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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota, and this is Carly, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors to keep the show alive.

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Speaker 3: I told my husband his life was a fantasy and

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Speaker 3: he hasn't been the same.

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Speaker 4: That would throw most people off.

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Speaker 3: I twenty five female, had an argument with my husband

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Speaker 3: twenty four male, around four weeks ago. Now, my husband

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Speaker 3: is the best thing to ever happen to me. His

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Speaker 3: eyes are so bright and have that childlike innocence and spark.

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Speaker 3: He's very quirky and energetic and so funny, and I

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Speaker 3: love everything about him. He's really all anyone could ask for.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from a few mail sixteen

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Speaker 3: thirty nine, And if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay Storytime supreddit And I'm Angie,

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Speaker 3: I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice. Goofily,

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Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers. We just know

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Speaker 3: what we would do in these situations, So let us

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Speaker 3: know what you would do in the comments. But a

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Speaker 3: couple of weeks ago, we had an argument about something

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Speaker 3: not so big and I said something personal to him,

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Speaker 3: which I won't say here. It happened in the heat

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Speaker 3: of the moment, and as soon as I said it,

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Speaker 3: I knew I shouldn't have instant guilt and shock hit me.

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Speaker 5: He didn't say anything back.

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Speaker 3: He just kept looking down and pretended to fidget with

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Speaker 3: something on the table, then walked out of the room

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Speaker 3: after a few seconds. He left the house and didn't

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Speaker 3: talk to me for about five days. He ignored my

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Speaker 3: texts as well and went back to his parents' house.

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Speaker 3: I made him food and took it to his parents' house.

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Speaker 3: I knocked on the door, hoping he would open it,

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Speaker 3: and he did. He just kind of stood there staring

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Speaker 3: at me, tearing up slightly. I've never seen.

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Speaker 5: Him this sad.

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Speaker 3: He just accepted the food by saying thank you, and

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Speaker 3: then closed the door. I called his mom to ask

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Speaker 3: how he was, and she was very kind to me.

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Speaker 3: She said that he's just busy with work and tired

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Speaker 3: and burnt out. That in time he'll be fine. Mind you,

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Speaker 3: he's never like this. We've had arguments before, but he's

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Speaker 3: always the one to get over it and not be

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Speaker 3: dramatic in his own words. I'm not trying to invalidate

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Speaker 3: his feelings. Those are his own words. I tried going

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Speaker 3: to his house again after a week. This time I

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Speaker 3: got some collectible Transformer figures because I know how much

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Speaker 3: he loves Transformers. That's really funny, Like, I'm sorry I

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Speaker 3: said that I hate you. I think you're ugly. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: they were a big part of his childhood. I got

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Speaker 3: him a few figures sound Wave and Megatron, which he

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Speaker 3: had said that he was trying to buy soon. I

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Speaker 3: knocked on the door again and he opened it. His

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Speaker 3: parents weren't home this time. I made sure to come

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Speaker 3: at a time that we would be alone. He again

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Speaker 3: just stood there in shock and stared at nothing, trying

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Speaker 3: to avoid all eye contact. When I offered him the gift,

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Speaker 3: he started to slightly tear up and said that he

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Speaker 3: couldn't accept them. I offered again, and he just fully

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Speaker 3: broke down. It hurt me so bad seeing him break

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Speaker 3: down in that moment. I probably felt more love for

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Speaker 3: him seeing him hurt like that.

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Speaker 5: That's really funny.

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Speaker 4: I know what you mean, but like, that's a really

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Speaker 4: funny thing.

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Speaker 5: That's a weird way to phrase that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, sure, I also cried, I'm on the verge of

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Speaker 3: tears just writing about it. I went to hug him

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Speaker 3: and close the door behind us. We sat on the

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Speaker 3: sofa and I tried to massage his head, shoulders, and back.

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Speaker 3: We both cried, and he kept apologizing and kept saying sorry,

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Speaker 3: it's not even a big deal, which hurt even more

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Speaker 3: because he was gaslating himself and ignoring his own needs

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Speaker 3: and validating his own feelings for the sake of trying not.

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Speaker 5: To burden me.

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Speaker 3: He's always positive and always looks up in life. He's

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Speaker 3: never cried in front of me before, but he's still

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Speaker 3: very emotionally present. Fast forward, He's been very distant ever

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Speaker 3: since I pushed him to come back to our house,

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Speaker 3: and I could see.

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Speaker 5: That he was depressed.

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Speaker 3: He was on the verge of tears all day, and

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Speaker 3: it broke me knowing how badly he wanted to cry

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Speaker 3: but couldn't trust me enough or didn't want to burden

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Speaker 3: me by showing that side of him. I read on

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Speaker 3: Reddit that a girl washed her boyfriend's hair in the

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Speaker 3: shower when she was trying to console him, so I

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Speaker 3: offered the same in the shower. He just broke down,

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Speaker 3: turned the other way and said that he needed time

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Speaker 3: to himself. I was crying myself just seeing him like that.

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Speaker 3: I actually despise myself just writing all of this. Ever since,

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Speaker 3: he's just been different. His eyes are empty, no quirkiness,

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Speaker 3: no jokes, no cheekiness. He's always making backhanded comments when

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Speaker 3: I try to talk to him, like sometimes it's the

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Speaker 3: closest ones that damage you the most. Almost sarcastically. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that doesn't even seem that backhanded. That just seems like.

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Speaker 5: This is straight up what happened here. Jeez. I want

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Speaker 5: to know so much say I don't know. Please help.

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Speaker 5: I'm willing to do anything. I just don't want him

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Speaker 5: to be this sad. I know it's all my faults.

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Speaker 3: I just got caught up in the heat of the moment,

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Speaker 3: and I'll never forgive myself for it. If I could

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Speaker 3: please get some advice to get him to emotionally open

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Speaker 3: up to me once again, it would be really good.

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Speaker 3: Even if he expresses anger towards me, I'll be there

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Speaker 3: for him and endure it. He's just closed himself off,

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Speaker 3: which isn't a healthy way.

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Speaker 5: Of dealing with it.

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Speaker 3: He used to share so much more with me before,

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Speaker 3: and it's I wanted to keep what I said private

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Speaker 3: out of respect for my husband, but I'll tell you.

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Speaker 5: If it means getting better advice, yes would help.

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Speaker 6: Blot.

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Speaker 4: I'm so scared, but I'm so excited.

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Speaker 3: Basically, my husband it's a child at heart because he

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Speaker 3: never got to be a child fully when he was young.

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Speaker 3: He reads comics, has collectibles, draws, et cetera, and it

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Speaker 3: is very playful. I said something along the lines of,

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Speaker 3: you need to actually grow up and live in reality

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Speaker 3: instead of a fantasy with your toys. I need attention

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Speaker 3: to something like that. And I know how bad it

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Speaker 3: is because my husband rarely opens up to anyone, but

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Speaker 3: he still shared that inner child with me, and I

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Speaker 3: destroyed that in him.

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Speaker 5: I'm the only one.

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Speaker 3: To blame for this, and there is an update, but

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Speaker 3: I was expecting it to be.

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Speaker 5: Way hard right though.

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Speaker 1: It was gonna be so bad, and I really am

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Speaker 1: confused on why of really deep apology can't fix this,

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Speaker 1: Like obviously a deep apology and time, but it's like

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Speaker 1: if you actually apologize and just explain where your head

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Speaker 1: was out when you said it, or like what you

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Speaker 1: were actually asking for in that moment, Like.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, right, And if he's at the point that is

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Speaker 3: he's like, I don't know, not associating, but he's like right,

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Speaker 3: eyes are just like staring out into the distance, and

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Speaker 3: like he's crying so much about it. There's I mean, okay,

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Speaker 3: if if he wasn't able to be a kid when

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Speaker 3: he was a kid, for sure, there's maybe there's just

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Speaker 3: some like heavy, heavy trauma attached to that or something.

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Speaker 5: But I don't know. But we do have an update here.

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Speaker 3: So it turned there was a deeper cause for my

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Speaker 3: husband's sadness, which I didn't know about. After reading some

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Speaker 3: comments and researching, I just pulled him into me when

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Speaker 3: we were lying down, gently grabbing his arm. He didn't resist.

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Speaker 3: I just said, come to me, come here, in a gentle,

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Speaker 3: calm and voice to try and soothe him. I held

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Speaker 3: him close to me for a while, and at first

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Speaker 3: he passed some backhanded comments like you deserve someone better

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Speaker 3: than me. You deserve someone that lives in the real world,

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Speaker 3: not in a fantasy, someone that's passed away inside, et cetera.

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Speaker 3: This made me tear up because I saw the pain

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Speaker 3: coming out in his words, but I didn't let go.

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Speaker 3: After some silence, I said sorry and explained to him

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Speaker 3: that I love who he is and his hobbies, and.

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Speaker 4: That I love that he has his own inner worlds

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Speaker 4: and inner child.

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Speaker 3: I told him I would never hate him because of it,

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Speaker 3: and said I love him to bits, and then I'll

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Speaker 3: never stop loving him or giving up on him. I

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Speaker 3: told him I got angry and said what I said

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Speaker 3: in the moment to try to hurt him because I

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Speaker 3: felt neglected the first time in our relationship. He was

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Speaker 3: incredibly rude and vile for me to say those things,

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Speaker 3: let alone think them. That is actually another thing too,

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Speaker 3: the fact that she was like, you need to pay

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Speaker 3: attention to me.

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Speaker 5: I wonder why she said.

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Speaker 1: It then, right, Like, because to me in my head,

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Speaker 1: I was just thinking, like, okay, you were feeling like

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Speaker 1: you weren't getting a lot of attention or like quality

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Speaker 1: times but with your person probably, Yeah, so can we

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Speaker 1: explain like that that's where it actually came from, right,

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Speaker 1: what was the real reasoning? Yeah, for those words, because like,

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Speaker 1: obviously you didn't mean it exactly the way that that

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Speaker 1: came out.

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Speaker 3: Sure, he started to really tear up and began taking

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Speaker 3: gasps of air because he was trying not to cry.

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Speaker 3: I just baled after seeing him this hurt, and he

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Speaker 3: did too. We both cried together, holding each other, and

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Speaker 3: I felt so relieved he was able to release all

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Speaker 3: the emotions and that he allowed me to be there

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Speaker 3: for him. I told him not to apologize, because I

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Speaker 3: want to see and know what he's actually feeling, and

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Speaker 3: that he doesn't have to hide anything from me that

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Speaker 3: I want to see the real hymn. I gently kept

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Speaker 3: cressing his face and hair. After some time crying, he

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Speaker 3: apologized profusely again for ignoring me.

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Speaker 5: I said, it's okay.

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Speaker 3: Arguments happen in relationships, and it's good that we worked

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Speaker 3: through this. I told him he it was right to

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Speaker 3: take space because I deserved it. He said he was

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Speaker 3: sorry he made a big deal out of my comment

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Speaker 3: and said my comment wasn't that deep and he shouldn't

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Speaker 3: have been bothered by it. I assured him it's fine

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Speaker 3: and just kept cressing his forehead and face. He told

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Speaker 3: me that life has just been so depressing and tough.

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Speaker 3: I asked why, because he's usually never liked this. He's

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Speaker 3: always the one to drag me out of depressive days.

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Speaker 3: He hesitated and stayed quiet. I asked what was wrong,

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Speaker 3: and he still hesitated. I asked if work was okay,

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Speaker 3: and told him that I wanted him to share what's

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Speaker 3: been bothering him because our job is to support each other.

