1 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:08,800 Speaker 1: Roddy's never let me define my self worth based on 2 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: my success. So when I first started to experience success, 3 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:17,080 Speaker 1: Roddy didn't celebrate it in the way I wanted her to, 4 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:21,799 Speaker 1: and I would want. Look, I'd wanted my wife to 5 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 1: be my number one fan and my biggest cheerleader, and 6 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,960 Speaker 1: she wasn't for my career. But I had to realize 7 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: if I skewed my perspective, she was for who I was, 8 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 1: So if it came to my character, that's what she 9 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 1: was backing. I think we all want to be loved 10 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 1: for who we are and not loved for what we achieve. 11 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,279 Speaker 2: I did start listening to your podcast last year. 12 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 3: That was New York Times best selling author and host 13 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 3: of On Purpose, Jay Shuddy, and today we are sharing 14 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 3: a special best of episode here on My Legacy. This 15 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 3: conversation with Jay and his partner in life, Roddy dev Lukia, 16 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 3: a wellness advocate, and how most of a Really Good 17 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 3: Cry quickly became one of our most loved Hosted by 18 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 3: Martin Luther King the Third, his wife Andrea Waters King, 19 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:11,880 Speaker 3: and their friends Mark and Craig Kielberger, this conversation is 20 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:15,320 Speaker 3: a vulnerable, funny and refreshingly honest look at love, what 21 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 3: it really means to show up, grow up, and choose 22 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 3: each other daily. Together, Jay and Roddy teach us how 23 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 3: to stop defining your worth by your success. How your 24 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:28,199 Speaker 3: partner can be your greatest teacher if you're willing to listen. 25 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:32,040 Speaker 3: How small moments can hold the biggest meaning. Let's jump in. 26 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,320 Speaker 4: Welcome to the My Legacy Podcast, where we explore what 27 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:39,120 Speaker 4: it truly means to create a living legacy through our actions, 28 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,319 Speaker 4: our choices, and the way we show up for others 29 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 4: every day. Ronor to be joined by Jay Shetty, global 30 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 4: bestselling author and purpose driven entrepreneur whose wisdom on love, mindfulness, 31 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:55,560 Speaker 4: and personal transformation has reached millions through his number one 32 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 4: podcast on Purpose Now. Of course, what makes the My 33 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 4: Life Legacy Podcast unique is we don't just hear from 34 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 4: extraordinary individuals. We hear from their life partners, their friends, 35 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 4: the people who know them best. And we're beyond lucky 36 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:16,520 Speaker 4: because Jay is joined today by his incredible wife, Roddy 37 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 4: de Vlukiya. She is a nutritionist. She is a best 38 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 4: selling author. 39 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 5: Of joy Full. 40 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 4: She is the host of her own podcast, A Really 41 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,560 Speaker 4: Good Cry, I Love that title. She's a powerful force 42 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 4: for wellness, for conscious living and for joyful cooking. Welcome 43 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 4: to you both. 44 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 2: Thank you so much. 45 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so grateful to be back with you and 46 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 1: reunited with all of you. Thank you so much for 47 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 1: having us. We're so honored and so grateful. Truly, it 48 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,080 Speaker 1: was such a wonderful to be in your presence a 49 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:49,640 Speaker 1: year ago. Now is it even longer? 50 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 6: It was about a year ago, about a year ago. 51 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:56,119 Speaker 1: I feel so wonderful to be reunited, and I wish 52 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 1: you were meeting Raddy in passion too. 53 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 5: That we'll settle for this. 54 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,639 Speaker 6: We must do dinner when we're all on the same 55 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 6: coast again. 56 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 5: We would love that, ye absolutely. 57 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes, well, Jay on that note, because we 58 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 4: want to know you over well gosh, probably a decade now, 59 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 4: but we don't know Rady as well. So if I 60 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 4: can put you on the spot, the two of you 61 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 4: have created this incredible relationship based on conscious living, on Purpose, 62 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 4: on joy. So how did you first meet this incredible 63 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,360 Speaker 4: woman and how did you know that she was your person? 