1 00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:03,440 Speaker 1: This is a headgun podcast. 2 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 2: Hi, Hi mega odem, and welcome to Thanks Dad. I 3 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,560 Speaker 2: was raised by a single mom and don't have a 4 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 2: relationship with my dad and I really don't think I 5 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:25,480 Speaker 2: ever will because he's actually dead. He's dead now, Yep, 6 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 2: he died, he died, He went and fucking died last year. 7 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 2: That bastard. Or I guess that would be me because 8 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 2: technically I'm the bastard, right Okay. On this podcast, I'm 9 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:38,600 Speaker 2: sitting down with father figures who are old enough to 10 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 2: be my dad? 11 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:48,600 Speaker 1: That's the this podcast full stop your dad? Oh my god? 12 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 2: Okay, so we left that part out when we reached 13 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 2: out to guests. We did se no, no, no, or 14 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 2: or who are just that dad's themselves? That too? Okay. 15 00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: I kind of want to know how old you are now? 16 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: Your age start with a. 17 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 2: Two as far as Hollywood is concerned. Yeah, yes, exactly. 18 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,399 Speaker 2: But I'll get to ask the questions I've always wanted 19 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 2: to ask a dad, like how do I know if 20 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,920 Speaker 2: the guy I'm dating is right for me? Or what 21 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:17,560 Speaker 2: should I look out for when buying a car? Can 22 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 2: you help me change the oil in the car once 23 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 2: I get the car? 24 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 1: I think you're revealing that I'm a terrible dad. 25 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 2: Today's guest is the author of Daddy Diaries, The Year 26 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:32,120 Speaker 2: I Grew Up, the host of the Daddy Diaries podcast, 27 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 2: and watch What Happens Live. Please welcome My Dad for 28 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 2: the Day, Andy Cohen. Did you know you were going 29 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:39,440 Speaker 2: to be my dad for the day? Did you know 30 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:40,199 Speaker 2: that part? 31 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 1: Well? You know? 32 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:45,399 Speaker 3: I am a My Housewives tagline is I am a 33 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 3: father of two. 34 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,960 Speaker 1: And a daddy to many. My God, there you go. 35 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 1: Sorry for my voice. I apologize you guys. I talk 36 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 1: a lot and sometimes it goes out. 37 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 2: This happens, but it's kind of sexy. I shouldn't say 38 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 2: that about my dad. Can you say your dad? That's sexy? 39 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: Yeah? Baby, already weird? 40 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 2: I know, okay, but daddy too many. I like that, 41 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 2: but then I also feel less special. And your two 42 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 2: are really special, obviously the most special. 43 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 1: Yes they are. 44 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 2: You have a girl and a boy. 45 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 1: I do well, ages five and two? Who's five? 46 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:22,360 Speaker 3: Ben? 47 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:22,839 Speaker 1: My solf? 48 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:25,079 Speaker 2: Ben is five? Okay? And what's your daughter's name? 49 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 1: Lucy? 50 00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:29,240 Speaker 2: Lucy beautiful name and she's two? Yes, okay? And your 51 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 2: your fake I see it in your eyes, dad, I 52 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 2: see it in your eyes when you talk about them. 53 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 2: It's very sweet. Yeah, yeah, okay, you love. 54 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:38,120 Speaker 1: Being a dad. I can't believe you. 55 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 3: I mean, I was like mister bachelor forever. I didn't 56 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 3: have kids until I was fifty. 57 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 2: Do you feel like it's better to wait in your experience? 58 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 1: For me, it's great to wait. 59 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:52,239 Speaker 2: Why do you feel I froze my eggs? I'm glad 60 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,360 Speaker 2: to hear that. Thank you. 61 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 3: A bit of the things that I think is just 62 00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:01,640 Speaker 3: a tragedy is that women are faced this biological time clock, 63 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 3: and I think it's so unfair, especially as I think, 64 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 3: especially as women just how do I say this? I 65 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 3: just think it's totally unfair, And I think that women 66 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 3: should be able to build their lives however they want 67 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 3: to without being restrained. It can really wind up messing 68 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 3: with their careers, I know, or any dreams or aspirations 69 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 3: that they had. And for me, the ability to create 70 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 3: my life and my career was so important to me 71 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 3: and also through it all, I mean, I. 72 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 1: Spent my forties as a that was. 73 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 3: Kind of the decade that I was kind of famous, 74 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 3: and I was like, oh wow, this is really fun. 75 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,000 Speaker 3: Let me take advantage of everything this has to offer. 76 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 3: And I kind of worked through that. But if I 77 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 3: had had children at that time, I would have been 78 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 3: home the whole time, and it would have been a totally. 79 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 2: Different I feel like I might have even I don't 80 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,120 Speaker 2: know if people resent their children. I don't know. I 81 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 2: don't know what they could. 82 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 3: Sure absolutely, I just know that I was in a 83 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 3: place where I was ready to be present for them 84 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 3: and grateful for it. And if you're not in that place, 85 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 3: then God, I'm so sorry you have to listen to 86 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:18,360 Speaker 3: my voice this way. Not in that place, then yeah, 87 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,840 Speaker 3: I could wind up being a different experience. 88 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,160 Speaker 1: I also think having kids later in. 89 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 3: Life it's given me the you know, I feel more 90 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 3: calm now than I've ever been, and calm is. 91 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: Not a trait that I would associate. 92 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 3: With parent who And certainly I can be a psycho 93 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 3: around my kids and I can scream and I do 94 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:45,599 Speaker 3: everything and I'm overreactive, but I definitely feel like I'm 95 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 3: way better at choosing battles and figuring out when to fold. 96 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 1: And what's important to me and what's not. So that's 97 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,040 Speaker 1: been a gift too. 98 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:59,360 Speaker 2: Wow, that's incredible. Now I'm assuming that you have been 99 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 2: in relationship before. 100 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,280 Speaker 1: My relationship history is not incredible. 101 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 2: Not incredible in that it hasn't worked out, or in 102 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,040 Speaker 2: that there have been only a few. 103 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,599 Speaker 1: Do you have a few kind of three year deals? 104 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 2: Okay? I mean you're doing better than I am. Dad. 105 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:16,560 Speaker 2: I just want to say, you're doing way better. Thank 106 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:21,240 Speaker 2: you so much. I imagine though, that you learned to some 107 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,920 Speaker 2: patients in those relationships as well. But you're like, what's 108 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,919 Speaker 2: going on with like having children in my home and 109 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,520 Speaker 2: parenthood is blowing all of that out of the water. 110 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, I mean it's not even comparable. 111 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:38,720 Speaker 2: Okay. And as you're raising your kids, are you looking 112 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 2: back at how you were raised in ways and saying 113 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 2: I want to emulate any of this or I really 114 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:45,280 Speaker 2: want to avoid this. 115 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 3: I had great parents, okay, and they're still alive. My 116 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:55,360 Speaker 3: dad's ninety three, my mom's eighty seven, I think, and 117 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 3: they just had their sixty fifth anniversary. And they were amazing. 118 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 3: My mom was so reactive, and I used to love 119 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:08,120 Speaker 3: to fuck with her, to be honest, and I just was. 120 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 3: I pulled so many pranks on her and I say 121 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:14,840 Speaker 3: stuff just to get a reaction. And the other day 122 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 3: we were at our beach house and there there's this 123 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 3: glass partition and it looked like there was suntan oil 124 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:22,839 Speaker 3: all over it. 125 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,720 Speaker 1: And I go, Ben, did you put suntan oil? I 126 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 1: was like, in a frame. He goes, that's yogurt. And 127 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 1: I said, why did you put. 128 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 3: Yogurt all over the thing? And he said because I 129 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,160 Speaker 3: knew it would make you mad? 130 00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, no, fucking. 131 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,280 Speaker 3: And so but then I real and then of course 132 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:46,720 Speaker 3: I couldn't react because then I would be giving him 133 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 3: what he wanted. And I walked away and I was like, oh, 134 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:54,599 Speaker 3: my God is in play. It is me and I 135 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:55,320 Speaker 3: deserve this. 136 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:58,480 Speaker 2: So and you knew I was going to ask you, 137 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 2: are you not worried that you're children are going to 138 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,720 Speaker 2: do what you did to your mom? 139 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 1: To you? 140 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 2: I am, And now you're seeing it, Ben has started. 141 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 2: I kind of love that, and I am sorry for you. 142 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 2: But you're right about karma. It does catch up to you. Really, 143 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 2: What was your dad like? 144 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 3: My dad is super mellow, just super calm kind. 145 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: My dad was a little bit like a TV dad. 146 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 3: My dad would okay, would say the three dreaded words 147 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 3: after dinner to me that I never wanted to hear 148 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 3: want to play catch? And I was just you know, 149 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 3: that was not my jam at all, Right, but I 150 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,800 Speaker 3: would occasionally and my mom would be like, please go 151 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 3: play catch with him, like adult your father. 152 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:52,239 Speaker 1: So my dad was great, and you know, my mom 153 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: was the My mom is a very opinionated Jewish mom. 154 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,280 Speaker 1: Jewish moms wear the pants in the family. 