Speaker 1: The Nicky Glizer Podcast.
Speaker 2: Glaser.
Speaker 1: Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: It's Nicki Glazer Podcast. How you guys feeling out there today?
Speaker 1: I hope you're doing well. Thanks for listening to the show.
Speaker 1: I'm here in Saint Louis alone. Brian Frangie is here
Speaker 1: with us from La Noah is in Arizona. What's up, guys?
Speaker 1: How are you?
Speaker 2: Yo? I'm to say yo again. I don't know what
Speaker 2: do you think?
Speaker 1: I notice that you're bringing it back and like against
Speaker 1: your will. It's one of those where you're like, why
Speaker 1: am I saying this so much? More like you're cognitive
Speaker 1: cut Wait what you're doing it on purpose?
Speaker 2: I am cognizant. I am not. I think it's just
Speaker 2: coming out of my mouth. I do not know why.
Speaker 2: I think it's from like the nineties, and I don't
Speaker 2: think it's coming back. Yo.
Speaker 1: Now I say, I say yo when I answer the
Speaker 1: phone every time? Oh you do yeah pretty much every time? Yo.
Speaker 1: If it's a friend, always yo.
Speaker 2: I have a different Hello for all musbody, my.
Speaker 1: Friend yoom and then I say yo yo yo. Well
Speaker 1: you have to pretty much you have a different thing
Speaker 1: for every person that calls you.
Speaker 2: Different people call me and I give them a hello
Speaker 2: that's requisite to their personality.
Speaker 1: Okay, I.
Speaker 2: Get nervous, really nervous Hello for you, Hello Hello, I
Speaker 2: think yeah, maybe that's for you.
Speaker 1: That's your hello to everyone.
Speaker 2: No, for some people, I go, I go, sup, dude.
Speaker 1: Wait, guys, I'll go sup dude, really yeah? Is this real?
Speaker 2: This is real? This is real.
Speaker 1: Wait, I've never heard you even do that voice.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's just because it's for certain people, for guys,
Speaker 2: for certain guys. For other guys, I'll go hey, For
Speaker 2: like Rob Stern, my really good friend Rob Stern, I'll
Speaker 2: go I'll go like hi, or like hey, or like
Speaker 2: what you know, something like really sure, like like it's
Speaker 2: one of those East Coast I'm I'm acting like I
Speaker 2: don't like you on purpose, but that means I'm really
Speaker 2: I really like you. Uh huh. That's that classic bit.
Speaker 1: I have a problem with exiting off the phone, Like
Speaker 1: I just I you know, I classically have the Glazer exit,
Speaker 1: which is the thing my boyfriend coined ten years ago,
Speaker 1: eleven years ago when we started dating, where I if
Speaker 1: I'm ready to go, I just say it and then
Speaker 1: I get up and go I don't need to like
Speaker 1: talked about this before. I don't need to talk. I
Speaker 1: don't need to announce it and then say I'm leaving
Speaker 1: and like we're gonna go pretty soon. I just I
Speaker 1: just know what I want and then I do it.
Speaker 1: And it's Enneagram three. It's just I don't waste time.
Speaker 1: I don't that is wasting time to me to be like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna building this buffer so people are more comfortable
Speaker 1: with me leaving. Leaving like that doesn't save anyone time
Speaker 1: in life. It's I guess it's courteous, but why, like,
Speaker 1: why is it so discourteous? Is that the anti curteous?
Speaker 1: Why is it so discognizant to say that you're gonna
Speaker 1: lead like leaving. I think people have a hard time
Speaker 1: with goodbyes because you know, the Irish exit is something
Speaker 1: to do because you're People say it's because they're they're
Speaker 1: tired and they just don't want to go say goodbye
Speaker 1: to everyone. But really, my old therapist, my abusive therapist,
Speaker 1: doctor abusive, she used to tell me that people are
Speaker 1: scared of goodbyes, so she would make people go to
Speaker 1: three sessions to say goodbye to her. If you were
Speaker 1: like I'm done seeing you should be like, okay, we
Speaker 1: have to go do three sistans to say goodbye because
Speaker 1: everyone's scared of goodbyes and you have to lean into
Speaker 1: them and actually like you know, tease them out, which
Speaker 1: really she was maybe wanting to make more money, but
Speaker 1: I think that she had somewhat of a point, is
Speaker 1: that we're scared. I don't like that I even was
Speaker 1: thinking about. I think with goodbyes, you start to say,
Speaker 1: even if it's just going saying goodbye for the night,
Speaker 1: like i'll see tomorrow, there's some kind of summary and
Speaker 1: there's some kind of like emotion that has to come
Speaker 1: out of it, of like it meant so much to
Speaker 1: me that you came, Oh, it's so good to see,
Speaker 1: Like there's too much emotion in it, and I want
Speaker 1: to slee from that. I think that's probably why I
Speaker 1: don't like goodbyes. It's too like there's too many feelings
Speaker 1: involved and entirely could be the last time you see someone.
Speaker 3: And also it just takes forever to say goodbye to someone.
Speaker 3: As an enneagram nine, yes, who feels the need to
Speaker 3: make sure that everyone's at peace with me leaving the room,
Speaker 3: which nobody gives a flying fuck.
Speaker 1: It just takes for accresent of the fact that no
Speaker 1: one cares, but it doesn't change the fact. So you
Speaker 1: say goodbye to everyone when you leave a party.
Speaker 3: Well, actually, after meeting you and learning the Glazier exit,
Speaker 3: which is like the best thing ever, because you've always taught.
Speaker 1: Me that nobody cares.
Speaker 3: No one's gonna remember that you left, especially at the
Speaker 3: end of the night where everyone's like have socialized, if
Speaker 3: they're drunk or whatever, like they're not thinking about you,
Speaker 3: so just go.
Speaker 1: So that has helped me a lot. But do you
Speaker 1: if you're someone that would like to be said goodbye
Speaker 1: to at a party you're throwing, and then like if
Speaker 1: you found out someone left and they didn't say goodbye,
Speaker 1: if that would offend you, then I can see how
Speaker 1: you might want say goodbye to people. But if if
Speaker 1: you put yourself in the shoes of someone who's hosting
Speaker 1: party and has to say not only hello to every
Speaker 1: person that arrives because they're the host, but then you
Speaker 1: have to say goodbye to like, do your host a
Speaker 1: solid and say, don't say goodbye, send a text the
Speaker 1: next day that they can thumbs up. Less less energy.
Speaker 1: You only have so much energy, and I do think
Speaker 1: there is something to goodbyes and we should lean into
Speaker 1: them a bit more. And you know, you shouldn't ghost people.
Speaker 1: You should give them if you've dated them for a
Speaker 1: long enough time, you do owe them some kind of explanation.
Speaker 1: But even I was thinking about my birthday party coming up,
Speaker 1: like I'm having girls trip in Saint Louis. I'm pretty
Speaker 1: much just doing, you know, with all all the girls
Speaker 1: that can make it from girls Chat converging in Saint Louis.
Speaker 1: Over my birthday weekend, we're gonna do karaoke, and I
Speaker 1: told Anya this weekend, I was like, I need to
Speaker 1: announce it on the girls Chat. I don't want any
Speaker 1: speeches about how much you love me, and like I
Speaker 1: don't want any toasts to me. I don't want any
Speaker 1: emotion about what I mean to you. I can't handle it.
Speaker 1: I already know, I really do. Like I know that
Speaker 1: my friends love me, I know that my family loves me.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't. I really am uncomfortable, and it's
Speaker 1: just I should probably allow it because it's nice for
Speaker 1: people to express themselves and it's something that they want
Speaker 1: to do. It's not always about me. And what I want.
Speaker 1: It's something that people are like, no, I want to
Speaker 1: give you this compliment or whatever the birthday. I just
Speaker 1: want them to write a card.
Speaker 2: I'll read it, oh at card pointe or like.
Speaker 1: My niece will read it when she's cleaning up my stuff.
Speaker 1: When I die someday, you know, like someone will read
Speaker 1: how much you loved me, and possibly it will be me.
Speaker 1: But I don't want to. I don't really like toast
Speaker 1: and I don't think I'm alone and not enjoying sincere
Speaker 1: moments of like, and everyone in my group of girlfriends
Speaker 1: is pregnant, and so I just don't There's going to
Speaker 1: be too many tears that I won't even be able
Speaker 1: to like accept because I'm like, oh, it's just their hormones.
Speaker 1: This isn't even about me, It's about like a baby
Speaker 1: inside them. And so then I won't even be able
Speaker 1: to take it personally, and and then I will have
Speaker 1: to meet it. If I don't cry, then I'll feel
Speaker 1: like I don't do it, that I don't care enough
Speaker 1: or something. So I'm just like, I want to just
Speaker 1: treat it like a normal's girl's weekend, and it's we're
Speaker 1: not talking about my birthday at all, And it's not
Speaker 1: because I'm scared I'm turning forty. I don't mind. Like
Speaker 1: we can celebrate the number. We can celebrate. We can
Speaker 1: have signs and candles and cake and everything. But just know,
Speaker 1: like Nikki, like you means I just in besties. I
Speaker 1: love when you write cards too, because that's that's where
Speaker 1: I get all that. And I like the meet and
Speaker 1: greet girls that cry and guys that say how much
Speaker 1: I mean to them and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: They're one chance because it's quick and it has to.
Speaker 1: Be quick because there's a line, not because I want
Speaker 1: it to be quick. But for some reason that doesn't
Speaker 1: I They're strangers to me, you know, just because I
Speaker 1: I've never usually seen them before. So I don't think
Speaker 1: I'm required as much except to just like listen and
Speaker 1: accept it. And I just sypricate. Really, I don't know
Speaker 1: why I can't handle it. I just have been like
Speaker 1: dreading birthday speeches. But they don't have to happen, right, Noah,
Speaker 1: Like everyone can not do one.
Speaker 3: Of course, not as long as we can sing happy
Speaker 3: birthday to you, and by we I'll be there in spirit,
Speaker 3: because I won't be able to be there.
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, that's right, because you're in third trimest. Okay,
Speaker 1: so yeah, you won't be there, so you won't it's so,
Speaker 1: and you wouldn't. You wouldn't do it anyway because you're
Speaker 1: not a very like ting ding ding Everyone listened to
Speaker 1: me kind of person, right, Not that the other girls
Speaker 1: I would do it in the making it about them
Speaker 1: or something. But yes they can sing happy birthday, even
Speaker 1: though that's excruciating as well, and we can all agree
Speaker 1: with that.
