Speaker 1: It was good, was popping as you you old a
Speaker 1: girl a Mada and you're listening to exactly a Mada,
Speaker 1: a production of My Heart Radio. Super happy, super excited.
Speaker 1: The year is almost over. There's so many things happening. Um,
Speaker 1: God has blessed me with ending the year being a
Speaker 1: mommy of two. I know that. I keep telling you
Speaker 1: on and y'all must be so tired and over like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. Every show she's talking about her pregnancy.
Speaker 1: But OK, yeah, what do you I wanna do? My
Speaker 1: pregnancy is only gonna last a couple of months and
Speaker 1: after that, God knows what I'm gonna be pregnant again.
Speaker 1: And it's a blessing. Like my body is creating my
Speaker 1: own people. I am creating my own little warriors. I
Speaker 1: am creating my own you know what I'm saying, my
Speaker 1: own entourage. So I am very excited, but at the
Speaker 1: same time, as excited as I am, I won't say
Speaker 1: that I'm excited, but you know I am. I am
Speaker 1: currently a single mother, and I guess that I am
Speaker 1: a single mother by choice, not and I want to
Speaker 1: clarify that too, because a lot of people, you know,
Speaker 1: they'll be talking shit, oh oh, they got her pregnant,
Speaker 1: they dumped her here and want her It's that's not
Speaker 1: even close to what it is. I just chose that
Speaker 1: for my baby's sake and for myself in order to
Speaker 1: have a happy home and a peaceful home where there
Speaker 1: weren't any you know, arguments and fighting, and I just
Speaker 1: didn't want to create that, um you know, that trauma.
Speaker 1: I thought that it was best for me to be
Speaker 1: a single mother. It's not that the father doesn't want
Speaker 1: to be involved. The father wants to be a thousand
Speaker 1: percent involved. I just don't think that is the best
Speaker 1: move for my children's health, their mental state. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: a lot of parents know where I'm coming from, a
Speaker 1: lot of kids know where I'm coming from. Because maybe
Speaker 1: you were raised by a single mother. Maybe you were
Speaker 1: raised in a home where there was domestic abuse. Maybe
Speaker 1: you were raising a home where there was a lot
Speaker 1: of fighting and arguing. Maybe you were raising a home
Speaker 1: where your parents stayed together just for the children, and
Speaker 1: you were like, I would have rather y'all, you know,
Speaker 1: split up, and we would have been much happier. Maybe,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know what type of household you
Speaker 1: were raised in, But today I want to talk about
Speaker 1: single mothers because I was raised by a single mother,
Speaker 1: and now more than ever, I understand the struggles and
Speaker 1: I am so grateful and I honor my mother more
Speaker 1: than ever for understanding now as an adult, all the
Speaker 1: sacrifices and other hard things that, um, that our parents
Speaker 1: have to go through in orders to raise us and
Speaker 1: give us, you know, the best future in life that
Speaker 1: they can provide for us. I was raised as a
Speaker 1: single daughter, but there's a lot of mothers out there
Speaker 1: that raised more than one child, and it's a lot.
Speaker 1: But someone who was part of of of my life
Speaker 1: growing up and she's still part of my life. But oh,
Speaker 1: I you know, I kind of saw her as a
Speaker 1: mother figure growing up as well, because my mom was
Speaker 1: always working. It's my godmother. My godmother is such an
Speaker 1: amazing woman. She is an entrepreneur, she's a businesswoman. She
Speaker 1: also was a single mother, not uh not in the
Speaker 1: beginning of the of her of her having her baby,
Speaker 1: you know, because the father left eventually. But I almost
Speaker 1: feel like sometimes just because the father is present doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that they are necessarily present all the way. So, um,
Speaker 1: my godmother. She is also an amazing publicist. Um, she's
Speaker 1: she works here in Miami with a lot of celebrities,
Speaker 1: with a lot of artists. I never understood how she
Speaker 1: was able to be such an amazing mom, take her
Speaker 1: daughter to dance classes, take her daughter to events, activities.
