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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha. I will put my

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Speaker 1: stuff I've never told you product if I heart to you,

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Speaker 1: and welcome to another edition of book Club Pride Month edition.

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Speaker 1: Although we do talk about this stuff all the time,

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Speaker 1: so I will say this is a pretty recent book.

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Speaker 1: It came out in twenty sixteen, so spoilers if you

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Speaker 1: haven't read it. We are talking about Gabby Rivera's twenty

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Speaker 1: sixteen book, Juliette Takes a Breath. It is an award

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Speaker 1: winning book. It's really a highly reviewed that. It was

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Speaker 1: partially inspired by Rivera's own coming out and feminist journey

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Speaker 1: at the age of nineteen, and it is a really

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Speaker 1: great coming out story. It's a great coming of age story.

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Speaker 1: It's a great figuring out your whole deal story. It

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Speaker 1: has themes of family, of being Puerto Rican in America,

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Speaker 1: of trying to learn and grow but also realizing what

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Speaker 1: doesn't work with you, and finding your own voice. By

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Speaker 1: the way, we have talked about Gabby Rivera before because

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Speaker 1: she also wrote the solo series America about America Chavez

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Speaker 1: for Marvel. So we've done two episodes on America Javaz

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Speaker 1: check those out. Who is and this is a quote

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Speaker 1: from Rivera's website, a portal punching queer Latina powerhouse. So

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Speaker 1: also Rivera hosts Joy Uprising, which is a podcast that

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Speaker 1: quote brings together her favorite revolutionary humans to honor joy

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Speaker 1: in a chaotic world. So that's cool. And this work

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Speaker 1: was adapted into a graphic novel, and we were just

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Speaker 1: talking about that. I don't think that episode has come

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Speaker 1: out yet, but we were just talking about how we

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Speaker 1: joy graphic novels that don't necessarily fit into what you

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Speaker 1: might think a graphic novel should look like. So I

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Speaker 1: think that's really cool. So let us get into the plot.

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Speaker 1: This story largely follows queer Latinx teen Juliette, who has

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Speaker 1: grown up in the Bronx, surrounded by her family, like

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Speaker 1: has never left the Bronx. During her first year of college,

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Speaker 1: she discovered the book Raging Flower Empowering Your Putty by

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Speaker 1: Empowering Your Mind by Portland, Oregon based white feminist Harlow

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Speaker 1: Brisbane or Brisbane. It was a really important book to her,

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Speaker 1: so she writes to Harlow that's how the book opens,

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Speaker 1: explaining how much it impacted her, how many questions she has,

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Speaker 1: and asks for an internship Harlow offers her one for

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Speaker 1: college credits, where Juliette would be helping with Harlow's next book.

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Speaker 1: At the same time, juliet is struggling with deciding whether

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Speaker 1: or not to come out as a lesbian to her family.

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Speaker 1: She is in love with her girlfriend and she is

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Speaker 1: weighing on her She hasn't come out. She does come

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Speaker 1: out the night before she leaves her Portland, and it

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Speaker 1: has mixed results, but especially her mom is not cool

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Speaker 1: with it, calling it a phase and kind of walking

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Speaker 1: away and closing herself off. So Juliette goes to Portland,

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Speaker 1: is picked up at the airport by Harlow, who is

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Speaker 1: immediately like a hippie, astrology or a white woman. From here,

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Speaker 1: we learned that Juliette has anxiety and asthma, and when

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Speaker 1: Harlow changes the assignment to it's still for the book,

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Speaker 1: but she changes the assignment to tracking down women based

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Speaker 1: on scraps of information that Harlow has collected over time.

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Speaker 1: Juliet freaks out, only compounded by the hostility of another

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Speaker 1: person staying with Harlow named Fenn, and the general lack

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Speaker 1: of people of colored. Juliette does her best tracking the

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Speaker 1: women on these scraps, developing an interest in the librarian Kira.

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Speaker 1: At the same time, her girlfriend is avoiding her, not

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Speaker 1: answering her text calls. Juliette is introduced to a lot

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Speaker 1: of new ideas and terms, and Harlow takes her to

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Speaker 1: an Octavia Butler writing class, where juliet writes a sci

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Speaker 1: fi story and then witnesses an awkward encounter with Harlow

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Speaker 1: lecturing other white women. Maxine, a black woman who is

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Speaker 1: in a poll relationship with Harlow, asks Juliette about it later. Eventually,

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Speaker 1: things culminate into Harlow using Juliette in a racist, tokenist

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Speaker 1: way to prove she is what she, as a white feminist,

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Speaker 1: has done and has done the work. Juliette panics at

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Speaker 1: being used like this and by someone she respected, and

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Speaker 1: she books a flight to Miami to see her cousin, Ava,

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Speaker 1: who has long been telling her to come visit and

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Speaker 1: they can talk about all these big ideas. There, Juliete

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Speaker 1: reconnects with her aunt, who her mother claimed was gay,

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Speaker 1: and Ava, who answers her questions about a whole host

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Speaker 1: of intersectional feminist topics, and Ava takes Juliette to a

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Speaker 1: party for queer people of color. While there, Juliette feels

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Speaker 1: happy and free. She leaves her EX message because yes,

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Speaker 1: by this point they have broken up. It was like

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Speaker 1: a letter that her center. It was like I found

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Speaker 1: someone else. We're broken up. And then her EX responded again,

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Speaker 1: was like I made a huge mistake. I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 1: We have to talk, and Juliette's like, actually, I'm good.

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Speaker 1: So she leaves her ExM message saying, yes, I hope

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Speaker 1: one day we can be friends, but I we're not

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Speaker 1: going to get back together. She and her mother make amends.

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Speaker 1: Juliette goes back to Portland, where Harlowe tells her that

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Speaker 1: she and Maxine have broken up and that she's been

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Speaker 1: jealous of Maxine's other partner, and offers Juliette acupuncture as

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Speaker 1: a sort of non apology. Juliette talks to the people

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Speaker 1: of color like Maxine about Harlowe and eventually confronts her,

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Speaker 1: telling her how much that whole thing hurt her, how

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Speaker 1: racist she'd been, how Juliette felt guilty for not saying

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Speaker 1: anything but that Harlowe's work was important to her. Then

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Speaker 1: she has a moment in the river, because this all

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Speaker 1: happened over a hike where she accepts everything she's learned,

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Speaker 1: all what the women have taught her, and how much

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Speaker 1: she still has in front of her, and she takes

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Speaker 1: a breath and she returns home with writing ideas in mind.

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Speaker 1: That's verridence. So there are a lot of big themes

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Speaker 1: in this book. One of the biggest is feminism. Here's

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Speaker 1: a quote from the opening from the letter that Julia

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Speaker 1: writes to Harlow. But I'm writing to you now because

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Speaker 1: this book of yours, this magical Labia Manifesto, has become

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Speaker 1: my bible. It's definitely a reading from the book of

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Speaker 1: white lady feminism. And yet there are moments where I

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Speaker 1: see my round browns in your words. I wanted more

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Speaker 1: of that, Harlow, more representation, more acknowledgment, more room to

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Speaker 1: breathe the same era as you. We are all women,

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Speaker 1: we are all of the womb. It is in that

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Speaker 1: essence of the moon that we share sisterhood. That's you.

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Speaker 1: You wrote that, and I highlighted it, wondering if that

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Speaker 1: was true. If you don't know my life and my struggle,

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Speaker 1: can we be sisters? Can a bad white lady, like

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Speaker 1: you make room for me. Should I stand next to

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Speaker 1: you and take that space? Or do I need to

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Speaker 1: just push you out of the way claim it myself

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Speaker 1: now so that one day we'll be able to share

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Speaker 1: this earth, this block these deep breaths. So I like that,

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Speaker 1: like getting to the end, we do. You know what

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Speaker 1: happens both with Harlow but also with the like taking

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Speaker 1: a breath, that whole theme throughout that she takes that

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Speaker 1: breath at the end, and that does you know from

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Speaker 1: the second you read it, you're like, oh no, don't

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Speaker 1: meet your heroes. When you're like first introduced to Harlow,

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Speaker 1: you're like, oh no, no, no, no, like ooh, which

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Speaker 1: leads us to white feminism and racism, which is a

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Speaker 1: big topic of discussion in this book. Here's another quote.

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Speaker 1: Harlow made it seem like those white girls had to

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Speaker 1: give us something, I replied, turning my head up a little,

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Speaker 1: like as if we couldn't do our thing without them.

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Speaker 1: See you get it? She said, she being Maxine here.

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Speaker 1: Space isn't theirs to give to us. Nor is Harlow

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Speaker 1: separate from those girls. They are her, she is them.

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Speaker 1: White allies need to keep that distance out of their

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Speaker 1: community education. Damn. But like at least she said something, right,

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Speaker 1: I asked. Maxine raised an eyebrow, shaking her head. Her

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Speaker 1: rich full laugh wrapped me up. These sweet potatoes and

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Speaker 1: mushrooms weren't trezo and a side of toastonaise, but they

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Speaker 1: were love. I joined in with my wheeze laugh. Her

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Speaker 1: shoulders heaved up and down with each breath. She'd fit

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Speaker 1: right in at the breakfast table back home. Maxine dapped

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Speaker 1: at her eyes with her napkin, in all love and seriousness.

