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Speaker 1: Hey there, folks, it is Saturday, January seventeenth. Got a

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Speaker 1: date tonight? Neo doesn't need one with that. Welcome to

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Speaker 1: this episode of Amy and TJ. Look, bro, this has

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Speaker 1: been talked about a little bit and love relationships look

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Speaker 1: different for a lot of people. But for long time

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Speaker 1: now pop an R and B singer Neo, people have

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Speaker 1: been fascinated by the fact that he lives and is

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Speaker 1: in a relationship with three women and they all live

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Speaker 1: under one roof and he's talking about it now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and a year ago, I think is when this

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Speaker 2: first came out, but he actually had four back then

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Speaker 2: four girlfriends are down to three. He calls them his pyramid,

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Speaker 2: and it seems like if you look at his Instagram

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Speaker 2: and if you listen to the recent interview he just gave,

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Speaker 2: it's working for him. And people are fascinating because, as

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Speaker 2: many of us know, it's hard enough to just have

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Speaker 2: one significant other and make that relationship work.

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Speaker 3: How are you managing three.

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Speaker 2: At one time and everybody knows about each other. It's

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Speaker 2: just it's kind of head scratching, but it's kind of impressive, but.

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Speaker 1: It's just not traditional. Is that simply what it is?

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Speaker 1: Anytime there is a relationship or something that goes against

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Speaker 1: whatever grain or whatever we have in our minds. A

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Speaker 1: relationship is supposed to look like. We question it, sometimes

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Speaker 1: we criticize it, but this certainly is a little outside

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Speaker 1: of what we would consider normal.

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Speaker 2: Well it's also if they were to want to get married,

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Speaker 2: it would be illegal. So I think a lot of

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Speaker 2: people look at it as a moral or they look

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Speaker 2: at it not just as different or unique, but as

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Speaker 2: wrong or sinful. So you know, there are a lot

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Speaker 2: of people who look at his polyamorous relationship as he's wrong.

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Speaker 2: And so he's trying to I think, just don't I

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Speaker 2: know everyone uses this word over uses this word normalize it.

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Speaker 2: But I do think he's just saying, hey, we're happy.

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Speaker 3: Why do you all care?

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Speaker 1: There's why I am. He doesn't need to normalize anything.

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Speaker 1: If this works for you and this works for them,

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Speaker 1: knock yourself out. I always you've not hurt yourself and

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Speaker 1: hurting somebody else, then who am I? But I think

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Speaker 1: you're right. A lot of it is judgment, But yes,

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Speaker 1: he went it was this week right. The interview this

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Speaker 1: week was Sherry Shepherd, and he did. He spoke on

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Speaker 1: it and said a lot of things that jumped out,

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Speaker 1: and certainly that made headlines.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think it's interesting because he made it

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Speaker 2: very clear. He said he has three girlfriends, but he

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Speaker 2: has one relationship.

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Speaker 3: That kind of was.

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Speaker 2: It took a second for me to get my head

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Speaker 2: around that. Wait, Okay, you have three girlfriends, but you

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Speaker 2: have one relationship. So it's basically what's good for one

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Speaker 2: is good for all. It's a little confusing. He did

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Speaker 2: get into the details, but he wanted to make that

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Speaker 2: very clear.

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Speaker 1: Well, is this a matter where one family is what

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Speaker 1: he's saying.

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Speaker 3: Kind of yes.

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Speaker 2: I mean, he did describe them as having group dates,

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Speaker 2: that they all get there one on one time, but

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Speaker 2: that it is the collective that is the relationship, and

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Speaker 2: how the women get along with each other is just

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Speaker 2: as important as how he gets along with each of

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Speaker 2: them individually.

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Speaker 1: What was the show, Big Love, Big Love?

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Speaker 2: And then of course you have you know, plenty of

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Speaker 2: this in the more fundamentalist Mormon sex in the country.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, a lot of people, I shouldn't say a

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Speaker 2: lot of people, but there are a number of people,

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Speaker 2: for either religious reasons or whatever reason, choose this lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: And I guess at this point we kind of just

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Speaker 1: moving beyond, but just assuming everybody knows who Neo is.