Speaker 1: She was like the cool mom and at the same
Speaker 1: time to be a businesswoman and handed her business. And
Speaker 1: that's why today I want to bring in my godmother,
Speaker 1: media and a gul She is here with us. Hi, Mariam, Hello,
Speaker 1: how are you? I'm doing good? Thank you for those
Speaker 1: lovely words. Of course, of course you know that now
Speaker 1: that I'm going through this transition. Um, you know, I
Speaker 1: feel like I don't want to say that I was
Speaker 1: judgmental towards my mom or maybe judgmental towards you, because
Speaker 1: I know that, you know, a lot of kids can
Speaker 1: sometimes hold those grudges that our parents didn't stay with
Speaker 1: our fathers, that our parents, you know, we feel like
Speaker 1: they didn't make the should have sacrificed more for us
Speaker 1: so that we could have had our moms and dad together.
Speaker 1: But I want to know, how did you do it
Speaker 1: as a single mother. How was it for you to
Speaker 1: take that decision of I am going to now take
Speaker 1: this responsibility for myself a pent and I will be
Speaker 1: the mother and father for my children. It's hard, you know,
Speaker 1: being um Lapino. Our our culture is very much uh
Speaker 1: like older generation. They were very submissive and they have
Speaker 1: these marriages that lasted forever. I think from my generation
Speaker 1: going you know lower um we our visions have changed
Speaker 1: the way we think. I feel that if I can
Speaker 1: go back and do a lot of things, I would
Speaker 1: do it different. I stayed in my marriage longer than
Speaker 1: I wanted because every time I spoke about divorce, even
Speaker 1: though he knew and he didn't want it, my parents
Speaker 1: influenced more of making me stay together. Meanwhile, my parents
Speaker 1: were divorced, but they were very proactive in my life.
Speaker 1: So yes, it's hard. And then when I finally made
Speaker 1: that decision, I saw the effect that I had on
Speaker 1: my daughter, your god sister, and I wish I would
Speaker 1: have done things different to it, from scratch to it,
Speaker 1: from inception, Like what give guide me through this process?
Speaker 1: Because I found out I was pregnant and I was
Speaker 1: separated in the house, and the agreement was that I
Speaker 1: gave him thirty days, so he was like two weeks
Speaker 1: in and I have there's a I don't even know
Speaker 1: what the precise name is, but there's a condition where
Speaker 1: women can be pregnant and they don't even it doesn't
Speaker 1: come up on their blood work or their year. And
Speaker 1: until later on, I had that. So I was like
Speaker 1: four months breaten it when I found out and didn't
Speaker 1: have a symptom at all. But as soon as I knew,
Speaker 1: I had every symptom imaginable. Okay, so I was separated.
Speaker 1: I kept it quiet. I told my grandmother, not even
Speaker 1: my mother. My grandmother supported my idea. And by the way,
Speaker 1: your family, your family is Cuban. Just just verybody to know.
Speaker 1: My family's Cuban and it's very strict and and very
Speaker 1: strict upbringing. But my grandmother was very proactive or very
Speaker 1: open about abortions because when she was in Cuba the
Speaker 1: financial situation, she went through abortions. So she told me.
Speaker 1: I was like, I think I wanted abortion, But it
Speaker 1: wasn't that I wanted abortion because I didn't want my child.
Speaker 1: I just knew I didn't want to be with him
Speaker 1: because I knew that it was a toxic relationship relationship,
Speaker 1: and I was thinking about the mental state of myself
Speaker 1: and my child, and I was like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to bring my child up in that in that environment.
Speaker 1: So I applaud Drew for making that choice. It's hard,
Speaker 1: it's not easy, but you have to stand on your ground.
Speaker 1: You are mommy and daddy as it is, even though
Speaker 1: that your mother has always been there for you. It's
Speaker 1: like the roles have reversed, like now you're in charge.
Speaker 1: But do you feel this certain well, I mean you
Speaker 1: can know it, but you think that that's almost like creating,
Speaker 1: like a you know, repeating the cycle. No, your situation
Speaker 1: was different than my situation. Meaning when your parents split,
Speaker 1: I lived it. Remember your first five years we're all mine.