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Speaker 1: She slowed down and looked at me square in the eye.

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Speaker 1: You know, just saying something is good enough until it

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Speaker 1: isn't at all. So I think, also going back to

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Speaker 1: that first quote we read where she's talking about like

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Speaker 1: taking space or like pushing out of the way, that

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Speaker 1: hearkens back to this this moment in this quote, and

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Speaker 1: there are a lot of there's a lot of conversation

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Speaker 1: about like microaggressions and tokenism, and Maxine and Harlow's relationship

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Speaker 1: is really interesting where they seem to kind of push

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Speaker 1: each other a lot, that keep coming back to each other.

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Speaker 1: But also it's like Harlow doesn't know so much about vaccine.

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Speaker 1: So it's a little hmmm.

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Speaker 2: I think this all really just takes place in an

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Speaker 2: understanding that because a lot of white feminists take under

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Speaker 2: the pressure that they must be a savior. She does

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Speaker 2: talk about being a savior and having that savior complex, which,

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Speaker 2: you know, anybody who is marginalized knows this feeling that

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Speaker 2: people who come in with like I have to stand

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Speaker 2: up for you, and I'm going to do this for

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Speaker 2: you and I and and if they're not getting the

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Speaker 2: appreciation they think they deserve, then they feel like they're

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Speaker 2: the next victims.

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Speaker 1: They're the victims of this situation.

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Speaker 2: And that's what Maxine talks about, is like, this is

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Speaker 2: why you this is what you're doing. You're not doing

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Speaker 2: this to be an ally. You're doing this to get

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Speaker 2: to be the center of the conversation again. And that's

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Speaker 2: that level. Because two white girls complained that the space

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Speaker 2: that they had gone to an event was for black

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Speaker 2: and brown people and that white people were well come

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Speaker 2: to join, of course, but this was not their space.

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Speaker 2: This is for them to observe. And then two white

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Speaker 2: girls complaining about like why can't it just be all

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Speaker 2: about every you know, all of us as is unity

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Speaker 2: and this was always the problem to begin with because

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Speaker 2: when it's quote unquote all of us, it means white centered, privileged,

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Speaker 2: white centered problems and again leaving out any marginalized person,

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Speaker 2: specifically black people and black and brown people in general.

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Speaker 2: And we're talking about like the black community and the

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Speaker 2: Latino community as a whole, because we know that's the

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Speaker 2: depth of the racism, and that there's this later privilege

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Speaker 2: and that Harlowe once again thinking that she was being

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Speaker 2: a savior coming to the rescue without hearing, without speaking up,

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Speaker 2: without actually taking time to learn, and that's that bigger

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Speaker 2: level of like see what I did for you kind

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Speaker 2: of thing. And Harlow does that again later where she's like,

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Speaker 2: of course I'm the big, bad white white lady, you

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Speaker 2: know that can't do anything again, centering herself in that

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Speaker 2: conversation instead of listening about what is going on going

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Speaker 2: on mazine talking about And then I get this taking

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Speaker 2: any scrap of what seems like goodwill and really like

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Speaker 2: and the same thing with obviously Juliette learning about feminism,

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Speaker 2: and this is someone who is a feminist who really

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Speaker 2: loves her body as a woman, and then like coming

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Speaker 2: in as like not being in love with a man

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Speaker 2: and not being centralized around men. So this is kind

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Speaker 2: of that elementary level, an introduction to feminism. So you

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Speaker 2: get really really enthralled by that and really excited, and

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Speaker 2: you want to run with that because it's something new

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Speaker 2: for you. But when you start and Maxine was the

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Speaker 2: same way, she was like she kind of said she

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Speaker 2: was worried about Julia doing the same thing Maxine did,

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Speaker 2: being enthralled with this woman who seemed like such an

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Speaker 2: open minded genius of her time, quote unquote, and then

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Speaker 2: as you start really unfolding all the layers, you realize, oh,

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Speaker 2: but that's absolutely one dimensional. Absolutely it stops at her privilege,

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Speaker 2: it stops at what she gets and she's done. And

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Speaker 2: that's that same level again with like white feminism when

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Speaker 2: we talk about it is they don't want to go

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Speaker 2: beyond when they get their rights.

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Speaker 1: It's there.

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Speaker 2: They go to get it first, and then we'll focus

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Speaker 2: on everything else instead of seeing the underlying issues. And

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Speaker 2: that's what she's talking about. Scene is talking about specifically

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Speaker 2: here is like she's getting what she wants. She wants

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Speaker 2: to be the hero, she wants to be the savior.

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Speaker 2: This is not actually being a good ally a good

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Speaker 2: comrade in this conversation, and I think it really opens

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Speaker 2: up Juliet's eyes, who hasn't had any feminism point blank

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Speaker 2: and realizing, oh, this may not be the route, like

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Speaker 2: her saying that she's an ally doesn't mean she's an ally,

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Speaker 2: and then seeing her cousin, which I know we'll talk about,

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Speaker 2: who has been fully undated in that world as well,

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Speaker 2: but from a Latino cultural background, like she's coming at

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Speaker 2: like being a feminist and what it looks like as

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Speaker 2: a brown person, as a Latina person, and understanding the

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Speaker 2: depth of colonization that happened to Puerto Rico and why

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Speaker 2: inherently why people can't be trusted who manam want to

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Speaker 2: say that because that's kind of that level. It was

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Speaker 2: like the heroine that she thought Harlow was actually ended

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Speaker 2: up being someone who was just as aggressive, just microaggressive

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Speaker 2: in the ways that she was being welcomed into this community, right.

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Speaker 1: And I feel that it was such a great depiction

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Speaker 1: of because we've talked about this, when you go to

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Speaker 1: college and you realize like, oh, I didn't know about this,

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Speaker 1: or oh I didn't know about this, and you want

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Speaker 1: to learn more, and Juliette is such a fun character

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Speaker 1: in that way because she's she describes herself as very bookish,

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Speaker 1: like she wants to learn more. She gets this list

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Speaker 1: of book suggestions from Ava, and like seeing her learn

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Speaker 1: more about her culture and what happened, and like the

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Speaker 1: confrontation she has with her white girlfriend about Banana Republic.

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Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, it was just it felt very

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Speaker 1: that experience of when you go to college and just

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Speaker 1: you meet people and they open all these doors for you,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes they've been there that whole time and you've

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Speaker 1: just never asked them the question, right, which sort of

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Speaker 1: ended up being the case with Ava, who yes, we

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Speaker 1: will talk about I love that, but yes, so Harlowe

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Speaker 1: at this reading is asked a question about you know,

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Speaker 1: intersexual feminism essentially, but you know, including people of color

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Speaker 1: and what she's doing for that, and she uses Juliette

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Speaker 1: as a token and paints her life completely inaccurately and

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Speaker 1: completely racistly about like she got out of the Bronx

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Speaker 1: and it, you know, it was very violent and difficult

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Speaker 1: and all that stuff, and that wasn't her life at all.

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Speaker 1: Her poor area.

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Speaker 2: They lived in a nice area. They actually really happy

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Speaker 2: she went to college. She's fine, none of that was

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Speaker 2: a conversation I don't understand.

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Speaker 1: Right, So Juliette goes to Miami after that, she's so upset.

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Speaker 1: Then she comes back with all this, you know, like

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Speaker 1: newfound knowledge, and they go on this hike and Juliette

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Speaker 1: confronts Harlowe and here's a quote from that. That's not enough,

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Speaker 1: I continued, holding the tree I just kicked. And what

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Speaker 1: sucks is that I know that you know that deep

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Speaker 1: down you also know you get a pass, maybe not

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Speaker 1: from Maxine and Zira, but from every white lady in

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Speaker 1: that room. All of them just looked at me all

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Speaker 1: sad like, as if they were ready to discover their

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Speaker 1: own little lesbian latina from whateverhood and make themselves a

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Speaker 1: savior too, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But also like, and I think it's something to be noted.

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Speaker 2: At the very beginning of the book, you meet Finn,

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Speaker 2: who is a Filipino uh person, young person that lived

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Speaker 2: with her, and obviously, from what we gathered, his mom

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Speaker 2: was in a relationship with Harlow and they all lived

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Speaker 2: as a family, and then his mom just left. So

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Speaker 2: he has a lot of feelings and he was very

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Speaker 2: antagonistic to juliet And I think It has something to

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Speaker 2: do with the fact that it is very much Harlowe

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Speaker 2: being like, I'm going to collect these people of color

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Speaker 2: to save them, And it was a big hint at

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Speaker 2: the very beginning of what this was like. She really

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Speaker 2: has a huge say of your complex in being this

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Speaker 2: goddess fairy for each one of them and showing them

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Speaker 2: the way without understanding like, hey, you're actually in the

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Speaker 2: way at this point, like you are a part of

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Speaker 2: you are the problem in this conversation, you like collecting

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Speaker 2: literally marginalize people for your crew of followers.

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Speaker 1: We don't know what what you're doing.

