1 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,800 Speaker 1: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories. 2 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:17,160 Speaker 2: Hey there, everybody, and welcome to this episode of Amy 3 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 2: and TJ, where we are bringing our love stories to 4 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,599 Speaker 2: you all as we count down to Valentine's Day and 5 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 2: today we are very excited to have Dolores Catanya and 6 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 2: Paul Paully Connell with us. I think most of you 7 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 2: know who. Dolores is a longtime fan favorite on the 8 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:38,919 Speaker 2: Real Housewives of New Jersey and Paul is originally from Dublin, Ireland. 9 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,959 Speaker 2: They met in twenty twenty one after a chance encounter 10 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 2: at an Apple store. Here is their love story. 11 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,880 Speaker 1: All right, Dolores and Paul join us now in person. 12 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 1: We used to have We usually have to do these 13 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 1: interviews with people on zoom. It's good to be sitting 14 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: in a room with you all. We can see them. 15 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: They can't fake it now, robes. If they don't like 16 00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 1: each other. 17 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 2: We see the relationship. Yes, we see the interaction. 18 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:02,920 Speaker 3: It is help. 19 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: But thank you all for being here again. You know 20 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: the game. We are asking all the couples of the 21 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: same questions. The first one. We're gonna set this up 22 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,560 Speaker 1: this way. It's usually the one that trips everybody up the. 23 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:13,880 Speaker 3: Most, right I'm really here. 24 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: Here is the first question. Five words or less describe 25 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 1: your relationship today. Five words or less describe your relationship today. 26 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:29,240 Speaker 3: From me and him, or we could say together individually individually, 27 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:41,040 Speaker 3: I am happy, I'm content, I am grateful, and what else? Mm, 28 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 3: that's big words for me, So I'm gonna I'm going 29 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:50,200 Speaker 3: to say I'm good with three. Yeah, how's that good? 30 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: Good? 31 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 4: So I would say all them three words for sure. 32 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 4: Content is a big word, so content me. 33 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:01,600 Speaker 3: I'm attracted to him, like described in the relationship. I 34 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 3: think he's good, like a guy, sorry, very masculine, super 35 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 3: I like that. 36 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 1: I do like them pretty boys. 37 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 4: Is complete. I feel complete. That's a that's a big deal. 38 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: This is so interesting. I think you've noticed the are couples, 39 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 1: and that's not insult, but the older couples, some of 40 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,920 Speaker 1: the words come out, growth and content. That's kind of 41 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,080 Speaker 1: been a theme. I was surprised to hear those specific 42 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: words like safe. 43 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,640 Speaker 2: A lot of the words that when you're young you 44 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 2: don't think matter. Peace, safety, like just having a companion, 45 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,799 Speaker 2: someone you can trust. Those are that's what you want. Ultimately, 46 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 2: when all of the hot sex of romance, not that 47 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,919 Speaker 2: it goes away. But when that part that crazy and 48 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,519 Speaker 2: love fades, those are the values that keep people together. 49 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 2: And that's what we've seen. 50 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,959 Speaker 3: That is and you know, I see so many couples now, 51 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,680 Speaker 3: right because that's what you need the most in your 52 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 3: later years, because that's when things hit hard. Sometimes it's 53 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 3: financial struggle can happen at that time, retirement and then 54 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 3: there's just you. But there's also health issues, which I 55 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:12,959 Speaker 3: see my parents aren't together, and my mom has health 56 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 3: issues and my dad has health issues. And as children 57 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 3: looking at them, were like, we're jumping in to take 58 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 3: care of them, which is an honor to be able 59 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:22,920 Speaker 3: to do. But we say, this was the time they 60 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 3: were supposed to be there for each other. Wow. 61 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh that is something to think about in terms 62 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 2: of the two of you coming together because you all 63 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 2: had previous marriages. Yes, how did you all first meet? 64 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 2: And when I asked that, I'm leading up to asking 65 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 2: you the question who said I love you first? How 66 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 2: quickly did that come? So we met through a friend? 67 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:52,119 Speaker 3: Okay, and I you know now you have Instagram, right, 68 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 3: So this friend of ours was a friend of his 69 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 3: and I knew her. She's a decorator. He's in like construction. 70 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,839 Speaker 3: He's an electoral contractors. So they knew each other from 71 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 3: this world. And she said to me, you know, I 72 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,080 Speaker 3: have a friend. He's really cool. You should date. Andm like, go, well, 73 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 3: I'm not cool. So she's like, he'll bring it out 74 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 3: in you. So I went on his Instagram because now 75 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 3: we can do this right, and I thought it was 76 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 3: gay because he had all pictures of his mom and 77 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 3: his dog and his heart and he was very well dressed. 78 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 3: So I'm like, oh, no, this guy is not going 79 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,359 Speaker 3: to like not from looking at him, but by what 80 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,359 Speaker 3: he was posting. From looking at him too. Yes, he 81 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:39,239 Speaker 3: was very like his hair was perfect, he was dressed beautifully, 82 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,160 Speaker 3: that kind of thing was put together together. 83 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 4: Straight, care of yourself and just go out there. 84 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 3: But he was just everything was just the way he was. 85 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:50,719 Speaker 3: And you know a lot of his mom and I 86 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,400 Speaker 3: have a I love a mommy's boy. That's that's the guy, 87 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 3: I think, right, Yeah, So I'm like, oh, this is good. 88 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,240 Speaker 3: So I did tell him. I said, I'm so glad 89 00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 3: you're not gay. Really thought anyway. So we met. We 90 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 3: were supposed to go on a date and both our 91 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,280 Speaker 3: phones broke at the same time, and we met at 92 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 3: the Apple Store before our date. 93 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, wait, you didn't know you were both going to 94 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,719 Speaker 1: the Apple Store. No, okay, that's a good story. 