Speaker 1: You were literally my firstborn child. Okay, Um, when your
Speaker 1: parents split, um it wasn't surprising, but I didn't see
Speaker 1: it coming when how everything played out. But your mother
Speaker 1: in that relationship was always the strong one, the go
Speaker 1: get her, the she was the hustler. She and and
Speaker 1: and and you know, not not taking anything from you that,
Speaker 1: but you know your dad's Yeah, his demeanor is different,
Speaker 1: his personalities very That's why that's why I almost feel
Speaker 1: like I don't want to judge the women that surround me,
Speaker 1: because sometimes unconsciously, these can be patterns that we follow
Speaker 1: when we see the people like, you know, the strong
Speaker 1: women around us. Unconsciously, I wonder, am I somewhat repeating
Speaker 1: the cycle the pattern of you know, now becoming a
Speaker 1: single mother, because it's not like I can't not not
Speaker 1: be with the father of my child. But then now
Speaker 1: here goes other questions like how do you even decide
Speaker 1: to co parent? How? How did you make that decision easily? Easily?
Speaker 1: You have to set what okay, you know this person,
Speaker 1: you know, you're the father of your children, and how
Speaker 1: do you want to refer to You know what's good
Speaker 1: and what isn't? You know what's healthy and what what isn't.
Speaker 1: Your your situation is totally different because you have to
Speaker 1: be like, I'm about to have not one too based
Speaker 1: on what you've gone through? Do I want this, Like
Speaker 1: just for the for the sake of saying I'm with
Speaker 1: the father of my children, do I want that in
Speaker 1: you know, that hostility, that environment. Do you ever regret
Speaker 1: not um not necessarily forcing, but having him be more
Speaker 1: involved in your child's life? Like for example, for two seconds,
Speaker 1: I to wonder, you know, am I making the wrong decisions?
Speaker 1: Should I? You know? Even though that I know this person,
Speaker 1: and I know the pros and cons. Should I allow
Speaker 1: this person to be involved in this child's life or
Speaker 1: should I do it for my child's mental health and
Speaker 1: safety and everything else to protect them? And and be like,
Speaker 1: this is not the best environment for you, How is
Speaker 1: it for you? You You know what's good you You're you're
Speaker 1: developing what all mothers developed, that six intuition. You know
Speaker 1: what you've lived and do you want that? So at
Speaker 1: the to the day, you're gonna show them a positive upbringing.
Speaker 1: You're gonna be positive. They're gonna see someone who is
Speaker 1: there for them, someone who who you have your nuclear family.
Speaker 1: It's your mom, it's you and and whether you know
Speaker 1: to whatever extent even your father is part of your life.
Speaker 1: Now okay, um, well we know you know what any
Speaker 1: let me let me let me give compaeti credit. Thank
Speaker 1: god he doesn't know English because your well that's different
Speaker 1: because my father is here, because you don't really get
Speaker 1: too much of an option. But at the same I
Speaker 1: know he's not hands on, but I'm just in the
Speaker 1: sense that maybe this is also a way for him
Speaker 1: to make up, because that's what I hear grandparents do.
Speaker 1: They make up for what they didn't do with their children.
Speaker 1: So yes, he was not there for you, but he
Speaker 1: could be there for those girls and make up and
Speaker 1: be a different person then he was with you. We
Speaker 1: could pray. Even if it's back and forth. We know,
Speaker 1: we know him. Let me just give him sec He's special.
Speaker 1: Um with your godfather, you you lived it. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: lived it. Your god sister lived it. There's no you
Speaker 1: know that he was a tiring yeah, but whatever. But
Speaker 1: then when I see But then, when I saw you
Speaker 1: growing up, I saw such a strong woman who was independent,
Speaker 1: who was always working on the go, who was the
Speaker 1: best mother I can think of. You gave your daughter
Speaker 1: the best of everything. I would see. You would prevent
Speaker 1: yourself from getting things for yourself to provide for her.