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Speaker 2: And obviously she very much says that out loud during

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Speaker 2: that moment of like, look what I've rescued, as if

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Speaker 2: she as if Juliette was a puppy from a pound,

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Speaker 2: and Juliette finally like she's having it. I love I

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Speaker 2: loved how well Riviera played this in that insecurity of

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Speaker 2: finding your voice because you know you're too insecure to

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Speaker 2: speak up because you're just learning, and you know you're

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Speaker 2: in a powerhouse full of people who have been in

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Speaker 2: this world for a long long time. Also, you're in Portland,

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Speaker 2: and I can't imagine the juxtaposition of being from the

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Speaker 2: Bronx coming to Portland because I couldn't imagine myself, but

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Speaker 2: like having that and then trying to figure out your

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Speaker 2: voice being nineteen with all these middle asied women who

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Speaker 2: are talking so many new terms, whether it's polyamory or

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Speaker 2: whether it's about gender pronouns. And this was in the

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Speaker 2: early two thousands, so this is my age. Rage. I

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, this is lovely this. I know this.

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Speaker 2: I know this feeling of being new and traveling by

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Speaker 2: myself or being somewhere new by myself in the early

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Speaker 2: two thousands, trying to figure it out where everybody was

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Speaker 2: somewhat accepting, but there was no actual terms for things,

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Speaker 2: like it was all very new and it was so

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Speaker 2: new that people were scared of it, Like this was

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Speaker 2: during that time, and so I loved seeing that perspective

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Speaker 2: that she put onto her character Juliet, which she understood

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Speaker 2: very well because she was like walking into a whole

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Speaker 2: new environment completely and trying to learn. So was trying

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Speaker 2: to find their voice, and that soul like moment with

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Speaker 2: Maxine where Maxine's like, you knew something was off, but

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Speaker 2: you didn't know how to phrase that. You don't know

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Speaker 2: what is off, and I think again, I'll talk about it.

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Speaker 2: I'll feel that way when people are saying things like

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Speaker 2: your English is really good or all these things, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, this feels off. You know, you're trying to

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Speaker 2: be nice to me and you're trying to get to

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Speaker 2: know me, but in a weird way because you would

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Speaker 2: not ask any white person this question. So I'm very confused,

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Speaker 2: especially with my accent anyway, But like her learning all

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Speaker 2: these level but not being able to say because you're

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Speaker 2: just trying to fit in. You're trying to be appreciative

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Speaker 2: of being noticed or being talked to, being like being

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Speaker 2: a part of something in general. So like having her

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Speaker 2: come to that point of being like nom pissed. You

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Speaker 2: know you're wrong, and you know that in between this,

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Speaker 2: if saw this, they would paint me as the aggressive

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Speaker 2: person again from the hood as you try to put

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Speaker 2: me while you are just being so nice and kind

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Speaker 2: and helping a young girl out, Like that's literally the

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Speaker 2: picture that you portrayed, and you know how wrong that is.

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Speaker 2: And you have not said I'm sorry, and you've not

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Speaker 2: made a public apology and understanding and admitting that you

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Speaker 2: are wrong, as in fact, you've like doubled down by saying, look,

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Speaker 2: I'll introduce you to another Latino person. You're welcome. I

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Speaker 2: found one of your kind, essentially is what she's saying.

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Speaker 2: And I want to put this in here, and I

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Speaker 2: know I'm going to get some people will get real

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Speaker 2: mad at me. And when I say this, but in conversations,

351
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Speaker 2: when you see this of people with good intentions and

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Speaker 2: you are a person of marginalized community and you're trying

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Speaker 2: to come in and figure yourself out. And I say

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Speaker 2: this as a person who's trying to figure myself out,

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Speaker 2: there are moments when you kind of wish that You're like,

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Speaker 2: I have too many white people in my life, and

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Speaker 2: you're like, I'm gonna I'm gonna have to back off

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Speaker 2: because instead of trying to help you discover who you

359
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Speaker 2: are in this whole space, in this space of intersectionality,

360
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Speaker 2: they try to tell you how they're going to help you,

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Speaker 2: but it's all again white centered. And this is what

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Speaker 2: Harlowe was doing to juliet And thank god Juliette was

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Speaker 2: able to meet Magazine and Zara as well as her

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Speaker 2: new flame, which I'm sure we're talking about, Kira, of

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Speaker 2: seeing different perspectives on what was happening, because she needed

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Speaker 2: that to unfold the rest of what was missing in

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Speaker 2: her life, like the rest of the learning and unlearning

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Speaker 2: that she needed to do, and her own cousin Ava,

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Speaker 2: thank God, is a part of that too, and how

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Speaker 2: much they realized with each other, like they really are

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Speaker 2: have common ground and maybe even her little brother that

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Speaker 2: we find out later on, and I think that's beautiful,

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Speaker 2: but that this is that conversation that is so real

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Speaker 2: to me that I'm like, yeah, yeah, it kind of

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Speaker 2: gets to the point of like white allies mean well,

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Speaker 2: but they talk so much that they don't realize this

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00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 2: is more hindrance. And this is where white feminism gets

378
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Speaker 2: in the way. Listeners, I love if you are a

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Speaker 2: white person, please don't think this that I'm saying this

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Speaker 2: as an attack, but just coming from an all white

381
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Speaker 2: space as I have, and I'm telling you it's all

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Speaker 2: white space as in like my family and all of that.

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Speaker 2: You realize what boundaries that they put in front of

384
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Speaker 2: you or sometimes you know, what kind of obstacles I

385
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,919
Speaker 2: put in front of you because of their good intentions.

386
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Speaker 2: But it doesn't it's not it's not in the end

387
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Speaker 2: that great, and this is where we see with Harlowe

388
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Speaker 2: as well.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was really interesting that this book when

390
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Speaker 1: I looked up when it came out, I was like, really,

391
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Speaker 1: January twenty sixteen, because presumably had been written before that,

392
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Speaker 1: but that is when we had the Women's March, and

393
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Speaker 1: that was no rightfully called out for being white women

394
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Speaker 1: wearing these pink hats and sort of like pushing other

395
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Speaker 1: people out. And because of the title of Harlowe's book,

396
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Speaker 1: it has put me in the name. I just assumed,

397
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 1: and maybe it did because that's that was around before

398
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Speaker 1: that march. But I was just like, the timing is

399
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,720
Speaker 1: very interesting.

400
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,879
Speaker 2: I think she was definitely making sure to a not

401
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 2: only be a little bit autobiographical and in her own story,

402
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 2: but it also really she does it in a genuinely

403
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 2: good way that again I read into this, and I

404
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,680
Speaker 2: think probably a little bit differently in that level because

405
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:55,919
Speaker 2: in seeing her come to terms with what she was

406
00:23:55,920 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 2: seeing because in her own again, I grew up being

407
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:02,719
Speaker 2: told that I was being saved by white people, so

408
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:05,639
Speaker 2: that wasn't new to me. It was trying to let

409
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Speaker 2: go of the fact that I'm like, I gotta stop

410
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 2: like falling into that for her to be seen as

411
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Speaker 2: that it was so new because she has a very strong,

412
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:18,199
Speaker 2: very influential family, Puerto Rican family who have held her

413
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Speaker 2: up in those traditions. Like she talks about the food

414
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Speaker 2: feeling homie, and she's like loving it and missing it,

415
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 2: missing the like being hugged by her mom and getting

416
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Speaker 2: like the moments of like just being able to put

417
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Speaker 2: her head and smelling her mom and knowing that she

418
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Speaker 2: can be comforted that way, like going to see her

419
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Speaker 2: aunt and getting that hug that she needed because you know,

420
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Speaker 2: it was familial.

421
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Speaker 1: But all of that to.

422
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Speaker 2: Say is like to see like her intentions of being like, oh,

423
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Speaker 2: this is what the white community or like sees me

424
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Speaker 2: as as someone that needs to be rescued. What is

425
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,200
Speaker 2: this and then not sure how to handle that because

426
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 2: it's so new to her because that was never a

427
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 2: thought for her. And interesting enough, like she never saw

428
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,360
Speaker 2: that with Laney because she thought Laney, which maybe I'm

429
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 2: just putting words in her like writing in that Laney

430
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 2: was that person also like both of them were experiencing

431
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 2: new things. But it seemed like because she said, Sarah

432
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 2: the new girl was probably a white girl and she

433
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 2: now she's got to what she wants that she can

434
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 2: show presentably mm hm as a better representation for being

435
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 2: a good feminist lesbian. That it meant being white as

436
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 2: she saw it as as like Juliette saw it, And

437
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, I think that in Lanie, who was very

438
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:37,360
Speaker 2: very white, you know, according to what we read like

439
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 2: that to me was like that was a new realization

440
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 2: as well, and what she was to Laney possibly to

441
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 2: what she was to the rest of the world as well.

442
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 2: Like I think I found that interesting and I really

443
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 2: think that for me, Viera did a great job in

444
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 2: showing that as showcasing the a new a new baby

445
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 2: feminist that she says, or a new baby lesbian she.

446
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 1: Says, yes, and Lane is the girlfriend that they broke up. No, yeah,

447
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 1: because Lane didn't want to introduce she was scared to

448
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 1: introduce Juliette to her like suburban white family. I think

449
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 1: we have a quote about that later. And then she

450
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 1: meets Sarah presumably yes white girl, and then she's not

451
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 1: so worried about it anymore. But then I guess it

452
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,200
Speaker 1: didn't work out, or either she panicked but Juliette wasn't

453
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 1: a good or she was in a better place, and

454
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I'm good she found her,

455
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 1: she said, she did. I did want to include this quote.