Speaker 2: What about out your funeral? What do you want people
Speaker 2: to say nice things about you?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I'm not there, yes, oh absolutely, that's where that's when,
Speaker 1: that's when she wants it. Yeah, I'll be there watching from.
Speaker 2: Some If you're a ghost and you're watching, you would
Speaker 2: be happy that people are saying nice things about you.
Speaker 1: And if I don't like it, I can just duck
Speaker 1: out and go hang out with.
Speaker 2: Go hang out Van, Brittany Murphy Man.
Speaker 1: Go and Britney Murphy. Yeah. I just feel like, yes,
Speaker 1: funeral is where I want to be appreciated and all
Speaker 1: those things. But I it's so funny because I don't
Speaker 1: I don't know why I want other people to hear
Speaker 1: how great I am. But I don't want I don't
Speaker 1: want to hear it.
Speaker 2: Hmmm. That why is that you're unwilling to accept anything
Speaker 2: positive because that's how you feel about yourself exactly because I.
Speaker 1: Don't really believe it, and it feel it feels like
Speaker 1: I'm just like you're pouring water onto a rock when
Speaker 1: you give me compliments. Yes, but other people are grass
Speaker 1: and if and they can absorb the things that about
Speaker 1: me much easier and and believe that they're true than
Speaker 1: I can. And so it just feels like, yeah, crying
Speaker 1: on a rock.
Speaker 2: There was an early date I had with Alley. We
Speaker 2: went to the gene Autry Museum, which is a West
Speaker 2: museum of the West and in Los Angeles, and they
Speaker 2: had an exhibit there that was like a little rock garden,
Speaker 2: and one of the things that they let you do
Speaker 2: was take a little bit of water and brush the rock,
Speaker 2: which I thought was so stupid. It was just like the.
Speaker 1: Rock. Oh, it's so bad.
Speaker 2: I couldn't stop laughing. It was like the It was
Speaker 2: like the only time in my entire life I laughed.
Speaker 1: But that happens that museums all the time. Where like
Speaker 1: I went to the aquarium with my niece and nephew
Speaker 1: last week, and there's just so much stupid stuff that
Speaker 1: you're just like they just needed to have something for
Speaker 1: someone to do. Here there is a This isn't stupid
Speaker 1: because it's actually kind of cool, but it is annoying
Speaker 1: you put your hand. It's like those Japanese foot spots
Speaker 1: where the fish eat your cuticles. Oh yeah, yeah, and
Speaker 1: that's a that's a station at the Saint Louis Aquarium. No,
Speaker 1: it's not. No one needs that. First of all, they
Speaker 1: starve the fish. In order for them to do it.
Speaker 1: The fish are not fed properly, so they're starving. Why
Speaker 1: do you think they attack your fucking like they start
Speaker 1: gnawing on any extremity that goes in is because they're
Speaker 1: so hungry with same with Japanese wip, like the dead
Speaker 1: skin and the salt and whatever is like the dirt
Speaker 1: on your fingers, on your hands. They like love eating
Speaker 1: it because they're hungry. But guess what that is not
Speaker 1: only inhumane to deprive them of actual food to feed
Speaker 1: them human skin, but human skin is not their food, Like,
Speaker 1: that's not what they eat in the wild. It's like
Speaker 1: we're just having these kids put in their hands and
Speaker 1: these and it's.
Speaker 2: So gross the way it makes it worse.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's so disgusting.
Speaker 2: Kids hands are covered in sticky fruit fruit roll up.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they love. Oh those fish are so lucky
Speaker 1: to get that. But they're not because they actually should
Speaker 1: be eating actual fish food and not human So it
Speaker 1: was a weird part to have in this exhibit. It
Speaker 1: just felt like it felt like it was a Pita
Speaker 1: should have been up in there. There is Pita hates
Speaker 1: Japanese foot. There is.
Speaker 2: To being a good curator of a museum, and sometimes
Speaker 2: are really stupid and bad, and sometimes they're good, Like
Speaker 2: there are parts of the Holocaust Museum that I liked,
Speaker 2: or the Holocaust Exhibit that I liked. The parts of
Speaker 2: the stupid we went, yes, that's right, we went together.
Speaker 2: We did a deep dive and.
Speaker 1: You and at the Holocaust Museum, you can't be skipping apart,
Speaker 1: even though you go, this is lame and this is
Speaker 1: for babies and it's for people. It's just, you know,
Speaker 1: there were some cool things.
Speaker 3: Let me just have sensory activities for kids at the
Speaker 3: Holocaust Museum.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can stick your hand in a gas chamber.
Speaker 1: And you can build a Oh god, it was brutal.
Speaker 1: I do recommend going to that one. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's open anymore though, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why we went. That's why we went. It
Speaker 2: was like the last weekend, big billboards, big billboards going
Speaker 2: across the four oh five all summer long, just said
Speaker 2: Auschwitz ending May twenty ninth or whatever, and that's when
Speaker 2: I knew I gotta go. It was it was really moving, yeah,
Speaker 2: except for the guard.
Speaker 1: It happened in November. Yeah, the guards.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember the guards were like move it along,
Speaker 2: people when we were in the train, turned into they
Speaker 2: turned into Auschwitz guards. That's a great episode of the
Speaker 2: Nicki Glazer podcast. You should listen to it. Go into
Speaker 2: the archives.
Speaker 1: Yeah, go back and listen to through the Auschwitz Museum.
Speaker 1: Know that the aquarium also had a lot of touching things,
Speaker 1: which kids love to touch things, and if I was
Speaker 1: a kid, I would love to touch jellyfish and sting rays.
Speaker 1: But I'm so sorry these animals. It's they're trapped in
Speaker 1: this like a huge aquarium. It's a big box. It's
Speaker 1: so it's so depressing. Zoos and aquariums are fucking depressing, dude.
Speaker 1: I can't even believe people are.
Speaker 3: There's only one. So in Arizona there's one. It's called
Speaker 3: Out of Africa, And I just want to say it's
Speaker 3: more of an animal sanctuary because the it's a privately
Speaker 3: run sanctuary and all all the animals there are saved
Speaker 3: by the owners. So basically they have this like huge
Speaker 3: playground of animals that they get to save and play with,
Speaker 3: and then the ticket sales help keep that place running.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't think these otters were saved. I don't
Speaker 1: think they're being rehabilitated. I think they were bread in
Speaker 1: captivity or stolen from the wild, which is how a
Speaker 1: lot of zoos populate their things, is they're stolen from
Speaker 1: the wild. Dude, Like, uh, I just watched David Tell
Speaker 1: Special and he goes I went to Sea World or
Speaker 1: dos I call it aquatic Houschwitz speaking up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then the aquarium for these fish is the ocean.
Speaker 2: I mean the ocean. You're just constantly being attacked.
Speaker 1: And each can you imagine though these fucking jellyfish are
Speaker 1: You can't touch them below. You're supposed to like touch
Speaker 1: them with the two finger touch on top, just graze
Speaker 1: them gently, which how many kids abide by that? Half maybe?
Speaker 1: And then the others are just palming these things, and
Speaker 1: there's like a person who's been working there for eight
Speaker 1: hours watching over it. So they're not catching everyone who's
Speaker 1: man handling these Yeah, but they're they're so tired of
Speaker 1: being there. And the jellyfish flip over. All of them
Speaker 1: are flipped over, and I go, I wonder why, because
Speaker 1: they don't want to fucking be touched anymore, because you
Speaker 1: can't touch them one that'll flipped over. So I go,
Speaker 1: interesting that all of these jellyfish are flipping over, all
Speaker 1: of them because they have been being touched. They're touched
Speaker 1: for sixteen hours a day, however long how twelve hours
Speaker 1: a day? These things are just being poked at by kids.
Speaker 3: It's like the kids on the seat of Nickelodeon.
Speaker 2: Oh I didn't watch that yet.
Speaker 1: It was only got touched when the cameras went off.
Speaker 1: That is so disturbing. I cried last night, and I
Speaker 1: rarely cried. I I taken a lot of brutal things,
Speaker 1: and I rarely get like emotional and so angry watching something.
Speaker 1: But Quiet on Set on Max is so good and
Speaker 1: is all about Dan Schneider, this producer of Nickelodeon, shows
Speaker 1: that was like, you know, the Chuck Lory of Nickelodeon,
Speaker 1: pretty much like just hit maker for TV shows in
Speaker 1: the two thousands, and he's a fucking creep, always having
Speaker 1: women massage. I'm on set, constantly making two women who
Speaker 1: worked for him, Uh, take one man's salary split a salary,
Speaker 1: split a salary, because there were women just always making
Speaker 1: them do sexual things, just making disgusting jokes, just this.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 1: It's just that's horrifying. And you watch a couple of
Speaker 1: episodes of that ship going down and then him being
Speaker 1: kind of inappropriate with on the shows, just like doing
Speaker 1: you know, cumshots pretty much for jokes where a girl
Speaker 1: will get you escorted with goo in her face, zooming
Speaker 1: on their feet, zooming on them, sucking things. There's always
Speaker 1: jokes about sausages hitting get your face zoe one on one,
Speaker 1: all that making. There's a guy called Pickle Boy that
Speaker 1: I remember from all that. I wasn't watching all that
Speaker 1: at the time, but Pickle Boy was this guy that
Speaker 1: would always show up with a huge thing of pickles
Speaker 1: and he was like ever present on all that throughout
Speaker 1: the two thousands. Turns out he was a massive pedophile,
Speaker 1: massive wow and uh, his victim. He eventually got caught
Speaker 1: because his victim was Drake Bell from Drake and Josh.
Speaker 2: Was Drake.
Speaker 1: Could have been him too, I mean he was on Degrassi.
Speaker 1: He was probably a kid during then. But Drake Bell
Speaker 1: from Drake and Jsh which was a humongously popular show
Speaker 1: prior to that. Stop making jokes. We're talking about child molestation.
Speaker 1: He hasn't watched it. You can't, like, I literally can't
Speaker 1: make jokes about it because I'm so incensed about it.