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Speaker 3: I told him I would be honored and glad if

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Speaker 3: he told me and allowed me to help him, and

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Speaker 3: that it wouldn't burden me. He then told me that

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Speaker 3: he's been feeling anxiety and depression lately and that his

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Speaker 3: new manager is very rude and harsh to him. He

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Speaker 3: said he's been remembering the past mistakes his parents made

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Speaker 3: and that he doesn't want to make them with our kids.

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Speaker 3: He's thinking it might be better not to have kids

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Speaker 3: in case he gives.

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Speaker 5: Them bad experiences.

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Speaker 3: I now know what's been bothering him, and I'm glad

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Speaker 3: he opened up to me and allowed me to help him.

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Speaker 3: I'll figure out how to help him overcome this and

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Speaker 3: encourage him to share his struggles more often. Thanks to

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Speaker 3: everyone who gave genuine advice in the other post instead

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Speaker 3: of just jumping to conclusions. And for the record, my

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Speaker 3: husband is very mature. He can take much worse comments

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Speaker 3: from people and is very strong. If anything, it's me

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Speaker 3: that throws a fit over small stuff. He owns up

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Speaker 3: to his mistakes. He's hardworking, makes money, pays all the bills,

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Speaker 3: is smart with money, et cetera. So if everyone that

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Speaker 3: had to go at him frankly when it was none

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Speaker 3: of his fault, you miserable people just like to assume

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Speaker 3: the worst so you can dump your insecurities on someone else.

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Speaker 3: For the people that messaged me and gave me genuine advice,

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Speaker 3: thank you so much. I'm going to call his work

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Speaker 3: tomorrow and tell him he needs the day off or

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Speaker 3: a few days off. If it were up to me,

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Speaker 3: i'd on his manager where the sun does a shine,

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Speaker 3: But obviously I can't do that. I'll be spending the

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Speaker 3: whole day tomorrow with him, holding him and wrapped in blankets,

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Speaker 3: watching Transformers as someone recommended. Thank you to whoever recommended that.

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Speaker 3: I'll give him more figures and whatever else he's interested in,

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Speaker 3: but not all at once.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, Like it seems like everyone just talked it out.

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Speaker 5: Yeah talking to Yeah, I think that's that's great.

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Speaker 3: I had conflicting feelings at first, little bit mad you,

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Speaker 3: little confused at his reaction.

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Speaker 4: Because the context of what you said helped a lot.

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Speaker 5: It really did.

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Speaker 4: It was not that much wild choice to not include that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll do this for life, because if I do

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Speaker 3: it all at once, it'll feel like love bombing. I

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Speaker 3: want to evenly spread out the love I have for

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Speaker 3: this man throughout my whole life. And it's now it

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Speaker 3: makes sense why he went to his parents' house. He

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Speaker 3: didn't want to be seen like that in case he

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Speaker 3: thought he would be a burden on me. Not because

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Speaker 3: he threw a fit or was overly sensitive. Like someone

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Speaker 3: said in the last post, I hope you know who

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Speaker 3: you are. And that's the end of that story.

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Speaker 2: Nice.

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Speaker 3: I kind of wonder what happened with his parents. So

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Speaker 3: if he went to his parents' house, right, did he

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Speaker 3: say that.

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Speaker 1: That was I feel like he probably just didn't say

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Speaker 1: what the actual reasoning was.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, or maybe there's just something that he knows about

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Speaker 3: what happened and they.

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Speaker 5: Just don't totally know. Or yeah, he didn't tell the parents.

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Speaker 1: There's something something different.

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Speaker 3: Probably, I feel like interesting, But I'm glad you worked

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Speaker 3: it out, whatever all the details were.

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Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story. We're going on

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Speaker 5: to the next one.

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Speaker 1: I supported my wife's dream for years, and now I

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm carrying the marriage.

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Speaker 3: Uh oh dream a little uh more realistically.

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Speaker 1: Maybe my wife female thirty three and I at male

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Speaker 1: thirty four have been together for eleven years and married

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Speaker 1: for three.

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Speaker 4: Overall, we've had a.

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Speaker 1: Great relationship with ups and downs like everyone, but no

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Speaker 1: major issues and no huge fights. We've only slept in

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Speaker 1: separate beds by choice for one night since we've been together.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Aggravating Web twenty eight seventeen,

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Speaker 1: and if you want to set your own stories, go

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Speaker 1: to the r slash Okay, storytime separated it.

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Speaker 5: I'm Carly, I'm.

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Speaker 4: Angie, and we're here to give good advice.

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Speaker 1: Goofiy, But we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 5: We only know what we would do.

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Speaker 4: Let us know what you would do in the comments.

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Speaker 3: One night right wy eleven years Okay.

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Speaker 1: Recently we've come to the conclusion that she likely has ADHD, However,

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Speaker 1: she has not yet been diagnosed. Her symptoms are mainly

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Speaker 1: severe distraction and procrastination to the point of physical internal

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Speaker 1: discomfort when doing tasks, she doesn't have a vested interest in,

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Speaker 1: and she's late for everything. This lateness has been a

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Speaker 1: constant throughout our relationship. On the other hand, I find

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Speaker 1: lateness incredibly rude, and being late makes me extremely uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: I'd say we're late ninety percent of the time for

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Speaker 1: joint activities. She's a wonderful, selfless person, but she had

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Speaker 1: a very difficult pass She also has depression an has

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Speaker 1: had therapy on and off for years to deal with

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Speaker 1: her past, and she's just started therapy again. Since we've

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Speaker 1: been together. She quit working for two and a half

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Speaker 1: years so that I could follow a career path to

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Speaker 1: a random developing country where she could not work. I'm

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Speaker 1: forever grateful and indebted to her for that. We returned

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Speaker 1: to the city where her family lives three years ago,

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Speaker 1: and since then I've been doing everything I can to

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Speaker 1: support or her going in whatever direction she wants. She

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Speaker 1: returned to UNI to start a new career, but eighteen

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Speaker 1: months in she ultimately decided it wasn't for her. She

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Speaker 1: incurred a decent student loan debt that will both be

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Speaker 1: paying off. Since mid twenty twenty four, she's been aiming

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Speaker 1: to start a business. She has worked part time in

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Speaker 1: a couple of different jobs on and off since we

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Speaker 1: got back while prioritizing her business. She has a fantastic

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Speaker 1: product and I truly believe it'll take off, and she

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Speaker 1: loves making it, but has no real interest in many

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Speaker 1: of the other parts involved in running a business. She

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Speaker 1: has made no progress on those parts in the last

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Speaker 1: twelve months. She has also spent a decent amount on

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Speaker 1: the equipment and materials needed. On my side, I've been

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Speaker 1: working full time for those three years and have been

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Speaker 1: the primary income earner. Money is tight. Recently, I feel

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Speaker 1: more like her manager than a life partner, and in turn,

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling less attracted to her. We had a discussion

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Speaker 1: about money after doing a budget to help manage spending

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Speaker 1: of our joint funds. We did this together, but I

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Speaker 1: did most of it, as it's a task she wasn't

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Speaker 1: interested in. I asked if she'd consider full time work

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Speaker 1: or really focusing on her business by putting work into

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Speaker 1: developing a business plan, advertising strategy, and making sales. She

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Speaker 1: said she would, but she hasn't. The only time she

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Speaker 1: spent on a business plan is when I sat down

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Speaker 1: with her for coworking and led that process. I want

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Speaker 1: to help her, but I have no personal desire to

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Speaker 1: be involved in a business and absolutely do not want

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Speaker 1: to be involved in leading those components of her business

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Speaker 1: long term. She has lots of tabs open for other

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Speaker 1: jobs on her computer, but ninety five percent of those

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Speaker 1: opportunities closed before she puts in an application. She says

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Speaker 1: she simply cannot sit down and do it unless I help.

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Speaker 1: She smokes Devil's Lettuce frequently. It's prescribed, and I don't

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Speaker 1: really have issues with it because she says it really.

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Speaker 5: Does help her.

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Speaker 1: However, it's getting much more frequent. It's basically the first

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Speaker 1: thing she does when she gets up, and I'd estimate

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Speaker 1: she spends two to three hours per day smoking and chilling.

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Speaker 1: Had a weekend get away last week and she didn't

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Speaker 1: take her Devil's lettuce. Within ten minutes of getting home.

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Speaker 1: She was smoking twice.

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Speaker 5: Last week.

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Speaker 1: I came home from work after fairly long, stressful days

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Speaker 1: and she was dozing on the couch. This is a

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Speaker 1: frequent occurrence over the last few months. When I bring

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Speaker 1: up money, she says that I should look at other

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Speaker 1: jobs that pay more. She's not lazy. Things she's interested in,

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Speaker 1: like cooking, get done. Given our working arrangements, and since

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Speaker 1: she is home a lot of the time, she does

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Speaker 1: more housework than I do, although this has been more

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Speaker 1: balanced in the last few months.

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Speaker 5: She talks a lot.

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Speaker 1: About the need for coworking where I do the task

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Speaker 1: with her. This is fine, and I'm keen to support

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Speaker 1: her however I can. However, at the moment, the task

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Speaker 1: simply does not get done if I don't do it

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Speaker 1: with her, with seemingly no change in that issue on

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Speaker 1: the horizon. For example, her clothes have been literally covering

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Speaker 1: our entire spare bed for a week, as they do

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Speaker 1: most weeks. I made a passive, aggressive comment about it

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Speaker 1: that I regret, along the lines of asking her what

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Speaker 1: she thought the bed was for. This led to an

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Speaker 1: argument about me needing to put her clothes away with

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Speaker 1: her and the importance of coworking and body doubling for contact.

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Speaker 1: She leaves a lot of her things lying around on

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Speaker 1: the bed, kitchen table, coffee table.

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Speaker 5: Et cetera.

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Speaker 1: It is an absolute pet peeve of mine and makes

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Speaker 1: my skin tingle seeing those surfaces covered in her stuff.

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Speaker 1: We've discussed this frequently, and I regularly help her put

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Speaker 1: her stuff away. The day before this argument, I did

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Speaker 1: another task with her that she has been putting off

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Speaker 1: for months. She ultimately went and laid in bed while

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Speaker 1: I did it. I pushed her to help, and she

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Speaker 1: snapped and said why is everything we today. Sorry for

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Speaker 1: the long post, I guess I just feel like the

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Speaker 1: honest fur management and responsibility of the results of her

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Speaker 1: to ADHD is on me. So far, I can tell

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Speaker 1: she isn't taking tangible steps to help herself. The therapy

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Speaker 1: is to work through her past, not specifically for ADHD.

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Speaker 1: It's almost as if she's using the ADHD as an

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Speaker 1: excuse to justify these behaviors. I ultimately don't feel like

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Speaker 1: we're equal adult partners and are contributing equals lead to

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Speaker 1: this relationship currently. I love my wife, but I don't

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Speaker 1: want to feel like I need to manage her for

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Speaker 1: the rest of our lives. I do enough of that

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Speaker 1: sort of thing at work. This probably all sounds very selfish.

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Speaker 1: I'd say I'm the more selfish one in our relationship.

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Speaker 1: At the same time, I feel like I also have

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Speaker 1: a right to get what I need out of the relationship,

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Speaker 1: which isn't happening at the moment. Keen to hear from

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Speaker 1: anyone who's been through a similar thing this girl, I

401
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:26,080
Speaker 1: don't think. I think it's unmedicated ADHD, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like we should get some of that.

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Speaker 4: Going think the same, Let's get some of that medication.

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00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:34,560
Speaker 5: A little bit.