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Speaker 1: But this dude has been around for a couple of

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Speaker 1: decades now doing his thing on the R and B

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Speaker 1: charge misindependent, I think is a song.

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Speaker 3: That a lot of people love.

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Speaker 1: What was the one he has with Pitt Bull is

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Speaker 1: will give Me Everything Tonight?

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Speaker 2: That's him, forty six years old, been around, Mammy winning singers,

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Speaker 2: songwriter and produced Neo.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 2: I just thought everyone knew him, But you're right, maybe

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Speaker 2: everyone doesn't. But I feel like if you google him

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Speaker 2: even you know his face and you definitely know his music.

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Speaker 2: If you go look on Spotify or wherever you get

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Speaker 2: your music, put up Neo, You're.

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Speaker 3: Gonna be like, oh that song, Oh that song?

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And I thought it was really interesting.

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Speaker 2: A lot of people obviously want to know how it works,

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Speaker 2: and that was a lot of the questions from Sherry Shepherd,

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Speaker 2: and my interest was how does that work? But I

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Speaker 2: thought it was interesting when he described when he decided

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Speaker 2: to do this and why he decided to do this.

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Speaker 2: He had been married for seven years and when he

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Speaker 2: went through this divorce and it was a very public

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Speaker 2: he called it a very public, ugly divorce, He said

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Speaker 2: that he made a decision to live a more open

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Speaker 2: and honest life, and so he was dating three different

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Speaker 2: women after his divorce, and he decided that he wanted

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Speaker 2: to first make amends about what went wrong in his

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Speaker 2: marriage and then go forward in a very transparent way

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Speaker 2: in terms of how he dates.

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Speaker 3: I thought that was cool, he said.

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Speaker 2: He said, I made the decision I was never going

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Speaker 2: to tell another lie to a woman ever again in life.

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Speaker 2: I own the thing that I did in that marriage

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Speaker 2: to mess it up. I own it completely. And I

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Speaker 2: decided I didn't want to be the reason that anybody

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Speaker 2: ever felt like that ever again.

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Speaker 3: What do you think about that?

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Speaker 1: Well, I that's fine, right, But a decision has been

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Speaker 1: you can make a decision to stay single and date

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Speaker 1: folks if you want to to find three people, three

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Speaker 1: women that you happen to be dating at the same time,

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Speaker 1: all who are on board with this seems wild to me.

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Speaker 1: I don't think there's a high percentage of women who

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Speaker 1: would say sure to something like this. So how he

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Speaker 1: pulled that off is of interest.

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Speaker 2: So okay, So he described it because Sherry Shepherd had

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Speaker 2: a lot of questions.

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Speaker 3: She was great.

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Speaker 2: We love Sherry she asked all the right questions. She

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Speaker 2: asked all the questions that I was thinking as I

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Speaker 2: was watching this.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, he was dating free women as people do

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Speaker 3: when they're single. They have their dating different folks.

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Speaker 2: And he explained that one of the three women he

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Speaker 2: had been dating longer than the others, enough so that

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Speaker 2: he actually decided to go to her first with this concept,

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Speaker 2: this polyamorous concept. And he said this is this is

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Speaker 2: his verbatim. I basically went to her and said, listen,

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Speaker 2: you know I rock with you. You know I love you,

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Speaker 2: but I have to be honest with you. It's not

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Speaker 2: just you. I would love for you to meet these

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Speaker 2: other women and if we can figure out a way

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Speaker 2: to do something together, cool. If not, that's cool too.

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Speaker 1: Take it or leave it. Yeah, and they decided to

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Speaker 1: take it.

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Speaker 3: So that's what he said.

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Speaker 2: He said he let each woman decide if they wanted

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Speaker 2: to proceed together. His quote, everybody chose to stick around.

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Speaker 2: The main understanding is I'm not in three relationships. I'm

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Speaker 2: in one relationship with three people. And the women were

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Speaker 2: all on board with that concept.