456
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 1: This is from when Ava and juliet are just having

457
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 1: their like amazing back and forth about feminism and thoughts

458
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:50,119
Speaker 1: about feminism, when Juliette goes to Miami. And one of

459
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:56,719
Speaker 1: the criticisms Ava has about the book is kind of

460
00:26:56,760 --> 00:27:03,399
Speaker 1: the emphasis and pre diference placed on like periods and

461
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:07,120
Speaker 1: all like that stuff. So here's a quote. Her consistent

462
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 1: linking of genital's to gender as an absolute is violent

463
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 1: as hell. It's a closed fist instead of open arms,

464
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 1: you know. And besides, she added, staring at herself unflinching

465
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 1: in the mirror, womanhood is radical enough for anyone who

466
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 1: dares to claim it.

467
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:24,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. Like, Kira said that too. Kira

468
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 2: said that she is very focused on women, like she

469
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 2: doesn't like she equates women in a vaginas in a

470
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 2: story in this and not allowed for the in betweens,

471
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 2: and just being like the goddess has been feminine, which

472
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 2: feminine could be all across all genders, and we know this,

473
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:45,919
Speaker 2: but like in general, like she specifically aims to women,

474
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 2: equating that the only way a woman is powerful is

475
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 2: through their vagina and uterus, and again it is very problematic,

476
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 2: especially in a world where she is supposed to be

477
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 2: a leader for the quick community. You know, like you're

478
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 2: leaving out a lot of the LGBTQI plus peoples and

479
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 2: you are excluding when you were saying you don't want to.

480
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 1: Exclude, yes, And you know you and I have talked before,

481
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 1: we talked recently not everyone who identifies as a woman

482
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 1: as period for multiple reasons, right, And also, like I

483
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 1: do get, we've talked about this too. There's something in

484
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 1: our culture, in our society, periods are taboo. We don't

485
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 1: talk about them. I do get trying to, like, let's

486
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 1: talk about it. Let's there was period pride, it was

487
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 1: a huge thing while back. But in doing so, if

488
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 1: you're like leaving out everyone else, if you're not, if

489
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 1: that's your main focus and you're not talking about anyone else,

490
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 1: then you're yeah, you're excluding a lot of people, right,

491
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,760
Speaker 1: a lot of people, Which kind of leads us into

492
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 1: the next theme I wanted to talk about, because there

493
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 1: is some there's elements of homophobia in here, of because

494
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 1: clear Juliette is how the book starts, is she's really

495
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 1: nervous about coming out to her family, and so she

496
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 1: she's like actually going back and forth about whether she

497
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 1: will at all, but then she finally does. It kind

498
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 1: of just comes out of her, like she says it,

499
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 1: and everyone kind of doesn't believe her. I was like, oh, yeah,

500
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 1: I've used that old excuse too. But then she says

501
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 1: it outright after having a very sweet conversation with her

502
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 1: little brother where he's very like, no, you got this.

503
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 1: So she does it, and then, like I said, mixed results.

504
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 1: But her mom was definitely the one that was the

505
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 1: most like, oh no, this is not correct. So here's

506
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: a quote from her mom. It's this book, isn't it?

507
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 1: This book about Mgina's. Has you messed up in the

508
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 1: head and confused? She said, looking past me anywhere but

509
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 1: at me, her voice heavy but not angry. My father

510
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,720
Speaker 1: reached out for her hand and held it. No, it's

511
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 1: not raging flower. I love Laney. It's never felt like

512
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 1: this with a boy, I said, tears betrayed the tiny

513
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 1: bit of strength in my voice. Little Melvin bowed his

514
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 1: head low, his cheeks flushed. He nutched his knee into

515
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 1: mine and kept it there. I pushed my plate of

516
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: food aside, Mom and I stared at each other and

517
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 1: I felt like I was falling. But Juliette, she said,

518
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 1: you've never had a boyfriend, so how would you know.

519
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,240
Speaker 1: All you know are these neighborhood boys. You haven't give

520
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 1: any of the boys at your college a chance. You

521
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 1: might like Laney, but it's not the same thing. I

522
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 1: promise you that love I love her, you don't know

523
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 1: anything about my feelings. So that's how it went. And

524
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:43,680
Speaker 1: this was her final night before she left. And I think,

525
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 1: like in that conversation, because this is a fairly quick read,

526
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 1: I would say packs in a lot and a lot

527
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 1: of the stereotypes are kind of responses people get in

528
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 1: my experience when coming out, that it's a phase, you'll

529
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 1: grow out of it. Of course, it's a trend. I

530
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 1: do kind of it cracks me up this whole, like

531
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 1: you read this book and now you're gay, because that's

532
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 1: what they used to like ban books a lot of

533
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 1: times where people because the percentage of LGBTQ plus people

534
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 1: is higher than ever, people think it's like books or

535
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 1: whatever that's turning them gay. But as we've said before,

536
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:32,239
Speaker 1: it's more likely that they've just know this is a

537
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 1: thing now, right, and they might not have before. Rivera

538
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 1: has like an interesting comparison where Juliette is thinking about

539
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 1: not being Puerto Rican enough, Like has she'd gotten people

540
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 1: saying she wasn't Puerto Rican enough for not liking or

541
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 1: not knowing about certain music or about certain things, and

542
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 1: how having that experience made this make her feel like, oh, okay,

543
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 1: well maybe I'm not gay enough. And then that's compounsioned

544
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 1: when she goes to Portland and she learns all these

545
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 1: new terms in the world of feminism and like maybe

546
00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 1: I'm not a feminist enough, like all of those things.

547
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 2: Right, I mean, in both of those situations, Yeah, she's

548
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 2: talking about being tested. Yeah, and then we I think

549
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 2: we can know that when anything. We're like, I'm a

550
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 2: fan of this band and you're like, oh you are.

551
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 2: We'll tell me the name three songs, you know, like

552
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:31,800
Speaker 2: just stuff like that that we see. But when it

553
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 2: comes to your identity and you're like, what the hell,

554
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 2: why do I have to prove myself I exist?

555
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 1: Like I'm here, I don't.

556
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 2: I don't know how else to tell you, Like I

557
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 2: deal with the same microaggressions that you do, and assumptions

558
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 2: that you do. I literally I laugh because the other

559
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 2: day I had someone ask me if I like being

560
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 2: here and this is all?

561
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 1: This is for real?

562
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 2: And I was like, what do you mean?

563
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,160
Speaker 1: You mean? Like where? What now?

564
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,080
Speaker 2: And I kind of bypassed that question. Then he asked

565
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 2: me again and like do you like being here? And

566
00:32:56,480 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 2: I said where to cater and then he was like, no,

567
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 2: the US and I was like, oh uh, I've been

568
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 2: here like like and he like trying to backtrack. And

569
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 2: this was a younger dude, and I was like, are

570
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 2: you are you kidding me? I just wanted to get

571
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 2: my carbaged. I'm not really sure where that came from,

572
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 2: but okay, but like being tested and being told that

573
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 2: at the same time being like, but you're not really

574
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 2: like that that level of conversation the same way with feminisms,

575
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 2: like but are you do you support these things? Or

576
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 2: do you not support these things? Or do you devote

577
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 2: this way? Have you done these things? Are you part

578
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 2: of these activism? Are you like are you marching in

579
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 2: the streets every day? Like have you, like a boycotted

580
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 2: all these like you? There's so many levels of like

581
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 2: you have to prove yourself and it's not good enough

582
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 2: for most people, and there's different levels of what constitutes

583
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,840
Speaker 2: you being enough of these are things and she says that,

584
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 2: and then I kind of wanted to go back to

585
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 2: about how the whole the phase you grow, you'll grow

586
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 2: out of it, because I really loved the Auntie line

587
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 2: in which the daughter Ava was like, Mom, you're bye too.

588
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 2: We're both by Are you kidding me? And the aunt

589
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 2: laughs and says, yeah, I guess that's what it is.

590
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 2: We're by this, meaning that even though her sister, Juliete's

591
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,759
Speaker 2: mom was like, your aunt went through up phase two

592
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 2: and like this girl, and the aunt was like, no,

593
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 2: I loved her. I loved this woman, but it didn't

594
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 2: work out and that hasn't changed the fact. But I

595
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 2: still love her today, as in like, I have not

596
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:22,279
Speaker 2: changed from being by. I just am with a man,

597
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 2: which is what we see so often in the BY community.

598
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 2: I know Annie that you have talked about this, like

599
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 2: we've talked about this repeatedly, about the fact that just

600
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 2: because you see them, you see someone in a hetero relationship,

601
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 2: does not change that they are queer, like they still

602
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 2: are bisexual, and that kind of the Auntie was like, no, yeah,

603
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 2: I'm by, yeah, absolutely, and like all of them hugging together,

604
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 2: loving each other and being like even though the mom

605
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 2: really thought she had Juliet with this point in actuality,

606
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 2: the aunt was like, no, I haven't changed it. I'm by.

