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Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.

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Speaker 2: I have a question for you. When did you have

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Speaker 2: time to film another special?

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Speaker 1: I filmed the stand up special. It's out.

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Speaker 3: It's streaming, you guys. It came out Tuesday. Today is Thursday.

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Speaker 3: It's called The Feeling. It's on Netflix, and it's my

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Speaker 3: favorite stand up special ever, amazing. My book came out

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Speaker 3: February twenty fifth. I'll have what she's having. My book

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Speaker 3: came out March twenty fifth, So can you wait? Shit

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Speaker 3: shit book specials?

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Speaker 1: And guess what's coming out April twenty fifth.

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Speaker 4: What's out?

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Speaker 1: Something else? Anyway, please watch my special on Netflix.

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Speaker 3: It means a lot to me for people to watch it,

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Speaker 3: and it means a lot to me to have all

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Speaker 3: these people buying my books and sending me all these

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Speaker 3: dms which I'm reading. I'm reading all of them, and

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Speaker 3: I'm calling in to some book clubs. By the way,

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Speaker 3: if you are doing a book club with my book

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Speaker 3: and you have owls brew, I am calling. I'm going

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Speaker 3: to zoom in if you dm me. I have three

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Speaker 3: book clubs set up already. April second is the day

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Speaker 3: that I'm going to be doing it. So if you

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Speaker 3: hear this and you want in on that action. Make

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Speaker 3: it happen, and DM me and I will try to

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Speaker 3: schedule you into my April second night.

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Speaker 1: Awesome.

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Speaker 2: So DM on Instagram right, DM me directly on Instagram. Okay,

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Speaker 2: awesome and what else? Oh, Vegas, Vegas. I just had

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Speaker 2: another Vegas weekend which was epics. I did not win

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Speaker 2: money this weekend. I have to be honest. I broke even.

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Speaker 4: That's not bad.

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Speaker 1: No, I broke even, and that's a wind to be

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Speaker 1: because you're renting a good time. But I had.

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Speaker 3: My Vegas weekends have been so much fun because so

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Speaker 3: many random friends of mine show up.

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Speaker 1: Ye friends from Texas shown up.

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Speaker 3: I had three friends from La show up, My sister came,

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Speaker 3: my friends from Tahoe came.

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Speaker 1: It was a blast.

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Speaker 3: And so April eighteenth is my next Vegas date, and

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Speaker 3: then after that it's July fifth. So April eighteenth and

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Speaker 3: July fifth and then August thirtieth, So come and have

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Speaker 3: a fun party with me at the Cosmo. It has

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Speaker 3: been a real blast, a surprising blast. And I'm also

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Speaker 3: doing a bunch of European dates. If you go to

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Speaker 3: Chelsea Handler dot com. I'm coming to Europe and starting

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Speaker 3: in Rekuvic all the way through Lisbon at.

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Speaker 1: The beginning of May, May and June. Great. Okay, our

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Speaker 1: guest today is a friend of mine. She is very fun.

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Speaker 3: She stars on the current season of White Lotus and

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Speaker 3: she just wrapped filming Palm Royal season two.

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Speaker 1: Please welcome Leslie Bib.

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Speaker 3: Hi.

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Speaker 5: How are you h Hello?

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Speaker 1: Hello, Lesly Bib? Is this Leslie Bib? Is this really you?

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Speaker 6: Hi?

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Speaker 5: So it's like you're looking like this at me. Hi?

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Speaker 1: I know, I know.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, we're in a fake podcast. Well, not a fake

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Speaker 3: podcast studio.

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Speaker 1: We're not. We are in a fake podcast studio.

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Speaker 6: I know.

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Speaker 3: The cameras are set in weird directions. So pretend I'm

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Speaker 3: looking at you. Okay, my god, this is.

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Speaker 5: So oh there we go.

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Speaker 6: That's a much better.

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Speaker 5: Thank Can I have this? That's so much better because

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Speaker 5: I feel like we're talking to each other now, we're

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Speaker 5: looking at each other.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but you've seen me look at your face before.

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Speaker 3: Just go back to that time and pretend that's what's happening.

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Speaker 5: Do that. I'm not that good of an actor. Hold on,

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Speaker 5: I have to throw something away.

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Speaker 3: Hi, chelfs Hi, honey, we just did a podcast with

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Speaker 3: your buddy Michelle Monahan.

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Speaker 5: Hi, isn't she lovely?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: The loveliest I love. I'm jealous that I wasn't on

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Speaker 3: set with both of you. I told her that, well,

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Speaker 3: the three of us are going to all do something.

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Speaker 3: We're going to do dinner. Yeah, Leslie Bib.

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Speaker 5: Where are you? Are you in fucking Canada?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 5: My god?

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Speaker 3: Would you let me ask you a fucking question? I mean,

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Speaker 3: who cares where I am?

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Speaker 5: It's important to me. I love you.

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Speaker 3: I'm in Beverly Hills at some podcast studio because my

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Speaker 3: house is not done and I have another four months

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Speaker 3: of construction, so I had to move back out of

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Speaker 3: my house and now I'm staying at a friend's house.

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Speaker 5: I find it interesting that you are, to me, one

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Speaker 5: of the most powerful women I've ever met. Like, there's

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Speaker 5: just like you have like a woo about you, and

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Speaker 5: the fact that this has run new wagon.

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Speaker 3: I don't even talk about it anymore. It's too stupid.

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Speaker 3: I refuse to even give it my time of day.

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Speaker 3: I just I said to someone, I'm like, what kind

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Speaker 3: of karma? They're like, this is not your karma. I go,

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Speaker 3: it really feels like my karma. But anyway, I have

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Speaker 3: too many good things in my life to worry about

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Speaker 3: this fucking house.

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Speaker 1: I can't wait to get rid of it. If anyone

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Speaker 1: wants to buy my house, let me know it'll be

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Speaker 1: in perfect shape by the time you fucking get your

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Speaker 1: hands on it.

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Speaker 5: Oat.

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Speaker 3: Listen, by the time this comes out, more episodes of

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Speaker 3: White Lotus will have come out. So but we're gonna

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Speaker 3: focus on the one that we all saw last night

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Speaker 3: or two nights ago now, episode number five, right, Yes, it.

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Speaker 1: Was episode five. Are there eight episodes?

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Speaker 5: There are eight episodes. There are eight of Okay, I

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Speaker 5: can answer that.

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Speaker 1: First of all, it was the episode with your lover.

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Speaker 3: Sam Rockwell was in it with an incredible monologue.

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Speaker 1: Incredible monologue that starts. I mean, it was just it was.

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Speaker 3: I mean, there was a Time magazine article about it

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Speaker 3: about that monologue.

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Speaker 1: Yes that you sent me.

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Speaker 3: That was awesome and actually really I felt the same

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Speaker 3: when I watched that monologue.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, this is what Mike White thinks, Like.

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Speaker 3: This is either how Mike White feels and things. Because

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Speaker 3: that monologue, no one could write something like that except

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Speaker 3: I thought maybe Sam Rockwell could. I'm like, you know what,

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Speaker 3: Sam might have come in with this monologue and said, listen,

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Speaker 3: I have a piece that I want to put in

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Speaker 3: the show.

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Speaker 5: I don't think. I don't know if anybody who writes

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Speaker 5: quite like Mike Mike White does like stuff like that, confrontational,

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Speaker 5: that confronting, that subversive, that sort of not nothing he

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Speaker 5: does is like dinner table conversation, you know, and the

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Speaker 5: way he I haven't seen the episode, but the fact

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Speaker 5: that Sam just does it like he's saying past the assault,

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Speaker 5: and there's something about that because it's his truth. And

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Speaker 5: I feel like if Kate and Laurie and Jacqueline, the

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Speaker 5: three women like, are are the ladies? If the ladies

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Speaker 5: had come in and just been like, my life is

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Speaker 5: a disaster, my marriage is this, or I lost my job,

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Speaker 5: I think I'm drinking too much or whatever their shit was,

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Speaker 5: and it just talked about it and been vulnerable and

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Speaker 5: sort of unapologetic about what's going on in their life,

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Speaker 5: it would have been a very different vacation for them.

