1 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,480 Speaker 1: What we're asking you all to do is really be 2 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,239 Speaker 1: honest with yourself about your relationship with food and with 3 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:19,119 Speaker 1: your body and what's going on. Um. And so that's 4 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,200 Speaker 1: really what it's about, is like you're not good, bad, 5 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 1: right or wrong, but like, is your relationship with your 6 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:26,600 Speaker 1: body and is your relationship with food working for you? 7 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:30,160 Speaker 1: If you're really being honest um, And if it's not, 8 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: there's so much more freedom to be had and healing, 9 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: Like you don't have to live like this. Hi, guys, 10 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:40,400 Speaker 1: and welcome to another episode of You Need Therapy. I'm Cat, 11 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:44,240 Speaker 1: I'm your host, and again another great episode. I am 12 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: excited for you guys to listen to. So if you 13 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:50,879 Speaker 1: don't know already, I am a therapist who specializes in 14 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: eating disorders and body image and exercise addiction. And I'm 15 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 1: also somebody who's experienced a lot of that myself, and 16 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 1: today I just wanted to jump in and give you 17 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 1: guys the one on one basics of it all. I 18 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 1: think there's a lot of confusion when it comes to 19 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 1: what a needing disorder is, the types. Who knew there 20 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: were so many types? And guess what, you don't have 21 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 1: to fit perfectly into one of them um to have 22 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,839 Speaker 1: a needing disorder or to struggle with disordered eating, and 23 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 1: I talk about the differences in body dysmorphia and distorted 24 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 1: body image. And I think a lot of these conversations 25 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:25,560 Speaker 1: are important to be had and to be heard because 26 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 1: there is so much that is just not known to 27 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,679 Speaker 1: the general public or understood. So I hope you guys 28 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 1: get a lot out of this. Again, I have my 29 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: friend Megan on in this episode to talk about the 30 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,320 Speaker 1: stuff with me, and she adds a lot of value 31 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 1: to that conversation. Again, you can follow me at at 32 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: cat dot defata. You can follow the podcast that at 33 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 1: You Need Therapy Podcast, and you can go ahead and 34 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 1: be part of our family by joining the Self Love 35 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 1: Club by going to the website You Need Therapy podcast 36 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:00,400 Speaker 1: dot com and subscribing to our weekly news letter that 37 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 1: we call the Self Love Club. You guys can also 38 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 1: check out our merch while you're on the website and 39 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: just see what we have to offer. I hope you 40 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: guys get something out of this episode and have a 41 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: wonderful rest of your week. So it's need a Week 42 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,560 Speaker 1: For you guys that don't know what need a Week is. 43 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 1: It is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. There is tons 44 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 1: of stuff going on this week around Nashville if you 45 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: live in Nashville. So if you guys want to get 46 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 1: involved with any of that stuff, I'll definitely make a 47 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 1: post of all of the events that I'm aware of, 48 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 1: So stay tuned for all that info. But our part 49 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 1: is just doing an episode on on eating disorders. So 50 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,639 Speaker 1: with that being said, I first want to throw out 51 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:48,520 Speaker 1: there that eating disorders are extremely complex um in a lot, 52 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,400 Speaker 1: if not most cases, so um And just like part 53 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 1: of that, it's eating disorders are co occurring with another 54 00:02:56,480 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: mental health disorder, which that could be like PTSD, depression, 55 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: bipolar anxiety, like literally anything. Sure, So it's I say 56 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 1: that just we're going to be literally touching the surface 57 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: of stuff today. So what we're going to do is 58 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:22,919 Speaker 1: do a brief overview of some body image, embody dysmorphia stuff. 59 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 1: We're going to talk about the types of eating disorders 60 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 1: and kind of what they look like, and then we're 61 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:30,200 Speaker 1: going to talk about one of the most socially accepted 62 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 1: and celebrated eating disorders that you actually might not know 63 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 1: is a thing, so or actually just want to Yeah, 64 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: you want it, you want it to not be a 65 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: thing I know for me and Megan. You can speak 66 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: your piece on this, but this is this is a 67 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 1: very very very important episode for me, and it is 68 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 1: a very important topic. And I don't just think that 69 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 1: because I work with these people primarily. I think this 70 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: because more than likely you you are you probably know 71 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:06,280 Speaker 1: somebody or you were struggling with some form of disordered 72 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 1: eating order, eating disorder. Like, it's just the odds are 73 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 1: in your favor for that, um. And what a lot 74 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 1: of people don't know is that you disorders have the 75 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:20,279 Speaker 1: second I'm gonna say that again, second highest mortality rate 76 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:25,280 Speaker 1: of all mental health disorders, and that's only under opioid addiction, 77 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 1: which is like that's a really big deal and really 78 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,240 Speaker 1: wild if you just stop and think about that, Like 79 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:37,040 Speaker 1: what you're saying is eating disorders kill more Like the 80 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 1: second it's the second most deadly mental health disorder out there. 81 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 1: And also it's probably I don't have any statistics for this, 82 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:53,600 Speaker 1: probably the most normalized and so it's acceptable and celebrated 83 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,359 Speaker 1: thing out there, which is so I think that's some 84 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 1: of the passion like we both hold for that is 85 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 1: it's just like really hard to know that and you know, 86 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:07,479 Speaker 1: working in what was interesting working in in treatment. I 87 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:10,840 Speaker 1: worked at a really cool center that had you could 88 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: you didn't have to go there for eating sort you 89 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 1: could go there for other things. But what we found 90 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 1: is that it was so um what's the word that 91 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 1: I'm looking for, not likely, so frequent that somebody would 92 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,599 Speaker 1: come in with one thing and I have no idea 93 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 1: that they're struggling with disordered eating or extras addiction or 94 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 1: body images like they don't know. And so that's part 95 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,640 Speaker 1: of my hope for um, just this episode of getting 96 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,919 Speaker 1: some information out and letting people know what's normal and 97 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 1: what's not normal, um, what can lead to what? Because 98 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 1: if we can try to help other people identify these things, 99 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:51,600 Speaker 1: I hope is that we can essentially in the long run, 100 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 1: save some lives and if not, save people from some 101 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 1: danger and some pain. And I think something like that's 102 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: also important to know is the mortality are not Sometimes 103 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,800 Speaker 1: they are caused by the eating disorder themselves, and then 104 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 1: a lot of times they're caused by suicides as a result. Yeah, 105 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,359 Speaker 1: And that's a really good point because I think some 106 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: people think that like eating disorders are only deadly if 107 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 1: you were like like really severely intorexic and you have 108 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 1: low body weights like no, like anybody, like any kind 109 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 1: of body can and be affected that way. Um, you 110 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 1: don't have to just have super low body weight. And 111 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:34,480 Speaker 1: we'll talk more about that, um and a second. But anyway, 112 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 1: I guess my hope is I want people to start 113 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,640 Speaker 1: being more scared of these disorders instead of celebrating them. Yeah, 114 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: and awareness, like if we don't have awareness of what's 115 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: going on, you can't change anything, Like how could you 116 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 1: possibly change something you aren't aware of? And so if 117 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 1: anything through this, if people can really wake up to like, 118 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaker 1: oh I have that or oh I have this, and 119 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,480 Speaker 1: maybe get some help or some intervention at the front end, 120 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:01,400 Speaker 1: and instead of continuing to celebrate it, then things can 121 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:05,559 Speaker 1: actually change totally. Um. And then the last thing I'll 122 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 1: just say before we dive into the details is I 123 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 1: want people to start thinking or attempt to start thinking 124 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 1: of all eating disorders almost as equal, because I think some, 125 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 1: like we said, some get really celebrated and some get um, 126 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 1: this reputation of a form of laziness or something like that, 127 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 1: and it's not that like, none of these are that. 128 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 1: And I kind of want to pull some of the 129 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 1: shame out of some of the toxic shame out of 130 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 1: some of that. So, um yeah, because I'm sure like 131 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 1: I can relate to that. Even in my own personal 132 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 1: story of um suffering with bulimia for so long, I 133 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: would always think to myself of like, oh, if I 134 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 1: could just be interrexic, like that would be better because 135 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: I would rather talk about how I don't eat then 136 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 1: talk about some of these other behaviors. And so then 137 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 1: there's all this comparison of like I wish I had 138 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,280 Speaker 1: like this one instead of that one, when really it's 139 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: like everybody's suffering, and which we're going to come back 140 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 1: to that when we talk about the specific eating disorders UM. 141 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 1: But before we get into that, I kind of wanted 142 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 1: to talk about body image first, because one, eating disorders 143 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 1: aren't just about body image, Like I think that is 144 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: a myth out there, that is a popular belief that 145 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: is just not true. Um. But the thing is, the 146 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 1: best known environmental contributor to the development of an eating 147 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 1: disorder is a social cultural idealization of thinness, which is 148 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 1: just means like our what is it like promotion of 149 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: like thin is better. So that's why I think that 150 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: happens now again, eating disorders much more complex than body image. 151 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,720 Speaker 1: But I do think that like this has almost like 152 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 1: that promotion has the bones to create a space for 153 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 1: somebody to develop an eating disorder, if that makes sense. 154 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,440 Speaker 1: That makes sense, yeah, And which is even crazier if 155 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:59,679 Speaker 1: you think about it, like marketer marketers are basically controlling 156 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: the world right, because it's really marketing that's made the 157 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:08,720 Speaker 1: push towards the thinness being superior. And so when we 158 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:12,680 Speaker 1: really think about it, we are literally letting marketers and 159 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,960 Speaker 1: companies control how we live our lives and then lead 160 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,839 Speaker 1: to sicknesses. And when I talk about with clients all 161 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 1: the time, is that like we don't have to have 162 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:27,600 Speaker 1: the opinions, Like my opinion doesn't have to be your opinion. 163 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 1: I think I even said this on an episode, Like 164 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 1: you can think I'm like that and disgusting, and I 165 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 1: can be like, Okay, cool, I don't believe that. And 166 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,720 Speaker 1: so we also get to choose like if we believe 167 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,080 Speaker 1: this stuff or if we don't believe this stuff. But 168 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:44,960 Speaker 1: it's so interesting because in that if marketers and like 169 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 1: all of the promotion of beauty was larger bodies, would 170 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:53,000 Speaker 1: we want that? Like, then would we all be celebrating 171 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 1: binge eating rather than anorexic and restricting, Like, isn't that 172 00:09:56,840 --> 00:10:00,200 Speaker 1: crazy to think about? Well, I mean, but you can 173 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 1: look back too, Like I always think to myself, like 174 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, Dann, I don't know what era it is, 175 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: but I'm like, I guess I go way back. But 176 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 1: like I would have had the perfect body for that 177 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,960 Speaker 1: for that decade or that time period, like more curvy, thicker. 178 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 1: It's like that would have been perfect for that time period. 179 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 1: And I'm like, but this one, everybody's decided that things 180 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:25,040 Speaker 1: should be different. So yeah, it really is like even 181 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 1: as we look around, what's been celebrated in different parts 182 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:32,760 Speaker 1: are different time periods, it's been really different. Or even 183 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 1: I lived in Africa, Eastern Africa for a while, and 184 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 1: over there it's totally different what's celebrated in terms of 185 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:42,720 Speaker 1: body shape, size, that kind of thing, which that's like 186 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,440 Speaker 1: for me, I think that's a really cool thing to 187 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,920 Speaker 1: be able to realize because that does allow us to 188 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:51,080 Speaker 1: have some power and it's really what we are exposed to, 189 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 1: and so we have to be really careful about what 190 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,000 Speaker 1: we're exposing ourselves too. I did want to say this 191 00:10:55,040 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 1: because I just think it's very interesting. Um, but I 192 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 1: read on the interwebs on a loyal website buzz Feed. 193 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:09,079 Speaker 1: This actually came from Anita's actual website where they have 194 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,720 Speaker 1: like a lot of statistics and stuff and research. But 195 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,520 Speaker 1: they said by age six, girls especially start to express 196 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 1: concerns about their own weight or shape. By age six. 197 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,720 Speaker 1: I have to say it again, six, that is crazy. 