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Speaker 3: That was an interesting moment though, where it's like most

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Speaker 3: of it is like she needs to sing for multiple things,

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Speaker 3: like I need coworking, I need you to do this

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Speaker 3: with me so that I can do this, you know,

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Speaker 3: which is a very common thing with ADHD, the whole

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Speaker 3: body doubling thing.

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Speaker 5: But then it's strange.

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Speaker 3: To me that when you start doing something that you

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Speaker 3: guys both need to be doing, she's like, why do

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Speaker 3: we have to both be doing this?

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Speaker 1: Like you want us both to do this task, the

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Speaker 1: one that you asked me to.

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Speaker 5: Do with you?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like yeah, I do crazy how that works, right,

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Speaker 3: That's like when you have to explain to kids, like

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Speaker 3: when you say can you help me with this? That

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Speaker 3: doesn't mean can you do this for me? You know literally,

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Speaker 3: but yeah, I think we need to try medication.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: And if that's the case, I mean maybe she is.

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Speaker 3: Maybe she's not lazy, but maybe she's just definitely gotten

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Speaker 3: into it, like a mindset of not working towards stuff.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: That's what it feels like because she said she was

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Speaker 1: motivated when it's something that she's like really like jazzed

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Speaker 1: and interested in.

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Speaker 4: So I'm like maybe if.

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Speaker 1: We had the focus for the stuff we're not interested.

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Speaker 5: In you Yeah, yeah, I don't know. Edit.

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Speaker 1: Thank you to those who have already commented. A couple

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Speaker 1: of things to clarify that have come up in the comments.

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Speaker 1: I trust her implicitly, and no, she is not taking

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Speaker 1: me for a ride or mooching. She is and has

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Speaker 1: always done her best at contributing. I'm aware of the

439
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,640
Speaker 1: limitation she may have, and I'm trying to understand them

440
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,680
Speaker 1: as a mechanism to balance contributions a bit more. I

441
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,919
Speaker 1: should have specified she is currently working part time and

442
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 1: has been for a while. This is so she has

443
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,960
Speaker 1: time to focus on her business, but see the limitations

444
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 1: to that theory.

445
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:14,639
Speaker 5: In the original post.

446
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,280
Speaker 1: We have some comments comment to one another adult with

447
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:21,200
Speaker 1: ADHD here. I agree that she really needs to be evaluated, diagnosed,

448
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,879
Speaker 1: and treated. It's helpful to have a partner who understands

449
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:27,120
Speaker 1: my ADHD and doesn't expect perfection from me. But it's

450
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,800
Speaker 1: not enough to say, well, I think I have ADHD,

451
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 1: so UH just have to accept that I can't contribute.

452
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,920
Speaker 1: It can't fall all on you. If she likes making

453
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,920
Speaker 1: her product but avoids everything involved in the business side,

454
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 1: of things. It's very hard for me to imagine that

455
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,280
Speaker 1: she's going to be able to run a sustainable business independently.

456
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,280
Speaker 1: Treatment could make a major difference in her ability either

457
00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 1: to actually execute on her business or get any kind

458
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,800
Speaker 1: of job. Focus May is an excellent online platform for

459
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:57,359
Speaker 1: coworking any time. I also really benefit from body doubling

460
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,879
Speaker 1: and I use it a lot. Medication is very helpful

461
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,280
Speaker 1: for for me. Opie replies, thank you for this reply

462
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:03,560
Speaker 1: and for the recommendation.

463
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:04,600
Speaker 5: I'll pass that on.

464
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,679
Speaker 1: Your point about the businesses spot on and has been

465
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 1: nagging me for a while. Can I ask what way

466
00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 1: the medication has helped you? Comment to she's taking you

467
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,440
Speaker 1: for such a ride. She literally tells you she needs

468
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,719
Speaker 1: you to do everything with her so it gets done,

469
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,840
Speaker 1: and that's just what she needs. That's some wild crap.

470
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:25,080
Speaker 1: You've helped enable the entitled dynamic to Opi. Opi replies,

471
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,680
Speaker 1: I trust her. I know one hundred percent she's contributing

472
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 1: as much as she thinks she physically can at the

473
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:33,119
Speaker 1: moment and has throughout our relationship. The issue is that

474
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,879
Speaker 1: her best contribution is becoming subpar within the context of

475
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,639
Speaker 1: our marriage and is not on a trajectory that I

476
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,440
Speaker 1: want to live with for the next however many years,

477
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 1: and in increasing it at this stage seems to be

478
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 1: up to me to manage. I'm reaching out to see

479
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,040
Speaker 1: what she and I can both do to shift the

480
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:50,720
Speaker 1: needle on this.

481
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,320
Speaker 5: That's the end of mess story.

482
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,560
Speaker 1: I think some good old ADHD medication.

483
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:56,120
Speaker 7: I think.

484
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 3: So I think she should talk about this stuff in

485
00:20:58,560 --> 00:20:59,679
Speaker 3: therapy for sure.

486
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,440
Speaker 1: I feel like it probably just maybe hasn't come up.

487
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 5: And if the therapist.

488
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,400
Speaker 1: Heard any of this, she yeah, honey, She's like.

489
00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, yeah, because like I have ADHD too, and

490
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 3: like I'm on medication, but even on medication, and like

491
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 3: I don't know, there's things that I could have done

492
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,600
Speaker 3: differently on my own without medication that would have helped.

493
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,560
Speaker 3: And there's things that I should do differently on medication

494
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 3: on my own that could help, you know what I mean.

495
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 3: Like yeah, like there's there's also just other things and

496
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 3: other mindsets that you can have towards things that will

497
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:34,720
Speaker 3: help your ADHD, and like other practices and like think

498
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 3: even stupid things like exercise.

499
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,160
Speaker 5: And eating, you know what I mean.

500
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,719
Speaker 3: It's like that stuff like contributes to it too, and

501
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,560
Speaker 3: a therapist will definitely help you figure that out more so.

502
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:46,960
Speaker 5: That's the end of that story.

503
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 1: My boyfriend's family excluded me for years, but invited his

504
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,160
Speaker 1: brother's new girlfriend.

505
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 7: She's probably cooler than you.

506
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 1: My boyfriend, thirty one male, and I thirty three female,

507
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:02,360
Speaker 1: have been together for just over three years. We live

508
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:06,240
Speaker 1: together and are in a committed relationship. Over time, I

509
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,359
Speaker 1: have made a genuine effort to connect with his family.

510
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 1: I have joined them for holidays, birthdays, other gatherings, and

511
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 1: I have always tried to be kind, respectful, and supportive.

512
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from takuz and sashimi, and

513
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 1: if you want to see your own stories, go to

514
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,640
Speaker 1: the r slash Okay storytime subredded.

515
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 7: I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and.

516
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,800
Speaker 4: We're here to give good advice carefully.

517
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:29,639
Speaker 1: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

518
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:30,960
Speaker 1: what we would do, So let us know what you

519
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:31,880
Speaker 1: would do in the comments.

520
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:32,960
Speaker 5: I know, he says.

521
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 1: His aunt forty six female, who is considered the last

522
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,879
Speaker 1: single aunt in the family, announced that she is getting

523
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 1: married in June this year. It has been a big

524
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:46,879
Speaker 1: deal for everyone and the family's very excited. I assumed

525
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,960
Speaker 1: I would be attending the wedding with my boyfriend. I

526
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 1: have met his aunt several times. We've always gotten along.

527
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 1: There has never been any tension or awkwardness between us.

528
00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,240
Speaker 1: When I asked my boyfriend about the plans, he told

529
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 1: me that he had been invited but was not allowed

530
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 1: to bring a plus one. I felt disappointed, but I

531
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,440
Speaker 1: wanted to give the benefit of the doubt. I figured

532
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:12,440
Speaker 1: maybe the wedding was small or the guest list was limited.

533
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,280
Speaker 1: Then I found out that his younger brother, twenty six male,

534
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 1: who has only been dating his girlfriend, twenty female for

535
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 1: about six months, was allowed to bring her to the wedding.

536
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 4: That really hurt.

537
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:29,440
Speaker 1: I do not blame her at all, but it made

538
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,920
Speaker 1: me feel like I'm not seen as part of the family,

539
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:35,720
Speaker 1: even after three years. I talked to my boyfriend about

540
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 1: how I felt. I explained that it made me feel

541
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:42,679
Speaker 1: excluded and undervalued. He listened and was supportive, and he

542
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:45,119
Speaker 1: told me he understood why I was hurt and that

543
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 1: my feelings were valid. At the same time, he feels

544
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 1: that I should not let this one event affect how

545
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 1: I view his family as a whole. He thinks I

546
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,880
Speaker 1: should continue attending family gatherings and that skipping them might

547
00:23:57,920 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 1: make things more awkward or strained later on.

548
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 4: This is where I'm struggling.

549
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,119
Speaker 1: There is a family reunion coming up this summer in September.

550
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,159
Speaker 1: It's a big camping trip they do every year and

551
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 1: everyone attends. Normally I would go, but right now I

552
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 1: do not feel comfortable. I want to set this one out.

553
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 1: I feel like I need time to process and protect

554
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 1: my emotional space instead of forcing myself into a situation.

555
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 1: I love my boyfriend and I'm not trying to create

556
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 1: a rift or make him choose sides. I just need

557
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 1: some space to think about what this all means for

558
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: me and how I fit into his world moving forward.

559
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,399
Speaker 1: Has anyone dealt with something similar? How do you find

560
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 1: the balance between protecting your feelings and staying connected with

561
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 1: your partner's family?

562
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:44,679
Speaker 4: And we have an update.

563
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 7: This is weird. This is really weird.

564
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:48,879
Speaker 5: It's really weird.

565
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 7: And the fact that your boyfriend's like, no, you shouldn't

566
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,920
Speaker 7: like does he? I have a feeling he doesn't want

567
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 7: you to go right.

568
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 1: Why is he not calling out the fact that his

569
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 1: younger brother gets a plus one and he'd done, but

570
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 1: he's he does not want you there, Like He's like don't't

571
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 1: worry about it.

572
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 5: Baby's fine.

573
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 7: I get I get to like it's if it was like, oh,

574
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 7: no one's invited. That's one thing again. And ope you

575
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 7: understood that too.

576
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 1: Brother's girlfriend of six months.

577
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 7: He's invited you. You met the aunt, you've been together

578
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 7: for about.

579
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 1: Years, christ like multiple holidays.

580
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,400
Speaker 7: I feel like he doesn't want you there because he's like, hey,

581
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,159
Speaker 7: you should just let this go. Like it's just not

582
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 7: like they shouldn't affect you. You should just let this go.

583
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 7: I'm not gonna really ask about it, like, yeah, a

584
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 7: little bro and his girl for six months get to

585
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,160
Speaker 7: go like they're going together, but like I just want

586
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 7: to go alone.

587
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 1: The wedding invitation was sent out in March through the

588
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 1: not website. I went through the whole site, including the

589
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 1: couple's story and the Q and I section. To RSVP,

590
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 1: you have to type in your full name and it

591
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 1: will indicate whether you're invited solo or with a plus.

592
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 7: What see go on?

593
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 8: Go on.

594
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 1: When my boyfriend entered his name, only his name came

595
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,920
Speaker 1: up with no plus one. Out of curiosity, we typed

596
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 1: in his younger brother's name and his did include his

597
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 1: girlfriend's name in the Q and a section it said

598
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 1: the guest list was limited and only those listed by

599
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:12,680
Speaker 1: name were invited. At first, my boyfriend was upset, Oh okay, great,

600
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 1: and wanted to reach out to his aunt directly. I

601
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:17,200
Speaker 1: told him not to. I didn't want to add any

602
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: extra stress to her while she's planning her wedding. I

603
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 1: helped my best friend plan hers last year, so I

604
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,359
Speaker 1: know how overwhelming it can be. Instead, he called his

605
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 1: dad to ask about it. He stepped out for the conversation,

606
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 1: so I'm not exactly.

