Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.
Speaker 2: I have a question for you. When did you have
Speaker 2: time to film another special?
Speaker 1: I filmed the stand up special. It's out.
Speaker 3: It's streaming, you guys. It came out Tuesday. Today is Thursday.
Speaker 3: It's called The Feeling. It's on Netflix, and it's my
Speaker 3: favorite stand up special ever, amazing. My book came out
Speaker 3: February twenty fifth. I'll have what she's having. My book
Speaker 3: came out March twenty fifth, So can you wait? Shit
Speaker 3: shit book specials?
Speaker 1: And guess what's coming out April twenty fifth.
Speaker 4: What's out?
Speaker 1: Something else? Anyway, please watch my special on Netflix.
Speaker 3: It means a lot to me for people to watch it,
Speaker 3: and it means a lot to me to have all
Speaker 3: these people buying my books and sending me all these
Speaker 3: dms which I'm reading. I'm reading all of them, and
Speaker 3: I'm calling in to some book clubs. By the way,
Speaker 3: if you are doing a book club with my book
Speaker 3: and you have owls brew, I am calling. I'm going
Speaker 3: to zoom in if you dm me. I have three
Speaker 3: book clubs set up already. April second is the day
Speaker 3: that I'm going to be doing it. So if you
Speaker 3: hear this and you want in on that action. Make
Speaker 3: it happen, and DM me and I will try to
Speaker 3: schedule you into my April second night.
Speaker 1: Awesome.
Speaker 2: So DM on Instagram right, DM me directly on Instagram. Okay,
Speaker 2: awesome and what else? Oh, Vegas, Vegas. I just had
Speaker 2: another Vegas weekend which was epics. I did not win
Speaker 2: money this weekend. I have to be honest. I broke even.
Speaker 4: That's not bad.
Speaker 1: No, I broke even, and that's a wind to be
Speaker 1: because you're renting a good time. But I had.
Speaker 3: My Vegas weekends have been so much fun because so
Speaker 3: many random friends of mine show up.
Speaker 1: Ye friends from Texas shown up.
Speaker 3: I had three friends from La show up, My sister came,
Speaker 3: my friends from Tahoe came.
Speaker 1: It was a blast.
Speaker 3: And so April eighteenth is my next Vegas date, and
Speaker 3: then after that it's July fifth. So April eighteenth and
Speaker 3: July fifth and then August thirtieth, So come and have
Speaker 3: a fun party with me at the Cosmo. It has
Speaker 3: been a real blast, a surprising blast. And I'm also
Speaker 3: doing a bunch of European dates. If you go to
Speaker 3: Chelsea Handler dot com. I'm coming to Europe and starting
Speaker 3: in Rekuvic all the way through Lisbon at.
Speaker 1: The beginning of May, May and June. Great. Okay, our
Speaker 1: guest today is a friend of mine. She is very fun.
Speaker 3: She stars on the current season of White Lotus and
Speaker 3: she just wrapped filming Palm Royal season two.
Speaker 1: Please welcome Leslie Bib.
Speaker 3: Hi.
Speaker 5: How are you h Hello?
Speaker 1: Hello, Lesly Bib? Is this Leslie Bib? Is this really you?
Speaker 6: Hi?
Speaker 5: So it's like you're looking like this at me. Hi?
Speaker 1: I know, I know.
Speaker 3: Sorry, we're in a fake podcast. Well, not a fake
Speaker 3: podcast studio.
Speaker 1: We're not. We are in a fake podcast studio.
Speaker 6: I know.
Speaker 3: The cameras are set in weird directions. So pretend I'm
Speaker 3: looking at you. Okay, my god, this is.
Speaker 5: So oh there we go.
Speaker 6: That's a much better.
Speaker 5: Thank Can I have this? That's so much better because
Speaker 5: I feel like we're talking to each other now, we're
Speaker 5: looking at each other.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you've seen me look at your face before.
Speaker 3: Just go back to that time and pretend that's what's happening.
Speaker 5: Do that. I'm not that good of an actor. Hold on,
Speaker 5: I have to throw something away.
Speaker 3: Hi, chelfs Hi, honey, we just did a podcast with
Speaker 3: your buddy Michelle Monahan.
Speaker 5: Hi, isn't she lovely?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: The loveliest I love. I'm jealous that I wasn't on
Speaker 3: set with both of you. I told her that, well,
Speaker 3: the three of us are going to all do something.
Speaker 3: We're going to do dinner. Yeah, Leslie Bib.
Speaker 5: Where are you? Are you in fucking Canada?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 5: My god?
Speaker 3: Would you let me ask you a fucking question? I mean,
Speaker 3: who cares where I am?
Speaker 5: It's important to me. I love you.
Speaker 3: I'm in Beverly Hills at some podcast studio because my
Speaker 3: house is not done and I have another four months
Speaker 3: of construction, so I had to move back out of
Speaker 3: my house and now I'm staying at a friend's house.
Speaker 5: I find it interesting that you are, to me, one
Speaker 5: of the most powerful women I've ever met. Like, there's
Speaker 5: just like you have like a woo about you, and
Speaker 5: the fact that this has run new wagon.
Speaker 3: I don't even talk about it anymore. It's too stupid.
Speaker 3: I refuse to even give it my time of day.
Speaker 3: I just I said to someone, I'm like, what kind
Speaker 3: of karma? They're like, this is not your karma. I go,
Speaker 3: it really feels like my karma. But anyway, I have
Speaker 3: too many good things in my life to worry about
Speaker 3: this fucking house.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to get rid of it. If anyone
Speaker 1: wants to buy my house, let me know it'll be
Speaker 1: in perfect shape by the time you fucking get your
Speaker 1: hands on it.
Speaker 5: Oat.
Speaker 3: Listen, by the time this comes out, more episodes of
Speaker 3: White Lotus will have come out. So but we're gonna
Speaker 3: focus on the one that we all saw last night
Speaker 3: or two nights ago now, episode number five, right, Yes, it.
Speaker 1: Was episode five. Are there eight episodes?
Speaker 5: There are eight episodes. There are eight of Okay, I
Speaker 5: can answer that.
Speaker 1: First of all, it was the episode with your lover.
Speaker 3: Sam Rockwell was in it with an incredible monologue.
Speaker 1: Incredible monologue that starts. I mean, it was just it was.
Speaker 3: I mean, there was a Time magazine article about it
Speaker 3: about that monologue.
Speaker 1: Yes that you sent me.
Speaker 3: That was awesome and actually really I felt the same
Speaker 3: when I watched that monologue.
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is what Mike White thinks, Like.
Speaker 3: This is either how Mike White feels and things. Because
Speaker 3: that monologue, no one could write something like that except
Speaker 3: I thought maybe Sam Rockwell could. I'm like, you know what,
Speaker 3: Sam might have come in with this monologue and said, listen,
Speaker 3: I have a piece that I want to put in
Speaker 3: the show.