607
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 2: I just didn't know the word for it. I just

608
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 2: am who I am, essentially is what they were having

609
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,919
Speaker 2: that common. But I really loved that was a confirmation

610
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:07,839
Speaker 2: for Juliette of being like, it's okay, it's okay, and

611
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 2: it's not a face, Like I don't see that as

612
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 2: a face either, which is still really, really, really offensive

613
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 2: in every way it is. Oh, here's another quote. It

614
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:21,840
Speaker 2: says tee Wepa didn't move. She stared hard at me

615
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,799
Speaker 2: and said, you were born in the middle of the

616
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 2: night on a Monday, September sixth, nineteen eighty three. I'll

617
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 2: never forget that day as long as I'm living and breathing.

618
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:32,439
Speaker 2: My brother came out of the delivery room, first time

619
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:34,799
Speaker 2: in my life I'd ever seen him cry and told

620
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 2: us you were a baby girl. Tit wiped her eyes.

621
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,240
Speaker 2: I've loved you from that moment and I always will.

622
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,480
Speaker 2: I don't care if you're gay or if you shave

623
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:45,360
Speaker 2: your head, or or if you become a falcon, offered

624
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 2: little Melvin from the backseat, tit Weppa laughed, Or if

625
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:51,360
Speaker 2: you become a mother Falcon, I'm your t tee and

626
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:55,759
Speaker 2: nothing will ever change my love for you. I really

627
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 2: wish we had more things with Melvin. Little Malvin, to

628
00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 2: be honest, he was fantastic.

629
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:04,400
Speaker 1: He's the little brother and he's like a nerd but wonderful.

630
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,879
Speaker 1: I mean that's how like word nerds aren't wonderful. He's

631
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:12,919
Speaker 1: like a really sweet, like speaks wisdom nerd.

632
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a smart little brother who adores his sister

633
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 2: beyond anything else, not surprised for anything. She comes out

634
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,799
Speaker 2: to him first and he's like, yop, okay, you're an

635
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 2: animorph just like great.

636
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 1: Just a great thing.

637
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 2: And then he gives her an emergency pack for her

638
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 2: to open when things are bad and it's perfect for her.

639
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:37,839
Speaker 2: But like, I love their relationships so much and how

640
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 2: much they love each other and how much they support

641
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 2: each other, and even him being like seven years younger.

642
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:46,320
Speaker 2: I think he's like twelve or fourteen and she's like nineteen.

643
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:50,400
Speaker 2: That he is like the support system she needs, which

644
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 2: is phenomenal. So good.

645
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's great. He was reading Anamorphs when you're first

646
00:36:56,000 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 1: introduced to him, and I love how he just accepts

647
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,799
Speaker 1: It's like, Yep, that's who you are. It's like I'm

648
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:06,240
Speaker 1: a big a two. Yeah. The story, it is letter.

649
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 1: I love it. It's so good. I did want to

650
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 1: speak to going back to that kind of like you're

651
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 1: not enough worry when it comes to to I think

652
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 1: a lot of things, but in this case, like being queer,

653
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 1: but also like the whole feminist thing we've been talking about.

654
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 1: When you don't know the terminology, here's a quote. You know,

655
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 1: I didn't know the words. No, I didn't know my

656
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:44,319
Speaker 1: ginger pronouns. All the moments where I was made to

657
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,720
Speaker 1: feel like an outsider in a group that was supposed

658
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 1: to have room for me added up and left me

659
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:53,160
Speaker 1: feeling so much shame, burning hot cheeks, eyes swollen with tears.

660
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,799
Speaker 1: That were all the words I couldn't say. That's what

661
00:37:55,840 --> 00:38:00,880
Speaker 1: my shame looked like. Yeah, and I think, like going

662
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 1: back to so many advert conversations we had just like

663
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 1: any other group of people, there are biases everything in

664
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 1: the queer community, and yeah, if you're new to it,

665
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 1: it can be really scary when people are like, have

666
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 1: you read this? Do you know this? Do you know

667
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:26,439
Speaker 1: this term? What it is? And so when she's kind

668
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 1: of bombarded with all of these things she's never heard of,

669
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 1: and then that can make you feel even more doubt, like, oh,

670
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 1: I didn't even know about that. But as you said,

671
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 1: when she goes to visit her aunt and cousin in Miami,

672
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:40,440
Speaker 1: she's like, oh, yeah, I didn't know that was a

673
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 1: word for it.

674
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:46,680
Speaker 2: But yep, I love the relationship goes on. Your one

675
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,640
Speaker 2: job is to just accept what a person feels comfortable

676
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,840
Speaker 2: sharing about themselves. No one owes you info on their gender,

677
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:54,439
Speaker 2: body parts, or sexuality.

678
00:38:55,400 --> 00:39:00,799
Speaker 1: Yeah. I liked that there was also discussions around on sexism.

679
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 1: One of the opening scenes, I would say pretty much

680
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 1: is around that and around like she describes herself as

681
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:16,400
Speaker 1: sort of a bigger brown queer woman and having shame

682
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,719
Speaker 1: around like the clothes she wears or her body. But

683
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 1: a lot of times, like there's a pretty there's a

684
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 1: scene in the beginning where she's confronted by neighborhood dudes

685
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:29,279
Speaker 1: who are just doing that horrible harassment do thing that

686
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:33,360
Speaker 1: some tubes do, and she has a quote where she's like,

687
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 1: you know, I felt so good in the morning when

688
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:38,279
Speaker 1: I put this on. I felt so cute, And now

689
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 1: I feel gross and wrong and weird because it was

690
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:47,240
Speaker 1: like a halter top that was showing off her breast

691
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 1: and like tight pants and all this. And she felt

692
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 1: really good about it, but then they came and her

693
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 1: asked her, and then she felt bad about it. And

694
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:56,359
Speaker 1: so she does have a lot of things in here

695
00:39:56,440 --> 00:40:01,320
Speaker 1: about discussions of feeling of her weight, of of sweating

696
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:03,279
Speaker 1: like a normal human person. But a lot of us

697
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 1: can relate to being told that's like not ladylike, oh no,

698
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:14,319
Speaker 1: and having a lot of anxiety around that. And as

699
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 1: you mentioned, I just read an article about this, but

700
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 1: it's been around forever, but I just read an article

701
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: about how so many times when you see queer people

702
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:27,400
Speaker 1: in the media, it is kind of the straight white

703
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 1: version of like the nice queer person who is in

704
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:35,320
Speaker 1: a woman's case, she's thin, she's white, like, she's still

705
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:40,719
Speaker 1: like traditionally beautiful to heterosexual people, which is a huge conversation.

706
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 1: There's a lot of things to impact there, but her

707
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:47,439
Speaker 1: having anxiety around that and not fitting that when she's

708
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,799
Speaker 1: coming out, and she did get some of these anxieties

709
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:55,920
Speaker 1: from her family and I related to this quote, Nina,

710
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 1: from now on, you must always wear bra. Your breast

711
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 1: will get bigger, like mind grandma's. You must protect them.

712
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 1: Trust me, Eventually you will need the support as well.

713
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 1: Men in public are even in the house, should never

714
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 1: be able to see the outline of your tatitas or

715
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 1: the poke of your nipples. Put your bra on the

716
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 1: second you wake up in the morning. Men can't handle

717
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:19,120
Speaker 1: seeing those things. It makes them crazy. Remember, they're just

718
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,879
Speaker 1: not as smart as we are. Mama, From now on,

719
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:24,799
Speaker 1: you must shower every day and always rodioda and imperfume.

720
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 1: I do not want my little girl to be stinky.

721
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 1: You are too pretty for that.

722
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 2: Oh.

723
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:31,800
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of us had this talk

724
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 1: where it was all of a sudden, like you gotta

725
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:38,399
Speaker 1: smell nice, and you gotta wear this, and you can't

726
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 1: wear this, and I was not allowed I had to

727
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:42,880
Speaker 1: talk to my house, I was not allowed to go

728
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 1: out without a bra, and I hated bras. So it

729
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:50,080
Speaker 1: was just really annoying. But then it kind of gets

730
00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:53,360
Speaker 1: in your head of like, oh, yeah, men can't control themselves,

731
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 1: and when which I'm saying in terms of what people

732
00:41:56,600 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 1: are telling you and then when she Juliette is about

733
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:06,000
Speaker 1: to have her coming out situation with her family, she

734
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:10,400
Speaker 1: describes the harassment incident she'd gone through with these dudes,

735
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 1: and some of the people at the table were like, Oh,

736
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 1: it means he likes you, or oh it means yeah,

737
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 1: that's just them whatever. So that was just something. When

738
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 1: I was reading, I was like, yeap, heard this one,

739
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:30,080
Speaker 1: and then this one's kind of a big mess of

740
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 1: a theme. But I did pick up on some big

741
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:38,400
Speaker 1: ideas about religion and belief systems. So obviously there was

742
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 1: kind of the white hippie aura thing that Harlowe was

743
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:48,239
Speaker 1: doing that was very about like our aurs have to

744
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 1: sink and the moon and all of this, this kind

745
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 1: of stuff that was present throughout. So here's a quote.