Speaker 1: This guy just tricked Drake Mill had an amazing father
Speaker 1: who would be on set watching closely, making sure that
Speaker 1: nothing was happening that was inappropriate. And then he started
Speaker 1: seeing this guy just paying way too much to pick
Speaker 1: a boy. The guy who played pick a boy named
Speaker 1: Brian Pack, not to be confused with Josh Pack, who
Speaker 1: has played Josh on Draken or in Josh or Draken. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Brian Pack pickle boy would just touch him too much,
Speaker 1: help him with wardrobe, where he's like, he doesn't need
Speaker 1: your helpinging that on, and the dad alerted other parents
Speaker 1: started talking about it, like have you noticed this? All
Speaker 1: the parents were just like no, it's fine. Then he
Speaker 1: went to I think he went to the heads. Did
Speaker 1: you watch it? No one? He went like, I saw
Speaker 1: the first episode.
Speaker 2: Oh god.
Speaker 1: The third is where it gets so fucking grizzly with
Speaker 1: this with Drake Bell talking about it for the first time.
Speaker 1: It's so sad. This fifteen year old kid gets preyed
Speaker 1: upon by this guy and there's nothing he can do
Speaker 1: about it. He doesn't have a license, he can't leave
Speaker 1: the house. That's happening in This guy by this time
Speaker 1: is like his best friend, a forty year old man
Speaker 1: who's inserted himself in his life, who's made him turn
Speaker 1: against his father. I mean, these pedophiles are so fucking.
Speaker 3: There's also Amanda Bines.
Speaker 1: Yeah it Dan, It's like, oh yeah, that was gross,
Speaker 1: and we don't really get details of what happens because
Speaker 1: she's not talking and he certainly isn't, but he is
Speaker 1: just disgusting. Dude, I can't even anyone. He literally said.
Speaker 1: They have footage of him saying, you know, the cast
Speaker 1: all comes out and he's talking to the studio audience
Speaker 1: before taping and he's like, after the show, you can
Speaker 1: meet the cast, you can touch them anyway you want,
Speaker 1: You could ask them questions, you can ask them any
Speaker 1: inappropriate question you want, really get personal, make them feel awkward,
Speaker 1: like and he loved doing this thing on all that
Speaker 1: where he would make the kids do this like is
Speaker 1: called like a live dare or something. I forget what
Speaker 1: it's called, but all the kids that are cast members
Speaker 1: come back and talk about it and they're like this
Speaker 1: that the live the live dares were the worst part
Speaker 1: of the show because he would make kids do fear
Speaker 1: Factor stuff and they couldn't say no. They're not adults
Speaker 1: and any any saying no on set would just make
Speaker 1: it so that you wouldn't get put on sketches. And
Speaker 1: he also he also did an interview where he says,
Speaker 1: I love that these kids. Sometimes these kids try to
Speaker 1: rasp me and they get a little attitude and I go,
Speaker 1: I'm right the show. If you want to do that,
Speaker 1: I'll write you doing something really bad next week. He
Speaker 1: said that kids on it's so insane that this is
Speaker 1: allowed to happen. But because it's allowed to happen, because
Speaker 1: he made hits and Nickelodeon didn't give a fuck, and
Speaker 1: no one from Nickelodeon ever reached out to Drake Bell
Speaker 1: after he went took this guy to court and had
Speaker 1: him arrested and he would later This guy who got
Speaker 1: arrested and is a child sex offender registered went on
Speaker 1: to work on other sets with children on the Disney Channel.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Hollywood is discussed keep your kids the
Speaker 1: fuck out of there. I'm serious, Like it's either they're
Speaker 1: getting fucked by the people making the shows or they're
Speaker 1: not getting roles. Like some of these kids were like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, I was the favorite until an Amanda came along,
Speaker 1: and then she got all the attention, and then it
Speaker 1: quickly zooms into like Amanda becoming probably of slightly a
Speaker 1: victim of some inappropriate behavior. We're not sure of Dan Seinder's,
Speaker 1: but it was really like, oh, I stopped getting I
Speaker 1: stopped getting like good parts because he wanted to molest
Speaker 1: someone else, yeah, or like whatever. It was like that's
Speaker 1: the vibe. Like, if you're a child actor who's working
Speaker 1: and getting a lot of work, it's because some man
Speaker 1: wants to fuck you. It's disgusting. Keep your kids out
Speaker 1: of it. Let them decide to get into it when
Speaker 1: they're adults and they can ruin their lives on their own,
Speaker 1: because it is a life ruiner. It's not a good
Speaker 1: business Brian, would you let your kids be in Hollywood
Speaker 1: if they wanted to? How would you handle it? Because
Speaker 1: I kind of think I might kids, even though I
Speaker 1: just said that, because I think I'd be vigilant. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't let shit go down.
Speaker 2: I think it's different nowadays than it was back in
Speaker 2: the nineties.
Speaker 1: At think or two eleven.
Speaker 2: I mean this wasn't even then. I mean I think
Speaker 2: things have changed, and hopefully that change sustains. If my
Speaker 2: kid came up to me and said I want to
Speaker 2: be an actor, then yeah, I would allow them to.
Speaker 2: I would. I would help them pursue it, for sure,
Speaker 2: but they'd have to say I want I don't want
Speaker 2: to be one of those parents who is like, you've
Speaker 2: got to be a star, You've got to go out
Speaker 2: there if you're not in Sestantme Street by six and
Speaker 2: you've nothing to do.
Speaker 1: But the thing is, kids don't. If you like to act,
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean you'll like Hollywood. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Like it's a different thing. But I don't know. Let's
Speaker 1: talk about it more when we get back from break
Speaker 1: all right, we're back. I do think that if I
Speaker 1: had a talented child, that that loved performing. I would
Speaker 1: let them do that, but that would mean I would
Speaker 1: have to be watching them on set. You just have
Speaker 1: to be on set all the time.
Speaker 3: You have experienced, like on actual sets, so you know
Speaker 3: how it kind of works, and I feel like you
Speaker 3: would probably be vigilant of this stuff.
Speaker 1: But the truth is, like so many of these parents
Speaker 1: that were like, hey, my kids, let's just not even
Speaker 1: talk about sexual abuse. My kid is working too long
Speaker 1: of hours. My kid shouldn't be in this leotard because
Speaker 1: you can see his penis through it, and he's forced
Speaker 1: to be in this penis costume all the time with penis.
Speaker 1: These things on his shoulder that are supposed to be noses,
Speaker 1: but they look like penises because every these fucking sick fucks.
Speaker 1: Remember when it was happening with Disney, Remember one like Disney,
Speaker 1: there would be hidden like penises on the Little Mermaid
Speaker 1: Castle and in the clouds on the Lion King it
Speaker 1: said sex. They love to like these sick fucks. If
Speaker 1: you're talented at making children's entertainment. Dan Snyder, who prides
Speaker 1: himself on like, I know how kids think. Why do
Speaker 1: you know how kids think? That's gross? Stop and stop
Speaker 1: saying that people shouldn't. People should maybe study child psychology
Speaker 1: and have some sort of like be like, I'm an
Speaker 1: adult who has learned what children like, but don't admit
Speaker 1: that you know somehow because that's weird. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just don't like. I don't like it at all.
Speaker 1: And I think, yeah, the if you're a parent that
Speaker 1: notices those things, even me, I would feel like if
Speaker 1: my daughter was on a sketch show on Nickelodeon, and
Speaker 1: because I said, hey, she's working too long of hours,
Speaker 1: then she doesn't get in the next the show the
Speaker 1: next day or the next the next episode, she gets
Speaker 1: cut from a lot of stuff because she needs to
Speaker 1: work less and all the other kids are working way
Speaker 1: harder like I would, and she would probably be mad
Speaker 1: at me. I know I would be mad at my mom,
Speaker 1: like just shut up, mom, let me work, like I
Speaker 1: don't know that I'd be strong enough to put my
Speaker 1: foot down like that. If all the other parents who
Speaker 1: are so desperate for their kids to be famous put
Speaker 1: up with so many abuses happening. And this isn't all
Speaker 1: the parents. A lot of the parents on the the
Speaker 1: show were good. That's the problem. Is like it's just
Speaker 1: a tricky business, and it's all about power. And if
Speaker 1: you have power in the business and you're making these
Speaker 1: businesses money, they don't care what you do. It's just
Speaker 1: that's the way it is. The Me Too movement is
Speaker 1: the reason Dan Snyder ever got fired is because suddenly
Speaker 1: these women who had watched him getting demanding massages from
Speaker 1: these wardrobe from the women in the wardrobe department who
Speaker 1: were outfitting three shows with tons of kids, so busy.
Speaker 1: They would get texts from him being like, come downstairs
Speaker 1: and massage me. And she's like, if she doesn't do it,
Speaker 1: she'll get fired. It won't be about that, but that
Speaker 1: will be the result of it. So she has to
Speaker 1: go with massage guy. They were putting up with it
Speaker 1: for years. There was not a day or she was
Speaker 1: like usually it was daily, but there was not a
Speaker 1: week that went by that too. He wasn't being massaged
Speaker 1: by some woman whose job it was not to massage him.
Speaker 1: And they for years until twenty seventeen eighteen when Me
Speaker 1: Too happened, and then they all got the balls to go, actually,
Speaker 1: this isn't cool, and what a cool movement. I know
Speaker 1: everyone like jokes about it, but that really was like
Speaker 1: such a churning point. People just suddenly had the guts
Speaker 1: to stand up and like call stuff out. And it's
Speaker 1: still stuff is still happening all the time. I mean,
Speaker 1: the Diddy thing is insane. Diddy's on a jet right
Speaker 1: now to an island where he can't be arrested, Like
Speaker 1: he had a plan to get out of the country
Speaker 1: as soon as they caught him for trafficking charges. I think.
Speaker 1: And someone made the point that by the time your
Speaker 1: home is raided by the Feds, they have a lot
Speaker 1: of evidence on you. That's not just like we're just
Speaker 1: gonna see what's in there. That's like, we know what's
Speaker 1: in there.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Did he has been around for decades? Do you think
Speaker 1: he just started doing this stuff in the past couple
Speaker 1: of years. No, it's crazy.
Speaker 2: It's not just Hollywood. It's all businesses, all operation, it's
Speaker 2: all power politicians, Epstein Island, it's all it's all a
Speaker 2: part of any power structure. It feels like, how though.