155 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 2: Okay, that's a major Okay, yeah, yeah. 156 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 3: You talk to any Jewish boy that you have on 157 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 3: this show, yeah, you will start to understand the psychology 158 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 3: and a Jewish man. It's And by the way, I 159 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 3: do feel like, you know, Jewish women are very strong, Okay. 160 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 3: And I do feel like, just in terms of my 161 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 3: universe of the housewives, I feel like having a Jewish 162 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 3: mom kind of prepared me for being around these very strong, dynamic. 163 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 2: Personalities every once in a while I'll meet. I feel 164 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 2: like Nigerian men are also Nigerian American. I feel like 165 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,240 Speaker 2: Nigerian men are also used to having very strong women. 166 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 3: Funny because the Nigerian I mean the Nigerian women that 167 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:47,599 Speaker 3: I know, I mean, you do not want to fuck. 168 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 1: With the Nigerian woman. You just really don't. 169 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 3: You don't, Now do you want a Nigerian man? Is 170 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 3: that important to you? 171 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 2: Not particularly No, is. 172 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 1: It important to you to be with a man of color? 173 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 2: This is a great question, and no, it's I would 174 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 2: like to. I think there are just some things inherently 175 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,679 Speaker 2: that we would understand about one another in our experiences. 176 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 2: But it's not a deal break. Yes, Andy, some people 177 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,719 Speaker 2: think I only date white guys. Yeah, do I look 178 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,679 Speaker 2: like it? But I love that you're you're asking me 179 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 2: because I don't. I'm not giving she only dates white guys. 180 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:24,080 Speaker 2: Some people assume I only date white It's rude. I 181 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 2: don't know, And I ask, what mean? 182 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 1: Just when I think that I understand the culture? 183 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, and then I say something like this, It's truly insane. 184 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:36,440 Speaker 2: I'm like, I have dated, I will date any kind 185 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,520 Speaker 2: of I want any kind of man. I mean, my 186 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 2: track record would suggest any kind of man. But I mean, 187 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,960 Speaker 2: in terms of race, I would date any kind of man. So, 188 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,320 Speaker 2: your dad's super mellow. He's kind of like a TV dad. 189 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 2: Mom wears the pants in the household. Would you say, 190 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 2: your dad, if he heard that would be upset? Okay, Yeah, 191 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:58,200 Speaker 2: that's a conversation. Okay, And he's like, yeah, was his 192 00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:58,800 Speaker 2: mom like that? 193 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 3: Do you think I think his mom died when I 194 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 3: was like in when I was in elementary school, I think, 195 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,160 Speaker 3: so I didn't know her that well, but I am 196 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 3: told that she was a very tough woman. Yes, yeah, 197 00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 3: oh for sure. That was a dynamic among his parents. 198 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 1: For sure. 199 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 3: Among my parents, my grandfather was actually more, he was stronger. 200 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 2: Really Okay, did you admire your dad when you were 201 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:30,079 Speaker 2: growing up? Yeah? 202 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh big time? 203 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:35,200 Speaker 2: Still and you still do. Yeah, incredible. He's ninety three, 204 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 2: which I'm assuming he lives a very healthy lifestyle. 205 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,000 Speaker 1: Does Yeah, yeah he does. 206 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,000 Speaker 2: And do you emulate any of that yourself? 207 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:43,959 Speaker 3: Oh? 208 00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 1: How he lived. 209 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,240 Speaker 3: I have a lot more TC in my system than 210 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:52,240 Speaker 3: he ever had, you know, I mean I don't think 211 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,679 Speaker 3: my dad's ever done poppers. 212 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so you know. 213 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,079 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm a gay guy. So we have different 214 00:10:58,160 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 1: things happening in the world. 215 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:04,080 Speaker 3: But yeah, yeah, but yeah, I mean listen, No, my 216 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 3: dad was a my dad is but really was in 217 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 3: his in his prime and athlete. 218 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,240 Speaker 1: I mean he played tennis several times a week. He 219 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 1: was a runner. I am none of that. Go to 220 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,920 Speaker 1: the gym like every gay guy. 221 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:21,000 Speaker 2: You look good to comment? Okay, but you do? Why 222 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,199 Speaker 2: do you what's your motivation? Is it? Prey? 223 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:27,120 Speaker 1: It's just health andy, Okay, yes, fair enough. 224 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,680 Speaker 2: It makes sense because honestly, working out is kind of. 225 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 1: Gay people don't not work out. They people work out, 226 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:35,440 Speaker 1: you know. 227 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,400 Speaker 2: And I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, 228 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:40,240 Speaker 2: but I feel like gay people have some amazing bodies. 229 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,280 Speaker 3: Well I do to listen, go to a high school 230 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 3: reunion and you can pick out the game because straight, uh, 231 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,439 Speaker 3: straight white guy's age very poorly. 232 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 2: Especially, But do you think it's the beer, by the way, 233 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 2: And I think. 234 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:57,440 Speaker 1: It's the beer. I think it's the hubris. 235 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 3: I think that there's I mean, you cannot. I think 236 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 3: Donald Trump thinks he has a good body. You know 237 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 3: what I mean? 238 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 2: He's fat, you know what I mean? 239 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:10,360 Speaker 4: Like these men are walking around with these bellies. But 240 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:14,360 Speaker 4: there if a tall man walks in with a belly, 241 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 4: people will be like, oh look how big you are 242 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 4: walks in with a belly. They're like, she's fat. 243 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:22,839 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not it's not fair. 244 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 2: It's not fair that even when people talk about a 245 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:28,440 Speaker 2: dad bod and guys are allowed to have dad bods, 246 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,080 Speaker 2: I think it's fine as a dadbod, but a woman 247 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,440 Speaker 2: is supposed to be an hourglass. I'm like, that's not 248 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 2: that's not fair, not fair at all. So your dad 249 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:39,079 Speaker 2: was an athlete in since that he loved running. He 250 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:42,840 Speaker 2: loved playing catch with you. When you were like reticent 251 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:45,960 Speaker 2: to play catch with him, did he express disappointment? I 252 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,319 Speaker 2: know your mom was like, okay. 253 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:47,959 Speaker 1: Okay, he didn't. 254 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 2: Okay, what was your dynamic like beyond playing catch? 255 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: The two d yes really good. It was really good. 256 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,600 Speaker 1: I mean, uh, he was. 257 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,440 Speaker 3: He took me to McDonalds every weekend to the tennis 258 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:06,120 Speaker 3: club and with him and watch him play and like 259 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,839 Speaker 3: color while he played. But then you know, that was 260 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 3: when I was like going in the locker room and 261 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:15,160 Speaker 3: looking at dudes, and so that was he didn't realize, like, 262 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:16,679 Speaker 3: I'm like, I'll go to the. 263 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 2: Tennis club with you, but Andy likes tennis that the 264 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,960 Speaker 2: locker room, well did What was it like coming out 265 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 2: to him? 266 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:31,200 Speaker 1: It was I first, my dad. 267 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 3: I I had left a letter to a friend in 268 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 3: the den and my mom found it and she thinks 269 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,959 Speaker 3: I totally left it out for her to find. 270 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:46,120 Speaker 1: And they did something they never do before dinner. This 271 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:47,200 Speaker 1: was when I was in college. 272 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,440 Speaker 3: I was home for Christmas break, and that is they 273 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:51,920 Speaker 3: went up to their room and closed the door and 274 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,880 Speaker 3: they never did that. We just wasn't our, you know, 275 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 3: and there and I was like, oh, my mom said, 276 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,520 Speaker 3: you left your letter and in the den and I 277 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:02,360 Speaker 3: was like, oh shit, like this is and I'm like, 278 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 3: now they're talking about it. And so after dinner, my 279 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,000 Speaker 3: dad went to play tennis. It was his tennis night. 280 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,679 Speaker 2: My mom came, you didn't you didn't in college at 281 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:12,160 Speaker 2: that point. 282 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,680 Speaker 3: And uh, and I said, and she said, or you know, 283 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 3: we need to talk and I told her I was 284 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 3: gay and she said I probably. 285 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,000 Speaker 1: Would have hated your wife anyway, which is a great one. 286 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 3: And then my dad came home from playing tennis and 287 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 3: he knew what I what my mom was going to 288 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 3: talk to me about. And there we were still in 289 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 3: my room where he left us two hours later earlier, 290 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,720 Speaker 3: and he goes, I said, Dad, you better, I got 291 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,040 Speaker 3: to talk to you. And he goes, I'm going to 292 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,080 Speaker 3: go eat an orange. 293 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,760 Speaker 1: So he went, he ate his orange. My mom's like, 294 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,680 Speaker 1: he's in denial already. 295 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 3: And then he came up and I said, I'm gay 296 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,280 Speaker 3: and he said, well, you know, i'm your father and 297 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,040 Speaker 3: I love you no matter what you are, which was 298 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 3: an incredible thing to hear. And then he went through 299 00:14:56,720 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 3: kind of a little thing of if your friend Jeanie 300 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 3: walked in the room naked right now, would. 301 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,600 Speaker 1: You get excited. I'm like no. He's like, what about. 302 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 2: Jackie got better, She's got a better body than Genie. 303 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,480 Speaker 3: I go, well, He's like not at all. I go, well, 304 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:18,000 Speaker 3: maybe if she like rubbed up against me, and he's like, oh, well, 305 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:21,120 Speaker 3: then I was trying to see is there any year 306 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 3: verse in which you can be straightened? And then he 307 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 3: took me to lunch a day or two later, and 308 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 3: he tried to have a talk with me about AIDS and. 309 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 1: Being protective of myself. 