Speaker 1: So then I wonder, how does she make time for her,
Speaker 1: the woman, her, the person, Miriam, the woman. Because you're
Speaker 1: so busy being a mom and a father at the
Speaker 1: same time, how do you make time for you and
Speaker 1: not lose yourself in the process. You know what? At
Speaker 1: times I felt that that I didn't give myself the
Speaker 1: TLC that I deserved, so my might disconnect from everything.
Speaker 1: Was going to get my hands, my feet, my hair,
Speaker 1: my massage. I had my my member ship at the
Speaker 1: at the spot I mean, I'm sorry, at the bilit
Speaker 1: More Spa. And I used to go there to disconnect
Speaker 1: and do myself. Mind you, at times, your god sister
Speaker 1: was there with me, so it wasn't I couldn't even
Speaker 1: enjoy the time because I was always very vigilant of
Speaker 1: her being a minor. However, if I could do certain
Speaker 1: things differently, what what I have done, I would have
Speaker 1: stuck to my guns and I would have separated from
Speaker 1: him while I was pregnant. I was about to ask
Speaker 1: you that when you are a single mother, when you
Speaker 1: are because right now we're talking about single mothers. Eventually,
Speaker 1: I would love to talk to a single father because
Speaker 1: I think that there's a lot of men out there.
Speaker 1: There are great fathers, There's there's a lot of men
Speaker 1: out there that decide to make that their responsibility, whether
Speaker 1: it's because the mother is unable to well for whatever
Speaker 1: extray reason, they decide to you know, I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be that father figure, mother figure. And for the
Speaker 1: most part, we see more single mothers and fathers. Right,
Speaker 1: But how how was it for you? Like, what was
Speaker 1: your circle your support system? Because I know that not
Speaker 1: all single mothers have a support system. A lot of
Speaker 1: them immigrate, you know, to this country by themselves and
Speaker 1: have to figure it out on their own. At least
Speaker 1: you had your mother who was your support system. Yes,
Speaker 1: my support system was my mother, My main My main
Speaker 1: support system was my mom and my sister. But my
Speaker 1: mother was everything. Is everything, like, come on, you know
Speaker 1: your godsister calls my mom mom. I feel like my
Speaker 1: girls are going to be the same, the same with
Speaker 1: with my mom. I think so too. I think that
Speaker 1: now that you're having my babies, I will be able
Speaker 1: to enjoy them like I. I know that I used
Speaker 1: to take you guys when I had you wherever it
Speaker 1: needed to be, but I don't think I fully was able.
Speaker 1: I had so much going on up here that you
Speaker 1: weren't present right like I was. I know that I
Speaker 1: was there and I took you, But at the same time,
Speaker 1: you know very well, you guys used to be jumping
Speaker 1: around doing whatever, and I used to be trying to
Speaker 1: multitask and be on a business call at the same
Speaker 1: time because I was trying to build for me. Let
Speaker 1: me ask you this to how do you feel that
Speaker 1: the fact that the father wasn't as involved in your
Speaker 1: daughter's life. Um, how do you think that affected her?
Speaker 1: Because I know that there's a for example, I know
Speaker 1: that my father not being in my life affected me
Speaker 1: a lot. I didn't even realize it twill years later.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to admit to it. Um. We always
Speaker 1: find excuses, We find other reasons instead of hitting the core.
Speaker 1: You date these type of people because you were missing
Speaker 1: and you're lacking on this. You accept certain behaviors from
Speaker 1: certain men because you want It took me many years
Speaker 1: to understand that not having the presence of a male figure,
Speaker 1: of a father figure in my life affected the way
Speaker 1: that I date, the way that I see men, the
Speaker 1: things that I accept, the things that I you know,
Speaker 1: all types of things. How do you think that that
Speaker 1: affected your daughter? And does it affect or not? It's
Speaker 1: it affects and it's different. I'm gonna tell you why.
Speaker 1: Because even though he was, like I said, present, when
Speaker 1: we used to have to travel for dance and stuff,
Speaker 1: and then maybe once in a blue moon passed through
Speaker 1: the dance studio, because her life was like yours in uh,
Speaker 1: go to school and go to dance studio. You were
Speaker 1: going to school, go to dance studio, and go to
Speaker 1: Univision because the girl up on you. Let's be realistic,
Speaker 1: but you know it was. But she was a daddy's girl.