Speaker 1: If you're one power structure, yeah, yeah, or one at
Speaker 1: the top. But it's just such a weird thing. If
Speaker 1: you're into little kids, it's so powerful. How do you
Speaker 1: bring that up with someone and see if they are too,
Speaker 1: like how do you even I don't even want to
Speaker 1: I'm just floating that as like how do these people
Speaker 1: find each other? Because it is like, is the most
Speaker 1: insane thing. And by the way, if you want to
Speaker 1: fuck kids, I'm not mad at you because you didn't
Speaker 1: choose to want to fuck kids, but you got to
Speaker 1: get help for it so that you don't. You know, like,
Speaker 1: I'm mad at you if you fuck kids and you
Speaker 1: touch them and you abuse kids. But if you want to,
Speaker 1: you can't help that, and that is a sickness in
Speaker 1: your brain that you need to treat and make sure
Speaker 1: that you don't touch kids. So it's not it's not
Speaker 1: a bad thing to be attracted to kids, because that
Speaker 1: is a something a disorder in your brain that you
Speaker 1: didn't choose, but you gotta do something about it.
Speaker 3: And it isn't connecting with stuff. I think you're like
Speaker 3: in the right line when you're seeing it's like a
Speaker 3: power thing. I think it's more about that than like
Speaker 3: kid attraction.
Speaker 1: It's just like a oh yeah, just doing the weirdest
Speaker 1: thing and like the most fucked up thing, and like.
Speaker 3: We yn't I have the past because he also did
Speaker 3: it to the grown women in the writer's room.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, like all the stories that they tell,
Speaker 1: so I think that might not be a pedophile, but
Speaker 1: they're the guy. They's definitely sick. I don't. I do
Speaker 1: know that people that watch child born a lot of
Speaker 1: them based on this podcast I listened to from Sam Harris,
Speaker 1: and I've said this a million times, A big percentage
Speaker 1: of people who watch child pornography and trade it and
Speaker 1: consume it are not pedophiles. They're not attracted to children.
Speaker 1: It's just where porn ends. If you follow porn to
Speaker 1: its conclusion of brutality and extremity, it ends with kids.
Speaker 1: So those are people on like that have a porn
Speaker 1: addiction that just went too far, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: So it's not always about being attracted to kids. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it's just because you're so fucking sick. That's like you
Speaker 1: need the next sick thing. And that's It's fun Hollywood. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's going on in fun Hollywood? Is there fun on
Speaker 1: your weekend? Oh? Yeah, that was a fun, fun Hollywood weekend.
Speaker 1: I went to the Mark Twain Prize on Sunday night
Speaker 1: after our shows. We did shows this weekend and Gary,
Speaker 1: Indiana on Friday Saturday. We're in Cincinnati. Those are so
Speaker 1: fun Brian was there. We'll talk about those. But yes,
Speaker 1: Sunday night, I went to the Mark Twain Prize in DC,
Speaker 1: which my brain was your second one produces. Yes, was
Speaker 1: my second in a row, and it was so star studded.
Speaker 1: It was so funny. It'll air on in May. I
Speaker 1: don't want to say the date because it kind of
Speaker 1: coincides with another date that's coming up that's a bigger
Speaker 1: deal for me. So watch it eventually, but don't watch
Speaker 1: it premiere night because I think something else premiere Night
Speaker 1: is happening that.
Speaker 2: Is just the same day. Yeah, oh, get out of here,
Speaker 2: I said.
Speaker 1: Oh, Chris Convey producing two things, the two things you
Speaker 1: produce in a year, both airing the same night. So anyway,
Speaker 1: watch the other thing that's coming out that date. But
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say the date yet because I
Speaker 1: can't announce anything. But anyway, it was Jerry Seinfeld, it
Speaker 1: was Chris Rock, it was Dave Chappelle, it was Chelsea Handler,
Speaker 1: it was Jimmy Fallon, it was a little Dicky, It
Speaker 1: was Robin Thick, it was Nelly, Nick Cannon, and I
Speaker 1: don't know who else. It was just so many and
Speaker 1: obviously Kevin Hart. They were honoring Kevin Hart, and it
Speaker 1: was so star studded and it was incredible. And Keith
Speaker 1: Robinson the Rock was not there, but you didn't miss him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta be honest, what, guys, what's your favorite Kevin
Speaker 1: Hart movie?
Speaker 2: I don't even I couldn't even tell you. I don't
Speaker 2: I've ever seen one.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, let's talk about this, because that is a
Speaker 1: question that got asked me on the Red carpet and
Speaker 1: I realized I have never seen a Kevin Hart movie.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just know. I just like and people.
Speaker 1: And I go, well, so I should say a movie
Speaker 1: I've not seen and lie on the Red carpet because
Speaker 1: it's just to be nice and just say whatever movie
Speaker 1: I can think of. I didn't want to do that,
Speaker 1: like I they I didn't. I planned for the Red Carpet.
Speaker 1: Here's my things I'm gonna say about Kevin Hart, Here's
Speaker 1: what I admire about him. I did not think that
Speaker 1: they would ask me for a specific movie. What's your
Speaker 1: favorite Kevin Hart movie? And I literally froze and was like, uh,
Speaker 1: and I'm literally trying to think of a favorite one,
Speaker 1: you know, like, Okay, let me think of the ones
Speaker 1: I've seen and then let me pick the favorite. But
Speaker 1: it looks like I'm just like should I lie? And
Speaker 1: there's a part of me that was like should I lie?
Speaker 1: And then I was like, I don't even know if
Speaker 1: I could, because I can't even come up with the
Speaker 1: name of a movie because I don't really watch movies
Speaker 1: that much. I don't know if you've noticed. I watched
Speaker 1: the Oscar Best Pictures this year, but that was the
Speaker 1: most movies I've ever seen in my life in a
Speaker 1: time period since eighth grade. I just I would definitely
Speaker 1: have seen a Kevin Hart movie if he was around
Speaker 1: in nineteen ninety eight to two thousand and two. But
Speaker 1: I don't watch movies anymore. And they andally, I just
Speaker 1: go ah. And there's literally three microphones in my face,
Speaker 1: four video cameras pointing at me, and I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, this is gonna be so embarrassing, Like this
Speaker 1: is going to end up on Reddit. This girl is
Speaker 1: on the red carpet pretending to be a huge Kevin
Speaker 1: Hart fan, which I wasn't, by the way, And I
Speaker 1: am a huge Kevin Hart fan in my own way,
Speaker 1: but I wasn't pretending to be. I was like, I
Speaker 1: just go, I'm here because my boyfriend produces this. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be anything. I'm not. I've never
Speaker 1: seen a Kevin Hart movie. I think I'm realizing I've
Speaker 1: never seen a Kevin Hart movie. And yeah, they all laughed,
Speaker 1: and I go, I don't like. It was almost like
Speaker 1: a gotcha moment, and and I felt so I started
Speaker 1: having a panic attack because I was like, this is
Speaker 1: going to be so embarrassing. I look like a dumb
Speaker 1: white girl who like doesn't like I don't know. I
Speaker 1: just felt like it was like a I don't know.
Speaker 1: I was just in my head about it. And so
Speaker 1: I don't know, if you've ever been on a red carpet, no,
Speaker 1: but if you, but if you, it's already so much pressure.
Speaker 1: I already was feeling not that cute, Like my hair
Speaker 1: extensions were too blunt, and so it was like my
Speaker 1: hair was like natural, and then there were like these chunky,
Speaker 1: blunt extensions that were just poorly cut, and I looked
Speaker 1: it looked like I remember John Travolta in that movie
Speaker 1: where he has like ten yrols coming out of his head.
Speaker 1: He's like a action star. It almost looked like dreadlocks.
Speaker 2: Yes, actually what I looked like a scientology movie. Really yeah,
Speaker 2: that movie was like scientology propaganda.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. But the and they go. Well, before
Speaker 1: that happened, I was interviewed by a comedian who I know,
Speaker 1: Reese Waters, and he goes, what's your favorite Kevin Hart bit?
Speaker 1: And I blanked again, and I don't know. I've seen
Speaker 1: Kevin Hart stand up a lot, but I don't remember bits.
Speaker 1: I just watched Dave's David Tell special and I couldn't
Speaker 1: tell you. I can tell you maybe one joke, and
Speaker 1: I would butcher the Auschwitz one. I kind of butchered it.
Speaker 1: I'm not And I don't know what Kevin Hart bit?
Speaker 1: And so I go, Reese, I go, I don't. And
Speaker 1: then I felt like he thought I'd never seen Kevin
Speaker 1: Hart's stand up or something, or that I was. I
Speaker 1: don't know, it just felt I go Reese. As a comedian,
Speaker 1: you know, we see, first of all, we don't like
Speaker 1: watching stand up comedy. I don't like watching comedy, and
Speaker 1: I certainly don't like watching Kevin Hart, who is like, uh,
Speaker 1: seems so he's too good, you know, like he's too
Speaker 1: natural and good of a storyteller, and like it just
Speaker 1: comes too naturally to him, and it bothers me. So
Speaker 1: I don't I really don't like to watch people who
Speaker 1: I think are are talented in ways that I'm not
Speaker 1: drawn to that. And so I already was stressed out
Speaker 1: about answering that and saying and not being able to
Speaker 1: come up with the Kevin Hartbitt that I loved, and
Speaker 1: then I go a couple more interviews later and I'm
Speaker 1: coming down from that. So that's in the back of
Speaker 1: my head, like, oh my god, you're such an idiot.
Speaker 1: That's gonna come out. You're gonna look like such a fraud.
Speaker 1: All the say sweating.
Speaker 3: This is hyperventilating extensive questioning on a red carpet that
Speaker 3: I've seen. Usually they ask like silly questions.
Speaker 1: Like I was furious, Noah, I there was. I had
Speaker 1: no publicists there because I just didn't and so you
Speaker 1: were just you are on the red carpet by yourself. Usually,
Speaker 1: if you've watched red carpet footage, there's someone like ushering
Speaker 1: someone through and they go, sorry, she can't talk. There's
Speaker 1: someone else telling the person for them, And I'm usually
Speaker 1: down to talk to everyone, but I was I hadn't
Speaker 1: eaten enough that day, so I was feeling low blood sugar.