607
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 4: Sure what was said.

608
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 1: After I posted about it last night, I brought it

609
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 1: up again with my boyfriend. He was hesitant at first,

610
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 1: but eventually opened up. I had a gut feeling about

611
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 1: his younger brother, and it turns out I was not wrong.

612
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:49,640
Speaker 1: The couple decided not to invite unwed partners, but they

613
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 1: made an exception for his younger brother. From what I've

614
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 1: seen and heard over the years, he's definitely the family favorite.

615
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 1: He was a nick you baby, and the family has

616
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 1: treated him with extra care. He usually gets what he

617
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:07,439
Speaker 1: wants and rarely faces consequences. As we talked more, my

618
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 1: boyfriend admitted he does feel some resentment towards his younger brother.

619
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: He said, it's always felt like his brother receives special treatment,

620
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 1: and this is just another example. He has come to

621
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,399
Speaker 1: accept it because it has been that way since his

622
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 1: brother was born. There are clearly deeper emotions at play

623
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 1: for him, and I want to support him through that.

624
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 1: I also found out that a cousin thirty four male's

625
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 1: long term girlfriend twenty nine female of eight years, was

626
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 1: not invited either.

627
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 7: Dang okay, so okay, so my theory was wrong.

628
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's literally just younger brother that gets a plus one.

629
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,919
Speaker 7: That's insane. I feel like the entire family is going

630
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:47,679
Speaker 7: to go out on a limb. I'm going out on

631
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 7: a limb here. They're gonna just like look at him

632
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,640
Speaker 7: and just be like, do you think this is cool?

633
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 7: Do you think it's fair?

634
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 1: I don't think they're gonn question anything. He's the golden

635
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 1: child and everyone's been doing this for him.

636
00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:58,360
Speaker 7: This is crazy.

637
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 1: That made me feel a little less alone. She's actually

638
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:04,120
Speaker 1: more upset about it than I am. I reached out

639
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,360
Speaker 1: to her and we're planning a spa and nail day

640
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 1: on the wedding day. Honestly, it helps to know I'm

641
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 1: not the only one feeling left out.

642
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 4: We just have a little bit more.

643
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 7: This is really weird, and I think this is eye

644
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 7: opening for your partner for a lot of the partners

645
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:24,959
Speaker 7: and family members who are like, whoa this is? This

646
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 7: is not cool?

647
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:29,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's gonna be such a weird like people should

648
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 1: like because you don't want to call him out at

649
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 1: the wedding. But it's like, did he like get upset

650
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 1: and cry and that's.

651
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 5: How we got it?

652
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 4: Or like literally they were just.

653
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 1: Like we're not even gonna like potentially upset the Golden Baby.

654
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 7: Like I want to know what Opie's partner's dad said,

655
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 7: because like, yeah, he's the only one who gets the invite,

656
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 7: and like, hey, dad, do you not see what's wrong

657
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 7: with that at all? Does no one see what's wrong

658
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 7: with this?

659
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 1: My boyfriend and the cousin are still planning to attend

660
00:28:57,880 --> 00:28:59,960
Speaker 1: the wedding to support their aunt, which I come play

661
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 1: understand it is an important day for her. It still

662
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: stings that I was not included, but I've accepted that

663
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 1: I cannot control how others choose to handle their guest

664
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 1: list or family dynamics. I am choosing to focus on

665
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 1: my piece instead. I'm still undecided about attending the family

666
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 1: reunion camping trip, but if the cousin's girlfriend goes, I

667
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,400
Speaker 1: will be more open to it. Ps the petty part

668
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 1: of me wants to not invite this couple to our

669
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 1: future wedding when my boyfriend and I get married, and

670
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 1: also not give the younger brother plus one.

671
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 4: It made me laugh just thinking about it.

672
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: I might get over it by then, but I thought

673
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 1: it was a funny little thought worth sharing.

674
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, this is a weird family.

675
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 5: If you want to be petty at your wedding or now.

676
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 7: It's your wedding, your rules, and I get it. But

677
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 7: this is a weird dynamic for the entire family to

678
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 7: just be like that's cool, like you get like this

679
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 7: is all cool. It flies under the radar kind of thing.

680
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 7: I don't know, very weird, very very weird.

681
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 1: And I just don't care how nobody's the questioning.

682
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 7: No one's questioning it. That's that's my that's my head scratcher.

683
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:05,240
Speaker 7: Is nobody's questioning it and everyone's playing it cool like

684
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 7: this is okay. I don't know. I don't like it.

685
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story.

686
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 1: We're gonna go to the next one.

687
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 7: My boyfriend said, my gaming was a problem, so I

688
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 7: chose my freedom.

689
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 5: Bye bye to the boyfriend.

690
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 7: I'm from the UK and I have a very very

691
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 7: good job for someone my age, but that means it

692
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 7: can be very stressful. When I come home from work,

693
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 7: I like to wind down and play maybe an hour

694
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 7: or two on my PS four. My favorite game is

695
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 7: Fallout four and I play it maybe two to three

696
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 7: times a week. My boyfriend adored the fact that I

697
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 7: loved games, but I don't play them as much as

698
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 7: I'd like to. By the way, this comes from user

699
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 7: Throwaway ninety eighty seventy x, and if you want to

700
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 7: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

701
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 7: story time star bout it. I'm key On, I'm Carly,

702
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 7: and I'm Dakota, and we're here to give good advice. Goofily.

703
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,760
Speaker 7: We only know what we do, so let us know

704
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 7: what you'd do in the comments. As Op says, my

705
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 7: boyfriend's idea of winding down after work near the end

706
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 7: of the week is going to the pub. I happily go,

707
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 7: obviously to socialize, but I'm already done with that stage

708
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 7: of my life where I want to go out and

709
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 7: get waste now. But I do enjoy a drink. But

710
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 7: this morning he invited me out to drinks and I

711
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 7: have been absolutely shattered this week and I haven't once

712
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 7: looked at my PS four. I honestly just want to

713
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 7: sleep tonight. He immediately jumped on the defensive and said,

714
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 7: you're more invested into that PS four than me. All

715
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 7: you ever do is sit and play with it, which

716
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 7: isn't true. We have an amazing slash regular, spicy sleep life,

717
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 7: great soir girl friends, and I do make sure communication

718
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 7: is a thing we have and are honest with each other,

719
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 7: and we've been together for almost a year and it's

720
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 7: coming close to our anniversary. I told him that it

721
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 7: wasn't true, and I always offer him to play it

722
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 7: or with me and let him have a free reign

723
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 7: of it. He can use it more than me sometimes

724
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:56,280
Speaker 7: and has said, well, it isn't lady like for girls

725
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 7: to be playing You're far too old to be playing

726
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 7: it anymore. What are you my dad? What are you

727
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 7: my dad?

728
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 5: He just called you old and was assigned.

729
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 7: What are you my dad? You can't enjoy video games.

730
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:08,680
Speaker 7: You're a woman.

731
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 5: You're an old woman. You can't be playing video games.

732
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 1: You're old and a woman.

733
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 7: It may sound silly, but it kind of stung. I've

734
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 7: loved playing games since I was little. We argued over it,

735
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 7: and he basically said that I need to get a

736
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,239
Speaker 7: grip and that he's had enough and started shouting and

737
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 7: mocking me for it, then threatened to leave. Cool by threat, Yeah.

738
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 2: That's always the best part of the I'm threatening to

739
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 2: do the thing that would be better.

740
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 6: Don't don't let me leave though.

741
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, he's like, why aren't you going out to the

742
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 7: bars getting wasted and really hating your life rather just

743
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 7: staying inside and playing video games. You should go out

744
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 7: to the bars and just waste a lot of money

745
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 7: on drinks to feel.

746
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 6: Bad develop a serious substance use issue. Please be an adults.

747
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 7: I'm honestly not troll. I'm just stunned. He didn't even

748
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:05,400
Speaker 7: come home after work and went straight out with our friends.

749
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 7: Do I talk to him about it or just leave him?

750
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 7: Am I too old for it? Am I childish? Gambino

751
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 7: for this relevant comments, hydro Kahn says, yeah, he's an

752
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 7: a hole. I gain way more than that, and my

753
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 7: fiance is fine with it. We both prefer chilling at

754
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 7: home rather than going out to n whine after a

755
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 7: long day, though, your boyfriend sounds like a knucklehead and

756
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 7: it's trying to manipulate you. If it was me, i'd

757
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 7: leave him if he didn't apologize, and if you ever

758
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 7: said something like that again, hope, he responds. Funnily enough,

759
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 7: he just texted me saying he was sorry, but you

760
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 7: needed a dose of the truth. So he's basically said sorry,

761
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 7: not sorry to me. I'm amazed at how much of

762
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 7: a but he's being. I'm definitely considering ending things. I'm

763
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 7: trying to make a rational decision as I'm still a

764
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 7: little bewildered by it. User delete it says you're playing

765
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 7: excessively and it's encroaching on our couple time equals a

766
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 7: reasonable complaint. You shouldn't play because you're a girl equals

767
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 7: unreasonable complaint. Also misogynistic and sexist? Is he a butt

768
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 7: about you doing other unladylike activities? And there's an edit

769
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 7: saying ah, and he yells and mocks you in anger?

770
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 7: Dump him. We have an update. I think a genuine

771
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:20,359
Speaker 7: conversation should happen.

772
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 4: But I think the genuine dumping conversation.

773
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 7: He took the words right out of my mouth. I

774
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:28,240
Speaker 7: was like a genuine breakup, but we have an update.

775
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 7: Let's see what happens. And this was the next day.

776
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:34,359
Speaker 7: Oh and wow, it starts off with we meete up.

777
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:39,280
Speaker 4: Oh well not ey, no change it to happy.

778
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 7: It's good, it's not they got us. He came back

779
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 7: home wasted at like four am, and I had a

780
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 7: few things gathered together as I decided that I'm going

781
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 7: to be staying at my parents for a while and

782
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 7: sort things out like rent, et cetera. Before I left

783
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:55,400
Speaker 7: for my parents. He apologized in the morning at like

784
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,319
Speaker 7: ten am. He took the day off work because of it,

785
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 7: but didn't apologize, calling me out on my regular use

786
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 7: and just telling me to quit my boy habits. I

787
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 7: was baffled, and I asked what it is that he

788
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 7: wants from this relationship, because I was under the impression

789
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 7: he wanted me to break up with him, And he

790
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 7: said for me to listen to him and basically do

791
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 7: what he says. So I told him I am listening

792
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 7: to him, and that I didn't like what I was

793
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 7: listening to, so I told him he was being a

794
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 7: misogynistic pig. Made points of saying how often I play

795
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 7: my PS four and that he can use it more

796
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 7: than me. I then rounded it up by telling him

797
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 7: to go out himself and that we were done. Not

798
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 7: the most gracious thing to do, but it got the

799
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:39,279
Speaker 7: message across. There is a little bit left here, but congratulations, Op,

800
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 7: y'all left him. You didn't deserve him. He didn't deserve you.

801
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 1: Wow, and he really doubled down. You can't be it.

802
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 1: You're an old woman and you should just listen to

803
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 1: me all the time.

804
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:56,240
Speaker 7: They playing video games is unladylike and like, really uncouth.