95 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 3: That's fate. 96 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 2: Yes, that's amazing all right. So from the Apple Store 97 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,719 Speaker 2: it blossomed from there. 98 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, that day we spoke for three hours. We went 99 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 3: to the store and next store we had something to drink. 100 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:34,479 Speaker 4: We spoke for got a chocolate chip cookie, so this 101 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 4: is easy. Spoke for three hours. Yeah, Yeah, it was fun. 102 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:39,880 Speaker 4: I felt like we got a lot of stuff out 103 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 4: of way real fast. 104 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,720 Speaker 3: So it was like it wasn't a formal date. 105 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, even driving away from that first time I met you, 106 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:51,120 Speaker 4: it was like we talked about all of that stuff, 107 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,040 Speaker 4: like were just getting the note, like I don't even 108 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 4: know you, and then we were going out a day 109 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 4: later on, so it felt like even more connected when 110 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 4: we met to go on the official date, which was cool. 111 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 2: It sounds like you did the hot take dating, which 112 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 2: is the new trend now where people just put it 113 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 2: all out first day. 114 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 3: Do you want kids? 115 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,279 Speaker 2: What do you believe in God? You know, like like 116 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 2: all of these who did you vote for? 117 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 3: There's nothing wrong with that? 118 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, sounds like you all went right. Who said I 119 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,000 Speaker 2: love you first. 120 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,000 Speaker 3: You know, I'm old school. I'm not going to do that. 121 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 3: I have too much pride number one, and I am 122 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 3: not going to do that. 123 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,280 Speaker 1: Sounds like you felt it, but you didn't say it, 124 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:30,039 Speaker 1: like you made. 125 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:33,520 Speaker 4: A choice, because I would have never said it. I 126 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 4: didn't feel it. Okay, you knew. 127 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,160 Speaker 1: It was going to be reciprocated. 128 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 3: Okay, all right? 129 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,160 Speaker 2: How long before you guys dated? How long until you 130 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,599 Speaker 2: got engaged and then eventually got married. 131 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:49,479 Speaker 3: We just got engaged in November twos, thank you, four 132 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,719 Speaker 3: years at the Apple store. Where we got engaged At 133 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,720 Speaker 3: the Apple Store, I thought I was getting an iPhone. 134 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,720 Speaker 2: You your ring is gorgeous, by the. 135 00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 3: Way, I waited a long time for it. He said, 136 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 3: what kind of ring would you like? Because we really 137 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,960 Speaker 3: didn't talk about because again, too much pride. I'm not 138 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 3: going to ask you to do the right thing, because 139 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:06,920 Speaker 3: if I do, it's already too late. 140 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 4: Those a couple of things in the way, and divorce 141 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 4: was one of them. 142 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 3: Separated fourteen years and he never got to. 143 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 1: Separated fourteen years. 144 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 4: I had no reason to get divorced because things were 145 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 4: they were fine. We just moved in different life. It 146 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,760 Speaker 4: was no urgency I didn't find that person where I 147 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 4: was like, and then obviously the doors came around. 148 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 3: But in all fairness, Paul, because I feel like he's married. 149 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 3: He's married, and he is old in an old way 150 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,840 Speaker 3: of thinking, and he thought about his kids a lot. 151 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 3: He never was public with his in with his relationships. 152 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 3: So then when I came around, not only was I public, 153 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 3: I'm not on TV. 154 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 2: It hit hard, he did. 155 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 3: It was almost like I was the first one coming 156 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:53,160 Speaker 3: around and they were like still together when they hadn't 157 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 3: been together for many years. 158 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 4: And you're a lot like as like a person. She probably, 159 00:07:58,640 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 4: but you're also on TV. 160 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 3: It's she was a fan. 161 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 4: She was a fan, and it didn't help. 162 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 2: Oh, it's complicated. 163 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 3: Remember when I wasn't with the man for like a 164 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 3: lot long time or even a little bit of time. 165 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 3: When I'm not done. When I'm done, I'm done. I 166 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 3: don't care. If you were dating Christy Brinkley, which I 167 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 3: am not, it would be okay. 168 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 2: So when is the wedding? Have you guys made wedding plans? Wow? 169 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 3: When's the wedding? Pol So? 170 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 4: I was hoping for November tenth, right, that was what 171 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 4: I would hope for. 172 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,559 Speaker 3: That's when we got engaged, and that's that's when I moved. 173 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 4: She moved into the house, so which she forgot, which 174 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 4: I reminded her of that day when she got engaged. 175 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:45,199 Speaker 4: The date is important, Yeah, the significance of right, it's 176 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 4: like dow chapter, new chapter in new chapter. So we 177 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 4: were driving away after get engaged, and I'm like, okay, 178 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 4: so now a little bit of time got to think 179 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 4: this process. Literally two eggs is on the highway when 180 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 4: we get married, like when's when? When are we doing this? 181 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:03,760 Speaker 3: And I'm like, I'm divorced seven years. 182 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 4: Had a stroke when I was getting engaged. 