198 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: You are in kindergarten at age six, so you're already 199 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 1: expressing concerns about your own weight and shape. And forty 200 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: to six of elementary school girls that's six to twelve 201 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 1: are concerned about their weight or about becoming too fat, 202 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,640 Speaker 1: and of course that just gets worse. But oh my god, 203 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,720 Speaker 1: I mean, I know my stuff started in elementary school, 204 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:47,560 Speaker 1: but forty to sixty that is like half two more 205 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 1: than half of girls are worried about being fat when 206 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 1: they really should just be, like, I don't know, worried 207 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,440 Speaker 1: about enjoying their lives, maybe playing on the playgrounds, yeah, 208 00:11:57,559 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 1: going and getting who can get the swing for recess 209 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:05,440 Speaker 1: like I Anyway, that makes me sad. So I feel like, 210 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,440 Speaker 1: and this might be I wanted your experience with this too, 211 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 1: because I am I guess I specialize in needing disorders 212 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 1: and body image and that's kind of like that's my 213 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: like go to thing. Megan works with that, UM and 214 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 1: and work like can work with that well. So I 215 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: want to know because I have people that specifically come 216 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:27,880 Speaker 1: to me and they're like, I want to work on 217 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:32,320 Speaker 1: my body image UM, And I think what people come 218 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:36,560 Speaker 1: in looking for is not actually what I do. And 219 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 1: so I don't know if you have before I talk 220 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:40,559 Speaker 1: about that, if you have any experience to that, or 221 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:44,000 Speaker 1: if you have any like just questions or things that 222 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:47,719 Speaker 1: you know you've done around that. Isn't that, I mean, 223 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,360 Speaker 1: the biggest thing I think back about that hearing you 224 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,720 Speaker 1: say it is like, yeah, so many people come in 225 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:56,520 Speaker 1: and want to work on like this specific thing, and 226 00:12:56,640 --> 00:13:00,439 Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, in order to work on your relayationship 227 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:04,040 Speaker 1: with your girlfriend or boyfriend or significant other, whatever, we 228 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 1: actually need to talk about like your childhood mom, your 229 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 1: mom or your dad. At one time I used to 230 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,040 Speaker 1: joke that on my like four arms, I was going 231 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,840 Speaker 1: to get like mom on one and dad on the 232 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:18,360 Speaker 1: other and just like raise them up in session. And 233 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,280 Speaker 1: so it is, Yeah, it's really hard to like want 234 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:23,520 Speaker 1: to work on this one specific thing I feel like 235 00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 1: it'd be like saying I want to learn calculus, but 236 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,000 Speaker 1: I don't want to start with learning how to add 237 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,679 Speaker 1: and subtract. It's like I don't know how to do that. 238 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:36,280 Speaker 1: As a therapist, like I don't know that we can 239 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 1: do that. So yeah, I would say the similar thing 240 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 1: is like people want to attack the problem, which of 241 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:44,720 Speaker 1: course because you're in pain and you want to be 242 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,200 Speaker 1: out of that pain. But sort of for us it's like, well, 243 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,000 Speaker 1: we've got to kind of look at the whole picture 244 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,600 Speaker 1: of what's really going on. So I do work with 245 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 1: people with eating disorders, and more often for me, it's 246 00:13:56,600 --> 00:14:00,120 Speaker 1: people that are really in this like high chee, you 247 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 1: were wanting to be the best, get to a certain place. 248 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 1: But I would say, I mean body image is that 249 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if it's men or women. Body image 250 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 1: is a part of everyone's life, Like it's impossible for 251 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 1: it not to be. I think, yeah, and I love 252 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 1: all of that. So what I want to what I 253 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 1: always say when to me it's like I want to come, 254 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,080 Speaker 1: I want to work on body image and like, okay, 255 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 1: well what does that mean to you? Because body image 256 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:31,760 Speaker 1: work isn't necessarily getting somebody to the point where they 257 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 1: look at their thighs and they're like, I love the 258 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 1: way my thighs touch, Like I don't know that I'll 259 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 1: ever look in them here and say that, um. And 260 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 1: so it's less about like liking what you see and 261 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 1: more about like liking who you are, you know what 262 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:54,640 Speaker 1: I mean, and um, being grateful for having a body 263 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 1: rather than like loving what it looks like. So which 264 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,360 Speaker 1: bums a lot of people. But to me, it's like 265 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 1: kind of frame a sense of like wow, because it 266 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,520 Speaker 1: would have been really hard for me to I don't 267 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 1: understand how I could get to a place and say 268 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 1: like I love my thighs and you're telling me that 269 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 1: I can never get there and still be okay with myself. Yeah, 270 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:20,680 Speaker 1: it's like I really believe in this ideology that you 271 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:24,080 Speaker 1: don't ever have to lie to yourself. So so much 272 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 1: of my life was spent like trying to look in 273 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 1: the mirror. We were joking about affirmations before we went 274 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 1: on live, but so much of my life was like, Oh, 275 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 1: if I just look in the mirror for long enough 276 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,600 Speaker 1: and be like I love my legs, I love my legs, 277 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 1: I love my legs and say it enough times, then 278 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 1: eventually I'll come to love my legs. Yeah. Actually, if 279 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,760 Speaker 1: you really deep dive into research around affirmations, if you're 280 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:51,640 Speaker 1: affirming something you don't believe, it actually makes you worse 281 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: off because you end up feeling shame that you don't 282 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 1: believe it. And so I love what you're saying because 283 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, I may not be able to help 284 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 1: you love your body exactly every part of it, exactly 285 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 1: how it is, and there's still a lot of freedom 286 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 1: to be had because you don't have to lie to yourself. 287 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 1: You don't have to beat yourself over the head into 288 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 1: trying to like like certain things you don't like. But 289 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,480 Speaker 1: actually there's this whole place where you can come to 290 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 1: acceptance around your body and then live out of that. Right. Yeah, totally, totally, 291 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 1: And one day I will say about because my clients 292 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 1: are like Catherine Megan said about the affirmation and the shame, 293 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 1: that there's a difference in like forcing yourself to like 294 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:43,720 Speaker 1: like something physical or whatever about yourself. And also affirmations 295 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 1: for me, when I encourage people to use them and 296 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,840 Speaker 1: look in the mirror and say them, it's more about like, hey, 297 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 1: what would it be like to practice be nice to yourself. Yes, 298 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,920 Speaker 1: I'm totally on board with that. Or instead of saying 299 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,480 Speaker 1: like I love my legs, what about just saying I'm 300 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 1: working to love my legs, Like that's what I'm talking about, 301 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,880 Speaker 1: Like there are little ways you can change the affirmation 302 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,720 Speaker 1: to make it true. Yeah, and even saying something like 303 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,400 Speaker 1: i feel uncomfortable looking at myself, but I'm worth doing this, 304 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,439 Speaker 1: Like it's like that doesn't happen. So I just had 305 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,440 Speaker 1: to say that because I knew people would be like, yeah, 306 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,280 Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that, Kavin, because Megan said 307 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:20,240 Speaker 1: it makes it worse. Oh yes, thank you for clearing 308 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,560 Speaker 1: that up, because affirmations definitely do not make things worse 309 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 1: if you can find a way way it's true for you. Yeah, 310 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,280 Speaker 1: and so I really love we were joking about before 311 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 1: this when I wasn't I made Katherine do affirmations as 312 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:36,000 Speaker 1: we were testing the microphones, and then I said back 313 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:39,199 Speaker 1: to you, do you remember what your affirmation was? Probably 314 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:43,800 Speaker 1: I'm so beautiful and amazing. Yes you are, but she's 315 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,399 Speaker 1: like what you would see in like a movie. But 316 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,840 Speaker 1: I was like, began, have you ever done that? She 317 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:50,359 Speaker 1: was like I just did it. Literally, Yeah. When I 318 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 1: was in treatment, people would stand up on the podium 319 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:57,720 Speaker 1: in the cafeteria and you would have to say something 320 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,080 Speaker 1: nice about yourself. But that's really where I learned and 321 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,840 Speaker 1: how to say something that I was working on believing 322 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,600 Speaker 1: was like what's true. So instead of if I was 323 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,480 Speaker 1: having a really bad day where like I didn't feel 324 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:10,200 Speaker 1: good about myself, I could find something of like I'm 325 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:15,840 Speaker 1: working to love myself. Um, and then everybody would say back, yeah, 326 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 1: like you're at camp or some cult or something. But 327 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,000 Speaker 1: that everybody say back, yes you are, And I was like, 328 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:24,480 Speaker 1: this is so like stupid, but this is also so amazing. 329 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,960 Speaker 1: But I'm so glad that you have that quiation because 330 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: even with the affirmation work, I'm like I when I 331 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 1: tell clients to do those things, I'm like, I know 332 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:36,720 Speaker 1: it sounds annoying and dumb, but just do it, like 333 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,320 Speaker 1: essentially just like humor me a couple of times and 334 00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:43,160 Speaker 1: see what happens. Because there's so much power in speaking 335 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 1: things that like you like want and you truly truly 336 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:51,520 Speaker 1: want for right, It's like speaking too into existence and 337 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:55,880 Speaker 1: putting that out there. It's weird and also it's helpful. 338 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,360 Speaker 1: So I encourage my individual clients to do the same thing, like, hey, 339 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:01,600 Speaker 1: what do you work king on? What are you wanting 340 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,280 Speaker 1: in your life? Because the more that you talk about something, 341 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,560 Speaker 1: the more it tends to happen. Yeah, And so if 342 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,920 Speaker 1: you're wanting to love your body, the more you're telling 343 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 1: people I'm working on loving my body, I'm wanting to 344 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,240 Speaker 1: love my body, I would guess the more it will 345 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 1: show up rather than like trying to hide it and 346 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,440 Speaker 1: not tell anybody and then let it be the secret thing. 347 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:24,399 Speaker 1: And yeah, totally okay, So getting back into this, I 348 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,439 Speaker 1: want to talk before we move on out of the 349 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:32,040 Speaker 1: body image stuff, just two things. One body image work. 350 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,160 Speaker 1: What I really would say is that the basis of it. 351 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 1: If if you're like I'm struggling with this, it's looking 352 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,719 Speaker 1: how to view not view your body in terms of 353 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,600 Speaker 1: good and bad. And I say there's three main components 354 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,720 Speaker 1: in this one. There's going to have to be a 355 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 1: shift in the content that you're exposed to, which we 356 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:52,320 Speaker 1: talked about. What can you be more specific about that? Yeah, 357 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 1: So like what you're taught is usually what you believe. 358 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:59,119 Speaker 1: So the content, whether that's what accounts you fall on Instagram? 359 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 1: What was that his stick that I just read that 360 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 1: was talking about UM. I think I'm going to bring 361 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,480 Speaker 1: it up later. It was I can bring it up now, 362 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 1: I'm already talking about it. But it was talking about 363 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:14,120 Speaker 1: people who follow like health and wellness accounts. I think 364 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 1: it was like fifty of those people that were pulled 365 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:20,680 Speaker 1: that said they've followed health and wellness accounts. Also UM 366 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 1: reported eating disorder behaviors. You know, so it's like, which, 367 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,000 Speaker 1: that's a whole another thing and why that is? But yeah, 368 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,080 Speaker 1: what are you what are you exposing yourself to? What 369 00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:31,520 Speaker 1: do you who are the people that you're hanging out with, 370 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,280 Speaker 1: what are they saying about their bodies? What about like 371 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 1: your family? Like do you lean into their beliefs? What 372 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 1: you're watching on TV? What's like? What magazines do you read? 373 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,919 Speaker 1: Do people read still read magazines? I always I don't know. 374 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,400 Speaker 1: In my head, I'm like I always think about seventeen magazines. 375 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 1: Like I used to say that like all those health magazines, 376 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:57,080 Speaker 1: like Women's Health, Health, all of those, uh, those were 377 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,399 Speaker 1: just guides to how to have the eating disorder and 378 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,760 Speaker 1: you better be leave that. I used to have five 379 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 1: magazine subscriptions. I eventually went to back every single one. 380 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: It was sick how to be super healthy pounds in 381 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:15,920 Speaker 1: three days. I'm like, yeah, I'm doing it. Yes, Oh 382 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 1: my gosh. So that's what I'm talking about there, um, 383 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,679 Speaker 1: because honestly, I want people to ask themselves, why do 384 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:26,040 Speaker 1: you think this body is more attractive than this body? Why? 385 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,640 Speaker 1: I need people to know, like why do you think that? 386 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 1: Like is that you or is that what you've been told? 387 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,520 Speaker 1: Or is that what you want to be told? Like 388 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,840 Speaker 1: you have to have a reason of why. You can't 389 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,840 Speaker 1: just say because it is. Yeah, Which it brings up 390 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,679 Speaker 1: a really good point because I think I've had a 391 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 1: few moments in my life, like I grew up playing 392 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,560 Speaker 1: so many sports and so most of my friends are 393 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,160 Speaker 1: really tall. And I was around somebody the other day 394 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,680 Speaker 1: and they were like, wow, you're like everybody's so tall, 395 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 1: You're so tall. And I was thinking to myself like, oh, 396 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 1: I've never thought about myself being tall, like that's just 397 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:02,720 Speaker 1: what my normal is. Or um, I'm getting these really 398 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:06,879 Speaker 1: amazingly badass shoes from my bridesmaids for the for the wedding, 399 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,440 Speaker 1: and so I texted everybody and was like, Hey, can 400 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 1: I get everybody's shoe size? Well? It was really funny 401 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,639 Speaker 1: because like six out of the twelve people wear a 402 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,960 Speaker 1: women's eleven, including me, And you want to know my 403 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:23,160 Speaker 1: shoes side probably small? What is it? Like A sample 404 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,160 Speaker 1: size is a seven? I know that from working at Nike, 405 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:26,960 Speaker 1: So what are you seven and a half? Six and 406 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,480 Speaker 1: a half? Oh my gosh, okay, yeah, But there was 407 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,040 Speaker 1: this experience where we were all texting in the group 408 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 1: our shoe size, and probably a lot of us like 409 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,679 Speaker 1: carried some shame around having such big feet, And I 410 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,040 Speaker 1: was like, isn't this amazing? Like this is our normal? 411 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,480 Speaker 1: Like this is normal for this group of people, And 412 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,040 Speaker 1: it really says a lot about what you're talking about. 