805
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:58,880
Speaker 4: You know what is lady like though? Listening to me

806
00:35:59,000 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 4: all the.

807
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 6: Time, Yeah, and going to the pup.

808
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 1: My brain would simply turn to mush if I like.

809
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 7: Baby, you know what we really hot is if you

810
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:10,240
Speaker 7: just drank that guinness in like zero point two seconds.

811
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 7: I'm sitting in my old bedroom receiving mixed messages from between.

812
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:17,279
Speaker 7: I'm sorry, baby, please come back and stop being such

813
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 7: a witch. You get the point. I don't need that,

814
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:23,399
Speaker 7: nor deserve it. I'm a mixture of emotions, but hey,

815
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 7: at least I can romance MacCready or dance on Fallout four. Haha. Oh,

816
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,399
Speaker 7: we have some comments here. Come a number one. Your

817
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 7: regular use to playing games a few hours a week

818
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,399
Speaker 7: is destroying us. Well, off to the pub to drink

819
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 7: like I do every day. Bye. Come I Number two.

820
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 7: It's the fact that he had adored the fact that

821
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,240
Speaker 7: she liked games until he suddenly saw it as a problem.

822
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:48,400
Speaker 7: Com In three. Every time someone uses the term lady like,

823
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:51,960
Speaker 7: something passes away inside of me. If you use that,

824
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 7: I know you won't contribute anything of value to the discussion.

825
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 7: Come at four. Ah, Yes, the groveling and the demeaning

826
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 7: will get you back your ex. Coming five. I truly

827
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,520
Speaker 7: despise how ingraining the idea of gaming being a male

828
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,480
Speaker 7: hobby is. It was such a crap move to market

829
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 7: it to us that way. I got a friend into

830
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 7: gaming when we were in college ten years ago. She

831
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 7: was vaguely familiar because her ex was a huge Watchdogs fan,

832
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:19,759
Speaker 7: and I really enjoy just talking to her about what

833
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 7: she's playing now. She has since transitioned from interactive story

834
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:26,759
Speaker 7: games Detroit Until Dawn to turn based RPGs such as

835
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 7: Balther's Gay three and my favorite Expedition thirty three Clairevskier

836
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 7: Game of the Years, both of them phenomenal games. My

837
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:39,279
Speaker 7: friend's current game is Disco Elysium. Shout out to all

838
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:42,879
Speaker 7: my gamers out there. There's a case of if your

839
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:46,400
Speaker 7: partner or friend who or whomever is playing video games

840
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 7: twenty four to seven and abandoning their lifestyles and their

841
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 7: habits and like not showering, that's one thing. That's where

842
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 7: you need to find help and someone needs to call

843
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 7: you out on that. But this is your wind down

844
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:02,839
Speaker 7: of like, hey, hey, I enjoy playing video games, and like,

845
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,440
Speaker 7: this is how I wind down to play a couple hours.

846
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 7: Maybe you know, I think that's totally fine. It's weird.

847
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,080
Speaker 7: I don't know. Your boyfriend's weird, especially when he started

848
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 7: the relationship. You're a gamer girl, that's really cool. I

849
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,839
Speaker 7: like that about you. To you're a gamer girl. That's

850
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 7: unlady like, I hate that about you. So congratulations. Now

851
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:24,799
Speaker 7: you get to play all the video games without being

852
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 7: stressed out by a stinky, stinky man.

853
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

854
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 1: to the next one. Hey, it's Carly Keon's go friend here.

855
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,359
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

856
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,360
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

857
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 2: My brother nearly ruined our family, and my mother wants

858
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 2: me to keep.

859
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 5: Him ew no, get him out of here.

860
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 6: Jesus, I don't know where to begin.

861
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:53,399
Speaker 2: Recently, I started listening to these Am I the Ah

862
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:57,720
Speaker 2: videos while working out. So I have a strange, intense

863
00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:00,359
Speaker 2: relationship with my mom and a lot of her side

864
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 2: of the family. When I was twenty one, I became

865
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:06,839
Speaker 2: a single father to my daughter CC. And by the way,

866
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 2: this comes from user Living Wheel. And if you want

867
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:11,360
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

868
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 2: Okay storytime subpurt it. I'm Dakota and I'm Savannah, and

869
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,880
Speaker 2: we're here to give good advice. Goofily because we don't

870
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:18,920
Speaker 2: know all the answers to everything. We only know what

871
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,759
Speaker 2: we know, So let us know what you know in

872
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 2: the comments, and OP says I was working overnights in

873
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:28,560
Speaker 2: a warehouse and had to move back in with my

874
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:32,720
Speaker 2: mom and younger golden child brother I'll just called him GB.

875
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 2: Going forward, as CC's egg donor decided she'd rather live

876
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 2: the socialite life than be a mother. My mom was

877
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 2: helpful with CC when it was convenient for her. If

878
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:44,920
Speaker 2: she had a rough day at work, she was more

879
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 2: concerned with having a drink and unwinding rather than helping

880
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 2: with her granddaughter.

881
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 6: GB.

882
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 2: Though I could write a book about how incompetent and

883
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:57,280
Speaker 2: useless he was, one day is burned into my memory.

884
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 2: CEC was only about eight months old at time. On

885
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 2: my way home from work one morning, I got stuck

886
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 2: in traffic. I tried calling home and let them know

887
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:08,840
Speaker 2: what was going on and that CC likely needed to

888
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 2: be fed. I got home almost two hours after clocking

889
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 2: out and heard CC crying in our room. GB was

890
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,879
Speaker 2: sitting on the couch. He said something that almost set

891
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:23,840
Speaker 2: me off. He said, about daying time, she's been crying.

892
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 2: I explained there was an accident blocking traffic and asked

893
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:32,920
Speaker 2: him why she was crying. I don't know, is all

894
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 2: I got in response. I asked how long as I

895
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 2: headed into my room. According to him, she had been

896
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 2: crying for almost an hour, with a soiled diaper and hungry.

897
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 2: GB couldn't even be bothered to check on her. It

898
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 2: is crazy to let a baby cry for an hour

899
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 2: and not do anything about it, even if it's not

900
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 2: your baby, even if it's.

901
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 6: Your brother's baby.

902
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 2: You're insane for not checking on the baby at all

903
00:40:58,400 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 2: or doing anything.

904
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,960
Speaker 5: I feel like it's just a response in humans that

905
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 5: like when you hear a baby cry, like for me

906
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 5: at least it like pains me.

907
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 6: No, it does.

908
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 5: It's like, okay, I have to go and stop it's.

909
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 6: Supposed to And he just like put his headphones in.

910
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 5: Probably that's insane. I ever, what and for an hour?

911
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 5: Could you imagine how hoarse like the their throat is.

912
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 2: You know, I'm fully you gotta you gotta lay out

913
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 2: exactly what you're looking for. Though, if your brother is

914
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 2: this stupid and incompetent, you gotta be like, if I'm

915
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:32,400
Speaker 2: not here, you can do this. You can do a

916
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 2: thing the baby, not even help me help the baby.

917
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 2: After a couple of years of these two acting like this,

918
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 2: especially Golden Boy, I was on the phone with my

919
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:47,359
Speaker 2: dad and stepmom. He offered me help with raising her

920
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 2: and getting my life on track. The cliff notes on

921
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 2: what happened next. CC's egg donor royally messed up and

922
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 2: got her parental rights terminated, essentially leaving her without a

923
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:02,360
Speaker 2: legal mother. Mom's started giving me grief about running away

924
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 2: from family responsibilities. Golden Boys started talking about what he

925
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 2: was going to do to my room once we were gone.

926
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 2: I packed everything up and made an eleven hundred mile

927
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:15,760
Speaker 2: road trip several states away with a toddler phone turned

928
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 2: off because my mom was blowing it up, demanding I

929
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 2: turn around and bring her only grandchild back to her.

930
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 6: Since then, I.

931
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,479
Speaker 2: Met a woman who was phenomenal with CEC. We got

932
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:29,959
Speaker 2: married and she adopted CEC officially a couple of years ago,

933
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:33,120
Speaker 2: right after Mother's Day. We also have an eight year

934
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 2: old son. We've made trips back to my hometown several

935
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,319
Speaker 2: times over the years, usually for holidays or stopping by

936
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:42,280
Speaker 2: on our way to Orlando. The hometown is in Florida,

937
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 2: by the way, and over the years, Golden Boy has

938
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:48,840
Speaker 2: not shown the slightest interest in growing up or not

939
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:52,720
Speaker 2: being absolutely disgusting. I'm pretty sure there are stories about

940
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:57,439
Speaker 2: him on the neck Beard subreddit. Details about Golden Boy

941
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:02,000
Speaker 2: Golden bingis he is thirty six years old now. He

942
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,840
Speaker 2: still lives at home with mom. He's been on disability

943
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 2: for a while, not entirely sure how long, for seizures.

944
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 2: He had them as a teenager, then they stopped for

945
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 2: a while and came back as an adult, and his

946
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 2: fast food job couldn't keep him because he couldn't have

947
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:19,080
Speaker 2: a seizure around hot oil and sharp knives. He and

948
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:21,839
Speaker 2: my mom went through the process of getting him on disability.

949
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 2: So he does nothing but sleep and play video games

950
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:25,959
Speaker 2: all day.

951
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 6: That's crazy.

952
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 2: The guy who has seizures is playing video games all day.

953
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:33,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like that's not gonna work now.

954
00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 2: He thinks that he's the cool uncle for some reason.

955
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 2: We never stay with them when we're in town, and

956
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:42,760
Speaker 2: Ceci has been very vocal over the last six years

957
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 2: that my brother makes her feel uncomfortable. When she was twelve,

958
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 2: he offered to let her smoke or drink with him, since,

959
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 2: to him, quote, kids your age are going to do

960
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 2: it anyway, might as well do it with an adult

961
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 2: you trust.

962
00:43:58,239 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 6: When she was twelve, whoa, that's great.

963
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:04,760
Speaker 2: I mean depending on what part of Florida you're from,

964
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 2: Like yeah, sure, but like you shouldn't be encouraging it.

965
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 6: That's crazy.

966
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 2: He also talked about his relationships, the last one seventeen

967
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 2: years ago, in uncomfortable detail.

968
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 5: With his niece.

969
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:20,680
Speaker 2: He even has to be reminded to bathe. Both Ceci

970
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 2: and my son, who is eight years old, have called

971
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 2: him out for smelling like straight up bo and cat p.

972
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:30,040
Speaker 2: According to my mom, this is rude and uncalled for

973
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:32,879
Speaker 2: I need to make this clear. He has never been

974
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:37,840
Speaker 2: diagnosed as autistic or developmentally challenged or neurodivergent in any way.

975
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:42,919
Speaker 2: He's just been raised, entitled and lazy. Recently, we got

976
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:46,840
Speaker 2: back from an Orlando trip, passing through my hometown without stopping.

977
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 2: I got that guilt laden phone call from my mom

978
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 2: about how they missed us, and she drops this bomb.

979
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:56,400
Speaker 2: She updated her will to leave everything split between me

980
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 2: and Golden Boy, and she wants me to take him

981
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 2: in and care for him if anything happens to her.

982
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:06,399
Speaker 2: I couldn't help but laugh and tell her in these

983
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 2: exact words, not a snowflake's chance in the lake of fire.

984
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:15,080
Speaker 2: Is he ever living with us? She knows he makes

985
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:18,239
Speaker 2: Cecy uncomfortable, but her logic is since she's going off

986
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:20,719
Speaker 2: to college soon and will be out on her own,

987
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 2: that means we'll have the space and Cec won't have

988
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:24,520
Speaker 2: to worry about him.

