 1: want that that you to be a surgeon, you have
Speaker 1: to be kind of sociopathic. You have to kind of
Speaker 1: um not they That's what people are saying in the
Speaker 1: comments was that surgeons are often, you know, on the
Speaker 1: spectrum of sociopathy, they're a little bit higher than the
Speaker 1: rest of us because they can't have feelings about what
Speaker 1: they're doing because you're just cutting open. You know. It's
Speaker 1: like serial killers do that too. You know, they can
Speaker 1: dismember people and not feel anything. I'm not feeling they're dead,
Speaker 1: doing into a live bodies even cree times they're dead.
Speaker 1: I mean, you don't read the things I do. God,
Speaker 1: I don't know why you read those before you go
Speaker 1: to bed. I don't know, because I just there's some
Speaker 1: part of me now that I'm like, oh, it's not
Speaker 1: gonna happen to me, Like I've aged out of being
Speaker 1: like the kind of girl that will be kidnapped and
Speaker 1: murder or something. I don't know what it is. I
Speaker 1: don't go running at night anymore. I don't go like, um,
Speaker 1: I don't meet people for things on cragslist. I do
Speaker 1: know that I could be murdered, you know, even last night,
Speaker 1: coming back late, going to the in our parking garage,
Speaker 1: I was like, feeling safe in our parking garage because
Speaker 1: we have you know, you have to have a key
Speaker 1: to enter it. But someone could creep in there very easy.
Speaker 1: I mean, it would be fine, and you can fucking
Speaker 1: strangle me. And I was listening to Taylor Swift ten
Speaker 1: minute all too well, and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: it'd be so weird if I got strangled and my
Speaker 1: ear buds were in and I died listening to Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1: I had that thought, isn't that fun? Yeah, it's an
Speaker 1: interesting thought, considering like you could probably be strangled nineteen
Speaker 1: different times there in that song so long, Like it's like,
Speaker 1: can you strangle me towards like a nine minute seconds
Speaker 1: at least here the end. I just wouldn't want to
Speaker 1: get to the new ending because that's my favorite party.
Speaker 1: Oh well that ends. That would be a good part
Speaker 1: to my favorite part is And I was never good
Speaker 1: at telling jokes, but punchine goes, I'll get older, butcher
Speaker 1: lovers stay my eight um. I came home instantly last
Speaker 1: night because I'm I'm learning how to play that song
Speaker 1: and do all the different strumming patterns that she does
Speaker 1: and all of the stuff. And I got I got
Speaker 1: through it all last night, and I taught myself that.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. But Jesus Christ, I can't hold a
Speaker 1: pick for the fucking life of me. It's still I
Speaker 1: don't know. I just don't want to. It does not
Speaker 1: sound good. No, I just can't get a good grip
Speaker 1: on it. And it doesn't feel like it's strumming the
Speaker 1: strings efficiently, and it just does. It's not a thing
Speaker 1: that plagues any other guitarists. It's actually my wrong pick.
Speaker 1: You know. I have used a million different picks. I've
Speaker 1: used different grips on picks. I've studied every YouTube video
Speaker 1: about teaching about how to hold a pick. Supposed to
Speaker 1: hold it with your thumb and your pointer finger, and
Speaker 1: your pointer finger is supposed to go kind of like
Speaker 1: point out of your thumb like a right angle. And
Speaker 1: I cannot hold it that way. I want to hold
Speaker 1: it my pointer finger and my middle No does that.
Speaker 1: Maybe You're fingers are just too skinny. I don't know,
Speaker 1: they're not. I do have a weird kind of like
Speaker 1: bent first finger, so maybe that has something to do
Speaker 1: with it. Well, what does two fingers? Does that mean?
Speaker 1: Then you're putting pressure, so you're not going to get it.
Speaker 1: There's just an efficient way to play, and that ain't it. Like,
Speaker 1: I just know that it's it's not a mental block.
Speaker 1: But I do hold my pencil a very weird way,
Speaker 1: and it has never held me back from writing. I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean you've I'm sure you've tried the other way
Speaker 1: or tried to try. I try it in the middle
Speaker 1: of it and then it flicks out of my hand,
Speaker 1: or I try to sometimes I'm like, oh, I should
Speaker 1: superglue it and see if it appen, if it can stay,
Speaker 1: So I might do that. I literally might superglue it
Speaker 1: to my finger. If anyone out there has suggestions for
Speaker 1: me on how to hold a pick and has ever
Speaker 1: struggled with it, don't don't write me, actually, because I
Speaker 1: know you're going to write me the things I've already read.
Speaker 1: Unless you have a true breakthrough method, or you just
Speaker 1: hold the pick in a different way and you're gonna
Speaker 1: make me feel better about holding it this way. Don't
Speaker 1: write me because I just I don't know what to do?
Speaker 1: What um? Well, I was gonna say, does it slide out?
Speaker 1: Does it? Yeah? It does? But it's not because it's
Speaker 1: like sweaty or something. It's because the grip is weird
Speaker 1: and I just don't like the way it hits the strings.
Speaker 1: It sounds bad to me to grow out your fingernails.
