Speaker 1: Hello, Hi guys, Welcome to the Unofficial Expert Podcast with
Speaker 1: Sydney and Marie.
Speaker 2: You know we're smart people, we know smart people. That's
Speaker 2: what this podcast is all about. The smartness. Sidney, you're
Speaker 2: my smartest friend.
Speaker 3: Well said, no, you're not, that's not But I.
Speaker 2: Feel like maybe I'm the smartest person that you know.
Speaker 2: That's a that's a that's a truth. No, Sydney, what
Speaker 2: were you an expert in this week? Also? Who do
Speaker 2: you know that's smarter than me? Name two friends?
Speaker 3: You know what?
Speaker 2: I can't? Well, Anthony, Anthony, who the Anthony Savino that
Speaker 2: I know? Yes, that's a damn love, Yes, okay? And
Speaker 2: then who else? I feel like you and Adrian are
Speaker 2: on the same I don't really Yeah, no, I don't
Speaker 2: think you're smarter than I heard. I said that I'm
Speaker 2: the smart you know what, Sidney, we don't talk about this.
Speaker 3: Off the record.
Speaker 2: This is on, this is off, don't.
Speaker 3: Talk about it off the record.
Speaker 2: I'm done talking about it right now. I can't believe you.
Speaker 1: What was that expert in this week? More bike stuff?
Speaker 1: I've been biking more. I was biking by myself before
Speaker 1: I was biking with Adrian. Because you know, I didn't
Speaker 1: know how to bike and I fell.
Speaker 2: But after you mean you didn't know how to bike,
Speaker 2: like you just learned how to ride a bike. No,
Speaker 2: but I haven't rode a bike in like ten years. Yeah,
Speaker 2: twelve years. That's a long time not to be on
Speaker 2: a bike, I know.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I rode the Williamsburg Bridge, I rode the
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Bridge, almost died seventeen times.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about those deaths. Okay.
Speaker 1: So first of all, there's an incline on the Williamsbrick
Speaker 1: Bridge that I didn't even know of.
Speaker 2: I thought that you just go straight straight, So as
Speaker 2: soon as you hit like two.
Speaker 1: Minutes in, you feel the incline. And I'm on a
Speaker 1: cruising ass bike. Everybody's on these like racer ass bike.
Speaker 1: People were like racing for them their lives.
Speaker 2: And I'm the only one like, I mean, the faster
Speaker 2: you get to the top of the hill, the faster
Speaker 2: you can coast down.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, but you got to get up that incline first.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I mean the city, I've been on
Speaker 2: that bridge before. I feel like you talk about an incline,
Speaker 2: It's not like you going up as steep ass hills,
Speaker 2: like you go, wait, were you going up there walking? No,
Speaker 2: I've been. I've been on the train across the It's
Speaker 2: not the same. It's not the same. You've got to
Speaker 2: get on a bike. For anybody who's listening to this,
Speaker 2: if you've ever been on a treadmill and you've been
Speaker 2: on like a three number a point three incline, I
Speaker 2: feel like that's what the bridge does. Mind you, it
Speaker 2: was like ninety two degrees. Well that's that's that's what
Speaker 2: it was. Also, because you you know, out of shape. No, no, no,
Speaker 2: I had road to your house. Okay, riding the bike
Speaker 2: one time doesn't make you in shape. You riding into
Speaker 2: shape now. I rode it a couple of times, you
Speaker 2: know what.
Speaker 1: Anyway, it was the hottest day this week, and I
Speaker 1: went to your house and I went to the Brooklyn Bridge.
Speaker 1: After the bridge, I was like, yeah, getting on the train.
Speaker 1: Can't do this, can't get back to I was already.
Speaker 2: In the city. So you were one of those assholes
Speaker 2: with a big ass bike on the train and you
Speaker 2: probably had a seat for your bike.
Speaker 3: God.
Speaker 1: People hated me. They hated they hated my stupid basket.
Speaker 1: Like people were rolling their eyes left and right, and
Speaker 1: then I was like, I've already rode the bike.
Speaker 2: Let me bring the bike up the stairs. So I'm halfway.
Speaker 1: Up the stairs and I'm struggling, and there's a guy
Speaker 1: behind me like do you want me to help you
Speaker 1: with that? And I was like, no, I got it,
Speaker 1: and I really didn't have it and I was struggling.
Speaker 2: Sorry the feminist, you weren't trying to let him just
Speaker 2: take the bike real quick?
Speaker 1: Well, why are you gonna ask me when I'm already
Speaker 1: halfway there?
Speaker 2: You should because he looked like it looked like you
Speaker 2: we wasn't gonna make it the rest of the way.
Speaker 3: It was not yo, yo.
Speaker 2: I almost knocked twelve of my dreads off. It was
Speaker 2: crazy sis.
Speaker 1: But then last night I was on the Williams brig
Speaker 1: Bridge and you know it's it's hard biking at night
Speaker 1: because these cars don't give.
Speaker 2: A fuck about you. Oh you do a nighttime bike,
Speaker 2: nighttime bike by yourself? Oh I got a city bike.
Speaker 3: Fidola yo?
Speaker 2: You are yo? I was like, I'm ready to die.
Speaker 2: Let's do this, Yeah you are? Are you ready to
Speaker 2: die on a city bike on a Williamsburg bridge not
Speaker 2: even like a like an iconic Brooklyn Bridge. So wait,
Speaker 2: I have to get that's the best bridge to die on.
Speaker 2: I mean if in terms of when people think of
Speaker 2: New York, they don't they don't even know what the
Speaker 2: hell of Williamsburg Bridge is. They know, maybe they might
Speaker 2: know the Manhattan Bridge, they might, but everybody knows what
Speaker 2: the Brooklyn Bridge is.
Speaker 3: Dude.
Speaker 2: I feel like the Pulaski Bridges is a nice Don't
Speaker 2: nobody know what bridge that is? Literally just like lit
Speaker 2: up or something like that. Nobody even knows who's So.
Speaker 1: Last night, I'm riding again on the incline or whatever,
Speaker 1: and I'm in a dress. I look crazy. Everyone is
Speaker 1: geared the fuck. Everybody has a head a helmet on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you got a wee So that's that's sturdy
Speaker 2: enough for yours.
Speaker 1: I know, these these locks have been in for like
Speaker 1: two months, so they hard as hell.
Speaker 2: They pretty much a helmet anyway, exactly exactly, so you
Speaker 2: just gotta change the shape. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I'm like pushing, I'm talking to myself like
Speaker 1: I'm like you would do this, don't stop, don't stop.
Speaker 1: And I get halfway there and I kneel over to
Speaker 1: the side.
Speaker 2: I'm like I gotta take a break. I can't.
Speaker 1: So I thought that I was going to be the
Speaker 1: only woman on the bridge, and it was it was
Speaker 1: nothing but women going.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, Sidney's twenty seventeen. We got we
Speaker 2: got rights. Now we can rent bikes, we could cross bridges.
Speaker 2: I was like, y'all was just too cute to be
Speaker 2: on this bridge. Y'all ain't got no uber pool, no
Speaker 2: uber X, no lift, no go, no get. They're just
Speaker 2: trying to get their thig listen. They were just trying
Speaker 2: to get their thigh gap together for twenty seventeen. That's
Speaker 2: all I love. The like the women that were checking
Speaker 2: on me. The men didn't get it. They were like
Speaker 2: you dumb, you shouldn't be on here anyway.
Speaker 1: But the women were like you, okay, do you need
Speaker 1: some snacks like the bitch pull?
Speaker 2: I heard trails like you good, your your sugar's last
Speaker 2: because they've been where you've been before. You know what
Speaker 2: I mean, you got to start somewhere.
Speaker 3: Great.
Speaker 2: I don't have it within my you know, tone dance
Speaker 2: body to cross a bridge on a bike at night
Speaker 2: or in the daytime. But it felt good.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to keep doing this bike
Speaker 1: thing for the whole summer by wintertime, bitch, Serena Williams,
Speaker 1: Like my butt's already in a little bit bigger, you know.
Speaker 2: I mean I thought that was from all the food.
Speaker 3: You were.