746
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,480
Speaker 2: The only thing we can really do, juliet is to

747
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 2: develop our our own sustainable theodiocees. You know, we need

748
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 2: to create our own understanding of divine presence in a

749
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 2: world full of chaos. My God is black, it's queer,

750
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:12,720
Speaker 2: it's a symphony of masculine and feminine. Is Audrey, Lord

751
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:15,719
Speaker 2: and Leader Kinney. My God and my understanding of God

752
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 2: are centered on who I am as a person and

753
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,680
Speaker 2: what I need to continue my connection to the divine,

754
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:24,879
Speaker 2: Maxine explained, she took a long breath. It's everyone's job

755
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 2: to come up with a theodiocey, one that has room

756
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 2: for every inch of who they are and the person

757
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 2: they evolve into.

758
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:34,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, so yes, that is Maxine, not Harlow. But that

759
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 1: was when they were talking about like belief systems.

760
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:41,440
Speaker 2: Right, because she always has a Mester's and divinities and

761
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 2: so Harlow's world is about goddesses and auras, while Juliet

762
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 2: came from a pretty Catholic background, but she also believed

763
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 2: in God and really had a hard time and separating that.

764
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 2: And I feel like that so many people in religion

765
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 2: because I know, like especially in the South, there's definitely

766
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 2: a lot of like of the gay community who profoundly

767
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 2: love their Christian community or their church community or their

768
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 2: worship community, and like they have a connection to it

769
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,359
Speaker 2: on a different level. But like when of course, like

770
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:20,640
Speaker 2: when you're being told this is against something, you are

771
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 2: against our beliefs, you know, they have a hard time,

772
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 2: but they still don't believe that's what God is to

773
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 2: them or who God really is. And I think that's

774
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,719
Speaker 2: a breakdown of like trying to figure out for yourself

775
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 2: right what your beliefs are.

776
00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:41,360
Speaker 1: The spirituality is yes, and Juliette did have her it

777
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 1: despite her upbringing her doubts. Here's a quote. I was

778
00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:48,280
Speaker 1: suspicious of the Bible. It had never been particularly forthcoming

779
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:51,319
Speaker 1: when it came to stories about women. Mary Magdalene wasn't

780
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:53,839
Speaker 1: really a hooker, and you didn't force Adam to eat

781
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 1: that apple. What did painting women as untrustworthy or horrorsh

782
00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:01,000
Speaker 1: have to do with God's love? Anyway? Stories weren't even

783
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:04,040
Speaker 1: about women directly. There were stories about men in which

784
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:07,479
Speaker 1: women had side roles as the mother, or the second wife,

785
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,879
Speaker 1: or the daughter for sale. The fact that I grew

786
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:11,920
Speaker 1: up in a religious household and had never heard of

787
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 1: Sophia further proved to me that the people interpreting the

788
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 1: Bible or misogynist I didn't care about anything a wise

789
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 1: woman had to say. Christianity wasn't budging an inch on

790
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 1: this quest of mine. So this is as we said.

791
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 1: The new task that Harlowe gave to Juliette was tracking

792
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: down women from these scraps of papers. Sophia was one

793
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 1: of those women, and she honestly, great curious researcher just

794
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 1: kind of started looking into the history of the name

795
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 1: and found out it meant like wisdom and found this

796
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:49,640
Speaker 1: biblical story that she had never heard, and honestly I

797
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:51,479
Speaker 1: had heard so right.

798
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 2: There's so many things like when I tell you researching

799
00:45:57,719 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 2: like actual theology, and then talking about like the sea

800
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:03,719
Speaker 2: scrolls and all the you know, all of the things

801
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:07,319
Speaker 2: and what came later, and then about the apocrypha, so

802
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:09,760
Speaker 2: I don't know, like all that and the additional books

803
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:11,839
Speaker 2: that were left out. You start questioning why things were

804
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:13,880
Speaker 2: left out and who was being left out and why

805
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 2: the amount of information being taken away, and you're like,

806
00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 2: who we decided this, Oh, a bunch of men. Okay,

807
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 2: that's interesting, and then you try to figure out finding

808
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:25,719
Speaker 2: those pieces and going back to it because they try

809
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 2: to destroy so many things.

810
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:32,440
Speaker 1: Because they didn't like people. Yep, they liked power, but

811
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 1: not the people. And going back to that, that's pretty related.

812
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 1: I did see a lot of themes of like gatekeeping

813
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 1: in this of gatekeeping of feminism or being queer or

814
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:50,719
Speaker 1: whatever based in terminology, like as we've said earlier, what

815
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:54,240
Speaker 1: you know, what you've read, what you all of that stuff.

816
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 1: And as part of this, she does get that list,

817
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:58,919
Speaker 1: and she, as you mentioned, she starts learning more about

818
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:02,320
Speaker 1: Puerto Rico that she had never learned in her American schooling,

819
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 1: and she learns about colonization. And here's a quote about that,

820
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 1: maybe America just swallowed all of us, including our histories,

821
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:15,399
Speaker 1: and spat out whatever it wanted us to remember in

822
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:18,880
Speaker 1: the form of something flashy, cinematic and full of catchy songs,

823
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:21,279
Speaker 1: and the rest of us without that firsthand knowledge of

824
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 1: civil unrest and political acts of disobedience just inhaled what

825
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 1: they gave us. So yeah, like going back to what

826
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:31,239
Speaker 1: you were saying with religion, it's a very similar. This

827
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:34,520
Speaker 1: is what we'll put in here for you to learn.

828
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:39,879
Speaker 2: But otherwise, right when you start looking at the history

829
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 2: of Puerto Rico and what they're trying to do, and

830
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:43,840
Speaker 2: then you start looking at the history of Hawaii and

831
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:47,440
Speaker 2: what they've done, and like you kind of really question likeage.

832
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 1: Oh oh yeah, okay, hard transition dating theme of dating

833
00:47:55,600 --> 00:48:00,239
Speaker 1: in this here's a quote. I couldn't even with dudes lately.

834
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:02,359
Speaker 1: All they did was talk smack about how good they

835
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 1: laid down the pipe. Anytime I ignored them. I was

836
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:06,880
Speaker 1: both a bitch and all of a sudden, too ugly

837
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:09,839
Speaker 1: or too fat to get it anyway. Neighborhood dudes sure

838
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:11,920
Speaker 1: knew how to slime and shame a girl. And one

839
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 1: swift move reason number five hundred and fifty one, Raging

840
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:19,120
Speaker 1: Flower was so necessary. Reading helped me gather myself, reminded

841
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 1: me that I had a right to be mad. It

842
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 1: felt like my body was both overexposed and an unsolved mystery.

843
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:28,399
Speaker 1: So this is after her encounter with the harassing dude

844
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 1: in the beginning, But I just thought that was a

845
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 1: great quote about Yeah, you're super hot until you don't

846
00:48:36,640 --> 00:48:37,840
Speaker 1: want to have sex with them, and then you're like

847
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:41,799
Speaker 1: the ugliest ever exists, right every time?

848
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 2: Every time? Didn't want you anyway?

849
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:45,919
Speaker 1: And then why are you talking to me? I didn't

850
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:46,160
Speaker 1: want this?

851
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 2: Why are we here? I definitely didn't talk to you.

852
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:51,319
Speaker 2: I didn't definitely didn't come to you.

853
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:52,439
Speaker 1: So go away.

854
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it goes on. Her heart felt far away

855
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 2: from mine, like they were beating in different time zones

856
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 2: or different dimensions love. I should have asked her for

857
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 2: her to fight for us and to shed some tears

858
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:06,960
Speaker 2: over a summer apart. If I was going to spill

859
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 2: my truth to my family, then so should she. But

860
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,400
Speaker 2: I didn't have those words, didn't even know I wanted

861
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 2: those things until after she was gone. All I wanted

862
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:18,040
Speaker 2: was her in my arms all night. But the clanking

863
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 2: of dishes, the smell of Stelle coffee, and the absolute

864
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:23,839
Speaker 2: hetero vibe of Westchester kept me so aware of how

865
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:27,880
Speaker 2: unattainable that was. Where could our type of love grow? Anyway?

866
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 1: Yeah? So that was with Laney, her EXXS. So she

867
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 1: like loves and made this like mix CD for She

868
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 1: kept going a mixtape, but I think it was.

869
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:40,799
Speaker 2: A city.

870
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 1: It was.

871
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:45,120
Speaker 2: It was a CD, but like you call it a mixtape,

872
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:48,879
Speaker 2: like not the old throwbag, especially from our generation She's

873
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 2: worn nineteen eighty three. Yes, yes, we called it a mixtape.

874
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:56,160
Speaker 2: I was confused. Okay, sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

875
00:49:56,520 --> 00:50:00,400
Speaker 1: But this was another area where Julia didn't feel like

876
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 1: she could speak up or she was questioning. Am I

877
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:05,319
Speaker 1: being too much? Am I asking too much? Am I

878
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:09,279
Speaker 1: being too needy? All of those things? Which reading it

879
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,279
Speaker 1: and I'm someone who has those questions as well. I

880
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:14,480
Speaker 1: was like, no, this is she would not respond to

881
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:18,840
Speaker 1: your text. You can't respond to a text, a phone call, okay,

882
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:19,840
Speaker 1: but if you got.

883
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:21,120
Speaker 2: Mad at her, it's like, just call me. One of

884
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:25,279
Speaker 2: mergency was like, no, that's rude.