Speaker 1: Can I give you a suggestion of what you might
Speaker 1: be able to do? So you know how you when
Speaker 1: you hold the pick and the point is the thing
Speaker 1: that hits the strings, if you turn it around and
Speaker 1: use the curved part, see if that makes it sound better. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: So it often just turns during the whole time I'm
Speaker 1: playing a song. It will just spin in my finger.
Speaker 1: So maybe you're strumming too hard. I'm not strumming hard
Speaker 1: enough sometimes, Like you gotta keep strumming. It'll it'll correct itself.
Speaker 1: Just keep strumming. It's been a year and it has
Speaker 1: not improved. Everything else in my game has improved except
Speaker 1: that it is. It's just so weird. It's like my
Speaker 1: inability to understand football, Like it just won't stick. It's
Speaker 1: this thing that everyone else that plays guitar doesn't seem
Speaker 1: to struggle with. And it bothers me. Someone the other
Speaker 1: day was talking about how do you play an A?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, how
Speaker 1: do you get all your fingers to fit? I'm like,
Speaker 1: an A is the easiest chord you could ever play.
Speaker 1: And there's a whole discussion about Yeah. I struggled with
Speaker 1: it too, and I'm like, an A, it's just the
Speaker 1: three stings. Some people do it with one finger. That's
Speaker 1: how I play it. Yeah. And then do you the
Speaker 1: high string, the bottom string, or the top string? I
Speaker 1: mean you know? Yeah? Yeah, No, no, I just I
Speaker 1: mute the three strings with my one finger. No, no,
Speaker 1: you play those? You press those? Yeah? I pressed up.
Speaker 1: What about the one that's underneath. I just don't hit it.
Speaker 1: Oh OK, maybe I have chubby enough little hands, But
Speaker 1: I think you do want that one to ring out
Speaker 1: clear for a perfect A sound? Correct? No? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean modified. It's not perfect. But you know what is
Speaker 1: Emily Radischowski. You find I can find faults in her really? Yeah?
Speaker 1: No physically oh wow, our stomach. You're not into that.
Speaker 1: I could tell you what I'm sure other people have
Speaker 1: pointed out, but I don't mind it. Her belly button
Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the fact that you know
Speaker 1: it though. I mean, that's the well, when there's only
Speaker 1: one flaw, it doesn't bother me. When I've been the
Speaker 1: skinniest I've been, your stomach has it's so taught being pulled,
Speaker 1: so taught that your your belly button starts, you know,
Speaker 1: like okay, so take your belly button right now, if
Speaker 1: you push it, if you push the skin, it starts
Speaker 1: to come out. Yeah. So when you get skinny, it
Speaker 1: starts to come out and be trude. And I think
Speaker 1: that's why, because she's just so thin naturally. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I just think she was born like some people when
Speaker 1: they get their biblical cord cut off, they just cut off.
Speaker 1: It's just a bigger circle. Look, I'm picking out the one.
Speaker 1: Like I think people can handle it, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Like, I think my belly button is the
Speaker 1: only thing that isn't bad about. Let me see yours.
Speaker 1: You can't even see it. Oh yeah, that's good, that's
Speaker 1: good one. I mean, do you prefer in any or anality?
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the thing I have. Like I can
Speaker 1: push my belly button and I feel it on my penis. Ah,
Speaker 1: it is weird when you push, you feel anything in
Speaker 1: your vagina, it goes like one on yeah yeah, but
Speaker 1: not like that Jesus crying. But they're gonna hurt people's ears.
Speaker 1: Come on out. Think of for friends, okay, my tip
Speaker 1: of my penis, though I really can't feel it on
Speaker 1: their first Oh man, I hope you guys had a
Speaker 1: great weekend out there, had all the swells. It's Monday,
Speaker 1: you know what that means. It's Monday. We had a
Speaker 1: great weekend in uh in San fran and Portland's and
Speaker 1: next weekend we will be finishing the tour in outside
Speaker 1: Philadelphia and Richmond, Virginia. Yeah. I'm going to a Taylor
Speaker 1: Swift listening, like a Taylor Swift party um in Philadelphia
Speaker 1: on Friday. I'm so freaking or maybe it's on Saturday.
Speaker 1: I'm so freaking excited. There's one in St. Louis on
Speaker 1: Friday that I'm missing, but they're happening all over the
Speaker 1: place now. It's so great, just a bunch of Swift
Speaker 1: ease go and sing and dance to her songs. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've never been so excited for something in my life.
Speaker 1: The company, and that's not true, the company for for
Speaker 1: the companying the company formerly known as Facebook Meta. Wait
Speaker 1: wait Facebook changed its name inc. Yeah, wait the company itself,
Speaker 1: so Facebook is still Facebook. It's like the you say,
Speaker 1: I'm on Facebook, right, but the company that phones Facebook
Speaker 1: is now Meta. I saw this in the news and
Speaker 1: I didn't pay attention to it. I just saw a
Speaker 1: bunch of meta stuff and I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: care what the word meta. I don't know why, just
Speaker 1: like it just gives me something. Asked users to send
Speaker 1: nudes in order to prevent them from being used as
Speaker 1: revenge born on Facebook or Instagram. So people, they're asking
Speaker 1: people to send in, uh, their nudes as well as
Speaker 1: them fucking so then the computer can recognize their body.