Speaker 2: Something that's from all the backshot. Shut up? What were
Speaker 2: you in? An expert in this week? This week, I
Speaker 2: was an expert at never wearing the right thing. Like
Speaker 2: it just got super hot here. It's officially, I guess,
Speaker 2: summer in New York City, And you know, sometimes you
Speaker 2: want to throw on a little booty short and then
Speaker 2: go to a show and then realize, oh, this is
Speaker 2: like a professional ass show and I'm the only one
Speaker 2: with half of my laby out. So it was a
Speaker 2: lot of me like trying to like wrap things around
Speaker 2: my body so that people couldn't see the temple that
Speaker 2: is my body. And yesterday I put on a Maxi
Speaker 2: dress that looked like a long Taliban T shirt you
Speaker 2: know what I'm talking about, throwback two thousand and one
Speaker 2: shirts that like Nelly and them was wearing. I had
Speaker 2: a dress on that looked like that yesterday and it
Speaker 2: was like a cool seventy two degrees and the temperature
Speaker 2: dropped at night, and I thought I would have time
Speaker 2: to go home and get a jacket. Then no time,
Speaker 2: so I'm just just nips out on the street. Just
Speaker 2: in this night dress. I look like Ebnezer Screwge, you
Speaker 2: know how, like back in the day, like white dudes
Speaker 2: that have money you would wear like a nightgown and
Speaker 2: like a little hat a.
Speaker 3: Nightcam.
Speaker 2: That sounds like a Klamsman right there. Na, Yeah, but
Speaker 2: my dress was a snake print. I think with some
Speaker 2: I think one of the heads of the Klamsman had
Speaker 2: a snake frinst clan leader clean master General. I don't know, uh,
Speaker 2: but yeah, I just I was. I was never properly
Speaker 2: dressed if I was walking really far distances. I always
Speaker 2: don't like the flattest, most uncomfortable shoes. I just so
Speaker 2: I'm trying to do better next week. Because when you
Speaker 2: look at the weather in New York and your funnel
Speaker 2: say sixty six, and then you step outside and it
Speaker 2: feels like eighty two, like or sometimes it'll be like
Speaker 2: ninety degrees but feels like sixty nine, and you're like,
Speaker 2: what am I supposed to dress like what it feels
Speaker 2: like or what it is?
Speaker 1: Well, what you do is you have like you usually
Speaker 1: have you pack your bag for the day, so you
Speaker 1: have like a little sweater in there, a little giant
Speaker 1: But I've.
Speaker 2: Been trying to carry smaller bags, like a little like
Speaker 2: a cute a cute clutch, a day clutch. Listen, I
Speaker 2: don't I don't need any of it. I don't subscribe
Speaker 2: to like purses.
Speaker 1: I always have an overnight bag with me because you
Speaker 1: never know, you might get kicked out of your house.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean burn down. That's why I stay
Speaker 2: prepared for anything. Well, that's why you might get kicked out.
Speaker 2: That's why Adrian's the smartest person that you know. She like,
Speaker 2: I need some time, you need to yo, I got things.
Speaker 2: I got stuff for at least three days. Sindny has
Speaker 2: two toothbrushes in her I got to I'm not even
Speaker 2: to touthbrushes. I got to tooth brushes, one for the home,
Speaker 2: one for the club. Listen, let's get into this episode.
Speaker 2: He I mean, obviously we're the smartest people that you
Speaker 2: guys listening to know. But our guest today is a
Speaker 2: really funny comedian. He's done our show several times, and
Speaker 2: he's done well every time that he's done.
Speaker 3: The warm up.
Speaker 2: Uh, he is our gentrification expert. So you know it's
Speaker 2: gonna get real. Bill maher in here, we're gonna say
Speaker 2: nigga at least twelve times. Let's just say, let's just
Speaker 2: say it twelve times right now, to.
Speaker 3: Give it up.
Speaker 2: Give it up for our gentrification expert.
Speaker 3: Clid rack My, what's up? I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 3: This is great.
Speaker 2: Political say your name propably is it Colitteral?
Speaker 3: It rocked my hand, rock mount.
Speaker 2: Now we're currently in his home.
Speaker 4: Yes, he is crippled my falacial estate.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he gotta he gotta gotta.
Speaker 2: He got a pre war apartment. The ceilings are how
Speaker 2: tall you think these are? Thirteen feet?
Speaker 3: This is a twelve feet fifteen thirteen foot situation.
Speaker 1: Really, I don't care about your ceilings right now, let's
Speaker 1: talk about your feet.
Speaker 3: Now. My feet are fucked up. Let me. I have
Speaker 3: not applied any cocoa butter today.
Speaker 2: It looked like a great honor.
Speaker 3: We have diabetes. Leg might be getting Did you see
Speaker 3: Kevin Durant's feet, But that next year that's on my feet.
Speaker 4: Look, they are chopped up. Man, it's bad.
Speaker 2: Even the father to Kevin Durant, it's bad.
Speaker 4: It's really bad.
Speaker 2: You cut your toenails.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's been definitely before. Okay, well I reached my toeail.
Speaker 3: That's what this injury. What happened to your leg? I
Speaker 3: was walking along and I stepped in a hot hole
Speaker 3: on the sidewalk and I fell down. My knee hit
Speaker 3: the concrete, snapped my patell tendons. Wow, that's the big
Speaker 3: one in your knee. That's the a C. L. P.
Speaker 3: Potella is like the center holds your kneecap in place.
Speaker 2: That's the same injury that Rollins has.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: But he was playing basketball at a barbecue, a bitter.
Speaker 4: Like your son.
Speaker 3: I was in the streets and it was trying to
Speaker 3: take my chain and I was like, nah, now.
Speaker 1: You fell in a pothole because you probably were trying
Speaker 1: to holler at a white woman.
Speaker 3: Now because that's possible, but it's possible. I was just
Speaker 3: not paying attention. Man.
Speaker 4: I went down.
Speaker 3: It was embarrassing because, like you know, able body, like person.
Speaker 4: I was able body.
Speaker 3: Now I'm not as big as brak.
Speaker 2: You were walking down the street and to the biggest
Speaker 2: tendon in your that's sounds like the old person.
Speaker 3: You know what it is. I probably already had some
Speaker 3: tears in there. So when my knee hit the concrete boom,
Speaker 3: it was it.
Speaker 2: What kind of sneakers did you have on?
Speaker 3: I had on and just haven't paired Jordan's. Actually it
Speaker 3: was bad.
Speaker 2: It was you have step curries on.
Speaker 3: The air shuffle boards. The injury sounds really under armor.
Speaker 3: You had the new balances on what it sounds like.
Speaker 3: I had the air retirement homes on. That's crazy. It
Speaker 3: was bad.
Speaker 2: So now it's like when you hit the round, when
Speaker 2: you hit the ground, where were you in your neighbor?
Speaker 3: I was, here's the thing is good. I was in
Speaker 3: front of the museum.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 3: Somebody was like, oh, the museum is in charge of
Speaker 3: those sidewalks, so you best believe a lawsuit is currently proceeding.
Speaker 2: They were like a janitor's hurt right now.
Speaker 3: I was in front of the museum, walking by the
Speaker 3: sidewalk by Washington and so you you was get us
Speaker 3: on your way to meet So I was on my
Speaker 3: way to do some cat sitting, actually my dog walking
Speaker 3: cat sitting business.
Speaker 2: Yes see clip cats. My brother, what's going on? Gentrification
Speaker 2: got niggas?
Speaker 3: I was walking along my up.
Speaker 2: That's we gotta go.
Speaker 3: My yoga fant saw it, Yo, you can't to some
Speaker 3: cat sitting, and then I was gonna do some. It
Speaker 3: was bad. Wait what is cat sitting? Entail?
Speaker 2: Because cats don't need nobody, they're strong and depending feed.
Speaker 4: The cats, make sure they got water, sit on die.
Speaker 2: So you don't stay at the apartment. You just got
Speaker 2: by some hose over.
Speaker 3: I got over, scoop the little box and roll out. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's been how much how much they pay for that catsitting?
Speaker 3: Like eighteen dollars per per visit?
Speaker 2: Three times?
Speaker 4: I mean people go away for weeks at a time
Speaker 4: every day.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's cool. Listen, my friend who I will not name,
Speaker 2: has two cats.
Speaker 3: One's names Jelly.
Speaker 2: One's name's Jail, And she is this person who like
Speaker 2: she and her girlfriend be going to Detroit and they'd
Speaker 2: be like, well, we should see if Marie could watch
Speaker 2: the cats. But never have they offered me eighteen dollars
Speaker 2: per visit. I don't want to say who that friend is,
Speaker 2: but you know she knows who she is.