Speaker 1: He was very much about her and obsessed. The day
Speaker 1: that I said I can't do this anymore, he completely
Speaker 1: cut her off, and she was thirteen going on fourteen.
Speaker 1: That affected her more. This is why I say I
Speaker 1: regret letting my parents manipulate me and all. You know,
Speaker 1: you know, she has to grow up with your with
Speaker 1: her father. I mean to a point that my parents
Speaker 1: lied to my daughter and said they were married, and
Speaker 1: she figured it out in fourth grade because they're very Catholic,
Speaker 1: but no one I was like when she found out.
Speaker 1: I was like, that's not y'all. But it affected her
Speaker 1: because she grew up with him on like literally on
Speaker 1: top of her, like oh, you know, they used to
Speaker 1: do things together in other ways, he was just tag
Speaker 1: along or whatever you wanna call it. But she was
Speaker 1: a daddy's girl. So when we I said I didn't
Speaker 1: want to be with him anymore, and I said, listen,
Speaker 1: we could be friends. I'm very my mentality is very
Speaker 1: American when it comes to that. He said, no, if
Speaker 1: you are not in my life. We cannot be friends, Okay,
Speaker 1: but I would have never thought in a million years
Speaker 1: he would have cut off his daughter. And I'm not
Speaker 1: talking about gradual. He went like this, cluem, clue, you
Speaker 1: don't want to be with me, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be with And that's a lot of fathers that end
Speaker 1: up doing that that they end up taking and never
Speaker 1: just fathers. But let's get into the women too. UM.
Speaker 1: I recently just saw a video clip of a woman
Speaker 1: abusing her child, recording it uh to show you know,
Speaker 1: show it and send it to her ex partner because
Speaker 1: she was like, if you're not gonna be with me,
Speaker 1: then screw this kid. And she was just beating on
Speaker 1: the child. Um. I feel like there's a lot of
Speaker 1: women and a lot of men that take out their
Speaker 1: their frustrations out on their children because they want to
Speaker 1: get back at, you know, the other person, without understanding
Speaker 1: and knowing how that can truly affect that kid's life. Um.
Speaker 1: And then that's where I come in. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I'm doing this right. I don't know if I'm
Speaker 1: doing this wrong. Am I taking my personal awakened? No?
Speaker 1: Because I know the way that I feel and I
Speaker 1: know the way that I think, and I've seen what
Speaker 1: I've seen, and i know what I know, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna leave it at that. But UM, for other girls
Speaker 1: that are out here listening, for other women that are
Speaker 1: out here listening, UM, sometimes we really have to have
Speaker 1: taken consideration, especially now, once you hit a certain age,
Speaker 1: dating has has definitely had to be different. You have
Speaker 1: to know the type of people that one thing is
Speaker 1: to have fun and another one is that fun can
Speaker 1: turn into a whole life partnership with a child in
Speaker 1: the in the in the middle that can get affect
Speaker 1: it by your decisions, whether you're a pro life or
Speaker 1: whether you're a pro choice. That's why you have to
Speaker 1: make sure that you know what type of people you're
Speaker 1: getting yourself involved with for situations like this, Like I said,
Speaker 1: I know that my father not being in my life
Speaker 1: truly affected me. That's why I feel that now it's
Speaker 1: an adult, I would love to take therapy. I always
Speaker 1: tell people that I think that there's no age specific
Speaker 1: age for therapy. I think that we all should take therapy.
Speaker 1: We all have traumas and things that we have to
Speaker 1: heal from. UM. And now I'm just trying to figure out.
Speaker 1: You know, now as a single mother, how do I
Speaker 1: make time for myself? How do I not lose? I'm
Speaker 1: out of fabulous, you know, now becoming a mom of
Speaker 1: two crying at the same time, how do I still be?
Speaker 1: You know, I'm a businesswoman and I'm you know, focused
Speaker 1: in my business. Um, how do I make time for everything?
Speaker 1: Because I'm afraid that working so much, I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: the best mother that I can be. You're working machine.