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Speaker 5: But instead they couldn't do that. And so when I

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Speaker 5: read all eight episodes and I got to that monologue

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Speaker 5: for Frank, I remember feeling like, oh, this is Mike's

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Speaker 5: this is like the essence of the show. This is

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Speaker 5: what he's saying, like what we should try to aspire

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Speaker 5: to And as it goes on, you'll see that, you know,

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Speaker 5: things can be very hard to hold on to. And

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Speaker 5: I don't know, I don't know if Frank does such

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Speaker 5: a good job with his sobriety or any of it.

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Speaker 1: Right, so, right, right, right right?

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Speaker 3: So how well, by the way, how did Sam So?

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Speaker 3: How was it because of you that Sam also got

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Speaker 3: in the show? Or was it completely separate.

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Speaker 5: Completely separate? The person that they had first gone to

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Speaker 5: couldn't do it anymore because we had pushed and pushed,

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Speaker 5: and we'd just gone over and weather and whatever. We

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Speaker 5: had gone long and Sam was doing a movie in

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Speaker 5: South Africa and it was never going to time out.

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Speaker 5: Like they had said something to me early on, like

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Speaker 5: what if this were to happen, and I was like,

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Speaker 5: I don't think it's going to happen because he's shooting

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Speaker 5: this big movie and he looks like an unhoused person

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Speaker 5: in this movie. You'll never be able to like, he

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Speaker 5: can't do both. And also Sam is not that actor.

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Speaker 5: He won't sort of double team like that. He'll be

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Speaker 5: like he needs prep time. And then we pushed so

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Speaker 5: much that he was ending his movie and he had

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Speaker 5: like a week and a half between, so technically he

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Speaker 5: could do it, but it was he really fretted with

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Speaker 5: the idea of doing it. I think he knew that

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Speaker 5: that monologue was a beast. It's not something you just go, okay,

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Speaker 5: I'm going to do it, you know, you just, on

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Speaker 5: top of just being prepared with just being off book

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Speaker 5: and ready, you have to do the deep emotional prep

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Speaker 5: of what that means. And Sam's got a very specific process.

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Speaker 5: And so when they said they were going to offer

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Speaker 5: it to him, I remember Dave Bernad was walking through

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Speaker 5: one of the hotels we were shooting in and I

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Speaker 5: was on the treadmill and I waved at him and

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Speaker 5: I said come here, and he came in. He goes,

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Speaker 5: did you hear? And I said yeah, I said listen,

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Speaker 5: if he doesn't do it, you and Mike can't get

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Speaker 5: mad at me like that jet plan's going to fly.

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Speaker 5: I can't ground it like that that's going one way

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Speaker 5: and I'm not. So he was like, no, no, we

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Speaker 5: won't get mad at you, and then he hemmed in

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Speaker 5: had But then he eventually did it, And so.

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Speaker 3: I can't imagine anyone else doing that, but Sam Rockwell's

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Speaker 3: I agree with you as soon as.

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Speaker 1: I saw him in it, which I don't. I don't. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know he was going to be in that.

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Speaker 5: I kept it a secret. Can you believe it?

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Speaker 1: I know, I know you guys are good at keeping secrets.

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Speaker 1: You guys are good. I mean, I think you're under

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Speaker 1: contract to keep that secret.

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Speaker 5: But still, like, I mean we told somebody. I'm like,

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Speaker 5: you know, people were like, wait, you were there, what

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Speaker 5: was going on? And then you know, Sam, of course

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Speaker 5: like talk to people about whether or not I should

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Speaker 5: do it, But like, I think we did pretty good.

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Speaker 5: Like you were like to tam Com visit you and

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Speaker 5: I was like, yeah he did. I start looking down

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Speaker 5: and looking away and trying not to make like eye

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Speaker 5: contactuse I hate lying to people.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Well, the other highlight of last night's episode. First

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Speaker 3: of all, your fucking facial expressions killed me. Whenever I'm

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Speaker 3: friends with anybody who's an actor and I watched them

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Speaker 3: in movies, it's very hard for me to take them seriously.

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Speaker 3: Once I've made a friendship with someone, I just cannot wait.

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Speaker 3: All I do is send my friend Connie pictures of

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Speaker 3: her acting, and she I'm like, this is ridiculous. She's like,

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Speaker 3: don't watch it. I don't want to hear any fucking feedback.

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Speaker 3: But Leslie's faces in White Lotus. First of all, I

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Speaker 3: also want to just talk about this show and that

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Speaker 3: what a cultural zeitgeist this show is every I was

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Speaker 3: at my sister's sixtieth birthday weekend and there were fifteen

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Speaker 3: people there, like four generations of people, and we all

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Speaker 3: sat down on Sunday night to watch this in a

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Speaker 3: weekend where we were not watching TV. This was the

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Speaker 3: only TV show we watched because everyone was into it.

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Speaker 3: Everyone's like, oh my god, New White Lettos, New White Lotus.

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Speaker 3: So I could only imagine what you've been experiencing being

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Speaker 3: a part of this cast, because it is they show

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Speaker 3: that everyone watches. Like Severance is a very popular show.

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Speaker 3: Not everyone watches it, but it's hugely popular. There isn't

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Speaker 3: a person I know that doesn't watch White Lotus. So

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Speaker 3: that in and of itself is such a testament to

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Speaker 3: Mike White and all of these casts that he puts together,

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Speaker 3: because the casting is the most integral part to all

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Speaker 3: of these and it helps that everybody is an actor,

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Speaker 3: not a movie star, you know, what I mean, it

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Speaker 3: helps that it helps move the story along, that there

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Speaker 3: are so many actors and there's so many stories going on,

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Speaker 3: because it's so fun to follow that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Hi, it's Catherine from the Future. If you don't

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Speaker 2: want any spoilers for episode five of White Lotus that

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Speaker 2: came out on March sixteenth, then please skip forward exactly

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Speaker 2: two minutes.

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Speaker 3: But there was a scene in this pool with Carrie

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Speaker 3: Kuhon and with the ladies, the three girls, Michelle Bonahan

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Speaker 3: and Leslie and Kerry Kuhon, and as we've come to know,

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Speaker 3: Leslie's characters, a Trump supporter, which was.

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Speaker 1: A fucking I'm an independent, independent Trump supporter.

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Speaker 5: For my husband's Republican but I'm an independent.

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Speaker 3: And there's a scene and when they're in with these

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Speaker 3: three Russian guys, they've been partying all day and she

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Speaker 3: takes her carry Kuhon takes her top off. She's like

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Speaker 3: trying to hook up with Vladimir, right or Voldemort Vladimir

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Speaker 3: I think it's I want to say Vair, it's Valentine.

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Speaker 3: Valentine she's hooking up with She's wanting to anyway. And

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Speaker 3: when her top comes off, the face that you have

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Speaker 3: the smile. First of all, the show is filled with

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Speaker 3: facial expressions from you that are fucking to die for.

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Speaker 3: They are so funny.

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Speaker 5: What do I do? What do I do?

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Speaker 1: That you go? It's patronized seeing kind of.

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Speaker 3: Like yeah, even when you're about to talk shit with

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Speaker 3: your girlfriends, whether it's with Carrie or Michelle, I'm using

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Speaker 3: their real names because I get confused by all the

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Speaker 3: character But when one of them leaves and she's like,

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Speaker 3: oh god, she seems like she's drinking a lot, She's like.

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Speaker 4: Oh she does.

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Speaker 1: Everything is so smart.

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Speaker 3: It's just coming down like a butterscotch candy and it's

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Speaker 3: so funny. And then when she Carrie Kon's top comes off,

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Speaker 3: Leslie Bib's already like, I don't know about these men

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Speaker 3: at our villa.