310 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 3: Because this was the late eighties, everybody was dying and 311 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 3: it was quite awkward but incredibly sweet that he did that. 312 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,360 Speaker 2: Did you recognize it as sweet at the time, Oh my. 313 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 1: God, I was like, this is I could have cried. 314 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 1: I just thought it was amazing. 315 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like wow, yeah, yeah, I just thought 316 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 3: it was amazing. 317 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 2: Did you always feel safe with your parents? 318 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,880 Speaker 3: But I was scared to come out. She was very 319 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 3: scared to come out. I was scared they were not 320 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 3: going to accept me. But just because it was not 321 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:07,440 Speaker 3: an age where anyone was getting accepted for being gay, so. 322 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:22,720 Speaker 5: Yeah, did you have siblings older sister did she feel close. 323 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:23,320 Speaker 2: To your dad as well? 324 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, absolutely, Okay, and then in later years she 325 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 1: went to work for the family company, so she was 326 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:30,640 Speaker 1: like working with him. 327 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,320 Speaker 2: And then you didn't work for the family I did not. 328 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:34,440 Speaker 2: What was that? 329 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,760 Speaker 1: Like, that's fine, I'm trying to be in TV. 330 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,800 Speaker 3: And they were like, well, if you want to work 331 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:42,080 Speaker 3: in the food business, you can stay here, but if 332 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 3: you want to work in TV, you're on your own. 333 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 3: We don't know anything about that. And so I just 334 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 3: made my own way doing that. 335 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,480 Speaker 2: Sure, did your dad take any curiosity or vested interest 336 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:54,800 Speaker 2: in what you were doing doing? 337 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,680 Speaker 1: Oh? He was fascinated. They both have been. And it's 338 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,240 Speaker 1: so funny. I mean, my dad, my dad is. 339 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,680 Speaker 3: A horn dog and he loves flirting with women. 340 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, Jackie, exactly. 341 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:11,440 Speaker 1: He loves it. And so. 342 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,880 Speaker 3: These last fifteen years, I'm sitting here with all these 343 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:21,240 Speaker 3: housewives with big blooms and big blonde hair and tight dresses, 344 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 3: which of course is lost on me completely. You know, 345 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:30,199 Speaker 3: my dad has met so many housewives and he, you know, 346 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,359 Speaker 3: I think he really gets to chuckle out of it, 347 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 3: and they love talking to him. 348 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,639 Speaker 1: It's very sweet. I went on. 349 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:40,119 Speaker 3: I hosted a few beauty pageants like Miss Universe and 350 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,200 Speaker 3: Miss USA. 351 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:44,199 Speaker 1: And I made My mom was like, I have no 352 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 1: I go you got every year. I was like, you 353 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:48,199 Speaker 1: guys should come to Vegas. It's kind of a trip. 354 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,000 Speaker 1: And it's like really a trip. 355 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, And my mom's like, I have no interest in 356 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,120 Speaker 3: my dad. I was saying, well, well I would come 357 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:58,440 Speaker 3: to it. And I was like, Mom, take come to Vegas. 358 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,080 Speaker 1: And so they came and it was just my dad 359 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:04,080 Speaker 1: got to meet all the you know, I mean the States. Yeah, 360 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,359 Speaker 1: hilarious and it's a little flirt. 361 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:08,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, the ladies kind of go for it. 362 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,679 Speaker 1: I love him. Super handsome guy he is. 363 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,720 Speaker 2: I'm going to ask to see your picture. 364 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:17,440 Speaker 3: After show you a picture of him. I posted one 365 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,840 Speaker 3: on Instagram the other day so it's readily available. 366 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,000 Speaker 1: He's he's a he is a. 367 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,320 Speaker 2: Very Okay, I'm about to get to see a picture 368 00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:25,160 Speaker 2: of Andy's dad. 369 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,160 Speaker 1: Show him to you when he was younger. 370 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 2: Okay, it's weird to be into your dad's dad. 371 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,040 Speaker 1: I know your dad's dad. 372 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 2: Wow, No, exactly, he's handsome. 373 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,320 Speaker 1: He is handsome. Well here he is kind of today. 374 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,480 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, but I can tell him swagger. 375 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,120 Speaker 1: Looks like an ex president. 376 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,240 Speaker 2: He does. Because that first photo you showed me, I 377 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,359 Speaker 2: felt like, looked like a young Joseph Robinette Biden, like 378 00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:53,359 Speaker 2: one of those young fellows I've seen of Joe Biden. 379 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,840 Speaker 2: Oh wow, they would have been tearing it up as 380 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,480 Speaker 2: young guys. Did he get married to your mom? Young? 381 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:00,399 Speaker 1: Young? Okay? 382 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:03,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah yeah? And was he a good husband? 383 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:04,119 Speaker 1: Yes? 384 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,560 Speaker 2: Wow, really like a TV dad and every real. 385 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:07,760 Speaker 1: It's really true. 386 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,400 Speaker 2: That's kind of blessed and charmed, I know for you. Yeah, yeah, 387 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,200 Speaker 2: that's very nice. 388 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:16,080 Speaker 1: I compare, you know, I mean, it was very. 389 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,960 Speaker 3: The t I grew up in a suburb outside of 390 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:21,240 Speaker 3: Saint Louis. It was very I've had shrinks over the 391 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:25,320 Speaker 3: years tried to mine my childhood for you know, trauma 392 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 3: and stuff, and it's pretty It was pretty basic. 393 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,440 Speaker 1: The big trauma was about me being in the closet 394 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,560 Speaker 1: and being worried I wasn't going to be accepted. 395 00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,640 Speaker 2: And then you were met with accepted. 396 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 1: And it was great, right. 397 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 2: Yeah. I started therapy for real consistently in twenty twenty, 398 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,320 Speaker 2: and my therapist at the time, I was with her 399 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:48,959 Speaker 2: for three years, but she was very much like you know, 400 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 2: you you don't have a relationship with your dad, and 401 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 2: I bet that's the root of X, Y and Z. 402 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,159 Speaker 2: And I was like, I really, I'm so open. I 403 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,720 Speaker 2: feel open. This podcast feels very vulnerable. But I'm like, 404 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 2: I don't think that that's it. That feels like too 405 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,639 Speaker 2: low hanging of fruit. 406 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,200 Speaker 1: And where was your dad? 407 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:11,080 Speaker 2: My dad was in North Carolina. My dad died last year, 408 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,119 Speaker 2: but he remarried. My parents got divorced when I was 409 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 2: a baby. Okay, yes, he remarried, moved to North Carolina, 410 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 2: had a family. 411 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,560 Speaker 1: And didn't want anything to do with you. 412 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,960 Speaker 2: I think it was more I didn't want and well, 413 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 2: you know, I think it was maybe you chose. Yes, 414 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 2: it was kind of chosen. So I didn't feel rejected 415 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,800 Speaker 2: in any way. That's another thing I should say. I 416 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,040 Speaker 2: didn't feel like rejected. It wasn't this thing where like 417 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:31,960 Speaker 2: I'm chasing dad. 418 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,840 Speaker 1: And have a great relationship with your mom. 419 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, like a very normal I would say. I feel 420 00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 2: really close to my mom. I love her. I think 421 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,879 Speaker 2: she did a fantastic job raising the four of us 422 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,280 Speaker 2: on her own. She went to med school with four kids. 423 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,400 Speaker 2: I have two brothers and a sister. Yeah, it's in screen. 424 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 1: Well, I think that. 425 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 3: Then in a way, it feels like your universe was 426 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,880 Speaker 3: that you were raised by a single mom and that 427 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,720 Speaker 3: that was your experience in life. 428 00:20:58,920 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 2: Yeah. 429 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:03,160 Speaker 1: Because my kids are not going to have a mom. Yeah, 430 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,560 Speaker 1: And in my mind. 431 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,040 Speaker 3: There's something sad about that because I have such a 432 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:11,320 Speaker 3: close relationship with my mom. But I think for them, 433 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:12,679 Speaker 3: they don't. 434 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:13,560 Speaker 1: Know any differences. 435 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,359 Speaker 3: So I think for you, you have a close relationship 436 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,480 Speaker 3: with your mom. Your mom raised you, you had a 437 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:22,399 Speaker 3: very happy family, you had a happy child. Yeah, And 438 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,960 Speaker 3: so you know, everyone has their own experience and I 439 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:31,840 Speaker 3: think I think especially now as you know, everyone is 440 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,399 Speaker 3: in touch with their feelings and everyone is you know, 441 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,239 Speaker 3: we we live where mental health is something that is 442 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,919 Speaker 3: such an important dialogue in our culture. I think, you know, 443 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,680 Speaker 3: living in a happy family with a single parent versus 444 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 3: having some fucked up relationship with your dad, I mean, 445 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,000 Speaker 3: you know, I think you got to be able to 446 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 3: lean into that the positivity of. 447 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:59,240 Speaker 2: That, Andy, I agree completely because my parents again got 448 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 2: divorced when I was a baby, right, And so I 449 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,560 Speaker 2: don't all I know is my mom raised me. I 450 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,520 Speaker 2: grew up with my siblings. Mom raised me. I don't 451 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,040 Speaker 2: know any other reality. I in fact think I made 452 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 2: like if sixteen years old my mom had gotten remarried, 453 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,399 Speaker 2: I think I would have been like, what, there's a 454 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,720 Speaker 2: man in the house. I don't know if I would 455 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,919 Speaker 2: have been able to navigate that, especially not with the 456 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,119 Speaker 2: tools I had at sixteen, But like, that's just the 457 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,199 Speaker 2: reality I knew, and I am fine with it. I 458 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,320 Speaker 2: think I had a lovely childhood. I think my mom 459 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:28,240 Speaker 2: did a great job raising us, instilled wonderful values in 460 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:32,440 Speaker 2: each of us. She was a phenom to watch in action. 