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Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental Wealth podcast

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Speaker 1: Build you from the inside out.

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Speaker 2: Now here's Jay Glacier.

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Speaker 1: Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer.

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Speaker 1: I'm Jay Glazer. It's a special holiday edition. So the

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Speaker 1: guests today are you and me. What I want to

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Speaker 1: do here is I know the holidays.

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Speaker 2: Are hard for a lot of us, and I.

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Speaker 1: Always wanted looking back now, I wish the guy i'm

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Speaker 1: now could help the guy was back then to get

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Speaker 1: through some of these holidays. Holidays are difficult for a

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Speaker 1: lot of us. A lot of times them with family

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Speaker 1: is hard. A lot of times loneliness is hard.

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Speaker 2: It hits us hard. So what I want to try

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Speaker 2: and do today is see.

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Speaker 1: Where I can help, See if I can coach, See

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Speaker 1: if I can maybe inspire people to make these holidays

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Speaker 1: a little bit easier for all of us.

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Speaker 2: And some of the things that have kind of helped

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Speaker 2: me along the way.

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Speaker 1: So, first of all, one of the things that we

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Speaker 1: could really do for people who and I'll get into

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Speaker 1: people who could be triggered in a second, but there's

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Speaker 1: holidays where I didn't go anywhere else or I had

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Speaker 1: to work, and you know, that kind of that loneliness

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Speaker 1: on those holidays gets to Even though I knew I

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Speaker 1: was working, it still kind of got to me, and

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Speaker 1: the loneliness was really hard. So what I try to

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Speaker 1: do on those years is I decide I'm going to

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Speaker 1: go be of service and I would go feed the

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Speaker 1: homeless during Thanksgiving. I would go to shelters to help

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Speaker 1: during Thanksgiving in the past. Also, I've got a military

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Speaker 1: basis and that was through Fox. But my point is,

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Speaker 1: if you're of service, it really takes away And this

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Speaker 1: is a big goal of mine in dealing with the

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Speaker 1: great dealing with your depression and anxiety. When we're of service,

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Speaker 1: it cuts through that gray and it gets us to

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Speaker 1: see the blue. Well, no better time for you to

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Speaker 1: be of service than the holidays and say it on yourself.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm going to actually celebrate, celebrate myself by

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Speaker 1: being of service helping others.

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Speaker 2: It could be an animal shelter, whatever it is, figure

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Speaker 2: it out.

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Speaker 1: When I was really broke in New York City, you know,

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Speaker 1: I had a bartend on the holidays and there was

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Speaker 1: a Barcoe let's make a dacorate at the South Street Seaport.

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Speaker 1: I would then go get food and I would go

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Speaker 1: out and hand them to the homeless, and I'd be like,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have Thanksgiving with them. How as that sounds

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Speaker 1: some of the best Thanksgivings I've had, people.

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Speaker 2: Will really appreciate that.

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Speaker 1: And again, when you were of service, it's really hard

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Speaker 1: to tell you bad things about yourself. So right now

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Speaker 1: on holiday times, we tend to beat up on ourselves

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Speaker 1: a lot if we are alone or when your service.

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Speaker 1: The roommates in your head don't get that voice. The

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Speaker 1: roommates in your head don't get to set the narrative.

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Speaker 1: So I can't tell you enough how important that is.

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Speaker 1: And by the way, even if you do have somewhere

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Speaker 1: to go, figure out a place, something some way, you

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Speaker 1: could still be of service because you have that in

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Speaker 1: your back pocket. No matter what, it really helps us

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Speaker 1: during the holidays. Number two, lean into your teammates. You

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Speaker 1: hear me say this all the time. And what I

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Speaker 1: mean by this is, even before you're gonna go where

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Speaker 1: you're gonna go.

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Speaker 2: Call your boys, call your home girls.

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Speaker 1: Call your sisters, your brothers, call your people and say, listen,

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Speaker 1: this may be a hard one for me.

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Speaker 2: Are you gonna be available? Can I talk to you

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Speaker 2: if they are. If I need to take a step away,

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Speaker 2: can I holler?

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Speaker 1: Because a lot of times too somebody will say absolutely

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Speaker 1: and they needed it also, So lean into your teammates,

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Speaker 1: really lean in. Also, like I'm saying, at a time

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Speaker 1: like this, going into it, if you know that you're

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Speaker 1: gonna go, let's see family and it's gonna trigger you,

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Speaker 1: talk to your crew about it. Talk to your crew

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Speaker 1: about it going in, get ideas from them. How could

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Speaker 1: I better handle this? How could I better not get

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Speaker 1: beat up? How can I prevent myself from from going

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Speaker 1: down these rabbit holes? So have these talks immediately, Immediately

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Speaker 1: call your crew, lean into your teammates a look in.