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Speaker 1: What's going on?

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Speaker 3: This is a little too much for me as an

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Speaker 3: independent Trump supporter.

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Speaker 1: This is a little bit too much for me.

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Speaker 3: And then the face that you make when her top

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Speaker 3: comes off, like ha, like just a deflation of like

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Speaker 3: oh no, we're all gonna get gang banged or something

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Speaker 3: bad is gonna happen, Like that is where which is

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Speaker 3: where I thought that scene was going. I'm like, uh, oh,

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Speaker 3: they are going to turn on her and somebody's getting fucked.

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Speaker 3: That's somebody that doesn't want to it's going to But yeah,

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Speaker 3: you're acting in this is just like I don't.

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Speaker 1: Their character is so so perfectly you Thank you.

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Speaker 5: Thanks. That means a lot, Like it really means a

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Speaker 5: lot coming from you. I've never experienced anything like this

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Speaker 5: show before. It's crazy. Everybody's watching it and they also

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Speaker 5: there there's an obsession with it and people really watch

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Speaker 5: it for which is I think Mike probably loves very much.

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Speaker 5: Is they get all of the metaphors and the themes

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Speaker 5: and and and I don't know if it's because it

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Speaker 5: only comes out once a week and it makes you

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Speaker 5: have an appetite for it and that you have to

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Speaker 5: sit there and then you can rewatch it and look

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Speaker 5: at stuff and go, oh wait, did you see why

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Speaker 5: were there three monkeys in that corner? And why were that?

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Speaker 5: Like people are picking up on things that Like I

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Speaker 5: was like, are they going to get that? And the

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Speaker 5: obsession with understanding it thematically I think is really cool

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Speaker 5: because I do think Mike is working in big themes.

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Speaker 5: I think you know he's working He's talking about spirituality

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Speaker 5: and death. But then he's also working with doppelgangers and

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Speaker 5: mirrors and reflections, like with the Three Ladies. You know

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Speaker 5: we were said like, oh, nobody could tell us apart

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Speaker 5: when we were kids, And even while we were filming,

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Speaker 5: if I had my head turned, somebody would be like

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Speaker 5: my haircut was enough, like carries and like it felt

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Speaker 5: like art in life started to you're there long enough

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Speaker 5: and you start to feel like a guest at the

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Speaker 5: White Lotus because you're filming at a hotel wherever you

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Speaker 5: where you go, it says the White Lotus, I don't know.

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Speaker 5: It is like a weird mind trip. So I so

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Speaker 5: appreciate you saying that the work is good, but I

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Speaker 5: think part of it is just being surrounded by it

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Speaker 5: all the time that you I don't know. I mean,

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Speaker 5: I think it helps the work, Like when we were

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Speaker 5: getting cabin fever from being there for six months and

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Speaker 5: feeling like this sometimes because you're away from home and

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Speaker 5: away from anything that feels like you're normal. I think

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Speaker 5: it actually helped the work, And I think for the

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Speaker 5: people who love it, I think the fact that he

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Speaker 5: makes you wait every week also helps to aid the

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Speaker 5: fever pitch of like I want more and the episodes

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Speaker 5: were much bigger. They were I don't know, like hour

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Speaker 5: and a half long, and then HBO would make Mike,

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Speaker 5: you know, cut them down to fifty two minutes. So

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Speaker 5: sometimes I want to see what those hour and a

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Speaker 5: half long?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, so does everybody else.

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Speaker 5: I know, Like I had this insane dream sequence that

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Speaker 5: we shot that I was so like, oh, it was

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Speaker 5: like a sucker punch when I found out it got

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Speaker 5: cut and I was.

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Speaker 1: Like, oh, poor Kate.

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Speaker 5: But there's so many stories he's telling and interweaving. It's

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Speaker 5: fascinating to me, how you you know, And it's interesting

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Speaker 5: your take that, like if you had a big movie

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Speaker 5: star in there, would you be able to with such

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Speaker 5: abandon go down the you know, all of these roads

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Speaker 5: with these people, or would you be like, oh, there's

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Speaker 5: Tom Cruise or there's you know what I mean? Would

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Speaker 5: you do you think?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, it's tough to think about.

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Speaker 3: I mean I think that kind of it's yeah, maybe maybe.

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Speaker 1: You know, I would think so.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you know, depending on their acting ability, like

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Speaker 3: to really immerse themselves. I mean maybe it could just

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Speaker 3: be say Tom Cruise was a character in that show

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Speaker 3: that would be really interesting it would be interesting to

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Speaker 3: watch him mixing with everybody and not being the main attraction,

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Speaker 3: being one of the storylines, which I really appreciate.

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Speaker 1: As a viewer.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, jumping off of Bill.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, jumping off a bill, of course, or into Paris

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Speaker 3: or wherever he needs to go for the Olympics next.

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Speaker 3: But what do you learn about the show when you're

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Speaker 3: doing it? Like what does Mike tell you about it?

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Speaker 3: Like what are you what are you not allowed to

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Speaker 3: talk to people about?

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Speaker 5: You're not only about anything, not really allowed to talk

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Speaker 5: about anythinking. I mean, the fact that they kept Sam

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Speaker 5: secret is kind of incredible to me. I don't know

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Speaker 5: how they did that, because I mean, in this age

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Speaker 5: where everything gets leaked, I don't know. I kept saying

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Speaker 5: to him, I think it's bonkers that nobody knows you're

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Speaker 5: in it, or it hasn't somehow gone out. But when

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Speaker 5: you're doing it, you read the script, but like there's

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Speaker 5: something with the way he directs and the way he's

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Speaker 5: you know, and you sort of get all eight and

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Speaker 5: then I only have my Then I have to give

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Speaker 5: back everything because those scripts are so guarded. So I

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Speaker 5: have just my section of the script. So I feel

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Speaker 5: very disconnected to anybody else's storyline, so you're kind of

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Speaker 5: there on your own journey and so you don't know

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Speaker 5: how it's all going to be interconnected or any of that.

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Speaker 5: So that's really like Mike the editing, how he sees it,

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Speaker 5: how it changed. I mean, that's I mean, it's really

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Speaker 5: all a testament to him and his vision for this.

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Speaker 5: And I think he's got remarkable editors and his production

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Speaker 5: designer is incredible. Nothing Mike does is like, oh, look

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Speaker 5: at that happen accident, you know, but when you're there,

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Speaker 5: he feels you don't feel like that's happening. But he's

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Speaker 5: like he's a he's just a mastermind. He's really and

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Speaker 5: I feel like in this third season you're really seeing

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Speaker 5: Mike I felt like, as a director really step into

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Speaker 5: his own in a big way, you know, because he's

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Speaker 5: a writer and an actor and those hats I think

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Speaker 5: he wears effortlessly. But something about this season felt like

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Speaker 5: there was he really something felt I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Different, is there any improvisation.

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Speaker 5: He's like, I have this thing about beans. We're on

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Speaker 5: the beach, I say all these innocuous things. I just

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Speaker 5: have like, I mean, my last name is boor k Poor,

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Speaker 5: So I don't really say anything interesting, like it's all

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Speaker 5: in the name bohr k Poor. And I have this

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Speaker 5: like thing about beans, how I tricked my mind into

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Speaker 5: liking beans, and and he must have liked it because

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Speaker 5: then he came over and he said, Carrie, maybe you

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Speaker 5: would say this, and then Leslie, you go, no, no, no,

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Speaker 5: I don't like big beans. I like small beans. And

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Speaker 5: then we went into a whole thing where we were

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Speaker 5: just riffing on beans and he was like like chigante

404
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Speaker 5: and then we're doing this now. But he usually comes

405
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Speaker 5: up with he's so rhythmic with when he's hearing his

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Speaker 5: writing and that he comes over and changes it. But

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Speaker 5: that's it. I mean, it's nothing like it's all Mike.