461 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,680 Speaker 2: And so with your kids, in my mind, I imagine, 462 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,719 Speaker 2: just given my experience, I go, They'll go. I have 463 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,719 Speaker 2: a great dad, and I have a great relationship with 464 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 2: my dad, and that filled me up. I know that 465 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:45,359 Speaker 2: I have friends whose parents did stay together, and I've 466 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,440 Speaker 2: seen how fraud that has been for them, and what 467 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,959 Speaker 2: kind of chaos it's really created internally for them. And 468 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,000 Speaker 2: I really do think it's better to have one parent 469 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:58,200 Speaker 2: and a peaceful home than two and it's and it's 470 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,679 Speaker 2: madness or it's like a war zone. And this is 471 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,760 Speaker 2: having never raised kids and only having had my one 472 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:07,240 Speaker 2: experience and seeing other people's. But so I'm only speaking 473 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:08,879 Speaker 2: from that point of view. But I'm like, that's the 474 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:13,000 Speaker 2: sense I get. Now, your dad worked in food, in 475 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 2: the food industry, What exactly did. 476 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:19,919 Speaker 3: He do with My family had a food distribution and 477 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:25,240 Speaker 3: manufacturing company, So we sold food to hospitals, hotels, restaurants, 478 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:30,800 Speaker 3: grocery stores, airport, you know, anywhere that sold food, institutional. 479 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,159 Speaker 1: Food like okay food? 480 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,960 Speaker 2: Sure? Was that something you would say was passionate about? 481 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:34,400 Speaker 1: No? 482 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, okay, So he wasn't doing a thing he 483 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,800 Speaker 2: was passionate about. Why would you say? Yes? 484 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:44,040 Speaker 3: I think he did it because it was my mom's 485 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,640 Speaker 3: family's business and they offered him a job. 486 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,800 Speaker 1: He was working in insurance before that, which I know 487 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:54,959 Speaker 1: that he was not passionate about either. So yeah, he 488 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,640 Speaker 1: was not passionate about it, but. 489 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:58,119 Speaker 2: He did it. 490 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:00,720 Speaker 1: He did it. Yeah. 491 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,040 Speaker 2: Do you know what a passion of his is? 492 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, I mean sports? 493 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:05,879 Speaker 2: Sports? 494 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:07,679 Speaker 1: He was majorly major. 495 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,080 Speaker 2: I think he would have wanted to go pro. 496 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,560 Speaker 1: No, I mean he was not at that level. 497 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:17,040 Speaker 3: But I think what would a passion of his been professionally? 498 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,240 Speaker 1: Look, I think that. 499 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 3: His generation, he's ninety three, you know, his generation was 500 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 3: a generation where it wasn't about following your passion in life. 501 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,560 Speaker 1: It was about having a good job and supporting your family. 502 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:35,640 Speaker 3: And that's kind of you know what it was. I mean, 503 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,160 Speaker 3: I so, I just think it was a different time. 504 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:40,720 Speaker 1: Sure, I would love. 505 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,440 Speaker 3: To ask him, and I will ask him today if 506 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:46,280 Speaker 3: he could have done any job, what would he have done? 507 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, because that's what I'm curious. You guys can talk 508 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,360 Speaker 2: about anything, can't. Yeah, that's beautiful. 509 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:52,879 Speaker 1: Yeah. 510 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:53,959 Speaker 2: Does he text? 511 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:55,120 Speaker 1: Yeah? He does. 512 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:59,040 Speaker 3: We have a family text chain. We were texting during 513 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:04,040 Speaker 3: the debate the other night. We were texting about We 514 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,200 Speaker 3: text each other our wordle score every day. 515 00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:10,560 Speaker 2: Yes, sweet Andy, what a dreamy life? 516 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:11,240 Speaker 1: Sweet? 517 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. I love that so much. Do 518 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,359 Speaker 2: you have any memories of him showing up as a 519 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,040 Speaker 2: disciplinarian to you? 520 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:26,200 Speaker 1: Not really? You know, I was. My mouth was always 521 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,240 Speaker 1: getting me in trouble. And I remember. 522 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:34,960 Speaker 3: Once I got an exam, a final exam biology exam, 523 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,520 Speaker 3: ripped up after I had turned it in because I 524 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,479 Speaker 3: talked to someone else who had turned theirs in. And 525 00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:44,480 Speaker 3: once I I got kicked off the water polo team 526 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,280 Speaker 3: the day before our last game for talking while the 527 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,439 Speaker 3: coach was talking. He clearly headed in for me. But 528 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 3: in both instances, my mom kind of forced my father 529 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,679 Speaker 3: to like get involved and go to the school on 530 00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:58,600 Speaker 3: my behalf. 531 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,680 Speaker 1: Try to get these ruling has changed. 532 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:06,640 Speaker 3: There was some success with the exam, but I could 533 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,320 Speaker 3: not get reinstated on the water. 534 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,200 Speaker 2: Water this is this is in high school. The water 535 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,080 Speaker 2: polo coach really had an issue. 536 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:14,080 Speaker 1: He really did coach. 537 00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:19,240 Speaker 2: And you never forget their names. You never forget. 538 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:20,720 Speaker 1: And I was. 539 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:24,359 Speaker 3: Honored by my high school at some big event a 540 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,600 Speaker 3: few years ago, and I was making a speech, and 541 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 3: of course I told that story, and I think the 542 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,040 Speaker 3: nanatorium is named after this guy now. 543 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,720 Speaker 1: And I was saying to a friend recently, what if. 544 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,600 Speaker 3: I was like, I will give you a million dollars 545 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,600 Speaker 3: to take his name off that nandatorium and put my 546 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:41,560 Speaker 3: name on it. 547 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:42,920 Speaker 1: And I bet they would do it. 548 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,400 Speaker 2: I bet they would. Most people would do a lot 549 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,959 Speaker 2: for anything for a million dollars. And if it's just 550 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:52,000 Speaker 2: switching out a name, I mean, of course I kind 551 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 2: of want you to. 552 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:54,400 Speaker 1: It would be the ultimate troll. 553 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:57,239 Speaker 2: I mean, ultimately, is he he's maybe not still love? 554 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,000 Speaker 2: Is he still he's dead? Okay? But still his family 555 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:06,800 Speaker 2: would know that would be so in one in one 556 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,480 Speaker 2: case he had success. In another case he did not. 557 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,280 Speaker 2: What was your mom's response to that when was she 558 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,560 Speaker 2: like victory or it's like you did your part, you 559 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:16,879 Speaker 2: went and you went and did what. 560 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 3: I was curious about the water polo too, I mean 561 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:20,800 Speaker 3: my dad and I had gotten. 562 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:24,200 Speaker 1: Over it before. She yeah, yeah, to get. 563 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 2: Your mom, I get it. And so now you have 564 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:30,320 Speaker 2: your own kids, and do you hope to emulate your 565 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:31,680 Speaker 2: dad in so many ways? 566 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,439 Speaker 1: Yeah? Absolutely, I think. 567 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 3: Uh, you know one thing that I mean my dad 568 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:41,600 Speaker 3: was my dad. My dad is very impatient. That's something 569 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,520 Speaker 3: that I would like not to and he was. Sometimes 570 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:48,800 Speaker 3: his impatience would drive him to kind of lose his temper, 571 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:53,520 Speaker 3: but he was never really losing his temper at us 572 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:55,359 Speaker 3: my mom. 573 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,399 Speaker 1: Yes, but yeah, I think that there. 574 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,920 Speaker 3: Was a steadiness about him that I would like to emulate. 575 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:03,360 Speaker 2: Are you impatient at all? 576 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,080 Speaker 1: Yes? I am, Okay, yeah, and I can be. 577 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,679 Speaker 3: I mean, you know, having kids, it's a test of 578 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 3: your patience. But again, I think doing it at an 579 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 3: older age really helped me. 580 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,480 Speaker 1: I think that I am just a little more like okay, 581 00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,840 Speaker 1: well I have nowhere else to be like, you know. 582 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,679 Speaker 2: I guess yeah, we are right. Yeah, what kind of 583 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:28,760 Speaker 2: things are most stressful to you? About being a dad. 584 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,359 Speaker 1: My son not listening to me. It's really just a 585 00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:36,800 Speaker 1: drag to have your kids. 586 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,720 Speaker 3: Just not listen and trying to get them to do 587 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:41,120 Speaker 3: whatever you want them to do. 588 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 1: And I think that there's a lack of control that 589 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:45,200 Speaker 1: is really upsetting. 590 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 3: I mean, you know, kids are wild and you just 591 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:52,000 Speaker 3: cannot It's hard to control them, you know. 592 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:57,080 Speaker 1: It's like especially, I think it's about to get easier. 593 00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,640 Speaker 3: In that sense, but it will become mentally tougher because 594 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,360 Speaker 3: it's going to be a battle of the wits. 595 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:06,280 Speaker 2: And are your kids demonstrating some real wits? 596 00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:12,760 Speaker 3: Okay, my son is really smart, and yeah, I can 597 00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:16,200 Speaker 3: tell he's gonna be really formidable. And my daughter can 598 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:18,360 Speaker 3: be a bit of a drama queen sometimes, so I 599 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:19,360 Speaker 3: just think I'm in for it. 600 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,600 Speaker 2: I mean, you're used to drama queens. I too, so 601 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,840 Speaker 2: you know how you're gonna know how to have kids. 602 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:28,120 Speaker 3: Have made me more patient with the housewives, and the 603 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,080 Speaker 3: housewives have made me more patient. 604 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:33,240 Speaker 2: With the kids really, so the father daddy, it's real. 605 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,600 Speaker 2: Do any of the housewives comment that they recognize that 606 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:38,000 Speaker 2: you're you've become more patient? 