Speaker 1: Hey there, folks, it is Saturday, January seventeenth. Got a
Speaker 1: date tonight? Neo doesn't need one with that. Welcome to
Speaker 1: this episode of Amy and TJ. Look, bro, this has
Speaker 1: been talked about a little bit and love relationships look
Speaker 1: different for a lot of people. But for long time
Speaker 1: now pop an R and B singer Neo, people have
Speaker 1: been fascinated by the fact that he lives and is
Speaker 1: in a relationship with three women and they all live
Speaker 1: under one roof and he's talking about it now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and a year ago, I think is when this
Speaker 2: first came out, but he actually had four back then
Speaker 2: four girlfriends are down to three. He calls them his pyramid,
Speaker 2: and it seems like if you look at his Instagram
Speaker 2: and if you listen to the recent interview he just gave,
Speaker 2: it's working for him. And people are fascinating because, as
Speaker 2: many of us know, it's hard enough to just have
Speaker 2: one significant other and make that relationship work.
Speaker 3: How are you managing three.
Speaker 2: At one time and everybody knows about each other. It's
Speaker 2: just it's kind of head scratching, but it's kind of impressive, but.
Speaker 1: It's just not traditional. Is that simply what it is?
Speaker 1: Anytime there is a relationship or something that goes against
Speaker 1: whatever grain or whatever we have in our minds. A
Speaker 1: relationship is supposed to look like. We question it, sometimes
Speaker 1: we criticize it, but this certainly is a little outside
Speaker 1: of what we would consider normal.
Speaker 2: Well it's also if they were to want to get married,
Speaker 2: it would be illegal. So I think a lot of
Speaker 2: people look at it as a moral or they look
Speaker 2: at it not just as different or unique, but as
Speaker 2: wrong or sinful. So you know, there are a lot
Speaker 2: of people who look at his polyamorous relationship as he's wrong.
Speaker 2: And so he's trying to I think, just don't I
Speaker 2: know everyone uses this word over uses this word normalize it.
Speaker 2: But I do think he's just saying, hey, we're happy.
Speaker 3: Why do you all care?
Speaker 1: There's why I am. He doesn't need to normalize anything.
Speaker 1: If this works for you and this works for them,
Speaker 1: knock yourself out. I always you've not hurt yourself and
Speaker 1: hurting somebody else, then who am I? But I think
Speaker 1: you're right. A lot of it is judgment, But yes,
Speaker 1: he went it was this week right. The interview this
Speaker 1: week was Sherry Shepherd, and he did. He spoke on
Speaker 1: it and said a lot of things that jumped out,
Speaker 1: and certainly that made headlines.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think it's interesting because he made it
Speaker 2: very clear. He said he has three girlfriends, but he
Speaker 2: has one relationship.
Speaker 3: That kind of was.
Speaker 2: It took a second for me to get my head
Speaker 2: around that. Wait, Okay, you have three girlfriends, but you
Speaker 2: have one relationship. So it's basically what's good for one
Speaker 2: is good for all. It's a little confusing. He did
Speaker 2: get into the details, but he wanted to make that
Speaker 2: very clear.
Speaker 1: Well, is this a matter where one family is what
Speaker 1: he's saying.
Speaker 3: Kind of yes.
Speaker 2: I mean, he did describe them as having group dates,
Speaker 2: that they all get there one on one time, but
Speaker 2: that it is the collective that is the relationship, and
Speaker 2: how the women get along with each other is just
Speaker 2: as important as how he gets along with each of
Speaker 2: them individually.
Speaker 1: What was the show, Big Love, Big Love?
Speaker 2: And then of course you have you know, plenty of
Speaker 2: this in the more fundamentalist Mormon sex in the country.
Speaker 2: But yeah, a lot of people, I shouldn't say a
Speaker 2: lot of people, but there are a number of people,
Speaker 2: for either religious reasons or whatever reason, choose this lifestyle.