Speaker 5: I don't think. I don't know if anybody who writes
Speaker 5: quite like Mike Mike White does like stuff like that, confrontational,
Speaker 5: that confronting, that subversive, that sort of not nothing he
Speaker 5: does is like dinner table conversation, you know, and the
Speaker 5: way he I haven't seen the episode, but the fact
Speaker 5: that Sam just does it like he's saying past the assault,
Speaker 5: and there's something about that because it's his truth. And
Speaker 5: I feel like if Kate and Laurie and Jacqueline, the
Speaker 5: three women like, are are the ladies? If the ladies
Speaker 5: had come in and just been like, my life is
Speaker 5: a disaster, my marriage is this, or I lost my job,
Speaker 5: I think I'm drinking too much or whatever their shit was,
Speaker 5: and it just talked about it and been vulnerable and
Speaker 5: sort of unapologetic about what's going on in their life,
Speaker 5: it would have been a very different vacation for them.
Speaker 5: But instead they couldn't do that. And so when I
Speaker 5: read all eight episodes and I got to that monologue
Speaker 5: for Frank, I remember feeling like, oh, this is Mike's
Speaker 5: this is like the essence of the show. This is
Speaker 5: what he's saying, like what we should try to aspire
Speaker 5: to And as it goes on, you'll see that, you know,
Speaker 5: things can be very hard to hold on to. And
Speaker 5: I don't know, I don't know if Frank does such
Speaker 5: a good job with his sobriety or any of it.
Speaker 1: Right, so, right, right, right right?
Speaker 3: So how well, by the way, how did Sam So?
Speaker 3: How was it because of you that Sam also got
Speaker 3: in the show? Or was it completely separate.
Speaker 5: Completely separate? The person that they had first gone to
Speaker 5: couldn't do it anymore because we had pushed and pushed,
Speaker 5: and we'd just gone over and weather and whatever. We
Speaker 5: had gone long and Sam was doing a movie in
Speaker 5: South Africa and it was never going to time out.
Speaker 5: Like they had said something to me early on, like
Speaker 5: what if this were to happen, and I was like,
Speaker 5: I don't think it's going to happen because he's shooting
Speaker 5: this big movie and he looks like an unhoused person
Speaker 5: in this movie. You'll never be able to like, he
Speaker 5: can't do both. And also Sam is not that actor.
Speaker 5: He won't sort of double team like that. He'll be
Speaker 5: like he needs prep time. And then we pushed so
Speaker 5: much that he was ending his movie and he had
Speaker 5: like a week and a half between, so technically he
Speaker 5: could do it, but it was he really fretted with
Speaker 5: the idea of doing it. I think he knew that
Speaker 5: that monologue was a beast. It's not something you just go, okay,
Speaker 5: I'm going to do it, you know, you just, on
Speaker 5: top of just being prepared with just being off book
Speaker 5: and ready, you have to do the deep emotional prep
Speaker 5: of what that means. And Sam's got a very specific process.
Speaker 5: And so when they said they were going to offer
Speaker 5: it to him, I remember Dave Bernad was walking through
Speaker 5: one of the hotels we were shooting in and I
Speaker 5: was on the treadmill and I waved at him and
Speaker 5: I said come here, and he came in. He goes,
Speaker 5: did you hear? And I said yeah, I said listen,
Speaker 5: if he doesn't do it, you and Mike can't get
Speaker 5: mad at me like that jet plan's going to fly.
Speaker 5: I can't ground it like that that's going one way
Speaker 5: and I'm not. So he was like, no, no, we
Speaker 5: won't get mad at you, and then he hemmed in
Speaker 5: had But then he eventually did it, And so.
Speaker 3: I can't imagine anyone else doing that, but Sam Rockwell's
Speaker 3: I agree with you as soon as.
Speaker 1: I saw him in it, which I don't. I don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't know he was going to be in that.
Speaker 5: I kept it a secret. Can you believe it?
Speaker 1: I know, I know you guys are good at keeping secrets.
Speaker 1: You guys are good. I mean, I think you're under
Speaker 1: contract to keep that secret.
Speaker 5: But still, like, I mean we told somebody. I'm like,
Speaker 5: you know, people were like, wait, you were there, what
Speaker 5: was going on? And then you know, Sam, of course
Speaker 5: like talk to people about whether or not I should
Speaker 5: do it, But like, I think we did pretty good.
Speaker 5: Like you were like to tam Com visit you and
Speaker 5: I was like, yeah he did. I start looking down
Speaker 5: and looking away and trying not to make like eye
Speaker 5: contactuse I hate lying to people.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, the other highlight of last night's episode. First
Speaker 3: of all, your fucking facial expressions killed me. Whenever I'm
Speaker 3: friends with anybody who's an actor and I watched them
Speaker 3: in movies, it's very hard for me to take them seriously.
Speaker 3: Once I've made a friendship with someone, I just cannot wait.
Speaker 3: All I do is send my friend Connie pictures of
Speaker 3: her acting, and she I'm like, this is ridiculous. She's like,
Speaker 3: don't watch it. I don't want to hear any fucking feedback.
Speaker 3: But Leslie's faces in White Lotus. First of all, I
Speaker 3: also want to just talk about this show and that
Speaker 3: what a cultural zeitgeist this show is every I was
Speaker 3: at my sister's sixtieth birthday weekend and there were fifteen
Speaker 3: people there, like four generations of people, and we all
Speaker 3: sat down on Sunday night to watch this in a
Speaker 3: weekend where we were not watching TV. This was the
Speaker 3: only TV show we watched because everyone was into it.
Speaker 3: Everyone's like, oh my god, New White Lettos, New White Lotus.
Speaker 3: So I could only imagine what you've been experiencing being
Speaker 3: a part of this cast, because it is they show
Speaker 3: that everyone watches. Like Severance is a very popular show.
Speaker 3: Not everyone watches it, but it's hugely popular. There isn't
Speaker 3: a person I know that doesn't watch White Lotus. So
Speaker 3: that in and of itself is such a testament to
Speaker 3: Mike White and all of these casts that he puts together,
Speaker 3: because the casting is the most integral part to all
Speaker 3: of these and it helps that everybody is an actor,
Speaker 3: not a movie star, you know, what I mean, it
Speaker 3: helps that it helps move the story along, that there
Speaker 3: are so many actors and there's so many stories going on,
Speaker 3: because it's so fun to follow that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Hi, it's Catherine from the Future. If you don't
Speaker 2: want any spoilers for episode five of White Lotus that
Speaker 2: came out on March sixteenth, then please skip forward exactly
Speaker 2: two minutes.
Speaker 3: But there was a scene in this pool with Carrie
Speaker 3: Kuhon and with the ladies, the three girls, Michelle Bonahan
Speaker 3: and Leslie and Kerry Kuhon, and as we've come to know,
Speaker 3: Leslie's characters, a Trump supporter, which was.
Speaker 1: A fucking I'm an independent, independent Trump supporter.
Speaker 5: For my husband's Republican but I'm an independent.
Speaker 3: And there's a scene and when they're in with these
Speaker 3: three Russian guys, they've been partying all day and she
Speaker 3: takes her carry Kuhon takes her top off. She's like
Speaker 3: trying to hook up with Vladimir, right or Voldemort Vladimir
Speaker 3: I think it's I want to say Vair, it's Valentine.
Speaker 3: Valentine she's hooking up with She's wanting to anyway. And
Speaker 3: when her top comes off, the face that you have
Speaker 3: the smile. First of all, the show is filled with
Speaker 3: facial expressions from you that are fucking to die for.
Speaker 3: They are so funny.
Speaker 5: What do I do? What do I do?
Speaker 1: That you go? It's patronized seeing kind of.