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Speaker 1: If it works for them. I'm fascinated, I am curious.

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Speaker 1: I have questions, I have all this stuff. But if

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Speaker 1: something works for them, it works for them. We've just

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Speaker 1: been around long enough to know to see. And it's

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Speaker 1: sometimes experience. It's folks lives and what they're going through

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Speaker 1: and how they're going through, how they choose to go through,

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Speaker 1: and what they can tolerate, and what they want and

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Speaker 1: what fulfills. It's all different, and if this works, knock

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Speaker 1: yourself out.

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Speaker 2: The older I get, the more experience I've had in life,

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Speaker 2: the less judgmental I've become, period when it comes to relationships. Look,

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Speaker 2: when I was younger, I absolutely believed things I was.

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Speaker 2: I had a very different approach to what I thought

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Speaker 2: was the right thing or the wrong thing, what should happen,

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Speaker 2: what shouldn't happen. And once you live enough life you

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Speaker 2: realize what works for you doesn't necessarily work for someone else.

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Speaker 2: And who are you to impose that on someone else.

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Speaker 2: No one's being hurt in this. Everyone is a consenting adult.

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Speaker 2: Everyone has made the decision. And I think there is

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Speaker 2: at least some I.

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Speaker 3: Think not some. I think there's a lot to say

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Speaker 3: about being honest.

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Speaker 2: If you know you're not going to be monogamous, if

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Speaker 2: you know that you're not going to be okay or

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Speaker 2: satisfied with just one person.

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Speaker 3: It's far better to be honest about.

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Speaker 2: It than to try and pretend that you're or even

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Speaker 2: convince yourself that you're going to do something different.

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Speaker 1: But someone who would come these conversations, whether it's a

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Speaker 1: man or a woman. At some point you have a

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Speaker 1: conversation with someone and say, hey, I'm seeing other people,

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Speaker 1: I'm dating someone else. Yeah, maybe we should all form

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Speaker 1: a group. Is not usually the next thing.

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Speaker 2: I mean here, look, I say all that, if you

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Speaker 2: came to me with that bit of information, or anyone

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Speaker 2: I was dating came to me with that information, I.

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Speaker 3: Know very quickly that I would be like you do

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Speaker 3: you I'm out? I mean, obviously hear.

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Speaker 1: Me out, never be just hear me out. It's all

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Speaker 1: I ask.

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Speaker 2: And I would hear you out, and then I would say,

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Speaker 2: that's so cool for you, But I want nothing to

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Speaker 2: do with it. There's zero chance, no, there's zero chance

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Speaker 2: that I could handle that from It's just not what

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Speaker 2: I want.

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Speaker 1: It's not what I want, and it's probably not what

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Speaker 1: most people want. But if that's what he wants, if

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Speaker 1: that if it's what they want, fine, do you know

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Speaker 1: the ages of the women.

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Speaker 2: You know what, I don't. I know he's forty six.

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Speaker 2: I could probably find that out after the break. But

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Speaker 2: he makes a very point, big point to say, we

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Speaker 2: it's about communication. We figure out ways to make everything work.

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Speaker 2: He said, each of his women gets their individual time,

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Speaker 2: even though group time is just as important. He was

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Speaker 2: talking about being on tour and he was like, you know,

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Speaker 2: one woman will come out for seven days, then the

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Speaker 2: next woman will come out, then the next woman will

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Speaker 2: come out, and then the next week I'll have all

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Speaker 2: of them come out together. But I just I'm just thinking,

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Speaker 2: like if you want on those group dates, like what

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Speaker 2: is that? Like?

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Speaker 3: Who is he sitting next to? Who's is he holding

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Speaker 3: everybody's hands?

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Speaker 1: Main girl? That's a main one. Right.

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Speaker 2: Well, there was the original, the og, but I don't

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Speaker 2: know that she has any more. Look, when we hear

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Speaker 2: some Mormon we've talked to some folks who've had polygamy

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Speaker 2: or have been in polygamy situations, and they do say

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Speaker 2: the original wife usually has like the authority or has

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Speaker 2: a little bit of higher name.