413 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:48,720 Speaker 1: Like so much of our beliefs come from what we've 414 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 1: decided as normal and what we're around. And yes, so 415 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 1: like what we think is normal is what we're exposed 416 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,600 Speaker 1: to the majority of the time. That doesn't wine that 417 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:04,439 Speaker 1: doesn't actually mean that that's the majority of people. And 418 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,800 Speaker 1: it also doesn't mean that that's normal, because like, what 419 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,880 Speaker 1: is it normal? What is a normal body? We don't 420 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:10,920 Speaker 1: know what that. We can't answer that, and we don't 421 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,640 Speaker 1: have time to talk about it. So there's that. That's 422 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:18,040 Speaker 1: the one first thing. The other thing is a lot 423 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 1: of times people are like I want to learn how 424 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:21,959 Speaker 1: to be body positive and I want to do all 425 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,439 Speaker 1: this stuff. And I'm like, wait a second, though, like 426 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,200 Speaker 1: we might need to find like neutrality first, Like why 427 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,440 Speaker 1: don't we move towards body neutrality first before we go 428 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:35,720 Speaker 1: and like become these like advocates for like all all 429 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:39,400 Speaker 1: bodies all the time every day, you know what I mean. 430 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:43,280 Speaker 1: It's like, let's baby steps. It's almost like this black 431 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,240 Speaker 1: and white, like let's sit in the gray a little 432 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 1: bit for you and see what that's like. Um. So 433 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,160 Speaker 1: that's that part, and then the last one is asking 434 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:55,479 Speaker 1: them what do you gain from having negative body image? 435 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,120 Speaker 1: Which is I call that. I mean you can ask 436 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,199 Speaker 1: that question for a lot of problem like issue us. 437 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: I call that like the secondary reward system. There's probably 438 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 1: something you get out of having negative body image, And 439 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,440 Speaker 1: that doesn't make sense to a lot of people because 440 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,399 Speaker 1: they're like nothing, it makes me feel like shit, And 441 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:15,040 Speaker 1: I'm like yeah, and like there's a reason that you're 442 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,359 Speaker 1: doing that, just like any other thing. There's a reason 443 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,199 Speaker 1: you talk to yourself like that, Like humans don't do 444 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 1: anything for no reason, So why do you see show 445 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:27,399 Speaker 1: up the most? They're like with clients or they get um, 446 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,760 Speaker 1: and I don't know if there's a there's not a 447 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,680 Speaker 1: most but just some common ones. Yeah, I guess one. 448 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,520 Speaker 1: If I can call this out, then nobody else can 449 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 1: call it out. If I know this about me, nobody 450 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,679 Speaker 1: else can say it and hurt me, which is like 451 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,240 Speaker 1: I like to call image like management, Like if I can, 452 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 1: let's say I'm feeling um, really, I'm feeling really gross 453 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,679 Speaker 1: one day and I think I look fat and I 454 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,639 Speaker 1: walk into a room with my friends and I'm like, oh, 455 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,360 Speaker 1: my jeans are so tight. I know my stunics hanging 456 00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,520 Speaker 1: out over them, and I sit down and then my 457 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,480 Speaker 1: friends are like, what the fuck? You look fine? But 458 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 1: it's because I feel uncomfortable if I call it out first, 459 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:06,640 Speaker 1: you can't or how often do you hear people say 460 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,480 Speaker 1: I have this big ZiT on my face, it's so annoying, 461 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:11,399 Speaker 1: blah blah blah, And I'm like, I didn't see it, 462 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:13,600 Speaker 1: but now I can't stop looking at But it's like, 463 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,440 Speaker 1: if I can call it out, then I feel more 464 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,880 Speaker 1: comfortable knowing you know that I know. But a lot 465 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,800 Speaker 1: of times they don't even so I think that's a 466 00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:24,720 Speaker 1: that's a I would probably say that's one of the 467 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,680 Speaker 1: most common reasons for that, like what you're getting out 468 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,560 Speaker 1: of it? Because what if I think that I look 469 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:35,520 Speaker 1: good and you think I look bad? That's that's really vulnerable. Yeah. Yeah, 470 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:37,119 Speaker 1: I know I tell this story, and I know I 471 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:38,879 Speaker 1: told it to you. But even in my own story, 472 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,600 Speaker 1: the secondary game for me of like the way I 473 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:45,160 Speaker 1: felt about my body really kept me safe from doing relationship. 474 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:50,280 Speaker 1: So I had this big story about how I didn't 475 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:53,919 Speaker 1: have a boyfriend. That sounds so funny to say, um, 476 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,000 Speaker 1: but I didn't have a boyfriend because of the way 477 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 1: that I looked like and if I were thinner, if 478 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,880 Speaker 1: I were prettier than guys would like me. And there 479 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,680 Speaker 1: really was this moment where I was out dancing and 480 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,520 Speaker 1: I realized like every time a guy like made eye 481 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:08,120 Speaker 1: contact with me, like he was going to come ask 482 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:09,760 Speaker 1: me to dance, I would like look at my feet. 483 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:14,000 Speaker 1: And it was really this moment of awakening that I 484 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:18,000 Speaker 1: was like, oh, like this actually might have nothing to 485 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,960 Speaker 1: do with my body and everything to do with my fear. 486 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,119 Speaker 1: And so for me, hating my body really kept me 487 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,440 Speaker 1: from having to face my fear of of like putting 488 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:30,399 Speaker 1: myself out there. Yeah, and like as cliche, is that 489 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:35,040 Speaker 1: might sound like confidence is so attractive, Like somebody who 490 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,840 Speaker 1: you can tell they like themselves. You want to be 491 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:39,959 Speaker 1: around those people because they make you feel good too. 492 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:45,000 Speaker 1: Somebody like it might not be what your body looks 493 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 1: like that somebody's attracted to, attracted to right off the bat. 494 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,879 Speaker 1: It's like their energy. Like she looked at me in 495 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,439 Speaker 1: the eyes and she was like, let's dance, and I 496 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: was like, Okay, well I'm gonna dance, you know, um, 497 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,119 Speaker 1: which is a huge lie. Like, I'm sure this shows 498 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,240 Speaker 1: up for you with clients. I'll have people that are like, well, 499 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,879 Speaker 1: when I was ten pounds like skinnier, just all the 500 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,119 Speaker 1: guys like me blah blah blah. And I'm like, I 501 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 1: guarantee you that had nothing to do with being ten 502 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,880 Speaker 1: pounds later. That had everything to do with you being 503 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:17,439 Speaker 1: more confident now. I would like to take a little 504 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,720 Speaker 1: side step right here, because there is a huge difference 505 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:26,239 Speaker 1: in negative body image and distorted body image, which I 506 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:31,479 Speaker 1: don't think most people realize. Yeah, tell us difference. I 507 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:37,320 Speaker 1: will so drum wrong everybody on the edge of their scene. 508 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:43,840 Speaker 1: What could this be? You're it's like big secret that 509 00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,800 Speaker 1: I just found out through this, Like long term study 510 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,200 Speaker 1: I did over out the course of my life. This 511 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,360 Speaker 1: is really not that I want to imagine my seat. 512 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,080 Speaker 1: I feel like you really built it up where I 513 00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:57,320 Speaker 1: was like, what is it? What is it? So okay? 514 00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:03,040 Speaker 1: So distorted body image is about what you see and 515 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,320 Speaker 1: not how you see it. It's literally about what you see. 516 00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:09,679 Speaker 1: So when somebody says they have body dysmorphia or I 517 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:12,480 Speaker 1: think she's body dysmorphia or whatever like that, body dysmorphia 518 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,400 Speaker 1: is an actual, real thing. And what I want people 519 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:18,880 Speaker 1: to know is the people that have body dysmorphia really 520 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:23,080 Speaker 1: do see their body as different than what it really is. 521 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,600 Speaker 1: That can be bigger or smaller. So I'm going to 522 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 1: try to explain why a lot of times that is 523 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:33,040 Speaker 1: and why it's really harmful for you just to be like, 524 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:37,000 Speaker 1: you don't look like that. Stop saying that. Um okay. 525 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:40,360 Speaker 1: So when somebody actually has body dysmorphia, a lot of 526 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,360 Speaker 1: times what is happening happening is that the visual image 527 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:48,600 Speaker 1: of the body through the eyes. Make sure that I'm 528 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:50,320 Speaker 1: saying this so you can follow it, so these people 529 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:54,680 Speaker 1: will follow it. So and inter receptive messages, which that 530 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,560 Speaker 1: are that signals from inside of your body, so inter 531 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:02,720 Speaker 1: receptive messages that signals from inside, So those two things 532 00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:06,240 Speaker 1: aren't matching up. So the visual visual that you're seeing 533 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 1: and basically what you're feeling is not matching up. So 534 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 1: that means that the visual information that you're getting is 535 00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:19,040 Speaker 1: impacted by the internal sensations that they're having from whatever 536 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,160 Speaker 1: thoughts and how they're trying to make sense of that. 537 00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:25,840 Speaker 1: So hopefully this will kind of wrap all that out up. 538 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:30,920 Speaker 1: If you have really loud like internal signals, those are 539 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:34,920 Speaker 1: going to translate through your body to feeling really huge 540 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,280 Speaker 1: because the internal noise is so loud that when you 541 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 1: see something that looks bigger, am I explaining that? Well? Yeah, 542 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,920 Speaker 1: if I were to say it back to you, It's 543 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:49,240 Speaker 1: like when this person visually sees with their eyes whatever 544 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 1: they're looking at, the messages in their head are so 545 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:56,040 Speaker 1: different than what they're seeing that they really believe the 546 00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:59,880 Speaker 1: messages versus the image, and to them, there's no different, 547 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:04,360 Speaker 1: there's the same, it's the same. And so you cannot 548 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,240 Speaker 1: just tell somebody that what they're seeing is not accurate 549 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:11,240 Speaker 1: because they actually really are seeing that. Um And so 550 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:14,360 Speaker 1: this is more around processing like that work would be 551 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:16,160 Speaker 1: not so much of like, how do we move you 552 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,920 Speaker 1: to like learn to like find body positivity. It's no, 553 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:22,400 Speaker 1: how do we work through the emotions and the messages 554 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:24,600 Speaker 1: and what's going on inside of your head and inside 555 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:26,680 Speaker 1: of your body And once you do that work, that 556 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:31,320 Speaker 1: will translate. Right, So two really different things, body dysmorphia 557 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:35,240 Speaker 1: and negative body image. And if you're telling somebody with 558 00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 1: body dysmorphia like you don't you're actually really skinny, You're 559 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,240 Speaker 1: really skinny, Like it's like you may as can feel 560 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 1: crazy talk to the wall because it's not lining up, 561 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,840 Speaker 1: and so what like if you have a friend that 562 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,800 Speaker 1: truly has body dysmorphia and they're saying like, I know 563 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 1: I'm fat. I know I am and you're thinking in 564 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,920 Speaker 1: your head, no, you're not. Like what do you say 565 00:30:55,960 --> 00:31:01,080 Speaker 1: back to them a friend or a client friend, UM 566 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:07,200 Speaker 1: to be honest, I wouldn't um commiserate with them and 567 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:11,160 Speaker 1: that like I wouldn't be like yeah, because there's also 568 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:14,120 Speaker 1: a reason that they're telling you that I'm fat. Right, 569 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,880 Speaker 1: So plenty of people can have body dysmorphia, but that 570 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:21,000 Speaker 1: aren't proclaiming to the world that they what they're seeing 571 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,560 Speaker 1: is not something they don't like. And so there is 572 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:27,000 Speaker 1: something in them saying that to you. So I don't 573 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,360 Speaker 1: know that I would go ahead and be like, yeah, 574 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,480 Speaker 1: you're a huge you're right. Um, It would be more 575 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,440 Speaker 1: along the lines of, like, well, what I hear you 576 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:39,200 Speaker 1: saying is that you're uncomfortable with what you see when 577 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:43,200 Speaker 1: you look in the mirror. Um, and that probably is 578 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:47,040 Speaker 1: really hard. Yeah. I don't think there would be necessarily 579 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:53,000 Speaker 1: a need to discount or like agree with them, just 580 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:56,400 Speaker 1: the fact that it sounds like you're feeling something uncomfortable, 581 00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,080 Speaker 1: so more so affirming like that they must be being 582 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:05,280 Speaker 1: a really hard time and then leaving their actual comment. Yeah, 583 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,520 Speaker 1: and then tell me about therapy, and also like that 584 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 1: the listening to the UNI Therapy podcast does not substitute 585 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:14,840 Speaker 1: as actually going to therapy. We would like to make 586 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:20,760 Speaker 1: that or any lose clients or listening to any other 587 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:28,480 Speaker 1: podcast does also not substitute therapy. That is called information overload, 588 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:33,080 Speaker 1: and it's well, it's good to take an information at 589 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,000 Speaker 1: some point you actually maybe do want to hire your 590 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:39,120 Speaker 1: own therapist your own space. Yeah, yeah, I think for 591 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:44,320 Speaker 1: that if you have somebody you know that's in that space, like, yeah, um, 592 00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:47,440 Speaker 1: that sounds like it sucks, like and whatever language makes 593 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,080 Speaker 1: sense for you and your friends don't. It doesn't have 594 00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,440 Speaker 1: to be so like I heard somebody say this, so 595 00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say it back, like whatever, however you talk 596 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:58,400 Speaker 1: to your friends, but just I would not affirm the 597 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:05,600 Speaker 1: negative belief or disperment like what it disfirmed. Yeah, and 598 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:07,959 Speaker 1: really knowing even what I hear you're saying is like 599 00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:11,360 Speaker 1: really knowing that it's not about the body, like they're 600 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,360 Speaker 1: telling you about something else, just like the eating disorder 601 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,320 Speaker 1: really isn't about food, because like you can ask, like 602 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:20,320 Speaker 1: what I hear you say that often, and I'm just 603 00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:23,200 Speaker 1: sitting here wondering, like why is that a big deal 604 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 1: for you? Why does the size of your body matter 605 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:28,840 Speaker 1: to you? Like, I think that's what I would really 606 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,120 Speaker 1: want to know as a friend, because I know for me, 607 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:34,320 Speaker 1: I don't choose my friends based on their weight, and 608 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:37,040 Speaker 1: so I would love to know for them, like why 609 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:44,280 Speaker 1: it's why it's important for them to to talk about that. Um. Cool, 610 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,480 Speaker 1: do you think we're done with that part? I could 611 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:52,440 Speaker 1: talk about body for like ever ever on ever, um, 612 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,600 Speaker 1: and about how even as a person in process of 613 00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,480 Speaker 1: like there, I very much like my body and I'm 614 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,360 Speaker 1: also in the process of figuring out how to continue 615 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:05,640 Speaker 1: to like it and deal with negative messages that I 616 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:08,879 Speaker 1: hear when I look in the mirror. Some days, yes, 617 00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:14,960 Speaker 1: because again we're not doing black and white. All are nothing. 