Speaker 1: So then if someone randomly tries to share it, it
Speaker 1: will get shut down because the computer will recognize that
Speaker 1: the computer is gonna keep it safe and protect you
Speaker 1: from having it shared elsewhere. And by computer we mean
Speaker 1: a guy named Jeff. Who are people doing this? I
Speaker 1: mean you gotta trust I mean, we don't even try
Speaker 1: to Facebook with Russian intelligence. You're gonna send them your pussy?
Speaker 1: I don't know. That's insane. So they just want I
Speaker 1: mean they pretty much already have all that stuff. If
Speaker 1: you know the cloud you keep, if you keep any
Speaker 1: I mean it's wild. It's wild to think like we're
Speaker 1: getting ahead of someone else releasing your nudes. But there are.
Speaker 1: I mean, we live in an age where sending a
Speaker 1: dick pick or sending tits is like second nature. Now,
Speaker 1: it's just the way it's done. I cannot believe how
Speaker 1: many pictures of tits and asses that the guy I
Speaker 1: am seeing has received from women before he even meets
Speaker 1: up with them. Yeah. Girls, I don't what is going
Speaker 1: on here. I mean, it's like, yeah, I love sending
Speaker 1: that stuff, but I send it to guys that deserve it,
Speaker 1: you know, and if they've sent stuff before. To one guy, remember,
Speaker 1: he was wanting me to send him things because he
Speaker 1: kept sending me stuff. And I was like, okay, and
Speaker 1: I sent him an old picture that I sent to
Speaker 1: someone else, and I said, this is this was not
Speaker 1: taken for you, by the way. I wanted him to know, like,
Speaker 1: don't think that I just took this. This is what
Speaker 1: I'm capable of, but this wasn't for you because you
Speaker 1: don't deserve it yet. And this is how n f
Speaker 1: t s were creative. Don't give them things you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like the original guy got the n
Speaker 1: F T like that's so funny. Yeah, he got the
Speaker 1: Van Gogh where it's like just nice titties. Um. I
Speaker 1: don't understand why women do this so fast. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: when I was single, you would they lead with tits
Speaker 1: that because though don't you get a bunch of dick
Speaker 1: pics in your d M S Nikki? Um, yeah, I
Speaker 1: would never entertain dating those men. And those guys just
Speaker 1: send their dicks around two but they want to just fuck.
Speaker 1: I think these girls want boyfriends ultimately, maybe some of
Speaker 1: them just want to funk, But I think, why don't
Speaker 1: I just wouldn't. I don't think. I think girls sometimes
Speaker 1: do things to get guys to like them, and it
Speaker 1: actually does the opposite. It'll get their attention in the
Speaker 1: short term, but ultimately that guy is going to think
Speaker 1: you're sending those to everyone if you just send them
Speaker 1: so fast to him and bang you. But I don't
Speaker 1: think he's gonna want to marry not maybe you don't
Speaker 1: want to be married though I don't want to, you know,
Speaker 1: and insinuate that every woman wants a relationship. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think I think it's just kind of like sport fucking
Speaker 1: At that point, well I would just go post it
Speaker 1: on fucking um Reddit and blur your face and get
Speaker 1: so many much attention. If you just want attention from
Speaker 1: guys to say you're hot and stuff and take pictures,
Speaker 1: I get that, Yeah, but I think it's quantity over quality.
Speaker 1: At that point, you're picking the person that you want
Speaker 1: the attention from because you like them. You know these
Speaker 1: girls are sending it, well that's well, that's a different thing.
Speaker 1: They're sending it on dating apps. I think that yeah,
Speaker 1: like when they start, you know, when you go from
Speaker 1: dating app texting. But I guess people are just horny
Speaker 1: out there and if you look good and you've got
Speaker 1: the pictures and it's going to get a guy to
Speaker 1: want to fuck you, why not. Well that's the thing
Speaker 1: is like you get all these tits and dick sent
Speaker 1: to you, and then you're like, well, as a guy,
Speaker 1: and see the differences. I think as a guy, then
Speaker 1: we're like almost like a girl. It's like you're like,
Speaker 1: I don't want like but you know, but then what
Speaker 1: will happen is is then you go, oh, let's send
Speaker 1: pictures back and forthing like what you creep. It's like wait,
Speaker 1: I just got forty tis and now we don't want
Speaker 1: to send tits And I'm sure, what do you mean? Like,
Speaker 1: if you're a guy in your celebrity at all, you
Speaker 1: get a ton of tits setting your right and so
Speaker 1: then you say it to a girl that isn't quite
Speaker 1: into that, and she's like, what the fuck that's what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. It's like, I I don't. I feel like
Speaker 1: maybe I'm getting defensive. I tend to do this when
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not someone when I don't do it, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want to have to do that
Speaker 1: because I don't want to have to do that. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to because you are like saying it like
Speaker 1: someone's like, I mean they have and I won't do it.
Speaker 1: Like the most I've done is like I opened my
Speaker 1: mouth and I'm like, i'll do that. I'll be like,
Speaker 1: why is that? Because a guy will be like jerking off.
Speaker 1: A guy's jerking off and he's telling me about it
Speaker 1: for via text, and I'm he's like, just send me
Speaker 1: a picture and I'm like, no, no, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to send you a tit or something. And so I
Speaker 1: just I'm like I point on my face for him,
Speaker 1: and yeah, it's it's very hot, but it's not gonna
Speaker 1: be anything that it can be used against me. You know.