607 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 1: Has I think so? Yeah? Viewers do, Okay, viewers see 608 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:45,600 Speaker 1: me on the reunion shows, they. 609 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:49,120 Speaker 3: Say, oh, look he's But then then I'll be at 610 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,560 Speaker 3: a Jersey reunion and I'll totally lose my mind. 611 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:53,120 Speaker 1: So you know, what can I say? 612 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 2: Jersey Jersey was by I just have to tell you 613 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:59,520 Speaker 2: my og favorite favor. I'm like Jersey from the ground, 614 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:04,200 Speaker 2: like I love that floor. Yes, I still quote Teresa 615 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,600 Speaker 2: and Danielle. I quote both of them frequently in my eyes. 616 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:09,320 Speaker 1: Yes. 617 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,240 Speaker 2: So what is the most enjoyable part about being a dad? 618 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:13,480 Speaker 3: For you? 619 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:18,040 Speaker 1: It is what is the most enjoyable? 620 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 3: I think just the unconditional love and sweetness. 621 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:27,120 Speaker 1: And you know, this morning I went I woke Ben 622 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:31,040 Speaker 1: up and he was just like he was just immediately 623 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,720 Speaker 1: like I love you, daddy. I love you so much, 624 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,280 Speaker 1: Like we say I love you to each other so much. 625 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:40,760 Speaker 3: And it's so nice. And I'm single right now and 626 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:45,719 Speaker 3: I'm kind of I get such love bombs from my kids. 627 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,800 Speaker 3: It's amazing. I mean, I have a child run across 628 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:50,760 Speaker 3: the room to hug you when you see each other 629 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:53,000 Speaker 3: for the first time that day. I mean it's like, 630 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 3: you know when you do get that every day I. 631 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 1: Do, and so it's amazing. 632 00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:02,160 Speaker 2: You know, have you introduced part or I had a 633 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 2: serious boyfriend. 634 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:07,880 Speaker 1: Okay, so since I've had the kids, so now I haven't. 635 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,040 Speaker 2: Do you have a rule around when the timeline I think. 636 00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:14,600 Speaker 3: It'll I think it will. I think it will be determined. 637 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,040 Speaker 3: You know, I'll figure it out. 638 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,160 Speaker 2: Do you still want partnership? 639 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I would love it, but I mean it's become 640 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:22,360 Speaker 3: less important. 641 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:25,960 Speaker 1: You know, I'm become sex positive person. 642 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,920 Speaker 3: Okay, so but like, yes, I need a I need 643 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:34,320 Speaker 3: a guy. I mean I would like a guy, but 644 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:40,680 Speaker 3: I'm pretty I have to say I now, I just 645 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:41,880 Speaker 3: feel like the older I. 646 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:44,680 Speaker 1: Get, the more said in my ways I am. And 647 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,920 Speaker 1: you know, relationships are about compromise. And I even now 648 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 1: look at my homes. 649 00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:52,520 Speaker 3: You know, I had a boyfriend when I bought my 650 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:57,040 Speaker 3: first home who was ten years younger than me. Uh 651 00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,000 Speaker 3: and he was like, well, I don't want to move 652 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,520 Speaker 3: in with you because that's not a place we got together. 653 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:07,640 Speaker 1: And I was like, you're a fucking Broadway chorus boy. 654 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,680 Speaker 3: I'm now waiting for you to buy an apartment. Yeah, yeah, 655 00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,360 Speaker 3: you know. So like, of course I always date the 656 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:22,040 Speaker 3: guys that don't want me to kind of provide for them. Interesting, 657 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:25,000 Speaker 3: of course I do because I'm not interested in someone 658 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:28,200 Speaker 3: who's like looking to be on the gravy train right right. 659 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,440 Speaker 1: On the other hand, like, you know, it would be nice. 660 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,200 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, it would be great if someone 661 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:34,520 Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I'll. 662 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:38,560 Speaker 2: Move in, right. I don't want the people. I'm just 663 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,200 Speaker 2: looking for someone to take care of me. That's not 664 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,120 Speaker 2: a cha that's not right. You have to be careful. 665 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:45,680 Speaker 2: I feel like it's someone what would be right as 666 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:49,840 Speaker 2: someone who's like, Okay, I have goals and ambitions, but 667 00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:52,760 Speaker 2: oh my gosh, Andy wants to take care of me 668 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:54,080 Speaker 2: and make my life a little easier. 669 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,240 Speaker 1: Okay, I'm not, by the way, I'm not looking to 670 00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:56,800 Speaker 1: take care of me. 671 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,600 Speaker 6: Okay, let's be clear, say what are you looking for it? 672 00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,600 Speaker 6: Can you look at the camera tell hem no. But 673 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:06,400 Speaker 6: I'm just saying in terms of that, my last boyfriend 674 00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:10,960 Speaker 6: was younger than me and I didn't have. 675 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,160 Speaker 3: A it was my pleasure to like, look, I go 676 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:18,120 Speaker 3: out to dinner a lot, so it was my pleasure 677 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:19,880 Speaker 3: to just take us to dinner all the time. 678 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,760 Speaker 1: It shouldn't feel like it did not feel. 679 00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:27,040 Speaker 3: Like a power dynamic in our relationship that I was 680 00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:30,520 Speaker 3: paying for dinner. It felt like I was like, you know, 681 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,200 Speaker 3: and occasionally like, yes, I would like you to pay 682 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,840 Speaker 3: for dinner, and he would, but it wasn't like anything. 683 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,040 Speaker 3: But I think every so often he felt you know, 684 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,320 Speaker 3: I would be like, let's go to so and so 685 00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,560 Speaker 3: for dinner, and you'd be like. He would feel bad 686 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,320 Speaker 3: because he was like, I don't want you to always 687 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:45,920 Speaker 3: feel like you have to pay for me for dinner. 688 00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:47,880 Speaker 3: That you know. 689 00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:49,480 Speaker 1: It was great, But. 690 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:53,440 Speaker 3: On the other hand, it did add a element to 691 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:56,000 Speaker 3: our relationship that didn't exist in my mind. 692 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:57,720 Speaker 1: I was like, I just want to go have fun. 693 00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:01,800 Speaker 3: With your thinking about that now exactly, but I do 694 00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 3: want someone who's conscious of it. 695 00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:04,600 Speaker 1: So it's a weird. 696 00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,520 Speaker 2: It is interesting because I know my friend and I 697 00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:09,919 Speaker 2: and I were just talking about someone we know who 698 00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:12,880 Speaker 2: is like a princess and is sort of like, I 699 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:13,560 Speaker 2: won't pull. 700 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:14,080 Speaker 1: Out my card. 701 00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:16,440 Speaker 2: I'm just not doing it. It's not happening. 702 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,799 Speaker 1: And she kind of is also different between a woman 703 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:20,279 Speaker 1: and a man. 704 00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,200 Speaker 2: I know, and I'm going to ask you advice about 705 00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,640 Speaker 2: this at the end of this episode, because end every 706 00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:26,799 Speaker 2: episode asking my dad for a piece of advice, and 707 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:30,759 Speaker 2: I do need advice from you. But she's like, I 708 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:34,399 Speaker 2: won't pull out my card. The people she's talking about, 709 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,800 Speaker 2: she won't pull her card out with. There's like two guys, 710 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:38,839 Speaker 2: two guys who are like the friend I was talking 711 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:40,959 Speaker 2: to is a gay guy. They it's just a group 712 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:43,000 Speaker 2: of people that hang out and she hangs out these 713 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:44,360 Speaker 2: two gay guys and they're. 714 00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:50,080 Speaker 1: Will pull out her card. Yeah, well she needs to. 715 00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:53,799 Speaker 2: She needs to pull her card up. 716 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,760 Speaker 1: Is she at the table? 717 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:56,280 Speaker 3: No? 718 00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,360 Speaker 2: Okay? 719 00:34:59,120 --> 00:34:59,560 Speaker 1: Exactly? 720 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:03,200 Speaker 2: Were love it for you in your dating life? I guess, 721 00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,600 Speaker 2: I guess, but like honey, and he's like, I'm not sure, man, 722 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:08,759 Speaker 2: I'm not your mom. I am a man, but I'm 723 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:10,839 Speaker 2: not sure a man. So you need to pull your 724 00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:14,279 Speaker 2: card out. And I also agree. But I say this 725 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,920 Speaker 2: to say that that notion that she's like I will 726 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,919 Speaker 2: not is pervasive through her life, and I think those 727 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,800 Speaker 2: are the ones to look out for personally. Yes, Whereas 728 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:24,600 Speaker 2: like a person who's like, oh yeah, I'd like to 729 00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:26,839 Speaker 2: be treated if Andy wants to treat me, that's so kind. 730 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:31,719 Speaker 2: I say this, they should certainly be expressing gratitude, and 731 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:32,600 Speaker 2: I say thank you. 732 00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:33,880 Speaker 1: I have not the expectation. 733 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:38,600 Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. In terms of manners for your kids, what 734 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,320 Speaker 2: are some manners that you are trying to instill. 735 00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:45,279 Speaker 3: In them cleaning up after themselves, cleaning their room. I mean, 736 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:48,480 Speaker 3: you know, my daughter's too, so she's you know, sitting 737 00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:55,200 Speaker 3: in a diaper, but you know, cleaning up after themselves. 738 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:58,359 Speaker 3: I mean, look, I had, I had a job. I 739 00:35:58,400 --> 00:35:59,319 Speaker 3: had summer. 740 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,399 Speaker 1: Jobs, like from when I was young. 741 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:07,960 Speaker 3: I it's hard because we have a really nice apartment 742 00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:10,000 Speaker 3: and we have a beach house, and I do not 743 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:11,280 Speaker 3: want them to be spoiled. 744 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:17,320 Speaker 1: I was not spoiled. I was really told the value 745 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,959 Speaker 1: of a dollar and made to respect it, and. 746 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:25,640 Speaker 3: I don't want It's also it's so weird because I 747 00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,200 Speaker 3: get sent a lot of stuff. 