618 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:20,120 Speaker 1: It's not every day I'm like, I'm so positive about everything, 619 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,920 Speaker 1: and that I see in the mirror that's not it. 620 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:27,560 Speaker 1: And so body image and binding positive body image and 621 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,840 Speaker 1: working through negative body image. It's not about finding a 622 00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:33,640 Speaker 1: place where you're like, Okay, I'm done, Like that's not 623 00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:39,080 Speaker 1: what it's about. Um. But I think for me, what 624 00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:42,760 Speaker 1: has been really helpful, I think is talking more about 625 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,719 Speaker 1: the things I like and less about the things I don't. 626 00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,520 Speaker 1: It's been a huge difference, like about your body. To 627 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,000 Speaker 1: be honest, nobody wants to hear you complain about your 628 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:55,000 Speaker 1: body like I as a therapist, want space space for 629 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:59,080 Speaker 1: my clients to voice their feelings. But it's really hard 630 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,360 Speaker 1: to be with a friend who is always picking themselves apart. 631 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:06,280 Speaker 1: And so I know that for me it feels better 632 00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:11,759 Speaker 1: when I'm with people that can talk kinder. I know 633 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:16,560 Speaker 1: it feels better just for me when I'm kinder. Why 634 00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,480 Speaker 1: do you like most about your body? Are you willing 635 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,279 Speaker 1: to talk about it? God? Why do you do this? 636 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:29,000 Speaker 1: I'm so curious, Like when you started talking about it, 637 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,680 Speaker 1: I wonder what she likes about her body. Yeah, I 638 00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:37,600 Speaker 1: can talk about that. What I truly, what I really 639 00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:41,920 Speaker 1: like about my body is one it has carried me 640 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,719 Speaker 1: through like so much ship and I feel like that 641 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,640 Speaker 1: to some people, I get worried when I say that, 642 00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:49,600 Speaker 1: because I'm like, oh, people might think that I'm just 643 00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,680 Speaker 1: saying that, or like it's just really because I can't 644 00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:54,319 Speaker 1: learn to like what I look like. But I'm like, no, Like, 645 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:58,040 Speaker 1: what I like most about my body is how freaking 646 00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:01,239 Speaker 1: powerful and strong it is because it is like it's 647 00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:07,360 Speaker 1: carried me through emotions, feelings like horrible breakups, really amazing things, 648 00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:11,800 Speaker 1: right Like, it's carried me through marathons. It's carried it's 649 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:14,399 Speaker 1: so much stuff. So that's what I think I like 650 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:16,759 Speaker 1: the most about it. I will I do want to 651 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:21,160 Speaker 1: add aesthetically, I want to add something because we're allowed 652 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:25,520 Speaker 1: to like that as well. So I work in fitness too, 653 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:30,719 Speaker 1: and I it might sound weird people, but I like 654 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:34,440 Speaker 1: not having and even struggle using these words because I 655 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:37,360 Speaker 1: feel like somebody might jump down my throat, But I 656 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:40,240 Speaker 1: like not having the typical body for a fitness instructor, 657 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:44,719 Speaker 1: because one, it's been really powerful for me to be like, 658 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:49,040 Speaker 1: I can be uh fitness instructor, I can be a 659 00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:53,120 Speaker 1: lead instructor at a fitness studio. I can be like 660 00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:56,080 Speaker 1: a face for a fitness studio, and I don't have 661 00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,880 Speaker 1: to look this way, like look, I proved something that 662 00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:02,319 Speaker 1: I used to believe. Um, I proved that wrong. But 663 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:06,040 Speaker 1: the other thing is I honestly like that because I 664 00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:10,319 Speaker 1: think it gives a little bit of UM. I think 665 00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:13,359 Speaker 1: the word might be freedom to other people who because 666 00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,280 Speaker 1: you know, I used to go I used to work 667 00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:18,640 Speaker 1: out our classes and I'd be like, I want to 668 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,919 Speaker 1: take that girl's class because I want to look like that. 669 00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,440 Speaker 1: I'm like, you can't look like that because you're a 670 00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,640 Speaker 1: different body. Like if you ate the same food as 671 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,000 Speaker 1: her and did the same workouts, your bodies would not 672 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,520 Speaker 1: look the same. And so I think that I offer 673 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:34,719 Speaker 1: a little bit of freedom to people to like, you 674 00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:39,160 Speaker 1: can come work out and look however you want. So yeah, 675 00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:42,200 Speaker 1: and when okay, like you're looking at me, funny, do 676 00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:46,040 Speaker 1: you want to answer that question? Oh gosh, you can 677 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:49,200 Speaker 1: use my same answer. It was really good, wasn't it. Yeah, 678 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:53,680 Speaker 1: your answer was actually really great. UM. I think I 679 00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:55,919 Speaker 1: can go two ways. I've had to do a lot 680 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:57,560 Speaker 1: a lot of work, as I'm sure we all have 681 00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:01,200 Speaker 1: had to do around loving my body or becoming at 682 00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:06,680 Speaker 1: least neutral or appreciating my body, um and seeing it 683 00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:09,200 Speaker 1: for like what it is. And I think a lot 684 00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:12,440 Speaker 1: of that has become from really this place of strength. 685 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:16,359 Speaker 1: So probably my favorite thing about my body, and if 686 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:19,640 Speaker 1: tears came more accessible to me, I would weep, is 687 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,719 Speaker 1: how resilient it is. Because there are a lot of 688 00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:26,760 Speaker 1: things I did for a long time that really really 689 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:32,239 Speaker 1: we're not good. Um. And I was just talking to 690 00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:34,560 Speaker 1: something about this other day and I was just like, 691 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:37,080 Speaker 1: it is so amazing to me that I don't have 692 00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:41,200 Speaker 1: like health complications, um, and that I'm healthy and that 693 00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:44,960 Speaker 1: my body has like rejuvenated and that I'm in the 694 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,560 Speaker 1: place that I am. And so I think that's my 695 00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:54,000 Speaker 1: favorite part is just that it's resilient. UM. And I 696 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,120 Speaker 1: think that also, like my body in a lot ways 697 00:38:56,200 --> 00:39:00,919 Speaker 1: mirrors my spirit, that's also really resilient. So I'm so 698 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:04,440 Speaker 1: happy that you said that, because this is more in 699 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:09,440 Speaker 1: depth to like eating a sort of recovery. UM. But 700 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:13,719 Speaker 1: there is a phase in recovery where your body kind 701 00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:16,840 Speaker 1: of goes a little all over the place with like 702 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:20,800 Speaker 1: learning how to refeed yourself and how the body responds 703 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:22,879 Speaker 1: to that. And I think a lot of people get 704 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:25,960 Speaker 1: really mad at their bodies of like, what are you doing? 705 00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:28,480 Speaker 1: You're gaining all this way, You're doing this to me 706 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:32,320 Speaker 1: or doing that, and the liker their body becomes the enemy. 707 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,720 Speaker 1: But I'm so glad you said that resilience piece, because 708 00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:38,520 Speaker 1: that really is like their body being like trying to 709 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:42,120 Speaker 1: figure this out for you, right, and eventually you will, 710 00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:46,399 Speaker 1: But like if that's the worst thing that, like it 711 00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,399 Speaker 1: takes a while for your body to figure out what 712 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:53,600 Speaker 1: metabolism is, right, Like, that's really cool, And like if 713 00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:57,480 Speaker 1: we can offer some gratitude for the fact that our 714 00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:00,440 Speaker 1: bodies didn't shut down after all the crowd we put 715 00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:04,319 Speaker 1: them through, that is that I'm really glad you said 716 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,759 Speaker 1: that a lot of people need to hear that. And 717 00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:10,000 Speaker 1: I went through the weight fluctuation thing um, and so 718 00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:13,279 Speaker 1: one of my favorite questions to ask myself is I 719 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,000 Speaker 1: went for so long it was I had to be 720 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,520 Speaker 1: a certain number on the scale, And now the thing 721 00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,400 Speaker 1: that I asked myself is like, what like when I 722 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,920 Speaker 1: look at myself, do I look like me? Now, you 723 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,640 Speaker 1: also have to have a certain level of health to 724 00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:28,480 Speaker 1: be able to be honest with yourself about that. But like, 725 00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,960 Speaker 1: do I do I feel like I look like me? 726 00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:34,839 Speaker 1: I would? I wonder if this would fit too, if 727 00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:38,120 Speaker 1: the question could be does this where I am allowed 728 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:41,279 Speaker 1: me to have freedom to be myself? Yeah? And for me, 729 00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:43,359 Speaker 1: I've actually had to come to a place of like 730 00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:49,000 Speaker 1: acceptance around that of I don't have exactly like there 731 00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,920 Speaker 1: things about my body I wish maybe we're different, But 732 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:56,000 Speaker 1: what I do have is like so much freedom to 733 00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:59,120 Speaker 1: actually enjoy my life as it is and enjoy my 734 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:02,480 Speaker 1: life around through and because of that, I'm willing to 735 00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:05,319 Speaker 1: like have some things that I wish were different than 736 00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:07,839 Speaker 1: I also don't need to change and so to live 737 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:09,799 Speaker 1: in the tension of that of like, I have this 738 00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:15,279 Speaker 1: really amazing life. I'm also like healthy by my doctor's standard, right, 739 00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,759 Speaker 1: So I think there also is times that we can 740 00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:20,360 Speaker 1: be a denial about like, oh no, but my life's great, 741 00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:22,759 Speaker 1: but actually, like you actually need to eat more or 742 00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,359 Speaker 1: you need to eat less or whatever. So I don't 743 00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:27,680 Speaker 1: want it to get confused with that. But yeah, the 744 00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:31,399 Speaker 1: resiliency piece is really something I come back to, and 745 00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:33,640 Speaker 1: you know, I have a lot of thoughts, but also 746 00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:36,200 Speaker 1: what you're saying of like, yeah, I'm like, I'm great, 747 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:41,759 Speaker 1: I'm functioning. If you are malnourished, like you're actually not functioning, 748 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:46,279 Speaker 1: Like you need nutrients for your brain, Like you need 749 00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:50,440 Speaker 1: carbohydrates specifically because everybody thinks that they're evil, but you 750 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:53,440 Speaker 1: need them. I kind of want to read a text 751 00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,239 Speaker 1: that I got from She wouldn't care if I read it, 752 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,920 Speaker 1: but I did get a text from a client that 753 00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,600 Speaker 1: said this start to see a dietitian. And she was like, 754 00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:05,160 Speaker 1: she said, did you know that there's a certain level 755 00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:08,080 Speaker 1: of carbon hydrates that my brain needs to function? Did 756 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:09,960 Speaker 1: you know that? And I was like yes. She was 757 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:14,279 Speaker 1: like who knew? And I was like most health professionals, 758 00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:19,560 Speaker 1: not Instagram health coaches, not fitness models, like most people 759 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:22,239 Speaker 1: know that, Like that is a truth and I and 760 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,480 Speaker 1: I say that because yeah, people are like I'm fine, 761 00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:29,880 Speaker 1: but I'm like, you could be functioning so differently, like 762 00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:33,560 Speaker 1: you don't know, you have capacity to be like exponentially 763 00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:36,640 Speaker 1: more on top of but you're like settling for this 764 00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:40,160 Speaker 1: baseline of fog that you don't even know you're in. Yeah, 765 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:42,560 Speaker 1: it reminds me. I think it was maybe last year 766 00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:45,160 Speaker 1: or something. Shortly after we moved into this office, I 767 00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:48,120 Speaker 1: started like having these experiences where I was getting sort 768 00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:51,120 Speaker 1: of dizzy and nauseous a lot, and I was like, Oh, 769 00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:53,440 Speaker 1: maybe it's the lighting in the office. So I went 770 00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:56,040 Speaker 1: and bought like so many different light bulbs and so 771 00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:58,879 Speaker 1: many different lights I remember, and I was like saying that, yeah, 772 00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,680 Speaker 1: I would get like sort of just was feeling weird. 773 00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,560 Speaker 1: But I was also feeling weird outside of the office sometimes, 774 00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:07,600 Speaker 1: and I was like, gosh, this lighting or something. And 775 00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:09,760 Speaker 1: I ended up going in for like my yearly physical 776 00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:12,680 Speaker 1: or whatever and got blood work done. That's just like 777 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,000 Speaker 1: I do every year, just to check in and make 778 00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:17,200 Speaker 1: sure I'm in a good place whatever. And my doctor 779 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:19,440 Speaker 1: sent me this message and she's like, your vitamin B 780 00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:21,920 Speaker 1: twelve is so low. I don't even know how you're 781 00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:24,920 Speaker 1: functioning and how you're not just so dizzy and nauseous 782 00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:28,320 Speaker 1: all the time. And I was like, oh my gosh, 783 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:32,040 Speaker 1: And I started taking a supplement um like that she 784 00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:36,000 Speaker 1: recommended and whatever. And a couple of months later, I 785 00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:37,960 Speaker 1: don't know, maybe it was weeks, spent months. I was like, 786 00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:42,600 Speaker 1: holy crap, how did I live like that? Yeah? And 787 00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:46,840 Speaker 1: so thank you. Yeah, It's like I knew to some degree, 788 00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:49,160 Speaker 1: I knew I felt like sort of crappy, but I 789 00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:51,520 Speaker 1: also like thought it was all these other things, like 790 00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:54,320 Speaker 1: it never dawned on me of like, oh, maybe something's 791 00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:58,479 Speaker 1: actually off inside of me. And really like I don't 792 00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:00,160 Speaker 1: know why I was low on B twelve or whatever. 793 00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,560 Speaker 1: I don't want to get into that pause that because 794 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:05,000 Speaker 1: what you just said, I thought it was all the 795 00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:07,960 Speaker 1: stuff outside of me, but really it was something internally 796 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,160 Speaker 1: that is period we can that is the book on 797 00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,799 Speaker 1: like what we just said everything. Yeah, and that is 798 00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,880 Speaker 1: a beautiful example. And I hear that I start taking 799 00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:22,640 Speaker 1: this vitamin B twelve like supplement, and all of a sudden, 800 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:26,040 Speaker 1: I'm feeling good again. I am feeling back to like 801 00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:27,839 Speaker 1: a baseline. And so I think a lot of us 802 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:30,719 Speaker 1: live like that. It's like you get normal, you get 803 00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:34,640 Speaker 1: adjusted to how crappy you feel until you know something different. 