989
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 8: Oh that's so nice. Your eighteen year old's going to

990
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 8: go to college soon, so you can take in your

991
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 8: thirty six year old brother and make him your next teenager.

992
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 8: No for real though, no, abs No.

993
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 2: She explained that my brother can't take care of himself

994
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:45,399
Speaker 2: because of his seizures. He can't cook, he can't clean

995
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:48,360
Speaker 2: up after himself, and can't remember to bathe unless reminded.

996
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 5: No, no, no, that's not how that works.

997
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 2: When she started going on about CC not feeling uncomfortable

998
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 2: around him because he openly talked about his spicy sleep

999
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 2: life to his niece when she was twelve, I said,

1000
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:04,279
Speaker 2: you are describing someone who needs assisted living, not a

1001
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 2: room in a house with people unqualified to provide the

1002
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 2: assistance you say he clearly needs. And I'm not making

1003
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:14,319
Speaker 2: my kids spend time around anyone who makes them feel uncomfortable,

1004
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:17,879
Speaker 2: family or not. Honestly, I don't really care if I'm

1005
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,400
Speaker 2: the a hole or not. This whole thing just started

1006
00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 2: pissing me off, and there are comments and I would say,

1007
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 2: you're not the ale.

1008
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:27,040
Speaker 6: That's insane. Your brother needs to learn how to take

1009
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 6: care of himself, even if he does have seizures.

1010
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:33,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, having seizures doesn't like I mean, that is a

1011
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 5: horrible thing to have, but it does not affect the

1012
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:40,320
Speaker 5: way that you can just like pick up after yourself.

1013
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:40,840
Speaker 5: That's crazy.

1014
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:43,400
Speaker 6: I know this guy totally. He played the system.

1015
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 2: He got on disability for having a seizure, diagnosis and

1016
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 2: he has just completely checked out of his own existence

1017
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:53,000
Speaker 2: at this point. Yeah, so mom takes care of everything.

1018
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:58,480
Speaker 2: It's ridiculous comments. Not the A whole as someone with seizures.

1019
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:02,319
Speaker 2: He's just lazy. I have a job, I'm married, I

1020
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:05,480
Speaker 2: have children, and bathe regularly and clean up after myself

1021
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:08,920
Speaker 2: and others and cook. I am a functioning adult capable

1022
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:11,920
Speaker 2: of taking care of herself, and I still have seizures.

1023
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:14,440
Speaker 2: I wear a medical bracelet with a QR code that

1024
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,080
Speaker 2: prompts someone to call my emergency contact if I have

1025
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 2: a seizure. It also has all the information a paramedic

1026
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 2: might need. Seizures aren't a reason to lay around and

1027
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:27,160
Speaker 2: do nothing. Yes, there are people who have seizures that

1028
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:31,000
Speaker 2: also have disabilities. From what you describe here, he doesn't

1029
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:33,480
Speaker 2: seem to be one of them. He's in for one

1030
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 2: brutal wake up call. When she passes, there will be

1031
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 2: no one to save him from his laziness. And there

1032
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:43,080
Speaker 2: are a second comment, not the a hole, but ask

1033
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,719
Speaker 2: for a copy of the will. If it's guardianship of

1034
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 2: the manchild, then put him in assisted living. Opie says,

1035
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 2: I plan on consulting a lawyer to make sure my

1036
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 2: bases are covered, but from what my wife and I found,

1037
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:57,840
Speaker 2: there is no sibling responsibility laws in Florida or Texas,

1038
00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 2: which is where we are, and they can't legally make

1039
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:03,360
Speaker 2: me take him in. Comment three, He says, I'm on

1040
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 2: the fence, but I'm confident of this. She can put

1041
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:09,240
Speaker 2: whatever the heck she wants in her will. That doesn't

1042
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 2: mean you have to take him in, although depending on

1043
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 2: your location and how smart her lawyer is, that might

1044
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 2: mean you don't get whatever your inheritance would be not

1045
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:21,200
Speaker 2: the a hole. And I'm surprised you're still in touch

1046
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:24,359
Speaker 2: with either of them. I wouldn't be op, he says.

1047
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,439
Speaker 2: I mainly keep in touch with her for my kid's sake.

1048
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:30,399
Speaker 2: Dad and stepmom passed six and four years ago. Mom

1049
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 2: got sober a few years after I left, and although

1050
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 2: I still keep her at a distance, I can at

1051
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 2: least say she's a decent grandmother. Now, the current situation excluded,

1052
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,880
Speaker 2: But as it stands, if my inheritance is dependent on

1053
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 2: taking him in, I'm more than willing to just let

1054
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 2: everything go. And there's an update, Yeah, I think counter offer.

1055
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 2: Why don't we just have a move out right now?

1056
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 2: Have a move out right now, you pay for his

1057
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:56,280
Speaker 2: apartment blah blah blah blah.

1058
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:58,160
Speaker 6: And if you're like, oh, I can't do that, it's like,

1059
00:48:58,200 --> 00:48:59,719
Speaker 6: well he needs to be able to.

1060
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:03,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, It's just like how long do you have to

1061
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:07,840
Speaker 5: like keep a man child around like for him to

1062
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:09,680
Speaker 5: like get a wake up call or something. It's just

1063
00:49:09,719 --> 00:49:12,319
Speaker 5: like how many things can you possibly do for this

1064
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 5: person when they don't do anything for themselves or others,

1065
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 5: They're just sitting there rotting.

1066
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:18,799
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's why the wake up call needs to

1067
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:21,720
Speaker 2: be like there's no one here taking care of you anymore.

1068
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 6: Wake up call. You actually have to figure it out.

1069
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:29,280
Speaker 5: Start learning how to use a rag and a sponge

1070
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:31,319
Speaker 5: to clean yourself up.

1071
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:33,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, or just live in a hovel, live in a

1072
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,560
Speaker 2: little place and let it become a filthy, disgusting mess

1073
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 2: and live off your disability checks and be a disgusting

1074
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:40,919
Speaker 2: little hermit man.

1075
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 6: Those are your choices. But that has nothing to do

1076
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:43,839
Speaker 6: with op.

1077
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:45,279
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1078
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:50,919
Speaker 6: Update didn't expect this to blow up. Nobody ever does.

1079
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,560
Speaker 2: I guess I was busy over the weekend, but I'm

1080
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:56,800
Speaker 2: back to work from my paid time off now until August.

1081
00:49:57,520 --> 00:50:00,560
Speaker 2: Mom and Golden Boy never agreed to take care of cz.

1082
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:04,640
Speaker 2: They did after CEC's bio mom disappeared, but they dropped

1083
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 2: the ball consistently. It almost cost me custody. Why am

1084
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:12,719
Speaker 2: I still in contact with them? A golden boy, I'm

1085
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:15,399
Speaker 2: not in contact with but my mom. I maybe talked

1086
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:17,879
Speaker 2: to her three times a year Christmas Birthday in Mother's Day.

1087
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:21,799
Speaker 2: I haven't seen her in over two years. His disability,

1088
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:26,799
Speaker 2: he has been seizure free for multiple years. One of

1089
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:29,480
Speaker 2: my old coworkers has seizures and the longest she went

1090
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 2: without one in eight years was two months. He can

1091
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:36,360
Speaker 2: still work and is able bodied. He doesn't need someone

1092
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 2: to do everything for him. Yeah, I think get him

1093
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,480
Speaker 2: a job. First step, Get job?

1094
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:46,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, right, Like get a job. Like all that time

1095
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:48,800
Speaker 5: that you have that you're setting around, like wasting away

1096
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,439
Speaker 5: like either watching TV or like playing video games or something,

1097
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:53,720
Speaker 5: it's like, go out and do something.

1098
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:55,680
Speaker 6: Just take a walk outside.

1099
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:59,720
Speaker 2: Literally go outside and let at least the air unstankify

1100
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:00,720
Speaker 2: you in some way.

1101
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:03,960
Speaker 6: You're so stanked out you're not even bathing.

1102
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:10,239
Speaker 5: Like it's just it's just such like ego and entitled entitlement.

1103
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:12,600
Speaker 2: Truly, just like full blown. I've given up on life

1104
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:14,080
Speaker 2: entitlement and like.

1105
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,359
Speaker 5: Why would you want to pass that burden onto someone else,

1106
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:17,920
Speaker 5: like in your own like child.

1107
00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:19,840
Speaker 2: I don't know, it's just probably the mom probably just

1108
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:22,320
Speaker 2: can't face the fact that it's like she kind of

1109
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 2: ruined her kid.

1110
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:25,279
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, doesn't want to own up to that.

1111
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 6: And in said it's like.

1112
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:28,279
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, he had a seizure two years ago, so

1113
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 2: he's fully incapable of taking care of himself.

1114
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 6: Whatever.

1115
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with me or my kid, Like, we're

1116
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:34,920
Speaker 2: just doing the things we have to do, just like

1117
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:36,080
Speaker 2: coping mechanism.

1118
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:38,880
Speaker 5: Well, and now it's been like what a few years

1119
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:43,040
Speaker 5: since he's had one, like because I know, like there's

1120
00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:44,240
Speaker 5: like different laws and everything.

1121
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 6: No, he's doing fraud he's one. There's one hundred percent

1122
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:48,239
Speaker 6: fraudulent disability or something.

1123
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:52,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's whatever, He's doing whatever he needs to do.

1124
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 6: As long as he can get that, he's gonna get it.

1125
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:57,239
Speaker 5: Oh for sure. Yeah he's gonna melk the Sitchan for

1126
00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:57,759
Speaker 5: all it has.

1127
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:03,000
Speaker 2: Anyway, we asked the kids how they feel about seeing

1128
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 2: their grandma. Cc is not a fan, preferring her mama

1129
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 2: and paul Pa my wife's parents. My son doesn't mind

1130
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:14,760
Speaker 2: my mom, but describes Golden Boy as stinky, boring, and loud.

1131
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:18,080
Speaker 2: We all agreed to keep both of them away, no

1132
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 2: low contact or no contact entirely. Wife is fully on

1133
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,840
Speaker 2: board with keeping Golden Boy away. Even if his attitude

1134
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 2: was different. He would need assisted living, especially over the summer.

1135
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:34,080
Speaker 2: She's found a few facilities that accommodate epileptic adults as

1136
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:36,600
Speaker 2: young as thirty five in my hometown. And there's this

1137
00:52:36,719 --> 00:52:39,839
Speaker 2: second update. Now this guy full blown. If he's playing

1138
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:43,080
Speaker 2: video games all day and he has epilepsy, that's insane,

1139
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:47,799
Speaker 2: Like I just don't believe he has. I don't know,

1140
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:51,399
Speaker 2: that's crazy. Still low contact with mom and Golden Boy.

1141
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:55,920
Speaker 2: Birthday call from Mom requesting money that blocked her. She

1142
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:59,200
Speaker 2: didn't ask about CC. Diana and I agree, Golden Boy

1143
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,960
Speaker 2: is either going to end up and assisted living or prison.

1144
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:05,279
Speaker 6: Either way, he'll get the care he needs. And that

1145
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:06,440
Speaker 6: is the end of that story.

1146
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 5: Wow, so they just come in their lives.

1147
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:12,800
Speaker 6: No, he's truly not your problem, not your issue. Honestly.

1148
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:16,759
Speaker 2: I after he just let my child cry for an

1149
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:19,239
Speaker 2: hour and did nothing, that would have been the moment

1150
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 2: I was like, all right, you're like no longer functionally

1151
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:24,120
Speaker 2: like my brother or someone I trust or care about

1152
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:24,480
Speaker 2: at all.