Speaker 1: First of no one would ever ask Marie to watch
Speaker 1: anybody's animals.
Speaker 2: She don't barely watch her fish.
Speaker 3: Right, you know what I mean? Like, listen, Motown is
Speaker 3: thriving in that motel. That's not thank you, Junior, because
Speaker 3: her other.
Speaker 2: The original.
Speaker 3: I wonder how that happened.
Speaker 2: I don't want to watch my cats. I'll come home.
Speaker 1: One of them is missing the missing a leg. The
Speaker 1: other knee is pucked up like you them cats a struggle.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie. It's been a struggle.
Speaker 2: So you are like you, you are crutches.
Speaker 3: I want some long purchase. Go too long on the
Speaker 3: crutches because my leg is all stretched out. So I'm
Speaker 3: just like pretty much at home.
Speaker 2: So wait you you are going to sue though, right,
Speaker 2: Oh I am. So you're gonna be there for a minute.
Speaker 3: Full lawyer. I'm gonna be I'm gonna be up.
Speaker 4: Hopefully I'll be up.
Speaker 3: And about my legs and back and doing stuff in August. August.
Speaker 3: My whole summer, I know, my whole summer is because
Speaker 3: this is a major injury.
Speaker 1: Well, it wasn't like was going to be in the
Speaker 1: beach or anything. He wasn't going to the Hampton's anyway.
Speaker 3: I got summer in East Williamsburg. That's where I summer.
Speaker 2: Cole it is somebody who looks like he got like
Speaker 2: a lot of others in his life and my others,
Speaker 2: I mean non black folks.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a lot of others.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's talk about your history with Beije the Beige variety.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about it was the first time you met
Speaker 2: a white person that you liked?
Speaker 3: Ready, what's funny? I have like a weird, weird history
Speaker 3: because like, I grew up in Crown Heights mostly, but
Speaker 3: my dad works for the State Department. So I also
Speaker 3: spent two years overseas in Morocco International School with French Montana,
Speaker 3: with French Montana. Never see you with no Moroccan chicks ever. Yeah, well,
Speaker 3: I mean I went to school where there my friends
Speaker 3: were from all other countries, and then I went to
Speaker 3: I went to private school here in Brooklyn High School
Speaker 3: about the accent and uh and what do you call it?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 3: In Park Slope, So I had That's when I first
Speaker 3: met a lot of like white kids and I had
Speaker 3: I grew up in this neighborhood, so it's mostly black
Speaker 3: back then, but that is changing. We will get to that.
Speaker 3: Your resume is very cute.
Speaker 1: I really appreciate your resume, but like, because you popped
Speaker 1: all around, I feel like maybe you're more acceptable to
Speaker 1: white people because you got yeah, culture and experience.
Speaker 3: Also you know what, Also it is is like, since
Speaker 3: I've dealt with white people in my whole life, I'm
Speaker 3: not like intimidated by them at all. I'm not I
Speaker 3: don'tstify them. I don't think this is.
Speaker 4: Either.
Speaker 3: But I'm saying there's people, though, who you meet who
Speaker 3: were like, uh, uncomfortable around anyone who's that's.
Speaker 2: Because we know that they'd be ready to kill like
Speaker 2: the biggest thugs in the world.
Speaker 3: Well there's this is a thing where your people were
Speaker 3: just comfortable with everybody. And I've just been around everybody
Speaker 3: in my whole life, and Morocco was really important actually
Speaker 3: because like my friends were from Malaysia, freaking my best
Speaker 3: friends from Malaysia, San Diego, France, and.
Speaker 4: San Diego, San Diego.
Speaker 3: That's my crew. I mean, I feel like when I think.
Speaker 2: In Morocco, I think of like everybody were like white linen.
Speaker 3: But we were all like military and diplomat kids at
Speaker 3: the school. So we have friends from Moroccan as well,
Speaker 3: but we all our school friends at the school or
Speaker 3: like military brad kids who moved around all the time,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 2: So you're just doing your thing. Yeah you were privileged. Yeah, regulars.
Speaker 4: But there's the thing.
Speaker 3: I had two lives because over there, I was privileged
Speaker 3: because Morocco thinks dirty. We had a maide and we
Speaker 3: had a maid and a gardener. Back in Brooklyn, my
Speaker 3: mom is just no class teachers that been thirty years.
Speaker 2: Middle class, like middle class, Saint Ship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we don't have no maid, no butler, we don't
Speaker 3: got no gardener.
Speaker 2: So most people in this country don't have that, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Like, but I grew up also, like when Crown Heights
Speaker 3: it was, it was hood. It was not like you
Speaker 3: know it was yeah, Crome Heights it was basically at
Speaker 3: the same time.
Speaker 1: So it's funny that you were saying that you you
Speaker 1: don't mystify white people. I grew up in Oakland, California,
Speaker 1: and I didn't have any white friends until I moved
Speaker 1: to New York City.
Speaker 2: I only had black and Cambodian friends. Cambodian like I
Speaker 2: have cambody younger, you change, man, what I haven't met
Speaker 2: any Cambodians here, but I that's all I knew in California.
Speaker 2: But when I moved to New York, I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is white people like I was never scared of them,
Speaker 2: but I also was like, why did it look like that,
Speaker 2: You've never you've never met at Cambonian Cambodian in New York,
Speaker 2: Like I met a girl with Cambodian virgin hair like me.
Speaker 2: It was a Cambodian weed, very silky. Yeah, but they
Speaker 2: were from it was from the Bronx, so it was
Speaker 2: definitely not from Cambodia. No, I'm not talking about you.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about somebody Cambodian. It was a black girl,
Speaker 2: and it was a you know, she paid eight hundred
Speaker 2: dollars for a week anyway, So I mean I grew
Speaker 2: up in a in the suburbs and I had like
Speaker 2: a mixed bag of white and black, and I watched
Speaker 2: television and I had hood kids on section name who
Speaker 2: lived across the street from me.
Speaker 3: I feel like I had like a good high school,
Speaker 3: the high school kids who like across the street from me,
Speaker 3: whose family on welfare, footable housing everything. And then kids
Speaker 3: at my at my what do you call private school
Speaker 3: in Brooklyn in Park Slope that were like had summer homes.
Speaker 4: They were like flying off to France and ship.
Speaker 3: So it was like a whole like.
Speaker 4: I had both experiences.
Speaker 3: It was weird. It was like a yeah, but in.
Speaker 2: Those experience, who had a cooler mom, the section night
Speaker 2: mom or exactly got.
Speaker 3: The people one let them drink juice. The white kids.
Speaker 3: The white kids I was friends with high school. They
Speaker 3: had rooms you couldn't go into in their house like this.
Speaker 2: Crazy what wasn't there? They like slave memorabil what sold
Speaker 2: the sambo playing cards. For some reason, I felt like
Speaker 2: the Jewish moms were the best moms. Like when I
Speaker 2: was in middle definitely made you ate. It was always
Speaker 2: always feeding me.
Speaker 1: My mother had brought me like one of those bootleg
Speaker 1: uh puff puffer jackets for the winter, but she smoked,
Speaker 1: so there was like cigarette uh holes.
Speaker 2: In it and everything, and so she burnt.
Speaker 3: She she took her on the north.
Speaker 2: It wasn't even it was a bear remember bear barely bear.
Speaker 3: Oh shut up.
Speaker 2: And my friend's mom bought me a new jacket and
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, she brought me and
Speaker 2: it was like a three hundred dollars jacket. I brought
Speaker 2: it home and my mother was like, if you don't
Speaker 2: take that damn jacket off and right back, you are embarrassing.
Speaker 3: I was like No, the jacket that I have is embarrassing.
Speaker 3: She would not take this woman's jacket.
Speaker 2: My mom, No one's ever bought me any like none
Speaker 2: of my friend's mom are over that cool or that
Speaker 2: that's pretty damn cool. That nice to me because you
Speaker 2: know they're side save the bullock.
Speaker 3: No, my mom would.
Speaker 2: My mom didn't even like when I borrowed my friend's stuff,
Speaker 2: Like I'd be like, oh, I borrowed Valerie shoes and
Speaker 2: my mom was like, my shoes here, take this off.