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Speaker 1: When I'm really struggling, I call two people used to

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Speaker 1: be for but two people to tell them I'm struggling,

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Speaker 1: and then two people to not tell him I'm struggling,

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Speaker 1: just to check up on them, because that's being of service.

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Speaker 1: So it's another thing, right, if you're having difficulties the holidays,

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Speaker 1: just call some of your teammates, check up on them,

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Speaker 1: see how they're doing. It's another way for you to

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Speaker 1: be of service. But it's keeping you connected to your teammates,

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Speaker 1: and that's protecting your own sanity. It's building your own

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Speaker 1: fortress about what can keep you happy and keep you safe.

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Speaker 1: The whole point is we got to keep ourselves safe here.

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Speaker 1: Number three, Stay in your rituals. I now I have

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Speaker 1: all these rituals, breath work, meditation, gratitude list, working out.

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Speaker 1: I do a cold plunk that Michael Phelps, my brother

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Speaker 1: sent me called Chili Goat little plug there for him.

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Speaker 2: We do.

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Speaker 1: I say these prayers with Rosy and myself. But I

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Speaker 1: have these rituals that I now do religiously. I do

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Speaker 1: this whole thing for my hips. My hips up every

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Speaker 1: day kind of help me. I do this stretching routine,

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Speaker 1: I do uh again, breath work, I do that a

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Speaker 1: couple times a day. Stay in your routine so when

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Speaker 1: you go somewhere and you know it's going to trigger

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Speaker 1: you again, you want you want your rituals and your

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Speaker 1: your schedule to be as structured as possible. So don't

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Speaker 1: let yourself get thrown off course, thrown off base by

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Speaker 1: being somewhere else. It's such an important thing because we

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Speaker 1: tend to go somewhere else and you put it on hold.

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Speaker 1: It's your support system. Don't get rid of your support system.

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Speaker 1: When you need your support the most, make sure, no

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Speaker 1: matter what, you prioritize what your rituals have become.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: Another thing here, A lot of times when we get triggered, okay,

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Speaker 1: we feel like that helpless little kid again, that's hard, okay,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like that helpless are beaten down little kid.

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Speaker 2: So a couple of things.

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Speaker 1: Number One, if you are triggered, first and foremost, immediately

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Speaker 1: forgive yourself.

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Speaker 2: Immediately.

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Speaker 1: Just go to that next room, Go in that next room,

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Speaker 1: forgive yourself. But the other thing I want you to

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Speaker 1: do is go in the next room and love that

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Speaker 1: little kid up.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: So I learned this from these monks in Thailand. And

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Speaker 1: these monks said to me, Hey, we want you to

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Speaker 1: want you to come to do the month thing. We

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Speaker 1: want you to not talk to anybody, and we want

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Speaker 1: you to for three days. I'm not talking anybody for

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Speaker 1: three days a month. I got ADHD, what are we

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Speaker 1: talking about here? And they said, I want you to

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Speaker 1: do and what you call yourself growing up was a jay?

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Speaker 1: I said that was Jason. Okay, we want you to

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Speaker 1: I'll talk to anybody, and we want you to just

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Speaker 1: meditate and picture little Jason and hold his hand, put

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Speaker 1: your arm around him, tell him you got him, it's

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Speaker 1: gonna be okay, And show him some compassion because he

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Speaker 1: probably doesn't feel like he's had enough or at any

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Speaker 1: Love that little kid up.

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Speaker 2: It changed my life. A lot of the issues I've

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Speaker 2: had has been that triggered little kid, that beating down

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Speaker 2: little kid. Not I wouldn't phasily beat down my.

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Speaker 1: Parents or anything, but man, I was a runt to

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Speaker 1: the litter. I was tiny grown up. It was rough

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Speaker 1: in the Jersey Shore. When you're so tiny. Man, I

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Speaker 1: wrestled one hundred and one pounds in high schools on

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Speaker 1: one on one pattern. He got shuw. Man, it was rough.

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Speaker 1: I built myself up in a Jay Glazer. Who I

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Speaker 1: am now? Because how were ugh? That was? But love

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Speaker 1: that little kid up. And like I said, to this day,

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Speaker 1: when I have these little outbursts, I realize it's him,

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Speaker 1: the little kid who's screaming out for help, feels like

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Speaker 1: he did.

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Speaker 2: Something wrong, feels like he deserves to be punished.

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Speaker 1: To show that little kid compassion, literally go to the

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Speaker 1: next room forgive yourself you get triggered, and love that

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Speaker 1: little queed up. And recently I haven't had an issue.