183 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,599 Speaker 3: Her what I thought he was having a stroke. He 184 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:13,960 Speaker 3: was saying nice things to me. He was like, You've 185 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:17,679 Speaker 3: changed my life, and so I go, are you okay? 186 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,960 Speaker 3: And I touched his shirt soken wet. I almost was 187 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,760 Speaker 3: gonna call an ambulance because I thought he was having 188 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:25,120 Speaker 3: a stroke. 189 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,040 Speaker 1: Were you in the store around side of the store 190 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 1: in the store. 191 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,600 Speaker 4: We settled up. There's a whole story to us. 192 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 3: I had no idea I used you know, I used 193 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 3: to work in a jail, and I grew up around 194 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,080 Speaker 3: cops and I've been around Everything's a conspiracy in my 195 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 3: house growing up and so nobody gets anything by me. 196 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 3: Like I could bug your car, I could bug your 197 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 3: off No, man, I could break the code on your phone. 198 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,880 Speaker 3: I don't care if you went to Harvard, Well I can. 199 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 3: But so I'm always ten steps ahead. I had no clue, 200 00:09:54,679 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 3: not a clue. I I not this time, not with you. 201 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:07,319 Speaker 3: I took a break with you because I trust you. 202 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 3: That's a big thing. I trust Paul very much. When 203 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,440 Speaker 3: I met Paul, he said, if I'm going to be 204 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 3: in your life, because I've always been very guarded, and 205 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 3: he said, if I'm going to be in your life, 206 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 3: and I'm a man, you have to let me help you, 207 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 3: and you have to let me be there for you. 208 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,440 Speaker 3: And that was a hard probably the hardest thing for 209 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 3: me to do. And then like giving up and moving 210 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 3: in with him, like I was used to just doing 211 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,680 Speaker 3: everything by myself because it was easier. And when you 212 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 3: do that, you're not disappointed. When you don't depend on anybody, 213 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:39,959 Speaker 3: you will never be disappointed. 214 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:44,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's but so it's a beautiful thing. You 215 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 2: have to take that leap of faith. And I did 216 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,440 Speaker 2: ask someone that's amazing, she touched sheep. 217 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,680 Speaker 1: I live by that that mindset. I will never be disappointed. 218 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: I'll just do it on my own. I'll take care 219 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,200 Speaker 1: of it. That's not a healthy way. 220 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,680 Speaker 3: It's okay, I think, I think if you do it. 221 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,439 Speaker 3: It's not easy to do it first, but it comes 222 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 3: in time. If you don't get disappointed, then you let 223 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 3: it look down a little more, and then if it 224 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 3: goes a little further, you let it down a little more. 225 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 2: If what happens when you do get a little disappointed. 226 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,920 Speaker 4: Back up, Yeah, well it's not it's not bad to 227 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 4: live like that as long as well you kind of 228 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,559 Speaker 4: let your guard down every now and again you can 229 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 4: because that's a comfortable place for you to be. 230 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 3: That's comfortable. That's comfortable for me, and I never want 231 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,960 Speaker 3: to give up that. I want to say, independence from 232 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 3: something like this is never going to call if God forbids, 233 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,440 Speaker 3: something happened tomorrow, whether it be tomorrow's not promised to 234 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,559 Speaker 3: anyone for anything. I wanted to make sure I'm okay 235 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 3: with that. Yeah. 236 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, don't spend time worrying about the stuff you can't control. Yeah, 237 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:40,679 Speaker 4: and definitely worry about what you can. 238 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 3: I've been through enough to know that that's not going 239 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 3: to kill. 240 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,559 Speaker 4: Me At this stage, yeah, or is anyway all right? 241 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:48,959 Speaker 2: I y'all's dynamic is amazing, by the way. 242 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 3: I love it. 243 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 2: I want to know, do you have a daily disagreement 244 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,400 Speaker 2: or a fight that you keep coming back? 245 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,400 Speaker 3: Yeah? Like where do you start? 246 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 2: Like? 247 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:59,080 Speaker 1: Okay, like it's not a recurring thing. We think, what 248 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 1: anything in particular that keeps coming up the youler? 249 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 3: Yeah? What is our biggest thing? Is the temperature of 250 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:09,079 Speaker 3: the house. I'm going through menopause. I will kill I'm 251 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:09,360 Speaker 3: going to. 252 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 2: Same I know the same thing. 253 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 3: We don't even fight about it, like. 254 00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 2: I'll just see he puts the temperature at eighty and 255 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 2: then I'm like, putting it down and then then goodbye. 256 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 2: He puts it back off, back down. 257 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 3: So well, thank god, your normal couple. You're nice. He 258 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,439 Speaker 3: took the firmist thermostat off the wall. He ripped it 259 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,080 Speaker 3: off the wall, and right, I just took it off. 260 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:39,079 Speaker 1: Let's hid it ripped to make it sound so yeah. 261 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 3: You pulled it. I didn't care. I was like, I 262 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 3: was like, and what are you going to do now? 263 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 3: Because there's other thermostats, and there's I can open a 264 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 3: window you can't close. 265 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,760 Speaker 4: The best is when Dolorus is leaving the house. It's 266 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 4: twenty two degrees out. She turns on the air conditioning 267 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:57,560 Speaker 4: before she leaves. I have no clue what she does this. 268 00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,880 Speaker 4: And actually I got a I got a letter from 269 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 4: when I can see send me a letter to thank 270 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 4: me for an amount of use that I've been having 271 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:06,560 Speaker 4: with the electricity. 272 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:08,600 Speaker 3: Over a thousand dollars. 273 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:13,400 Speaker 4: I'm on extra, we're paying. I'm like, this is fucking amazing. 274 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,199 Speaker 2: Anything beyond temperature, Like is there are there? 