Speaker 1: My mom too, Ramona wasn't playing that shop. She was
Speaker 1: just like, we have our own things.
Speaker 2: Yes, you're in a night's school, but don't you're not
Speaker 2: gonna have people thinking we're poor. Yeah, And she wouldn't
Speaker 2: even let me spend the night.
Speaker 1: And then eventually we went to Fire Island because my
Speaker 1: friend owned her family had a house there and.
Speaker 2: We were on a bill and we're doing I was like,
Speaker 2: why can't I have this?
Speaker 3: And then somebody leaned in and was like, because.
Speaker 2: You're poor, Because you're quite poor.
Speaker 3: Click.
Speaker 2: Can we talk about how so you've been in Crown
Speaker 2: Heights except for those those years that you were in Morocco,
Speaker 2: you've been.
Speaker 3: Here that in like four years in college in Boston
Speaker 3: and I a little bit of two years after Cool,
Speaker 3: So I've spent maybe like eight of my year's total
Speaker 3: of my life outside of Brooklyn. So I've been here
Speaker 3: most of the year, most of it.
Speaker 2: So when you first, so, what's the biggest difference that
Speaker 2: you see in Brooklyn then versus Because I mean I
Speaker 2: see last saw smoke shop and I walk by.
Speaker 3: I mean a slide from just like white people getting
Speaker 3: off the stops that you never would imagine they'd ever
Speaker 3: get off of from the subway, and I mean just
Speaker 3: like the things that opening up are so crazy, like
Speaker 3: like you guys know, I have the show electrical laughs
Speaker 3: every month. Sydney's done the show. You're gonna do the
Speaker 3: show when I come back in the fall. And that
Speaker 3: place is a coworking space we work, right, it's kind
Speaker 3: of a similar thing. Yeah, but it costs four hundred
Speaker 3: dollars a month to work there. So like there's things
Speaker 3: that are specifically not for us. Where it's right down
Speaker 3: the street here in crowd nights, it's on front.
Speaker 2: Well, because when a couple of years ago, I heard
Speaker 2: this white lady, she was talking about her new apartment,
Speaker 2: and so I'm nosy.
Speaker 3: So I leaned in and I was like, where are
Speaker 3: you living? She was like Bedford Stuyvesant.
Speaker 2: I was like, you live in bedstyle. You she's this little, tiny,
Speaker 2: petite like like oblivious to She's one of these like
Speaker 2: I don't see color and like rolled up yellow matt
Speaker 2: white women. And she was like she lives in bed
Speaker 2: like the heart of bedsty and you know, fifteen years ago,
Speaker 2: twenty years ago, like they wouldn't even say.
Speaker 3: Yeah, my mom, my mom was she moved. My mom
Speaker 3: moved to North Carolina. She retired and moved on to
Speaker 3: North Carolina. Five years ago. I tell her about what's
Speaker 3: going on. She does not believe me. She literally she's like,
Speaker 3: it is no Starbucks on Eastern Parkway. Yes, that was
Speaker 3: a house that was literally a crackhouse allowed to go
Speaker 3: past Bedford was.
Speaker 2: So now it's a crackhouse for white people Starbucks.
Speaker 1: But that's the thing, Like white people will turn a
Speaker 1: crackhouse into a coffee shop, like that's what they do,
Speaker 1: or bull turner.
Speaker 2: Crackhouse into an open mic or doing comedy in the crackhouse,
Speaker 2: or don't turn a crackhouse into a boutique shop called
Speaker 2: the crackhouse.
Speaker 1: That is true, ironically exactly, there's white people going to
Speaker 1: Narsty now, Nursey, Listen.
Speaker 2: I don't even think about black ass.
Speaker 3: I would never A crazy turning point for me was
Speaker 3: seeing people in Brownsville because I always associated Brownsville with
Speaker 3: like just the roughness of the rough Like I didn't
Speaker 3: go to browns when I was a kid. I still
Speaker 3: don't go to browns From like these white folks moved
Speaker 3: into Brownsville like it is no thing, that's the new
Speaker 3: hot I think that's the thing.
Speaker 2: You need to repeat that again. Mike Tyson is from.
Speaker 3: Used to knock old ladies over the head and take
Speaker 3: their purse in browns There are.
Speaker 2: White people in that neighborhood now like they live listen, listen.
Speaker 2: They're in East New York, which is like really like
Speaker 2: that's like whoo, who's from East New York? Rock him?
Speaker 3: It's like people like that, like East New York. East
Speaker 3: New York is like almost gone, Like that's rises, yeah,
Speaker 3: what if.
Speaker 2: Dusty ass high? Right, They're like these used to be
Speaker 2: the projects and now they're the project pavilion. You can
Speaker 2: live here for just ten thousand dollars a month for
Speaker 2: this studio apartment, Clid crazy. I wanted to ask you.
Speaker 1: I feel like, even though you're you know, you date
Speaker 1: white women, you you're friends with them, how does it
Speaker 1: feel to like see the gentrification like happen literally every day?
Speaker 4: I mean it's it's it's baffling.
Speaker 2: Because you'll be bringing them in you, they be bringing you, be.
Speaker 3: Bringing them introd neighborhood. You move in, and yet I
Speaker 3: haven't just by my own ship yeh, yes you did.
Speaker 3: I haven't moved in here, and yet I haven't moved
Speaker 3: in with anybody. It's I mean, you.
Speaker 2: Gotta think about us.
Speaker 3: It's been years now, It's been like fifteen years.
Speaker 4: Of this now, so this is not a new phenomenon.
Speaker 2: So I'm not like, no, Clid, but you got to
Speaker 2: think about your responsibility here. You introduce, you bring them,
Speaker 2: you invited them to your house, and then they get
Speaker 2: off the train and they're like, oh I always felt
Speaker 2: Crown Lights was dand is it's just super cute. Then
Speaker 2: when their friends are looking for an apartment, they'd be like, beckay,
Speaker 2: that's exactly what you've been.
Speaker 3: Doing it for fifteen years. Could it's soving it out,
Speaker 3: it's oving it out the case I fucked.
Speaker 1: Up my neighborhood because I lived in Harlem and I
Speaker 1: was on one twenty seven in Madison and a nice brownstone.
Speaker 1: That was like ten years ago when you had a
Speaker 1: brownstone and people like you live in a brownstone. Now
Speaker 1: everybody live in a brownstone. But I my roommate was white.
Speaker 1: She moved in, I left, she's there. Then another friend
Speaker 1: of mine lives them seriously, So now the whole building
Speaker 1: is white.
Speaker 2: It's two people that's white. The whole building is white now.
Speaker 1: And so now there's a freaking whole Foods on one
Speaker 1: hundred and twenty fifth Street.
Speaker 2: They took uh what was that?
Speaker 3: So? Is that south so hot? It's taking soup. That's crazy.
Speaker 2: They're shutting down the Sea Town and the Key Food.
Speaker 2: They're shutting down the seatown for a whole food. Yes, girl,
Speaker 2: where people get their guava from? Where they gonna get
Speaker 2: there Goya? There's no Goya sections in the.
Speaker 4: Water with coconuts in it.
Speaker 2: Eight pounds of sugar, way floating sugar coconut water. That's crazy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean literally, there's like the gap. There's everything
Speaker 1: on one twenty fifth Street that I didn't even think.
Speaker 3: Well, they're crazy to see. There's like just like little
Speaker 3: changes that people don't notice. Though, Like I was writing
Speaker 3: about this, like one thing I've noticed that police officers
Speaker 3: smile at residents. That's something I've never seen before. Like this,
Speaker 3: walking down the street, I just saw cops just smiling
Speaker 3: at people.
Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever seen a COPSI yeah.
Speaker 3: I've never seen cops smiling at residents. Mostly white residents
Speaker 3: are smiling at but they are smiling at people who
Speaker 3: live in the neighborhood. And that's something I've just never accustomed.
Speaker 3: You just mean mug cops, They mean muggy. You mean
Speaker 3: them in the NY smile. Listen, smiling police.
Speaker 2: I've never seen a cop smile. But I did see
Speaker 2: here a cop laugh at me.
Speaker 3: Once. I was going down the street and like you,
Speaker 3: I tripped.