Speaker 3: Like yeah, even when you're about to talk shit with
Speaker 3: your girlfriends, whether it's with Carrie or Michelle, I'm using
Speaker 3: their real names because I get confused by all the
Speaker 3: character But when one of them leaves and she's like,
Speaker 3: oh god, she seems like she's drinking a lot, She's like.
Speaker 4: Oh she does.
Speaker 1: Everything is so smart.
Speaker 3: It's just coming down like a butterscotch candy and it's
Speaker 3: so funny. And then when she Carrie Kon's top comes off,
Speaker 3: Leslie Bib's already like, I don't know about these men
Speaker 3: at our villa.
Speaker 1: What's going on?
Speaker 3: This is a little too much for me as an
Speaker 3: independent Trump supporter.
Speaker 1: This is a little bit too much for me.
Speaker 3: And then the face that you make when her top
Speaker 3: comes off, like ha, like just a deflation of like
Speaker 3: oh no, we're all gonna get gang banged or something
Speaker 3: bad is gonna happen, Like that is where which is
Speaker 3: where I thought that scene was going. I'm like, uh, oh,
Speaker 3: they are going to turn on her and somebody's getting fucked.
Speaker 3: That's somebody that doesn't want to it's going to But yeah,
Speaker 3: you're acting in this is just like I don't.
Speaker 1: Their character is so so perfectly you Thank you.
Speaker 5: Thanks. That means a lot, Like it really means a
Speaker 5: lot coming from you. I've never experienced anything like this
Speaker 5: show before. It's crazy. Everybody's watching it and they also
Speaker 5: there there's an obsession with it and people really watch
Speaker 5: it for which is I think Mike probably loves very much.
Speaker 5: Is they get all of the metaphors and the themes
Speaker 5: and and and I don't know if it's because it
Speaker 5: only comes out once a week and it makes you
Speaker 5: have an appetite for it and that you have to
Speaker 5: sit there and then you can rewatch it and look
Speaker 5: at stuff and go, oh wait, did you see why
Speaker 5: were there three monkeys in that corner? And why were that?
Speaker 5: Like people are picking up on things that Like I
Speaker 5: was like, are they going to get that? And the
Speaker 5: obsession with understanding it thematically I think is really cool
Speaker 5: because I do think Mike is working in big themes.
Speaker 5: I think you know he's working He's talking about spirituality
Speaker 5: and death. But then he's also working with doppelgangers and
Speaker 5: mirrors and reflections, like with the Three Ladies. You know
Speaker 5: we were said like, oh, nobody could tell us apart
Speaker 5: when we were kids, And even while we were filming,
Speaker 5: if I had my head turned, somebody would be like
Speaker 5: my haircut was enough, like carries and like it felt
Speaker 5: like art in life started to you're there long enough
Speaker 5: and you start to feel like a guest at the
Speaker 5: White Lotus because you're filming at a hotel wherever you
Speaker 5: where you go, it says the White Lotus, I don't know.
Speaker 5: It is like a weird mind trip. So I so
Speaker 5: appreciate you saying that the work is good, but I
Speaker 5: think part of it is just being surrounded by it
Speaker 5: all the time that you I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 5: I think it helps the work, Like when we were
Speaker 5: getting cabin fever from being there for six months and
Speaker 5: feeling like this sometimes because you're away from home and
Speaker 5: away from anything that feels like you're normal. I think
Speaker 5: it actually helped the work, And I think for the
Speaker 5: people who love it, I think the fact that he
Speaker 5: makes you wait every week also helps to aid the
Speaker 5: fever pitch of like I want more and the episodes
Speaker 5: were much bigger. They were I don't know, like hour
Speaker 5: and a half long, and then HBO would make Mike,
Speaker 5: you know, cut them down to fifty two minutes. So
Speaker 5: sometimes I want to see what those hour and a
Speaker 5: half long?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, so does everybody else.
Speaker 5: I know, Like I had this insane dream sequence that
Speaker 5: we shot that I was so like, oh, it was
Speaker 5: like a sucker punch when I found out it got
Speaker 5: cut and I was.
Speaker 1: Like, oh, poor Kate.
Speaker 5: But there's so many stories he's telling and interweaving. It's
Speaker 5: fascinating to me, how you you know, And it's interesting
Speaker 5: your take that, like if you had a big movie
Speaker 5: star in there, would you be able to with such
Speaker 5: abandon go down the you know, all of these roads
Speaker 5: with these people, or would you be like, oh, there's
Speaker 5: Tom Cruise or there's you know what I mean? Would
Speaker 5: you do you think?
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's tough to think about.
Speaker 3: I mean I think that kind of it's yeah, maybe maybe.
Speaker 1: You know, I would think so.
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, depending on their acting ability, like
Speaker 3: to really immerse themselves. I mean maybe it could just
Speaker 3: be say Tom Cruise was a character in that show
Speaker 3: that would be really interesting it would be interesting to
Speaker 3: watch him mixing with everybody and not being the main attraction,
Speaker 3: being one of the storylines, which I really appreciate.
Speaker 1: As a viewer.
Speaker 5: Yeah, jumping off of Bill.
Speaker 3: Yeah, jumping off a bill, of course, or into Paris
Speaker 3: or wherever he needs to go for the Olympics next.
Speaker 3: But what do you learn about the show when you're
Speaker 3: doing it? Like what does Mike tell you about it?
Speaker 3: Like what are you what are you not allowed to
Speaker 3: talk to people about?
Speaker 5: You're not only about anything, not really allowed to talk
Speaker 5: about anythinking. I mean, the fact that they kept Sam
Speaker 5: secret is kind of incredible to me. I don't know
Speaker 5: how they did that, because I mean, in this age
Speaker 5: where everything gets leaked, I don't know. I kept saying
Speaker 5: to him, I think it's bonkers that nobody knows you're
Speaker 5: in it, or it hasn't somehow gone out. But when
Speaker 5: you're doing it, you read the script, but like there's
Speaker 5: something with the way he directs and the way he's
Speaker 5: you know, and you sort of get all eight and
Speaker 5: then I only have my Then I have to give
Speaker 5: back everything because those scripts are so guarded. So I
Speaker 5: have just my section of the script. So I feel
Speaker 5: very disconnected to anybody else's storyline, so you're kind of
Speaker 5: there on your own journey and so you don't know
Speaker 5: how it's all going to be interconnected or any of that.
Speaker 5: So that's really like Mike the editing, how he sees it,
Speaker 5: how it changed. I mean, that's I mean, it's really
Speaker 5: all a testament to him and his vision for this.
Speaker 5: And I think he's got remarkable editors and his production
Speaker 5: designer is incredible. Nothing Mike does is like, oh, look
Speaker 5: at that happen accident, you know, but when you're there,
Speaker 5: he feels you don't feel like that's happening. But he's
Speaker 5: like he's a he's just a mastermind. He's really and
Speaker 5: I feel like in this third season you're really seeing
Speaker 5: Mike I felt like, as a director really step into
Speaker 5: his own in a big way, you know, because he's
Speaker 5: a writer and an actor and those hats I think
Speaker 5: he wears effortlessly. But something about this season felt like
Speaker 5: there was he really something felt I don't know.
Speaker 1: Different, is there any improvisation.