Speaker 1: I had rushed to get ready. I was coming from
Speaker 1: hair and makeup that I was feeling. The hair part,
Speaker 1: I was just my extensions were good. The rest was amazing,
Speaker 1: but I was just feeling blotchy with my spray tand
Speaker 1: was Zara, and it like didn't fit properly. I just
Speaker 1: felt like not put together in the way I wanted,
Speaker 1: and so I was feeling stressed out. I did the
Speaker 1: pictures and that was stressful enough because I just was like,
Speaker 1: didn't know what poses to do. I was just not
Speaker 1: in a good headspace at this thing. I was tired
Speaker 1: and I was underfed. And then the question started, and
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding you. I did fifteen interviews. Fifteen there
Speaker 1: was a microphone after microphone after microphone, and you talk
Speaker 1: to each person for three three minutes at least, and
Speaker 1: then so I am the first interview I did. I
Speaker 1: couldn't come up with a bit of his and I
Speaker 1: feel like an idiot. I feel like a fraud. I
Speaker 1: feel like just my mind goes to You're gonna get
Speaker 1: canceled because this seems like you are like lying about
Speaker 1: liking someone that you're here to support and this is
Speaker 1: a night to honor him, and you are just you
Speaker 1: got caught trying to compare it to like a moment
Speaker 1: where someone gets caught being fake. But I just felt busted,
Speaker 1: like you're not a real Kevin Hart fan because I
Speaker 1: don't know it's he was, He's I like him, Okay,
Speaker 1: you know I think he's I think he deserves this award?
Speaker 1: Do I have to be a fan of every fucking thing?
Speaker 2: And so?
Speaker 1: And everyone's talking like he's Obama, you know, like he
Speaker 1: changed the world, and every interview is like why does
Speaker 1: he deserve this? Why has he been such an influence
Speaker 1: to you? And I'm like, he hasn't been. No, I
Speaker 1: mean he he has in terms of his work ethic,
Speaker 1: And so I was able to summon why I really
Speaker 1: love Kevin Hart. And you can listen to those interviews
Speaker 1: because I figured out a line of logic that worked
Speaker 1: for me after failing so much. But then I get
Speaker 1: to the one where they go with your favorite Kevin
Speaker 1: Hart movie and I blanked, and there's all these cameras
Speaker 1: look at me, and I rarely can't don't say anything
Speaker 1: and I then jump to right to defensiveness because I
Speaker 1: see that they're all like, you don't even know Kevin
Speaker 1: Hart movie? Oh my god, what are you doing here?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm not gonna lie. I've never seen
Speaker 1: I don't think i've ever seen one. And then I'm like,
Speaker 1: but I don't really watch movies. I forget why I said.
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't need to defend this. I'm
Speaker 1: allowed to be here and to have not seen a
Speaker 1: Kevin Hart movie. I didn't say all this, but I
Speaker 1: was right, like, isn't a crime to not have seen
Speaker 1: a Kevin Hart movie?
Speaker 2: I don't think so.
Speaker 1: Someone Chris was telling me all the Kevin Hart movies,
Speaker 1: and I go, I don't. I don't really care about
Speaker 1: seeing any of those. I don't feel like I'm sad
Speaker 1: that I've never seen Raiders of the Lost Arc. I'm
Speaker 1: sad that I've never seen Wedding Crashers. I should see
Speaker 1: The Godfather. I should see The Godfather Part too. I
Speaker 1: know there's certain movies that I should see. Get hard.
Speaker 1: I don't think I need That's like I need to
Speaker 1: see it, or do you?
Speaker 2: Okay, let's play a game. It's called It's it's called
Speaker 2: is this a Kevin Hart movie? Or is this a
Speaker 2: random word generator title? Okay, here's the first one, still Pavement.
Speaker 1: Well, that's random.
Speaker 2: Okay, that is random. Yes, okay, here's another one, The
Speaker 2: ghost Writer.
Speaker 1: Random.
Speaker 2: That's correct, that is random. All right, here's another one.
Speaker 1: Uh, night School, Night School is Kevin Hart. Okay, now
Speaker 1: I know, but this is not going to be delete
Speaker 1: me is random. The reason I know these now is
Speaker 1: because I went through a whole night of celebrating Kevin Hart,
Speaker 1: so I am very familiar with his filmography at this point.
Speaker 2: Are you what about the Man from Toronto?
Speaker 1: Random?
Speaker 2: Read? That is a Kevin Hart movie? What from twenty
Speaker 2: twenty two? That's right, it is a Kevin Hart movie.
Speaker 1: I should have just said any fucking thing and they
Speaker 1: would have believed it. I'd be like, it's this obscure
Speaker 1: thing he did try to make. It's an indie project
Speaker 1: he did in twenty seventeen. No, I can't do that.
Speaker 2: You know, time me?
Speaker 1: Time was that one? No, that's that sounds like it was.
Speaker 1: I'm having a response again to this. I'm getting like
Speaker 1: hives and I feel like my throat closing because I
Speaker 1: seriously couldn't handle how I answered, and then I you know,
Speaker 1: like when you trip or follow something and then you
Speaker 1: get angry instead of like because you're so embarrassed. So
Speaker 1: I was so embarrassed. Yeah that I was like so
Speaker 1: fucking mad that these people tried to that asked me
Speaker 1: that question. And it's a normal question. I mean, he's
Speaker 1: done a lot of movies. They weren't trying to get.
Speaker 3: Me, But the question should have been, you know, if
Speaker 3: if Kevin sees this interview, what do you want to
Speaker 3: tell him? Or like, what's your favorite thing about Kevin?
Speaker 1: Would have been nice to keep it broad because I
Speaker 1: actually had really interesting things to say about Kevin. I
Speaker 1: was the only one that was talking about his plant
Speaker 1: based burger chain that I fucking love because he's making
Speaker 1: fast food for plant based people, which is a really
Speaker 1: fucking political hearthouse. There are four locations now in the
Speaker 1: southern California area.
Speaker 2: More wow. Uh.
Speaker 1: He also, I just I had a lot of stories
Speaker 1: to tell about him. He was really nice to me
Speaker 1: when I did his celeb game face show, and he
Speaker 1: was really nice to my mom, and I had a
Speaker 1: story about that and everything, Like I had moments to
Speaker 1: talk about, but I kept getting these specific questions and okay,
Speaker 1: so then I am I've never felt well, i haven't
Speaker 1: felt this level of panic, and I'm going to faint
Speaker 1: because I'm so upset and I want to cry and
Speaker 1: I want to faint because I chugged a coke before.
Speaker 1: I never I only drink diet coke. I've literally never
Speaker 1: had a coke since I was five year fifth grade.
Speaker 1: And I chugged a coke right before I went on
Speaker 1: the red carpt because I was already feeling so out
Speaker 1: of it and like low blood sugar faint. And then
Speaker 1: that happened and I was about to pass out on
Speaker 1: the red carpet, I'm not kidding you. And then I
Speaker 1: so I get done with the There's a whole row
Speaker 1: of people with video cameras and microphones, all the press.
Speaker 1: There was so much press here. It was like the
Speaker 1: fucking Oscars. It was insane. I've never done this much
Speaker 1: press for anything, and I had no publicist to be like, hey,
Speaker 1: she only can do a couple like oh, just oh,
Speaker 1: just every single person just next down the line, and
Speaker 1: they're not even gonna use it, you know, like I'm
Speaker 1: the least famous person there. And so after we get
Speaker 1: done with all the After I get done with all
Speaker 1: the interviews with the camera people with cameras, there's a
Speaker 1: line of people that with just you know, handheld recorders
Speaker 1: that are just reporters for publications, and that was just
Speaker 1: there was like a cleave in the line of people
Speaker 1: right there was like a little space between them and
Speaker 1: I because before then it had been like one microphone
Speaker 1: and then you just you turn to maybe go away
Speaker 1: or go you know, skip someone, and there's another microphone
Speaker 1: in your face. You can't. You have no moment to go, Hey,
Speaker 1: can I not do this? So I'm just like stuck.
Speaker 1: I felt like I was stuck in a uh in
Speaker 1: a river like rapids, and I'm just hitting different rocks.
Speaker 1: And then now I'm feeling like I'm gonna pass out,
Speaker 1: puke and faint all at once because I'm so embarrassed
Speaker 1: and I'm just thinking my careers over because I just
Speaker 1: got outed as lying about liking Kevin Hart when I
Speaker 1: really don't, when I really actually do, and I felt
Speaker 1: like they're gonna make fun of me, and I don't know.
Speaker 1: I was just really going to some dark places all
Speaker 1: while trying to look beautiful and suck in and be
Speaker 1: really eloquent and funny, and then with no help, no
Speaker 1: one next to me, no one getting me out of this,
Speaker 1: no assistance, no one running the red carpets even look
Speaker 1: to And it's a really well run event, but this
Speaker 1: was a fucking blind spot. And next year, if I
Speaker 1: do this, I will not I will have someone with me,
Speaker 1: even if they're pretending to be my publicist, which is
Speaker 1: all you really need to do. You just need to
Speaker 1: have someone, Yes, thank you, Noah, please please be there
Speaker 1: for that. So there's a little space and I go,
Speaker 1: I said to the next reporter who's holding a recorder.
Speaker 1: I just go, hey, I can't do anymore. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I just do not feel well. And they go, oh, okay.
Speaker 1: So when the camera's not on, you don't want to partake,
Speaker 1: Oh for the newspapers, you don't care for print journalism.
Speaker 1: You think, oh, who gives a fuck, And it's like Jesus, oh,
Speaker 1: so now you're making They didn't all say that, but
Speaker 1: there was this overall grown and I understand they're at
Speaker 1: the end of the line and they probably do get
Speaker 1: passed over by people who are just like, if it's
Speaker 1: not on camera, I don't care because it's you know,
Speaker 1: print journalism is going away, and I feel like they
Speaker 1: already feel, you know, disenfranchised. So it looked like I
Speaker 1: was just saying, if my face isn't involved, I don't
Speaker 1: want to be and part of it. So they kind
Speaker 1: of go like, oh, come on, I go, no, it's
Speaker 1: not that. It's because I don't feel good and I
Speaker 1: have anxiety right now and I'm like literally starting to
Speaker 1: almost start to cry. And I go and they go, well,
Speaker 1: you could just answer a couple and we'll all record
Speaker 1: at the same time, and I was like, okay, good.