Speaker 1: I like that years. It's just like you send a
Speaker 1: quirky face, right, I'm like boarding a plane. I'm like,
Speaker 1: it was literally on the arm, you freaking sending nudes backstage.
Speaker 1: It's not even backstage. This is like next to the stage,
Speaker 1: next to the stage, on the steps. Yeah, I was.
Speaker 1: I just took got a nipple. It wasn't like a
Speaker 1: knew way could cover it up. Even if you walked,
Speaker 1: it would be so fast you wouldn't. I just saw you.
Speaker 1: I was like, it's not a tip. No you didn't.
Speaker 1: I did it in a way that you could not
Speaker 1: have You would not have seen anything. A report shows
Speaker 1: that the Toyota Prius Hybrid is a magnet for thieves,
Speaker 1: especially the oh four to oh nine models. There's a
Speaker 1: thing called the cattle cat converter. Do you know that? Wow?
Speaker 1: Because that's what steal more than anything. Yeah, do you
Speaker 1: not know that? No one knows that. Yes, they do.
Speaker 1: Catalytic converter. You say it like you know other parts
Speaker 1: of the engine. Name another thing in an engine, the carburetor, Okay,
Speaker 1: keep going. I wanted to working the long nuts. Okay,
Speaker 1: um the filter, the um suspension bridge, that's that's actually
Speaker 1: that's a structure. Keep going, the access terminal drive, I
Speaker 1: don't know. That's all I am out. Okay. So, so
Speaker 1: the Cadillac converter catalytic catalytic converter is an essential part
Speaker 1: of the exhaust system. It can go for a thousand
Speaker 1: dollars when so they sell it to scrap like so
Speaker 1: like these one stolen off his car. And that's why
Speaker 1: you don't leave your car in a parking lot like overnight,
Speaker 1: because they go and they just take them all. And
Speaker 1: there's certain models of cars that they just like love
Speaker 1: to take those, and your car can drive it will
Speaker 1: just be really really loud. It was so funny. I
Speaker 1: went to go to take my mom's car and for
Speaker 1: um uh an inspection, you know, like to get the
Speaker 1: fucking what is it the environment on board with your
Speaker 1: car so you can get the plates nude. And I
Speaker 1: went in and I got an oil change too. I go,
Speaker 1: if I need an oil change, will you just throw
Speaker 1: one into and he was like sure, So he checked
Speaker 1: it and he called me and he goes, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: you uh, you're a low two quarts of oil. So
Speaker 1: I tupped it off and up looks like your gaskets
Speaker 1: you got, I might need to replace the gaskets for
Speaker 1: the thing. And I go. He goes, so I'll have
Speaker 1: a price quote for you when you couldn't pick it up.
Speaker 1: So I tell my mom and she goes, you don't
Speaker 1: get those, and I go, I'll do it if I
Speaker 1: if it needs it, you know, And so I go
Speaker 1: and he's like, let me just go check the price.
Speaker 1: And he's like, so that's gonna be twelve hundred dollars
Speaker 1: and I go, um, no, so it's just leaking oil.
Speaker 1: He goes, yeah, it's leaking oil. I mean that's why
Speaker 1: you need an oil change. And I go, but also
Speaker 1: i've been dread like you know, you're supposed to get
Speaker 1: oil change every four thousand miles five um. It was
Speaker 1: like he's like, so, I go, why don't I just
Speaker 1: get more frequent oil changes then? And he was I go,
Speaker 1: wouldn't that be cheaper? And he's like yeah. It was
Speaker 1: like okay, or just go get an oil change you know,
Speaker 1: twice as much, And I go, I go, is there
Speaker 1: is it? Doesn't that make sense? Though? Dude, and he's
Speaker 1: because I go change like sixty bucks, you know, what
Speaker 1: is it? Thirty five sixty bucks at most? And I
Speaker 1: go and it's an annoying to have to go, but
Speaker 1: to just six. He goes, but you're leaking oil and
Speaker 1: I go, but it seems like you just get more
Speaker 1: and he's like, yeah, I guess I bet you. Also
Speaker 1: there's someone listening right now being like that should be
Speaker 1: like a two I know, like he's just putting gum
Speaker 1: on it, you know, like I don't know what they do.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's I don't no one looks into it. Like,
Speaker 1: I'm glad that you called him out on that really
Speaker 1: dirty I really liked his dirty hands. I like a
Speaker 1: guy when they have like when they've been working on
Speaker 1: a car hands. This guy, I was attracted to his
Speaker 1: hands when he's like typing in the keys yeah yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: and then the keyboard has grease on it too, and
Speaker 1: they always type with two fingers. What do you want?
Speaker 1: I didn't know I would be horny for dirty hands.
Speaker 1: Would you make him watch his hands before you fuck? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Because grease like you get it off that you get
Speaker 1: off all like as much as you can. But that
Speaker 1: turns yon, though I feel like, no, what doesn't all
Speaker 1: come off? Though? It's like a sharpie, you know it,
Speaker 1: like absorbs in your skin? Would you let him? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Loop it up. He's already up stick that an imminent
Speaker 1: guyd Incologists was arrested, and imminent imminent means like it's
Speaker 1: definitely gonna happened. E M I N E N t eminent.