Speaker 1: And I guess at this point we kind of just
Speaker 1: moving beyond, but just assuming everybody knows who Neo is.
Speaker 1: But this dude has been around for a couple of
Speaker 1: decades now doing his thing on the R and B
Speaker 1: charge misindependent, I think is a song.
Speaker 3: That a lot of people love.
Speaker 1: What was the one he has with Pitt Bull is
Speaker 1: will give Me Everything Tonight?
Speaker 2: That's him, forty six years old, been around, Mammy winning singers,
Speaker 2: songwriter and produced Neo.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 2: I just thought everyone knew him, But you're right, maybe
Speaker 2: everyone doesn't. But I feel like if you google him
Speaker 2: even you know his face and you definitely know his music.
Speaker 2: If you go look on Spotify or wherever you get
Speaker 2: your music, put up Neo, You're.
Speaker 3: Gonna be like, oh that song, Oh that song?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I thought it was really interesting.
Speaker 2: A lot of people obviously want to know how it works,
Speaker 2: and that was a lot of the questions from Sherry Shepherd,
Speaker 2: and my interest was how does that work? But I
Speaker 2: thought it was interesting when he described when he decided
Speaker 2: to do this and why he decided to do this.
Speaker 2: He had been married for seven years and when he
Speaker 2: went through this divorce and it was a very public
Speaker 2: he called it a very public, ugly divorce, He said
Speaker 2: that he made a decision to live a more open
Speaker 2: and honest life, and so he was dating three different
Speaker 2: women after his divorce, and he decided that he wanted
Speaker 2: to first make amends about what went wrong in his
Speaker 2: marriage and then go forward in a very transparent way
Speaker 2: in terms of how he dates.
Speaker 3: I thought that was cool, he said.
Speaker 2: He said, I made the decision I was never going
Speaker 2: to tell another lie to a woman ever again in life.
Speaker 2: I own the thing that I did in that marriage
Speaker 2: to mess it up. I own it completely. And I
Speaker 2: decided I didn't want to be the reason that anybody
Speaker 2: ever felt like that ever again.
Speaker 3: What do you think about that?
Speaker 1: Well, I that's fine, right, But a decision has been
Speaker 1: you can make a decision to stay single and date
Speaker 1: folks if you want to to find three people, three
Speaker 1: women that you happen to be dating at the same time,
Speaker 1: all who are on board with this seems wild to me.
Speaker 1: I don't think there's a high percentage of women who
Speaker 1: would say sure to something like this. So how he
Speaker 1: pulled that off is of interest.
Speaker 2: So okay, So he described it because Sherry Shepherd had
Speaker 2: a lot of questions.
Speaker 3: She was great.
Speaker 2: We love Sherry she asked all the right questions. She
Speaker 2: asked all the questions that I was thinking as I
Speaker 2: was watching this.
Speaker 3: But yeah, he was dating free women as people do
Speaker 3: when they're single. They have their dating different folks.
Speaker 2: And he explained that one of the three women he
Speaker 2: had been dating longer than the others, enough so that
Speaker 2: he actually decided to go to her first with this concept,
Speaker 2: this polyamorous concept. And he said this is this is
Speaker 2: his verbatim. I basically went to her and said, listen,
Speaker 2: you know I rock with you. You know I love you,
Speaker 2: but I have to be honest with you. It's not
Speaker 2: just you. I would love for you to meet these
Speaker 2: other women and if we can figure out a way
Speaker 2: to do something together, cool. If not, that's cool too.
Speaker 1: Take it or leave it. Yeah, and they decided to
Speaker 1: take it.
Speaker 3: So that's what he said.
Speaker 2: He said he let each woman decide if they wanted
Speaker 2: to proceed together. His quote, everybody chose to stick around.
Speaker 2: The main understanding is I'm not in three relationships. I'm
Speaker 2: in one relationship with three people. And the women were
Speaker 2: all on board with that concept.