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Speaker 1: What do they call it's something?

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Speaker 3: Is it first wife? Original wife?

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Speaker 2: You know what, I'm not embarrassed that I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I'm not really well first in this, but the way

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Speaker 2: he described it, he didn't seem as though one woman

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Speaker 2: even he did mention obviously the original girlfriend or the

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Speaker 2: woman he had been dating the longest, he did go

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Speaker 2: to her first a little bit.

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Speaker 1: How does this work with the time? Do they all

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Speaker 1: get equal time? How does he givie? Did he explain

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Speaker 1: the schedule?

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Speaker 2: Well, he gave just an like an example of going

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Speaker 2: out on tour and having having everyone having their own week.

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Speaker 1: So it's very important about the sleeping arrangements.

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Speaker 3: I didn't get that. I just know I didn't get.

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Speaker 2: So it's I'm looking for their exact age is actually

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Speaker 2: right now. One of them, they said, was thirty one.

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Speaker 2: But they don't know a lot about these women. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so they are grown women, Oh for sure. They're not like,

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Speaker 2: you know, barely of age. No, these are women who

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Speaker 2: are old enough to make decisions and have lived enough life.

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Speaker 3: And you see the pictures of them, they're not some young.

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Speaker 1: But they're all under one roof, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, from what I understand, they all go out together,

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Speaker 2: they all hang out together. They share an Alaskan king.

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Speaker 3: Bed together four.

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Speaker 2: That is at least a part of their relationship that

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Speaker 2: they share an Alaskan king bed. What's in Alaskin bed

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Speaker 2: versus a calib I know what a California king bed is?

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Speaker 2: Is an Alaskan king bed even bigger than a I've

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Speaker 2: never California. E News is saying that they share an

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Speaker 2: Alaskan king sized bed.

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Speaker 3: In his house.

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Speaker 1: The massive square mattress.

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Speaker 2: It's like two California Kings next to each other. This

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Speaker 2: is what Neo has explained. You have to get the

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Speaker 2: mattress made, like you have to get a custom mattress made.

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Speaker 1: I guess you would.

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Speaker 2: Okay, it's hard enough sleeping next to one person. I

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Speaker 2: think for all the different reasons. Why because we all

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Speaker 2: have our own interests, so or what makes us sleep

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Speaker 2: better and what wakes us up?

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Speaker 1: Y'd?

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Speaker 3: Can you imagine four people in one bed?

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Speaker 1: See? This is where people This is where people get

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Speaker 1: fascinated by the questions and the debates and poking a

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Speaker 1: little fun and all these things that a couple one

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Speaker 1: on one has issues with. Who's gonna cook tonight, who's

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Speaker 1: taking out the trash, what is the temperature when we

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Speaker 1: go to bed at night? The sheets, all these things.

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Speaker 1: How do you divide out about three are women, who

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Speaker 1: are you snuggling with? Who spoons? Whom? Are you all

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Speaker 1: all spooning one direction and then you all turn and

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Speaker 1: spoon the other direction? Is he in the middle? Who

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Speaker 1: gets the remote? How does this work?

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Someone doesn't get a bedside table or two people don't

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Speaker 2: like That's a tough situation.

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Speaker 1: You would also ask Robes about their sexual relationship. Is

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Speaker 1: this is he always one on one or this is

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Speaker 1: just something that they all participate.

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Speaker 3: In that I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Those are questions not you're fascinated by this.

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Speaker 3: We need to have Neo on the show.

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Speaker 2: We need to see if we can get him on

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Speaker 2: and get in to all of these very important questions

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Speaker 2: that we need to know now when we come back,

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Speaker 2: I can tell you this. When he talked to Sherry Shepherd,

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Speaker 2: she asked, how do you handle holidays like Valentine's Day?

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Speaker 2: And how about this question? What are the rules for

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Speaker 2: the women? Can they date other people? And welcome back everyone.