275 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 3: The phone? He blames me for being on the phone. 276 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 3: I blame him for being on the phone. 277 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 4: I like her to be more present because she spends 278 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 4: a lot of time talking. There's a lot of different housewives. 279 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,200 Speaker 4: They're always on the phone. Each are always talking all 280 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 4: day long. 281 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 3: So sometimes like talking. 282 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 4: Sometimes I'm like, like it this morning, I said there, 283 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,400 Speaker 4: Hi'm like, and you can just sit down and just 284 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 4: have some like one on one time here for a second, 285 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,920 Speaker 4: just connect again? Who will you? 286 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:40,959 Speaker 2: No? 287 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:44,520 Speaker 3: Because you want to know why he was on the phone. 288 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:51,559 Speaker 3: He was on his computer and he was on the phone. 289 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,080 Speaker 4: I was doing. I'm like, come on. 290 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 3: About the hour before that, I wasn't. 291 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 4: That's the sign what happened. That's that's as bad as. 292 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 1: It Isn't that so bad temperature? Couples are fighting over worst? 293 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:15,360 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, on that same thing. Have you ever, in 294 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,240 Speaker 2: any of your fights, gotten to a place where you wanted, 295 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,120 Speaker 2: or thought about, or even threatened to call it quits? 296 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 1: Oh of course I never. 297 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 4: I've never done that. 298 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 3: No, he's never done that, because. 299 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,440 Speaker 4: I say that it's done. 300 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't. So I've never said that. I don't 301 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 3: throw that. 302 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:37,960 Speaker 4: Out six times like corpact dogs unders on the floor. 303 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 4: I'm like, where are you going? By the way, that's Mike, 304 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 4: how you're taking. 305 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:43,160 Speaker 5: No. 306 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 3: But here's the thing. I I moved in with Paul I. 307 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:51,840 Speaker 3: I don't love the area we live in. 308 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 4: Don't say that it's not a bad area. It's just 309 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 4: not what you want. 310 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 3: It's not what I want. And people would kill for it, 311 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,720 Speaker 3: like love it, like they pay a lot of money 312 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 3: to live there. It's it's right by. I could walk 313 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:06,000 Speaker 3: to the GW from there, right. I want the suburbs. 314 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:09,560 Speaker 3: I want a cul de sac. I want trees. I 315 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 3: don't want to look for somebody's roofs when I look 316 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:16,640 Speaker 3: out the window. And so we're looking for a compromise 317 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,320 Speaker 3: for both of us. And that's not an easy thing 318 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 3: to find. 319 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:24,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Did you would 320 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 2: you say you had a honeymoon period? And if so, 321 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 2: how long did it last? 322 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:28,520 Speaker 4: It's still going on? 323 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think is now is our best time? Yeah, 324 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 3: all the hardest parts we went through in the beginning. 325 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 4: At rid of it, you know, dating somebody that's on TV, 326 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 4: is on a reality show. It's like, it's hard to 327 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 4: insert yourself that I'm from Ireland. We I did not 328 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:43,960 Speaker 4: know anything about this life from over here. I work 329 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,760 Speaker 4: all of a sudden, I'm in this very different life, right, 330 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 4: So you've got to deal deal with a lot of 331 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:53,440 Speaker 4: moving parts. You know, there's relationships, all relationships, new relationships, 332 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,240 Speaker 4: and you're just going to get used to the whole thing. 333 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,800 Speaker 4: So I think there's a lot of stress learning about 334 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 4: each other and trying to learn what her world exists. 335 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,080 Speaker 4: I used to be kind of like private guy, and 336 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:05,880 Speaker 4: then my whole world was like I'd come home and 337 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:08,600 Speaker 4: there's people at my house. I'm like, who are these people? 338 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:09,920 Speaker 4: What's going on? 339 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:14,800 Speaker 3: But for a single guy, it looks like James there 340 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:19,000 Speaker 3: I was singing, yeah, as you would love it. So 341 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,720 Speaker 3: now there's like I bring him my dogs and my 342 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:26,760 Speaker 3: glam squad and cameras and all of that. 343 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 4: So all they like, stress part has gone out. That 344 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 4: was all at the start, right, So we loaded it 345 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,440 Speaker 4: really heavy and all they're like, if it was ever 346 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,560 Speaker 4: going to break, it would have broke. 347 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good way. 348 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,480 Speaker 1: How long was that periods? How long was that that 349 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:43,240 Speaker 1: adjustment period to while a year two? 350 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 4: Because then I got like caught off guard with this 351 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 4: whole reality world of social media, I'd say, and people would. 352 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,840 Speaker 3: Say, there was very very second year. 353 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 4: I'd be having dinner. Any windows in your head? Is 354 00:16:56,680 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 4: this going on? Has that happened? So it's like and 355 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 4: then you just have to say, guys are trying to 356 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,720 Speaker 4: make me feel bad about me wanting to feel good. 357 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 4: So you learn to mature through it and then you 358 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,119 Speaker 4: just you block it out and now you enjoy anize 359 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 4: because you're like, he. 360 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:14,920 Speaker 3: Had to realize that certain things, not everything. 361 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 4: Whatever. No clue, You've got no clue what's going on. 362 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,480 Speaker 3: But he thought it was going to affect his life 363 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:22,120 Speaker 3: more than it did. 364 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,920 Speaker 4: It's been very good. 365 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:26,879 Speaker 2: Okay, that's that's awesome. 