Speaker 5: He's like, I have this thing about beans. We're on
Speaker 5: the beach, I say all these innocuous things. I just
Speaker 5: have like, I mean, my last name is boor k Poor,
Speaker 5: So I don't really say anything interesting, like it's all
Speaker 5: in the name bohr k Poor. And I have this
Speaker 5: like thing about beans, how I tricked my mind into
Speaker 5: liking beans, and and he must have liked it because
Speaker 5: then he came over and he said, Carrie, maybe you
Speaker 5: would say this, and then Leslie, you go, no, no, no,
Speaker 5: I don't like big beans. I like small beans. And
Speaker 5: then we went into a whole thing where we were
Speaker 5: just riffing on beans and he was like like chigante
Speaker 5: and then we're doing this now. But he usually comes
Speaker 5: up with he's so rhythmic with when he's hearing his
Speaker 5: writing and that he comes over and changes it. But
Speaker 5: that's it. I mean, it's nothing like it's all Mike.
Speaker 5: It's kind of refreshing because then you don't feel like
Speaker 5: you have to do anything and it's all on the
Speaker 5: page right, so you're like, you're not trying to make
Speaker 5: chicken salad out of chicken shit. It's like already a
Speaker 5: fucking amazing sandwich, you know, and it's got like French
Speaker 5: fries and a great drink and like it's everything. You
Speaker 5: don't have to make something out of nothing, Okay, on.
Speaker 1: That note, we're going to take a break and we're
Speaker 1: going to come right back with Leslie Bib. And we're
Speaker 1: back with Leslie.
Speaker 3: Bib from The White Lotus, most recently from The White Lotus.
Speaker 3: She's been in a bevy of things and everyone knows
Speaker 3: who you are, and then and then this show, now,
Speaker 3: as we've discussed, is like being catapulted front and center
Speaker 3: with like it's like being I mean, I know that
Speaker 3: you guys have been on this crazy press tour, and
Speaker 3: I know you personally have been bouncing around crazily and
Speaker 3: you're like, oh my god, this is so crazy, you know.
Speaker 3: It's She's like, I've never been part of something like
Speaker 3: this where everybody is invested at like the whole world
Speaker 3: is watching and it must just be such a crazy ride, Chelsea.
Speaker 5: It's fucking amazing. It's so cool. It's like somebody was like,
Speaker 5: why aren't you watching, and I said, well, it's like,
Speaker 5: you know, I'm critical of myself and it just feels tricky,
Speaker 5: like people have been saying the work is good, so
Speaker 5: I worry that if I watch it, I'm going to
Speaker 5: try to recreate something or I don't know, Like it
Speaker 5: was just very like in the moment happening, so like,
Speaker 5: I don't when you talk about my faces, like I don't.
Speaker 5: I don't know what those work. You know, I did
Speaker 5: a lot of work and a lot of stuff. But
Speaker 5: then people saying the work is good, that's so meaningful
Speaker 5: and it's not like I've never had it to this
Speaker 5: magnetude that the people are saying the work is good
Speaker 5: like this, and so it's really nice. But also it
Speaker 5: feels like it feels like a dream and it feels
Speaker 5: like if I watch it, I'll be waking up from
Speaker 5: the dream and it's like I just want to sleep
Speaker 5: five more minutes. Like I just want to say, it's
Speaker 5: like the best dream I've ever had, and I just
Speaker 5: want to stay. So I'm just trying to just enjoy
Speaker 5: it all and go with it and try to be present.
Speaker 5: And it's awesome because then it'll be over and it
Speaker 5: doesn't always happen. And I feel so lucky that it
Speaker 5: happened to me. And it feels so lucky that like
Speaker 5: usually in a show, they would never cast me Carrie
Speaker 5: and Michelle, it would be one of us. I've never
Speaker 5: got gotten to work with those other two because there's
Speaker 5: only one of us who would get the job. They
Speaker 5: would never you know what I mean, it just doesn't happen.
Speaker 5: And then you get to do the job in all
Speaker 5: three of you are there and it's not like one
Speaker 5: person has the better part. Do you know which would
Speaker 5: be the other thing? Like you would just be like, oh, well,
Speaker 5: that's the lead and we're like the two best friends
Speaker 5: that maybe have one scene or something that might be
Speaker 5: cut to shreds to do something because you're just aiding
Speaker 5: the lead actor's story. And it's like somehow we all
Speaker 5: get our slice of the pie and it's amazing. It
Speaker 5: sometimes makes me want to cry, like it just feels
Speaker 5: as corny as that sounds, but it just it does
Speaker 5: not fall short on me that this is happening to
Speaker 5: me now in my life.
Speaker 3: No, actually, can I tell Can I tell them? Can
Speaker 3: I talk about We went to the Vanity Fair party
Speaker 3: and I for the Oscars this year and Leslie's like, oh,
Speaker 3: I was like, do you want some LSD? I had
Speaker 3: my microdose of course, and she's like ellisd oh my
Speaker 3: god no, and then she goes actually, she's like I'm
Speaker 3: just not going to drink for this period of time.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh why, and she said because
Speaker 3: I really want to be present for this experience that
Speaker 3: I'm having with white lotus in it coming out and
Speaker 3: I just want to experience this all. And I was like, wow,
Speaker 3: that is powerful, Like good for you for doing that,
Speaker 3: and I totally get that. You know, I don't know
Speaker 3: why you couldn't take some LSD because you were wouldn't
Speaker 3: be drinking, but whatever, I think that is. That's really
Speaker 3: like like a really beautiful way to handle it because
Speaker 3: it's not like you're sober, you drink, you have a
Speaker 3: good time, but like for periods in our life when
Speaker 3: we really do want to be there and not hungover
Speaker 3: and not have it and not and have complete mental
Speaker 3: clarity about what you're experiencing.
Speaker 5: Also too, do you ever have this? I don't know
Speaker 5: if you guts, But like when I go to those things,
Speaker 5: it's not like I'm like I'm one of a vanity
Speaker 5: fair party. I feel really in my body right now.
Speaker 5: It's like I'm like I haven't eaten all day. I'm
Speaker 5: like stuffing into your dress that's like a beautiful dressed
Speaker 5: and you can say, why are you picking up your dress?
Speaker 5: Let it hang? And I was like, I'm like a
Speaker 5: giraffe Chelsea, I'm gonna trip. I'm like, look graceful, but
Speaker 5: I'm not graceful, the truth of the thing is, And
Speaker 5: like I don't want to rip the dress. And then
Speaker 5: you've got your hair and your makeup and you're in
Speaker 5: these fucking shoes that are not comfortable, and like I
Speaker 5: feel like if I go there and I have a
Speaker 5: drink on top of it, I'm for sure going to
Speaker 5: face plant and like like and that's the first sure
Speaker 5: going to happen, Like I'm just gonna be But then
Speaker 5: but then, like you know, like Robert Daddy Junior came
Speaker 5: up to me at the Vanity Fair party and who
Speaker 5: I haven't seen in a long time? Who I did
Speaker 5: you know, Iron Man with And he was so kind
Speaker 5: and I was so happy that I was really there
Speaker 5: to have that conversation. And it's also like I think,
Speaker 5: like they're the highs that you want to be present for.
Speaker 5: But then when you're having a panic attack or an
Speaker 5: anxiety attack or feeling like you have imposter syndrome, that
Speaker 5: I go I don't think that glass of wine or
Speaker 5: that you know, margarita are going to be great for
Speaker 5: me right now. And it kind of happened after the
Speaker 5: fires because I was with Chelsea for the fires.