804 00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:36,799 Speaker 1: And the last thing I'll say, this is truly the 805 00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:40,400 Speaker 1: last thing I'll say, is I think that we need 806 00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:43,920 Speaker 1: to also come to because I know I was talking 807 00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:46,520 Speaker 1: about like what are you looking? What messages are you 808 00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:48,799 Speaker 1: looking at that, say what type of body is the 809 00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:51,759 Speaker 1: right body to have? I think, really what I wish 810 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,120 Speaker 1: that we could come to the conclusion is is that 811 00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,440 Speaker 1: there are a million type of right bodies. There are 812 00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:02,919 Speaker 1: a million types, and we shouldn't be looking to one 813 00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:08,040 Speaker 1: size because everybody, everybody has a different makeup, right, And 814 00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:12,040 Speaker 1: so somebodies are going to sit at this space, and 815 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,480 Speaker 1: somebodies are going to sit at this space. And just 816 00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:16,880 Speaker 1: like there's room for all types of personalities, right, and 817 00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,280 Speaker 1: we talked about there's a room for that as well, 818 00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:21,880 Speaker 1: And so I don't want to be sending the message 819 00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:24,760 Speaker 1: that like you should only be looking at plus size 820 00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:27,239 Speaker 1: models or you should only be like no, like there 821 00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:32,839 Speaker 1: is space for every type of body is worthy, right, 822 00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:36,480 Speaker 1: and so and it's really your first place, I think, 823 00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,439 Speaker 1: in your I don't know, maybe a second place, because 824 00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:40,439 Speaker 1: none of us really have that much choice of our name. 825 00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:44,160 Speaker 1: But also a lot of our bodies, like I didn't 826 00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:47,080 Speaker 1: determine how tall I was, or like a lot of it, 827 00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:50,239 Speaker 1: I didn't determine how big my foot is or like 828 00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:52,840 Speaker 1: in some so we do have some sort of say 829 00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:56,000 Speaker 1: over our shape. But then also like for the most part, 830 00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:59,880 Speaker 1: you really don't. And so you can either resist that 831 00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:04,200 Speaker 1: and spend all your days and energy in a constant 832 00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:07,920 Speaker 1: fight against like yourself, or you can come to this 833 00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:10,560 Speaker 1: place of acceptance around like, Okay, what does it look 834 00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:13,000 Speaker 1: like for me to be the best version and in 835 00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:16,800 Speaker 1: the best body of me? Yeah, and and not best 836 00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:20,640 Speaker 1: by like six pack abs, but like best whatever that 837 00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:26,200 Speaker 1: means for you. Because I wrote a post about this 838 00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:31,640 Speaker 1: this week, just about how often I hear people struggling 839 00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:37,359 Speaker 1: to go to a gym and like move whatever way 840 00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,560 Speaker 1: it is because they don't feel like they belong there 841 00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:43,920 Speaker 1: and there's nothing that there is. But that breaks my 842 00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:51,240 Speaker 1: heart because those spaces, like fitness gyms, all those places 843 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:54,600 Speaker 1: are they're created to help us. They should be created 844 00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:57,480 Speaker 1: to help us take care of ourselves. And everybody deserves 845 00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:00,320 Speaker 1: to take care of themselves. So there's not a certain 846 00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:03,880 Speaker 1: size person that deserves to go take care of themselves, 847 00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:07,080 Speaker 1: like everybody gets to do that. And you don't have 848 00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:10,080 Speaker 1: to be super in shape and be able to run 849 00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:12,600 Speaker 1: a marathon to deserve to go run on a treadmill, 850 00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:16,160 Speaker 1: And you don't like have to have a six pack 851 00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:18,359 Speaker 1: and be able to bench press x amount of weight 852 00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:21,960 Speaker 1: to deserve to go to like some like circuit class, 853 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:26,160 Speaker 1: Like everybody gets to go to those things. Um, there's 854 00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:29,920 Speaker 1: no pre rex so and gets to do it the 855 00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,880 Speaker 1: way they want. Like sometimes if people saw me in yoga, 856 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:36,560 Speaker 1: they would be like what in the hell. But I'm like, 857 00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:38,960 Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just gonna do what feels good 858 00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,160 Speaker 1: for my body. And I always do sort of wonder 859 00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,480 Speaker 1: sometimes like is this yoga teacher just like is that 860 00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:46,239 Speaker 1: girl just gonna do whatever she wants today? Um? And 861 00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,759 Speaker 1: sometimes I do the class, but sometimes I'm just like, no, 862 00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:50,799 Speaker 1: I'm going to kind of do my own thing here. 863 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:53,879 Speaker 1: And so even within that, it's like, not only are 864 00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:55,919 Speaker 1: you worthy of being at the gym, but you're also 865 00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,400 Speaker 1: worthy of doing it however you need to do it 866 00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,160 Speaker 1: taking care of yourself. Like this morning, I went and 867 00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:04,640 Speaker 1: took a cycling class and I was on the front row. 868 00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,280 Speaker 1: So I a lot of times when I I feel 869 00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:11,839 Speaker 1: like just because anyway, I feel like I should be 870 00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:14,040 Speaker 1: respectful of the instructor if I'm like on the front 871 00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:18,520 Speaker 1: row and do what they asked me to do. Um, 872 00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:22,040 Speaker 1: but my legs like I had to sit down. Like 873 00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,000 Speaker 1: we were climbing a hill and it was the biggest 874 00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:27,759 Speaker 1: hill of the class and um my legs were just 875 00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:32,160 Speaker 1: saying saying Catherine, like sit down, and also it feels 876 00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:35,480 Speaker 1: better for me, Um, I enjoy it more climbing a 877 00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:38,000 Speaker 1: hill in the saddle. So I sat down and climbed 878 00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,000 Speaker 1: the whole thing. And afterwards, I was like, it was 879 00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,160 Speaker 1: my friend Annie was teaching. I was like, I just 880 00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:44,280 Speaker 1: want you to know, like you weren't like I needed 881 00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,840 Speaker 1: to do that, and like we all deserve to listen, 882 00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,400 Speaker 1: Like you don't have to do everything if it doesn't 883 00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:52,920 Speaker 1: feel good, don't hurt yourself to take care of the 884 00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:57,800 Speaker 1: instructor's feelings. We'll be okay. And he was like it's fine, 885 00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:00,120 Speaker 1: Like I didn't take that personally, and if she it 886 00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:07,120 Speaker 1: not my problem, love you Annie anyway. Okay, So this 887 00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:11,160 Speaker 1: is a little luck that I've actually all right. So 888 00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:13,279 Speaker 1: now that we talked about that, I also want to 889 00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:15,239 Speaker 1: move into the space of like, let's talk about like 890 00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:17,759 Speaker 1: what eating disorders really are. I want to talk about 891 00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,760 Speaker 1: the different types because there's probably more than you guys 892 00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:24,279 Speaker 1: think there are. UM, just to get that kind of 893 00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:26,319 Speaker 1: information on what I'm not going to do is go 894 00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:30,040 Speaker 1: through like diagnostic criteria through all of them, because you 895 00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:32,200 Speaker 1: guys don't need to know that. I think you just 896 00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:34,759 Speaker 1: need to know maybe what it looks like and that 897 00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:40,200 Speaker 1: these are like options. I guess, Megan, I want to 898 00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:45,879 Speaker 1: ask you what you would assume most people think when 899 00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:49,320 Speaker 1: they think of eating disorders. I know you know something different, 900 00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:54,640 Speaker 1: but what do you assume that most people think. I 901 00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:58,160 Speaker 1: think a lot of times people think like somebody who 902 00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:01,560 Speaker 1: is almost like we okay, well, I think in some 903 00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:03,480 Speaker 1: ways it depends on what sort of eating sort of 904 00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:09,000 Speaker 1: we're talking about, but like somebody who is messed up 905 00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,719 Speaker 1: or weak or has like some weird stuff. I'm just 906 00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:15,879 Speaker 1: repeating like things I hear people say weird stuff around food. Yeah, 907 00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:22,719 Speaker 1: so what's interesting and that's not what just that? No, No, 908 00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:25,040 Speaker 1: that's good because that's actually a whole another piece that 909 00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:27,759 Speaker 1: like that people have this view of people with eating disorders. 910 00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,440 Speaker 1: But I I guess what I was asking was like, 911 00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:34,399 Speaker 1: you're like, yeah, I know what it is when you 912 00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:37,080 Speaker 1: think of when you think people think of eating disorders. 913 00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:42,360 Speaker 1: What I guess behaviorally or what it looks like? Okay, 914 00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:45,799 Speaker 1: what sort of about those people? Sort of? Like, um, 915 00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:48,600 Speaker 1: I thought before I went to treatment that alcoholics were 916 00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:51,880 Speaker 1: just people who lived under bridges. Yes. Yeah, so unless 917 00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:54,280 Speaker 1: you were homeless and living under a bridge, in my world, 918 00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:57,759 Speaker 1: you were not an alcoholic. Okay, so round two of 919 00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:02,279 Speaker 1: really trying progress. It's not perfection here. Um. I would 920 00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:05,440 Speaker 1: say most people think that if you haven't eating disorder, 921 00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:10,720 Speaker 1: that you are like a skeleton so really really really skinny, 922 00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:14,680 Speaker 1: um and you can't eat anything at all. So you 923 00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:17,600 Speaker 1: go like weeks without putting any sort of food in 924 00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:24,480 Speaker 1: your body um or some version of like still probably 925 00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:27,640 Speaker 1: really really skinny, but also like if you eat one thing, 926 00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:30,839 Speaker 1: you throw it up, like so you I guess would 927 00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:33,839 Speaker 1: maybe throwing up like twenty times a day anything you 928 00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:41,319 Speaker 1: ate UM, and basically you're like so sick that you're 929 00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:43,760 Speaker 1: like crawling. You can't even walk your just like crawling 930 00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:47,040 Speaker 1: like all of them have, like you're in a hospital 931 00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:51,919 Speaker 1: with a feeding too. Um. And unless you're that, you're 932 00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:56,640 Speaker 1: probably don't have an eating disorder. Okay, that is because 933 00:51:57,280 --> 00:52:01,319 Speaker 1: that is just not true, which is interesting because I 934 00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:05,839 Speaker 1: remember like being younger, being like I'm going to become interrexic, 935 00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:08,120 Speaker 1: and my goal was like I'm not going to eat 936 00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:11,319 Speaker 1: for a week and see what happens. That is, I 937 00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:14,759 Speaker 1: don't really know anybody who does that like to be. 938 00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:17,200 Speaker 1: I've worked with eating distortis for the past seven years. 939 00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:23,319 Speaker 1: I'm not sure that I've had a client that just 940 00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:26,560 Speaker 1: didn't eat for a week straight. I think that they 941 00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:29,440 Speaker 1: would not They would have passed out and would not 942 00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:32,319 Speaker 1: be my client. That's not how that works. I don't 943 00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:34,200 Speaker 1: know how to say that. Like it's kind of like 944 00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:37,120 Speaker 1: the alcohol version of like thinking that the person drinks 945 00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:39,680 Speaker 1: from like the time they wake up and doesn't ever 946 00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:44,040 Speaker 1: stop drinking, probably like straw the whole day. Yes, it's 947 00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:49,640 Speaker 1: like not how that works at all. So I'm going 948 00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:52,360 Speaker 1: to go through and I want Megan, I want you 949 00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:57,439 Speaker 1: to do is obviously chiming your expertise, but also ask 950 00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:01,239 Speaker 1: questions that I might not be explaining because what is 951 00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,640 Speaker 1: really interesting and what I've come to know for myself 952 00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:06,680 Speaker 1: is because I know this information so well and it's 953 00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:10,480 Speaker 1: so normal to me, I forget that. It's like like 954 00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:13,400 Speaker 1: even when I'm working with clients, I like forget that, like, oh, 955 00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:16,359 Speaker 1: this information that is very basic to me. It's like 956 00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:20,600 Speaker 1: really kind of like astounding to other people. UM So 957 00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:23,640 Speaker 1: world will start with anorexia because that's the one that 958 00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:25,560 Speaker 1: most people think of. An eating distort they think of 959 00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:27,680 Speaker 1: I think they think of two. They think of anorexia 960 00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:29,920 Speaker 1: and in bolimia, and they think that those are like 961 00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:33,960 Speaker 1: sister the sisters, and they're like opposites. And so here's 962 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:38,399 Speaker 1: the thing. Anorexia doesn't. It doesn't mean that you are 963 00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:42,280 Speaker 1: severely underweight, Like you don't have to be severely underweight 964 00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:47,120 Speaker 1: to be anorexic UM. But what includes is a restriction 965 00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:51,080 Speaker 1: of energy and take which is a fancy word for food, 966 00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:55,240 Speaker 1: So a restriction of food UM and generally low weight. 967 00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:57,960 Speaker 1: But it also could just be like inability to maintain 968 00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:03,320 Speaker 1: a healthy weight UM and inability to um gain appropriate 969 00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:07,279 Speaker 1: weight if they're like adolescents or like. There could be 970 00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:10,160 Speaker 1: just weight loss involved in it. It doesn't like you 971 00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:12,839 Speaker 1: could be interorexic and not be underweight, is what I'm 972 00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:17,440 Speaker 1: trying to say. UM. And there are subtypes of it, 973 00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:25,120 Speaker 1: so there's like mild, severe, whatever. Also you could UM 974 00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:29,319 Speaker 1: use purging behaviors in that as well, like which can 975 00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:31,640 Speaker 1: you talk about what that looks like? So when I 976 00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:35,320 Speaker 1: say purging, most people are like throwing up, But there's 977 00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:38,319 Speaker 1: all types of purging which people don't realize, right, So 978 00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:43,799 Speaker 1: exercise is a form of purging. Um, laxatives, diuretics like 979 00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:47,160 Speaker 1: those are all forms of purging. And I think people 980 00:54:47,239 --> 00:54:52,279 Speaker 1: only think that like throwing up makes me whatever. But yeah, um, 981 00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:54,319 Speaker 1: how do you know if your exercise is a form 982 00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:58,600 Speaker 1: of purging or just normal exercise? Well, that's that's complex. 