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Speaker 2: We continue our conversation about the fascinating polyamorous relationship that

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Speaker 2: Neo has because it's one relationship, but it's three women,

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Speaker 2: and he talked about it at length with Sherry Shepard.

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Speaker 2: This week and I couldn't get enough. We have so

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Speaker 2: many follow ups that we would like to ask Neo.

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Speaker 2: But here's what we did find out. How do you

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Speaker 2: handle a holiday like Valentine's Day?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 2: So he said his big point is he doesn't do

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Speaker 2: blanket stuff like everybody gets red roses or everybody gets chocolates.

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Speaker 2: He gives individual gifts for each woman based on what

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Speaker 2: they like, so that everyone feels special on the day.

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Speaker 2: And he makes a point there are no group gifts.

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Speaker 2: There are no everyone gets that one on one attention

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Speaker 2: when it comes to the actual holiday or gift giving situation.

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Speaker 2: But I imagine on the holiday itself. He I mean,

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Speaker 2: he's gonna have to just one day, so I guess that's.

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Speaker 3: A group date.

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Speaker 2: But they talk, You talk about how group time is

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Speaker 2: very important. That seems like a lot of work.

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Speaker 1: It is. It is a lot of war. One relationship

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Speaker 1: is difficult. I just I can't imagine managing because they're

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Speaker 1: human beings, they're women, and they're just no matter what

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Speaker 1: you agree to. That's three personalities, three people who need

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Speaker 1: something right, they need some type of human interaction. And

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Speaker 1: now are the women do they support each other? Are

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Speaker 1: they all good friends, spend a lot of time.

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Speaker 2: Again, Yep, he said that's a huge part of it.

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Speaker 2: That they have to be that that's key to making

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Speaker 2: it work. And that does make a lot of sense. Obviously,

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Speaker 2: you could not have jealousy or any sort of issue

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Speaker 2: going on among the women, or at least between two

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Speaker 2: of the women, because that would ruin.

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Speaker 1: Every What about chores, household responsibilities of people? Is it

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Speaker 1: divided up? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I think they all kind of do their thing.

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Speaker 2: He just talked about how they make it work, that

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Speaker 2: they all talk to one another. Big question, what are

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Speaker 2: the rules for the women? Can they date others? So

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Speaker 2: Sherry asked him directly, Neo, can your girlfriends date other men?

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Speaker 2: He quickly, and it was described as curtly, replied no, no.

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Speaker 3: And here was his exact quote.

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Speaker 2: I've made no request for exclusivity of any of these women.

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Speaker 2: I didn't ask for them to be with me. They

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Speaker 2: said they want to be with me. They gave me

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Speaker 2: their exclusivity, meaning if you give it to me, it's mine.

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Speaker 2: I deal with partnership as opposed to ownership. But if

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Speaker 2: the exclusivity is mine, it's mine.

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Speaker 3: Damn.

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Speaker 1: You should have led with that.

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Speaker 2: So I'm not gonna say I'm possessive, but I'm possessive.

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Speaker 1: Oh he's not. He accepted what was given to him.

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Speaker 2: That's exactly what he said, and I took it. I

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Speaker 2: didn't demand it. I didn't say they had to. But

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Speaker 2: once they gave it to me, now it's mine.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of like Machado and the Nobel Prize to

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Speaker 1: drum An asked for it, but you know, what, the

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Speaker 1: hell with it. I'll take it, I mean, and so

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Speaker 1: it's his now.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I guess you're right. That is a pretty uh.

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Speaker 3: But here's the deal.

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Speaker 2: We hear about polyamorous relationships, you know, often enough, and

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Speaker 2: people talk about it more now than they ever have before.

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Speaker 2: But have you ever heard of anything like this in

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Speaker 2: reverse where.

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Speaker 1: A woman has It's probably going to be an episode

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Speaker 1: of this next Season's all fair.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I would feel like someone would end.

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Speaker 1: Up dead a woman that we are. This is the

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Speaker 1: best answer I have. That's just not how things work,

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Speaker 1: That's all I got.

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Speaker 2: No man would be willing to share his woman with

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Speaker 2: another man?