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Speaker 5: It's kind of refreshing because then you don't feel like

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Speaker 5: you have to do anything and it's all on the

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Speaker 5: page right, so you're like, you're not trying to make

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Speaker 5: chicken salad out of chicken shit. It's like already a

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Speaker 5: fucking amazing sandwich, you know, and it's got like French

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Speaker 5: fries and a great drink and like it's everything. You

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Speaker 5: don't have to make something out of nothing, Okay, on.

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Speaker 1: That note, we're going to take a break and we're

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Speaker 1: going to come right back with Leslie Bib. And we're

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Speaker 1: back with Leslie.

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Speaker 3: Bib from The White Lotus, most recently from The White Lotus.

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Speaker 3: She's been in a bevy of things and everyone knows

420
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Speaker 3: who you are, and then and then this show, now,

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Speaker 3: as we've discussed, is like being catapulted front and center

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Speaker 3: with like it's like being I mean, I know that

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Speaker 3: you guys have been on this crazy press tour, and

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Speaker 3: I know you personally have been bouncing around crazily and

425
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Speaker 3: you're like, oh my god, this is so crazy, you know.

426
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Speaker 3: It's She's like, I've never been part of something like

427
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Speaker 3: this where everybody is invested at like the whole world

428
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Speaker 3: is watching and it must just be such a crazy ride, Chelsea.

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Speaker 5: It's fucking amazing. It's so cool. It's like somebody was like,

430
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Speaker 5: why aren't you watching, and I said, well, it's like,

431
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Speaker 5: you know, I'm critical of myself and it just feels tricky,

432
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Speaker 5: like people have been saying the work is good, so

433
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Speaker 5: I worry that if I watch it, I'm going to

434
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Speaker 5: try to recreate something or I don't know, Like it

435
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,879
Speaker 5: was just very like in the moment happening, so like,

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Speaker 5: I don't when you talk about my faces, like I don't.

437
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,120
Speaker 5: I don't know what those work. You know, I did

438
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,520
Speaker 5: a lot of work and a lot of stuff. But

439
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 5: then people saying the work is good, that's so meaningful

440
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,719
Speaker 5: and it's not like I've never had it to this

441
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,160
Speaker 5: magnetude that the people are saying the work is good

442
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,919
Speaker 5: like this, and so it's really nice. But also it

443
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,879
Speaker 5: feels like it feels like a dream and it feels

444
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,920
Speaker 5: like if I watch it, I'll be waking up from

445
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 5: the dream and it's like I just want to sleep

446
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 5: five more minutes. Like I just want to say, it's

447
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,639
Speaker 5: like the best dream I've ever had, and I just

448
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,160
Speaker 5: want to stay. So I'm just trying to just enjoy

449
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:36,680
Speaker 5: it all and go with it and try to be present.

450
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 5: And it's awesome because then it'll be over and it

451
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,919
Speaker 5: doesn't always happen. And I feel so lucky that it

452
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 5: happened to me. And it feels so lucky that like

453
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 5: usually in a show, they would never cast me Carrie

454
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 5: and Michelle, it would be one of us. I've never

455
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 5: got gotten to work with those other two because there's

456
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,280
Speaker 5: only one of us who would get the job. They

457
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 5: would never you know what I mean, it just doesn't happen.

458
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,680
Speaker 5: And then you get to do the job in all

459
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,400
Speaker 5: three of you are there and it's not like one

460
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 5: person has the better part. Do you know which would

461
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 5: be the other thing? Like you would just be like, oh, well,

462
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:12,439
Speaker 5: that's the lead and we're like the two best friends

463
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 5: that maybe have one scene or something that might be

464
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,640
Speaker 5: cut to shreds to do something because you're just aiding

465
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 5: the lead actor's story. And it's like somehow we all

466
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 5: get our slice of the pie and it's amazing. It

467
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 5: sometimes makes me want to cry, like it just feels

468
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 5: as corny as that sounds, but it just it does

469
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:37,159
Speaker 5: not fall short on me that this is happening to

470
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 5: me now in my life.

471
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:42,400
Speaker 3: No, actually, can I tell Can I tell them? Can

472
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:44,879
Speaker 3: I talk about We went to the Vanity Fair party

473
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:49,200
Speaker 3: and I for the Oscars this year and Leslie's like, oh,

474
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,119
Speaker 3: I was like, do you want some LSD? I had

475
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,560
Speaker 3: my microdose of course, and she's like ellisd oh my

476
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 3: god no, and then she goes actually, she's like I'm

477
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 3: just not going to drink for this period of time.

478
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh why, and she said because

479
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,719
Speaker 3: I really want to be present for this experience that

480
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,439
Speaker 3: I'm having with white lotus in it coming out and

481
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 3: I just want to experience this all. And I was like, wow,

482
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,320
Speaker 3: that is powerful, Like good for you for doing that,

483
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:17,919
Speaker 3: and I totally get that. You know, I don't know

484
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 3: why you couldn't take some LSD because you were wouldn't

485
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 3: be drinking, but whatever, I think that is. That's really

486
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 3: like like a really beautiful way to handle it because

487
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 3: it's not like you're sober, you drink, you have a

488
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,240
Speaker 3: good time, but like for periods in our life when

489
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 3: we really do want to be there and not hungover

490
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,840
Speaker 3: and not have it and not and have complete mental

491
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 3: clarity about what you're experiencing.

492
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 5: Also too, do you ever have this? I don't know

493
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 5: if you guts, But like when I go to those things,

494
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,159
Speaker 5: it's not like I'm like I'm one of a vanity

495
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,920
Speaker 5: fair party. I feel really in my body right now.

496
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,920
Speaker 5: It's like I'm like I haven't eaten all day. I'm

497
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,200
Speaker 5: like stuffing into your dress that's like a beautiful dressed

498
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 5: and you can say, why are you picking up your dress?

499
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,439
Speaker 5: Let it hang? And I was like, I'm like a

500
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:07,719
Speaker 5: giraffe Chelsea, I'm gonna trip. I'm like, look graceful, but

501
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,199
Speaker 5: I'm not graceful, the truth of the thing is, And

502
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 5: like I don't want to rip the dress. And then

503
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 5: you've got your hair and your makeup and you're in

504
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,679
Speaker 5: these fucking shoes that are not comfortable, and like I

505
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 5: feel like if I go there and I have a

506
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:22,200
Speaker 5: drink on top of it, I'm for sure going to

507
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 5: face plant and like like and that's the first sure

508
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 5: going to happen, Like I'm just gonna be But then

509
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,119
Speaker 5: but then, like you know, like Robert Daddy Junior came

510
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,280
Speaker 5: up to me at the Vanity Fair party and who

511
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,400
Speaker 5: I haven't seen in a long time? Who I did

512
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 5: you know, Iron Man with And he was so kind

513
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 5: and I was so happy that I was really there

514
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,960
Speaker 5: to have that conversation. And it's also like I think,

515
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 5: like they're the highs that you want to be present for.

516
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 5: But then when you're having a panic attack or an

517
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 5: anxiety attack or feeling like you have imposter syndrome, that

518
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,679
Speaker 5: I go I don't think that glass of wine or

519
00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 5: that you know, margarita are going to be great for

520
00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 5: me right now. And it kind of happened after the

521
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 5: fires because I was with Chelsea for the fires.

522
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 1: And another night, another night, another night.

523
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 5: And that happened like really fast, and we thought it

524
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 5: was one thing. We thought like, oh, the palisades in

525
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 5: your home was under threat, and like the critics' choice were.

526
00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 5: It was just like happening in real time, this information

527
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:28,360
Speaker 5: coming in of destruction to Los Angeles and everything sort

528
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,680
Speaker 5: of changing. And then we were sitting at a hotel

529
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,400
Speaker 5: having a drink, and then we had to evacuate our

530
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 5: hotel and it was and I'd had a few drinks,

531
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,679
Speaker 5: like I was like pink cheeked and like, and the

532
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 5: next morning I was like, oh this is not That

533
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 5: was like sort of sobering to go, oh yeah, you

534
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 5: got to you got to be present, Like it felt

535
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 5: like a nice little wake up call.