983 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,960 Speaker 1: But I think that if you you are um counting 984 00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,879 Speaker 1: calories to subtract from what you ate, that's a way 985 00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:07,560 Speaker 1: of to purge what you ate. So I know for me, 986 00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:10,799 Speaker 1: is I used to keep like a list of all 987 00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:13,880 Speaker 1: my cal This is why do not download my fitness 988 00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:17,839 Speaker 1: Pal here that here First, your body is smarter than 989 00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:20,400 Speaker 1: my Fitness Pal. You don't need it. We don't have ads. 990 00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:23,080 Speaker 1: We have to support our podcast. We have anti apps 991 00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:30,120 Speaker 1: or anti advertising my fitness power. Um. But yeah, like 992 00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:32,480 Speaker 1: if you're calculating, I know that, Like there's a lot 993 00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:35,440 Speaker 1: of apps that can calculate how many calories you ate 994 00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:37,480 Speaker 1: and then you can put in your exercise and see 995 00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:39,520 Speaker 1: how that subtract, and so that would equal that I 996 00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:41,640 Speaker 1: should lose this amount of Like that is a form 997 00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:45,160 Speaker 1: of getting rid of your food rather than like I'm 998 00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:47,640 Speaker 1: exercising today. Are I'm moving my body today because I 999 00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:49,920 Speaker 1: need to take care of it or because it feels 1000 00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:53,160 Speaker 1: right or it feels good. It's to get rid of calories, 1001 00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:58,040 Speaker 1: like just pure calorie burn um. So that's interacts and 1002 00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:03,160 Speaker 1: there is bolima, So believe me, it would be um binges, 1003 00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:06,720 Speaker 1: which binge eating and over eating are two different things, 1004 00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:08,799 Speaker 1: and I think people get really confused with that. Like 1005 00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,719 Speaker 1: sometimes we like hang out with our friends and we 1006 00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:14,799 Speaker 1: over eight and I had um a little bit. I 1007 00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:17,360 Speaker 1: was full and I ate pass fullness, and like some 1008 00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:19,759 Speaker 1: people can be like, yeah, binge eight, and I'm like, well, 1009 00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:22,360 Speaker 1: what did you have, and like that's not a bench 1010 00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:26,040 Speaker 1: you just like eight pass fullness. So believe me, I 1011 00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:29,680 Speaker 1: would be like binge eating followed by attempts right after 1012 00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:32,520 Speaker 1: that to get rid of the food. So interrexia, you're 1013 00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:37,080 Speaker 1: not binging and then purging. You would be restricting and 1014 00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:39,560 Speaker 1: purging anything. Like if you had the purging component, you'd 1015 00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:42,200 Speaker 1: be getting rid of anything. Believe me, you are binging 1016 00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:47,239 Speaker 1: and then perching like the binge um and that technically 1017 00:56:47,280 --> 00:56:51,560 Speaker 1: you would be doing that. Like to be diagnosable for 1018 00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:55,040 Speaker 1: the most part, again, don't take everything verbatim, but do 1019 00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:58,480 Speaker 1: not use this as a way to diagnose yourself behavior 1020 00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:01,919 Speaker 1: or your family. Yeah, uh, send them to somebody, but 1021 00:57:02,239 --> 00:57:04,880 Speaker 1: you would be doing that like more than twice twice 1022 00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,760 Speaker 1: or more a week, and that would have to last 1023 00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:10,160 Speaker 1: for a span of longer than like three months. It's 1024 00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:12,239 Speaker 1: not like you did at one time and like now 1025 00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:14,040 Speaker 1: you have Billina for the rest of your life. Like 1026 00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:18,520 Speaker 1: that's not what that looks like. Um, So that's the 1027 00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:22,200 Speaker 1: main two. Now there's this other one. Now, Also keep 1028 00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:25,680 Speaker 1: in mind just like all foods fit and there's no 1029 00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:28,040 Speaker 1: good or bad food and all of that, there's no 1030 00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:30,920 Speaker 1: black and white. There is no like eating disorder that's 1031 00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:33,560 Speaker 1: better than the other. Like they're all the same. And 1032 00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:35,720 Speaker 1: I think that with this next one that I'm going 1033 00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:38,000 Speaker 1: to talk about, is there's so much shame around it, 1034 00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:42,680 Speaker 1: but they're all they're all even, And I try to 1035 00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:48,160 Speaker 1: really normalize that of like your maladaptive coping mechanisms. None 1036 00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:50,360 Speaker 1: of your yours are better than the others. They might 1037 00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:54,080 Speaker 1: be socially accepted differently, but that's because of the way 1038 00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:56,240 Speaker 1: society is built. That's not because they really are better, 1039 00:57:56,800 --> 00:58:00,520 Speaker 1: and some have more consequences than others. So I think, like, okay, 1040 00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:03,040 Speaker 1: even if we bring it back to like drugs and alcohol, 1041 00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:06,280 Speaker 1: like heroin definitely has a higher chance of killing you 1042 00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:10,280 Speaker 1: than alcohol in some ways not it depends on how 1043 00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:12,720 Speaker 1: much alcohol you're drinking, and you know, but in general, 1044 00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:14,520 Speaker 1: most of the time we can agree that that's true. 1045 00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:17,640 Speaker 1: It will kill you faster. But that doesn't mean that 1046 00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:22,280 Speaker 1: drinking to the point of having a substance juice disorder 1047 00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:26,200 Speaker 1: is better for you than using heroin. Yeah, or like, 1048 00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:28,920 Speaker 1: I also want to say this, if you know, you 1049 00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:30,640 Speaker 1: can be like you said that one time, you can 1050 00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:33,360 Speaker 1: be an alcoholic and drink once a year, but like 1051 00:58:33,680 --> 00:58:36,400 Speaker 1: you could drink a couple of times a month, but 1052 00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:39,280 Speaker 1: black out and that isn't but you you don't miss 1053 00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:41,400 Speaker 1: work and you don't do this. That doesn't make your 1054 00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:45,160 Speaker 1: alcoholism better than somebody who like is drinking every day 1055 00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:49,320 Speaker 1: and maybe missing So let's just take that out. We're 1056 00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:52,040 Speaker 1: not comparing any of these. They are their own thing. 1057 00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:55,800 Speaker 1: They're all their own UM. So the next one is 1058 00:58:56,120 --> 00:58:59,320 Speaker 1: binge eating disorder, which is actually the most common in 1059 00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:03,080 Speaker 1: the United States. I don't know that people would know 1060 00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:06,000 Speaker 1: that other than the fact because this is the one 1061 00:59:06,040 --> 00:59:08,560 Speaker 1: people are going to talk about the least. Like what 1062 00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:13,400 Speaker 1: I've seen, more people are going to talk about UM 1063 00:59:13,440 --> 00:59:16,920 Speaker 1: for our feel more freedom to talk about interacts yet 1064 00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:23,400 Speaker 1: than bulimia. Then it's beneating because benei disorder, you're not purging. Um. 1065 00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:28,520 Speaker 1: It's also most common in males, so the people diagnosed 1066 00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:33,240 Speaker 1: are Yeah, and this is so interesting beinging disordering and 1067 00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:36,680 Speaker 1: I say, it's more common than breast cancer. Dang, but 1068 00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:39,960 Speaker 1: nobody talks about it. So people can do all this 1069 00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:42,640 Speaker 1: stuff for and I think it's great for like breast 1070 00:59:42,680 --> 00:59:45,240 Speaker 1: cancer research and all this stuff and awareness, but like, 1071 00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:48,880 Speaker 1: why aren't people talking about that with beinge eating disorder? 1072 00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:51,840 Speaker 1: This the boath diseases one of just because one is 1073 00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:55,040 Speaker 1: mental health and one is physical. I don't think that 1074 00:59:55,040 --> 01:00:00,280 Speaker 1: that's uh excusable reason to not be talking about it. Yeah, 1075 01:00:00,920 --> 01:00:04,080 Speaker 1: not to mention. I'm sure there's the emotional component to that, 1076 01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:06,960 Speaker 1: but then there's also like the way that food is 1077 01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:10,520 Speaker 1: being modified where you really can't stop eating it. Yeah, 1078 01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:14,920 Speaker 1: definitely has to do with a lot of probably the 1079 01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:16,840 Speaker 1: chemicals involved, and I can't speak to that. Some not 1080 01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:20,360 Speaker 1: a dietention the chemicals involved in food composition. But also, 1081 01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:24,000 Speaker 1: like I would say, it's not really about the food 1082 01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:27,320 Speaker 1: because when you're binging, it's a dissociative thing, like you 1083 01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:30,600 Speaker 1: are not most of the time when you are in 1084 01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:34,640 Speaker 1: a binge state, you're not there. What would that look like? 1085 01:00:35,480 --> 01:00:37,080 Speaker 1: What doesn't mean that they're like eyes a roll in 1086 01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:38,440 Speaker 1: the back of their head and they're like in a 1087 01:00:38,720 --> 01:00:42,320 Speaker 1: like candy land. But yeah, most of the time when 1088 01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:45,000 Speaker 1: people are going through a banage, they're dissociating from some 1089 01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:49,080 Speaker 1: feeling or some experience or something. So kind of like 1090 01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:51,040 Speaker 1: we talked about, like it's a way to escape your feeling. 1091 01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:54,120 Speaker 1: They're not totally in that. So most of the time, 1092 01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:58,000 Speaker 1: somebody with binge eating disorder isn't sitting there being like 1093 01:00:58,240 --> 01:01:00,400 Speaker 1: this sugar taste so good, or this pizza is so good, 1094 01:01:00,480 --> 01:01:03,040 Speaker 1: or this whatever it is they're binging on. It's more 1095 01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:05,120 Speaker 1: of a way to dissociate for something. There's a lot 1096 01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:07,200 Speaker 1: of times like there could be rituals involved in it, 1097 01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:11,080 Speaker 1: and sometimes it can happen anytime anywhere, but it's not 1098 01:01:11,120 --> 01:01:14,880 Speaker 1: really necessarily about the food. It's not about the food. 1099 01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:18,160 Speaker 1: I would say that for most eating disorders, the root 1100 01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:21,880 Speaker 1: issue isn't the food. So which is true for like 1101 01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:24,640 Speaker 1: really any addiction going on or any we talked about 1102 01:01:24,640 --> 01:01:28,880 Speaker 1: this time behaviors, it's never about about the alcohol. Whatever 1103 01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:32,240 Speaker 1: the behavior is it's what is happening underneath. And so 1104 01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:34,800 Speaker 1: it sounds like binge eating disorder of people are eating 1105 01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:38,560 Speaker 1: binging on food, But what you're saying is like it's 1106 01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:42,000 Speaker 1: really about the emotion they're trying to get away from. 1107 01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:46,360 Speaker 1: And you know what is really a point of contention 1108 01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:51,640 Speaker 1: with me and weight loss programs is thread of ten individuals. 1109 01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:56,120 Speaker 1: So that's right, it's of people who are looking for 1110 01:01:56,160 --> 01:01:59,800 Speaker 1: weight loss treatments have signs of ben eating disorder, which 1111 01:01:59,840 --> 01:02:03,720 Speaker 1: is really painful for me because a lot of these 1112 01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:07,680 Speaker 1: weight loss programs aren't really looking out for that, and 1113 01:02:07,920 --> 01:02:10,960 Speaker 1: or if they are, they're not looking at how to 1114 01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:14,720 Speaker 1: really treat the actual mental health disorder. They're looking at 1115 01:02:14,720 --> 01:02:18,120 Speaker 1: how do I treat the weight and that's not actually 1116 01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:21,680 Speaker 1: the problem um And so usually they're giving them tools 1117 01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:25,360 Speaker 1: to control food in a different way. I guess are 1118 01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:28,000 Speaker 1: used fit in a different way, and that can one 1119 01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:30,440 Speaker 1: they can just backfire and they can never catch onto that, 1120 01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:34,960 Speaker 1: or it can turn to Okay, I have this disorder. 1121 01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:37,400 Speaker 1: Now I have this disorder, and now I'm super restrictive. 1122 01:02:38,280 --> 01:02:40,920 Speaker 1: And that reminds me even of like I don't know 1123 01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:44,240 Speaker 1: the statistics exactly, but people who have GASH up bypass 1124 01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:48,320 Speaker 1: surgery and how often then they have some sort of 1125 01:02:48,400 --> 01:02:52,280 Speaker 1: it morphs into a different addiction like substance or something else. 1126 01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:54,880 Speaker 1: That's actually a huge problem and the statistic on that 1127 01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:58,919 Speaker 1: is enormous because what has done is like a transference 1128 01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:02,600 Speaker 1: of addiction. And if you don't actually work on the 1129 01:03:02,720 --> 01:03:05,280 Speaker 1: stuff with the eating disorders, that's why you can't just 1130 01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:07,320 Speaker 1: be like I'm gonna stop doing this, like you have 1131 01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:09,240 Speaker 1: to work on the stuff, because I know for me 1132 01:03:09,280 --> 01:03:12,439 Speaker 1: and my story of I started really restrictive and then 1133 01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:17,120 Speaker 1: I added in this like purging through exercise component and 1134 01:03:17,200 --> 01:03:20,960 Speaker 1: then like I went through a phase of because I 1135 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:23,120 Speaker 1: went through a phase of like just restricting, I can 1136 01:03:23,160 --> 01:03:24,360 Speaker 1: only do that for so long. And then I was 1137 01:03:24,360 --> 01:03:25,840 Speaker 1: like I'm gonna fix this and I'm gonna start eating 1138 01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:27,960 Speaker 1: or I'm gonna do whatever. And then I went through 1139 01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:31,200 Speaker 1: a phase of like binge eating, and then I my exercise. 1140 01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:33,760 Speaker 1: That's probably when my exercise took off even more because 1141 01:03:33,760 --> 01:03:36,680 Speaker 1: then I was trying to purge more through that um 1142 01:03:36,800 --> 01:03:39,240 Speaker 1: And I wasn't planning on saying this, but I will 1143 01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:41,440 Speaker 1: like when I was trying to take care of myself 1144 01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:44,400 Speaker 1: by myself, once I kind of realized I had a problem. 1145 01:03:44,440 --> 01:03:48,280 Speaker 1: I tried because then I when I started binging, I 1146 01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:50,960 Speaker 1: tried with all my power to throw up. By the 1147 01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:54,800 Speaker 1: grace of God, I have no gag reflects, so which 1148 01:03:54,920 --> 01:03:57,120 Speaker 1: I truly am so grateful for because if I would 1149 01:03:57,160 --> 01:04:00,080 Speaker 1: have been able to fix that issue with that, I 1150 01:04:00,120 --> 01:04:02,240 Speaker 1: think it would have I would have stayed in that longer. 1151 01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:06,480 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have got the help that I needed. But yeah, 1152 01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:09,280 Speaker 1: like these things will it's almost like a whack a mole. 1153 01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:11,520 Speaker 1: You're going to cycle through them if you don't actually 1154 01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:13,840 Speaker 1: fix the issue. So if I just go I have 1155 01:04:13,960 --> 01:04:17,320 Speaker 1: been cheating disorder, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go lose weight. 1156 01:04:17,760 --> 01:04:21,120 Speaker 1: That's not going to solve anything. And I think that's 1157 01:04:21,160 --> 01:04:23,360 Speaker 1: why a lot of times I get like really riled 1158 01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:26,360 Speaker 1: up against these weight loss programs are people that are 1159 01:04:26,360 --> 01:04:29,120 Speaker 1: going on diet and it's because like I know what's 1160 01:04:29,120 --> 01:04:31,640 Speaker 1: going to happen, and I'm like, can I save you 1161 01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:37,600 Speaker 1: from this happening? I can't. A lot of times it's 1162 01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:41,040 Speaker 1: like putting a band aid on like a cut then 1163 01:04:41,160 --> 01:04:45,240 Speaker 1: and stitches. Yes, It's like I guess it'll hold hold 1164 01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:48,400 Speaker 1: it on there together a little bit until it totally 1165 01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:53,480 Speaker 1: doesn't you have an even worse infection. Yes, yeah, I 1166 01:04:53,560 --> 01:05:01,520 Speaker 1: get like, Oh, though heated, isn't the word passionate? Yeah? Um, 1167 01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:07,360 Speaker 1: so should be. Um. So I also want to talk 1168 01:05:07,400 --> 01:05:13,120 Speaker 1: about some um of these less known eating disorders. And 1169 01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:15,280 Speaker 1: here's the other one. So there used to be this 1170 01:05:15,320 --> 01:05:19,200 Speaker 1: thing called um EDNAS, which I used to love saying that. 1171 01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:22,600 Speaker 1: I've never actually said that. Yeah, so that would be 1172 01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:25,440 Speaker 1: an eating disorder not otherwise specified. So there are plenty 1173 01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:28,320 Speaker 1: of people, and this is so important. Not everybody's going 1174 01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:32,000 Speaker 1: to fit into those three main categories, right, because you're 1175 01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:34,480 Speaker 1: not going to meet all the criteria. I don't know 1176 01:05:34,560 --> 01:05:37,400 Speaker 1: that I would have met all the criteria at certain times. 