64 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 5: Ha ha. 65 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,080 Speaker 1: So the interesting thing is the first episode of my 66 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,800 Speaker 1: podcast On Purpose Ever was me and Rady telling this 67 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: story together and I always wanted to start the show 68 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 1: at a really authentic, genuine, conscious place, and I thought, 69 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 1: why not do it with the person who knows me 70 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 1: best and knows me most deeply. And so the long story, 71 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 1: short version is I was in my final year of 72 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: college and I knew that I was going to become 73 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: a monk after I graduated, and I would go to 74 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 1: my local temple to serve and assist on the weekends 75 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: just to stay out of trouble. And when I was 76 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 1: doing that service, I was asked to show a woman 77 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: around who was around my mom's age, with different chores 78 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: and different practices at the temple. I'd never been asked 79 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 1: to do this before. This was the first time I 80 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,840 Speaker 1: showed her around. She was very sweet, and then at 81 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 1: the end of it, she said to me, I have 82 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 1: a daughter that I'd love to introduce to spirituality and meditation. 83 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,280 Speaker 1: And I said, well, I'm going to become a monk, 84 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 1: so I can introduce her to my younger sister who's 85 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: also involved in the community, and why don't you bring 86 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: her in? And so, you know, that week she brought 87 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,599 Speaker 1: her in and it happened to be my wife's mom 88 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,880 Speaker 1: and Raley was her daughter who came in and I 89 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: introduced Radi and my sister, and I remember seeing rally 90 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,719 Speaker 1: and thinking she was the most beautiful woman in the world, 91 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 1: and I thought, no, no. 92 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 5: No, focus, focus, focus has become a monk, and so 93 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 5: I kind of like shut it out. 94 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 1: And then when I came back from the monastery, Radi 95 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 1: and my sister had become best friends, and so my 96 00:04:57,279 --> 00:05:01,840 Speaker 1: sister was our matchmaker. So that's how we met, and 97 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:03,919 Speaker 1: then how I knew she was the one. 98 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 5: You know, it's really interesting. 99 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 1: Someone asked me this question recently, and I think I 100 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 1: gave at least what I believe to be a truthful 101 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 1: and honest answer, and is that I don't know if 102 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: you ever know. 103 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 5: I think you. 104 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: Commit and invest to building something together, and you know 105 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,919 Speaker 1: because the other person also wants to commit and build 106 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:29,120 Speaker 1: and invest in you, and that's what makes them the one. 107 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 1: And I really believe that it's quite naive to think 108 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,599 Speaker 1: when you meet someone, or when you move in with someone, 109 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,640 Speaker 1: or when you marry someone, that this is going to 110 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,760 Speaker 1: be the person you're with for three or four or 111 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 1: five decades in today's world, and so for me, I 112 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:47,040 Speaker 1: know that Radi's the one because she invests every day 113 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:50,919 Speaker 1: today more than even when we started. And that's something 114 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:54,039 Speaker 1: that I can only discover today, and I couldn't have 115 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 1: known twelve years ago when we first got together, and 116 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: nine years ago when we got married, I couldn't have 117 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: posible known that. And so I hope that freeze people 118 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,280 Speaker 1: up from this pressure and expectation that I've got to 119 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,600 Speaker 1: find this person on day one and know that they're 120 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 1: going to be perfect and the person. When I probably 121 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:12,039 Speaker 1: would have said that twelve years ago if you asked me, 122 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 1: like I found the one, I know it now when 123 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,599 Speaker 1: I look back, I'm like, no, I'm lucky. She's proved 124 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 1: me right, but she very easily could have proved me wrong. 125 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 1: And so I'm very grateful that she's, you know, stood 126 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 1: by me through so many ups and downs and so 127 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 1: many incredible journeys that we've been on. 128 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:32,159 Speaker 6: So roddy, I'm very very curious. So you're at a 129 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:38,359 Speaker 6: temple and you see this wonderful human being that was 130 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:43,160 Speaker 6: training to be a monk, and what was going through 131 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,280 Speaker 6: your mind when you first when you first met him. 132 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,400 Speaker 7: That's a really good question, you know, I he was 133 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 7: in like he was in white robes at the time, 134 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 7: weren't you. 135 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,039 Speaker 2: Yeah, he was training to be a monk. He was 136 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 2: in white robes. He knew my mom. It was like 137 00:06:57,839 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 2: a very odd situation. 138 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 7: My mom was introducing us, and so when I saw him, 139 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:04,040 Speaker 7: it was it was interesting because he had like tattoos 140 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:09,600 Speaker 7: in monk clothes, was a very like, well spoken person, 141 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 7: where normally, in my mind, a monk was someone who 142 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 7: was from India and I, you know, usually would have 143 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 7: to speak to them in another language. 