Speaker 1: And another night, another night, another night.
Speaker 5: And that happened like really fast, and we thought it
Speaker 5: was one thing. We thought like, oh, the palisades in
Speaker 5: your home was under threat, and like the critics' choice were.
Speaker 5: It was just like happening in real time, this information
Speaker 5: coming in of destruction to Los Angeles and everything sort
Speaker 5: of changing. And then we were sitting at a hotel
Speaker 5: having a drink, and then we had to evacuate our
Speaker 5: hotel and it was and I'd had a few drinks,
Speaker 5: like I was like pink cheeked and like, and the
Speaker 5: next morning I was like, oh this is not That
Speaker 5: was like sort of sobering to go, oh yeah, you
Speaker 5: got to you got to be present, Like it felt
Speaker 5: like a nice little wake up call.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was a crazy night. I was staying at
Speaker 3: one hotel. I went to go have drinks with her
Speaker 3: at the chateau. Then a fire broke out in the
Speaker 3: Hollywood Hills and we had to evacuate the chateau. And
Speaker 3: I used to the guy that runs the chateau, so
Speaker 3: I told everybody, I think I'm still missus chateau. So
Speaker 3: I went around and dismissed all of the staff. I'm like,
Speaker 3: everybody leave, everybody get out. I'm like, everybody all the
Speaker 3: everybody needs to check out of the hotel. Andre's like, Chelsea,
Speaker 3: just don't panic. I'm like, everyone go to. Let's go
Speaker 3: to And then we got in our car.
Speaker 5: If I didn't have you, I would I didn't have
Speaker 5: I don't have a car when I'm in Los Angeles, Like,
Speaker 5: I don't know what do you call an uber in
Speaker 5: a time like that? I don't think so like Sunset Buleivar,
Speaker 5: and we had Greg Williams, who's an amazing photographer who
Speaker 5: was there, who had just done like the clothes and
Speaker 5: was going to do the critics' choice. And then we
Speaker 5: had Michael Wincott, who is a actor who's somewhat reclusive
Speaker 5: and was living at the chateau, and we grabbed him.
Speaker 5: And then it was like I was like, this is
Speaker 5: a short film.
Speaker 6: Like what.
Speaker 1: I was like, let's go.
Speaker 3: I'm like we should head to San Diego And they're
Speaker 3: like san Diego and I'm like, I mean, Leslie's like,
Speaker 3: what about Newport Beach?
Speaker 1: Why would we go all the way to Santiago. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. But I think we should go to
Speaker 1: San Diego. There are fires coming from every direction.
Speaker 3: Well, we ended up going back to my hotel and
Speaker 3: all of us just ended up drinking and being stupid
Speaker 3: because we didn't know what else to fucking.
Speaker 1: Do and we were a band of random idiots.
Speaker 3: Anyway, we have to get to one caller at least
Speaker 3: for this episode before we shoot the shit any longer.
Speaker 1: We're going to take a caller, Leslie. Are you ready? Yeah, yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're gonna give We're going to give advice. Yes.
Speaker 2: Our first caller is Shannon, and I feel like this
Speaker 2: question is particularly appropriate because there were so many age
Speaker 2: gap relationships represented in Waite.
Speaker 4: Lotus this season.
Speaker 2: Specifically, Shannon says, Dear Chelsea, I'm thirty four years old
Speaker 2: and I'm married to an eighty year old man whoa
Speaker 2: From the outside, it might look like I have security,
Speaker 2: but the truth is far more complicated. I met him
Speaker 2: when I was eighteen. He was supposed to be a
Speaker 2: safety net, not a husband. One choice led to another,
Speaker 2: and before I knew it, I had built a life
Speaker 2: that does not feel like mine. The thing is, he
Speaker 2: loves me, he always has, but I cannot love him
Speaker 2: back and yet I stay. I stay because leaving impossible.
Speaker 2: I stay because I've made choices that make walking away
Speaker 2: more complicated than staying.
Speaker 4: But most of all, I stay because.
Speaker 2: Of my two Golden Retrievers, who are twelve and thirteen
Speaker 2: years old. They've been my constant through every twist and turn,
Speaker 2: and I do not know what I am without them.
Speaker 2: I'm not lost, I'm not weak, but I am stuck. Shannon, whoa,
Speaker 2: and then she'll be joining us here to chat.
Speaker 3: Shannon, this is Leslie, our special guest today. Hi, Leslie
Speaker 3: Bibb say Hi, Hi, how are you?
Speaker 5: Hi?
Speaker 6: I'm good?
Speaker 5: How are you?
Speaker 4: I'm a fan?
Speaker 5: Hi? Thank you so much, Shannon. That letter was really
Speaker 5: incredibly open and vulnerable. It's very cool.
Speaker 6: It's a little vague.
Speaker 2: So well, I do want to clarify one thing, because
Speaker 2: you know, you said that you guys met at when
Speaker 2: you were eighteen, but you had sort of been working
Speaker 2: for his ex in like a work capacity, so it
Speaker 2: wasn't like you started dating him when you were.
Speaker 6: Eighteen, right, No, never, never did I ever date him.
Speaker 6: There was no dating. There was no sugar baby, sugar
Speaker 6: daddy like relationship, nothing like that. He just was always
Speaker 6: a caretaker or like some backup security for me because
Speaker 6: I just don't have like family and whatnot. And this
Speaker 6: was a long time ago, and I just became dependent
Speaker 6: on him.
Speaker 5: Would you say you're a dependent emotionally? Do you feel
Speaker 5: like that he filled some void for you emotionally?
Speaker 6: I'm not. It's it sounds so like messed up but
Speaker 6: not really like he was a friend. But like when
Speaker 6: I tell you, like, for years he was supposed to
Speaker 6: be the guy that walked me down the aisle, like
Speaker 6: in replace of my dad, because I don't have one,
Speaker 6: and he caught major feelings for me, and I thought
Speaker 6: that marrying him would make my life easier, and it
Speaker 6: has made my life way worse.
Speaker 1: How so, how so, how's it made your life worse?
Speaker 6: Well, I've always been independent, Like I've always been a
Speaker 6: very hard worker and always like took care of myself.
Speaker 6: But you know, I have these two dogs, and sometimes
Speaker 6: emergencies would happen and he would always help me. And
Speaker 6: then next thing, you know, like the pandemic happened and
Speaker 6: he was always just helping me out. And then it
Speaker 6: resulted in him falling in love with me, and I
Speaker 6: thought that okay, well fine, if we get married, he
Speaker 6: can have, you know, companionship and not die alone. And
Speaker 6: I thought I could be somewhat able to like get
Speaker 6: my life together and go back to college and all
Speaker 6: those things. And no, he wants us to be a
Speaker 6: real deal married couple. And it's like I thought, by
Speaker 6: being introduced as his wife would be enough and just
Speaker 6: spending the majority of my time with him and all
Speaker 6: these things. But he wants one thing and one thing only.
Speaker 6: And that's really what has happened since we got married.
Speaker 1: He wants sex.
Speaker 6: Yeah, he wants intimacy, he wants to make out, and
Speaker 6: I am like, absolutely not and that's never been how
Speaker 6: our relationship was. And wow, do I say or do
Speaker 6: I try to plan? I like to go, but both
Speaker 6: seem extremely impossible. And it's as if I'm living tell
Speaker 6: my dogs die, which is like a sick way to live.