1177 01:05:37,840 --> 01:05:41,080 Speaker 1: And so there's also this category that's an eating It 1178 01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:44,320 Speaker 1: used to be called a disorders not otherwise specified. Now 1179 01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:48,520 Speaker 1: it's called other specified feeding or eating disorder. So now 1180 01:05:48,560 --> 01:05:53,280 Speaker 1: it's called os FED. All that means is like to 1181 01:05:53,320 --> 01:05:56,000 Speaker 1: be classified as having an X here would be classified 1182 01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:58,840 Speaker 1: as having bulimia. You have to meet so a certain 1183 01:05:58,920 --> 01:06:01,440 Speaker 1: number of certain triterios. So let's say I don't know 1184 01:06:01,480 --> 01:06:03,240 Speaker 1: what it is exactly, but let's say it's like you 1185 01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:05,560 Speaker 1: need to meet three out of these and this time 1186 01:06:05,560 --> 01:06:09,160 Speaker 1: frame six criteria and this time frame without having these, 1187 01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:12,080 Speaker 1: without this, blah blah blah blah blah. So all the 1188 01:06:12,160 --> 01:06:15,880 Speaker 1: non not otherwise specified means like, hey, this person definitely 1189 01:06:15,880 --> 01:06:18,240 Speaker 1: has some stuff going on, they just don't they don't 1190 01:06:18,320 --> 01:06:21,800 Speaker 1: fit perfectly into this one, this one, and this one, 1191 01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:25,560 Speaker 1: so we throw on like, oh, their their own sort 1192 01:06:25,600 --> 01:06:29,360 Speaker 1: of deal, which really everyone is. And all of these 1193 01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:33,560 Speaker 1: diagnoses really are just ways for health care providers to 1194 01:06:33,640 --> 01:06:36,760 Speaker 1: help communicate what's going on with somebody. This is not 1195 01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:40,880 Speaker 1: like anything other than that that's really helpful. And the 1196 01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:43,960 Speaker 1: a question to ask is like, is your way of 1197 01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:46,680 Speaker 1: feeding and eating yourself and taking care of yourself getting 1198 01:06:46,720 --> 01:06:50,400 Speaker 1: in the way of your actual physical health and your life. 1199 01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:54,800 Speaker 1: Is this causing implications on you living your life to 1200 01:06:54,840 --> 01:06:58,480 Speaker 1: the level you were created to live. The reason I 1201 01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:01,400 Speaker 1: really wanted to include that is because I think some 1202 01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:04,320 Speaker 1: of us can use as an excuse to not do 1203 01:07:04,360 --> 01:07:07,400 Speaker 1: anything or not get help or I don't have a problem, 1204 01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:11,680 Speaker 1: and you might and that's okay. Yeah, Like if food 1205 01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:15,840 Speaker 1: and thoughts of body image and food and the way 1206 01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:18,960 Speaker 1: that you handle all that is taking up a lot 1207 01:07:18,960 --> 01:07:21,960 Speaker 1: of space or inside of you, I don't care what 1208 01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:27,760 Speaker 1: your diagnosis is you're worthy of getting helpful. Yeah, amen again, 1209 01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:30,800 Speaker 1: thank you. So, Okay, there's a couple other ones that 1210 01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:34,680 Speaker 1: I want to just mention really quickly, UM, just kind 1211 01:07:34,680 --> 01:07:39,480 Speaker 1: of to point out that it's not always about like body, um. 1212 01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:42,040 Speaker 1: And so we'll just go through these kind of really quickly. UM. 1213 01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:45,480 Speaker 1: There's one called or FID. You know, I love these 1214 01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:56,480 Speaker 1: not a metaphor. So that stands for avoidant restrictive food 1215 01:07:56,640 --> 01:07:59,439 Speaker 1: intake disorder. So that is what used to be called 1216 01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:02,480 Speaker 1: selective eating disorder. And UM, we're not gonna spend a 1217 01:08:02,520 --> 01:08:04,640 Speaker 1: lot of time on that, but that's when like there's 1218 01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:06,960 Speaker 1: only certain foods that you'll eat and all that, and 1219 01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:09,680 Speaker 1: that can really get in the way and that probably 1220 01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:12,120 Speaker 1: has a lot of times a lot to do with anxiety. 1221 01:08:12,200 --> 01:08:13,960 Speaker 1: So we know, we talked talked about co occurring. There's 1222 01:08:13,960 --> 01:08:17,599 Speaker 1: a lot of anxiety that is UM included in that UM. 1223 01:08:17,640 --> 01:08:20,920 Speaker 1: And then there's pica that's just called pica, that's not 1224 01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:23,800 Speaker 1: an acronym UM, and that's eating things that aren't food. 1225 01:08:23,880 --> 01:08:26,160 Speaker 1: So if you've heard about like people eating like they 1226 01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:32,719 Speaker 1: used to do, they shall yes, cotton balls like dirt bolts, hair. 1227 01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:36,160 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I want this to stop. But like 1228 01:08:36,240 --> 01:08:38,599 Speaker 1: that's also like there's something going on there and it's 1229 01:08:38,640 --> 01:08:41,519 Speaker 1: affecting the way they're Like sometimes those people will only 1230 01:08:41,560 --> 01:08:43,439 Speaker 1: be able to eat those foods, like real food won't 1231 01:08:43,479 --> 01:08:47,040 Speaker 1: be appetising to them. And so again yeah, not about 1232 01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:50,160 Speaker 1: the body image there, um some most of the time. 1233 01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:55,600 Speaker 1: And then the final um one that I want to 1234 01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:58,200 Speaker 1: talk about, which this is not in the DSM, which 1235 01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:01,880 Speaker 1: is the Diagnostics to Cool Manual for Mental Health Disorders, 1236 01:09:01,960 --> 01:09:04,439 Speaker 1: which basically means that if you saw us, so you 1237 01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:06,719 Speaker 1: saw somebody else, you went to treatment center, they couldn't 1238 01:09:06,760 --> 01:09:10,320 Speaker 1: formally diagnose you with this for insurance purposes, is what 1239 01:09:10,360 --> 01:09:18,800 Speaker 1: that means. Yes, yeah, So, um, there's this thing called orthorexia. 1240 01:09:19,320 --> 01:09:23,520 Speaker 1: Now let me ask you this. You're you're familiar, right, Okay, 1241 01:09:23,640 --> 01:09:26,240 Speaker 1: when did you become familiar with this? Is it? Do 1242 01:09:26,280 --> 01:09:28,640 Speaker 1: you think it's because you work in the field, you 1243 01:09:28,680 --> 01:09:33,040 Speaker 1: struggled with eating disorders yourself, or because it's out in 1244 01:09:33,040 --> 01:09:36,360 Speaker 1: the open these days. Definitely, because I'm in the field 1245 01:09:36,439 --> 01:09:39,559 Speaker 1: and work with people with eating disorders and really familiar 1246 01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:44,200 Speaker 1: with it. Yeah. So I've never heard anybody outside of 1247 01:09:44,200 --> 01:09:49,200 Speaker 1: a clinical setting talk so this term, which is interesting 1248 01:09:49,240 --> 01:09:52,720 Speaker 1: because this was like coined and started kind of being 1249 01:09:52,720 --> 01:09:57,240 Speaker 1: looked at twenty three years ago by this guy named 1250 01:09:57,240 --> 01:10:02,600 Speaker 1: Stephen Brotman and um it. The word orthorexia comes from 1251 01:10:02,920 --> 01:10:05,479 Speaker 1: or those, which is the Greek word for right. So 1252 01:10:06,840 --> 01:10:12,600 Speaker 1: the orthorexia is not so much people who are concerned 1253 01:10:12,760 --> 01:10:17,320 Speaker 1: about weight, but it's more about the quality of food 1254 01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:21,320 Speaker 1: and what you're eating. So eating right not necessarily having 1255 01:10:21,320 --> 01:10:26,439 Speaker 1: the right body, like an obsession with eating healthy foods. Yes, 1256 01:10:26,600 --> 01:10:29,080 Speaker 1: I mean that's doing healthy things, that's the easiest way 1257 01:10:30,080 --> 01:10:34,719 Speaker 1: to put it. It's it's being so fixated on healthy 1258 01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:40,280 Speaker 1: eating that it's damaging your actual well being or um 1259 01:10:40,360 --> 01:10:43,639 Speaker 1: kind of diminishing the quality of life you can have. Well, 1260 01:10:43,680 --> 01:10:46,760 Speaker 1: I don't know statistics on this because it's you can't 1261 01:10:46,960 --> 01:10:50,759 Speaker 1: diagnose this right now, which I actually I would assume 1262 01:10:50,800 --> 01:10:53,040 Speaker 1: the next time they put out like the d S 1263 01:10:53,200 --> 01:10:56,280 Speaker 1: M five revis or the six, like, I would assume 1264 01:10:56,360 --> 01:11:00,320 Speaker 1: this would be in there. Um this Also a lot 1265 01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:03,040 Speaker 1: of times these are co morbid or co occurring with 1266 01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:06,960 Speaker 1: anxiety disorders and like obsessive people disorders and stuff like that. 1267 01:11:07,760 --> 01:11:10,080 Speaker 1: I just kind of want to go through what this 1268 01:11:10,160 --> 01:11:14,000 Speaker 1: looks like because I will say in society what I 1269 01:11:14,120 --> 01:11:18,880 Speaker 1: see is this is actually a really big problem right now, 1270 01:11:19,200 --> 01:11:22,160 Speaker 1: is that it is being disguised as like wellness. Yeah, 1271 01:11:22,200 --> 01:11:24,240 Speaker 1: it's being really awesome. Like I see this to show 1272 01:11:24,320 --> 01:11:26,479 Speaker 1: up with a lot of the clienteles that I work 1273 01:11:26,520 --> 01:11:30,080 Speaker 1: with that at work in the fitness industry are really 1274 01:11:30,080 --> 01:11:34,960 Speaker 1: active in the industry or health space whatever. It's like this, 1275 01:11:35,880 --> 01:11:39,720 Speaker 1: Sure they're really healthy, but healthy air quote what even is? 1276 01:11:39,760 --> 01:11:42,799 Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying, And I'm like, wow, the amount 1277 01:11:42,880 --> 01:11:48,439 Speaker 1: of time they spend within this space, it is really 1278 01:11:49,160 --> 01:11:52,120 Speaker 1: not working for them well. And it will create irrational 1279 01:11:52,240 --> 01:11:56,200 Speaker 1: fear around food. Not so much about like that's going 1280 01:11:56,240 --> 01:11:58,720 Speaker 1: to make me gain weight, but like what else that's 1281 01:11:58,760 --> 01:12:01,120 Speaker 1: going to do to you? And so I'm just gonna 1282 01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:04,680 Speaker 1: talk about what that looks like day to day. So 1283 01:12:04,880 --> 01:12:09,479 Speaker 1: a person with orthorexia is going to be obsessed is 1284 01:12:09,520 --> 01:12:12,639 Speaker 1: a good word to say, with with defining and then 1285 01:12:12,680 --> 01:12:17,320 Speaker 1: maintaining a perfect diet. So rather than like fixating on 1286 01:12:17,360 --> 01:12:19,920 Speaker 1: like a goal weight or something like that or um, 1287 01:12:19,920 --> 01:12:21,479 Speaker 1: look in a certain way, they're going to fixate on 1288 01:12:21,520 --> 01:12:24,280 Speaker 1: eating foods that give them a feeling of being pure 1289 01:12:24,320 --> 01:12:28,479 Speaker 1: and healthy, but their definition of healthy um, because there 1290 01:12:28,520 --> 01:12:30,960 Speaker 1: are five thousand different definitions if nobody knows what that 1291 01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:33,920 Speaker 1: even means anymore, Like I struggle even using that word 1292 01:12:34,160 --> 01:12:37,040 Speaker 1: when it comes to anything. I mean similar with somebody 1293 01:12:37,080 --> 01:12:39,880 Speaker 1: with any other eating disorder, somebody with orthorexia, and may 1294 01:12:39,920 --> 01:12:45,080 Speaker 1: find that like their obsession is going to impact everyday activities. 1295 01:12:45,240 --> 01:12:48,639 Speaker 1: But there's almost a sense of self righteousness in it. Right, 1296 01:12:49,120 --> 01:12:51,439 Speaker 1: So I can feel like I'm not going to eat 1297 01:12:51,479 --> 01:12:54,200 Speaker 1: that because I don't know what pizza's coming. In my head, 1298 01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:55,960 Speaker 1: I'm thinking of any squared right now, but I'm like, 1299 01:12:56,479 --> 01:13:00,439 Speaker 1: I can't eat um white bread because ba blah blah 1300 01:13:00,439 --> 01:13:03,960 Speaker 1: where that's not organic? And do you know where the 1301 01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:07,080 Speaker 1: pesticides that they put on those tomatoes and what that's 1302 01:13:07,080 --> 01:13:09,360 Speaker 1: going to do to your body and how that forms cancer. 1303 01:13:09,520 --> 01:13:12,599 Speaker 1: It's like that's where I've shown it seen it also 1304 01:13:12,600 --> 01:13:14,719 Speaker 1: show up. A lot is around this fear of getting 1305 01:13:14,760 --> 01:13:19,800 Speaker 1: sick getting cancer. So I can't eat gluten. I can't eat, Yes, 1306 01:13:20,200 --> 01:13:22,720 Speaker 1: I can't eat. Everybody thinks I have food allergies. Yeah, 1307 01:13:22,720 --> 01:13:25,000 Speaker 1: I have to have certain types of water, I have 1308 01:13:25,120 --> 01:13:27,760 Speaker 1: to have all these supplements, all this stuff because I'm 1309 01:13:27,800 --> 01:13:30,640 Speaker 1: so afraid of getting cancer, which really is linked to 1310 01:13:30,640 --> 01:13:33,920 Speaker 1: a trauma and their story normally, yes, and the anxiety 1311 01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:36,800 Speaker 1: and the the but what is that control doing for you? 1312 01:13:36,880 --> 01:13:39,400 Speaker 1: And so yeah, and so the food the food ruals. 1313 01:13:39,439 --> 01:13:42,880 Speaker 1: What you're saying is like eventually those food rules that 1314 01:13:42,920 --> 01:13:45,960 Speaker 1: you're creating, they're going to create a space where you're 1315 01:13:46,000 --> 01:13:48,880 Speaker 1: either socially isolated because you can't go to eat or 1316 01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:51,320 Speaker 1: you can't do this or you can't do that. And 1317 01:13:51,560 --> 01:13:53,839 Speaker 1: what will happen is they can result in like actual 1318 01:13:54,240 --> 01:13:58,879 Speaker 1: extreme cases of anxiety and panic attacks. Like somebody who 1319 01:13:59,760 --> 01:14:03,439 Speaker 1: let say that you decide that gluten is the devil? Right, Okay, 1320 01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:06,639 Speaker 1: Well what happens if somebody touches you with a piece 1321 01:14:06,680 --> 01:14:09,800 Speaker 1: of bread or like you breathe around bread, you know 1322 01:14:09,840 --> 01:14:11,920 Speaker 1: what I mean, It's like I can't have that around 1323 01:14:11,960 --> 01:14:13,880 Speaker 1: like you know what I mean. And there's actually nothing 1324 01:14:13,920 --> 01:14:16,360 Speaker 1: that's going to happen, But they've create this belief around 1325 01:14:16,880 --> 01:14:19,000 Speaker 1: all this stuff because and I think this is getting 1326 01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:23,200 Speaker 1: worse now because there's so much information out there that 1327 01:14:23,240 --> 01:14:25,839 Speaker 1: has nothing to back it up, and we just believe 1328 01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:29,160 Speaker 1: it so much. It's like that's why the danger of 1329 01:14:29,240 --> 01:14:33,000 Speaker 1: like get your health information from somebody who does specialize 1330 01:14:33,000 --> 01:14:35,640 Speaker 1: in that, like get your food information from a dietitian, 1331 01:14:35,920 --> 01:14:38,840 Speaker 1: not just a doctor, because doctors when they go to 1332 01:14:38,880 --> 01:14:41,240 Speaker 1: medical school, I think they probably have like what four 1333 01:14:41,360 --> 01:14:45,040 Speaker 1: days of nutrition. A dietitian does that for four years, 1334 01:14:45,760 --> 01:14:48,880 Speaker 1: and so they're going to actually know the truth about 1335 01:14:48,880 --> 01:14:53,320 Speaker 1: what all this stuff does in your body, also your orthorexia. 1336 01:14:53,760 --> 01:14:56,720 Speaker 1: I would imagine a lot of times this idea of 1337 01:14:56,760 --> 01:15:00,559 Speaker 1: just wanting to live like a clean lifestyle turn into 1338 01:15:00,640 --> 01:15:05,520 Speaker 1: and then they accidentally now have an rex yet um, 1339 01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:08,479 Speaker 1: which is why it's really scary. There's also gonna be 1340 01:15:08,560 --> 01:15:11,800 Speaker 1: obsessive concern over the relationship between food choices and health 1341 01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:16,559 Speaker 1: concerns like asthma, digestive problems, low mood, anxiety, allergies, So 1342 01:15:16,920 --> 01:15:20,479 Speaker 1: just digestive system, digestive problems, that's a huge thing with 1343 01:15:20,560 --> 01:15:24,280 Speaker 1: like gut health and um all ib s and what 1344 01:15:24,360 --> 01:15:26,600 Speaker 1: is that leaky gut thing. I can't really understand what 1345 01:15:26,640 --> 01:15:30,519 Speaker 1: that even is. But like it's like I'm going to 1346 01:15:30,640 --> 01:15:33,840 Speaker 1: solve all of this stuff through like food, which is great, 1347 01:15:33,960 --> 01:15:37,120 Speaker 1: Like food can be a medicine, but like it doesn't 1348 01:15:37,160 --> 01:15:41,439 Speaker 1: have to be the only medicine. And again I'm not 1349 01:15:41,479 --> 01:15:44,439 Speaker 1: back to this place of like are you using this 1350 01:15:44,600 --> 01:15:49,120 Speaker 1: food as a tool for whatever I keep wanting to 1351 01:15:49,120 --> 01:15:50,760 Speaker 1: go back to this phrase of being healthy, but I 1352 01:15:50,800 --> 01:15:52,880 Speaker 1: hate that too. I think that's what they're doing. Is 1353 01:15:52,960 --> 01:15:56,160 Speaker 1: food being a tool? Or is is the food actually 1354 01:15:56,160 --> 01:15:59,960 Speaker 1: backfiring and controlling you? And this is the thing. If 1355 01:16:00,120 --> 01:16:03,400 Speaker 1: you are controlling your food to control an actual issue, 1356 01:16:03,760 --> 01:16:05,960 Speaker 1: are you doing that by on your own? Are you 1357 01:16:06,000 --> 01:16:09,080 Speaker 1: doing that because you have medical advice, like actual advice 1358 01:16:09,160 --> 01:16:12,000 Speaker 1: from an expert that's saying this is this? Because that's 1359 01:16:12,040 --> 01:16:14,479 Speaker 1: just like us like web M ding any other thing 1360 01:16:14,520 --> 01:16:17,599 Speaker 1: and being like, oh, I had this pain in my finger. 1361 01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:20,639 Speaker 1: I looked on web MD, and that means that I 1362 01:16:20,720 --> 01:16:24,160 Speaker 1: have colon cancer. I think I'm going to start this 1363 01:16:24,320 --> 01:16:29,120 Speaker 1: treatment that says that it's a safer form of radiation. Um, 1364 01:16:29,200 --> 01:16:31,160 Speaker 1: and I'm going to just sit in a mud bath 1365 01:16:31,320 --> 01:16:34,160 Speaker 1: with like live crickets, like you know what I mean. 1366 01:16:34,200 --> 01:16:36,839 Speaker 1: Like anybody can say anything, does anything, Like the episode 1367 01:16:36,840 --> 01:16:39,880 Speaker 1: on diets like celery juice, Like the guy who's made 1368 01:16:39,880 --> 01:16:43,160 Speaker 1: that a big thing prophesies that he could like heal 1369 01:16:43,439 --> 01:16:47,519 Speaker 1: whatever through cellery. Okay, you like he has no information 1370 01:16:47,520 --> 01:16:50,439 Speaker 1: to back that. It kind of reminds me of Okay, 1371 01:16:50,479 --> 01:16:53,240 Speaker 1: so before I had my wisdom teeth out it's my 1372 01:16:53,320 --> 01:16:55,519 Speaker 1: senior of high school. So let's provide some context for 1373 01:16:55,560 --> 01:16:59,200 Speaker 1: how old I was, like seventeen, and from my wisantin 1374 01:16:59,280 --> 01:17:01,679 Speaker 1: that somebody told me there like pineapple is a natural 1375 01:17:01,720 --> 01:17:04,640 Speaker 1: anti inflammatory, and so I was like, I want to 1376 01:17:04,640 --> 01:17:06,400 Speaker 1: go to this concert the night I had my wisdom 1377 01:17:06,400 --> 01:17:09,679 Speaker 1: teeth out, so I needed I needed this to go well. 1378 01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:12,640 Speaker 1: And so I was like, okay, pineapples a natural anti inflammatory. 1379 01:17:12,680 --> 01:17:15,120 Speaker 1: The way I am, like I do everything to the max, 1380 01:17:15,200 --> 01:17:17,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm gonna eat the ship out of this pineapple. Okay, 1381 01:17:18,120 --> 01:17:21,320 Speaker 1: So I eat this pineapple the day before I get 1382 01:17:21,320 --> 01:17:23,439 Speaker 1: my wisdom teeth out, and you better believe that night 1383 01:17:23,479 --> 01:17:26,080 Speaker 1: I was out partying at this concert. So what do 1384 01:17:26,120 --> 01:17:30,920 Speaker 1: you think I did? I was an evangelist. Pineapple is 1385 01:17:30,960 --> 01:17:35,080 Speaker 1: an anti inflammatory, Like, eat pineapple before you have your 1386 01:17:35,120 --> 01:17:37,600 Speaker 1: wisdom teeth out and you won't have swelling and it 1387 01:17:37,600 --> 01:17:41,160 Speaker 1: will be so easy. I'll be so amazing. When really, like, 1388 01:17:41,280 --> 01:17:42,840 Speaker 1: it probably had nothing to do with the pineapple. It 1389 01:17:42,880 --> 01:17:44,719 Speaker 1: probably just had to do with my body or maybe 1390 01:17:44,760 --> 01:17:47,080 Speaker 1: the surgeon you took the wisdom teeth out, or like whatever. 1391 01:17:47,439 --> 01:17:50,320 Speaker 1: But that quickly, I had lots of people in my 1392 01:17:50,360 --> 01:17:54,200 Speaker 1: life doing this because I was like, it worked for me, 1393 01:17:54,439 --> 01:17:58,080 Speaker 1: it really must be the thing to do, and so 1394 01:17:58,080 --> 01:18:01,479 Speaker 1: so quickly. That's like what happens with the our diet 1395 01:18:01,520 --> 01:18:04,519 Speaker 1: health craze culture is it's like something worked for one 1396 01:18:04,560 --> 01:18:08,719 Speaker 1: person and then it becomes every it's different, everybody's different. 1397 01:18:08,880 --> 01:18:12,920 Speaker 1: Just because doing this help this person heal this rash 1398 01:18:12,960 --> 01:18:14,760 Speaker 1: on their skin, it doesn't mean it's going to work 1399 01:18:14,800 --> 01:18:17,639 Speaker 1: for you. And don't keep doing it until you think 1400 01:18:17,680 --> 01:18:21,240 Speaker 1: one day it's going to work. It might not ever work. Um. 1401 01:18:21,280 --> 01:18:24,320 Speaker 1: And so yeah, I think, I mean they could also 1402 01:18:24,439 --> 01:18:27,000 Speaker 1: mean with that, they're could also be irrational concerns over 1403 01:18:27,040 --> 01:18:30,679 Speaker 1: a food prep um again, what kinds of foods, what's 1404 01:18:30,760 --> 01:18:32,519 Speaker 1: done to the food before you get it, where you 1405 01:18:32,520 --> 01:18:35,840 Speaker 1: get your food, washing your food, like utensils that you use, 1406 01:18:35,920 --> 01:18:39,080 Speaker 1: like ways that you cut your I mean, there's a 1407 01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:42,960 Speaker 1: million things we can get into that, um. But I 1408 01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:46,200 Speaker 1: think that what I want to do is just tell 1409 01:18:46,240 --> 01:18:50,160 Speaker 1: people like warning sign signs and helpful Yeah, and if 1410 01:18:50,200 --> 01:18:52,200 Speaker 1: there's any that you think of that I don't mention 1411 01:18:52,439 --> 01:18:54,559 Speaker 1: that you've seen or heard of, I want you to 1412 01:18:54,680 --> 01:18:57,400 Speaker 1: throw those in. But for you guys, like just warning 1413 01:18:57,400 --> 01:18:59,600 Speaker 1: signs symptoms of that this might be something that you 1414 01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:02,639 Speaker 1: want to look out for yourself or somebody that you know. UM. 1415 01:19:02,880 --> 01:19:07,920 Speaker 1: Compulsive checking of ingredient lists and new tritional labels UM. 1416 01:19:07,960 --> 01:19:14,960 Speaker 1: An increase in concern about the health and of ingredients UM. 1417 01:19:15,120 --> 01:19:19,240 Speaker 1: Which yeah, it's like I remember when there was all 1418 01:19:19,240 --> 01:19:21,680 Speaker 1: this stuff about high fructose corn and syrup of like 1419 01:19:21,960 --> 01:19:23,519 Speaker 1: that was the devil, and then people are like, you 1420 01:19:23,560 --> 01:19:26,000 Speaker 1: should use a gove a syrup, and then that became 1421 01:19:26,040 --> 01:19:29,200 Speaker 1: the devil, and then you should use pure maple syrup, 1422 01:19:29,320 --> 01:19:31,720 Speaker 1: but only the was like A or B and like, 1423 01:19:31,840 --> 01:19:34,479 Speaker 1: so yeah, it increased concern about like the health of 1424 01:19:34,520 --> 01:19:38,280 Speaker 1: certain ingredients UM cutting out an increasing number of food groups. 