Speaker 1: You know. We've had this conversation nation before you. But
Speaker 1: you're also a libra because you need to find balance once.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you you're developing a sixth cent. You
Speaker 1: know what you want and don't want when you start dating.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you as someone who dated after yes,
Speaker 1: oh my god, how do you date after you have
Speaker 1: a game? You've heard the story countless times. Your your
Speaker 1: god sisters, what I left her dad when officially two
Speaker 1: thousand and seven one, she was like fourteen, your god sister,
Speaker 1: by choice? This is me by choice has never seen
Speaker 1: me with another man. But every guy that I date,
Speaker 1: I always think whether it's gonna last to day or
Speaker 1: last and a couple of years. I always say is
Speaker 1: this someone that I would want around my daughter, especially
Speaker 1: when she was growing up, because I would be like,
Speaker 1: are you gonna look at her with eyes? Oh my god? Hey,
Speaker 1: not just for the girls, for the boys. That being
Speaker 1: for the boys too, But when you have girls, it's
Speaker 1: more delicate because if they're voluptuous like we are, you
Speaker 1: know that you don't know if the guy you're dating
Speaker 1: is looking at her with eyes of a father or
Speaker 1: eyes of a man. And that's something that we always
Speaker 1: have to be careful with you. You're gonna develop that
Speaker 1: sixth sense of can can I even have you even
Speaker 1: as a friend sitting in my living room around my daughters? No?
Speaker 1: Because you want to give them better. So never don't
Speaker 1: regret what you do. You you live, you learn, and
Speaker 1: you move forward. You're not the first woman in this predicament,
Speaker 1: and you're not gonna be the last. You just have
Speaker 1: to learn from your mistakes and be like, I know
Speaker 1: for sure this is not what I want in my
Speaker 1: life or around my children, and make sure you don't
Speaker 1: repeat that pattern in a future partner. And then here
Speaker 1: goes something else. Another mistake I see the parents do
Speaker 1: a lot of times, is they start to talk um
Speaker 1: when they're single parents or single mothers, whatever, they end
Speaker 1: up telling their kids all the things that happened during
Speaker 1: the relationship, why their father is trash, why you know
Speaker 1: they're not involved in their life. And I feel like, yes,
Speaker 1: it was good that my mom told me that my
Speaker 1: father was trashed, But she also gave me the opportunity
Speaker 1: to see it with my eyes, Like she would let
Speaker 1: me call him and be like, look and see if
Speaker 1: he's gonna call you back. Never called me back, Or
Speaker 1: he would make promises and break them, like oh, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna give your hundred daughters so you can buy school
Speaker 1: supplies and I'm still waiting for the hundred daughters for
Speaker 1: the school supplies. Or I'm gonna go see you, or
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go do this, and he never did it.
Speaker 1: So she kind of allowed me to see it with
Speaker 1: my own eyes that he wasn't um the father that
Speaker 1: he should be as a parent. Should you tell your
Speaker 1: children when they ask, because all children's ask when fathers
Speaker 1: they come when they see their friends with their fathers
Speaker 1: and they don't see that they have their father's support.
Speaker 1: Should you tell them certain things? How much should you
Speaker 1: say and what shouldn't you say? It's all with time.
Speaker 1: It's all with time, and you're gonna know how to
Speaker 1: exactly what to tell them as they get older, like
Speaker 1: when they're in their teenage, when they can really understand
Speaker 1: that there's gonna come a time when you need to
Speaker 1: sit down like them and be like, this was my life,
Speaker 1: this is what transpired. And whenever you girls are ready,
Speaker 1: if you ever want to know who that person, who
Speaker 1: that person is, they'll tell you yes we do, or
Speaker 1: no we don't, because you're going to create their world. Again.
Speaker 1: I applaud you so much. I know what's a hard
Speaker 1: situation because we all have that illusion of I even
Speaker 1: went through it and I was married. I we want
Speaker 1: to have that. We see other people. Yeah, I did
Speaker 1: not have that then I was married. Well, I was wanted.