Speaker 6: And these dogs mean the world to me, and it's
Speaker 6: it's almost impossible to take care of two big dogs,
Speaker 6: you know, by yourself. So I didn't know I had
Speaker 6: to sacrifice so much.
Speaker 3: I don't think it's impossible to take care of two
Speaker 3: big dogs by yourself. I don't think that's I mean,
Speaker 3: you're dealing with an eighty year old man. You know, yeah,
Speaker 3: do you have a job?
Speaker 6: Well, I currently I don't and I did not have
Speaker 6: one when I married him. So and I've always been
Speaker 6: a bartender, and like for ten years, I've just been
Speaker 6: a bartender. And that's the only source of money I
Speaker 6: know how to make.
Speaker 1: And that's that's good. You can do that, though, that's
Speaker 1: a source of income. That's good. You're capable of doing that.
Speaker 6: Yes, I am capable of doing that. So it's just
Speaker 6: like I'm dependent on him for everything, and I currently
Speaker 6: just like a hot mess. Like and I did get
Speaker 6: a job when we first got married, and it gets
Speaker 6: so emotionally taxic that it's like he expects me to
Speaker 6: take off work to drive him to whatever appointments he needs,
Speaker 6: and I get so emotionally distressed that I at this
Speaker 6: point in my life, I am not, like I don't
Speaker 6: trust myself to be reliable, not for a job. Like
Speaker 6: I married him to basically be able to just like
Speaker 6: take care of him and our home and the dogs
Speaker 6: and be his wife. But I didn't know he wanted
Speaker 6: all of the things a wife comes with.
Speaker 1: So are you in a sexual relationship with him now?
Speaker 6: Absolutely not? No, never, happen never once. And that's the
Speaker 6: thing that like no one believes me, and well.
Speaker 5: Who cares if they believe you? I mean, it's like
Speaker 5: that's like a mood point. It's like you can think
Speaker 5: whatever the heck you want, you have no control over that.
Speaker 5: But I think the bigger thing, I just feel like
Speaker 5: there's two things happening. You have sort of like you
Speaker 5: have to look at, like why you got into this,
Speaker 5: which is you're probably seeking some sort of security, something
Speaker 5: that probably maybe you did not feel in your life,
Speaker 5: some sort of self worth that you didn't have for
Speaker 5: yourself so you thought, and which is common. That's not
Speaker 5: a judgment that I'm saying that. I'm just saying you
Speaker 5: all seek. All of this is coming from a non
Speaker 5: judgment place. It's just we make these choices. We've all
Speaker 5: done it, everybody, so nobody can. We've all done versions
Speaker 5: of this, like where you've picked the wrong person or
Speaker 5: you think I'm gonna pick this person because they feel
Speaker 5: safe or they feel this, or you feel that, and
Speaker 5: then you get down that road and you're like, oh,
Speaker 5: not what I thought, not and it's unsafe, and then
Speaker 5: you start the ball starts rolling that way and you
Speaker 5: think in your head it's too complicated, and you start
Speaker 5: to come up with these reasons why you can't go, Oh,
Speaker 5: I can pull the shoot, I can leave, you know,
Speaker 5: taking care of two dogs. You can do that. You
Speaker 5: can do that.
Speaker 6: That's yes.
Speaker 5: But the thing is, that's what you're telling yourself. You
Speaker 5: need to look at what's really underneath, which is it's
Speaker 5: scary because you haven't had a job probably in a
Speaker 5: long time. I would feel that, you know, you probably
Speaker 5: have not had a job in a long time, and
Speaker 5: you're like, where's that money going to come from? There's
Speaker 5: probably maybe even on some subconscious level, he does give
Speaker 5: you some sort of sense of security, yes, and whether
Speaker 5: you want it, because it's easy to be like no,
Speaker 5: it's this and it's this, but maybe there is some
Speaker 5: version where he does make you feel okay, and maybe
Speaker 5: you don't have to be vulnerable with somebody else because
Speaker 5: to be single and to be out there, you have
Speaker 5: to be open and you have to like you this
Speaker 5: is the devil, you know, right?
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, so it's very scary to go.
Speaker 5: I don't know what the fuck is out there.
Speaker 6: That's where I'm kind of at. I feel like, yeah,
Speaker 6: like I don't know I've always had him as a backup.
Speaker 6: I've had rent and all, and I've had jobs, Chelsea
Speaker 6: and all the things, but like he's always been I've
Speaker 6: never really had everything on my own. He's always been
Speaker 6: there to help me. So that's kind of what's keeping
Speaker 6: me here because it's scary, exactly.
Speaker 2: It is scary, and I feel like what you're feeling
Speaker 2: like it is easier to kind of stay put because
Speaker 2: of inertia and just because that's what you've known. But
Speaker 2: I feel like what is coming up for you is
Speaker 2: that you have outgrown needing somebody else to like do
Speaker 2: this for you, and like being able to go out
Speaker 2: and get a job. It's not like leave him tomorrow
Speaker 2: and take the dogs. It can be a transition, you know,
Speaker 2: you can look at getting a job, initiating some of
Speaker 2: that stability for yourself before you know, having that conversation
Speaker 2: about maybe I want to.
Speaker 4: Move out or maybe I want to do this.
Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing,
Speaker 2: but it sounds like you're kind of out growing this
Speaker 2: and you're getting to a point where you might not
Speaker 2: need this anymore.
Speaker 5: I think also, we have to watch it's so easy
Speaker 5: to be like we tell ourselves the truth that we want.
Speaker 5: It's like his schedule keeps me from having a job.
Speaker 5: That's I mean, you could get You could be like, hey,
Speaker 5: I need you to make your doctor's appointments, and I'm
Speaker 5: sure you probably help him make his doctor's appointment because
Speaker 5: he's eighty to go. We're going to schedule your doctor's
Speaker 5: appointments from twelve to five. I'm going to go and
Speaker 5: I'm going to take a job at night, and I'm
Speaker 5: going to bar tend once a week or twice a week,
Speaker 5: and I go to work at six o'clock to midnight.
Speaker 5: And that's how you do. But you have to be
Speaker 5: you have to be the captain of your ship. You
Speaker 5: have to want to really want to do this because
Speaker 5: it's gonna be uncomfortable. It's gonna be a lot of unknowns,
Speaker 5: and your apartment might not be as nice or your
Speaker 5: home might not be as nice as it is. And
Speaker 5: you know, dogs they're fine. The fact that they're not
Speaker 5: in a shelter. They're having a great life. Your dogs
Speaker 5: are twelve and thirteen. They don't need to walk much.
Speaker 5: They like you take them on two good walks. You
Speaker 5: give them love, you give them their treats. You know,
Speaker 5: maybe get a shitty apartment that has a backyard so
Speaker 5: the poochies can be out there. I mean, I just
Speaker 5: know that, like when you really do want to change,
Speaker 5: you will make that change. But I think it's you
Speaker 5: have to also really look. You know, somebody can want
Speaker 5: everything from you, but it's like you have to said
Speaker 5: what you're willing to give, so he can't take anything
Speaker 5: from you that you're not giving. It's about sort of
Speaker 5: also meeting him and going, huh, what am I doing?
Speaker 5: What am I looking for?
Speaker 6: Work?