1425 01:19:38,320 --> 01:19:41,960 Speaker 1: So like now all sugar, all carbs, all dairy, all meat, 1426 01:19:42,160 --> 01:19:47,479 Speaker 1: all animal products UM an inability to eat anything but 1427 01:19:47,520 --> 01:19:49,679 Speaker 1: a narrow group of foods that are deemed as healthy 1428 01:19:49,800 --> 01:19:52,400 Speaker 1: or pure. So like think about clean eating, like a 1429 01:19:52,439 --> 01:19:54,840 Speaker 1: cup like that I think got really big, like ten 1430 01:19:54,920 --> 01:19:58,960 Speaker 1: years ago that I saw UM unusual interest in the 1431 01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:01,800 Speaker 1: health of what other people are eating too, Like I 1432 01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:04,519 Speaker 1: see this a lot because of their own anxiety and 1433 01:20:04,560 --> 01:20:07,479 Speaker 1: fear around whatever it is for them than having that 1434 01:20:07,560 --> 01:20:10,880 Speaker 1: fear show up with other people. UM that like they 1435 01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:14,640 Speaker 1: might not even have have the issues that like somebody 1436 01:20:14,680 --> 01:20:19,080 Speaker 1: you're dealing with health wise, um, spending hours per day 1437 01:20:19,160 --> 01:20:22,400 Speaker 1: thinking about what food might be served at a certain event, 1438 01:20:22,800 --> 01:20:27,040 Speaker 1: so being really anxious around that, UM, showing high levels 1439 01:20:27,040 --> 01:20:32,200 Speaker 1: of distress when safe or healthy foods aren't available, obsessively 1440 01:20:32,280 --> 01:20:37,880 Speaker 1: following food or healthy lifestyle blogs on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, 1441 01:20:37,960 --> 01:20:43,000 Speaker 1: getting too many magazine subscriptions, um, and then m body 1442 01:20:43,040 --> 01:20:45,760 Speaker 1: image might be there, it might not. I also will 1443 01:20:45,800 --> 01:20:49,320 Speaker 1: say these can all be symptoms of other word eating 1444 01:20:49,560 --> 01:20:52,120 Speaker 1: behaviors as well. The only thing I would add to 1445 01:20:52,160 --> 01:20:56,400 Speaker 1: their also is like the constant like trying of the 1446 01:20:56,400 --> 01:21:00,120 Speaker 1: newest thing. Yeah, and so maybe it's not in the 1447 01:21:00,160 --> 01:21:02,800 Speaker 1: newest fad thing, but the newest thing for them that 1448 01:21:02,840 --> 01:21:04,760 Speaker 1: came out that like you can't eat this any this 1449 01:21:04,800 --> 01:21:06,920 Speaker 1: week or like not even this week, but this season 1450 01:21:06,920 --> 01:21:08,720 Speaker 1: of life, I'm gluten free, and then this one I'm 1451 01:21:08,760 --> 01:21:13,400 Speaker 1: only doing the carnivore diet, and this like now, oh, 1452 01:21:13,479 --> 01:21:17,719 Speaker 1: I'm trying all these certain herbs, and then this time 1453 01:21:17,760 --> 01:21:20,639 Speaker 1: I'm only drinking this certain water or whatever. Like it's 1454 01:21:20,680 --> 01:21:24,320 Speaker 1: always this newest thing to be even healthier than they were, 1455 01:21:24,600 --> 01:21:26,160 Speaker 1: And they want the question that I would want to 1456 01:21:26,200 --> 01:21:29,800 Speaker 1: ask these people is what is this doing for you? Like, 1457 01:21:30,000 --> 01:21:33,639 Speaker 1: what is this control doing for you? Because again, it's 1458 01:21:33,680 --> 01:21:36,520 Speaker 1: not about the food, Like it's not about the cleanliness 1459 01:21:36,560 --> 01:21:40,240 Speaker 1: of the food, it's not about the pesticides that they use. 1460 01:21:40,360 --> 01:21:43,280 Speaker 1: Like what are you want afraid of? And what are 1461 01:21:43,320 --> 01:21:45,400 Speaker 1: you trying to control? Like what is it that you 1462 01:21:45,439 --> 01:21:48,559 Speaker 1: really need? Um? Yeah, because I mean when you look 1463 01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:50,599 Speaker 1: at it, I have someone very close to me suffering 1464 01:21:50,640 --> 01:21:54,479 Speaker 1: from this and like to watch that person walk through 1465 01:21:54,520 --> 01:21:58,120 Speaker 1: this and really struggle. They might look really good and 1466 01:21:58,160 --> 01:22:00,720 Speaker 1: they might say that they feel really good, but when 1467 01:22:00,760 --> 01:22:02,840 Speaker 1: it comes down to it, I'm like, man, they don't 1468 01:22:02,880 --> 01:22:07,960 Speaker 1: have any freedom, Like this is totally controlling their lives. 1469 01:22:09,120 --> 01:22:10,800 Speaker 1: I mean, I think I've already said this, but this 1470 01:22:10,880 --> 01:22:13,439 Speaker 1: is what I've seen as the most socially accepted, if 1471 01:22:13,520 --> 01:22:20,120 Speaker 1: not praised, ways of disordered eating, which is really frustrating 1472 01:22:20,240 --> 01:22:22,840 Speaker 1: and hard um to sit with a lot of tiends 1473 01:22:22,880 --> 01:22:26,479 Speaker 1: for me. I mean, it is glory rough FID. And 1474 01:22:26,520 --> 01:22:29,240 Speaker 1: the more we see something normalized, the more we're normalized 1475 01:22:29,320 --> 01:22:31,639 Speaker 1: to it. So then again, just with like the shapes 1476 01:22:31,680 --> 01:22:34,240 Speaker 1: of bodies we were talking about, the more we're seeing 1477 01:22:34,320 --> 01:22:37,400 Speaker 1: like this being an okay, way to live, the more 1478 01:22:37,439 --> 01:22:39,960 Speaker 1: that we're like, Okay, I guess they're right. Everybody else 1479 01:22:40,040 --> 01:22:42,640 Speaker 1: is doing it or there's this many accounts that are 1480 01:22:42,680 --> 01:22:46,320 Speaker 1: saying this or this, like and so yeah, I think 1481 01:22:46,320 --> 01:22:49,080 Speaker 1: that like we there needs to be uh, which I 1482 01:22:49,080 --> 01:22:52,920 Speaker 1: think there is, but a drive also to kind of 1483 01:22:53,200 --> 01:22:55,040 Speaker 1: maybe I think this because these are the kind of 1484 01:22:55,040 --> 01:22:58,880 Speaker 1: people I follow, right, Like I we need more people 1485 01:22:58,920 --> 01:23:02,360 Speaker 1: advocating that like this, this actually is not a way 1486 01:23:02,439 --> 01:23:06,680 Speaker 1: to find freedom and and quote unquote health. Yeah, it 1487 01:23:06,720 --> 01:23:10,559 Speaker 1: reminds me of like literally my favorite quote, which is 1488 01:23:11,200 --> 01:23:14,640 Speaker 1: there's it's no measure of health to compare yourself to 1489 01:23:14,640 --> 01:23:18,400 Speaker 1: a profoundly sick society a man, So I think it's 1490 01:23:18,400 --> 01:23:21,559 Speaker 1: continuously asking yourself, Like I mean, I'm sure you hear 1491 01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:23,519 Speaker 1: this all the time with whatever space it is. I 1492 01:23:23,600 --> 01:23:26,439 Speaker 1: used to do a lot more speaking than I'm doing currently, 1493 01:23:26,800 --> 01:23:29,040 Speaker 1: But I would hear in college campuses of like, oh, well, 1494 01:23:29,040 --> 01:23:31,400 Speaker 1: my drinking is not that much worse than hers or whatever. 1495 01:23:31,479 --> 01:23:34,400 Speaker 1: And I'm like one in four of you all already 1496 01:23:34,400 --> 01:23:39,000 Speaker 1: meet the criteria for addiction basically, and of you are 1497 01:23:39,040 --> 01:23:42,040 Speaker 1: like one criteria away from meeting it. So like, if 1498 01:23:42,040 --> 01:23:45,960 Speaker 1: you're comparing yourself to the next person, they're probably really sick. Yeah, 1499 01:23:46,800 --> 01:23:48,880 Speaker 1: I don't know what else to tell you. So as 1500 01:23:48,920 --> 01:23:51,479 Speaker 1: we like, that's the thing I would ask. Even as 1501 01:23:51,520 --> 01:23:53,960 Speaker 1: it comes to food, it's like, do you think as 1502 01:23:53,960 --> 01:23:57,600 Speaker 1: a society this is going well? And if so, I 1503 01:23:57,640 --> 01:24:00,479 Speaker 1: guess continue to compare yourself to society to gauge how 1504 01:24:00,520 --> 01:24:03,160 Speaker 1: you're doing. But if you can agree that society as 1505 01:24:03,200 --> 01:24:06,600 Speaker 1: itself is really, um, not doing super well, then I 1506 01:24:06,640 --> 01:24:10,160 Speaker 1: wouldn't encourage you to compare yourself to that. And society 1507 01:24:10,240 --> 01:24:12,759 Speaker 1: can be at large or like whatever kind of closer 1508 01:24:12,800 --> 01:24:17,120 Speaker 1: groups you're within. Yeah. Um, And this is earlier And 1509 01:24:17,160 --> 01:24:19,080 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that's statistic that I'm gonna bring up. 1510 01:24:19,120 --> 01:24:21,080 Speaker 1: In two thousand and seventeen, they did this study that 1511 01:24:21,120 --> 01:24:25,719 Speaker 1: I was talking about that percent of people who followed 1512 01:24:25,760 --> 01:24:29,640 Speaker 1: health food accounts, which I think we do that not 1513 01:24:29,800 --> 01:24:31,560 Speaker 1: as a bad thing. It's like, oh, I want to 1514 01:24:31,600 --> 01:24:36,439 Speaker 1: follow it. So those people have some symptoms of orthorex. Yeah, 1515 01:24:36,520 --> 01:24:39,759 Speaker 1: so it's like we're all again, we're all this together 1516 01:24:40,240 --> 01:24:43,559 Speaker 1: of like we need to start normalizing healthy. Healthy eating 1517 01:24:43,600 --> 01:24:46,320 Speaker 1: can look a lot of different ways, and my healthy 1518 01:24:46,320 --> 01:24:49,880 Speaker 1: eating doesn't necessarily have to look what like you're healthy eating. 1519 01:24:51,000 --> 01:24:52,680 Speaker 1: I could go on I think, and we could go 1520 01:24:52,760 --> 01:24:56,400 Speaker 1: we could do a whole episode on orth orthorexia, and 1521 01:24:56,400 --> 01:24:58,120 Speaker 1: I think maybe we will one day. And I would 1522 01:24:58,200 --> 01:25:01,000 Speaker 1: love to get a Di Titian in here to come 1523 01:25:01,120 --> 01:25:04,080 Speaker 1: like speak more about the things that I can't. But yeah, 1524 01:25:04,120 --> 01:25:07,160 Speaker 1: I think that was like most of what I had 1525 01:25:07,200 --> 01:25:11,160 Speaker 1: on I wanted to talk about UM. And a lot 1526 01:25:11,200 --> 01:25:13,880 Speaker 1: of this system involves like even as people are listening, 1527 01:25:13,880 --> 01:25:16,519 Speaker 1: hopefully it was informative and that sort of thing. And 1528 01:25:16,600 --> 01:25:19,080 Speaker 1: the other thing is is like what we're asking you 1529 01:25:19,080 --> 01:25:21,519 Speaker 1: all to do is really be honest with yourself about 1530 01:25:21,520 --> 01:25:24,400 Speaker 1: your relationship with food and with your body and what's 1531 01:25:24,400 --> 01:25:27,719 Speaker 1: going on UM. And so that's really what it's about, 1532 01:25:27,840 --> 01:25:30,080 Speaker 1: is like you're not good, bad, right or wrong, but like, 1533 01:25:30,280 --> 01:25:32,960 Speaker 1: is your relationship with your body and is your relationship 1534 01:25:33,000 --> 01:25:37,080 Speaker 1: with food working for you if you're really being honest UM, 1535 01:25:37,120 --> 01:25:39,720 Speaker 1: and if it's not, there's so much more freedom to 1536 01:25:39,800 --> 01:25:42,559 Speaker 1: be had and healing, Like you don't have to live 1537 01:25:42,600 --> 01:25:47,920 Speaker 1: like this. And yeah, here's the other thing. Not everybody 1538 01:25:47,960 --> 01:25:51,680 Speaker 1: has disordered eating or eating disorder either, So we're not 1539 01:25:51,720 --> 01:25:54,800 Speaker 1: trying to shame the world. But even if you don't 1540 01:25:54,800 --> 01:25:58,640 Speaker 1: struggle with all of these things. Again, you probably know 1541 01:25:58,760 --> 01:26:02,000 Speaker 1: somebody who is, and it's really nice to have information 1542 01:26:02,000 --> 01:26:06,280 Speaker 1: around like what that actually looks like. And I will 1543 01:26:06,320 --> 01:26:09,200 Speaker 1: say this that I think that it's really powerful to 1544 01:26:09,400 --> 01:26:13,599 Speaker 1: like step up in kind, not confront. I want to 1545 01:26:13,720 --> 01:26:15,519 Speaker 1: use the word care front but I used to hate 1546 01:26:15,560 --> 01:26:19,400 Speaker 1: when people front. I will defend the word confront. Why 1547 01:26:19,439 --> 01:26:23,240 Speaker 1: you have like an acronym Merriam Webster definition I can 1548 01:26:23,240 --> 01:26:26,479 Speaker 1: google right now, but I'm pretty sure the definition is 1549 01:26:26,520 --> 01:26:29,559 Speaker 1: something about to look at something face to face. So 1550 01:26:29,600 --> 01:26:31,720 Speaker 1: it's not yeah, it's not so it doesn't mean you're 1551 01:26:31,720 --> 01:26:34,000 Speaker 1: gonna go like punch somebody in the face with the truth, 1552 01:26:34,400 --> 01:26:36,639 Speaker 1: just to like look at something face to face. Yeah, 1553 01:26:37,040 --> 01:26:39,240 Speaker 1: um where And I work to treatment. One of the 1554 01:26:39,240 --> 01:26:42,719 Speaker 1: therapists would call confrontations care frontations and I was just like, oh, 1555 01:26:42,800 --> 01:26:47,800 Speaker 1: come on, but I mean, it's it's cool, it's it's 1556 01:26:47,800 --> 01:26:50,320 Speaker 1: a sweet way to say it. But what I was 1557 01:26:50,520 --> 01:26:53,080 Speaker 1: trying to say is like it is really powerful, and 1558 01:26:53,160 --> 01:26:57,040 Speaker 1: I think that it's I think one of the most 1559 01:26:57,880 --> 01:27:01,559 Speaker 1: vulnerable things we can do is like speak to somebody 1560 01:27:01,920 --> 01:27:04,960 Speaker 1: something that we see and um, if we love them 1561 01:27:05,040 --> 01:27:06,639 Speaker 1: to kind of like let them know in that way 1562 01:27:06,800 --> 01:27:09,680 Speaker 1: and so if you do see some of these behaviors, 1563 01:27:09,960 --> 01:27:12,960 Speaker 1: we can do some content around like how do you 1564 01:27:13,000 --> 01:27:16,400 Speaker 1: talk to somebody that you see us struggling? And here's 1565 01:27:16,400 --> 01:27:19,200 Speaker 1: the thing, it doesn't always go well because I know 1566 01:27:19,360 --> 01:27:22,880 Speaker 1: I had a friend um who was struggling with needing 1567 01:27:22,920 --> 01:27:27,320 Speaker 1: disorder when we were in college, and I wasn't even 1568 01:27:27,520 --> 01:27:29,880 Speaker 1: going to that school, but I didn't notice it, and 1569 01:27:29,920 --> 01:27:32,439 Speaker 1: it was it was pretty scary for me, and I 1570 01:27:32,439 --> 01:27:34,439 Speaker 1: remember being so scared. But I was like, why is 1571 01:27:34,479 --> 01:27:37,360 Speaker 1: everybody nobody saying anything to her? And so I sent 1572 01:27:37,400 --> 01:27:40,120 Speaker 1: her a Facebook message I think I probably could go 1573 01:27:40,160 --> 01:27:42,519 Speaker 1: back and find it, and she kind of responded I 1574 01:27:42,520 --> 01:27:45,280 Speaker 1: don't remember how, but it was like I'm fine, Like 1575 01:27:45,439 --> 01:27:49,120 Speaker 1: you don't need to worry about me, Um, Thanks anyway, 1576 01:27:49,320 --> 01:27:52,320 Speaker 1: and never brought it up again, and I I assumed 1577 01:27:52,320 --> 01:27:55,680 Speaker 1: she was maybe mad at me, and then like a 1578 01:27:55,680 --> 01:27:57,519 Speaker 1: couple of years later, she was like, I just want 1579 01:27:57,640 --> 01:27:59,720 Speaker 1: to let you know that, like when you said that 1580 01:27:59,760 --> 01:28:02,400 Speaker 1: thing to me, that was really meaningful and although I 1581 01:28:02,400 --> 01:28:06,320 Speaker 1: didn't want to admit it, then I wanted somebody to 1582 01:28:06,320 --> 01:28:08,760 Speaker 1: see me. Yeah, like at the end of the day, 1583 01:28:08,800 --> 01:28:10,800 Speaker 1: that's what people really want, That's what I want. That's 1584 01:28:10,800 --> 01:28:12,439 Speaker 1: what you want. That's what people want is to be 1585 01:28:12,560 --> 01:28:15,880 Speaker 1: seen in some really great language I think that people 1586 01:28:15,880 --> 01:28:19,880 Speaker 1: can use around it is just like hey, like it 1587 01:28:19,960 --> 01:28:23,320 Speaker 1: just doesn't seem like you're living like the fullest version 1588 01:28:23,360 --> 01:28:26,479 Speaker 1: of your life, or you know, it seems like you're 1589 01:28:26,520 --> 01:28:29,360 Speaker 1: struggling with this, or I noticed this, or even if 1590 01:28:29,400 --> 01:28:31,840 Speaker 1: you like I don't want to go into that, or 1591 01:28:31,880 --> 01:28:34,880 Speaker 1: I'm concerned. But then some of my favorite language, like 1592 01:28:34,960 --> 01:28:37,080 Speaker 1: to use for myself and to use for other people, 1593 01:28:37,320 --> 01:28:41,320 Speaker 1: is this isn't sustainable because sometimes like what we're doing 1594 01:28:41,360 --> 01:28:44,759 Speaker 1: in the short term, like might be air quotes working, 1595 01:28:46,160 --> 01:28:48,960 Speaker 1: but really like is this a sustainable way for you 1596 01:28:49,040 --> 01:28:53,240 Speaker 1: to live for the long term? Um? And most of 1597 01:28:53,240 --> 01:28:56,280 Speaker 1: the time that helps people see like, oh, this isn't 1598 01:28:56,320 --> 01:28:59,759 Speaker 1: sustainable because you're not telling them like it's not working 1599 01:28:59,840 --> 01:29:02,040 Speaker 1: right now, it's gonna not gonna work. But yeah, is 1600 01:29:02,080 --> 01:29:04,559 Speaker 1: what you're doing sustainable for you being the best version 1601 01:29:04,560 --> 01:29:08,759 Speaker 1: of yourself? Yeah? And yes, And a lot of times 1602 01:29:08,800 --> 01:29:11,400 Speaker 1: when you're in it, you don't want to see it, 1603 01:29:11,800 --> 01:29:13,800 Speaker 1: like you don't want to see it because maybe it's 1604 01:29:13,800 --> 01:29:16,640 Speaker 1: worth So again, it's a lot easier for us to 1605 01:29:16,720 --> 01:29:22,200 Speaker 1: say this stuff than it is to actually like do 1606 01:29:22,920 --> 01:29:27,800 Speaker 1: the challenging work to acknowledge and find some, um, a 1607 01:29:27,800 --> 01:29:31,120 Speaker 1: little bit of change. So I think really my hope 1608 01:29:31,160 --> 01:29:34,240 Speaker 1: for this episode was really just to start getting the 1609 01:29:34,280 --> 01:29:36,880 Speaker 1: information out and talking about these things like they should 1610 01:29:36,920 --> 01:29:39,400 Speaker 1: be talked about. Like this stuff should be talked about 1611 01:29:39,439 --> 01:29:41,800 Speaker 1: just as much as we talk about cancer. It is 1612 01:29:41,840 --> 01:29:43,840 Speaker 1: just as prevalent. So why aren't we talking about the 1613 01:29:43,840 --> 01:29:47,040 Speaker 1: warning signs? We talk about how to screen for breast cancer. 1614 01:29:47,439 --> 01:29:49,400 Speaker 1: We have to get like people have to get mammograms, 1615 01:29:49,439 --> 01:29:50,840 Speaker 1: Like what is it like do you do that every 1616 01:29:50,920 --> 01:29:54,000 Speaker 1: year once you turn forty? I don't know. There's all 1617 01:29:54,000 --> 01:29:56,200 Speaker 1: these screens for all these other things that we have 1618 01:29:56,320 --> 01:29:58,200 Speaker 1: to do of Like we should be screening for this 1619 01:29:58,240 --> 01:30:01,280 Speaker 1: stuff too, and I it to be normalized to talk 1620 01:30:01,320 --> 01:30:04,360 Speaker 1: about it. Um. And in closing, I kind of want 1621 01:30:04,360 --> 01:30:06,599 Speaker 1: to read something, do you mind? Yeah, go for it? Okay, 1622 01:30:06,800 --> 01:30:10,720 Speaker 1: it does it? Actually it was something on my Instagram 1623 01:30:10,760 --> 01:30:13,719 Speaker 1: and I I wasn't even thinking about it in regards 1624 01:30:13,720 --> 01:30:16,559 Speaker 1: to this, but it was just a quote that I 1625 01:30:16,880 --> 01:30:20,000 Speaker 1: posted and the picture said line is not better than Silence, 1626 01:30:20,120 --> 01:30:22,760 Speaker 1: which I got from a Chelsea Color song, and then 1627 01:30:22,840 --> 01:30:25,400 Speaker 1: underneath I said, mostly because we had this radical third 1628 01:30:25,439 --> 01:30:29,400 Speaker 1: option called being honest, and and I wrote it really 1629 01:30:29,439 --> 01:30:31,360 Speaker 1: bums me out when I hear stories where the option 1630 01:30:31,439 --> 01:30:34,519 Speaker 1: for truth becomes the last resort. I believe at times 1631 01:30:34,520 --> 01:30:37,120 Speaker 1: we think that swerving around honesty is the best thing 1632 01:30:37,160 --> 01:30:41,160 Speaker 1: to do. I just wonder how positive change can happen 1633 01:30:41,240 --> 01:30:44,559 Speaker 1: if everyone is always in the dark about what isn't working. 1634 01:30:45,200 --> 01:30:48,080 Speaker 1: When it comes to human relationships, both line and silence 1635 01:30:48,160 --> 01:30:51,759 Speaker 1: delay an opportunity for growth and healing, which really sucks, 1636 01:30:51,760 --> 01:30:53,960 Speaker 1: because these are things that are necessary to live fully 1637 01:30:53,960 --> 01:30:56,720 Speaker 1: in healthy relationships, and I will add now fully in 1638 01:30:56,800 --> 01:30:59,800 Speaker 1: ourselves as well. You may think that line is a 1639 01:30:59,800 --> 01:31:02,960 Speaker 1: way to protect someone's feeling but feelings, but what line 1640 01:31:03,000 --> 01:31:04,880 Speaker 1: is actually saying is I don't believe you are strong 1641 01:31:05,000 --> 01:31:07,719 Speaker 1: enough for the truth. And you may also think silence 1642 01:31:07,800 --> 01:31:11,360 Speaker 1: is protecting you from unnecessary conflict or confrontation. But what 1643 01:31:11,439 --> 01:31:14,439 Speaker 1: silence is actually saying is I am not strong enough 1644 01:31:14,520 --> 01:31:17,360 Speaker 1: to tell you the truth. So let's start giving each 1645 01:31:17,360 --> 01:31:20,000 Speaker 1: other some more credit. We can do challenging things, we 1646 01:31:20,040 --> 01:31:24,720 Speaker 1: can hear, challenging things, we can say challenging things. Until then, 1647 01:31:24,880 --> 01:31:28,439 Speaker 1: I hope for moments where honesty is valued over comfort. 1648 01:31:28,680 --> 01:31:34,000 Speaker 1: I hope for stories where authentic, authentic intimacy includes our integrity. 1649 01:31:34,160 --> 01:31:36,600 Speaker 1: And lastly, I hope for relationships where the love for 1650 01:31:36,680 --> 01:31:40,120 Speaker 1: one of other one our love for one another trump's 1651 01:31:40,160 --> 01:31:44,920 Speaker 1: the desire to maintain peace. So yeah, I just say 1652 01:31:44,960 --> 01:31:46,960 Speaker 1: that and that like this is hard stuff, but like 1653 01:31:47,000 --> 01:31:52,320 Speaker 1: we're so worth talking about it. Um yeah, well I 1654 01:31:52,439 --> 01:31:55,400 Speaker 1: got Are we done here? I think we are? For 1655 01:31:55,840 --> 01:31:57,280 Speaker 1: we don't know how to start and we don't have 1656 01:31:59,240 --> 01:32:01,599 Speaker 1: but once heard that people finish the same way they start, 1657 01:32:01,640 --> 01:32:05,679 Speaker 1: so at least we're being congruent. Yeah all right, well, guys, 1658 01:32:05,680 --> 01:32:07,280 Speaker 1: thank you so much. I know this is probably a 1659 01:32:07,280 --> 01:32:10,479 Speaker 1: longer episode, but it's so necessary And if you have 1660 01:32:10,640 --> 01:32:14,200 Speaker 1: any more questions around this topic, like send them to us. 1661 01:32:14,280 --> 01:32:16,720 Speaker 1: We would love like eventually we'll probably do like a 1662 01:32:16,800 --> 01:32:19,080 Speaker 1: Q and A episode where we're to answer questions that 1663 01:32:19,120 --> 01:32:21,800 Speaker 1: you guys have and so let us know and if 1664 01:32:21,840 --> 01:32:24,760 Speaker 1: you want, if you have questions around Okay, I notice 1665 01:32:24,800 --> 01:32:27,759 Speaker 1: I have these things. What do I do? Like? Message 1666 01:32:27,840 --> 01:32:31,160 Speaker 1: us like I love helping people find help. We will 1667 01:32:31,200 --> 01:32:38,040 Speaker 1: help you. Yeah, alright, peace out, randow trout peace love friends, 1668 01:32:39,080 --> 01:32:40,200 Speaker 1: feel it