885
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:26,480
Speaker 1: That's rude.

886
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:32,160
Speaker 2: Not good, she's toxice needed to go, and she did.

887
00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:34,080
Speaker 1: And good for Juliet for being like, you know what,

888
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:35,840
Speaker 1: I hope you have a happy life. I hope you

889
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:38,319
Speaker 1: have a night like mine that I just had. But

890
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:38,839
Speaker 1: we're good.

891
00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:40,320
Speaker 2: Discover yourself.

892
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:45,840
Speaker 1: Yes, there are also U conversations around polly dating and

893
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:50,120
Speaker 1: what that looks like. There's the big breakup that happens

894
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 1: that we a lot of us I feel related to,

895
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:55,240
Speaker 1: and how miserable you feel and can't take a shower

896
00:50:55,280 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 1: and you don't want to eat. All that stuff. Also

897
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 1: family huge seem in this. I did want to shout

898
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:13,359
Speaker 1: out all the nerd references, and now that I know,

899
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:20,160
Speaker 1: Rivera writes re marvel of like, yep, I love it.

900
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 1: But I do think one of the biggest themes that

901
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 1: kind of weaves through all of this is seeking advice

902
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 1: from other women. And one of the things that stood

903
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:36,239
Speaker 1: out to me is when Juliette gets her period and

904
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:39,200
Speaker 1: like stains the sheets at Harlow's house, she has like

905
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:41,760
Speaker 1: the memory of her mom helping her with her period.

906
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 1: And then what Harlow does is essentially like get in

907
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:51,319
Speaker 1: the bathtub and relax, and here's some organic tampons and

908
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:54,239
Speaker 1: here's some but you know not but I'm not saying

909
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:58,440
Speaker 1: but it was like a difference. It was a stark difference.

910
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:01,799
Speaker 2: I didn't be of an incident in which I was

911
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:05,759
Speaker 2: in Brooklyn and we were hanging out with a lot

912
00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:11,399
Speaker 2: of hippie ish people. They were they they went ups

913
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:13,479
Speaker 2: for diving to get a chunk of their food because

914
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 2: they're like, you know, whole Foods throws out so many

915
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 2: things and it's so wasteful and all these things. And

916
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:20,200
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, yeah, cool, cool, cool. They had the

917
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 2: you know sign over the toilet if it's yellow leaded mellow,

918
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:25,759
Speaker 2: you know, like they literally that stuff. I was like, Wow,

919
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 2: people actually write this, okay. And I was like, I

920
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:31,040
Speaker 2: need I needed a tampon. And she brought me an

921
00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 2: organic tampon and this is the first time I'd seen

922
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 2: one without an applicator, and I was like, oh no,

923
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:40,080
Speaker 2: what do I do with this? I was very very confused,

924
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:41,960
Speaker 2: and I kind of just sat there and stared at

925
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:43,759
Speaker 2: it for a second. I'm like and this was right.

926
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 2: I was at the beginning of college, so around the

927
00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:48,359
Speaker 2: same timeframe as as Julia would be going through her thing,

928
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:52,240
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I don't I don't know what okay,

929
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:54,480
Speaker 2: And I tried to use it. I was not good

930
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 2: with it because it was not something like you have

931
00:52:56,960 --> 00:52:59,239
Speaker 2: to get used to, like how comfortable you are with

932
00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:02,880
Speaker 2: your body, like all these things, and like plastic applicators,

933
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 2: even with those, I had to be like they have

934
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:06,279
Speaker 2: to be silky and smooth. I couldn't even use the

935
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:07,960
Speaker 2: paper ones at that point. This is a lot of detail,

936
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:11,160
Speaker 2: but I just remember that moment of like, yeah, but

937
00:53:11,239 --> 00:53:12,719
Speaker 2: I could only keep it in for a little bit

938
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:15,400
Speaker 2: because I did not put it in far enough tampon

939
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 2: users you know, you know what I'm talking about, and

940
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:19,399
Speaker 2: so I was like, yep, nope, that was a good

941
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:24,799
Speaker 2: tried though. I just remember those moments of doing that

942
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:29,760
Speaker 2: as well as I loved No offense to anybody in Portland,

943
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 2: we love you. I'm sure it's not like this at all,

944
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:37,600
Speaker 2: But her talking about how the UH transit smelled was

945
00:53:37,719 --> 00:53:41,880
Speaker 2: so different, because like everybody was all about like the

946
00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:46,600
Speaker 2: no deodorant and like white people having dreads and not

947
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:48,439
Speaker 2: knowing how to really care for it, like all these

948
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:51,880
Speaker 2: things and then all that smell and She's like, yeah,

949
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:55,919
Speaker 2: the Bronx subway system was much better, like coming from

950
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:58,359
Speaker 2: one smell to a different smell. And I was like yeah,

951
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:00,440
Speaker 2: because when I went to this house with all of

952
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:02,520
Speaker 2: the people that, I'm like, I've never hung out with

953
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 2: people like this, which I feel like I'm missing out,

954
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:06,600
Speaker 2: and I was really glad to meet them. They were

955
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 2: very kind and sweet people, but like that was a

956
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:14,560
Speaker 2: whole new experience. I was like, this is a different smell.

957
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 2: This is this body odor fresh, no baden, no body

958
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 2: odor is different, isn't new? And like I was like, Okay,

959
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:27,240
Speaker 2: this is a whole different world, like her code jumping

960
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:29,520
Speaker 2: into that world. It made me quite like I was like,

961
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:32,000
Speaker 2: you know, I get it, and like that kind of

962
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:35,240
Speaker 2: experience for her to be like, all right, what is happening?

963
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:37,600
Speaker 2: I just want you to leave me alone, quit telling

964
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:41,160
Speaker 2: me to love my period, and to like embrace this,

965
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:43,680
Speaker 2: Like what is this? I guess I'm at least at

966
00:54:43,719 --> 00:54:45,840
Speaker 2: the same time, like she was like, but wow, the

967
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:48,120
Speaker 2: way that you were like telling me thank you for

968
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:51,960
Speaker 2: bleeding on my mattress, that's a new level, right.

969
00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 1: Juliet was like I could just you have to like

970
00:54:55,760 --> 00:55:00,040
Speaker 1: tile and all. Harla was like, you don't need that.

971
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:04,000
Speaker 2: What we'll do, We're gonna fix it with the breeding

972
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:07,320
Speaker 2: and for what it was worth in the book Julia,

973
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:09,439
Speaker 2: for her it worked. She had like I will say,

974
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:12,000
Speaker 2: so something to like in a nice bath and being

975
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 2: catered for, Like that's lovely.

976
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:17,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want to again. It was just the

977
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:20,520
Speaker 1: difference between like, oh, kind of telling the.

978
00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 2: Crash course when you're from one world to another and

979
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 2: trying to like I eventually was able to use the

980
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:29,279
Speaker 2: ones with that the applicators, FYI, it just took it.

981
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:30,520
Speaker 2: Like the newness of it.

982
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:32,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like a whole thing.

983
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:34,440
Speaker 2: And that's kind of this thing was like for her

984
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:37,080
Speaker 2: to get these newness and then like just jumping into

985
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:42,840
Speaker 2: a different type like different way of doing things right, right.

986
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:47,040
Speaker 1: But I did enjoy, like going back to the theme

987
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:51,120
Speaker 1: of like all these women she does have, as you mentioned,

988
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:56,320
Speaker 1: memories of her mom often or her aunts often, her cousin,

989
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:59,279
Speaker 1: having like these women in her life that you were

990
00:55:59,280 --> 00:56:01,839
Speaker 1: giving her advice, whether it's the best advice or not

991
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:05,200
Speaker 1: in this case, but you know, having that and then

992
00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:08,480
Speaker 1: the research she was doing reflected that as well, like

993
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:11,319
Speaker 1: she was looking at these women, she was through that

994
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:18,400
Speaker 1: research learning about herself and in some way getting almost

995
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:22,040
Speaker 1: advice or like having her world open up and having

996
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:27,320
Speaker 1: questions that she hadn't previously asked. And one, as we've mentioned,

997
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:30,879
Speaker 1: I would say one of the biggest points of this

998
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:36,880
Speaker 1: was her cousin Ava, who just had been doing this research,

999
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:41,880
Speaker 1: was immediately like, you should be wary of this person Harlow, like,

1000
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:45,880
Speaker 1: let me give you these books and come to Miami.

1001
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:50,640
Speaker 1: And then when when Juliette did, it was this huge

1002
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:54,160
Speaker 1: like asking questions and not being judged for it and

1003
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:59,920
Speaker 1: just sharing this information and having this beautiful experience where

1004
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,960
Speaker 1: where Juliette wasn't so much in her head anymore, she

1005
00:57:04,040 --> 00:57:05,919
Speaker 1: was just like I can just be curious and she's

1006
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:07,799
Speaker 1: not gonna judge me, and I can learn these new

1007
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:09,920
Speaker 1: things and it was great.