Speaker 5: And take all the judgment everybody's freaking opinions out of it.
Speaker 5: It's really easy to cast Look at the white loaders.
Speaker 5: All we do is talk about each other exactly. You know,
Speaker 5: we're all throwing stones from glasshouses.
Speaker 3: You know, what's your financial situation with him? Does he
Speaker 3: just supply you with money? Do you have access to money? Like,
Speaker 3: what's the deal?
Speaker 5: Though?
Speaker 6: He controls everything? Like I have to ask for everything,
Speaker 6: And it's a bunch of like withholding money. If we
Speaker 6: get into a fight and he's still an active attorney,
Speaker 6: like he still works every day and stuff like that,
Speaker 6: and he has a serious temper, So it's like is
Speaker 6: he abusive emotionally and the way he yells and scares
Speaker 6: my dogs? And then so this does he scare you
Speaker 6: sometimes in like his like threats, like with what he
Speaker 6: can do legally, Like if I like don't like if
Speaker 6: I kiss him off, he you'll be like, I'll get
Speaker 6: you out of here, like he's stuff like that. But no,
Speaker 6: I'm not like scared of him. Like it's as if
Speaker 6: I was in a relationship married to someone my own
Speaker 6: age and this is how he treated me, it would
Speaker 6: be different.
Speaker 5: But why but why why would it be different?
Speaker 6: Because I think I do know that I am able
Speaker 6: to like just be nice to him and like you know,
Speaker 6: kind of like mask it and flirt it and I
Speaker 6: and I'll be able to like somewhat get my way.
Speaker 6: But that's just not the girl I am. And I thought,
Speaker 6: I guess when I married him that i'd be able
Speaker 6: to like kind of schooze myself a little bit. And
Speaker 6: you know, I don't even let him sleep in my
Speaker 6: bed like at all, and it's that's just it's a
Speaker 6: never ending circle. So I guess now my question would
Speaker 6: be like, Okay, you guys, thank you very much. It's
Speaker 6: validated that like I am capable of leaving. But do
Speaker 6: I sneak making money? Do I sneak getting out of here?
Speaker 6: Like do I talk? Because like he doesn't take divorce
Speaker 6: or anything very well, if that makes sense, I don't know, ChEls,
Speaker 6: what do you think.
Speaker 3: I think that you have to take a step every
Speaker 3: single day to get out of that situation. I think
Speaker 3: that you need to go out actively and get a job.
Speaker 3: Go get a burtending job, find a place to work.
Speaker 3: It's not a question. It's not up for debate with him,
Speaker 3: And that's to tell him that you're going to get
Speaker 3: a job. You have to make your own money. You
Speaker 3: don't like being controlled with the money. You have to
Speaker 3: prepare yourself for when he's no longer here. He's eighty
Speaker 3: years old, you're thirty four years old. So you have
Speaker 3: to figure out a way to get your life back
Speaker 3: in your own hands. And regardless of his reaction, I'm
Speaker 3: not concerned about your dogs, Like you can take care
Speaker 3: of two dogs, of course you can. Millions of people
Speaker 3: do it. Millions of single people have more than one animal.
Speaker 3: You know, Like, that's not an issue. You think that's
Speaker 3: the issue because that's the only reality you've known. You
Speaker 3: have a chance to actually like grab life by the
Speaker 3: balls and live your life.
Speaker 1: Truly and holy and do what you want. So I
Speaker 1: understand it. It's not going to have and overnight.
Speaker 3: You're not going to walk out the door today and say, okay,
Speaker 3: we're getting a divorce. But you can walk out the
Speaker 3: door today and go get a job, and go fill
Speaker 3: out an application and go to a restaurant and say
Speaker 3: do you need a bartender? Go to a bar, find
Speaker 3: a job and start working. And that's the first step.
Speaker 3: And then the second step will be to start saving
Speaker 3: money and working more.
Speaker 1: And it's not up to him.
Speaker 3: When you work, you'll be available for his You know,
Speaker 3: you can make the situation amenable to him in a
Speaker 3: way where you if he's working every day, then what
Speaker 3: you could be doing. You could be working during the
Speaker 3: day too. You don't have to just be a bartender.
Speaker 3: You could go work a at Starbucks, you could go
Speaker 3: work at a coffee shop.
Speaker 1: What's to stop you from doing that? You know, like,
Speaker 1: you have to go get.
Speaker 3: A job first of all, because that is going to
Speaker 3: provide you with the self worth that you're going to
Speaker 3: need to have the kahunas to actually exit from this situation.
Speaker 1: This is not a healthy situation that you're in.
Speaker 3: It sounds very limiting emotionally, psychologically, and every other way possibly.
Speaker 3: You know, you're a young, vibrant woman who needs to
Speaker 3: live a life, and so every step you should be
Speaker 3: taking should be in the direction of that life and
Speaker 3: pursuing that life. And if he says he doesn't want
Speaker 3: you to get a job, then then you have to
Speaker 3: say to him, well, that's what's gonna happen. If you
Speaker 3: want to divorce me because I want to work, then
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm being controlled, then you're gonna have
Speaker 3: to divorce me. And you have to mean it. You're
Speaker 3: not gonna end up outside on the street. You're gonna
Speaker 3: go get a job. That's what you're gonna do, whether
Speaker 3: it's today or tomorrow. I want to hear from you
Speaker 3: that that's what you're gonna do.
Speaker 6: Yes, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: You need to get your life.
Speaker 3: You're not living your life right now, you're living someone
Speaker 3: else's life, So you have to go out there every day.
Speaker 3: I want you to write this down too, that you
Speaker 3: are strong and that you are powerful and that you
Speaker 3: are resilient. Write that down and put it in front
Speaker 3: of you. And when you wake up every morning, read
Speaker 3: that to yourself. I am strong, I am powerful, and
Speaker 3: I am resilient, and go get that job. Start work,
Speaker 3: and if you don't get the first five jobs you
Speaker 3: apply for, keep going because you're strong, you're powerful.
Speaker 1: And you're resilient, and you're going to get one of them.
Speaker 1: And then you're gonna get that job.
Speaker 3: You're going to start working and you're going to start
Speaker 3: to feel the self forth that comes from making a
Speaker 3: living and that you are an independent, free person that
Speaker 3: you can do independent free things.
Speaker 1: No one has.
Speaker 3: Control over you, but you you have allowed this person
Speaker 3: to take control over you. You made some of these decisions
Speaker 3: that got you into this mess, and now you're going
Speaker 3: to make the decisions that get you out of this mess. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and it's just a matter of time before you have
Speaker 3: you have enough money before you're going to meet people
Speaker 3: at work. You might meet somebody that you can live with,
Speaker 3: you might meet a roommate. These are all probable situations.
Speaker 3: Once you start saving money, you can start looking into
Speaker 3: who where you want to live, getting an apartment, living
Speaker 3: with other people. It's okay to downsize, It's okay to
Speaker 3: go through some difficult times as a transition out of
Speaker 3: this life. What you are in search and pursuit of
Speaker 3: is freedom. You don't have your freedom right now. So
Speaker 3: you're going to get off of this call and you're
Speaker 3: going to find your freedom. You're going to take one
Speaker 3: step every single day. You were going to take one
Speaker 3: step in the direction of getting your life back to
Speaker 3: a place where you're making decisions for yourself. And then
Speaker 3: you're gonna take your dogs with you when you leave.