Speaker 1: Some guy, some guy by the way, a fan of ours.
Speaker 1: I guess, like, listen to it pod. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you heard him. He goes, I like the pod.
Speaker 1: It's pretty fun. It's pretty funny. And I go, okay,
Speaker 1: cool and like the way he said it already knew
Speaker 1: like I don't know, he just I don't know if
Speaker 1: he had it, like any mental issues. But he's like,
Speaker 1: you know, you're pretty good on it like that like
Speaker 1: everything that the meat and great. And then he goes
Speaker 1: he goes, yeah, you're like a like like your character,
Speaker 1: like you're a fucking idiot. And I was like thanks,
Speaker 1: like it was so like, oh no, I remember what
Speaker 1: he said. That was not what he said. He goes,
Speaker 1: why isn't this guy famous? He's so funny? Have you
Speaker 1: are you not trying that was a difference different. That
Speaker 1: was funny. That was, how are you not famous earlier?
Speaker 1: How are your dogwalkers so long? Were you not trying?
Speaker 1: Were not trying? But they other guy, you're fucking idiot,
Speaker 1: Like you know, that's like, that's like what you play.
Speaker 1: And I was like, did you see my post yesterday
Speaker 1: where that guys complimented my legs? My knees are two
Speaker 1: point five, my calves are an eight, my thighs are
Speaker 1: a ten. I'm just like he thought he was being charming.
Speaker 1: He wrote this after I posted. He wrote all these paragraphs.
Speaker 1: I didn't even read them music either Nicky or whoever
Speaker 1: is your assistant is and I just stopped reading. I'm
Speaker 1: just like, I know you were trying to get my
Speaker 1: attention by being like roasty, and it's like the opposite.
Speaker 1: It's that's why I love. Our fans are actual fans.
Speaker 1: They never say ship like that, besties. Someone wrote a
Speaker 1: comment on our pod saying like, if you compare the
Speaker 1: comments on your actual we posted the same picture on
Speaker 1: both on both things, and if you go to the
Speaker 1: actual page for our fan page, it's just or or
Speaker 1: the pod page, it's literally night and day. It's fucking wild. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's why I don't feel safe going live on my own. Like,
Speaker 1: that's why everything I do I really just want to
Speaker 1: do on Nikki Glas. I just feel so much freer,
Speaker 1: more followers, more problems. That's what Biggie said before he
Speaker 1: gets shot. An imminent gynecologist means famous or highly regarded
Speaker 1: eminem gynecologists was arrested on suspicion of tricking patients and
Speaker 1: then having sex with him, claiming he could prevent cancer
Speaker 1: with his magic flute. So god, he was telling women
Speaker 1: that he could because he was he had the booster
Speaker 1: for or the vaccine for HPV, that if they fucked him,
Speaker 1: then their HPV would either go he would never get
Speaker 1: it he's or they would never get it. I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously this guy's disgusting, But if you're falling for that,
Speaker 1: I mean it sounds like you're consenting. Like guys can
Speaker 1: say whatever they want to get you in bed, but
Speaker 1: it doesn't. But if he's a doctor, didn't I mean, yes,
Speaker 1: that's did not professional, and I mean it's wild. But also,
Speaker 1: why wouldn't they just get their vaccine? I don't know
Speaker 1: why they would use the penis to man I am
Speaker 1: ianoke so he got caught. I kind of want to.
Speaker 1: I like porn where the girl's going in for a
Speaker 1: thing and like the doctor kind of gets a little
Speaker 1: bit pervy. Is that wrong? No, it's not wrong. I
Speaker 1: mean it sounds like you want the magic flute. No,
Speaker 1: I don't want that. I like when they're just like, oh,
Speaker 1: like when they are just like the girls, like, um,
Speaker 1: I don't think you're but she like kind of likes
Speaker 1: it reluctant porn. But I didn't know, like I've I've
Speaker 1: been trying to Whenever I type in doctor creepy doctor,
Speaker 1: it's always like a guy that just starts like fucking
Speaker 1: the girl right away. I'm like, No, I wanted to
Speaker 1: be very creepy and insidious. You also type it in
Speaker 1: on zoc doc, which is interesting. Yeah, and there's none
Speaker 1: in that will take my insurance. And they're booked out
Speaker 1: to like in April bullshit with Blue Cross Blue Balls. Um,
Speaker 1: all right, let's get to let's take a break, and
Speaker 1: then we'll come back with why do I Care? Why
Speaker 1: do I Care? Why do I care? Fuck? Sean Mendez
Speaker 1: releases broke Off Yeah, and he released a breakup bell
Speaker 1: in two weeks after splitting with Camelia, Camilla, Camelia cabilu. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: what does Camila Cabella sing? But would tell me anything
Speaker 1: about her? And he when he missing, wait, la la
Speaker 1: la la pie. Yeah, I want to eat pie. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was just thinking of a funny
Speaker 1: thing that would be like, not sexy at all. Um,
Speaker 1: So he wrote this, and people think, like you break
Speaker 1: up two weeks ago? Did he have time to write?