366 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,199 Speaker 3: In business, like he'll me he has very you know, 367 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:32,160 Speaker 3: big clients, and he'll think that they had no idea 368 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 3: about this, and they're they're. 369 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:42,159 Speaker 4: Like yeahs, like so uh LRUs like my wife's a 370 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:48,040 Speaker 4: huge fan. I'm like, oh my god, doesn't. 371 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:50,560 Speaker 3: You know what I love? 372 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,679 Speaker 2: I love the authenticity. I mean, it's just awesome. You 373 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,200 Speaker 2: say what you think, you mean what you say, that's awesome. 374 00:17:56,440 --> 00:18:00,119 Speaker 2: Who does the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry. How do 375 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:00,960 Speaker 2: you all work that out? 376 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,639 Speaker 3: I think we take turns on that, right. He doesn't 377 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 3: like Italian food. He does not. I definitely want you. 378 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,440 Speaker 4: Took over the cleaning a lot. 379 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,919 Speaker 3: I love to tinker around my house. That's therapy. I 380 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 3: like to fix things nice. I'm sorry to make his 381 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,040 Speaker 3: house a little bit more like mine. I didn't do 382 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 3: that for the first three years because I didn't feel 383 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 3: like mine. 384 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:23,520 Speaker 4: Your tea moving out. 385 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:29,159 Speaker 1: The ship was about the door most of that to go. 386 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:35,640 Speaker 3: Like I said, it was hard for me to know, 387 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,879 Speaker 3: but I know. But I have been cleaning a lot lately. 388 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,640 Speaker 3: Doesn't like the cooking. Pole does not like Italian food, 389 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,840 Speaker 3: and that's all I actually good cook It's very strapped. 390 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:52,040 Speaker 3: It's Irish. Yeah, it's like no spici mashed potatoes. 391 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,720 Speaker 4: It's you want scrambled eggs. I'm like, yeah, like there's 392 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,320 Speaker 4: like sauces and oiles. 393 00:18:56,840 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 3: He doesn't like any kind of He likes it very dry, 394 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:05,040 Speaker 3: you know, clean clean, and that's fine, but I have 395 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:06,040 Speaker 3: to I can't do it. 396 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:12,399 Speaker 2: Do you have any rules about fighting? Like, we don't curse, 397 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,040 Speaker 2: We don't threaten to leave. 398 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:19,320 Speaker 4: We curse so bad Irish people? What was this terrible 399 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 4: my house? 400 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:23,199 Speaker 1: Some couple was it? We don't threaten to leave. 401 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 3: We don't call each other names. 402 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,400 Speaker 4: No, no, like I'll use to see you in excuseday 403 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,080 Speaker 4: word all the time. 404 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,359 Speaker 3: You call me that you've never falled me. 405 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,960 Speaker 4: I will put it in a conversation. But that's Irish people. 406 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,800 Speaker 4: We use that word like it's we do. 407 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:38,719 Speaker 2: What about do you go to bed angry? 408 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 4: No? 409 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 3: Because no, don't talk like that. That's say I don't 410 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,040 Speaker 3: talk like that. 411 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 4: Okay, but I do. 412 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,160 Speaker 1: Face. I wish we couldn't like people. 413 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,440 Speaker 4: About her life, which I understand. 414 00:19:55,720 --> 00:20:01,720 Speaker 3: I was a Catholic Italian girl. Do not talk boy, Okay. 415 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 2: I get it. I was raised Catholic as well. 416 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,760 Speaker 4: One thing I will say that the Lowris taught me. 417 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:10,399 Speaker 4: That's a big lesson that I learned. Whatever would happen 418 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,240 Speaker 4: that day? What was the stupid argument or somewhere. She 419 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,640 Speaker 4: would always try to go to bed on a good note, 420 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,119 Speaker 4: but you would always wake up the next day on 421 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:21,720 Speaker 4: a better note. Regardless it's gone. It doesn't matter what 422 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,520 Speaker 4: it is, it's done well. 423 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:25,600 Speaker 1: That's a good tip. 424 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:26,119 Speaker 4: I like that. 425 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:30,200 Speaker 3: Start clean every day because it then you know, straighten 426 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 3: it out. But if if it's if it lingers on, 427 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 3: Like I kind of internalize things. To be honest with you, 428 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,919 Speaker 3: I handle it and then I address it because I 429 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,360 Speaker 3: have a hot temper and I want to make sure 430 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,480 Speaker 3: I say it right. I articulate it right, and I 431 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 3: don't want to be like, you know, an animal, but she. 432 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 4: Will come back to it. You just think you're driving 433 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 4: somewhere you forgot all about and then. 434 00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:00,240 Speaker 3: What I want to say, You're like, fucking. 435 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 2: Here we go. 436 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 1: What do you think about the idea of couples, because 437 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:07,480 Speaker 1: some made headlines very famous couples. They say they don't fight, 438 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,600 Speaker 1: don't have disagreements at all. What do you think about 439 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:10,200 Speaker 1: the idea? 440 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,000 Speaker 3: I'm so happy for them, that's amazing. 441 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 4: I they do fight one day, that's going to be 442 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:15,520 Speaker 4: over that one time. 443 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,560 Speaker 1: Damn the same thing you said. 444 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,359 Speaker 4: I mean, like, it's not about fighting. It's like you 445 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 4: have to have a disagreement, right you. 446 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:26,399 Speaker 3: Don't you know? You know somebody is somebody, but it's 447 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:27,560 Speaker 3: somebody holding things in. 448 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:28,879 Speaker 2: That's what it says. 449 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,480 Speaker 3: Is somebody not talking about how they really appealed. 450 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 4: Huh, people that perfectly. 451 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,200 Speaker 3: I hope they are. I'm happy for them. 452 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,560 Speaker 1: You all don't endorse it. It sounds like you don't. 453 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,840 Speaker 1: It doesn't sound like a good I think. 454 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,719 Speaker 3: It's honestly piece. There's no price for peace. And if 455 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,760 Speaker 3: you live a peaceful life and you guys find nothing 456 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 3: to argue about, God bless you. I am so happy 457 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 3: for you. 458 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think the part about it is I 459 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 4: try to express myself sometimes to the lowest and cousin 460 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,639 Speaker 4: from art and she just thinks it's really funny because 461 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,480 Speaker 4: it sounds like it's bakwards. 