Speaker 1: If it works for them. I'm fascinated, I am curious.
Speaker 1: I have questions, I have all this stuff. But if
Speaker 1: something works for them, it works for them. We've just
Speaker 1: been around long enough to know to see. And it's
Speaker 1: sometimes experience. It's folks lives and what they're going through
Speaker 1: and how they're going through, how they choose to go through,
Speaker 1: and what they can tolerate, and what they want and
Speaker 1: what fulfills. It's all different, and if this works, knock
Speaker 1: yourself out.
Speaker 2: The older I get, the more experience I've had in life,
Speaker 2: the less judgmental I've become, period when it comes to relationships. Look,
Speaker 2: when I was younger, I absolutely believed things I was.
Speaker 2: I had a very different approach to what I thought
Speaker 2: was the right thing or the wrong thing, what should happen,
Speaker 2: what shouldn't happen. And once you live enough life you
Speaker 2: realize what works for you doesn't necessarily work for someone else.
Speaker 2: And who are you to impose that on someone else.
Speaker 2: No one's being hurt in this. Everyone is a consenting adult.
Speaker 2: Everyone has made the decision. And I think there is
Speaker 2: at least some I.
Speaker 3: Think not some. I think there's a lot to say
Speaker 3: about being honest.
Speaker 2: If you know you're not going to be monogamous, if
Speaker 2: you know that you're not going to be okay or
Speaker 2: satisfied with just one person.
Speaker 3: It's far better to be honest about.
Speaker 2: It than to try and pretend that you're or even
Speaker 2: convince yourself that you're going to do something different.
Speaker 1: But someone who would come these conversations, whether it's a
Speaker 1: man or a woman. At some point you have a
Speaker 1: conversation with someone and say, hey, I'm seeing other people,
Speaker 1: I'm dating someone else. Yeah, maybe we should all form
Speaker 1: a group. Is not usually the next thing.
Speaker 2: I mean here, look, I say all that, if you
Speaker 2: came to me with that bit of information, or anyone
Speaker 2: I was dating came to me with that information, I.
Speaker 3: Know very quickly that I would be like you do
Speaker 3: you I'm out? I mean, obviously hear.
Speaker 1: Me out, never be just hear me out. It's all
Speaker 1: I ask.
Speaker 2: And I would hear you out, and then I would say,
Speaker 2: that's so cool for you, But I want nothing to
Speaker 2: do with it. There's zero chance, no, there's zero chance
Speaker 2: that I could handle that from It's just not what
Speaker 2: I want.
Speaker 1: It's not what I want, and it's probably not what
Speaker 1: most people want. But if that's what he wants, if
Speaker 1: that if it's what they want, fine, do you know
Speaker 1: the ages of the women.
Speaker 2: You know what, I don't. I know he's forty six.
Speaker 2: I could probably find that out after the break. But
Speaker 2: he makes a very point, big point to say, we
Speaker 2: it's about communication. We figure out ways to make everything work.
Speaker 2: He said, each of his women gets their individual time,
Speaker 2: even though group time is just as important. He was
Speaker 2: talking about being on tour and he was like, you know,
Speaker 2: one woman will come out for seven days, then the
Speaker 2: next woman will come out, then the next woman will
Speaker 2: come out, and then the next week I'll have all
Speaker 2: of them come out together. But I just I'm just thinking,
Speaker 2: like if you want on those group dates, like what
Speaker 2: is that? Like?
Speaker 3: Who is he sitting next to? Who's is he holding
Speaker 3: everybody's hands?
Speaker 1: Main girl? That's a main one. Right.
Speaker 2: Well, there was the original, the og, but I don't
Speaker 2: know that she has any more. Look, when we hear
Speaker 2: some Mormon we've talked to some folks who've had polygamy
Speaker 2: or have been in polygamy situations, and they do say
Speaker 2: the original wife usually has like the authority or has
Speaker 2: a little bit of higher name.