Speaker 1: So then they did that, and I answered some questions
Speaker 1: about to cry, like on the verge of tears, like
Speaker 1: it is literally you know when your cry is right here?
Speaker 1: I would have been better at answering that that could
Speaker 1: have been a number of that number like seven pounds
Speaker 1: could have been the name of a show he did
Speaker 1: or a movie he did, So you know when your
Speaker 1: cry is right here?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Like, and you are a gobbler, Like what is that?
Speaker 1: I hate not having control over my body. That's why
Speaker 1: I don't like orgasms. That's why I don't like going
Speaker 1: on roller coasters. I like, that's why I don't like
Speaker 1: watching scary movies. I don't like. I don't like being
Speaker 1: like any jump scare. I want control and I was
Speaker 1: losing control. And also Curran Chris's brother is watching me.
Speaker 1: He's behind the report, so I see him watching me,
Speaker 1: and I see him see the moment where I go
Speaker 1: like searching for a Kevin Hart movie in my head
Speaker 1: but actually one that I've seen and I can't come up,
Speaker 1: and I see him kind of look like oh no,
Speaker 1: and he looks scared for me. So I'm just like,
Speaker 1: it's all of this pressure, and yeah, he's just like wow,
Speaker 1: she looks like she's struggling. And then so I get
Speaker 1: done with the interviews with the publications and I just
Speaker 1: and then I walk away, and I'm about ready to
Speaker 1: burst into tears, like I am I'm like, I can't
Speaker 1: great now, I can't even enjoy this fucking show because
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be in my head the whole time being
Speaker 1: like what did I say? Why did I say that?
Speaker 1: Why am I such a failure? Why did I Why
Speaker 1: am I even here? Like I should have never done
Speaker 1: the Red carpet, like this is embarrassing, Like I'm not
Speaker 1: a huge Kevin Hart fan. Why am I pretending to
Speaker 1: be one, and I was like freaking out. And I'm
Speaker 1: only sharing this because I think people can relate, and
Speaker 1: I just want people to know that, like it is
Speaker 1: all a act a lot of times for people to
Speaker 1: seem entertaining and like confident, because even though you probably
Speaker 1: know that from this podcast that I'm not all of
Speaker 1: those things. But that's ended up what I said to
Speaker 1: the prin journalists people, I go, you want to know
Speaker 1: why I love Kevin Hart because he is pure. I
Speaker 1: admire his confidence. And that sounds like a dig because
Speaker 1: it sounds like you're just saying someone's not talented, they're
Speaker 1: just confident or something. I'm like, no, he's already has talent.
Speaker 1: But no one believes in Kevin Hart more than Kevin Hart.
Speaker 1: And he's a testament to if you love yourself enough,
Speaker 1: what you can do, if you don't question yourself, if
Speaker 1: you really love yourself, and you are never going to
Speaker 1: abandon yourself and you're always gonna be there for yourself
Speaker 1: no matter how much you fuck up. Kevin Hart has
Speaker 1: his own back, you know. And I said, have your
Speaker 1: own back. He's going back. So they're like nodding along
Speaker 1: like yes, girl, yes, and I'm like, finally sticking the
Speaker 1: landing from my fucking talking point, and I go, I
Speaker 1: am not a confident person. I'm not feeling I was like,
Speaker 1: I as someone who really struggles with my confident and
Speaker 1: I know that looking at me, it seems like I am.
Speaker 1: But you if you talk to my girlfriends, you would
Speaker 1: all they would all say that I'm probably the least
Speaker 1: confident of all of them. And I know that shocking.
Speaker 1: But most comedians are not confident. And the ones that
Speaker 1: are most successful are the ones that figure out a
Speaker 1: way to fucking like themselves. Those are the ones that
Speaker 1: their talent matches their amount, that they believe in themselves.
Speaker 1: And I really struggle with that, and that's what I
Speaker 1: admire in him. And they go, thank you, okay, and
Speaker 1: then they put the you know on to the next person.
Speaker 1: And then I stepped off and I was about to
Speaker 1: go cry. And then I saw her in and he
Speaker 1: was like what happened because he was a little bit worried,
Speaker 1: but he was like, oh, it'll be fine, and I go,
Speaker 1: I need to go talk to them. So I went
Speaker 1: back to the print journalists and I said, and they
Speaker 1: weren't recording me. I go, hey, guys, I just want
Speaker 1: to let you know. I totally was not trying to
Speaker 1: pass you over because I don't admire what you do
Speaker 1: or like for any other reason than the fact that
Speaker 1: I was on the verge of a panic attack because
Speaker 1: of some questions that got asked before that I fucked up,
Speaker 1: So I had nothing to do with you, guys. I
Speaker 1: just want to let you know I love you, thank you,
Speaker 1: and good night. Then I've walked off, and I felt
Speaker 1: good about that, but then I was like still panicking
Speaker 1: about my answer to like not knowing his movies, and
Speaker 1: then I was talking to I went to go talk
Speaker 1: to So I haven't seen Chris in like two or
Speaker 1: three weeks, right, and I'm seeing him for the first time,
Speaker 1: and he is about to produce this live show. So
Speaker 1: he's taking a minute from his night before it begins
Speaker 1: to go say hi to me and Karin, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I fucking I was like, babe, I know you're busy.
Speaker 1: I was like, I just have to say, I'm just
Speaker 1: I can you just like make me feel calm about
Speaker 1: what just happened? And I told him what happened. He goes, oh,
Speaker 1: they won't use it, and I go, wait, why wouldn't
Speaker 1: they use that? It's so funny that I didn't know
Speaker 1: any Kevin Hart movies and I'm out of Kevin Hart
Speaker 1: Awards ceremony. And he was like, because they only want
Speaker 1: to make Kevin Hart look good, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: and then he walked away and I just all of
Speaker 1: a sudden relaxed in my whole body. And Kern was like,
Speaker 1: Kerin had been talking me off the ledge for an
Speaker 1: hour prior to that, right before we got to see Chris.
Speaker 1: And Kerr goes, why couldn't I do what Chris just
Speaker 1: gave to you? And I was like, dude, you did
Speaker 1: so well, you said everything you possibly could. But I
Speaker 1: forgot that aspect of it that Hollywood is a star
Speaker 1: maker machine, right. Everything is going towards making celebrities look perfect,
Speaker 1: and they aren't really the ones that ever try to
Speaker 1: embarrass celebrities. Like some of that happens, but it's usually
Speaker 1: when they've already picked a victim, where we're like, this
Speaker 1: person's to be made fun of, and we're always going
Speaker 1: to find things to make fun of them. Even TMZ
Speaker 1: is uplifting celebrities, they're only making fun of the ones.
Speaker 1: We've all decided we should trash them now. So no
Speaker 1: one's like trying to generate new celebrities to trash or
Speaker 1: make fun of art right or me. You know, like,
Speaker 1: no one's trying to have a get you a moment
Speaker 1: with me. And I'm coming from this place of like
Speaker 1: I'm on Reddit so much, and so I see all
Speaker 1: these gaffes of certain celebrities and I'm picturing myself becoming
Speaker 1: one of them, and I was like, oh, that's right.
Speaker 1: Like everyone press, it's like the Royal well, you know,
Speaker 1: like the Royal family and the British Press are like
Speaker 1: in bed together. Even though they seem at odds because
Speaker 1: the press comes after them, they really work together to
Speaker 1: build up the royal family and they both need each
Speaker 1: other and without each other, neither could exist. That's what
Speaker 1: celebrities and press are. Press is never trying to like
Speaker 1: make a celebrity look bad unless we all agree. Everyone's
Speaker 1: just trying to make everyone look good. So when he
Speaker 1: said that, I was like, oh my god, it's so logical,
Speaker 1: like yeah, they would never use that. No One's like
Speaker 1: it might resurface in like ten years of like look
Speaker 1: at this embarrassing moment on a red carpet, but it's
Speaker 1: not gonna be now, and so I was able to
Speaker 1: relax and actually have fun. But it was the worst
Speaker 1: moment of my career. I think honestly, the way it
Speaker 1: felt in my body, it was worse than fainting on stage. Yes,
Speaker 1: because this the scale of this was larger. Yes, fainting
Speaker 1: on stage was probably the uh No, dancing with stars
Speaker 1: being eliminated first was the worst. Yeah, And being said
Speaker 1: that I was awkward and that I'm not a good dancer,
Speaker 1: and being laughed at by like goodman, rest in peace,
Speaker 1: you bastard. Actually, we'll talk more about this when we
Speaker 1: get back, because we have to take a break. Nain, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're back.
Speaker 2: Why did you faint on stage?
Speaker 1: In two thousand and seven, when I was performing at
Speaker 1: Hennessy's in Dana Point, it was like a restaurant and
Speaker 1: I was on stage and I hadn't eaten enough that day,
Speaker 1: and I smoked a little weed and I ran before
Speaker 1: the show. That was also what was going on. I
Speaker 1: had not eaten enough, I had run on a treadmill before, Like,
Speaker 1: I just set myself up to be anxious. And then
Speaker 1: the second I was doing well on stage too, and
Speaker 1: I just started blacking out and I had never blacked
Speaker 1: out before. And I go, I think I'm gonna faint
Speaker 1: because I wasn't I couldn't remember my jokes, like my
Speaker 1: brain was failing me. And then it started getting tunnel
Speaker 1: vision and I didn't know what was happening, but I
Speaker 1: just go, I think I'm gonna faint. And then I
Speaker 1: looked at the woman in the front row and I go,
Speaker 1: is that awkward? And she said yes, and I said
Speaker 1: it is. And that's the last thing I said. I know, well,
Speaker 1: it was before awkward was like a catchphrase.
Speaker 2: I have to say.
Speaker 1: This was two thousand and seven. Awkward wasn't like. I
Speaker 1: just was like, is that I don't know what My
Speaker 1: brain wasn't working. I don't know if anyone here has
Speaker 1: ever fainted. But you aren't cognitively with it. No, you're
Speaker 1: not cognizant. And she goes yeah, and I and I go,
Speaker 1: it is, like I questioned, it, like it is. And
Speaker 1: then when I fainted, I kept the microphone next to
Speaker 1: my mouth and I was mumbling things all the way down.