Speaker 2: On a pothole or a large crack on the sidewalk
Speaker 2: and I wasn't trying to break my mother's back, so
Speaker 2: I tripped and then I heard somebody go ah, look,
Speaker 2: and it was a cop the street laughing at me,
Speaker 2: and I was protection sir, and he was like, hell,
Speaker 2: you gotta watch that curb. That was the whole interaction.
Speaker 3: I don't know he smiled.
Speaker 2: Though, So you've been in this neighborhood that long things
Speaker 2: have been changing. How has your building changed?
Speaker 3: Yea, let's talk about that. It's weird. So so you'll
Speaker 3: see notes notes in the hallway, note passive aggressive notes.
Speaker 3: That's the thing they I've never seen before. It's one
Speaker 3: lady posted like if you must smoke in the common area,
Speaker 3: you know, use it astray, like just like stuff that
Speaker 3: you wouldn't see what is a common area? Yeah, but
Speaker 3: then also like, but it's funny. My building is still
Speaker 3: pretty much mostly black. There's some white people moving in,
Speaker 3: but the white people are definitely, for the most part,
Speaker 3: solely adjusting. Like the music is definitely louder than folks
Speaker 3: are moving in accustomed to. So you get something like
Speaker 3: battles with that. But I think people just kind of realize,
Speaker 3: like this buildings the how it's gonna be, and I'm
Speaker 3: just going to fit into it.
Speaker 2: It's New York City though. The fact that people move
Speaker 2: to New York City and they want peace and quiet,
Speaker 2: you're not. You're not.
Speaker 1: There's there's there's the train, there's ambulance, there's the police,
Speaker 1: there's the hood.
Speaker 2: There is there's no way you can get peace and
Speaker 2: unless banish people listening to their bot there's the black
Speaker 2: people listening to their whatever reggae song they have on
Speaker 2: repeat in my building. It's changing so fast that I
Speaker 2: heard somebody blessing ed sheeran. Wow, Wow, what hours the
Speaker 2: same song over and over again.
Speaker 3: Alady come to the door, turn that goddamned.
Speaker 2: They feel about the new album, just like like on repeat.
Speaker 3: Super did see something amazing last summer though. There's a
Speaker 3: new white girl moving upstairs and was just downstairs in
Speaker 3: the stairs all smoking weed with the hood dudes. It
Speaker 3: was great.
Speaker 4: I was like, this is people coming together.
Speaker 3: Just because I was I assume that people who move
Speaker 3: in will complain about like the hoodishness of the building,
Speaker 3: like you know, people playing like all went along and
Speaker 3: downstairs we got people in the lobby playing suit and dice,
Speaker 3: playing dominoes.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, like this building is like lean on it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, deaden the streets so all some of people barbecue
Speaker 3: on the sidewalk.
Speaker 2: Well that's they're barbecuing on the sidewalk. But you know what,
Speaker 2: they're shutting down block parties. There used to be ten.
Speaker 1: Years ago, there used to be block parties in Brooklyn
Speaker 1: and Harlem. They're shutting it down, and it's so sad
Speaker 1: because block parties actually bring the block together. Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not really gonna eat your mac and cheese from
Speaker 1: two doors down, but.
Speaker 2: At least it's out there. At least you made enough
Speaker 2: enough trade for everybody. At least we know you tried it. Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 2: it looks disgusting.
Speaker 3: But it's also a thing where like you got you
Speaker 3: judge people who come into the neighborhood by how they
Speaker 3: come into the neighborhood.
Speaker 4: So I saw it the Mike Cannon, you guys know.
Speaker 3: Mike cannoned off this another comic Mike move, you know,
Speaker 3: the comic hen move into my old block, an them
Speaker 3: phosphate place, and like he was one of the first
Speaker 3: like white people to live there. And he's like, you know,
Speaker 3: I knew I was coming to this thing, and people
Speaker 3: view me as like this invader. So he made a
Speaker 3: point of only like supporting black owned businesses. He made
Speaker 3: a point of like only like going to places where
Speaker 3: like he was going to be viewed as someone who
Speaker 3: was like contributing something and not just someone who just
Speaker 3: like because this white people moving to a neighborhood and
Speaker 3: they only go to like the new white places, and
Speaker 3: that is like not that's not not viewed in positive but.
Speaker 1: It's also a double edge sword with it because sometimes
Speaker 1: when white people are too into like the black owned
Speaker 1: businesses and they only have black friends, it's like, are
Speaker 1: you making this trendy because you weren't doing that before?
Speaker 1: Like are you You're going out of your way? I
Speaker 1: like when people are just natural about it, like you
Speaker 1: don't have to but just be conscious of what you're doing.
Speaker 3: Absolutely. It's it's crazy though, because you have to kind
Speaker 3: of be intentional in some way about these things, because yeah,
Speaker 3: if you just a person's a lot of times a
Speaker 3: person's natural instinct is just like go with people who
Speaker 3: are just like them, and that's how you end up
Speaker 3: with the neighborhood. Yeah, but if you move into.
Speaker 2: A neighborhood white, Yes, But Williamsburg didn't start out like
Speaker 2: Williamsburg to me, like because I've seen it change. So Williamsburg,
Speaker 2: for those of you who are listening who have never
Speaker 2: been to New York, is more expensive than parts of
Speaker 2: Manhattan now when it was more No, it used to
Speaker 2: be like it used to be where poor artists who
Speaker 2: couldn't afford to live in the city live and you
Speaker 2: you'd live in like an old warehouse that is now
Speaker 2: like a like a whatever. Now, like I walk every
Speaker 2: time I go to Willisburg, it's completely different than the
Speaker 2: last time I was there. There's an apple.
Speaker 4: Store, yes, opening another one.
Speaker 2: It's only two apple that's insane.
Speaker 1: All the bars that were there ten years ago, Like
Speaker 1: there was a place called Salis.
Speaker 2: That I would go there, It's they're all gone.
Speaker 3: I always go to Spike Hill right next to the
Speaker 3: Bedford station, and I was like, well, see that's what
Speaker 3: they do is.
Speaker 2: And this is People listening to this are like, why
Speaker 2: are you guys complaining Mantwaan people, we bring apple stores
Speaker 2: to your neighborhood.
Speaker 3: This is why we're complaining.
Speaker 2: Because y'all move in, and then your friends move in,
Speaker 2: and then they raise everybody's rent who's already been there
Speaker 2: for years. But then they raised the rent of the
Speaker 2: businesses that have been there, so no one can afford
Speaker 2: to be there except y'all.
Speaker 4: Well, then the whole cultural identity the place has changed.
Speaker 3: Exactly.
Speaker 2: It's that they moved there in the first place because
Speaker 2: it was cheap. Exactly.
Speaker 1: Now it's not cheap anywhere so you're actually doing a
Speaker 1: disservice to what you actually wanted to do.
Speaker 3: That was also one of the things where it's to
Speaker 3: the point now where're several generations into gentrification. So yeah,
Speaker 3: a lot of white people who were mad about it.
Speaker 3: They're like, I was here and now I'm priced and
Speaker 3: drop back that ass up.
Speaker 2: I'm here for.
Speaker 1: Two thousand.
Speaker 3: Coffee shop was a yoga studio and now so that's
Speaker 3: all you know that it's a mayonnaise store.
Speaker 2: It's sad for me because of the playgrounds. I'm more
Speaker 2: upset about the outside and then you, uh, you still.
Speaker 3: Go to playground.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about for the kids.
Speaker 3: I mean, anybody, anybody in here got no damn q growing.
Speaker 2: Up in Harlem, like being in just being on the bench,
Speaker 2: being on porches, being on stoop. That was New York
Speaker 2: and now you can't do It's called lottery.
Speaker 4: No, it'stering there.
Speaker 2: There was no.
Speaker 4: Thing, yes, sitting in this communicating with people, communicating.
Speaker 3: Yo, this is like like Brooklyn is a Spike Lee movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah again, well Spike had this whole thing with his dad.
Speaker 3: His dad had like a big, like decades long battle
Speaker 3: with their new neighbors who were mad about the music.
Speaker 3: Fort Green, they had a whole whole house, a whole
Speaker 3: brownstone where people just played music all day, the musicians.
Speaker 3: And then these new people move in. They were like, Nah,
Speaker 3: this gotta go down.
Speaker 2: That's what my problem is is you move into my
Speaker 2: neighborhood where we've been doing we've been we've been playing
Speaker 2: music loud when every day that we clean, we play
Speaker 2: music loud. Every time that we're happy, we play music loud.