Speaker 1: What do they call it's something?
Speaker 3: Is it first wife? Original wife?
Speaker 2: You know what, I'm not embarrassed that I don't know,
Speaker 2: I'm not really well first in this, but the way
Speaker 2: he described it, he didn't seem as though one woman
Speaker 2: even he did mention obviously the original girlfriend or the
Speaker 2: woman he had been dating the longest, he did go
Speaker 2: to her first a little bit.
Speaker 1: How does this work with the time? Do they all
Speaker 1: get equal time? How does he givie? Did he explain
Speaker 1: the schedule?
Speaker 2: Well, he gave just an like an example of going
Speaker 2: out on tour and having having everyone having their own week.
Speaker 1: So it's very important about the sleeping arrangements.
Speaker 3: I didn't get that. I just know I didn't get.
Speaker 2: So it's I'm looking for their exact age is actually
Speaker 2: right now. One of them, they said, was thirty one.
Speaker 2: But they don't know a lot about these women. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so they are grown women, Oh for sure. They're not like,
Speaker 2: you know, barely of age. No, these are women who
Speaker 2: are old enough to make decisions and have lived enough life.
Speaker 3: And you see the pictures of them, they're not some young.
Speaker 1: But they're all under one roof, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, from what I understand, they all go out together,
Speaker 2: they all hang out together. They share an Alaskan king.
Speaker 3: Bed together four.
Speaker 2: That is at least a part of their relationship that
Speaker 2: they share an Alaskan king bed. What's in Alaskin bed
Speaker 2: versus a calib I know what a California king bed is?
Speaker 2: Is an Alaskan king bed even bigger than a I've
Speaker 2: never California. E News is saying that they share an
Speaker 2: Alaskan king sized bed.
Speaker 3: In his house.
Speaker 1: The massive square mattress.
Speaker 2: It's like two California Kings next to each other. This
Speaker 2: is what Neo has explained. You have to get the
Speaker 2: mattress made, like you have to get a custom mattress made.
Speaker 1: I guess you would.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's hard enough sleeping next to one person. I
Speaker 2: think for all the different reasons. Why because we all
Speaker 2: have our own interests, so or what makes us sleep
Speaker 2: better and what wakes us up?
Speaker 1: Y'd?
Speaker 3: Can you imagine four people in one bed?
Speaker 1: See? This is where people This is where people get
Speaker 1: fascinated by the questions and the debates and poking a
Speaker 1: little fun and all these things that a couple one
Speaker 1: on one has issues with. Who's gonna cook tonight, who's
Speaker 1: taking out the trash, what is the temperature when we
Speaker 1: go to bed at night? The sheets, all these things.
Speaker 1: How do you divide out about three are women, who
Speaker 1: are you snuggling with? Who spoons? Whom? Are you all
Speaker 1: all spooning one direction and then you all turn and
Speaker 1: spoon the other direction? Is he in the middle? Who
Speaker 1: gets the remote? How does this work?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Someone doesn't get a bedside table or two people don't
Speaker 2: like That's a tough situation.
Speaker 1: You would also ask Robes about their sexual relationship. Is
Speaker 1: this is he always one on one or this is
Speaker 1: just something that they all participate.
Speaker 3: In that I don't know.
Speaker 1: Those are questions not you're fascinated by this.
Speaker 3: We need to have Neo on the show.
Speaker 2: We need to see if we can get him on
Speaker 2: and get in to all of these very important questions
Speaker 2: that we need to know now when we come back,
Speaker 2: I can tell you this. When he talked to Sherry Shepherd,
Speaker 2: she asked, how do you handle holidays like Valentine's Day?
Speaker 2: And how about this question? What are the rules for
Speaker 2: the women? Can they date other people? And welcome back everyone.