748 00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:30,359 Speaker 1: I get sent so many toys and. 749 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:32,640 Speaker 3: Stuff for them, and most of it I wind up 750 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:35,080 Speaker 3: giving away to charities because I don't want. 751 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:36,719 Speaker 1: Them to, you know. 752 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:40,520 Speaker 2: I think that's that's an interesting thing because I've thought about, like, oh, 753 00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:42,920 Speaker 2: my childhood is going to look different, which is me. 754 00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:45,160 Speaker 2: It is going to look different from that of the 755 00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:47,799 Speaker 2: children I have because of the position I'm in, And 756 00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,200 Speaker 2: I'm like, how does one actually navigate that? Because I 757 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:51,920 Speaker 2: don't feel like I grew up thinking the world revolved 758 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,239 Speaker 2: around me, Especially like single mom, it's like she has 759 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,160 Speaker 2: to work, she can't come to my ballet recital. And 760 00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,680 Speaker 2: as tragic as that sounds, guys, I think it was 761 00:36:58,760 --> 00:36:59,600 Speaker 2: totally okay, and it. 762 00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,239 Speaker 3: Let me know that sometimes you have to really trying to. 763 00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:07,279 Speaker 3: I don't let them win, you know, at everything. I don't, 764 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,360 Speaker 3: you know, I mean in terms of like just little 765 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,399 Speaker 3: battles or whatever getting their way. 766 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,279 Speaker 1: So I mean I do. There are a lot of 767 00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:15,759 Speaker 1: rules in my house for them. 768 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:20,279 Speaker 3: They they get timeouts if they're if they talk bad 769 00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,759 Speaker 3: or whatever. So yeah, yeah, there there's a level of 770 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,240 Speaker 3: discipline that needs that is happening in my house. 771 00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,560 Speaker 2: Does it feel like a lot of pressure for you 772 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,919 Speaker 2: Andy to be like I'm their one parent? Yes, it does. 773 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:37,040 Speaker 3: It's something that especially for the first few years of 774 00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:39,520 Speaker 3: having been it was really. 775 00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,040 Speaker 1: I did not have my sea legs about that. 776 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,000 Speaker 3: Especially as sel like went to nursery school. I felt 777 00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:50,080 Speaker 3: so I felt very vulnerable going to parent nights and stuff. 778 00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:53,040 Speaker 3: I was like, first of all, I'm famous, so I 779 00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:56,879 Speaker 3: feel weird. Yes, Second of all, I'm like the only 780 00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:59,160 Speaker 3: gay guy in the room, and I'm the only single 781 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:03,200 Speaker 3: parent in the room. So it's like, you know, but 782 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,560 Speaker 3: I feel very confident in myself. 783 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:07,960 Speaker 1: As a parent. And who I am and who I 784 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,440 Speaker 1: am to them and you know it, but. 785 00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:13,600 Speaker 3: It is it is hard being I am like the 786 00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,719 Speaker 3: good cop and the bad cop all in right, So 787 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:16,800 Speaker 3: that is really hard. 788 00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:20,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, what changed in terms of your confidence because of 789 00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:25,239 Speaker 2: the vulnerability you're describing going to like parent teacher night. Yeah, 790 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:29,040 Speaker 2: I don't have kids, but even the like oh walking 791 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,600 Speaker 2: into a space and it's like, oh, you're all looking 792 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:33,000 Speaker 2: at me because I'm famous, that resonates to some extent. 793 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,400 Speaker 2: And so I'm like, how did you make the shift 794 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:38,560 Speaker 2: now to feeling confident and being like owning this whole experience? 795 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:42,799 Speaker 1: I think just doing it, you know what I mean? Yeah, 796 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:43,399 Speaker 1: I mean, you know. 797 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:46,799 Speaker 3: It's never as it's never as hard as it is 798 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:47,600 Speaker 3: the first time. 799 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,799 Speaker 1: And so I've now done it a few times, you know, 800 00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,280 Speaker 1: and it also everything. 801 00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:56,520 Speaker 3: But listen, he's in this nursery school for two years 802 00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:58,879 Speaker 3: and then it's done. I just and again I think 803 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:02,560 Speaker 3: it's it's it's about being like a later in life dad. 804 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,600 Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, well this is not the be all 805 00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:06,920 Speaker 1: end all. Here's this now and. 806 00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,600 Speaker 3: Let's you know, I just have to make sure my 807 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,239 Speaker 3: kid is safe and learns manners, and you know, it 808 00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,960 Speaker 3: was a good person, so you know, I'll do that. 809 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:18,680 Speaker 3: I was getting him from his last day of nursery school. 810 00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,640 Speaker 3: He's in kindergarten now, last May, and this mom was 811 00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:24,440 Speaker 3: like we were waiting to go pick the kids up, 812 00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:27,400 Speaker 3: and she was in front with me and she was 813 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:30,160 Speaker 3: super emotional and she's like, I don't think I'm gonna 814 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:30,520 Speaker 3: be able to. 815 00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:33,720 Speaker 1: Keep it together, like it's the last day in nursery school. 816 00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,759 Speaker 1: And I go, You're gonna be fun. This is not 817 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:37,399 Speaker 1: a big deal. 818 00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,400 Speaker 3: And of course I went in and they're like, okay, 819 00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,759 Speaker 3: you can clean his coby out. And I'm cleaning his 820 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:46,360 Speaker 3: coby out and I'm like, look at all these art projects. 821 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:51,440 Speaker 1: I start sobbing. No for no, I didn't care. 822 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,080 Speaker 3: I start putting these away and I'm getting emotional. And 823 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:56,239 Speaker 3: then I went and got him in the in the 824 00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,279 Speaker 3: yard and then he went over with me to say 825 00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:02,440 Speaker 3: goodbye to his teacher and he's like thank you. And 826 00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:05,480 Speaker 3: then we're walking out and we're holding hands and I 827 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:06,880 Speaker 3: was i my sunglasses on. 828 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:08,640 Speaker 1: I was sobbing. 829 00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,879 Speaker 3: I was like and then we walk out and we're 830 00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:12,960 Speaker 3: walking down the street and he doesn't see that I'm 831 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,839 Speaker 3: crying because I'm like keeping it in and then he goes, 832 00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,640 Speaker 3: wait a minute, daddy, am I never going back to 833 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:19,280 Speaker 3: that school? 834 00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:24,200 Speaker 1: And then I, oh no, And then he just turned 835 00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:25,920 Speaker 1: to me and gave me the biggest tuget was. 836 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:30,080 Speaker 2: Like, very my goodness. Kids are so comforting. Who yeah, 837 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,160 Speaker 2: but they're so intuitive in that way. It's so that's 838 00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:37,400 Speaker 2: really really special. I mean, is it really important for 839 00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:39,400 Speaker 2: you to show up as much as you can for 840 00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:40,799 Speaker 2: all of those milestones like that? 841 00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:45,160 Speaker 1: Yeah? I and I I weirdly I've been able to 842 00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:46,439 Speaker 1: for most of them. 843 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,120 Speaker 2: Is it one of those later in life things where 844 00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:50,600 Speaker 2: you're like, I have established enough and you are yeah. 845 00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:53,160 Speaker 3: I mean, look if I have a reunion show on 846 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:55,040 Speaker 3: the day of our recital, and I'm going to. 847 00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:58,520 Speaker 2: Go to the reunion show, okay, I support that to 848 00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:00,360 Speaker 2: be clear that you asked my opinion, and I'm like 849 00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:05,240 Speaker 2: a girl working, I'm like, yeah, I now everything. 850 00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:06,800 Speaker 1: I will send someone else. 851 00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:11,720 Speaker 3: There was a Christmas recital or something at his nursery. 852 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:15,040 Speaker 1: School, and I sent his godmother and I couldn't go. 853 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:21,280 Speaker 3: And then the next year I went and the teacher said, 854 00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:23,600 Speaker 3: I'm so glad you were able to make it. I 855 00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:26,000 Speaker 3: remember last year you weren't here, and I was like 856 00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:32,040 Speaker 3: what And I was like, by the way, I had 857 00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:36,799 Speaker 3: forgotten that I wasn't and Ben had probably completely and 858 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:40,440 Speaker 3: by the way, it sucks, like I was like, this 859 00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:44,200 Speaker 3: is what it was to get a cookie, you know. 860 00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:46,640 Speaker 1: I was like, okay, well that was fine, Like it 861 00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:48,160 Speaker 1: was twenty minutes. 862 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:52,600 Speaker 2: I'm glad you look up that. That was a little 863 00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:54,080 Speaker 2: shady granny. 864 00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:56,440 Speaker 1: Also in my mind was like, would you be saying 865 00:41:56,480 --> 00:42:00,920 Speaker 1: that to a mom? Like a single would not be 866 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,080 Speaker 1: saying that. There's some hits I take for being like 867 00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:05,560 Speaker 1: a gay guy. People don't know what to say to me, 868 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:06,240 Speaker 1: so they say. 869 00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:08,839 Speaker 2: The wrong they say they say the absolute wrong thing, 870 00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:11,040 Speaker 2: and they don't think it through and go would you 871 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:12,960 Speaker 2: say that to a single mom? Would you say that 872 00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:15,279 Speaker 2: to a mom? Would you say that to a working mom? 873 00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:18,040 Speaker 2: I don't think you would, or if you did, you'd 874 00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,640 Speaker 2: know you'd get some you get some pushback on that 875 00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,440 Speaker 2: if you did. Do they have they have like an 876 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:27,440 Speaker 2: amazing nanny they do, okay, And how heavily do you 877 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:30,920 Speaker 2: rely on? Yeah? What a god sent? 878 00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:35,439 Speaker 3: By the way, it's a it is a ah. 879 00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:41,760 Speaker 1: It truly does take a village. And I have friends 880 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:47,200 Speaker 1: in the building. And I have good my good girlfriends, 881 00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:51,280 Speaker 1: Jeanie and Jackie. My dad is Jackie is his godmother. 882 00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:55,920 Speaker 3: Those years ago, and so I mean he's the Other 883 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,480 Speaker 3: thing that's so important for me for my kids is 884 00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:01,680 Speaker 3: that they're surrounded by strong women because. 