Speaker 1: I wanted the fairy tale, the wedding. The picnics doesn't exist,
Speaker 1: you know, pignics on Sundays and the barbecues with the
Speaker 1: lemonade and all those things. And I'm gonna be honest,
Speaker 1: and you know I left this situation and not because
Speaker 1: I was out of love. Um, you know, we didn't
Speaker 1: decide to break up because we stop, you know, liking
Speaker 1: or loving each other or being in love with each other,
Speaker 1: or whatever the case may be. It was just my
Speaker 1: decision to back away because I wanted to make the
Speaker 1: right decision for my children. But um, and I was
Speaker 1: just I just wanted to clarify that because I've seen
Speaker 1: so many comments on social media. People can say whatever
Speaker 1: they want, and I'm just, you know, letting the people talk.
Speaker 1: Now that I have an opportunity to talk for two seconds,
Speaker 1: and I won't give too much details because out of respect,
Speaker 1: everybody keeps asking me what about that? What I just
Speaker 1: felt like my life is so public and everything about
Speaker 1: me is so open. The one thing that I can
Speaker 1: keep to myself for a little bit is the privacy
Speaker 1: of my relationship and my personal life. And I want
Speaker 1: to out of experience out of my last two seasons
Speaker 1: in love and hip hop um, I learned that people
Speaker 1: can be so judgmental and and those relationships that are
Speaker 1: public like that get a lot of pressure. It's more
Speaker 1: pressure on us when we have the whole world having
Speaker 1: an opinion about what you should do to what you
Speaker 1: shouldn't do. So I decided, you know what, for the
Speaker 1: father of my child, I am going to keep my
Speaker 1: you know, my my opinions, my my life, whatever happened
Speaker 1: between us to ourselves, this is something. This is personal,
Speaker 1: and I'll keep it at that, and I won't say
Speaker 1: more than I should. All I'm saying is, at this
Speaker 1: moment in my life, at this moment in life, I
Speaker 1: just want to be the best mother that I can
Speaker 1: be for my children. And you know, I'm trying to
Speaker 1: do the right the right thing. But it's different for
Speaker 1: every parent. That's why to me, it was so important
Speaker 1: to have this conversation because there's a lot of there's
Speaker 1: a lot of young girls, there's a lot of young
Speaker 1: women out here that are going through the same situation
Speaker 1: that I am, that don't know what to do, that
Speaker 1: don't want to end up feeling guilty, that don't want
Speaker 1: to jeopardize your kids. Later on that you start to
Speaker 1: question yourself, am I doing the right thing by doing
Speaker 1: the wrong thing? Or my kid's gonna hate me, or
Speaker 1: my kid's gonna ask me on this type of question
Speaker 1: that I'm not gonna know what to do. Should I
Speaker 1: let the father be involve, Should I not let the
Speaker 1: father be involved? When do I leave? When do I say?
Speaker 1: There's so many questions. You just never know what is
Speaker 1: the right answer and want to do it. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you one thing and and and give advice to
Speaker 1: the girls out there listening right now to then maybe
Speaker 1: going through the same situation. I'm gonna in your situation.
Speaker 1: But I think any girl should put this in um broad.
Speaker 1: You were a product of none of having parents eparate.
Speaker 1: Do you even remember when when your dad was around
Speaker 1: when you were released? Because he left when you were like, no,
Speaker 1: you don't remember, right almost two or two you were like, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: so you don't really have a memory of him as
Speaker 1: a child. Besides the fact that your mom worked to
Speaker 1: the bone, because you see she's burned all over to
Speaker 1: the bone. Do you resent her or do you love
Speaker 1: and appreciate her? No, I love and appreciate her. Does
Speaker 1: she always give you a good example? Of course? Most
Speaker 1: definitely I admire she did her job. Yeah, look at
Speaker 1: you while you turned down, she dedicated. I used to
Speaker 1: fight with her because I used to be like the
Speaker 1: avern univision too late and I wanted to take you out,
Speaker 1: and I used to fight with her. But she had
Speaker 1: an idea this could be an outlet because she didn't
Speaker 1: have the time to run around to take you to
Speaker 1: this dance class or this and it had to be
Speaker 1: according So that was the longest where you can go
Speaker 1: from dance to the studio. Okay, you don't have any
Speaker 1: regrets of your mother and how you turned out. You're respectable,
Speaker 1: you're educated, you're a goal getter. You inherit it her trade,
Speaker 1: marks her marks her, her personality. And you even even
Speaker 1: developed something even bigger because you're the way you think
Speaker 1: and you and you evolved and you move is different.