Speaker 2: We continue our conversation about the fascinating polyamorous relationship that
Speaker 2: Neo has because it's one relationship, but it's three women,
Speaker 2: and he talked about it at length with Sherry Shepard.
Speaker 2: This week and I couldn't get enough. We have so
Speaker 2: many follow ups that we would like to ask Neo.
Speaker 2: But here's what we did find out. How do you
Speaker 2: handle a holiday like Valentine's Day?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: So he said his big point is he doesn't do
Speaker 2: blanket stuff like everybody gets red roses or everybody gets chocolates.
Speaker 2: He gives individual gifts for each woman based on what
Speaker 2: they like, so that everyone feels special on the day.
Speaker 2: And he makes a point there are no group gifts.
Speaker 2: There are no everyone gets that one on one attention
Speaker 2: when it comes to the actual holiday or gift giving situation.
Speaker 2: But I imagine on the holiday itself. He I mean,
Speaker 2: he's gonna have to just one day, so I guess that's.
Speaker 3: A group date.
Speaker 2: But they talk, You talk about how group time is
Speaker 2: very important. That seems like a lot of work.
Speaker 1: It is. It is a lot of war. One relationship
Speaker 1: is difficult. I just I can't imagine managing because they're
Speaker 1: human beings, they're women, and they're just no matter what
Speaker 1: you agree to. That's three personalities, three people who need
Speaker 1: something right, they need some type of human interaction. And
Speaker 1: now are the women do they support each other? Are
Speaker 1: they all good friends, spend a lot of time.
Speaker 2: Again, Yep, he said that's a huge part of it.
Speaker 2: That they have to be that that's key to making
Speaker 2: it work. And that does make a lot of sense. Obviously,
Speaker 2: you could not have jealousy or any sort of issue
Speaker 2: going on among the women, or at least between two
Speaker 2: of the women, because that would ruin.
Speaker 1: Every What about chores, household responsibilities of people? Is it
Speaker 1: divided up? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I think they all kind of do their thing.
Speaker 2: He just talked about how they make it work, that
Speaker 2: they all talk to one another. Big question, what are
Speaker 2: the rules for the women? Can they date others? So
Speaker 2: Sherry asked him directly, Neo, can your girlfriends date other men?
Speaker 2: He quickly, and it was described as curtly, replied no, no.
Speaker 3: And here was his exact quote.
Speaker 2: I've made no request for exclusivity of any of these women.
Speaker 2: I didn't ask for them to be with me. They
Speaker 2: said they want to be with me. They gave me
Speaker 2: their exclusivity, meaning if you give it to me, it's mine.
Speaker 2: I deal with partnership as opposed to ownership. But if
Speaker 2: the exclusivity is mine, it's mine.
Speaker 3: Damn.
Speaker 1: You should have led with that.
Speaker 2: So I'm not gonna say I'm possessive, but I'm possessive.
Speaker 1: Oh he's not. He accepted what was given to him.
Speaker 2: That's exactly what he said, and I took it. I
Speaker 2: didn't demand it. I didn't say they had to. But
Speaker 2: once they gave it to me, now it's mine.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like Machado and the Nobel Prize to
Speaker 1: drum An asked for it, but you know, what, the
Speaker 1: hell with it. I'll take it, I mean, and so
Speaker 1: it's his now.
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess you're right. That is a pretty uh.
Speaker 3: But here's the deal.
Speaker 2: We hear about polyamorous relationships, you know, often enough, and
Speaker 2: people talk about it more now than they ever have before.
Speaker 2: But have you ever heard of anything like this in
Speaker 2: reverse where.
Speaker 1: A woman has It's probably going to be an episode
Speaker 1: of this next Season's all fair.
Speaker 3: Yes, I would feel like someone would end.
Speaker 1: Up dead a woman that we are. This is the
Speaker 1: best answer I have. That's just not how things work,
Speaker 1: That's all I got.
Speaker 2: No man would be willing to share his woman with
Speaker 2: another man?