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Speaker 1: Is that?

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Speaker 3: And why are women willing to share their man with

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Speaker 3: another one?

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Speaker 1: This is rare? This? Come on, this is rare. This is.

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Speaker 1: I don't think you find it. I don't. I don't

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Speaker 1: know a lot of women in my life that are

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Speaker 1: willing to do that. But no, I'm trying to think

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Speaker 1: of some trying to put some woman in this category,

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Speaker 1: some hip hop singer or some R and B singer

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Speaker 1: who who could have.

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Speaker 3: Men like Madonna or like back in the day. But

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Speaker 3: still I don't think. I don't think it would work.

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Speaker 3: There's two men would not live in the same house.

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Speaker 1: That was a good call. Madonna could pull it off. Damn,

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Speaker 1: that's a good call.

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Speaker 3: That was the only person I could think of all

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Speaker 3: possibly do it. Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, and this kind of sums up

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Speaker 2: where he is when he first came out publicly, I

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Speaker 2: should just say on social media and that was when

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Speaker 2: he had his four girls at one point and he

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Speaker 2: just said, say something nice or move on with your life.

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Speaker 3: We happy over here. And so that's just kind of

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Speaker 3: how he basically summed it up. We're happy. What are

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Speaker 3: y'all talking about?

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Speaker 1: Good for you, you know what.

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Speaker 2: I would like to stay up on this though, And

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Speaker 2: so he was from four to three three, but he

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Speaker 2: still has the original three. I would loved it like

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Speaker 2: a year from now, still still good. Like I am so.

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Speaker 1: Curious, it'd be down to two or maybe up to six. Yeah. No,

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Speaker 1: and I love this brother. Uh yeah. Have I told

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Speaker 1: you the Neo story? The night out with Neo?

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Speaker 3: Wait, you might have a little Can you refresh my memory?

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Speaker 1: It started at Pots and Oe in Midtown, Yes, and

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Speaker 1: I was with Chuck and the three of us and

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Speaker 1: we ended up out and I ended up leaving a

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Speaker 1: club scared that night partying with Neo. I ran out

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Speaker 1: of a VIP that gets me out of here.

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Speaker 3: What was so scary?

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you when we get over.

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Speaker 3: Okay, because you knew I was gonna ask.

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Speaker 1: But yes, I have always we're all a fan of

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Speaker 1: his music. This is out of left field, you know.

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Speaker 1: I hated to see what he went through because I was.

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Speaker 1: We were in Atlanta at the same time, and we

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Speaker 1: went through with his wife.

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Speaker 3: The ugly divorce.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and he had three kids with her, and I

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Speaker 2: believe two kids with two other women.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean that that gets complicated.

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Speaker 1: But if he's figured something out, then good for more

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Speaker 1: power to him. But yes, I want to follow up.

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Speaker 1: I'm curious about all types of relationships. What was the

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Speaker 1: one the mixed orientation couple.

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Speaker 3: You remember that they just had a baby.

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Speaker 1: See, that's fascinating. We've got to follow up with him.

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Speaker 1: So the point being love looks all kinds of ways

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Speaker 1: and that's okay, and be curious instead of judgmental. Can't

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Speaker 1: we do that first?

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Speaker 2: Yes? And you know what, We've got our love story

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Speaker 2: series that we're going to try to put together again

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Speaker 2: for this Valentine's Day season where we talked to couples

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Speaker 2: from all different walks of life, different age gaps, different

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Speaker 2: religious We try to get them like old, young, long, new,

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Speaker 2: all of that. But we should at some point try

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Speaker 2: to get Neo and his girls on the show.

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Speaker 1: We need to get some more microphones. All right, folks,

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Speaker 1: this was a fun one today kind of and a

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Speaker 1: fascinating one. Hope wherever you are right now, you are

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Speaker 1: having a good weekend, and we'll continue to hop on

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Speaker 1: as news or our moods dictate. But for my dear

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Speaker 1: Amy Robot, I'm t J. Holmes. We'll talk to y'll soon, right,