Speaker 3: Every time something.
Speaker 2: He breaks up with us, we playing musical live. Somebody
Speaker 2: gives you some good dick.
Speaker 3: You play musicud.
Speaker 2: Even a white person moves in with a child in
Speaker 2: one of them double wade strollers and then they're like,
Speaker 2: excuse me, I have I have a baby.
Speaker 3: You need to turn it down.
Speaker 2: And it's like, no, I have been playing music before
Speaker 2: the baby, like before you met your man, I've been
Speaker 2: playing this music and you complaining about noise complaints. And
Speaker 2: the problem is is that when gentrification happens.
Speaker 1: People call the cops more before people would never call
Speaker 1: the cops.
Speaker 2: So like, we don't handle it the way we're gonna
Speaker 2: handle it. And I'm gonna go up there, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: smack thee I'm not the ceiling with a boom, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean, like the and they.
Speaker 1: Don't understand that some of us don't have the same
Speaker 1: relationship with police as you do.
Speaker 2: Like you that you think that they're protecting you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're protecting you. They're not protecting everybody. Let me
Speaker 1: tell you what happens. So I have a white roommate.
Speaker 1: She's a craiglist. Find that's just what it is.
Speaker 2: So one day she had like a tender a tinder
Speaker 2: boot come into the house and she, uh the I
Speaker 2: have a downstairs neighbor who's like real loud. He like
Speaker 2: this angry crazy leski, this Spanish dude, and he was
Speaker 2: down there yelling at his girlfriend or his baby mother
Speaker 2: or whatever. I couldn't hear him yelling. My roommate is like,
Speaker 2: he's so loud, do you hear that.
Speaker 3: I go into her room and she.
Speaker 2: Has her ear like on a cook on the floor,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, if that's why you can hear it
Speaker 2: so clear because you listening. And she was like, she's like,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna call the cops. And I was like, oh girl,
Speaker 2: She was like, should we call the cops? I said,
Speaker 2: we ain't calling nobody I said, if you're gonna call him,
Speaker 2: make sure you don't say what apartment you call him from.
Speaker 2: She calls the cops, right, and then I hear her
Speaker 2: say apartment three A, and I was like, I was say, yo,
Speaker 2: you couldn't say any other letter or any other number
Speaker 2: of all the letters and all the numbers in the world.
Speaker 2: You put the actual one ones that are on my
Speaker 2: door on the phone. So then she calls the cops
Speaker 2: and her company comes over. So, you know, basic guess
Speaker 2: white man. He had on sandals, he was reading outside whatever,
Speaker 2: and we look out the window and like swarms of
Speaker 2: cops are running into the building and I'm like, they
Speaker 2: all this for you who just called? And they were
Speaker 2: actually running upstairs to the people above us somebody wh's
Speaker 2: trying to kill themselves something I don't know whatever, But
Speaker 2: we were, you know, we live in a building where
Speaker 2: people are really nosy. So we were all in the
Speaker 2: doorway like looking and listening, and the man downstairs came
Speaker 2: up and he was like, oh, yeah, just called the
Speaker 2: cops on me too, didn't you. And he's like yelling
Speaker 2: at us, and I'm looking at him like, dude, I've
Speaker 2: never dialed nine one one in my life. I don't
Speaker 2: even know the number to nine one one.
Speaker 3: But I would never.
Speaker 2: But now he got a problem with me because he
Speaker 2: thinks I did it. And she's like she comes out
Speaker 2: and she's like, well what happened? And then why are
Speaker 2: they yelling? She's like super oblivious to what she did.
Speaker 2: And now he got a problem with me.
Speaker 3: The person is that's the see that is the most
Speaker 3: that is one of the most dangerous kinds of white people.
Speaker 3: Who doesn't realize that, like the police escalate things to
Speaker 3: their away with black people, so like calling the cops
Speaker 3: should be like the last resort. Like I've I've I
Speaker 3: mean most of it. I think most of the black
Speaker 3: people I know, I'm all like this. I've never called
Speaker 3: for any reason ever, which is crazy. But I was
Speaker 3: grouping in a bad neighborhood. It just never occurred to
Speaker 3: me like to do that.
Speaker 2: Called the cops once one time on a family member
Speaker 2: on a family she she she threw a tray table
Speaker 2: at me. I said, yeah, we're not gonna do this
Speaker 2: like it hit me. It almost hit me in my eye,
Speaker 2: and I was like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you got to go.
Speaker 2: Well, that's what's the backstory here? Why what did you
Speaker 2: do to get a trade table thrown at you. You
Speaker 2: know what, See you're not as you should be more
Speaker 2: supportive and be like, no, what happened?
Speaker 1: I didn't do any question that. I just asked what
Speaker 1: did you do? I didn't do anything. A relative was dying.
Speaker 1: You know, when somebody dies, people start arguing over stuff like.
Speaker 2: Well, that's I want that brooch?
Speaker 3: Like crazy.
Speaker 1: So no, we were just going back and forth and
Speaker 1: then it just escalated and she started arguing and then
Speaker 1: she threw a trade table at me.
Speaker 2: I said, yeah, you're gonna go. We got you gotta
Speaker 2: get out, Like, so, how many people were in the house?
Speaker 2: It was about seven.
Speaker 1: First of all, it's like a one bedroom apartment, like
Speaker 1: it shouldn't have been eight people there.
Speaker 2: It was eight people sleeping there staying.
Speaker 3: It was messy. You sound real Dominican.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it felt real. It felt like bitty bitty Bama.
Speaker 2: It was really terrible. And she tore a trade table
Speaker 2: at me, and I have to call the cops. But
Speaker 2: then when the cops came here, like so, do you want.
Speaker 3: To take her?
Speaker 2: And I was like no, I couldn't send you what girl?
Speaker 2: I mean, you could listen, you gotta get that story
Speaker 2: to yourself. You didn't need to show that, because what's
Speaker 2: the craziest thing that you saw in your neighborhood grown up? Like,
Speaker 2: what's the craziest, like the most the most nino brownish
Speaker 2: moment of I mean just.
Speaker 3: You know, outside of the standard like open air drug dealing,
Speaker 3: just like in the middle of the day type stuff.
Speaker 3: Seeing the cops handcuffs and body and beat them up
Speaker 3: and then let them go, give them to give them
Speaker 3: a choice of like wall can either like give you
Speaker 3: a beaten or like arrest you. And they're like, well.
Speaker 2: At the park, would you if you were giving the
Speaker 2: choice beat me up or arrest me?
Speaker 3: What would you go?
Speaker 4: Wilding?
Speaker 3: Back? Then?
Speaker 2: Man, do I really want to go to jail? No,
Speaker 2: but you want to get your I don't want my
Speaker 2: fam'ly like, yo, fuck me up from the knees down
Speaker 2: my feet look terrible anyway, just stump them out. Just
Speaker 2: don't touch my face.
Speaker 1: Just in the butt or my bob, my boobs, my face.
Speaker 1: I need that, but you could just everything else fuck
Speaker 1: that up. Okay, So, now, what's the craziest thing.
Speaker 2: That you've seen in your neighborhood recently?
Speaker 4: I mean I saw a dude on a tall bike.
Speaker 3: That are like on top of each other and like
Speaker 3: you have to basically roll up next to like a
Speaker 3: lighthole to stop because you're so high off the ground.
Speaker 4: Like a dude, Like, how do you do that?
Speaker 2: Like a circus act? Like a bike on stilts?
Speaker 3: Yeah, a tall bike and this bike is like double
Speaker 3: the height of a record bike bike frames well with
Speaker 3: the if she's.
Speaker 2: Thrown a rock between the smooth I saw a white
Speaker 2: guy on a unit, like a big unit cycle and
Speaker 2: he had to fitted on a y fitted on. I said, blasphemy,
Speaker 2: that is not He was probably listening to migos with
Speaker 2: terrible you know, he had corn rolls.
Speaker 3: It was awful. And I saw a dude with the cape,
Speaker 3: with the cape he walking, He was walking down Bedford Avenue.
Speaker 3: He was a white dude with the cape. He wasn't
Speaker 3: even on like a hoverboard or not. Harry Potter is
Speaker 3: walking down the street. You know that is crazy.
Speaker 4: That's like within the normal realm.