462 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:01,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, trying to staff work does it? It's the wrong 463 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 3: and she's the wrong place I have to. 464 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:09,720 Speaker 4: She's like, back to school. 465 00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:14,239 Speaker 2: Isn't humor sometimes the best weapon and all of that. 466 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,479 Speaker 2: Have you ever gone to couple's therapy? 467 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 4: No, we've given it, but we haven't gone. 468 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:31,719 Speaker 5: And we do listen my phone ring to counsel on 469 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:32,160 Speaker 5: the phone. 470 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 3: You counsel people. 471 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:34,639 Speaker 2: Yes, and. 472 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 3: Guys call him for tips all the time. He listened 473 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,440 Speaker 3: to them. Guys called him all the time he listens. 474 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:46,240 Speaker 3: I don't have patience for number one hysterical women. I 475 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 3: don't have patience for petty people drunk. Don't call me 476 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:54,159 Speaker 3: drunk ever, because I don't drink. And if they if 477 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:58,639 Speaker 3: they're not rational, if somebody's not rational, I don't have 478 00:22:58,680 --> 00:22:59,680 Speaker 3: a lot of patience for them. 479 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,080 Speaker 4: And it's kind of they don't have to. 480 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:03,719 Speaker 3: Listen to me or agree with me. But if I 481 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:07,600 Speaker 3: see like this person that looks for the bad comments 482 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 3: to get upset about, they're not going to find you. 483 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:11,679 Speaker 3: So I just got off the phone with you for 484 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 3: two hours, and you got off the phone with me, 485 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,200 Speaker 3: and we're back at square one because you found one 486 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 3: comment that you went and looked for. I don't want 487 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 3: to see it because I don't read social media and 488 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:21,919 Speaker 3: I don't read comments, and I don't go looking for trouble. 489 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,440 Speaker 3: You do, so you read them. 490 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,719 Speaker 4: Oh, I mean I have phone with it now, ionize, 491 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 4: because then I go further, I'm like, oh my god, 492 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:31,919 Speaker 4: look at this person. 493 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:37,120 Speaker 1: Oh really, So you all aren't against therapy necessary, it's 494 00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,600 Speaker 1: just not something you all felt, you all wanted or needed. 495 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,440 Speaker 3: I'm not against it, not at all. 496 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:45,760 Speaker 1: You will tell emotionally healthy and stable, like you will 497 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,439 Speaker 1: have given each other about things and laughing at it, 498 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,479 Speaker 1: that most things might break a couple down. Like that's 499 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,680 Speaker 1: why I say, will you sit here? Most people don't 500 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,359 Speaker 1: agree to do these segments with us unless they're a 501 00:23:56,359 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 1: solid couple, because you can't sit there necessarily fake questions 502 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,919 Speaker 1: we're asking And. 503 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,640 Speaker 3: Can really anybody fool you sitting afterward? 504 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:07,160 Speaker 5: You've been. 505 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 3: No one's fooling you. I don't know about you, but 506 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 3: she'll tell you if you think that. If you're believe 507 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:20,960 Speaker 3: in someone, he's got his guard and she could see 508 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:21,440 Speaker 3: right through. 509 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:23,160 Speaker 2: That's funny. 510 00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:26,000 Speaker 1: We're in therapy. 511 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,760 Speaker 2: What else should we do? Do you? What's the role 512 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,160 Speaker 2: of friendship in your relationship? 513 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:31,320 Speaker 5: Like? 514 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,560 Speaker 2: Are you all each other's best friends? Do you have 515 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,200 Speaker 2: your other best friends and you just you have the romance? 516 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:40,440 Speaker 2: How important is being each other's friend? Does that play 517 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:43,720 Speaker 2: a role in your relationship? I think that's everything. He 518 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,439 Speaker 2: is to come to me with things and I have 519 00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:46,880 Speaker 2: to go to him with things. 520 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,960 Speaker 4: I would say we're we're best friends as well, but 521 00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:54,880 Speaker 4: we respect our relationship so much that we don't let 522 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,159 Speaker 4: it just become friends, right, so we we have that 523 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,760 Speaker 4: boundary set like because they're still in a relationship, right. 524 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:06,000 Speaker 4: So you know, it's a I've I've felt less needingful having, 525 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 4: Like when you're a different age, you have more people 526 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,840 Speaker 4: around you. And he's always run my dad saying you 527 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:14,440 Speaker 4: get older, all these clones won't be around that. I'm like, yeah, 528 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,679 Speaker 4: that right, whatever, But he was right. So as you 529 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 4: go up and you see there's less people in your circle, 530 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,560 Speaker 4: and then you kind of allow these people to come 531 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:24,159 Speaker 4: into your circle. When you've got you've got people you 532 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:27,600 Speaker 4: want to protect. You don't just have anybody come in, right, 533 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,879 Speaker 4: so it can be around put they're not in. 534 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 1: Protect is a good word. 535 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,800 Speaker 2: I love that word. And you're protecting your relationship. Your 536 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 2: relationship comes first, the costs you have to that's your peace, 537 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:39,520 Speaker 2: that's your safe space. 538 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:43,159 Speaker 3: You know. I like I like my space from a 539 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 3: lot of things. I like my time alone. I went 540 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,399 Speaker 3: to Trader, you know, I was on Traders, and the 541 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,080 Speaker 3: best part about Traders was the time I spent in 542 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:52,919 Speaker 3: a room by myself for over a month with no 543 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,159 Speaker 3: phone and only three stations on the TV, like, Wow, 544 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,720 Speaker 3: that was the prob such so peaceful. I got to 545 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,679 Speaker 3: call once a week for thirty minutes supervised phone call, 546 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:07,520 Speaker 3: and yeah, yeah, I had their condition off. 547 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:16,640 Speaker 4: A dog was walking around in a bikinis, but sometimes. 