Speaker 1: Was the song already written? Produced and recorded? Like you
Speaker 1: pust out a song in a day and get it,
Speaker 1: you know, mixed and mastered and all that, you know,
Speaker 1: within two days. I would say, So we released a song,
Speaker 1: can we hear it? Uh? No, I don't have that
Speaker 1: all of it, but we can go over the If
Speaker 1: you tell me you're leaving, I'll make it easy. It'll
Speaker 1: be okay. If we can't stop the bleeding, we don't
Speaker 1: have to fix it. We don't have to stay. I
Speaker 1: will love you either way. Yeah, it was really nice.
Speaker 1: And then he said, that's not true. Your stomach was weird.
Speaker 1: You never suck my balls. No, that's what he wrote. Well,
Speaker 1: then he you're ready. Should have taken a little more time. Um,
Speaker 1: that's nice. I like those lyrics. I love that idea
Speaker 1: of like, yeah, that's that's how I always want to
Speaker 1: leave every relationship. Now it's like we're both better people.
Speaker 1: We don't hate each other. We want to be friends.
Speaker 1: Because if you if you like someone enough to have
Speaker 1: them in your life romantically, like, that's insane to just
Speaker 1: go to being nothing. It's always made me so want
Speaker 1: the best for them because they didn't work with you,
Speaker 1: or just to have never talked to them again. I
Speaker 1: understand that people get jealous and they don't want you
Speaker 1: to hang out with your exts are being friends, but
Speaker 1: I just if I feel like I don't want to
Speaker 1: date someone unless they would be someone i'd want to
Speaker 1: be friends with if we weren't sucking, I do feel
Speaker 1: like I could literally say, you know, honestly, I want
Speaker 1: the best for you. I want you to meet someone amazing,
Speaker 1: but I also don't need you at all in my life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well then you shouldn't have been with that person begin with,
Speaker 1: because they don't because shouldn't you want to you like
Speaker 1: the person and be like and want them around, like
Speaker 1: and I want to be with someone. I will say
Speaker 1: that there have been times that I was able to
Speaker 1: just be like I unless we're get out of my life.
Speaker 1: But I don't want that in a relationship anymore. Like
Speaker 1: if someone is my boyfriend, I would want them to
Speaker 1: they would have to start out as like someone I
Speaker 1: would be best friends with. Anyway, Now I feel like
Speaker 1: that that's the way I want to part ways. I mean,
Speaker 1: it is like if you put out an album two
Speaker 1: weeks later, then I'd be like, Okay, that's kind of
Speaker 1: a song written about me. God damn it, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't want give me a b by you bitch
Speaker 1: or whatever you look right, I don't need it. The
Speaker 1: other day, crying about a guy and like being so sad,
Speaker 1: and Andrew was like, well I love you, Nick, and
Speaker 1: I would just go like, what was the sound I made?
Speaker 1: You laughed so hard? I'll tell you a real by
Speaker 1: you bit? Well, I you thought I was playing, but
Speaker 1: I of course everything's a play kate when you think
Speaker 1: about it. If you're trying to make someone feel better, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're play kating to what there wants and needs. Yeah
Speaker 1: maybe it didn't feel sincere. Well, it's just you know,
Speaker 1: it's like when like do I look fat? You go, no,
Speaker 1: you don't look fat, Like it's like they felt like that. Yes,
Speaker 1: where It's like I would rather you just say I
Speaker 1: don't look fat, Like that'd be so weird to just
Speaker 1: appro up nothing. You just say, hey, you don't look fat, right,
Speaker 1: and you'd go, it's so funny, you don't look fat
Speaker 1: at all. But but I just wanted you to know
Speaker 1: you don't look fat. You don't. You really don't what? Alright,
Speaker 1: let's get to our segment every Monday we do. I
Speaker 1: don't know why I said it like that. Top one,
Speaker 1: bottom one. What's the subject this week? Noah chosen by Andrew.
Speaker 1: Salad topping, salad topping. What is your least favorite salad topping? Andrew,
Speaker 1: I'd have to say just regular onions. Oh, like a
Speaker 1: white onions, just one of those, Like they don't have
Speaker 1: any pizzas. It's just like they just look like fucking
Speaker 1: like worms kind of that are flat, just and they're
Speaker 1: like wet for some reason. But I don't even know
Speaker 1: why they're wet. And I don't know if it adds
Speaker 1: any I like a red onion on a sandwich, like
Speaker 1: if the red on onions have a little zest to them,
Speaker 1: white bland, thick onion, or it's like the thin ones,
Speaker 1: the thin ones that have like no weight to them, Like, oh,
Speaker 1: you want that in your sad. It's like, no, I
Speaker 1: don't want to fucking onion up. I like a I
Speaker 1: like a fried onion, those little like yes, those are great,
Speaker 1: but it's like a raw onion. Get it out of here,
Speaker 1: doing my salad out, Get out of here, get away
Speaker 1: from my fucking beats, your bitch by you bitch. Um. Okay, Noah,
Speaker 1: what is your least favorite salad topping. It's going to
Speaker 1: be very controversial, but the cruton crew toons. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: mind a cruton, but I usually I just like bread
Speaker 1: is not where I want to get my calories from,
Speaker 1: so I just go no, I don't need that. Um,
Speaker 1: why why not the cruton for you? I don't like.