Speaker 6: Hell yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yeah, no. I needed to
Speaker 6: hear that. I did.
Speaker 3: So when this episode comes out, I want you to
Speaker 3: play this episode and you write down all of these
Speaker 3: things I'm saying to you. You need to wake up
Speaker 3: every morning and talk to yourself in a way that
Speaker 3: you have not been talking to yourself. You're independent and
Speaker 3: you can be free. Okay you are. We're not living
Speaker 3: in this I mean, we are living in a little
Speaker 3: bit of a fucked up world right now. But you
Speaker 3: still have your freedom, so fucking get it while you can.
Speaker 3: You have a whole life to live without him. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 3: and you have sex to go have. You have to
Speaker 3: go have sex with people.
Speaker 6: I know. I know I miss that too, trust me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So come on, like you know, what to do?
Speaker 3: You know what the answer is here. You have to
Speaker 3: listen to yourself. Yeah, you're gonna want progress.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna want progress reports from you. Okay, yeah, no, Yeah.
Speaker 6: That's okay. That's that's what I was hoping for.
Speaker 5: It's okay. You're gonna have some days. It's not gonna
Speaker 5: be fucking sunshine. And like what Chelsea said, like you
Speaker 5: might not get the first job or the second job,
Speaker 5: but you have to. I think what she's saying about
Speaker 5: writing those things down, it's true. When she just said it,
Speaker 5: didn't you feel like I can fucking do it.
Speaker 6: She may push play this fucking.
Speaker 5: Podcast in your ear like on a loop and hear
Speaker 5: her voice in your head because you can do anything,
Speaker 5: and you're what you tell yourself is very powerful. And
Speaker 5: don't throw out baby steps for like what's giant steps?
Speaker 5: You know, it's like little compounding, Like little small steps
Speaker 5: can make a giant one.
Speaker 3: Yes, And also just remember every single just because you
Speaker 3: haven't exerted your powerfulness and being an empowered woman up
Speaker 3: until hair. You know, maybe in moments you have been,
Speaker 3: but all over like you have a reservoir of resilience
Speaker 3: inside of you that you have not tapped into yet.
Speaker 3: Do not doubt the power of being a woman. Don't
Speaker 3: ever doubt yourself. Okay, you can doubt yourself for a
Speaker 3: minute or here and there, but you always have to
Speaker 3: come back to the idea that I can do this.
Speaker 3: I can do this, and you're going to show yourself
Speaker 3: with every step. So next week I want you to
Speaker 3: send to Catherine and me a list of the places
Speaker 3: you've applied, what happened, Which jobs have you gotten, any
Speaker 3: job opportunities? Have you accepted a job? Let us know
Speaker 3: and check in so you can be accountable to us. Okay,
Speaker 3: because we'll be here for you.
Speaker 6: That's amazing.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah, absolutely, I mean it. I mean it.
Speaker 3: We're going to get you out of this situation and
Speaker 3: we're going to get you out of it in a good.
Speaker 1: Positive, healthy way.
Speaker 3: Okay, because you need to be surrounded by other things
Speaker 3: other than this.
Speaker 1: This is not this is not the way to go
Speaker 1: through life.
Speaker 4: Deserve more.
Speaker 6: Thank you very much. Like I don't know if that's
Speaker 6: like why that's what I needed, But I am very capable.
Speaker 1: You are than you are, Yes, yes you are okay,
Speaker 1: all right.
Speaker 4: Cool Shannon, thank you and we'll be in touch Okay.
Speaker 3: Bye, Shannon, Bye, Thank you so much.
Speaker 5: Got that for sure.
Speaker 6: Bye talk soon, bye bye.
Speaker 3: Okay, we're going to take a break and be right
Speaker 3: back to wrap up with Leslie Bib.
Speaker 1: And we're back with Leslie Bib. What a whoopsie doodle
Speaker 1: that was fuck, oh my god.
Speaker 5: You know, Chelsey, it's remarkable and I'm not blowing smoke
Speaker 5: up your ass, but like it's remarkable, like the way
Speaker 5: you make people and especially women feel like we can
Speaker 5: do anything and that we've got this and you're this force,
Speaker 5: this power, and the way you're so smart and you're
Speaker 5: so funny and you're so quick, and you've got this
Speaker 5: enormous heart, and like the grace you gave that young
Speaker 5: woman and the great advice you gave her, and you
Speaker 5: just feel like you can do anything with You're such
Speaker 5: an amazing person to have in your corner. It's really
Speaker 5: You're You're You're an extraordinary person. You really are.
Speaker 3: Thank you right back right back at you, lay right
Speaker 3: back at you, and you too, Catherine, look back at you.
Speaker 4: Likewise, Yeah, let's great advice today.
Speaker 1: Yeah you did, you did you great? You brought it.
Speaker 1: You brought it.
Speaker 5: Like that's a heavy thing, Like because you tell yourself
Speaker 5: you make this choice when you're a kid. I was married.
Speaker 5: I married somebody, and I just thought, like I picked
Speaker 5: the guy who was right on paper, he wasn't that
Speaker 5: great to me. It was like all the things we
Speaker 5: were we were not suited. He wanted like a giraffe,
Speaker 5: you know, he wanted a zebra, and I'm a giraffe.
Speaker 5: And it's like I just thought, you know, I think
Speaker 5: women think we think we can just like compartmentalize and
Speaker 5: I can beat this and I can do this, and
Speaker 5: I can sort of fragment myself enough to make everybody
Speaker 5: happy and instead of saying, no, this isn't what makes
Speaker 5: me happy and like sort of that to go back
Speaker 5: to Mike, to live your life unapologetically.
Speaker 3: Well, I appreciate everything you said, and I appreciate you,
Speaker 3: and I I'm so happy for your success. I'm so
Speaker 3: excited for you and all of the things that are
Speaker 3: to come, and I just can't wait to see you
Speaker 3: again in persons, And thank you for being here on
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea.
Speaker 1: You were awesome.
Speaker 5: We loved thanks.
Speaker 4: And you made great faces too.
Speaker 3: Yes, best faces, best faces on the show, Leslie bit everybody.
Speaker 5: All right, guys, thank you so much. I'll see you later, Chess.
Speaker 1: Okay, have a great day.
Speaker 3: Hi bye, Do do do Do Do do drum roll
Speaker 3: Catherine please Chelsea Handler abroad. Abroad is my European tour.
Speaker 3: So I'm coming to obviously find.
Speaker 1: A husband abroad.
Speaker 3: I need to get the help out of this fucking
Speaker 3: country and it's not as easy as you think. So
Speaker 3: I'm coming to Rekuvic, I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming
Speaker 3: to the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast.
Speaker 1: In May and June.
Speaker 3: I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,
Speaker 3: New Zurich, Vienna. I've ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona, Lisbon.
Speaker 3: I'm coming abroad.
Speaker 4: Is abroad that sounds like fun.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go see you abroad.
Speaker 3: I right out. I want to go see me abroad
Speaker 3: and there all be, there all be upcoming Vegas, States,
Speaker 3: April eighteenth, July fifth, August thirtieth, November one and twenty
Speaker 3: ninth at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.
Speaker 2: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
Speaker 2: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
Speaker 2: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 2: and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Catherine Law and
Speaker 2: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
Speaker 2: com