Speaker 1: Now, Colid, you you upset about the gentrification, But what's
Speaker 1: about what about the gentrification.
Speaker 2: That's going on in your pants? Like you you jake
Speaker 2: a lot. I see you. You you took on these
Speaker 2: dates with the white ladies bagging. Hold on, hold on,
Speaker 2: I won't fit too. I want to fit this West
Speaker 2: Indian spot, this little little little jerk chicken and plantings.
Speaker 2: I've done died to collide with a white woman with
Speaker 2: a blonde bang and he was child. I was like,
Speaker 2: what in the world.
Speaker 3: I was like, Cam, yeah, so were you were on
Speaker 3: a date with was? I was not on a date.
Speaker 2: That's how that's my benefactor.
Speaker 3: I did not blame him.
Speaker 1: He wanted to date.
Speaker 2: He this is a white man who feeds me, So
Speaker 2: we go to different restaurants, so that he and I
Speaker 2: was sitting there and I was like, I know he
Speaker 2: could come on the date too, but I was like,
Speaker 2: I can't believe he's on a date with a white
Speaker 2: woman in here cold.
Speaker 3: I'm open please any lady who will have me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but what's the.
Speaker 3: Black woman's last on a date with a black woman?
Speaker 3: Last year? Actually, yeah, that's a damn black Look at
Speaker 3: my eyes.
Speaker 2: Sidney cut his feet open in the counter. Rings are
Speaker 2: black like black like me? Or like black like Zoey Kravitz,
Speaker 2: Like what what kind of black man?
Speaker 4: She was all the way black?
Speaker 3: But she was definitely black, or like Zoe Kravits, Oh gosh,
Speaker 3: both of her parents.
Speaker 2: She he eats kale on the right, she has kale
Speaker 2: chips and mango.
Speaker 3: The toe bags.
Speaker 2: She had toy bird birch handles on She came to
Speaker 2: pick you up on a tall ass bike.
Speaker 1: You said you're open to it, but like, come on, dude,
Speaker 1: I don't see no variety in your women.
Speaker 2: It'd be the same type of the same veggie veggie stick.
Speaker 3: Yes, I don't know. You was keeping spreadsheet and always watching.
Speaker 2: I will walking to a plate and I'll be like,
Speaker 2: is that motherfucking collid You be in the corner that
Speaker 2: don't have no lights on night, it'd be dark, it
Speaker 2: would be the darkest part of the bar. And I'm like,
Speaker 2: it's Kali, the.
Speaker 3: Girl I bought some performed show. The first yeah I've
Speaker 3: seen it was was Egyptians.
Speaker 2: She looked real mailer Egyptian.
Speaker 3: Yeah, call me a clear pat in Africa. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So where do you find these women besides being in
Speaker 1: your neighborhood.
Speaker 3: You wanna find them online with everybody else. Wonds and
Speaker 3: some people. One let people know.
Speaker 2: That he's crippled as fuck, but he's getting his He
Speaker 2: absolutely he got he got shorty slided in here regularly
Speaker 2: with that broken He's putting the broken leg to the side,
Speaker 2: and he's like, you're gonna get this work.
Speaker 3: Just handy capable. Your man is handy capable. Okay, okay, aside,
Speaker 3: I can't leave this apartment, doesn't mean I can.
Speaker 2: You perpetuate like the cycle is so real. You your
Speaker 2: leg broken, You got the white q You're breaking their back.
Speaker 1: They saw.
Speaker 2: That's why they even they stand in this neighborhood because
Speaker 2: you break their backs. They can't go that far.
Speaker 1: And you know what Clid said, He's like, well, a
Speaker 1: black woman wouldn't want a handicap.
Speaker 2: So that's what it is.
Speaker 3: Like, I'm trying to get this white woman taking I'm
Speaker 3: not a white woman.
Speaker 4: Hopefully they will teach me how to swim.
Speaker 3: Shut them. Get a black woman, let's teach her how
Speaker 3: to swim.
Speaker 4: Let me tell you, everybody's gonna be swimming.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. Amina Amani, who was our
Speaker 2: frugal expert a couple of episodes ago, she went to
Speaker 2: Howard University on a full swim scholarship. So she's a
Speaker 2: black woman. She's a black queen who can teach you
Speaker 2: how to swim.
Speaker 3: And are trying to put up with my ass?
Speaker 2: Well no not probably not, but she is somebody who
Speaker 2: can help you learn how to swim.
Speaker 1: I want to challenge you and I want you to
Speaker 1: your next tendre date to be a black woman.
Speaker 2: I really do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want you to go out. Thing is though,
Speaker 3: I'm one of those people like I just if I'm
Speaker 3: gonna tender, I'm just swiping on theod looking people.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: So now number somber want to take? What the number
Speaker 3: of connections I get with black woman is not many?
Speaker 3: Because what your photo look like? Your photo look like
Speaker 3: my photo? Me whip and the dog. The dog that
Speaker 3: we have here is our dog is like the main
Speaker 3: star of the photo. It's just as you know why
Speaker 3: women like dogs? You know what?
Speaker 2: What trap you baiting? Listen, put a fitted on and get.
Speaker 3: On a toll bike.
Speaker 2: You go.
Speaker 3: You gonna get everybody.
Speaker 2: You gonna get Asians, you don't get Dominicans. You're gonna
Speaker 2: get somebody Peruvian. You will get everybody's way. When's the
Speaker 2: last time you were on a dab with an Asian woman?
Speaker 3: Do you date them? Oh?
Speaker 4: Man, I don't think that's I don't recall, don't.
Speaker 2: Recall Jeff Sessions.
Speaker 3: That's right hand, I do not recall next you.
Speaker 1: Open to everybody, But it don't sound like it's sounding
Speaker 1: like you real exclusive.
Speaker 3: I mean I'm trying.
Speaker 2: No, you're not literally not trying to tell me what
Speaker 2: it is you gotta doing.
Speaker 3: You're doing what you're doing, and you're thriving right now.
Speaker 2: When's the last time you've been on a date with
Speaker 2: a Vietnamese woman?
Speaker 3: I mean, you're trying to make me the United Nations.
Speaker 2: Your dad works for a state department. You had a
Speaker 2: friend from San Diego.
Speaker 3: Come on, now, I have a friend from Malaysia. I
Speaker 3: rode in a bulletproof limousine.
Speaker 4: When I was nine.
Speaker 3: That's a bulletproof, right.
Speaker 2: What he's trying, He's trying to stay alive. If I
Speaker 2: date this Tiffany with three eyes, then when our baby
Speaker 2: comes out, Tate Dick's color, Dick's baby color, then I
Speaker 2: know that won't shoot. So what what advice do you
Speaker 2: have for people who are maybe being edged out of
Speaker 2: their neighborhood as a gentrification?
Speaker 3: I mean I started, I start my rent was going
Speaker 3: to go up at my old place, and eventually it
Speaker 3: didn't just go up. They sold, They sold our whole.
Speaker 3: Our landlord sold our apartment, so we moved. I started
Speaker 3: getting desperate and looking at like crazy situations. I was like,
Speaker 3: can I live in a fancy fixed up band? Can
Speaker 3: I live? Can I live on a march? I was like,
Speaker 3: look and crazy crazy things. But I think the main
Speaker 3: thing is just like know your know your rights in
Speaker 3: terms of your tenants. Rights are very strong in New
Speaker 3: York City. And it's also very hard to evict someone.
Speaker 3: Because my stepfather used to own buildings. It's quite a
Speaker 3: hard time. People like if you were in a place,
Speaker 3: it's hard to get you out. So know your rights.
Speaker 3: And also just man, I guess pray, you're gonna need prayer.
Speaker 3: This justification is it's not going nowhere. But it's also
Speaker 3: it's all over the country though, like places like Austin
Speaker 3: or like the New Williamsburg and like, but also like
Speaker 3: also make sure to be involved in your in your buildings,
Speaker 3: like your board.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of like and I don't even know
Speaker 2: if my building got a board.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of tendants to know, there's a lot
Speaker 3: of tennants groups they get together, like down the street
Speaker 3: they were gonna raise the ring crazy amount. If this
Speaker 3: complex over on Prospect and they fought it and won.
Speaker 3: They got they got their rent to stay the same
Speaker 3: for the last two years in a row because they
Speaker 3: just organized and got together and have the media and
Speaker 3: black people. It's black people in that building or building.