Speaker 1: I find that they just have like a weird aftertaste.
Speaker 1: I also, I don't know, like, if I'm eating a salad,
Speaker 1: I'm not looking for bread. I don't know, I'm just
Speaker 1: looking for vegetables. Okay, there are a lot of salad
Speaker 1: places that give you a big gast thing of bread
Speaker 1: with your salad, which obviously we're here for salad. We
Speaker 1: probably are trying to not eat as much bread. Yes,
Speaker 1: and they're like, how here you go? Like, anytime they
Speaker 1: put crutons and I'm trying to like diet or anything,
Speaker 1: I'll not eat the crutons until yeen and then I'm
Speaker 1: like I'll just do what Yeah? I always do that too? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What about mine? I mean I have so many being
Speaker 1: a vegan, like any kind of but like, these are
Speaker 1: things that are like truly gross me out, and it
Speaker 1: I think the top prize is going to be. And
Speaker 1: this is also first of all, green olives are the
Speaker 1: grossest olives. I don't like black olives either, but green
Speaker 1: olives disgusting and sometimes they're not usually in salads, but
Speaker 1: definitely I don't want those in my salad. Now, what's
Speaker 1: the difference to you in your mouth? For a green
Speaker 1: rist of black olive? Green is like a little bit
Speaker 1: slimier and has that red thing in it penis. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't like it a little. I hate it. Um.
Speaker 1: My least favorite thing by far is a cherry tomato.
Speaker 1: Cut it up, cut it up. I don't want that
Speaker 1: thing bursting in my mouth like a big old beetle
Speaker 1: that I have a fucking rotted log in the rainforest.
Speaker 1: I'm not sucking pumba. But I love gushers. But the
Speaker 1: just the snap in the squirt, it just reminds me
Speaker 1: of a big, fat, juicy beetle. It's a lot because
Speaker 1: every other part of the salad kind of goes down
Speaker 1: pretty easily, and that one just goes crunches and then
Speaker 1: it ruins. It's splashes and just soaks. It's like a
Speaker 1: balloon popping all over your fucking bite. I don't like it.
Speaker 1: And it's too circular. It's like it's like a little balloon. Yes,
Speaker 1: I cut and I sliced them, so it's not one
Speaker 1: of the things that will remove from the salad, but
Speaker 1: I will have to, you know, slice it up. Uh, Andrew,
Speaker 1: what is your favorite salad topping? Man? This is tough
Speaker 1: because I was gonna do. I don't want to do
Speaker 1: meat because I just feel like that's too easy. I think, uh,
Speaker 1: something like, um, oh, you know it's great. Crazins, Okay,
Speaker 1: I like a crazing and I like kidney beans, which
Speaker 1: kidney beans might be the worst name for food top ten.
Speaker 1: I just don't really just eat can't tonite, even though
Speaker 1: I only know that kidneys look like kidneys because of
Speaker 1: the kidney beans, and so it really looks like looks
Speaker 1: like That's what I'm saying. I think we that's where
Speaker 1: we think we go. Oh my god, kidney beans really
Speaker 1: look like kidneys. But it's only because we we know
Speaker 1: what we know kidney beans. Just let's keep the body
Speaker 1: parts out of the name of the foods. How about that?
Speaker 1: You know I don't want to fucking intestine fucking broccoli. Yeah,
Speaker 1: get it out of here. Okay, I like that. No, uh,
Speaker 1: I cannot have salad without nuts on it. And my favorite,
Speaker 1: I think would have to be like a candied walnut. Walnut,
Speaker 1: and we got this the sweetness in there. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: a good one, a good crunch. You got the oil
Speaker 1: with it too, like it has like a if you're ever,
Speaker 1: you know, any vegetable that is saute aid is going
Speaker 1: to be better. A fried onion is going to be
Speaker 1: better than a raw onion. It's just that. And the
Speaker 1: walnut takes the place of a crouton if I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be honest, like it takes. Yes, My number one is
Speaker 1: a a what's it called? You put a chick piece
Speaker 1: toasted chickpeas, like fried chickpeas off the crunch. The health factor,
Speaker 1: the deliciousness, the consistency, the way they snap. Oh if
Speaker 1: they're so freaking good. Love those in a salad everywhere though.
Speaker 1: They're fine if you find one, hold onto it and
Speaker 1: make it a full not a half salad. Yeah. Favorite
Speaker 1: topping for a salad is just more salad. I love Russell.
Speaker 1: I was gonna it was between Brussels and Good but
Speaker 1: they give me heartburn. Beats fantastic love a beat. Can we,
Speaker 1: in our final thought, get into dressing? Oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: can get into dressing. Okay, let's do a bottom dressing. Um,
Speaker 1: the Thaie peanut dressing. Least favorite? No, it's my favorite.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Bottom. Probably Italian. It's like, what
Speaker 1: are we doing? It's like so boring, no fense, it's
Speaker 1: not it's about family. Love an Italian dressing. I love
Speaker 1: of a lighter vinegarette type. I don't like a thick,
Speaker 1: creamy Yeah maybe that's the Italian I'm thinking of. But
Speaker 1: although I'm a big fan of cream, so yeah, you
Speaker 1: love the cream all right? No, what what's dressing are
Speaker 1: you not a fan of? I think just anything with
Speaker 1: like cilantro in it right to me? I have the
Speaker 1: thing where cilantro taste like soap to me. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Interesting whoa yeah, okay, yeah, I think the grossest salad
Speaker 1: dressing is like, um yeah, any kind of like uh
Speaker 1: oh god, trying to think like a thousand island just
Speaker 1: like you know, like yeah, Russia. I mean, I bet
Speaker 1: it's good. I just have never even tried any It
Speaker 1: just looks like ketchup mustard and manni I was right?