1153
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:25,720
Speaker 6: Because that's crazy.

1154
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:27,280
Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story.

1155
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 1: We're going to go to the next one.

1156
00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:33,200
Speaker 6: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here, and we're

1157
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:35,000
Speaker 6: going to get back to the stories. But here's three

1158
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,080
Speaker 6: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1159
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:39,680
Speaker 5: I'm accused of ruiny my sister in Lost Life just

1160
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 5: because I refuse to babysit every day.

1161
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 6: That was your job. You signed up for that.

1162
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:48,439
Speaker 5: I female twenty seven, have a younger brother, James, who's

1163
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:52,160
Speaker 5: twenty five. James and his girlfriend, Sarah, female twenty seven,

1164
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 5: have a two year old and a seven month old,

1165
00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:58,440
Speaker 5: whereas I am single and child free by choice. We

1166
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:01,080
Speaker 5: only live about five minutes apart and have always been

1167
00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 5: very close. I helped them out with the kids pretty

1168
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,759
Speaker 5: often ever since their oldest was born. I babysit at

1169
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:09,840
Speaker 5: least one night a week, recently more so that James

1170
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 5: and Sarah can have a night off. By the way,

1171
00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 5: this comes from feedback Forsaken one zero zero nine And

1172
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:18,239
Speaker 5: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1173
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:21,120
Speaker 5: the Orange slash Okay Storytime Subredd and I'm Savannah.

1174
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:22,959
Speaker 6: I'm Dakota and where he had.

1175
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:24,799
Speaker 5: To give some good advice goofy. But we don't have

1176
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:26,719
Speaker 5: all the answers. We don only tell you what we

1177
00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:28,840
Speaker 5: would do in this situation. So let us know what

1178
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:33,040
Speaker 5: you would do in the commons. As Opie says, I

1179
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 5: agreed because I love both of them as well as

1180
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 5: their kids, and I know they've both been having a

1181
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 5: rough go. Since the youngest was born, Sarah has been

1182
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:44,800
Speaker 5: going through pretty severe postpartum depression. It took the first

1183
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 5: three months for her to realize and admit that she

1184
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:50,360
Speaker 5: wasn't doing okay and needed more help. That's when I

1185
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:54,080
Speaker 5: started helping out significantly more. When Sarah and I hang

1186
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:56,440
Speaker 5: out now it mostly consists of ME going to their

1187
00:54:56,480 --> 00:54:58,719
Speaker 5: place to help her clean, cook, and take care of

1188
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:02,960
Speaker 5: the kids, so base sickly babysitting, but with Sarah there too.

1189
00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:06,239
Speaker 5: James has mentioned how hard it's been on the relationship

1190
00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:08,400
Speaker 5: between the two of them because he really wants to

1191
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:11,400
Speaker 5: help her but doesn't know how. He has a pretty

1192
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:13,479
Speaker 5: good dad and helps when he's home, but he works

1193
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:16,319
Speaker 5: at least sixty hours a week, if not more, so

1194
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:18,840
Speaker 5: most of the time everything falls to Sarah, who's a

1195
00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:21,840
Speaker 5: stay at home mom. Anyway, I love the kids and

1196
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 5: I'm glad I can help out, but it's getting to

1197
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:26,799
Speaker 5: be too much for me now. Sarah brings the kids

1198
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 5: over to my house usually three nights a week, and

1199
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 5: I go over to hers one or two nights. Obviously,

1200
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:34,479
Speaker 5: I understand it's a lot harder on them, but they're

1201
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:37,239
Speaker 5: the parents. James could work less and they'd still be

1202
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 5: more than okay financially, and my mom offered to help

1203
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:43,400
Speaker 5: them any time they need. The reason they've refused is

1204
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:45,400
Speaker 5: because Sarah doesn't feel close enough to the rest of

1205
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:48,640
Speaker 5: our family to be honest about her postpartum or to

1206
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:51,279
Speaker 5: accept help from them, and James doesn't want to hear

1207
00:55:51,320 --> 00:55:54,200
Speaker 5: that I told you so from our mom.

1208
00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:57,680
Speaker 2: Okay, well, guess what. You gotta suck that up. You

1209
00:55:57,760 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 2: gotta suck that all the way, all way up.

1210
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:03,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, because it's now it's only falling on these people.

1211
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 6: You're literally five days a week. You've turned ope to

1212
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:07,440
Speaker 6: the babysitter.

1213
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:11,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, and even if it's two times at your place,

1214
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:15,920
Speaker 2: it's like, still, that's a ton. Let op is building

1215
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:18,480
Speaker 2: their life. Let your mom, let your mom be grandma.

1216
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:21,120
Speaker 2: Let your mom be grandma and help. Yeah, if there's

1217
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 2: not any real reasons other than oh, yeah, she might

1218
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 2: be a little annoying, like come on, yeah.

1219
00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:30,479
Speaker 5: They've only accepted my help because Sarah is my best

1220
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:32,560
Speaker 5: friend and she would have told me about everything, whether

1221
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:36,040
Speaker 5: James was involved or not. Yesterday I mentioned to Sarah

1222
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:38,360
Speaker 5: that three days a week is definitely my maximum, and

1223
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:41,720
Speaker 5: I can't continue doing three days every week. It probably

1224
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:44,080
Speaker 5: sounds stupid to many people, but I'm child free for

1225
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:46,360
Speaker 5: a reason and didn't plan on taking care of a

1226
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:48,920
Speaker 5: baby three days a week for the last two months.

1227
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 6: Literally doesn't sound stupid at all.

1228
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:54,359
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, it doesn't sound stupid. It's so much work.

1229
00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:56,759
Speaker 6: Sorry if I sound stupid, but I don't think I

1230
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:59,319
Speaker 6: want to commit three days of the week every life,

1231
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:01,880
Speaker 6: three days of life, three days of the week for

1232
00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 6: the rest of my life to raise your kids that

1233
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:05,319
Speaker 6: aren't mine. I can't do this forever.

1234
00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:07,759
Speaker 5: Especially since I do have a full time job of

1235
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:11,399
Speaker 5: my own. Sarah said, totally understandable, and I appreciate any

1236
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 5: days off. I really didn't think anything of it. We

1237
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:16,760
Speaker 5: hung out for a few more hours than I went home.

1238
00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:19,840
Speaker 5: About two hours later, I got a call from James

1239
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:23,480
Speaker 5: freaking out and screaming at me, He screamed, I can't

1240
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:26,280
Speaker 5: believe you'd say that to Sarah. You, of all people,

1241
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:28,680
Speaker 5: know how fragile she is right now, so it's really

1242
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:31,680
Speaker 5: unfair of you to make her feel guilty when asked

1243
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:34,040
Speaker 5: to spend time with your nieces. I.

1244
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:38,400
Speaker 6: Ah, you can't pull the ask to spend time with

1245
00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:40,480
Speaker 6: your nieces. That's not what you're asking.

1246
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:43,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not asking to just come over and hang

1247
00:57:43,880 --> 00:57:45,800
Speaker 2: out see your nieces every once in a while.

1248
00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like, fully take care of our children for us. Yeah.

1249
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 5: I was shocked. I asked him what he was talking

1250
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:56,000
Speaker 5: about and if he'd lost his mind. He said Sarah

1251
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:57,840
Speaker 5: told him what I'd said, and that I was just

1252
00:57:57,880 --> 00:58:00,800
Speaker 5: trying to guilt trip her into never asking for help again.

1253
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:04,200
Speaker 5: I told him that wasn't my intention at all. I

1254
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:05,960
Speaker 5: just wanted to make them aware that I couldn't be

1255
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 5: watching the kids this much in the long term. I'd

1256
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:11,720
Speaker 5: planned on telling James the same. It just happened to

1257
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:14,439
Speaker 5: come up when Sarah and I were talking. I asked

1258
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:17,120
Speaker 5: him why he couldn't work a bit less or just

1259
00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 5: swallow his pride and ask mom for help. He said

1260
00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:23,240
Speaker 5: his girlfriend being depressed wasn't a good enough reason to

1261
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:26,040
Speaker 5: ask for fewer hours, and it would hurt his chances

1262
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:29,600
Speaker 5: at a promotion. He wouldn't ask Mom because she told

1263
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:32,120
Speaker 5: him when Sarah first got pregnant that he wasn't ready

1264
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:35,120
Speaker 5: responsible or mature enough to be a father, and he

1265
00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:38,000
Speaker 5: wouldn't prove her right by asking for help. I told him,

1266
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:40,160
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, but there's a reason I don't have kids

1267
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:43,800
Speaker 5: of my own. I'm not interested in parenting. I also

1268
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:46,760
Speaker 5: clarified that I wasn't telling them i'd never baby said,

1269
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:49,280
Speaker 5: just that I could not continue doing it so frequently

1270
00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:53,000
Speaker 5: because I'm burnt out. James was still very upset, continuously

1271
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:55,560
Speaker 5: calling me selfish and saying I should be grateful to

1272
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:57,800
Speaker 5: have this opportunity to spend time with his kids, since

1273
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 5: I'll never find a man to truly love me enough

1274
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:02,400
Speaker 5: to even want kids with me.

1275
00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 2: Wow, dude, not how you talk to someone you're trying

1276
00:59:06,240 --> 00:59:09,040
Speaker 2: to get you to do a solid.

1277
00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:12,600
Speaker 5: I can't the like. I feel like that happens like

1278
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:16,080
Speaker 5: nine times out of ten. Like people they like they

1279
00:59:16,080 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 5: want you to do something and then they end up

1280
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 5: like insulting you and then hoping that you'll still do it.

1281
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:24,920
Speaker 5: And it's like now, I won I hate you, and

1282
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:27,640
Speaker 5: two shut up. I'm not doing anything for you ever.

1283
00:59:27,680 --> 00:59:31,600
Speaker 2: Again, it's the crazy vibe coming at someone like, yeah,

1284
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:35,240
Speaker 2: well you're just so like broken and ugly and disgusting.

1285
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:36,720
Speaker 2: No one will ever want to have a family with

1286
00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:38,880
Speaker 2: you anyway. So this is really your only shot of

1287
00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:42,360
Speaker 2: pretending to have children that you don't want. By the

1288
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 2: way that Opie has said, I don't even want this.

1289
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:48,240
Speaker 5: Yeah. Also, watch my kids for three days.

1290
00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 2: And they never and they didn't say they were gonna stop.

1291
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:53,320
Speaker 2: They just said I'm not doing three days ago.

1292
00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:56,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, It's like I just you know, and it's.

1293
00:59:56,560 --> 00:59:59,280
Speaker 6: Hard at this act of this reaction, I'm going down

1294
00:59:59,320 --> 00:59:59,720
Speaker 6: to zero.

1295
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:03,160
Speaker 2: After this reaction, I'd be like, well, I was ready

1296
01:00:03,160 --> 01:00:05,280
Speaker 2: to still do like maybe once or twice a week,

1297
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:09,360
Speaker 2: you know, when as needed. But like, after this reaction,

1298
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:11,400
Speaker 2: I think you just need to find full time childcare.

1299
01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:14,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, because I'm not going to help you, because it's.