Speaker 1: Is that?
Speaker 3: And why are women willing to share their man with
Speaker 3: another one?
Speaker 1: This is rare? This? Come on, this is rare. This is.
Speaker 1: I don't think you find it. I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: know a lot of women in my life that are
Speaker 1: willing to do that. But no, I'm trying to think
Speaker 1: of some trying to put some woman in this category,
Speaker 1: some hip hop singer or some R and B singer
Speaker 1: who who could have.
Speaker 3: Men like Madonna or like back in the day. But
Speaker 3: still I don't think. I don't think it would work.
Speaker 3: There's two men would not live in the same house.
Speaker 1: That was a good call. Madonna could pull it off. Damn,
Speaker 1: that's a good call.
Speaker 3: That was the only person I could think of all
Speaker 3: possibly do it. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2: And by the way, and this kind of sums up
Speaker 2: where he is when he first came out publicly, I
Speaker 2: should just say on social media and that was when
Speaker 2: he had his four girls at one point and he
Speaker 2: just said, say something nice or move on with your life.
Speaker 3: We happy over here. And so that's just kind of
Speaker 3: how he basically summed it up. We're happy. What are
Speaker 3: y'all talking about?
Speaker 1: Good for you, you know what.
Speaker 2: I would like to stay up on this though, And
Speaker 2: so he was from four to three three, but he
Speaker 2: still has the original three. I would loved it like
Speaker 2: a year from now, still still good. Like I am so.
Speaker 1: Curious, it'd be down to two or maybe up to six. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: and I love this brother. Uh yeah. Have I told
Speaker 1: you the Neo story? The night out with Neo?
Speaker 3: Wait, you might have a little Can you refresh my memory?
Speaker 1: It started at Pots and Oe in Midtown, Yes, and
Speaker 1: I was with Chuck and the three of us and
Speaker 1: we ended up out and I ended up leaving a
Speaker 1: club scared that night partying with Neo. I ran out
Speaker 1: of a VIP that gets me out of here.
Speaker 3: What was so scary?
Speaker 1: I'll tell you when we get over.
Speaker 3: Okay, because you knew I was gonna ask.
Speaker 1: But yes, I have always we're all a fan of
Speaker 1: his music. This is out of left field, you know.
Speaker 1: I hated to see what he went through because I was.
Speaker 1: We were in Atlanta at the same time, and we
Speaker 1: went through with his wife.
Speaker 3: The ugly divorce.
Speaker 2: Yes, and he had three kids with her, and I
Speaker 2: believe two kids with two other women.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean that that gets complicated.
Speaker 1: But if he's figured something out, then good for more
Speaker 1: power to him. But yes, I want to follow up.
Speaker 1: I'm curious about all types of relationships. What was the
Speaker 1: one the mixed orientation couple.
Speaker 3: You remember that they just had a baby.
Speaker 1: See, that's fascinating. We've got to follow up with him.
Speaker 1: So the point being love looks all kinds of ways
Speaker 1: and that's okay, and be curious instead of judgmental. Can't
Speaker 1: we do that first?
Speaker 2: Yes? And you know what, We've got our love story
Speaker 2: series that we're going to try to put together again
Speaker 2: for this Valentine's Day season where we talked to couples
Speaker 2: from all different walks of life, different age gaps, different
Speaker 2: religious We try to get them like old, young, long, new,
Speaker 2: all of that. But we should at some point try
Speaker 2: to get Neo and his girls on the show.
Speaker 1: We need to get some more microphones. All right, folks,
Speaker 1: this was a fun one today kind of and a
Speaker 1: fascinating one. Hope wherever you are right now, you are
Speaker 1: having a good weekend, and we'll continue to hop on
Speaker 1: as news or our moods dictate. But for my dear
Speaker 1: Amy Robot, I'm t J. Holmes. We'll talk to y'll soon, right,