536
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:53,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was a crazy night. I was staying at

537
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 3: one hotel. I went to go have drinks with her

538
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 3: at the chateau. Then a fire broke out in the

539
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,399
Speaker 3: Hollywood Hills and we had to evacuate the chateau. And

540
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 3: I used to the guy that runs the chateau, so

541
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 3: I told everybody, I think I'm still missus chateau. So

542
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,399
Speaker 3: I went around and dismissed all of the staff. I'm like,

543
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 3: everybody leave, everybody get out. I'm like, everybody all the

544
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 3: everybody needs to check out of the hotel. Andre's like, Chelsea,

545
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 3: just don't panic. I'm like, everyone go to. Let's go

546
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 3: to And then we got in our car.

547
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 5: If I didn't have you, I would I didn't have

548
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 5: I don't have a car when I'm in Los Angeles, Like,

549
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 5: I don't know what do you call an uber in

550
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 5: a time like that? I don't think so like Sunset Buleivar,

551
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 5: and we had Greg Williams, who's an amazing photographer who

552
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 5: was there, who had just done like the clothes and

553
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 5: was going to do the critics' choice. And then we

554
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 5: had Michael Wincott, who is a actor who's somewhat reclusive

555
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,120
Speaker 5: and was living at the chateau, and we grabbed him.

556
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 5: And then it was like I was like, this is

557
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 5: a short film.

558
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 6: Like what.

559
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:47,119
Speaker 1: I was like, let's go.

560
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 3: I'm like we should head to San Diego And they're

561
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 3: like san Diego and I'm like, I mean, Leslie's like,

562
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 3: what about Newport Beach?

563
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,439
Speaker 1: Why would we go all the way to Santiago. I'm like,

564
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,960
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. But I think we should go to

565
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,719
Speaker 1: San Diego. There are fires coming from every direction.

566
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 3: Well, we ended up going back to my hotel and

567
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 3: all of us just ended up drinking and being stupid

568
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 3: because we didn't know what else to fucking.

569
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 1: Do and we were a band of random idiots.

570
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 3: Anyway, we have to get to one caller at least

571
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,240
Speaker 3: for this episode before we shoot the shit any longer.

572
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 1: We're going to take a caller, Leslie. Are you ready? Yeah, yeah, Yeah,

573
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 1: we're gonna give We're going to give advice. Yes.

574
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 2: Our first caller is Shannon, and I feel like this

575
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:25,400
Speaker 2: question is particularly appropriate because there were so many age

576
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 2: gap relationships represented in Waite.

577
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 4: Lotus this season.

578
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:34,640
Speaker 2: Specifically, Shannon says, Dear Chelsea, I'm thirty four years old

579
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,359
Speaker 2: and I'm married to an eighty year old man whoa

580
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 2: From the outside, it might look like I have security,

581
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,920
Speaker 2: but the truth is far more complicated. I met him

582
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 2: when I was eighteen. He was supposed to be a

583
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:49,439
Speaker 2: safety net, not a husband. One choice led to another,

584
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 2: and before I knew it, I had built a life

585
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 2: that does not feel like mine. The thing is, he

586
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 2: loves me, he always has, but I cannot love him

587
00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 2: back and yet I stay. I stay because leaving impossible.

588
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 2: I stay because I've made choices that make walking away

589
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:04,679
Speaker 2: more complicated than staying.

590
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 4: But most of all, I stay because.

591
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,919
Speaker 2: Of my two Golden Retrievers, who are twelve and thirteen

592
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 2: years old. They've been my constant through every twist and turn,

593
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 2: and I do not know what I am without them.

594
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 2: I'm not lost, I'm not weak, but I am stuck. Shannon, whoa,

595
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 2: and then she'll be joining us here to chat.

596
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 3: Shannon, this is Leslie, our special guest today. Hi, Leslie

597
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:27,919
Speaker 3: Bibb say Hi, Hi, how are you?

598
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 5: Hi?

599
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:29,679
Speaker 6: I'm good?

600
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 5: How are you?

601
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 4: I'm a fan?

602
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 5: Hi? Thank you so much, Shannon. That letter was really

603
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 5: incredibly open and vulnerable. It's very cool.

604
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:41,479
Speaker 6: It's a little vague.

605
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 2: So well, I do want to clarify one thing, because

606
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 2: you know, you said that you guys met at when

607
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 2: you were eighteen, but you had sort of been working

608
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 2: for his ex in like a work capacity, so it

609
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 2: wasn't like you started dating him when you were.

610
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 6: Eighteen, right, No, never, never did I ever date him.

611
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 6: There was no dating. There was no sugar baby, sugar

612
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 6: daddy like relationship, nothing like that. He just was always

613
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 6: a caretaker or like some backup security for me because

614
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,480
Speaker 6: I just don't have like family and whatnot. And this

615
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 6: was a long time ago, and I just became dependent

616
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 6: on him.

617
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,680
Speaker 5: Would you say you're a dependent emotionally? Do you feel

618
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 5: like that he filled some void for you emotionally?

619
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 6: I'm not. It's it sounds so like messed up but

620
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 6: not really like he was a friend. But like when

621
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 6: I tell you, like, for years he was supposed to

622
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 6: be the guy that walked me down the aisle, like

623
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 6: in replace of my dad, because I don't have one,

624
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 6: and he caught major feelings for me, and I thought

625
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 6: that marrying him would make my life easier, and it

626
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,719
Speaker 6: has made my life way worse.

627
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 1: How so, how so, how's it made your life worse?

628
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 6: Well, I've always been independent, Like I've always been a

629
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 6: very hard worker and always like took care of myself.

630
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 6: But you know, I have these two dogs, and sometimes

631
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 6: emergencies would happen and he would always help me. And

632
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:13,479
Speaker 6: then next thing, you know, like the pandemic happened and

633
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 6: he was always just helping me out. And then it

634
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 6: resulted in him falling in love with me, and I

635
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,719
Speaker 6: thought that okay, well fine, if we get married, he

636
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 6: can have, you know, companionship and not die alone. And

637
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 6: I thought I could be somewhat able to like get

638
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:32,479
Speaker 6: my life together and go back to college and all

639
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 6: those things. And no, he wants us to be a

640
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 6: real deal married couple. And it's like I thought, by

641
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 6: being introduced as his wife would be enough and just

642
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 6: spending the majority of my time with him and all

643
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,719
Speaker 6: these things. But he wants one thing and one thing only.

644
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 6: And that's really what has happened since we got married.

645
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 1: He wants sex.

646
00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, he wants intimacy, he wants to make out, and

647
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 6: I am like, absolutely not and that's never been how

648
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 6: our relationship was. And wow, do I say or do

649
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 6: I try to plan? I like to go, but both

650
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 6: seem extremely impossible. And it's as if I'm living tell

651
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,600
Speaker 6: my dogs die, which is like a sick way to live.

652
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 6: And these dogs mean the world to me, and it's

653
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 6: it's almost impossible to take care of two big dogs,

654
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 6: you know, by yourself. So I didn't know I had

655
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 6: to sacrifice so much.

656
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 3: I don't think it's impossible to take care of two

657
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 3: big dogs by yourself. I don't think that's I mean,

658
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 3: you're dealing with an eighty year old man. You know, yeah,

659
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 3: do you have a job?

660
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 6: Well, I currently I don't and I did not have

661
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 6: one when I married him. So and I've always been

662
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 6: a bartender, and like for ten years, I've just been

663
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 6: a bartender. And that's the only source of money I

664
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:01,960
Speaker 6: know how to make.

665
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:05,480
Speaker 1: And that's that's good. You can do that, though, that's

666
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:08,719
Speaker 1: a source of income. That's good. You're capable of doing that.