1008
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:12,280
Speaker 2: And again I think that's something important to be about

1009
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:16,360
Speaker 2: that different communities look different and that's okay, Like you

1010
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:19,600
Speaker 2: do learn so much from that from different areas, and

1011
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:22,560
Speaker 2: whether it relates to you one way or doesn't relate

1012
00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:24,760
Speaker 2: to you that way, it doesn't mean it's wrong. And

1013
00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:27,520
Speaker 2: I think that's a bigger point in the book as well,

1014
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 2: Like just because she felt like a stranger in one

1015
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 2: specific community and then she felt more home in another

1016
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:36,600
Speaker 2: doesn't have anything to do with whether it was right

1017
00:57:36,680 --> 00:57:38,560
Speaker 2: or wrong, Like that's something that's being done right or

1018
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:41,280
Speaker 2: being done wrong. Like it's this level of understanding who

1019
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:44,440
Speaker 2: you are and your identity, and like understanding that culture

1020
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:48,120
Speaker 2: does make a difference and makes a play into what

1021
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:50,920
Speaker 2: you need to hear, what you need to see, and

1022
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:53,040
Speaker 2: how you need to feel like a part of something.

1023
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:56,320
Speaker 2: Like that's that bigger conversation. Just because you're one thing

1024
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,680
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that you fit into all these things. And

1025
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:01,800
Speaker 2: I'm like, in general, just because she was gay doesn't

1026
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:04,840
Speaker 2: mean she fit into like all the communities, and it

1027
00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 2: shouldn't have to be that way, Like we are individual people.

1028
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:10,720
Speaker 2: That's the level of intersectionality, that there are civil layers

1029
00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:12,560
Speaker 2: to who you are as a person, and I think

1030
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:15,960
Speaker 2: that's something they remember. But also that she found everything beneficial.

1031
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,200
Speaker 2: She learned so much about herself in those levels, and

1032
00:58:18,240 --> 00:58:21,640
Speaker 2: I think that's something that's really really well presented.

1033
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:27,919
Speaker 1: Yes, in this book. I do too, because also going

1034
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:32,200
Speaker 1: back to the confrontation she has at the end with Harlow,

1035
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 1: where she sort of accepts what's happened. She kind of

1036
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:40,480
Speaker 1: she finds her voice, and she says something along the

1037
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:43,400
Speaker 1: lines of like, you know, your book was so important

1038
00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:46,120
Speaker 1: to me, but this was about me, Like I found

1039
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:48,880
Speaker 1: my voice. That was just one tiny part of it.

1040
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 1: And now I've found other people and now I'm going

1041
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 1: to write this story and I'm going to be a voice.

1042
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:59,840
Speaker 1: And like, right, I think that was really well said.

1043
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:02,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's wonderful because it opened a door, like

1044
00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:05,680
Speaker 2: it literally opened her world to something and it was

1045
00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:08,480
Speaker 2: a portal, but it wasn't the end all, like it's

1046
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:12,600
Speaker 2: it will be significant for her always, but it's not

1047
00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:15,760
Speaker 2: the impact and the Bible for her or like the

1048
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:17,960
Speaker 2: instruction book book for her that as it was at

1049
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:23,880
Speaker 2: the beginning, like she's developing herself and creating her own Yeah.

1050
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like having that realization and be like okay,

1051
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:31,880
Speaker 1: that was like one part and now yeah, it's all

1052
00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:35,040
Speaker 1: of this. And speaking of I did think there was

1053
00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:39,520
Speaker 1: a powerful theme of transformation and rebirth in this. When

1054
00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:44,920
Speaker 1: she goes Ava takes Juliette to a queer party for

1055
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:50,440
Speaker 1: people of color, she gets a haircut and it's just

1056
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:55,000
Speaker 1: like a really empowering experience for her because I guess

1057
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:59,800
Speaker 1: and I'm paraphrasing here, but she was like a queer haircut.

1058
01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:02,720
Speaker 1: She felt like it was like a queer haircut, and

1059
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:05,560
Speaker 1: she really liked it, and everybody was complimentary of it,

1060
01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 1: like everybody was like, Wow, this looks amazing. And also

1061
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:15,760
Speaker 1: transformation just on personal levels, like her family kind of

1062
01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:19,600
Speaker 1: like the people who weren't accepting her mother mainly kind

1063
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:23,040
Speaker 1: of making this pledge to learn because they were like,

1064
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:26,040
Speaker 1: we love you whatever happens, but we want to learn.

1065
01:00:26,400 --> 01:00:29,480
Speaker 1: And Juliette working to learn throughout all of this, and

1066
01:00:29,560 --> 01:00:32,880
Speaker 1: they have this conversation, her and her mom have this

1067
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:36,960
Speaker 1: conversation about like, what are you gonna do now after

1068
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:41,880
Speaker 1: the internship and her mom brings up this conversation they

1069
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:44,800
Speaker 1: had a while back, and here's a quote from that.

1070
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:48,200
Speaker 1: You said reading would make me brilliant, but writing would

1071
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:52,240
Speaker 1: make me infinite, which is a great quote. And here

1072
01:00:52,400 --> 01:00:56,040
Speaker 1: is another quote. All the women in my life were

1073
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:59,120
Speaker 1: telling me the same thing. My story, my truth, my life,

1074
01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:01,640
Speaker 1: my voice. All of that had to be protected and

1075
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:04,560
Speaker 1: put into the world by me. No one else, no

1076
01:01:04,600 --> 01:01:06,600
Speaker 1: one could take that from me. I had to let

1077
01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:09,800
Speaker 1: go of my fear. I didn't know what I was

1078
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:13,200
Speaker 1: afraid of. I wondered if I'd ever speak my truth

1079
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:18,840
Speaker 1: as she did she did, and that it was also

1080
01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:22,720
Speaker 1: very radical power of self love at the end of

1081
01:01:22,840 --> 01:01:29,280
Speaker 1: like nope, I'm worthy of telling my story and of

1082
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:34,960
Speaker 1: being angry and of having this voice. It was really Yeah,

1083
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 1: I really loved it. It's great.

1084
01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:39,160
Speaker 2: It was very good, And like I said, I think

1085
01:01:39,160 --> 01:01:42,760
Speaker 2: it hit on so many different levels with her story,

1086
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:46,200
Speaker 2: whether it's just about finding our identity going out in

1087
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:49,880
Speaker 2: the world from her like small corner to like what

1088
01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:53,000
Speaker 2: the bigger world looks like seeing family connecting and then

1089
01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:55,520
Speaker 2: connecting on a different level that you didn't realize that

1090
01:01:55,560 --> 01:01:57,400
Speaker 2: you could have with your family and people around you.

1091
01:01:57,600 --> 01:02:01,400
Speaker 2: But yeah, like having that level and yourself once again,

1092
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:05,160
Speaker 2: like she is finding new levels of herself. I love

1093
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:08,240
Speaker 2: that it grew from like Okay, I'm a feminist, Okay,

1094
01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:12,520
Speaker 2: I'm a lesbian, Okay, I'm an intersectional like lesbian, Okay,

1095
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:15,400
Speaker 2: I'm a writer, intersexual lesbian, like all these levels where

1096
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:18,440
Speaker 2: she really get to like explore herself, explore her loves,

1097
01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:21,240
Speaker 2: explore her identities. Yeah, I think it's also beautiful that

1098
01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:23,280
Speaker 2: she does talk about different levels of love. She talks

1099
01:02:23,280 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 2: about loving Harlowe, she talks about loving Kira, she talks

1100
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:29,320
Speaker 2: about loving Laney, she talks about loving her mom. Like

1101
01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:32,000
Speaker 2: these different levels of love that she felt and not

1102
01:02:32,120 --> 01:02:35,240
Speaker 2: want to deny any of those, but at the same

1103
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:37,920
Speaker 2: time like trying to deal with what that looks like

1104
01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:41,120
Speaker 2: for her and what those relationships were for her, and

1105
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:44,280
Speaker 2: appreciating that type of love, Like I really genuinely love

1106
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:48,400
Speaker 2: all of that level that she had to those relationships.

1107
01:02:48,840 --> 01:02:51,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do too, because it takes a lot of

1108
01:02:51,240 --> 01:02:57,840
Speaker 1: work to recognize what a love did and then kind

1109
01:02:57,840 --> 01:03:01,360
Speaker 1: of compartmentalize like, Okay, it was this important to me,

1110
01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 1: but I can, I can move on from it, but

1111
01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:07,560
Speaker 1: also remember it. So Yeah, definitely check it out if

1112
01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 1: you haven't already. As always, if you have any suggestions

1113
01:03:12,840 --> 01:03:15,480
Speaker 1: for this segment, please let us know. You can email

1114
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:17,960
Speaker 1: us at Stephania Momsteff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can

1115
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:19,640
Speaker 1: find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, or on

1116
01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:22,200
Speaker 1: Instagram and TikTok at stuff I Never Told you girls

1117
01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 1: on YouTube. We have a t public store and we

1118
01:03:24,160 --> 01:03:26,280
Speaker 1: have a book you can get wherever you get your books.

1119
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:29,000
Speaker 1: Thanks as always to our super producer Christina or executive

1120
01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:31,880
Speaker 1: brucer Maya and our contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks

1121
01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:33,800
Speaker 1: to you for listening. Stuff I Never Told You is

1122
01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:35,880
Speaker 1: Protection by Heart Radio. For more podcasts on my heart Radio,

1123
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:37,760
Speaker 1: you can check out the heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

1124
01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:46,960
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,