885 00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:03,400 Speaker 1: I want them. They don't have a mom, but I 886 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:05,080 Speaker 1: want them to have a lot of strong women in 887 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,160 Speaker 1: their lives. And they do and they love them. 888 00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:10,200 Speaker 2: Yeah. I well, so when I'm saying like not wasn't 889 00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:11,839 Speaker 2: raised by a dad. I wasn't raised by a dad, 890 00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:14,279 Speaker 2: just my mom. But I had a lot of male 891 00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,680 Speaker 2: figures in my life and my uncles and such, and 892 00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:19,799 Speaker 2: they were fantastic. And so I also don't have this 893 00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,520 Speaker 2: sort of like TV movie trope of like and now 894 00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:23,200 Speaker 2: I hate. 895 00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,000 Speaker 4: Men and I have they're bad. 896 00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:26,080 Speaker 3: Yeah. 897 00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:28,560 Speaker 2: I had a lot of wonderful men around me when 898 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:30,920 Speaker 2: I was growing up. I was so grateful for that. 899 00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:37,120 Speaker 2: Is there anything you're so absolutely nervous about with your kids, 900 00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:39,600 Speaker 2: like driving? What that's going to be like once they 901 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:40,800 Speaker 2: learn their New Yorkers? 902 00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:45,800 Speaker 3: Oh my god, I don't know. I mean that's now, 903 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:47,799 Speaker 3: that's eleven years away. 904 00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:49,040 Speaker 2: Okay, you have time drive? 905 00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:52,600 Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeahah, I have time for that, Yeah, the phones 906 00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:53,560 Speaker 1: make me nervous. 907 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:58,240 Speaker 3: Phones and we've seen how phones mess up kids. 908 00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,920 Speaker 1: And there's a whole generation of kids were super anxious. 909 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:06,440 Speaker 3: Right now because of their relationship with social media and phones, 910 00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:12,440 Speaker 3: and so that's that worries me. And I'm hoping because 911 00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:14,600 Speaker 3: there are so many kind of that this is now 912 00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:17,840 Speaker 3: a whole movement against kids with phones. I'm hoping that 913 00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:18,799 Speaker 3: by the time he's in. 914 00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:22,480 Speaker 1: Seventh grade, there's that's really changed. 915 00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:25,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, which is when I got my first phone, which 916 00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:28,600 Speaker 2: is I had the Nokia brick phone. I don't but 917 00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,440 Speaker 2: you couldn't really do anything exactly, couldn't do anything on it. 918 00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:33,799 Speaker 2: But I think about this too. Not a parent here, 919 00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:37,400 Speaker 2: I've said it a million times, everyone knows, but I'm like, 920 00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:40,080 Speaker 2: if I didn't want my kid to be like addicted 921 00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:41,520 Speaker 2: to their phone, and I wanted them to have a 922 00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:44,279 Speaker 2: childhood that looked a little bit more like mine. Yes, 923 00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:46,440 Speaker 2: before phones were such a thing, they'd go outside and 924 00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:49,719 Speaker 2: me playing and make things up. Yes, how bad would 925 00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:51,279 Speaker 2: I feel with holding a phone from them? 926 00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:51,560 Speaker 1: Though? 927 00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:54,239 Speaker 2: If nine the class makes it. 928 00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:56,719 Speaker 3: I know, Yeah, that's why it would be great if 929 00:44:56,719 --> 00:44:58,800 Speaker 3: this is a whole yeh movement. 930 00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:02,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, hope. So I'm hoping for the future that made 931 00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:06,240 Speaker 2: the kids have that. Is there something that's really important 932 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:10,160 Speaker 2: to you to in part to your children and you know, 933 00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:12,560 Speaker 2: cleaning up after themselves. We know you want to teach 934 00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:14,719 Speaker 2: them manners, but in terms of like a piece of 935 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,439 Speaker 2: advice or wisdom that you want your children to walk 936 00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:18,399 Speaker 2: through this world with. 937 00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:24,520 Speaker 3: I think it's about valuing money and respecting all people. 938 00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:25,439 Speaker 1: Yeah. 939 00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:32,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, my mom always my mom was like she worked 940 00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:33,600 Speaker 3: with juvenile delinquents. 941 00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,399 Speaker 1: She made us come to this Juvie center she. 942 00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:39,560 Speaker 3: Worked at with all these bad kids because she wanted 943 00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:40,080 Speaker 3: to see. 944 00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:43,160 Speaker 1: What would happen. Yeah, she wanted to show us. Yeah 945 00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,240 Speaker 1: you know this is what happens. 946 00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:49,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, but we so, I mean, I think just and 947 00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:51,120 Speaker 3: I think that's why I. 948 00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:53,359 Speaker 1: Think living in New York is a great you know, 949 00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:54,280 Speaker 1: melting pot. 950 00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:58,719 Speaker 2: Yes, are you going to encourage them to take public transportation? 951 00:45:59,239 --> 00:45:59,560 Speaker 1: Yeah? 952 00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:03,239 Speaker 2: Yeah, already Okay, yes, people, I still ride the train, 953 00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:06,919 Speaker 2: Andy And yeah, okay, cool. Why do people Okay, see 954 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:09,600 Speaker 2: I didn't think it was worth mentioning, but yeah, so 955 00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,400 Speaker 2: many people go, oh you still ride the train. You 956 00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:16,280 Speaker 2: ride the train, And I go, why the fast I've lived. 957 00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:18,440 Speaker 3: In New York for twenty years before I was famous, 958 00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:22,240 Speaker 3: and so I'm like, I'm not going to start start 959 00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:27,240 Speaker 3: living differently now famous. This is I go to serious 960 00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,560 Speaker 3: XM twice a week, and I take the subway because 961 00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:29,920 Speaker 3: it's the. 962 00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:32,080 Speaker 1: Fastest way to get there. 963 00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:33,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I've run. 964 00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,319 Speaker 1: I take the subway to the theater, you know, Yeah, 965 00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:35,960 Speaker 1: of course. 966 00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:39,359 Speaker 2: Yeah. I lived in LA for twelve years and there 967 00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:41,840 Speaker 2: is no public transportation. Well I guess there is, but 968 00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:45,560 Speaker 2: it's not reliable, right, And so I'm like, I love 969 00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:48,320 Speaker 2: the fact that the train is available to me too. Andy, 970 00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:51,840 Speaker 2: You've been an amazing dad. Thank you to Lucy, Ben 971 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:56,920 Speaker 2: and me, thank you, and then the world. I end 972 00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,520 Speaker 2: each episode asking for a piece of dad vice. I 973 00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:01,879 Speaker 2: came up with that today at midnight, wrote it down 974 00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:04,600 Speaker 2: because I said, I'm gonna forget this. Yes, so, but 975 00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:07,000 Speaker 2: I asked everyone for a piece of dadvice. Something going 976 00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:10,160 Speaker 2: on in my life, or not going on in my life, 977 00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,000 Speaker 2: but something I'm contemplating that I think a dad could 978 00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:14,520 Speaker 2: help guide me in the right direction on. And you 979 00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:16,120 Speaker 2: may or may not be an expert, but you have 980 00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:20,359 Speaker 2: to at least pretend to be an expert. I am 981 00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:22,960 Speaker 2: out of the dating game. Let's just start there. But 982 00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,399 Speaker 2: should I re enter the dating game? 983 00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:32,320 Speaker 1: Do you want a boyfriend? Yeah? 984 00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:35,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, I yes, I think you just answered no. 985 00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:37,839 Speaker 1: No, let's dial back. 986 00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:39,960 Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's I think we need to 987 00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,160 Speaker 3: figure out what do you want from your life? 988 00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:43,640 Speaker 1: You frozen your eggs? 989 00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:43,839 Speaker 2: Yes? 990 00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:47,480 Speaker 3: Is your goal to have children with someone else? Or 991 00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:51,200 Speaker 3: is your goal to have children as a single mom. 992 00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,160 Speaker 2: I thought I would be open to being a single mom, okay, 993 00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,759 Speaker 2: and then I this is gonna sound basic, but I 994 00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,120 Speaker 2: but it's just the truth. And then I got a 995 00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:03,360 Speaker 2: okay by myself, a puppy. A puppy he was, and 996 00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:05,160 Speaker 2: I go, oh no, I can't do this on my own. 997 00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:07,800 Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, well you know a puppy is a good 998 00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:10,720 Speaker 3: gateway to children. 999 00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:12,919 Speaker 1: Because he teaches you. Okay, I have to think about 1000 00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:14,480 Speaker 1: someone else before myself. 1001 00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:16,400 Speaker 2: And blah blah, yeah plans. 1002 00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:18,959 Speaker 3: So I think that. 1003 00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:21,040 Speaker 1: Listen. 1004 00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:24,640 Speaker 3: I think if your goal is to raise children with 1005 00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:29,240 Speaker 3: someone else, then I think you need to put. 1006 00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:29,960 Speaker 1: Yourself on Raya. 1007 00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:34,200 Speaker 2: Raya. But Raya is like Instagram. There's nothing going on. 1008 00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:36,759 Speaker 2: People go on there for dopamine hits. And do you 1009 00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:38,319 Speaker 2: have anyone you want to set me up with? 1010 00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:39,160 Speaker 1: I don't. 1011 00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:44,319 Speaker 3: I'm on but let me say this. I'm on Raya, Hinge, Tinder, 1012 00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:47,120 Speaker 3: I'm on everything and. 1013 00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:50,000 Speaker 2: Do people to report your profile though, And that's not really. 1014 00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:52,200 Speaker 1: I've been reported on Grinder a. 1015 00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:54,880 Speaker 2: Lot, not for bad behavior, just like this isn't really. 1016 00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:56,279 Speaker 1: The Grinder. 1017 00:48:57,960 --> 00:48:58,480 Speaker 2: What happens. 1018 00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:03,200 Speaker 1: Yes, no, I've been reported there. But I think you 1019 00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:05,440 Speaker 1: can either get verified on Hinge. 1020 00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:08,880 Speaker 3: I may be verified on Hinge. You can get verified 1021 00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:12,200 Speaker 3: on Tinder. I'm on Tinder, and the thing about it is, 1022 00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:14,720 Speaker 3: there are you know. I've been after Gail King forever 1023 00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:17,279 Speaker 3: who really wants a man? And I've been like, you 1024 00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:19,920 Speaker 3: need to get on the apps. And the thing is 1025 00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:23,799 Speaker 3: there's no shame in it, and you only interact with 1026 00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,759 Speaker 3: people who you both have swiped on, so it's like 1027 00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:32,239 Speaker 3: there's no rejection. It's only only oh, I matched with 1028 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:35,040 Speaker 3: that person, you know what I mean. So I think 1029 00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:39,120 Speaker 3: that it is it may be a good exercise for 1030 00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:43,600 Speaker 3: you to consider going on an app and swiping around 1031 00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:43,920 Speaker 3: to me and. 1032 00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:47,280 Speaker 1: This guy looks you know, this guy looks interesting. 