667
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:12,920
Speaker 6: Yes, I am capable of doing that. So it's just

668
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 6: like I'm dependent on him for everything, and I currently

669
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 6: just like a hot mess. Like and I did get

670
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 6: a job when we first got married, and it gets

671
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 6: so emotionally taxic that it's like he expects me to

672
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 6: take off work to drive him to whatever appointments he needs,

673
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 6: and I get so emotionally distressed that I at this

674
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 6: point in my life, I am not, like I don't

675
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 6: trust myself to be reliable, not for a job. Like

676
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:48,239
Speaker 6: I married him to basically be able to just like

677
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 6: take care of him and our home and the dogs

678
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 6: and be his wife. But I didn't know he wanted

679
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 6: all of the things a wife comes with.

680
00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 1: So are you in a sexual relationship with him now?

681
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 6: Absolutely not? No, never, happen never once. And that's the

682
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 6: thing that like no one believes me, and well.

683
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 5: Who cares if they believe you? I mean, it's like

684
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 5: that's like a mood point. It's like you can think

685
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 5: whatever the heck you want, you have no control over that.

686
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,719
Speaker 5: But I think the bigger thing, I just feel like

687
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 5: there's two things happening. You have sort of like you

688
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 5: have to look at, like why you got into this,

689
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 5: which is you're probably seeking some sort of security, something

690
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,600
Speaker 5: that probably maybe you did not feel in your life,

691
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 5: some sort of self worth that you didn't have for

692
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 5: yourself so you thought, and which is common. That's not

693
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 5: a judgment that I'm saying that. I'm just saying you

694
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 5: all seek. All of this is coming from a non

695
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 5: judgment place. It's just we make these choices. We've all

696
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:49,480
Speaker 5: done it, everybody, so nobody can. We've all done versions

697
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,880
Speaker 5: of this, like where you've picked the wrong person or

698
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 5: you think I'm gonna pick this person because they feel

699
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,920
Speaker 5: safe or they feel this, or you feel that, and

700
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 5: then you get down that road and you're like, oh,

701
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 5: not what I thought, not and it's unsafe, and then

702
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:07,959
Speaker 5: you start the ball starts rolling that way and you

703
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,840
Speaker 5: think in your head it's too complicated, and you start

704
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 5: to come up with these reasons why you can't go, Oh,

705
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 5: I can pull the shoot, I can leave, you know,

706
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 5: taking care of two dogs. You can do that. You

707
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 5: can do that.

708
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 6: That's yes.

709
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 5: But the thing is, that's what you're telling yourself. You

710
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:29,399
Speaker 5: need to look at what's really underneath, which is it's

711
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,640
Speaker 5: scary because you haven't had a job probably in a

712
00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 5: long time. I would feel that, you know, you probably

713
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 5: have not had a job in a long time, and

714
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 5: you're like, where's that money going to come from? There's

715
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 5: probably maybe even on some subconscious level, he does give

716
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:47,440
Speaker 5: you some sort of sense of security, yes, and whether

717
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 5: you want it, because it's easy to be like no,

718
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 5: it's this and it's this, but maybe there is some

719
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 5: version where he does make you feel okay, and maybe

720
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 5: you don't have to be vulnerable with somebody else because

721
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 5: to be single and to be out there, you have

722
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 5: to be open and you have to like you this

723
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 5: is the devil, you know, right?

724
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:10,399
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, so it's very scary to go.

725
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,759
Speaker 5: I don't know what the fuck is out there.

726
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 6: That's where I'm kind of at. I feel like, yeah,

727
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 6: like I don't know I've always had him as a backup.

728
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 6: I've had rent and all, and I've had jobs, Chelsea

729
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:26,879
Speaker 6: and all the things, but like he's always been I've

730
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 6: never really had everything on my own. He's always been

731
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:35,320
Speaker 6: there to help me. So that's kind of what's keeping

732
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:38,320
Speaker 6: me here because it's scary, exactly.

733
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 2: It is scary, and I feel like what you're feeling

734
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 2: like it is easier to kind of stay put because

735
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 2: of inertia and just because that's what you've known. But

736
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 2: I feel like what is coming up for you is

737
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,839
Speaker 2: that you have outgrown needing somebody else to like do

738
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 2: this for you, and like being able to go out

739
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 2: and get a job. It's not like leave him tomorrow

740
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 2: and take the dogs. It can be a transition, you know,

741
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 2: you can look at getting a job, initiating some of

742
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 2: that stability for yourself before you know, having that conversation

743
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 2: about maybe I want to.

744
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 4: Move out or maybe I want to do this.

745
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing,

746
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 2: but it sounds like you're kind of out growing this

747
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 2: and you're getting to a point where you might not

748
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:17,360
Speaker 2: need this anymore.

749
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:22,240
Speaker 5: I think also, we have to watch it's so easy

750
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:25,239
Speaker 5: to be like we tell ourselves the truth that we want.

751
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 5: It's like his schedule keeps me from having a job.

752
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:32,320
Speaker 5: That's I mean, you could get You could be like, hey,

753
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 5: I need you to make your doctor's appointments, and I'm

754
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,280
Speaker 5: sure you probably help him make his doctor's appointment because

755
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 5: he's eighty to go. We're going to schedule your doctor's

756
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:46,280
Speaker 5: appointments from twelve to five. I'm going to go and

757
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 5: I'm going to take a job at night, and I'm

758
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,719
Speaker 5: going to bar tend once a week or twice a week,

759
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:55,760
Speaker 5: and I go to work at six o'clock to midnight.

760
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:58,799
Speaker 5: And that's how you do. But you have to be

761
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 5: you have to be the captain of your ship. You

762
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 5: have to want to really want to do this because

763
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:11,680
Speaker 5: it's gonna be uncomfortable. It's gonna be a lot of unknowns,

764
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,359
Speaker 5: and your apartment might not be as nice or your

765
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 5: home might not be as nice as it is. And

766
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:21,839
Speaker 5: you know, dogs they're fine. The fact that they're not

767
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,920
Speaker 5: in a shelter. They're having a great life. Your dogs

768
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:27,239
Speaker 5: are twelve and thirteen. They don't need to walk much.

769
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 5: They like you take them on two good walks. You

770
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 5: give them love, you give them their treats. You know,

771
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,360
Speaker 5: maybe get a shitty apartment that has a backyard so

772
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:37,920
Speaker 5: the poochies can be out there. I mean, I just

773
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 5: know that, like when you really do want to change,

774
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 5: you will make that change. But I think it's you

775
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,879
Speaker 5: have to also really look. You know, somebody can want

776
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 5: everything from you, but it's like you have to said

777
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 5: what you're willing to give, so he can't take anything

778
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 5: from you that you're not giving. It's about sort of

779
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 5: also meeting him and going, huh, what am I doing?

780
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 5: What am I looking for?

781
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:00,239
Speaker 6: Work?

782
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 5: And take all the judgment everybody's freaking opinions out of it.

783
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 5: It's really easy to cast Look at the white loaders.

784
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:11,400
Speaker 5: All we do is talk about each other exactly. You know,

785
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 5: we're all throwing stones from glasshouses.

786
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,279
Speaker 3: You know, what's your financial situation with him? Does he

787
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 3: just supply you with money? Do you have access to money? Like,

788
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 3: what's the deal?

789
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 5: Though?

790
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:26,680
Speaker 6: He controls everything? Like I have to ask for everything,

791
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 6: And it's a bunch of like withholding money. If we

792
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 6: get into a fight and he's still an active attorney,

793
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:37,000
Speaker 6: like he still works every day and stuff like that,

794
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:40,719
Speaker 6: and he has a serious temper, So it's like is

795
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 6: he abusive emotionally and the way he yells and scares

796
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 6: my dogs? And then so this does he scare you

797
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:53,840
Speaker 6: sometimes in like his like threats, like with what he

798
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 6: can do legally, Like if I like don't like if

799
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:58,359
Speaker 6: I kiss him off, he you'll be like, I'll get

800
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:01,680
Speaker 6: you out of here, like he's stuff like that. But no,

801
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:04,680
Speaker 6: I'm not like scared of him. Like it's as if

802
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:07,600
Speaker 6: I was in a relationship married to someone my own

803
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,319
Speaker 6: age and this is how he treated me, it would

804
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:10,880
Speaker 6: be different.