Speaker 1: Of course times have changed, so all I could tell
Speaker 1: you is go with your six intuition. I promise you,
Speaker 1: Mama me knowing the back end of the story, I
Speaker 1: am so proud of you, and I love you, and
Speaker 1: I love the girls. I love the girls, like genuinely
Speaker 1: do you know that they're not even here and everybody's
Speaker 1: going crazy, we're all excited, but genuinely, I am proud
Speaker 1: of the woman you have become. You've been through hell
Speaker 1: and back in this business and everybody's always gonna point
Speaker 1: and judge you. But this is what you have to say.
Speaker 1: I am a public figure. Everybody has the right to
Speaker 1: their opinion. But at the end of the day, if
Speaker 1: you don't move and hustle and work. Nobody's gonna pay.
Speaker 1: That's true. That's true. Okay, so nobody's opinion can can
Speaker 1: really um bother you or or cloud you up. I mean,
Speaker 1: you know what all we have to do with baby
Speaker 1: Daddy is be like thank you ah. And you know what,
Speaker 1: with that message, with that message, I want to leave
Speaker 1: it at that. And and I love I love what
Speaker 1: you just said, and I want to leave it with
Speaker 1: that message. Who cares for all the single mothers out there,
Speaker 1: for all the single fathers out there? Who cares what
Speaker 1: anybody else has to say? Who cares? You know, if
Speaker 1: people are gonna have opinions about the way that you're
Speaker 1: raising your children and what you've done and what you
Speaker 1: haven't done, who care? Airs you will live for you.
Speaker 1: You will be the best parent that you can be,
Speaker 1: make the best decisions, the best choices that you can do.
Speaker 1: There's no guide book on how to live your life.
Speaker 1: We're all here trying to figure it out. We learned
Speaker 1: day by day with our experiences, with with all the
Speaker 1: things that have happened good and bed in our lives.
Speaker 1: We decide what choices to make um how to make
Speaker 1: the best out of all situations. And at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, who cares what the world has to say.
Speaker 1: No one's gonna pay your bills, no one's gonna maintain
Speaker 1: your kids, no one's gonna be there to support you
Speaker 1: on lessons of people that truly surround you, truly have
Speaker 1: loved for you. And that's why today's conversation was so
Speaker 1: important to me about single mothers, single parents, and like
Speaker 1: I said before, I would love to talk to eventually
Speaker 1: to a single father because I know that men's experience
Speaker 1: is a little bit different from women's experience because for
Speaker 1: the most part, there's so many single mothers. Miriam, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining me today. I am so
Speaker 1: grateful to have you on exactly a mada on this conversation.
Speaker 1: You are such an inspiration to me too many women
Speaker 1: out here. You are inspiring without and knowing your daughter
Speaker 1: is a successful woman thanks to you and your heart efforts.
Speaker 1: And that's why I want you guys to as always
Speaker 1: remember to rate us, share this podcast with everyone that
Speaker 1: you know, give us those five stars. To make sure
Speaker 1: that if you know a single mother, if you know
Speaker 1: a girl, they may be pregnant, this going through it,
Speaker 1: or whatever the case may be, make sure to share
Speaker 1: this podcast with her or with him, because this is
Speaker 1: definitely one of these heart to heart conversations that I
Speaker 1: wanted you guys to hear exactly from me. This has
Speaker 1: been a production of I Heart Radio is michaela podcast network,
Speaker 1: and for more podcast from my heart, visit the iHeart
Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
Speaker 1: favorite shows. You already know it's your girl a Mada Laga.
Speaker 1: I love you guys so much, and remember who cares
Speaker 1: what the world has to say. You live your life
Speaker 1: the best way that you can. See you next Thursday