144 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 2: And so it was kind of. 145 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 7: Changing a lot of narratives in my mind of what 146 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 7: I expected to see when my mom was like, oh, 147 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 7: I want to introduce you to this monk. So I 148 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 7: think I was readjusting to my expectations. And then I 149 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 7: mean I started going to his classes and hearing him 150 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 7: speak about spirituality, and honestly, I think I felt in 151 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 7: awe of him through watching him in those spaces and 152 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 7: in the community, and you know, I ended up being 153 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 7: an observer of him rather than a friend at the beginning, 154 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,240 Speaker 7: because we didn't really have a friendship or a relationship 155 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 7: at all when we first met. So it was quite 156 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,320 Speaker 7: nice seeing him in his own environment doing something that 157 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 7: he loved. And so at first it was almost like 158 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 7: he had. He felt like a teacher and a guide 159 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 7: more than he felt like someone that I was thinking 160 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 7: I could be with. But then when I became friends 161 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 7: with his sister and she kept telling me all these 162 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 7: amazing things about him, I was like, Oh, he's so 163 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 7: sweet and they have the sweetest relationship he you know, 164 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 7: he is like a father figure to her, and she 165 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 7: loves him so much. And I thought, well, someone who's 166 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 7: got that relationship with their sister, and usually your sibling 167 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 7: has the best and worst things to say about you, 168 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:24,120 Speaker 7: And she just loved him so much. And so there 169 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 7: was moments where you know, I kept saying to I 170 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 7: was like, you know, I think every like your brother, 171 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 7: and she was like, you can't. He's going to be 172 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 7: a monk for the rest of his life. Leave him alone. 173 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:33,599 Speaker 7: She was like, I need you to leave him, and 174 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 7: I please leave. Yeah, please, I'm just telling you he 175 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,600 Speaker 7: wants to be a monk forever. So yeah, I kind 176 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 7: of gave up on that idea. And so as soon 177 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 7: as he came out from being a monk and we 178 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 7: got to know each other, we both just realized how 179 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,520 Speaker 7: how right we ended up being about each other, as 180 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:50,719 Speaker 7: he said, and it was a nice surprise because it 181 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:51,680 Speaker 7: could have gone both ways. 182 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:54,839 Speaker 6: You know, I love that she said fell in awe 183 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:57,600 Speaker 6: rather than fell in love. I don't think I've ever 184 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:01,320 Speaker 6: really heard that way. That's so beautiful. Yes, yes, fell 185 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 6: and awe. 186 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:03,599 Speaker 1: But the one thing she left out was that she 187 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 1: usually tells a bit like you didn't You didn't clarify 188 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,080 Speaker 1: that actually when we first met, you just didn't notice me, 189 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 1: and I didn't like, just yeah. 190 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,200 Speaker 2: I did notice you. I just wasn't like. 191 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 7: It wasn't like my mom saying, hey, here's someone for 192 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 7: you to meet in that way. 193 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 6: And we're just getting started with Jay and Roddy. Grab 194 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 6: that second cup of coffee or tea because you don't 195 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 6: want to miss a moment. 196 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,360 Speaker 4: Now back to my legacy. 197 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:46,959 Speaker 6: So, okay, we know the challenges of working with your 198 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 6: your partner. 199 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,960 Speaker 8: There's challenges. 200 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:58,800 Speaker 6: It's wonderful smiling, he's not saying a word right now. 201 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:03,840 Speaker 2: It so wonderful all the time every day. 202 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:08,079 Speaker 6: How do you all navigate through through those challenges? 203 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 5: How do we deal with working with each other? 204 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:16,560 Speaker 4: That very wise, He's like, let me see. 205 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 7: What she says. I would say, you know, the good 206 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:27,120 Speaker 7: thing is we both have extremely different skill sets like 207 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 7: we are very different humans, and so what what's great 208 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,520 Speaker 7: in that sense is Jay handles a lot of the 209 00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 7: things that I don't want to or don't have the 210 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 7: skills too. I would say, like, he's really good at 211 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 7: the business side of things, and I really enjoy the 212 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 7: creative side of things. And so especially for the main 213 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,280 Speaker 7: project we work on together is Junior, our tea company, 214 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 7: and so he does a lot of the business management calls. 215 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 9: Is that what you call. 216 00:10:56,000 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 7: It, like the final and stuff and what else? 217 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:02,560 Speaker 2: Would you call it? 218 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:03,120 Speaker 5: Strategic? 