805
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 5: But why but why why would it be different?

806
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 6: Because I think I do know that I am able

807
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 6: to like just be nice to him and like you know,

808
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,440
Speaker 6: kind of like mask it and flirt it and I

809
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 6: and I'll be able to like somewhat get my way.

810
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 6: But that's just not the girl I am. And I thought,

811
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 6: I guess when I married him that i'd be able

812
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:34,960
Speaker 6: to like kind of schooze myself a little bit. And

813
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,360
Speaker 6: you know, I don't even let him sleep in my

814
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 6: bed like at all, and it's that's just it's a

815
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 6: never ending circle. So I guess now my question would

816
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 6: be like, Okay, you guys, thank you very much. It's

817
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:51,839
Speaker 6: validated that like I am capable of leaving. But do

818
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:55,640
Speaker 6: I sneak making money? Do I sneak getting out of here?

819
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:59,240
Speaker 6: Like do I talk? Because like he doesn't take divorce

820
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:02,439
Speaker 6: or anything very well, if that makes sense, I don't know, ChEls,

821
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 6: what do you think.

822
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 3: I think that you have to take a step every

823
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 3: single day to get out of that situation. I think

824
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 3: that you need to go out actively and get a job.

825
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,359
Speaker 3: Go get a burtending job, find a place to work.

826
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:18,239
Speaker 3: It's not a question. It's not up for debate with him,

827
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:20,400
Speaker 3: And that's to tell him that you're going to get

828
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 3: a job. You have to make your own money. You

829
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 3: don't like being controlled with the money. You have to

830
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 3: prepare yourself for when he's no longer here. He's eighty

831
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,799
Speaker 3: years old, you're thirty four years old. So you have

832
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:33,320
Speaker 3: to figure out a way to get your life back

833
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:37,560
Speaker 3: in your own hands. And regardless of his reaction, I'm

834
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:39,799
Speaker 3: not concerned about your dogs, Like you can take care

835
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 3: of two dogs, of course you can. Millions of people

836
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 3: do it. Millions of single people have more than one animal.

837
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:48,439
Speaker 3: You know, Like, that's not an issue. You think that's

838
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:51,279
Speaker 3: the issue because that's the only reality you've known. You

839
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 3: have a chance to actually like grab life by the

840
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 3: balls and live your life.

841
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:58,839
Speaker 1: Truly and holy and do what you want. So I

842
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:00,520
Speaker 1: understand it. It's not going to have and overnight.

843
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 3: You're not going to walk out the door today and say, okay,

844
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 3: we're getting a divorce. But you can walk out the

845
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 3: door today and go get a job, and go fill

846
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 3: out an application and go to a restaurant and say

847
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 3: do you need a bartender? Go to a bar, find

848
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 3: a job and start working. And that's the first step.

849
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,240
Speaker 3: And then the second step will be to start saving

850
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:18,399
Speaker 3: money and working more.

851
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:19,359
Speaker 1: And it's not up to him.

852
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 3: When you work, you'll be available for his You know,

853
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,360
Speaker 3: you can make the situation amenable to him in a

854
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 3: way where you if he's working every day, then what

855
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:28,880
Speaker 3: you could be doing. You could be working during the

856
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 3: day too. You don't have to just be a bartender.

857
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 3: You could go work a at Starbucks, you could go

858
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:34,479
Speaker 3: work at a coffee shop.

859
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 1: What's to stop you from doing that? You know, like,

860
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 1: you have to go get.

861
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 3: A job first of all, because that is going to

862
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,239
Speaker 3: provide you with the self worth that you're going to

863
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:45,920
Speaker 3: need to have the kahunas to actually exit from this situation.

864
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,959
Speaker 1: This is not a healthy situation that you're in.

865
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:55,280
Speaker 3: It sounds very limiting emotionally, psychologically, and every other way possibly.

866
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,319
Speaker 3: You know, you're a young, vibrant woman who needs to

867
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 3: live a life, and so every step you should be

868
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 3: taking should be in the direction of that life and

869
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,439
Speaker 3: pursuing that life. And if he says he doesn't want

870
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 3: you to get a job, then then you have to

871
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,440
Speaker 3: say to him, well, that's what's gonna happen. If you

872
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:13,719
Speaker 3: want to divorce me because I want to work, then

873
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,840
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm being controlled, then you're gonna have

874
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,120
Speaker 3: to divorce me. And you have to mean it. You're

875
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 3: not gonna end up outside on the street. You're gonna

876
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:23,759
Speaker 3: go get a job. That's what you're gonna do, whether

877
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,319
Speaker 3: it's today or tomorrow. I want to hear from you

878
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 3: that that's what you're gonna do.

879
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 6: Yes, thank you, thank you.

880
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:31,320
Speaker 1: You need to get your life.

881
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 3: You're not living your life right now, you're living someone

882
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:36,279
Speaker 3: else's life, So you have to go out there every day.

883
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 3: I want you to write this down too, that you

884
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 3: are strong and that you are powerful and that you

885
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 3: are resilient. Write that down and put it in front

886
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 3: of you. And when you wake up every morning, read

887
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 3: that to yourself. I am strong, I am powerful, and

888
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 3: I am resilient, and go get that job. Start work,

889
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,440
Speaker 3: and if you don't get the first five jobs you

890
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 3: apply for, keep going because you're strong, you're powerful.

891
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 1: And you're resilient, and you're going to get one of them.

892
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 1: And then you're gonna get that job.

893
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:02,359
Speaker 3: You're going to start working and you're going to start

894
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 3: to feel the self forth that comes from making a

895
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 3: living and that you are an independent, free person that

896
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:09,320
Speaker 3: you can do independent free things.

897
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 1: No one has.

898
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 3: Control over you, but you you have allowed this person

899
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:17,200
Speaker 3: to take control over you. You made some of these decisions

900
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 3: that got you into this mess, and now you're going

901
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 3: to make the decisions that get you out of this mess. Yeah,

902
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,359
Speaker 3: and it's just a matter of time before you have

903
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 3: you have enough money before you're going to meet people

904
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 3: at work. You might meet somebody that you can live with,

905
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:33,399
Speaker 3: you might meet a roommate. These are all probable situations.

906
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:36,319
Speaker 3: Once you start saving money, you can start looking into

907
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:38,760
Speaker 3: who where you want to live, getting an apartment, living

908
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 3: with other people. It's okay to downsize, It's okay to

909
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 3: go through some difficult times as a transition out of

910
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,799
Speaker 3: this life. What you are in search and pursuit of

911
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 3: is freedom. You don't have your freedom right now. So

912
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 3: you're going to get off of this call and you're

913
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 3: going to find your freedom. You're going to take one

914
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 3: step every single day. You were going to take one

915
00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,040
Speaker 3: step in the direction of getting your life back to

916
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,839
Speaker 3: a place where you're making decisions for yourself. And then

917
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 3: you're gonna take your dogs with you when you leave.

918
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 6: Hell yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yeah, no. I needed to

919
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 6: hear that. I did.

920
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 3: So when this episode comes out, I want you to

921
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 3: play this episode and you write down all of these

922
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:17,759
Speaker 3: things I'm saying to you. You need to wake up

923
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 3: every morning and talk to yourself in a way that

924
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 3: you have not been talking to yourself. You're independent and

925
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 3: you can be free. Okay you are. We're not living

926
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 3: in this I mean, we are living in a little

927
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:29,520
Speaker 3: bit of a fucked up world right now. But you

928
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 3: still have your freedom, so fucking get it while you can.