Speaker 1: It was really embarrassing. It was the most embarrassing moment
Speaker 1: in my life. And I came to I can't ever
Speaker 1: heard this, dude. I fainted in front of a room
Speaker 1: of probably three hundred people. Wow, and it went dead silent.
Speaker 1: The MC came up and rescued me. I don't know
Speaker 1: exactly how it went down because I fainted, but I
Speaker 1: nearly fell off the stage because it was just a
Speaker 1: stage that was built up in the middle of this room,
Speaker 1: like there was no back to it, there's no wall.
Speaker 1: So I almost fell off the back of this platua.
Speaker 1: But these guys came up and caught me, and I
Speaker 1: just kind of crumpled. And then I kept talking, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, and I had a dream while I was
Speaker 1: fainted that I fainted on stage, and I was like,
Speaker 1: and then I was also in the ocean, like rolling
Speaker 1: around in waves. And then I woke up from a dream. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I woke up from a dream that I had fainted
Speaker 1: on stage. And I've told this story before, but you
Speaker 1: know when you wake up from a dream that's really bad,
Speaker 1: like a nightmare, and you go, oh my god, thank god,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm so glad that didn't happen. That's
Speaker 1: how I woke up. I go, oh, oh my god,
Speaker 1: that would have been the worst embarrassing thing ever, the
Speaker 1: god that was a dream, Oh my god, it wasn't.
Speaker 1: And I all of a sudden look around and I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is real. And because I was so embarrassed, the
Speaker 1: anger came through like it did on the Red Carpet
Speaker 1: when I snapped at them and go, I'm not supposed
Speaker 1: to know Keevin art movie or whatever I said. The
Speaker 1: anger came through and I stood up in the adrenaline
Speaker 1: and I go and I ran. I ran out of
Speaker 1: the room right and then I'm and I went right
Speaker 1: to the bathroom, final thought. So I fainted, I stood up,
Speaker 1: I ran. The room is dead quiet, like I woke
Speaker 1: up because of the quiet. Right, I ran to the bathroom.
Speaker 1: I'm in the bathroom, alone in the women's room, and
Speaker 1: no one's coming in to like help me or check
Speaker 1: in on me. But I'm in the stall and I'm
Speaker 1: really thinking my career is over. My career is not
Speaker 1: even begone. This is two thousand and seven. I'm going
Speaker 1: to New Faces very soon. This was planning to go
Speaker 1: to Montreal, New Faces, Big Opportunity. Rest in peace, Rest
Speaker 1: and peace as well, Len Goodman, and New Faces.
Speaker 2: Yes are everything that embarrassed you is now going to hell.
Speaker 2: Watch how Hennessy's fell into the ocean.
Speaker 1: I think it's still around. I would love to go
Speaker 1: back to the scene of this crime. But it was
Speaker 1: so Someone's written to me. They heard me telling this
Speaker 1: on another podcast, and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I know Hennessey's and Dana point. So I am in
Speaker 1: that stall and I'm just like, oh my God, like
Speaker 1: this is gonna get out. It just felt it felt
Speaker 1: the same way I felt in that Kevin Hart moment, actually,
Speaker 1: because I'm like, you, dumb bitch, you didn't eat enough today.
Speaker 1: This is what I feeling when I fainted. You didn't
Speaker 1: eat enough. You're kind of anorexic right now, and you're
Speaker 1: not admitted to yours. It's the thing you're hiding from people.
Speaker 1: You're not telling people you're not eating, but you're trying
Speaker 1: to lose weight so you can have some sort of
Speaker 1: control when you're in Montreal, because you know you're not
Speaker 1: funny enough to go, so you have to be thin
Speaker 1: because then that'll be some kind of achievement. I don't
Speaker 1: know what was going on in my head, but I
Speaker 1: felt like I had I had been doing sneaky things
Speaker 1: and I was busted, like I fainted. I had been
Speaker 1: anarexic at that point for you know, five years, and
Speaker 1: I had never fainted. And as an anirexic, you're constantly
Speaker 1: getting up and like losing kind of getting stars and
Speaker 1: like almost passing out. But then you catch yourself and
Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, still got it. And I had. It
Speaker 1: just felt like a moment of such weakness and what
Speaker 1: an idiot. You're an adult woman who's fainting on stage.
Speaker 1: And I felt like, I don't know, you know, in
Speaker 1: that moment where you're not thinking rationally, You're like, my
Speaker 1: life is over. This is gonna get out. People are
Speaker 1: gonna find out. I don't I can't even play out
Speaker 1: how it ever could have gone that way, because who
Speaker 1: gives a fuck? Right, you know, even if I was
Speaker 1: famous and fainted, like who everyone just has computishit for someone.
Speaker 2: Who faces empathy, like the person in the front row
Speaker 2: was totally wrong, and it was sent you into this headspace.
Speaker 2: You it's not awkward to faint on stage. It's frightening,
Speaker 2: and it's you're concerned about the awkward. It depends how
Speaker 2: you fall. I guess if you like hit your head.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was probably awkward that I was asking, well,
Speaker 1: she was just felt like put on the spot. She
Speaker 1: didn't thought it was a part of your act. A
Speaker 1: lot of people did. They were like, was that a bit?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, why would that ever? I guess if
Speaker 1: I was like cofmanesque but like that, I would never
Speaker 1: do that. And not that anyone knew my style then
Speaker 1: I was literally unknown. But I was in that stall
Speaker 1: just thinking like, my life is over. This is going
Speaker 1: to get back up to LA. They're going to kick
Speaker 1: me out of the festival. I'm a liability. I think
Speaker 1: that's where a lot of it comes from. A lot
Speaker 1: of shame comes from, like your liability. And even on
Speaker 1: that red carpet, I'm like, oh, you dumb bitch. Like
Speaker 1: you could have on the way over in the car,
Speaker 1: instead of talking to Current about whatever fun thing you
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about, you could have said, Hey, what's
Speaker 1: just some things I could talk about with the Kevin
Speaker 1: Hart thing? Can we go over some Kevin Hart movies?
Speaker 1: Like I could have been, you know, practicing and getting ready,
Speaker 1: But instead I was like, Hey, what's been going on
Speaker 1: in your life? And blah blah blah and just wanting
Speaker 1: to have fun and it's like it I started beating
Speaker 1: up on myself for not doing enough hard work and
Speaker 1: for like not eating enough. And why did I go
Speaker 1: on the treadmill for an extra ten minutes that probably
Speaker 1: depleted me in a way that I couldn't come up
Speaker 1: with Kevin Hart movie to lie about? Why would I
Speaker 1: even lie? Why haven't I seen a Kevin Hart movie?
Speaker 1: I'm a bad person. Kevin Hart is a national treasure.
Speaker 1: What's wrong with me? Why do I Why am I
Speaker 1: in entertainment if I've never seen a Kevin Hart movie?
Speaker 1: Why do I expect to be in movies if I
Speaker 1: haven't like all these things?
Speaker 2: Oh? Boy?
Speaker 1: So I'm in that stall in two thousand and seven though,
Speaker 1: and I'm like it's over for me. And then I
Speaker 1: was like so embarrassed that I got angry and I
Speaker 1: just ran out of the bathroom and to a room
Speaker 1: of people that is waiting for me to emerge from
Speaker 1: the bathroom, trying to collect themselves figure out what's going on,
Speaker 1: what's going on with the show. No one's in the
Speaker 1: bathroom because there's no women on the show that are
Speaker 1: running the show to come checking on me. They're all men.
Speaker 1: So they're like, there's no one coming in, right, so
Speaker 1: I'm probably in there for a minute. I burst out
Speaker 1: of the doors, burst out onto this room of three
Speaker 1: hundred people. It's literally the bathroom's right next to the stage,
Speaker 1: so they're all facing me, and I go, is anyone
Speaker 1: gonna fucking help me?
Speaker 2: Then?
Speaker 1: And I look at them all just like rabbit right,
Speaker 1: and then I beline it right right into the kitchen,
Speaker 1: right off to the right. I see the kitchen doors
Speaker 1: and I bang through the double doors, and I was like,
Speaker 1: give me a piece of bread, like I just needed
Speaker 1: some kind of you know, obviously my blood sugar had failed,
Speaker 1: so I was like, I need some food, and they
Speaker 1: give me food, and I'm then I'm embarrassed that I
Speaker 1: yelled because that was so not cool and it's no
Speaker 1: one's fault except my own. And then I'm in the
Speaker 1: kitchen hiding, trying not to ever have to go back
Speaker 1: out there, and I'm crying, and I'm asking for my
Speaker 1: friend Taylor Williamson, who was there. I was like, I
Speaker 1: need Taylor, where's Taylor? And then he comes in. He's
Speaker 1: so shooken up. I was so embarrassing to see how
Speaker 1: scared he was felt. I felt so bad and then I, oh,
Speaker 1: I eventually had to walk out into the room to
Speaker 1: like leave, and like everyone started applauding, and that was
Speaker 1: made me.
Speaker 3: That's why you don't want birthday speeches because it brings
Speaker 3: up that trauma.
Speaker 1: It's just too much attention and it's too sincere and
Speaker 1: it's like sweet and they were all happy I was alive,
Speaker 1: but so yeah, it kind of was the same vibe. No,
Speaker 1: it's a good connection.
Speaker 2: What was your exit strategy after that? Which is a
Speaker 2: Kevin Hart movie? It is right, that's yes. So I.
Speaker 1: I just ate dinner because I had planned on I
Speaker 1: was broke at the time, right this two thousand and seven.
Speaker 1: So when you would get these gigs, you would get
Speaker 1: to eat one meal at the place and you can
Speaker 1: get whatever you wanted. So I got this badass salad
Speaker 1: that was filled with stuff and I was so excited
Speaker 1: to eat it. But when I got there, they were like,
Speaker 1: can you go at first? And I was like, I
Speaker 1: really need to eat. I knew that I was suffering
Speaker 1: because I hadn't eaten all day. It was my one
Speaker 1: meal a day because I was really you know, dieting,
Speaker 1: and and they go, don't you can just eat your
Speaker 1: food will be ready as soon as you get off stage,
Speaker 1: and I go, yeah, okay, fine, big mistake. So I
Speaker 1: ate my food and then everyone was like, she can't
Speaker 1: drive back on her own. I'm like, I swear to
Speaker 1: God I can. I am fine, And so it was
Speaker 1: a big fight with everyone to let me drive back
Speaker 1: on my own, and they eventually did, and then nothing
Speaker 1: happened to I just went to Montreal and bombed my
Speaker 1: face off. And that brings us to my conclusion on
Speaker 1: Kevin Hart, which is I bombed at Montreal. Bombed for me.