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Speaker 1: I had an issue in sparring I was having Like

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Speaker 1: he's little, I wasn't myself. And I went to Greg

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Speaker 1: Harden May rest apple in Peace, who was the mental

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Speaker 1: performance coach for Tom Brady and Michael Phelps and Charles

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Speaker 1: Woods and these guys. He's like Jay that for some

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Speaker 1: reason that scared little kids coming out of us. Like Greg,

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Speaker 1: I been Sparn've been fighting for years, man. I started

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Speaker 1: wrestling in nineteen eighty two and boxing an eighty eight

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Speaker 1: and MMA in two thousand and what do you mean

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Speaker 1: He said, there's something going on with that little kid. Well,

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Speaker 1: he's horrifying right now, and you had to let him

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Speaker 1: know he's safe and comfort him.

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Speaker 2: And started talking to my therapist about it. And I

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Speaker 2: got to the bottom of it.

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Speaker 1: And now I got his back and make sure I

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Speaker 1: get that little kids back. So and those kinds made

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Speaker 1: it sound a little foreigner people. That was a lot

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Speaker 1: for me. Like that scared little kid. He became the

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Speaker 1: dominant voice instead of Jay Glazer Warrior, Jay Glazer being

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Speaker 1: that dominant voice, and I couldn't shut him up because

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Speaker 1: you don't want to shut that kid up.

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Speaker 2: You got to comfort him. So now we're at the holidays,

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Speaker 2: we get triggered. A lot of times.

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Speaker 1: It's that same kid and you may have a hard

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Speaker 1: time with parents or brothers and sisters, or you know,

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Speaker 1: just your hometown, whatever it is, but you become that

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Speaker 1: scared little kid again.

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Speaker 2: So make sure that you practice I got you, I

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Speaker 2: got you.

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Speaker 1: Love that kid up, love him or her up, Hug them,

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Speaker 1: hold their hands. Another great thing for your game is

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Speaker 1: I'm doing this podcast because there's an awful lot of you, well,

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Speaker 1: awful lot of us, and felt this way on holidays.

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Speaker 1: So when you think about it way, I'm in the

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Speaker 1: majority today, I'm not alone. I'm far from alone. Man,

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Speaker 1: I'm not alone at all. There are so many other

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Speaker 1: people who are going through it right now. So realizing

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Speaker 1: you're probably in the majority, so we're not alone. If

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Speaker 1: you get triggered, you're gonna get triggered. It's okay, don't

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Speaker 1: beat up on yourself. We're gonna forgive ourselves right then,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna do another room. We're gonna love that little

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Speaker 1: kid up, comfort that little kid, and also know that

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Speaker 1: little kid's most important. Okay, your mom, your dad, your brother,

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Speaker 1: your sister, your friends, your hometown, people, whatever, they're not

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Speaker 1: most important. That little kid is. I cannot stress this enough.

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Speaker 1: That little kid is. You are most important. Give yourself

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Speaker 1: some grace forgive yourself. Realize also, hey, this isn't gonna

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Speaker 1: be forever. It's a couple of days here. Staying your rituals,

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Speaker 1: be of service, whether it's calling others or actually going

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Speaker 1: and doing something people who are in need. On Thanksgiving,

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Speaker 1: for the holidays here, lean into your teammates. Make sure

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Speaker 1: you're there for them and they're there for you. Lean

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Speaker 1: into them going into it, be proactive about it, and

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Speaker 1: make sure that you're being good there as well, and

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Speaker 1: you're leaning into them also at that point, and make

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Speaker 1: sure that no matter what happens on these holidays, you

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Speaker 1: do know that you are loved. May not feel it

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Speaker 1: where you are, where you are, we all got teammates.

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Speaker 1: The teammate of mim My Dog's teammates, Rosie's a teammate,

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Speaker 1: even though I didn't have her until you know, four

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Speaker 1: years ago. There are teammates everywhere, right, You just got

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Speaker 1: to see it and make sure you know you are

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Speaker 1: not alone. And you know, finally, like I said, love

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Speaker 1: that little kid up, but also love the adult you up.

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Speaker 2: As well.

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Speaker 1: Man, if you get thrown off kilter or give yourself,

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Speaker 1: get yourself back on track.

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Speaker 2: It's never too late to start over.

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Speaker 1: Even if you make a big mistake and you have

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Speaker 1: an outburst or something along those lines.

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Speaker 2: If you have a milktown, just restart again. It's okay, start.

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Speaker 1: From square one. We're good with that. Yeah, there's no

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Speaker 1: shame in that. The great part is as long as

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Speaker 1: you just keep moving forward. If you fall down, get

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Speaker 1: back up, brush yourself off. Let's all keep walking this

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Speaker 1: walk together.

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Speaker 2: Love y'all.

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Speaker 1: Happy holidays, and I am grateful and thankful for all

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Speaker 1: of you. You guys have given me my purpose. You

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Speaker 1: guys have all given me my why. Never knew that

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Speaker 1: my pain would lead to helping others through theirs, So

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Speaker 1: I am so incredibly thankful for all of you during

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Speaker 1: these ties.

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Speaker 2: Love y'all,