929
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:36,359
Speaker 3: You have a whole life to live without him. Yes, yeah,

930
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 3: and you have sex to go have. You have to

931
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 3: go have sex with people.

932
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,800
Speaker 6: I know. I know I miss that too, trust me.

933
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:46,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, So come on, like you know, what to do?

934
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 3: You know what the answer is here. You have to

935
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 3: listen to yourself. Yeah, you're gonna want progress.

936
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:56,399
Speaker 1: I'm gonna want progress reports from you. Okay, yeah, no, Yeah.

937
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 6: That's okay. That's that's what I was hoping for.

938
00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 5: It's okay. You're gonna have some days. It's not gonna

939
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,440
Speaker 5: be fucking sunshine. And like what Chelsea said, like you

940
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:06,839
Speaker 5: might not get the first job or the second job,

941
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 5: but you have to. I think what she's saying about

942
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:12,839
Speaker 5: writing those things down, it's true. When she just said it,

943
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 5: didn't you feel like I can fucking do it.

944
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 6: She may push play this fucking.

945
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:19,919
Speaker 5: Podcast in your ear like on a loop and hear

946
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 5: her voice in your head because you can do anything,

947
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 5: and you're what you tell yourself is very powerful. And

948
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:32,280
Speaker 5: don't throw out baby steps for like what's giant steps?

949
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:36,800
Speaker 5: You know, it's like little compounding, Like little small steps

950
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 5: can make a giant one.

951
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 3: Yes, And also just remember every single just because you

952
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:45,440
Speaker 3: haven't exerted your powerfulness and being an empowered woman up

953
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 3: until hair. You know, maybe in moments you have been,

954
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 3: but all over like you have a reservoir of resilience

955
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 3: inside of you that you have not tapped into yet.

956
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,840
Speaker 3: Do not doubt the power of being a woman. Don't

957
00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 3: ever doubt yourself. Okay, you can doubt yourself for a

958
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,480
Speaker 3: minute or here and there, but you always have to

959
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 3: come back to the idea that I can do this.

960
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:05,280
Speaker 3: I can do this, and you're going to show yourself

961
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 3: with every step. So next week I want you to

962
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 3: send to Catherine and me a list of the places

963
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:13,839
Speaker 3: you've applied, what happened, Which jobs have you gotten, any

964
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 3: job opportunities? Have you accepted a job? Let us know

965
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 3: and check in so you can be accountable to us. Okay,

966
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:20,359
Speaker 3: because we'll be here for you.

967
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 6: That's amazing.

968
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:24,840
Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah, absolutely, I mean it. I mean it.

969
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 3: We're going to get you out of this situation and

970
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 3: we're going to get you out of it in a good.

971
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:29,360
Speaker 1: Positive, healthy way.

972
00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 3: Okay, because you need to be surrounded by other things

973
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:32,760
Speaker 3: other than this.

974
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 1: This is not this is not the way to go

975
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 1: through life.

976
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 4: Deserve more.

977
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,160
Speaker 6: Thank you very much. Like I don't know if that's

978
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 6: like why that's what I needed, But I am very capable.

979
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:47,320
Speaker 1: You are than you are, Yes, yes you are okay,

980
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:48,279
Speaker 1: all right.

981
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:51,360
Speaker 4: Cool Shannon, thank you and we'll be in touch Okay.

982
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 3: Bye, Shannon, Bye, Thank you so much.

983
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 5: Got that for sure.

984
00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 6: Bye talk soon, bye bye.

985
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:00,400
Speaker 3: Okay, we're going to take a break and be right

986
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:01,880
Speaker 3: back to wrap up with Leslie Bib.

987
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 1: And we're back with Leslie Bib. What a whoopsie doodle

988
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,840
Speaker 1: that was fuck, oh my god.

989
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 5: You know, Chelsey, it's remarkable and I'm not blowing smoke

990
00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 5: up your ass, but like it's remarkable, like the way

991
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:24,000
Speaker 5: you make people and especially women feel like we can

992
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 5: do anything and that we've got this and you're this force,

993
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:31,839
Speaker 5: this power, and the way you're so smart and you're

994
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 5: so funny and you're so quick, and you've got this

995
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 5: enormous heart, and like the grace you gave that young

996
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:44,319
Speaker 5: woman and the great advice you gave her, and you

997
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 5: just feel like you can do anything with You're such

998
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 5: an amazing person to have in your corner. It's really

999
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 5: You're You're You're an extraordinary person. You really are.

1000
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:56,799
Speaker 3: Thank you right back right back at you, lay right

1001
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:59,200
Speaker 3: back at you, and you too, Catherine, look back at you.

1002
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:02,280
Speaker 4: Likewise, Yeah, let's great advice today.

1003
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:04,719
Speaker 1: Yeah you did, you did you great? You brought it.

1004
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:05,720
Speaker 1: You brought it.

1005
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 5: Like that's a heavy thing, Like because you tell yourself

1006
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:12,240
Speaker 5: you make this choice when you're a kid. I was married.

1007
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:16,959
Speaker 5: I married somebody, and I just thought, like I picked

1008
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:20,400
Speaker 5: the guy who was right on paper, he wasn't that

1009
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 5: great to me. It was like all the things we

1010
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 5: were we were not suited. He wanted like a giraffe,

1011
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:29,160
Speaker 5: you know, he wanted a zebra, and I'm a giraffe.

1012
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:31,480
Speaker 5: And it's like I just thought, you know, I think

1013
00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:34,239
Speaker 5: women think we think we can just like compartmentalize and

1014
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 5: I can beat this and I can do this, and

1015
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 5: I can sort of fragment myself enough to make everybody

1016
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:44,919
Speaker 5: happy and instead of saying, no, this isn't what makes

1017
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:47,480
Speaker 5: me happy and like sort of that to go back

1018
00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 5: to Mike, to live your life unapologetically.

1019
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:53,399
Speaker 3: Well, I appreciate everything you said, and I appreciate you,

1020
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 3: and I I'm so happy for your success. I'm so

1021
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 3: excited for you and all of the things that are

1022
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:01,320
Speaker 3: to come, and I just can't wait to see you

1023
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:03,480
Speaker 3: again in persons, And thank you for being here on

1024
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea.

1025
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:04,840
Speaker 1: You were awesome.

1026
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 5: We loved thanks.

1027
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 4: And you made great faces too.

1028
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:13,800
Speaker 3: Yes, best faces, best faces on the show, Leslie bit everybody.

1029
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:15,959
Speaker 5: All right, guys, thank you so much. I'll see you later, Chess.

1030
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 1: Okay, have a great day.

1031
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 3: Hi bye, Do do do Do Do do drum roll

1032
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:30,879
Speaker 3: Catherine please Chelsea Handler abroad. Abroad is my European tour.

1033
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:34,920
Speaker 3: So I'm coming to obviously find.

1034
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 1: A husband abroad.

1035
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 3: I need to get the help out of this fucking

1036
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:41,839
Speaker 3: country and it's not as easy as you think. So

1037
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 3: I'm coming to Rekuvic, I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming

1038
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:50,840
Speaker 3: to the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast.

1039
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:51,720
Speaker 1: In May and June.

1040
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 3: I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,

1041
00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:04,080
Speaker 3: New Zurich, Vienna. I've ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona, Lisbon.

1042
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:06,920
Speaker 3: I'm coming abroad.

1043
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:08,680
Speaker 4: Is abroad that sounds like fun.

1044
00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:09,840
Speaker 1: I'm going to go see you abroad.

1045
00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 3: I right out. I want to go see me abroad

1046
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 3: and there all be, there all be upcoming Vegas, States,

1047
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:21,040
Speaker 3: April eighteenth, July fifth, August thirtieth, November one and twenty

1048
00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:23,840
Speaker 3: ninth at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.

1049
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 2: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

1050
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 2: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

1051
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:32,480
Speaker 2: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1052
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 2: and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Catherine Law and

1053
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,640
Speaker 2: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

1054
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:40,719
Speaker 2: com