548 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:21,479 Speaker 3: Him and Mike chihuahua love it. I have rescue dogs. 549 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,320 Speaker 3: So they've taken over the house, the one I know. 550 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 3: They're best friends. It was rough after us, you know, 551 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,160 Speaker 3: like I said, Paul has this house that he loves 552 00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 3: so much. In the floors just because now we wee 553 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,240 Speaker 3: pine and that's too bad. But Paul loves the dog. 554 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:35,160 Speaker 3: The dogs do anything. 555 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,439 Speaker 1: Him and the dog are best friends we have. You know, 556 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:39,320 Speaker 1: I always say. 557 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:43,400 Speaker 3: Be careful with couples and friends that lead into your relationship. 558 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,840 Speaker 3: I've always protected our relationship from those things, and I've 559 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,440 Speaker 3: warned him about that, and sometimes he'd be like, why 560 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,640 Speaker 3: are we doing this with this and this one? I said, 561 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,960 Speaker 3: I love them, Paul, but I need them where they. 562 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,040 Speaker 4: Are very true. 563 00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:01,240 Speaker 1: Now that's interesting. It sounds like, yeah, if you allowed 564 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,080 Speaker 1: friendships might have come in between or affected your relationship, 565 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,840 Speaker 1: but you all have. You've kept the friendships but kept 566 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,800 Speaker 1: them out of your relationship. Is that am I hearing? 567 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 3: That right. 568 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,399 Speaker 4: Yes, Okay, if I was to say what I was 569 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:16,480 Speaker 4: told throughout my relationship with Dolors from people that are 570 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:20,480 Speaker 4: supposed to be friends, they would have a lotless teeth 571 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,119 Speaker 4: damn wow from me. 572 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:25,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, there's jealousy. 573 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,840 Speaker 4: It's just jealousy and it's toxic, and it's just happiness. 574 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,320 Speaker 4: They're not happy. 575 00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:33,480 Speaker 3: So I felt like they I would know when I 576 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,639 Speaker 3: walked in the house just by his attitude sometimes or 577 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,200 Speaker 3: the way his energy was. Who he spoke to. 578 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:41,200 Speaker 2: Wow. 579 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:45,680 Speaker 3: I never confronted those people. I let him get through 580 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 3: it and see it for himself. I kind of let 581 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,800 Speaker 3: him banch or say things, but I never. 582 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:52,879 Speaker 4: You always asked the question, right, So, so many plants, 583 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,760 Speaker 4: a seed in your head doesn't come out the first 584 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,120 Speaker 4: day about three four days later. That's what people are 585 00:27:57,119 --> 00:28:00,040 Speaker 4: great at. They're great a planting these little seeds. So 586 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 4: as a person, I like to put it out. I 587 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:03,679 Speaker 4: don't keep it in, and I keep it in, then 588 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,400 Speaker 4: the relationships fucked, so I will bring it up. 589 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:10,280 Speaker 3: So that was our biggest challenge in the beginning. 590 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,040 Speaker 4: But that was instigation of trying to break what she 591 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:13,960 Speaker 4: had and what I had. 592 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,360 Speaker 3: So I had to understand that he had to go 593 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,840 Speaker 3: through that and not get mad at him for that. 594 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:20,920 Speaker 4: It's so good. Now when I sit talk to these people. 595 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,800 Speaker 2: We see them, We're like, I know you, I got 596 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:24,280 Speaker 2: your card. 597 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,880 Speaker 3: So I think a lot of people let a lot 598 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:32,360 Speaker 3: of couples when they first get together. Let older couples 599 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,320 Speaker 3: because now they've had these people in their lives for 600 00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:35,960 Speaker 3: so long and they were such a big part of 601 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:40,040 Speaker 3: their lives before this relationship came that now they feel 602 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,800 Speaker 3: mad about this relationship and they're like, well I'm out now. 603 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,600 Speaker 3: They just it's human nature. They try to hurt. 604 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,720 Speaker 4: It instead of them saying, let's work with them because 605 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,840 Speaker 4: that's a good that's that's good energy. Let's be around. 606 00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:56,000 Speaker 3: Them all me your friends, on the on the road 607 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,240 Speaker 3: you've been on and the road. 608 00:28:57,880 --> 00:28:59,960 Speaker 1: And I asked, then, how could you all remember a time? 609 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,560 Speaker 1: I know you joked about our putting stuff at the 610 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:03,680 Speaker 1: front door and it's threatening to leave six thousand times, 611 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,120 Speaker 1: But can you all point to a moment. I don't 612 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,000 Speaker 1: know if it was a particular fight, I mean, particular 613 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,400 Speaker 1: time or segment of your relationship that you actually got 614 00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:12,760 Speaker 1: close to ending. 615 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:18,959 Speaker 3: It never's and every time that incident happened, it was 616 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:22,360 Speaker 3: over him somebody. 617 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 4: There was something outside, wasn't It was always brought in. 618 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,160 Speaker 3: And that's why I didn't take the next step out 619 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,720 Speaker 3: because I knew that that would eventually heat sea froms. 620 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 4: And that's why I never said no. Because even though 621 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:34,760 Speaker 4: you were. 622 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,120 Speaker 3: You feel bad about those times a little bit, like 623 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 3: do you look back and. 624 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,120 Speaker 4: Be like people were telling me? 625 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:47,840 Speaker 3: What could they say about me? Anyway? Like what they absolutely. 626 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,200 Speaker 4: Shot themselves in the floor, because there's still the same 627 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,120 Speaker 4: people to me, but just to have a different read on. 628 00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:57,960 Speaker 1: Them, damn to say that. How many couples have that 629 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:01,080 Speaker 1: we're talking about people, but how many couples would be 630 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,280 Speaker 1: just fine if some outside force didn't they didn't allow him. 631 00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 1: I mean, it takes a while to get there. 