1033 00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:48,160 Speaker 2: I have a question. 1034 00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:49,080 Speaker 1: I think it will hold on. 1035 00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,520 Speaker 3: I think it will be a very positive exercise for 1036 00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:55,520 Speaker 3: you to follow through on saying yes, I will meet 1037 00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:56,280 Speaker 3: you for a drink. 1038 00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:58,800 Speaker 1: Don't meet anyone for dinner. And I'm not sure I 1039 00:49:58,800 --> 00:49:59,920 Speaker 1: wouldn't meant anyone. 1040 00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,799 Speaker 3: For coffe And I would always say, just listen, I 1041 00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:04,560 Speaker 3: can meet you for a drink, but I have a 1042 00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:05,480 Speaker 3: dinner to go to. 1043 00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:08,000 Speaker 1: And then and you just keep it to an hour. 1044 00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:11,720 Speaker 1: Then you always have an out yes, okay, okay. 1045 00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:15,560 Speaker 3: And then you also drinks loosen us up. And for me, 1046 00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:19,200 Speaker 3: I always go in with my guard up a little bit, 1047 00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:21,520 Speaker 3: and after I have a little drink, I start to 1048 00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:24,920 Speaker 3: look at the person as a person and I'm like, 1049 00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:30,040 Speaker 3: you know what, this person seems kind or they seem smart, 1050 00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:33,960 Speaker 3: or I can I'm able to see some attributes about 1051 00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:37,360 Speaker 3: that person that me, with all my walls maybe would 1052 00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:37,759 Speaker 3: not be. 1053 00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:38,520 Speaker 1: Able to see. 1054 00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:42,960 Speaker 2: Okay, so have a drink and loosen up. Get okay, well, 1055 00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:46,040 Speaker 2: first get on the apps. You go out for a drink, 1056 00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:48,680 Speaker 2: not dinner. This is funny because I was always like, 1057 00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,960 Speaker 2: it's got to be dinner I deserve. But even if 1058 00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,240 Speaker 2: I'm like really enjoying it, and it's just I should 1059 00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:54,879 Speaker 2: keep it to an hour. 1060 00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:58,560 Speaker 3: Like no, no, if you if you're with someone and 1061 00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:02,560 Speaker 3: you're actually having a great time, and you're like, you 1062 00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:05,040 Speaker 3: know what, like this is a real person and we 1063 00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:06,120 Speaker 3: are really connecting. 1064 00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:09,480 Speaker 1: Then you absolutely say, you know what, I don't have 1065 00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:11,640 Speaker 1: a dinner. I lied? Do you want to get something 1066 00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:12,520 Speaker 1: to eat? That's all? 1067 00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:15,479 Speaker 2: Okay? How are people reacting when you go I lied? 1068 00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:17,879 Speaker 2: Are they fine? They're like, okay, ha, ha's funny. 1069 00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:22,520 Speaker 1: Usually one more. Yeah, No, they're they like it. 1070 00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:25,120 Speaker 3: They're happy because it means, oh, we have more time. 1071 00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:28,319 Speaker 3: You know, means you're validating whatever is happening there. 1072 00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:32,200 Speaker 2: Okay, okay, see I My thing is I find it. 1073 00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:35,200 Speaker 2: I find for I feel like Riya is just better 1074 00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:36,200 Speaker 2: for dudes, right. 1075 00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:38,799 Speaker 3: I know, I think Raya is ridiculous, and I think 1076 00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:42,640 Speaker 3: you're totally right about Ryo. Rya is basically Instagram Instagram, Right, 1077 00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:47,719 Speaker 3: So Instagram is a great way to meet guys, and 1078 00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:49,080 Speaker 3: I do what do I do? 1079 00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:53,319 Speaker 1: Send a fire emoji? Okay, yeah you do. I have 1080 00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:53,959 Speaker 1: sent more. 1081 00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:58,000 Speaker 3: And by the way, I've met some really like hot 1082 00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:02,560 Speaker 3: good guys on Instagram for me sending a fire emoji. 1083 00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:04,120 Speaker 2: Send a fire emotion and a fire. 1084 00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:07,680 Speaker 1: Emoji, and then maybe send uh the next thing that 1085 00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:12,120 Speaker 1: says too much question mark and see how they respond. 1086 00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,319 Speaker 2: Wait, Okay, I like this. I like this. Do I 1087 00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:19,160 Speaker 2: need to follow as well? Or can I just say? 1088 00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:20,360 Speaker 1: Are you private or public? 1089 00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:22,040 Speaker 2: I'm public? Yeah, oh too? 1090 00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:23,160 Speaker 1: And then it. 1091 00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:25,760 Speaker 3: Will go in their thing and if they're checking their people, 1092 00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:28,880 Speaker 3: who don't you know dms from people, someone will be 1093 00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:32,120 Speaker 3: flattered to get a fucking fire emoji from you. 1094 00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:35,359 Speaker 2: Okay, thank you, Andy. But here's another question because now, okay, so, 1095 00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:38,840 Speaker 2: because everything you're saying, it's counter to what my intuition 1096 00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:41,800 Speaker 2: says I should do. So if I'm not going to follow, 1097 00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:43,680 Speaker 2: but I've watched their story, you think that's fine? If 1098 00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:45,640 Speaker 2: they can tell I watch their story, but I don't 1099 00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:47,360 Speaker 2: follow them, her cares. Okay. 1100 00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:49,040 Speaker 1: So the thing about it is. 1101 00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:52,680 Speaker 3: It's all one big who cares to me? Because like, 1102 00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,520 Speaker 3: you have no skin in the game. You don't know 1103 00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:58,719 Speaker 3: this person so great and he's going to tell his 1104 00:52:58,719 --> 00:53:00,680 Speaker 3: friends that you watch your story. 1105 00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:03,920 Speaker 1: Great, dude, go think about that and be excited about it. 1106 00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:04,640 Speaker 1: What do I care? 1107 00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:07,479 Speaker 3: You're never thinking of this person again if you see 1108 00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:12,080 Speaker 3: something you don't like, Like, there's no people take I 1109 00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:16,960 Speaker 3: think especially women. I have some girlfriends who I'm like. 1110 00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:22,040 Speaker 1: Why is this? This doesn't this is all meaningless. 1111 00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:27,880 Speaker 3: Until it's not so until it's not. You're in control, 1112 00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:31,520 Speaker 3: you own it. You're on the fishing hunt everyone. You 1113 00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:33,759 Speaker 3: don't have to be vulnerable, you don't have to be. 1114 00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:38,040 Speaker 1: You're in control, and you you just go on your 1115 00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:41,400 Speaker 1: scavenger hunt. You go looking for your guy, and you 1116 00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:43,520 Speaker 1: go get what it is. Okay, you want? 1117 00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:47,440 Speaker 2: Can I say that I like that way of thinking. 1118 00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:50,719 Speaker 2: I'd like to approach dating that way. But then there's 1119 00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:53,000 Speaker 2: a part of me that goes as a woman who 1120 00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:56,319 Speaker 2: is pretty alpha, and I think would enjoy a man 1121 00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:59,120 Speaker 2: who took a little bit more initiative and took charge 1122 00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:02,040 Speaker 2: and was alpha, could kind of make me be allow 1123 00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,800 Speaker 2: me to be a little more beta in the dynamic. 1124 00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:09,279 Speaker 2: I worry about initiating, either turning them off or even 1125 00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:11,960 Speaker 2: initiating and setting now the tone that is like I'm 1126 00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:13,440 Speaker 2: the If it's. 1127 00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:15,400 Speaker 1: The right guy, then you'll figure out your rhythm. 1128 00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:15,719 Speaker 2: Ok. 1129 00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:17,759 Speaker 3: You have to get in the game, you know what 1130 00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:21,040 Speaker 3: I mean. I understand that that's I think a super 1131 00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:26,400 Speaker 3: valid point, But I think if if this guy, I 1132 00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:30,560 Speaker 3: think any guy would be like fuck yeah, look I 1133 00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:33,800 Speaker 3: just got a finer emoji from her, like this is amazing. 1134 00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:37,960 Speaker 3: So I think that that would be that's the right response. 1135 00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:41,719 Speaker 3: And if some guy is so all up in himself 1136 00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:45,319 Speaker 3: that's like this girl's reaching out to me, then you 1137 00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:47,600 Speaker 3: don't want that person, so you can you know, then 1138 00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:50,680 Speaker 3: that's not gonna work, right of course. And I think 1139 00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:55,520 Speaker 3: that every all the platelets will fall in place once 1140 00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:59,000 Speaker 3: you start to talk with a person and you can 1141 00:54:59,080 --> 00:55:02,880 Speaker 3: say to someone, look, I'm not usually this forward, but yeah, 1142 00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:06,080 Speaker 3: I thought you were handsome, and I you know, you're 1143 00:55:06,080 --> 00:55:08,120 Speaker 3: not looking at my profiles. So here you go. 1144 00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:11,160 Speaker 2: Andy, You're going to get me in the game. You're 1145 00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:13,520 Speaker 2: going to get me. Think it okay, all right? 1146 00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:19,240 Speaker 3: I like your head, you know, take all those preconceived 1147 00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:22,239 Speaker 3: notions of what a woman should do that doesn't. 1148 00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:24,160 Speaker 2: Exist anymore, right, you just go for it. 1149 00:55:24,239 --> 00:55:26,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, you froze your eggs. You're in control. 1150 00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:28,400 Speaker 2: I actually am. And it has been nice to go. 1151 00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:31,480 Speaker 2: There's no rush now, it's true. And I get to 1152 00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:33,920 Speaker 2: do this in the timing that I like and I need. 1153 00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:36,880 Speaker 2: I get to truly take my time to find the 1154 00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:40,560 Speaker 2: right person. True, and that feels nice and empowering. Andy, 1155 00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:42,719 Speaker 2: you have been an amazing dad for the day. 1156 00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:43,440 Speaker 1: Thank you. 1157 00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:52,040 Speaker 2: You're a great daddy. Did that it was like sexy? 1158 00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,640 Speaker 2: Why was my dad so sexy? Thank you so much 1159 00:55:55,719 --> 00:55:57,040 Speaker 2: Andy for being here? 1160 00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:01,719 Speaker 1: Can I kiss you? Just kidding? Yes? He made he. 1161 00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:10,520 Speaker 2: Of course, of course. Thanks. Dat is a Headgum podcast 1162 00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:13,640 Speaker 2: created and hosted by me Ago Wodhem. The show is 1163 00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:16,880 Speaker 2: produced and edited by Anita Flores and engineered by Anita 1164 00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:21,480 Speaker 2: Flores and Anya Kanevskaya, with executive producer Emma Foley. Katie 1165 00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:24,640 Speaker 2: Moose is our VP of Content and Headgum special thanks 1166 00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:27,200 Speaker 2: to Jason Atheni for our show Aren't and Paris Mashi 1167 00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:30,560 Speaker 2: for our theme song. For more podcasts by Headgum, visit 1168 00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:34,000 Speaker 2: headgum dot com or wherever you use be your favorite shows. 1169 00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:37,880 Speaker 2: Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, and maybe, just 1170 00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:40,879 Speaker 2: maybe we'll read it on a future episode.