Speaker 1: Are you serious? Is that what it is? I mean,
Speaker 1: that's what I was told when I used to I
Speaker 1: can't grow. I think there's like a red pepper involved
Speaker 1: in it too. I think there's something else in there
Speaker 1: there that cannot be what it is that is horrifying.
Speaker 1: Oh and the tears of immigrants, yes, which is just delicious. No, yes,
Speaker 1: it's uh no, yes, no, yes. What's your top dressing?
Speaker 1: My top dressing is from Aladdin Cafe in Kansas City
Speaker 1: or in City and where I used to work in college.
Speaker 1: It was like this vinagarette, this Greek dressing that they
Speaker 1: put on their Greek salad. If I'm gonna be, if
Speaker 1: I'm going on being here, best salad topping feta cheese.
Speaker 1: I fucking love feta cheese. It um but yeah, this
Speaker 1: it's this green, vinegary like cucumber and oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's so good. A Laddin Cafe Kansas City or Lawrence, Kansas.
Speaker 1: Gotta go there. Try that dress salad dressing and my
Speaker 1: mouth is watering thinking about it. Yeah, top dressing guy,
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess, oh, I kind of said it.
Speaker 1: Or peanut the tai peanut like a tachini dressing tis fun,
Speaker 1: but miss miss So, there's amazing kind of me so
Speaker 1: dressing that they sell in um grocery stores. Or carrot ginger,
Speaker 1: carrot ginger Jackanese Japanese how stild dressing is the best?
Speaker 1: That orange, fucking healthy, crispy light fresh off. You know
Speaker 1: it's good because the carrot ginger number one, because they'll
Speaker 1: bring out a salad a lot of these Japanese restaurants
Speaker 1: and it's just salad and just like a few carrots,
Speaker 1: and you still eat the funk out of it because
Speaker 1: the dressing so like you're that dressing is so tangy
Speaker 1: and sweet and light and that soups salad in it,
Speaker 1: and I love it, you know what I mean? Alright,
Speaker 1: we've really done it here. I really like talking about food.
Speaker 1: I love it too, Yeah, did we just come up
Speaker 1: with we gotta have a news segment where we could talk. Yeah,
Speaker 1: food talks. So it is because it's so we all
Speaker 1: we all like and just like such different things. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I could go on for days. There's no food. I mean, well,
Speaker 1: let's get into it maybe later this weekend. Things we
Speaker 1: truly to test and would never eat, yes, eat, never
Speaker 1: even eat. There's one for me that a lot of
Speaker 1: people love, and I just I wish I loved it
Speaker 1: because it seems like it would be delicious to like it.
Speaker 1: Because there are some that I hated as a kid, despised.
Speaker 1: Then they've come made a comeback. Yeah, if you're holding
Speaker 1: onto things that you didn't like as a kid, grow
Speaker 1: the funk up. Try it now as a doll. Stop
Speaker 1: it are a child. Oh you didn't like onions as
Speaker 1: a child. No one likes fucking onions as a child.
Speaker 1: Start trying, but you like them? Saunt some people. I
Speaker 1: don't even went there, and just stop this little childish
Speaker 1: picking things off things. Just eat it, Just try it,
Speaker 1: and then if you don't like it, then then we
Speaker 1: can talk. I don't do avocado. It's weird how they
Speaker 1: cut it. Get out of here. Oh is that what
Speaker 1: people say? Avocado does kind of bump me out of
Speaker 1: the salad because it is too mushy. It's just not
Speaker 1: a good consistency unless you mix it in with a
Speaker 1: dressing and like you know, make it like you know, creamy.
Speaker 1: But just like itself, it's just like it has no
Speaker 1: It's like is an apple that you bite into and
Speaker 1: it goes. It's not crunchy. Yeah, I like to go
Speaker 1: and then you crack it off. The apple macintosh, which
Speaker 1: is a smaller apple, has a softer feel to it.
Speaker 1: I'm a fan. All right, Well, there you have it.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, guys. That's your Monday show. I guess
Speaker 1: with that was fun. It was like a relaxing, little
Speaker 1: like lazy river of the show. I really felt like
Speaker 1: I was in a lazy river. I do feel like
Speaker 1: people like lazy rivers in their life while you're driving.
Speaker 1: Nothing better. Yeah, that's just like mundane soft, not really
Speaker 1: that challenging, ye talking about Oh well, let's talk about it. Really.
Speaker 1: I hope we touched you guys today and not in
Speaker 1: that way. Thank you so much for listening. We love
Speaker 1: you so much and we're I mean not yeah, uh,
Speaker 1: and don't be cut and ripper. MH, I did Jacqueline
Speaker 1: Kennedy did. I did the ripper the other day. All right, ready,
Speaker 1: let's do it again. Kidney beans,