Speaker 2: So the white people helped the black folks, but black
Speaker 2: the black people were just angry and like leaving the
Speaker 2: trash in front.
Speaker 3: Of the Definitely, they organize and fight it because some
Speaker 3: people just assume it's gonna happen no matter what, and
Speaker 3: they just like giving. But if you fight it, you
Speaker 3: can definitely have a chance to win. Wow, Sidney, you
Speaker 3: believe that. You believe in fighting with the board.
Speaker 4: I've seen people fight these races and have it work
Speaker 4: out for them.
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like even like, like all the neighborhoods
Speaker 2: in Brookline are changing so much like Sydney's.
Speaker 3: Like when I go to.
Speaker 2: Bushwick and I see people like complaining about So I
Speaker 2: was at a bar for a show last week and
Speaker 2: we're all outside being loud and black.
Speaker 3: That's what we do.
Speaker 2: It was I don't know, maybe midnight, twelve thirty something
Speaker 2: like that. But what day was it, I don't know,
Speaker 2: like a Wednesday. Wednesday, and this white woman. We turn
Speaker 2: around and she just appears and we're like just she
Speaker 2: was standing so close to us, and she was like,
Speaker 2: there are two women trying to sleep across the street.
Speaker 2: Can you please keep it down? And we were like,
Speaker 2: you y'all live across from a bar in Bushwick. Bushwick
Speaker 2: that used to be nothing but like loud Spanish folks
Speaker 2: and louder Black folks.
Speaker 3: And somebody got shot down.
Speaker 2: The street from where I was talking to two days before.
Speaker 2: We were there, so I got it. And it's like,
Speaker 2: did you go up to the person shooting?
Speaker 3: Excuse me?
Speaker 2: We're trying to do this leap to hit the bullets down.
Speaker 3: Not even can you please use your silencer? Good sir,
Speaker 3: good day? Like that's crazy.
Speaker 2: All these neighborhoods have changed so freaking much.
Speaker 3: I am baffled.
Speaker 2: But then they changed the names of the neighborhood too,
Speaker 2: like they're like, this.
Speaker 4: Is not that in this neighborhood.
Speaker 3: I went outside, there was I heard someone talking about
Speaker 3: pro Crow, Prospect Crown Heights. Pro Crow. I'm so happy.
Speaker 4: Pro Crow.
Speaker 2: Oh well no, well, you know, like so Bedside is
Speaker 2: a huge neighborhood. Crown Heights huge neighborhood, Flatbush, probably one
Speaker 2: of the biggest neighborhoods in Brooklyn, and they cut that up.
Speaker 2: It's like Prospect Lefforts Gardens and Prospect Park South.
Speaker 3: And it's like this realtor is trying to get a
Speaker 3: little extra money. I'm saying, you live in this new
Speaker 3: fancy neighborhood. It's not the same as it was before,
Speaker 3: and it's it is.
Speaker 2: You just got a new pizza shop, you got a
Speaker 2: new vape shop, hooka bar, it's the same.
Speaker 3: The bape shop is the fourth the fourth horseman of
Speaker 3: the gentrification apocalypse.
Speaker 2: That is wild.
Speaker 3: All right, well, I think, Cidy, do you have any
Speaker 3: questions for him?
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, we're gonna give you eight. We're gonna give
Speaker 2: you a quick quiz to see if you really are
Speaker 2: our gentrification expert. Are you ready for this?
Speaker 3: Ready? Okay, Sydney, go ahead?
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So the price of a bodega tomato was originally twenty
Speaker 1: cents because of gentrification.
Speaker 3: How much is it now? Oh, it's about three dollars.
Speaker 4: You got a cold unfold your money.
Speaker 3: You got an unfold your money.
Speaker 4: You got unfolds of money today.
Speaker 3: Digging the bottom of that bag.
Speaker 2: But it is so real, and it's and it's a
Speaker 2: full three dollars.
Speaker 1: It's not like two dollars in ninety nine smaller.
Speaker 2: It's a cherry tomato r that is so crazy. Okay,
Speaker 2: so here's my question to you. Uh, twenty years ago,
Speaker 2: you live on the second floor. You like yourself out
Speaker 2: of your apartment. How do you get into your apartment?
Speaker 3: Twenty years ago, I'm probably calming through somebodies.
Speaker 2: But now, twenty seventeen, you live on the second floor.
Speaker 2: You you don't have your key on you. How do
Speaker 2: you get into your apartment?
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm accepting that I'm not getting in at all.
Speaker 3: And I'm also gonna says a silent prayer. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: answers my prayers.
Speaker 2: Because they're gonna go. Like, there's a black man out
Speaker 2: here loitering, he bring he wearing these fake glass and
Speaker 2: I've done. Did you have another question?
Speaker 3: Yes, So.
Speaker 1: Someone robs you in your neighborhood twenty years ago, you
Speaker 1: don't call the cops.
Speaker 3: No, I'm calling Rodney. Your people call hit Negro across
Speaker 3: the street. Rodney.
Speaker 2: Literally, you get robbed last night?
Speaker 3: What do you do last night?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: Man, I'm probably gonna go home and just cry it off.
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna tell nobody was gonna cry silently in
Speaker 4: my room.
Speaker 3: You're not gonna tweet about it least I'm taking some
Speaker 3: time boat.
Speaker 2: You lie on the brail, but they robbed you for
Speaker 2: your laptop, they took your passport.
Speaker 3: Oh, then I'm gonna go on Twitter and put a passive,
Speaker 3: aggresive joke about it.
Speaker 2: You can't even call about your contracts are gone.
Speaker 3: Get my carrier pigeons together.
Speaker 2: Question for her that I feel like you just proved
Speaker 2: yourself to be the gentrification expert dude.
Speaker 3: Right now I feel like handy po oh my god, you.
Speaker 2: And your broken knee and your ashy feet.
Speaker 3: I can't.
Speaker 1: We know you won't be doing comedy in Tola the
Speaker 1: end of August, so you don't have anything coming up,
Speaker 1: but please plug your Instagram, your Twitter.
Speaker 2: Let people know where they can catch your writing.
Speaker 3: At Collin n YC on Twitter. I'm at called says
Speaker 3: on Instagram. I started writing for a website called The
Speaker 3: Things dot com. Recently, The Things.
Speaker 4: An article for Classic Black Dude dot Com.
Speaker 2: Classic Black Dude dot Com.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Clark Jones, really really good sight. Shout out to
Speaker 3: Clark Jones actually.
Speaker 2: Clark Jones, who Clark Joe the top.
Speaker 3: Five about gentrifications. You can catch that right now on
Speaker 3: Classic dot com. Beautiful.
Speaker 2: Can you spell your name for us? Because I feel
Speaker 2: like some of our listeners are of the beige varieties.
Speaker 3: They don't know what is H A L I D
Speaker 3: beautiful And Collin Says on Instagram called says on Twitter.
Speaker 3: I mean Collin n y C.
Speaker 1: On Twitter it's beautiful and you can catch me on
Speaker 1: Instagram just said BW and then on Twitter it she
Speaker 1: just said n y C. You know, catch us on
Speaker 1: an unofficial expert on Instagram as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, make sure you tweet me it's mister z M
Speaker 2: s R e E E z Y. If you have
Speaker 2: a crazy interaction that you were a part of because
Speaker 2: of gentrification, you gotta tweet us yes, and then you
Speaker 2: can catch me on the radio every Thursday from seven
Speaker 2: to eight pm on ninety nine point five f M
Speaker 2: or W B A I dot org. Anyway, this is
Speaker 2: what this is what we do. For sure, you subscribe.
Speaker 2: Make sure you see you in comment a white person,
Speaker 2: you steal their phone and just subscribe to the podcast
Speaker 2: and then give them their phone back.
Speaker 3: That's all that we ask for you to and if
Speaker 3: you are in an uber pool, Listenedney, do something crazy
Speaker 3: that you can write about it, because that is my
Speaker 3: favorite thing on the internet. You are a rock star.
Speaker 2: Give us one more, one more word, one more about
Speaker 2: gentrification before we go. If you could think of anything
Speaker 2: through those loud ass places that the clerk are tall,
Speaker 2: expert is stacking in the background.
Speaker 4: Did you go to your bodega and they have the
Speaker 4: New Yorker It's over