1300
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:17,760
Speaker 5: Not like Opie, like you know, obviously they want to

1301
01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:20,120
Speaker 5: help out. Ohpi, he's helping out as much as she can,

1302
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:23,640
Speaker 5: but also she has her life, Like why does her

1303
01:00:23,840 --> 01:00:25,640
Speaker 5: her life need to be on hold because you had

1304
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:28,200
Speaker 5: children and can't take care of them like, it's just

1305
01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:32,800
Speaker 5: that that doesn't make sense some things not computing This

1306
01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:35,560
Speaker 5: especially hurt because I've had a lot of issues with

1307
01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:39,640
Speaker 5: romantic relationships and a lot of insecurity about feeling unlovable,

1308
01:00:39,680 --> 01:00:44,240
Speaker 5: which he's aware of. James very frequently says life's about choices.

1309
01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:47,520
Speaker 5: You've got to think them through when anyone, especially me,

1310
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 5: talks events about frustrations in life, like relationships or job issues.

1311
01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:55,160
Speaker 5: So I was so frustrated and upset that I decided

1312
01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:57,760
Speaker 5: to throw it back at him. I told him life's

1313
01:00:57,760 --> 01:01:00,280
Speaker 5: about choices. It's not my problem that you didn't thinks

1314
01:01:00,320 --> 01:01:01,800
Speaker 5: all the way through, then hung up.

1315
01:01:03,280 --> 01:01:05,800
Speaker 6: Oh he honestly props to you, delicious.

1316
01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:08,120
Speaker 5: It has now been a week since I've heard from

1317
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:10,640
Speaker 5: either of them. My mother and sister have told me

1318
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:12,760
Speaker 5: I'm in the wrong because I don't have kids of

1319
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:15,720
Speaker 5: my own, so there's no reason I can't watch my nieces.

1320
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:19,439
Speaker 5: I'm just so frustrated and confused. I really didn't think

1321
01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:22,880
Speaker 5: this would become such a huge problem. I do feel

1322
01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:25,000
Speaker 5: a bit bad about how harsh I was, but I

1323
01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 5: also don't think what I said is entirely wrong, and

1324
01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:31,080
Speaker 5: what James said really aren't me He should have known

1325
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:33,400
Speaker 5: that work in the amount that he does would be

1326
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:36,000
Speaker 5: a problem with two kids, and thoughts of other options

1327
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:38,480
Speaker 5: besides just relying on me all the time? Am I

1328
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:41,600
Speaker 5: the a hole? There is an edit. Thank you all

1329
01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:44,560
Speaker 5: for your replies. I do appreciate the outside perspective. I'd

1330
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:46,440
Speaker 5: like to answer and clarify some things I've seen in

1331
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:47,240
Speaker 5: the comments.

1332
01:01:46,920 --> 01:01:48,000
Speaker 6: And give a mini update.

1333
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:52,040
Speaker 5: Where is Sarah's family in this? Unfortunately, her family is

1334
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,960
Speaker 5: pretty awful and harmful, so she has no contact with them.

1335
01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:57,600
Speaker 5: I don't think they even know she has kids.

1336
01:01:57,760 --> 01:01:59,800
Speaker 6: Oh wow, Oh yeah, that's a bad fan.

1337
01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:04,440
Speaker 5: Yeah. Why don't my mom and sister volunteer their own help? Mom,

1338
01:02:04,600 --> 01:02:07,520
Speaker 5: just like James, is incredibly stubborn, so she says she

1339
01:02:07,560 --> 01:02:09,560
Speaker 5: will not offer help on her own. They have to

1340
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:12,360
Speaker 5: ask her for it. Sister does have a full time job,

1341
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:14,200
Speaker 5: a kid of her own, plus she lives about an

1342
01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:17,000
Speaker 5: hour away. A few comments mentioned that my sister and

1343
01:02:17,120 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 5: mom think less of me because I chose to be

1344
01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:24,760
Speaker 5: child free. That is absolutely correct. I've known for as

1345
01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:26,600
Speaker 5: long as I can recall that I have no interest

1346
01:02:26,600 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 5: in being a mother, and have been told, especially by

1347
01:02:29,440 --> 01:02:31,560
Speaker 5: my mother, that even if I were to find a man,

1348
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:35,240
Speaker 5: I'll never know a truly pure love if I don't

1349
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:39,200
Speaker 5: have kids. She definitely thinks it's a selfish choice, which

1350
01:02:39,400 --> 01:02:42,080
Speaker 5: I just can't comprehend. But it's a battle I've chosen

1351
01:02:42,120 --> 01:02:44,440
Speaker 5: to ignore. Why have I let things get to this

1352
01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:47,040
Speaker 5: level with them? I truly was just trying to help

1353
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:50,080
Speaker 5: because I love them both and my nieces. I had

1354
01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:52,480
Speaker 5: no clue this would become such a big issue. I

1355
01:02:52,520 --> 01:02:54,320
Speaker 5: just wanted to set a boundary and had no clue

1356
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:56,919
Speaker 5: would backfire like this. Why don't I tell my mother

1357
01:02:56,960 --> 01:03:01,640
Speaker 5: about Sarah's PPD, I really don't. That's my place. I've

1358
01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 5: had many mental health issues of my own. In the

1359
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:06,320
Speaker 5: first few times I told Mom, she was less than

1360
01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:09,240
Speaker 5: helpful or supportive. I did tell her what James said

1361
01:03:09,280 --> 01:03:11,280
Speaker 5: to me, and she agreed that it was uncalled for.

1362
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:14,240
Speaker 5: I also explained the details of the situation. It turns

1363
01:03:14,240 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 5: out when James went whining to her, he left out

1364
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:21,160
Speaker 5: a lot that makes sense. Why don't they hire a sitter?

1365
01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:24,439
Speaker 5: James refuses because Sarah is a stay at home mom,

1366
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:26,560
Speaker 5: and he thinks there is no reason she shouldn't be

1367
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 5: able to do the things needed. Sarah's unwilling because when

1368
01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:33,000
Speaker 5: their oldest was about six months and she was ready

1369
01:03:33,040 --> 01:03:35,480
Speaker 5: to go back to work. They did hire nanny, which

1370
01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:38,480
Speaker 5: lasted about one week before they discovered she was very neglectful.

1371
01:03:38,760 --> 01:03:40,400
Speaker 5: That's when Sarah chose to quit her job.

1372
01:03:41,200 --> 01:03:45,160
Speaker 6: Got dow what's best for the actual children that aren't yours?

1373
01:03:45,320 --> 01:03:45,520
Speaker 6: You know?

1374
01:03:46,680 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, whatever, I think that, Op. You're living your life

1375
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:52,520
Speaker 5: and you deserve to live it the way that you want.

1376
01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:55,640
Speaker 5: You chose the life that you're living. You like, just

1377
01:03:55,720 --> 01:03:58,800
Speaker 5: how your brother is saying, like, you know, your choice's

1378
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:02,240
Speaker 5: lead to know your life or something like that, like, yeah,

1379
01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:05,600
Speaker 5: these are the choices that I made, and so you

1380
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:08,200
Speaker 5: also have to respect that. Like, just because they're not

1381
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:10,840
Speaker 5: the choices that you maybe want me to make, that

1382
01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:13,439
Speaker 5: doesn't give them less like significance.

1383
01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:16,120
Speaker 2: Right. The thing that's best for the kids is probably

1384
01:04:16,120 --> 01:04:19,760
Speaker 2: to have their parents more actively in their lives, as

1385
01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:22,680
Speaker 2: well as not having someone who's just getting burnt out

1386
01:04:22,760 --> 01:04:25,280
Speaker 2: and doesn't want to take care of the kids anyway.

1387
01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:28,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, take care of your kids all week, but whatever.

1388
01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:32,080
Speaker 5: It's just there's there's a lot of different solutions here,

1389
01:04:32,120 --> 01:04:35,040
Speaker 5: and they're just choosing to just blame it on Op

1390
01:04:35,840 --> 01:04:40,800
Speaker 5: because they don't want to accept that they couldn't handle it,

1391
01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:45,280
Speaker 5: that they can't do this, which I I get it.

1392
01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:45,840
Speaker 5: It's hard.

1393
01:04:46,400 --> 01:04:47,840
Speaker 7: It's hard, but like.

1394
01:04:48,360 --> 01:04:50,840
Speaker 5: You can't just blame it on other people who literally

1395
01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:52,480
Speaker 5: had nothing to do with the birth.

1396
01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:53,920
Speaker 6: Of your child. Blame it on the goose.

1397
01:04:55,680 --> 01:04:59,200
Speaker 5: Update number two. I did learn today that both my

1398
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:01,720
Speaker 5: mother and James were we're actually unaware of how frequently

1399
01:05:01,760 --> 01:05:04,720
Speaker 5: I was watching the kids. Sarah said I was only

1400
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:06,960
Speaker 5: helping about one or two days a week, most of

1401
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,960
Speaker 5: the time, with an occasional evening. She did not inform

1402
01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:13,080
Speaker 5: them of the amount she drops them off at my house,

1403
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 5: which is usually mid afternoon two or three pm. James

1404
01:05:16,400 --> 01:05:19,360
Speaker 5: doesn't get home from work until seven pm most nights,

1405
01:05:19,360 --> 01:05:21,560
Speaker 5: and Sarah usually picks them up by six, so I

1406
01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:24,960
Speaker 5: guess that makes sense that he really didn't know. I

1407
01:05:25,040 --> 01:05:28,120
Speaker 5: honestly just didn't even consider that possibility. I spoke with

1408
01:05:28,160 --> 01:05:31,280
Speaker 5: Sarah today and she was very apologetic. She explained that

1409
01:05:31,320 --> 01:05:33,880
Speaker 5: she was embarrassed because she doesn't work and feels like

1410
01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:36,560
Speaker 5: she has no reason to ask for outside help. I

1411
01:05:36,600 --> 01:05:38,800
Speaker 5: told her I could understand that feeling, but it doesn't

1412
01:05:38,840 --> 01:05:41,680
Speaker 5: make things okay, and she absolutely needs to get into

1413
01:05:41,760 --> 01:05:45,320
Speaker 5: therapy like yesterday she said she did book an appointment

1414
01:05:45,360 --> 01:05:46,720
Speaker 5: for herself for next week.

1415
01:05:47,400 --> 01:05:50,600
Speaker 2: Okay, good. We ended in a really good place there.

1416
01:05:51,280 --> 01:05:54,320
Speaker 2: Turns out there was a fib involved. There was some

1417
01:05:54,400 --> 01:05:57,840
Speaker 2: fibbing involved, and that was why people were so out

1418
01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:00,440
Speaker 2: of order. But I would still need to have a

1419
01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:03,360
Speaker 2: conversation with James about being like, Hey, so you said

1420
01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:06,800
Speaker 2: all that stuff about me. What the what the heck

1421
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:08,200
Speaker 2: is wrong with you for that?

1422
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:12,720
Speaker 5: So because you can't take care of your wife and

1423
01:06:12,920 --> 01:06:16,200
Speaker 5: your kids, I get blamed and you can say crappy

1424
01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:19,360
Speaker 5: things to me. That's nice of you as a brother.

1425
01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:22,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks, Why why are you talking to me like that?

1426
01:06:22,640 --> 01:06:23,320
Speaker 2: Get out of here.

1427
01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:27,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, I would still bring that up because I feel

1428
01:06:27,040 --> 01:06:30,000
Speaker 5: like that's that's a whole, entirely different issue that he

1429
01:06:30,040 --> 01:06:31,440
Speaker 5: thinks that he can speak to you like that and

1430
01:06:31,480 --> 01:06:34,320
Speaker 5: he can't. He has no no authority to do that.

1431
01:06:34,360 --> 01:06:36,240
Speaker 6: I need I needed James apology.

1432
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:38,400
Speaker 5: I needed James pology.

1433
01:06:39,480 --> 01:06:40,800
Speaker 7: And that's the end of this story.