Speaker 1: It wasn't bombing, but like at Montreal, you want to
Speaker 1: stand out, and I just didn't. I was beat blow
Speaker 1: mediocre right, and I was too thin, and it was
Speaker 1: like I didn't even look good. I looked sick. I
Speaker 1: had bags under my eyes. I was I had a
Speaker 1: crush on this guy and I kind of got too
Speaker 1: drunk and threw myself at him and got rejected and
Speaker 1: felt really embarrassed by that. I was also on the
Speaker 1: same dance floor where I threw myself at that guy
Speaker 1: while we were slow dancing. Later on, we were fast
Speaker 1: dancing and I slipped and fell and like sprained my wrists.
Speaker 1: So I had like a I had to have my
Speaker 1: wrist bandage. So I was like drunk and dry and
Speaker 1: hungry and not funny this entire special or this entire time,
Speaker 1: and I was just I just felt like such a fraud,
Speaker 1: like what are you doing here? And I was drinking
Speaker 1: too much. It was my life was just in shambles, right,
Speaker 1: and my bones were so brittle. That's probably why it broke,
Speaker 1: because I wasn't feeding myself. But then I went to
Speaker 1: go see this comic that was the talk of the
Speaker 1: fest and he was having like he was doing his
Speaker 1: first like big theater shows, and he was the show
Speaker 1: to go see. There's always like for every year, it
Speaker 1: just for laughs, there's like one guy who's like, this
Speaker 1: guy's taking over the world. He's the next big thing.
Speaker 1: Kevin Hart. I'd never heard of him, went to go
Speaker 1: see him in two thousand and seven, which was confirmed
Speaker 1: later on by people at the party I go. I
Speaker 1: saw Kevin Hart for the first in two thousand and seven.
Speaker 1: They were like, that's the year he broke. That was
Speaker 1: the year that like, that was that summer and I
Speaker 1: goes Montreal, they were like, that was the festival, that
Speaker 1: was the moment, and I went to go see him,
Speaker 1: and I had to leave because I was so depressed
Speaker 1: at how good he was and how young he was,
Speaker 1: because he's not that much older than me. He's like,
Speaker 1: I think he's like forty five. He's like six years
Speaker 1: older than me. That's crazy five years older than me,
Speaker 1: and he was just crushing it away. I could never
Speaker 1: even is he it's get the fuck out. He's forty four. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's been around for so long. He's so fucking good
Speaker 1: and and and so that was my whole story, was like,
Speaker 1: I Kevin Hart, I the reason I can't watch him
Speaker 1: is because he's too good and I spun it right.
Speaker 1: But that is actually if we're getting at the root
Speaker 1: of why I haven't seen Kevin Hart movies. Yes, they
Speaker 1: don't always appeal to me because they're like, you know, uh,
Speaker 1: they're just like broad comedies that I'm not even watching
Speaker 1: specific comedies. I don't really and comedians don't really always
Speaker 1: like comedy. But he also is just too naturally talented
Speaker 1: and it bugs me. Yeah, And that was kind of
Speaker 1: the vibe of the night, was everyone was just like,
Speaker 1: you're just so naturally talented, and you believe in yourself
Speaker 1: too much. And we all don't. We don't. We don't
Speaker 1: know why.
Speaker 2: Commercials he's also great in commercials.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean DraftKings is the kind of the only
Speaker 1: thing that I see him in. What commercial would i've
Speaker 1: seen him in? I don't watch commercials sports right now.
Speaker 1: I just see it on like the Reddit one where
Speaker 1: it's a still image of him and he looks good
Speaker 1: at that.
Speaker 2: And he's hilarious in like subway and State, State Farm,
Speaker 2: sometimes various he just pops up in various places.
Speaker 1: What what was the best part about it for me?
Speaker 1: Which I haven't seen someone else do at the Mark
Speaker 1: Twain Prize is like heckle the people who are insulting
Speaker 1: him in a way that was so fucking on point.
Speaker 1: So someone would make a joke about Kevin Hart and
Speaker 1: he'd go like, come on, Chelsea, come on like he
Speaker 1: would he would like come at her, back at her
Speaker 1: in a way that was really fun and like the
Speaker 1: banter at it was so fun. And there is a
Speaker 1: moment that happens at the Mark Twain Prize. Keith Robinson
Speaker 1: did something impromptu. Keith Robinson, who has had two strokes
Speaker 1: and had to walk out on stage with his cane
Speaker 1: and talk slower, and it's very hard to understand. Now
Speaker 1: even though you know he's he's his mind is still
Speaker 1: sharp as fuck, but he's just talking slower, and he's
Speaker 1: it's a little slurred, and he has a cane and
Speaker 1: he's just slow. But there's a moment with him that
Speaker 1: is one of the funniest things I will ever witness
Speaker 1: in my life. And you must watch it at some
Speaker 1: point when the Mark Twain Prize comes out on Netflix.
Speaker 1: It was not planned and it was so hilarious. And
Speaker 1: then also there was another moment that Kevin Hart had
Speaker 1: later in the evening that just solidified how extraordinary he
Speaker 1: was because it was another unplanned moment that was just
Speaker 1: top notch. But there was it was it was savage.
Speaker 1: He was so good, and like God, Chappelle, Chappelle goes.
Speaker 1: Chappella goes out and does this amazing monologue that has
Speaker 1: a point, it's poignant, it's funny, it has a beginning, middle,
Speaker 1: and end. It callbacks to things, and the guy doesn't
Speaker 1: even have notes in the prompter for it.
Speaker 2: Wow, he's probably riffing, He's.
Speaker 1: What the fuck, dude.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just.
Speaker 1: I was very curious to hear what they each had
Speaker 1: in the prompter, and some had the whole script and
Speaker 1: some had just bullet points. This is based on, you know,
Speaker 1: my connections with the production team. I had to suck
Speaker 1: some dick to get these answers, you guys. But I
Speaker 1: was like, did Chris Rock have notes? He's like, get
Speaker 1: down on your knees. I'll tell you after Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: for ten years I've been doing this all to get
Speaker 1: the answers to Chris Rock has anything in the prompter
Speaker 1: when he gives a speech about Kevin mart But Chapelle
Speaker 1: had nothing, and that really, uh you know what that means, Brian.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think a lot of people do think
Speaker 1: comedians just riff, but that is extraordinary, extraordinary.
Speaker 2: He probably thought about it for a little while, but
Speaker 2: then I bet you he went up there and that's
Speaker 2: what he does. That's what he does on stage.
Speaker 1: That's what we were debating. Do you think he was backstage?
Speaker 1: Do you think he had a moment of like piecing
Speaker 1: it together in his head and kind of going over it.
Speaker 1: And I think, without question he did this. Isn't he
Speaker 1: could do it off the dome without any problem. But
Speaker 1: I definitely don't think he's someone who doesn't prepare. He
Speaker 1: prepares in his own way. He just doesn't need to
Speaker 1: rely on notes. There was no moment everyone else which
Speaker 1: I would need this so much, So there's no judgment.
Speaker 1: Every brilliant the brilliance that was on that night, Like
Speaker 1: I'm not speaking ill of their talent, but they would
Speaker 1: say something sincere and turn to Kevin Hart and then
Speaker 1: they'd have to go back to the prompter to like
Speaker 1: finish what they were, like to get back on track
Speaker 1: and have to like look down the barrel. Chappelle was
Speaker 1: just all about Kevin. The whole thing was to Kevin.
Speaker 1: He wasn't worried about anyone else, even though he's giving
Speaker 1: a performance that was to the whole room. We all
Speaker 1: felt included. It just felt so sincere and down the barrel.
Speaker 1: And then Chappelle goes off and he's you know, he
Speaker 1: goes to sit next to Seinfeld and Rock and there's
Speaker 1: like a song playing because it's during commercial break or
Speaker 1: whatever it's you do it. They're doing a change up
Speaker 1: and the camera's on him and it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: we're all just like kind of waiting for the next
Speaker 1: thing to happen, and he's just like dancing and like
Speaker 1: not even dancing for like to be entertaining, but just
Speaker 1: like having a good time and not so self aware,
Speaker 1: and I just I just fucking love him so much.
Speaker 1: And I know this is gonna sound I'm not even
Speaker 1: gonna say what I was gonna say, because I want
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say to you off air and then you
Speaker 1: can I can. I'll say it on our next episode
Speaker 1: of The Diamond Players Club that has being on a paywall,
Speaker 1: because I don't want to get canceled for what I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say. But there's something he reminds me of someone
Speaker 1: so much, and I don't want it to be uh,
Speaker 1: to come off the wrong way when I say it,
Speaker 1: so I'll say it too off air, but ken our
Speaker 1: next interesting episode.
Speaker 2: Chase Freedom Commercials. Those are the ones season that I
Speaker 2: couldn't think of.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, well he's I'm glad that you said that
Speaker 1: you had also never seen a Kevin Hort.
Speaker 2: Movie of you Jumanji. I would have just said Jumanji instinctually,
Speaker 2: because I know that he was in Jumanji.
Speaker 1: See I forgot that he was in that because did
Speaker 1: you see Top Five?
Speaker 2: That was Chris Rocky movie movie?
Speaker 1: See Top Five?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, no, I have seen Kevin Hart movies because you
Speaker 1: can't miss them.
Speaker 2: But I still Chris rock movie, but Kevin Hart's in it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a good movie. I actually really really
Speaker 1: like see that again. All right, Well, we we talked
Speaker 1: about something that I thought I was never going to
Speaker 1: talk about again. I literally thought it was the end
Speaker 1: of my career, and now I'm here I am talking
Speaker 1: about on my podcast. Thank you guys for listening. We
Speaker 1: will talk about our weekend of shows tomorrow on the show,
Speaker 1: because we have. We were in Cincinnati, we were in Gary, Indiana.
Speaker 1: That was so much fun.
Speaker 2: Best what was that I did? Ride along? You did
Speaker 2: a ride along that this is not recover right along too?
Speaker 1: All right, we shall talk about that tomorrow. Thank you
Speaker 1: for listening, Adobe Ka Bye.