632 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:08,760 Speaker 3: It takes the other person to understand what's going on. 633 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 4: I protecting all. 634 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,120 Speaker 1: Right, last few things here. We asked all couples this, 635 00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,400 Speaker 1: give other couples some advice if you were able to 636 00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:19,840 Speaker 1: talk to all of them. People see successful couples, they 637 00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:22,680 Speaker 1: want to be like you, what do you see other 638 00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,080 Speaker 1: couples doing wrong? 639 00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:24,920 Speaker 4: Right? 640 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:26,840 Speaker 1: Not that you call them out on, but just generally 641 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:29,560 Speaker 1: as you out there, what mistake do you see people 642 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:34,160 Speaker 1: in these times these days, making mistakes about when it 643 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:35,280 Speaker 1: comes to relationships. 644 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:38,000 Speaker 4: Simple the image they're trying to portray that they have 645 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 4: that they don't. That's it what they supposedly say. They 646 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:47,360 Speaker 4: look like, it's not what they do. Meaning these happy photographs, 647 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:51,560 Speaker 4: all these images, they're most not really And. 648 00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:53,040 Speaker 1: We spend a lot of time trying to keep up 649 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:54,400 Speaker 1: with that and catch up and yeah. 650 00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,800 Speaker 4: We listen. We nobody wants supposed to picture you angry, 651 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:02,720 Speaker 4: sat like that's true, ruful ball. If it's all staged, 652 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:04,440 Speaker 4: then what's really real? Right? 653 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,080 Speaker 3: My big yes, and you're right, But my biggest thing 654 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,640 Speaker 3: is that I would say with a couple is to 655 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,160 Speaker 3: let things go. Do not drag out fights. You don't 656 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,280 Speaker 3: always have to have the last word. Not every fight 657 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,760 Speaker 3: is that important. Pick and choose your battles and just 658 00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,560 Speaker 3: most things are not something you're fighting about today, you 659 00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,560 Speaker 3: will never care about a year from now. 660 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:25,960 Speaker 1: Is it worth? 661 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 3: It's so agree with you saying those horrible things. Holding 662 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,760 Speaker 3: grudges in a relationship. You can't hold grudges in a relationship. 663 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:32,760 Speaker 3: You have to let things go. 664 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,560 Speaker 4: I would say do Your thing is if you're in 665 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:37,440 Speaker 4: the wrong place, get out. 666 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,440 Speaker 3: Like what with in a relationship with the wrong person. 667 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,920 Speaker 4: Yes, when you know where you are if it's wrong 668 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:46,040 Speaker 4: or right, you because you end up going I should 669 00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:47,400 Speaker 4: have left this time. 670 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,440 Speaker 3: Time waits for no one. We could waste that. Life 671 00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:53,600 Speaker 3: is too short to be with the wrong person. It's hard, 672 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:55,640 Speaker 3: but that's hard. 673 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,760 Speaker 4: That's guys. Did this? You did this? And I'm like, well, 674 00:31:58,760 --> 00:31:59,680 Speaker 4: what are you doing there? 675 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:01,640 Speaker 3: But did she really do it? Or was it? Because 676 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:02,840 Speaker 3: maybe they like somebody else. 677 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,640 Speaker 4: Well, so if they're still there, maybe she didn't or 678 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,000 Speaker 4: maybe they don't know. 679 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:06,440 Speaker 3: Right. 680 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:12,400 Speaker 2: Final question? A lot of folks, did you have one 681 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,560 Speaker 2: final question? I know this is kind of broad, but 682 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 2: this is everyone wants to know. What would you say? 683 00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 2: The key to your relationship success is why do you 684 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,440 Speaker 2: all work? How have you made it work? 685 00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:28,480 Speaker 3: Compromise? 686 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,800 Speaker 4: That's it. I would agree with that. 687 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:35,280 Speaker 1: I love it. 688 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,000 Speaker 4: I cut the line on Italian food. 689 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,680 Speaker 3: I took on my own. I go to my mother's 690 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 3: first spaghetti. I don't mean. 691 00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:49,880 Speaker 2: I do think like it's been fun to Laurence, but 692 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:53,120 Speaker 2: seeing couples who can give each other ship is the 693 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,000 Speaker 2: biggest sign of a healthy relationship because that means you 694 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,960 Speaker 2: trust each other, you have confidence, you can take a jab. 695 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,040 Speaker 2: We we jabbed each other all the time as friends. 696 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 2: We were constantly at each other's like just in a 697 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:06,240 Speaker 2: silly fun way. 698 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,800 Speaker 3: Okay, it kind of like it's that, you know, if 699 00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:12,160 Speaker 3: you don't do that, if you can't make a joke 700 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:13,640 Speaker 3: out of it, or if you can't like let the 701 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,280 Speaker 3: vent a little, it just fills up and then you 702 00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,120 Speaker 3: don't really like that person. You really don't like. If 703 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,080 Speaker 3: you can't job at each other, then you really don't 704 00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:22,200 Speaker 3: you know. 705 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:27,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, we feel the same about y'all. 706 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,440 Speaker 3: Just so comfortable to sit and be able to talk 707 00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:32,200 Speaker 3: to you. And I'm so happy to see. 708 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:32,920 Speaker 2: You all happy. 709 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:37,080 Speaker 3: You've been. I know you've been through it. I watched it. 710 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:39,440 Speaker 3: I felt for you guys when you went through and 711 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:41,320 Speaker 3: I love to see you smile and happy. 712 00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,960 Speaker 1: Now here we are looking at you all smiling and happy, 713 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:45,800 Speaker 1: and we've been through it too. You know you'll have 714 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:48,520 Speaker 1: so thank you all for being here. We thank you. 715 00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,920 Speaker 1: This is the most f bombs we've ever had. 716 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:53,200 Speaker 4: So good to have. 717 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:59,560 Speaker 1: You're gonna get the trophy on the way folks will talk. 718 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:05,120 Speaker 4: Thank