219 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:07,599 Speaker 7: The strategic stuff? Yeah, And I really liked doing the creative, 220 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:12,440 Speaker 7: working with the team to do events and building the brands, 221 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,960 Speaker 7: the flavors of the Yeah, the flavors, the intricacies behind 222 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,320 Speaker 7: what we actually put into the product. 223 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 2: And so honestly, we're not often on the same. 224 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:26,680 Speaker 7: Cause, and so we do work together, but I wouldn't say. 225 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:33,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've only ever The only thing we've 226 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 1: ever done together work wise is our tea coompany JUNI, 227 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 1: and that was really exciting because that was something that 228 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 1: we shared in common. We both wanted to drink drinks 229 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 1: that didn't have sugar, so we wanted to build a 230 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 1: zero gram sugar drink. We wanted something with low calories, 231 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,600 Speaker 1: so only as five calories. We wanted something that was 232 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 1: filled with ashwagandha and rishi mushroom and all these things 233 00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:57,800 Speaker 1: that we know we should be taking, and so that's 234 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,200 Speaker 1: why we focused on that. But the reason why it 235 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,680 Speaker 1: is easy to work on it together is because we 236 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 1: founded the company many years into our marriage, and I 237 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 1: think by then we have a good understanding of each 238 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,959 Speaker 1: other's strengths and weaknesses, and we have a lot of trust. 239 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 1: So I know, if Radi's on a call about flavor profiles, 240 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,640 Speaker 1: I know she understands flavor profiles far better than I 241 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:19,280 Speaker 1: ever would. 242 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,199 Speaker 5: My palette is really basic. 243 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:24,080 Speaker 1: Right before I met her, I had no idea what 244 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:28,240 Speaker 1: any of these incredible herbs and plant extracts and adaptations are. 245 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 1: And so her level of knowledge in that field is 246 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 1: something I can trust. It's something I would back, it's 247 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 1: something I feel very confident in, and thankfully she feels 248 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 1: that way about me and my strengths, and so I 249 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 1: think that's why it works for us. 250 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:43,560 Speaker 5: I don't think I could. I think I'd find it 251 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 5: hard if. 252 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,440 Speaker 1: We had similar skill sets and we were constantly debating 253 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:49,680 Speaker 1: and figuring it out. I quite like the dividing conquers 254 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:51,239 Speaker 1: who works. 255 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,320 Speaker 8: Well well, we love your tea company, we love your 256 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 8: t brand. 257 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:54,280 Speaker 7: Jay. 258 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:57,080 Speaker 8: In your international best selling book Eight Rules of Love, 259 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 8: you talk about what it takes to nurture a relationship. 260 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,760 Speaker 8: Can you give us one or two of your top 261 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:06,800 Speaker 8: suggestions on how you can continuously strengthen bonds between couples. 262 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,720 Speaker 1: Shouldn't be asking all of you this, but I'll try 263 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: my best. I'm sure there's a lot more wisdom on 264 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:17,320 Speaker 1: that side of the table. So I feel underqualified, but 265 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 1: I would say one of my favorite ones is I 266 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,200 Speaker 1: have a chapter in the book called your partner is 267 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:29,320 Speaker 1: Your Guru. And what I mean by that is that 268 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:36,240 Speaker 1: not that they're an authoritative, judgmental, dictatorial individual, because that's 269 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,200 Speaker 1: not what a guru is. A guru is someone who's 270 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:44,079 Speaker 1: dedicated to your growth, who's committed to helping you find 271 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 1: your path, and who's patient while. 272 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:47,240 Speaker 5: You do it. 273 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 1: That's actually what a guru is, especially in the Eastern traditions. 274 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 1: And one of my favorite things about that is that 275 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:55,439 Speaker 1: your partner. 276 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 5: Is really a mirror. 277 00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:00,160 Speaker 1: And the challenge we have in relationships is that the 278 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 1: right partner holds up the mirror in a non judgmental way. 279 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: But we're so convinced that the mirror is broken because 280 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:13,000 Speaker 1: we don't like what we see that we reject them. 281 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,760 Speaker 1: So we reject the one person who actually has the 282 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: ability to help us grow. And so Radi has been 283 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 1: completely non judgmental, empathetic, and compassionate about my health journey. 284 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,520 Speaker 1: When I met Radi, I was addicted to sugar, I 285 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:32,080 Speaker 1: ate a lot of fried food. I was fairly unhealthy physically, 286 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 1: and because I had a strong mind and meditated daily 287 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 1: and felt like I'd got somewhere with that journey, I 288 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 1: felt like my body almost didn't matter. I almost felt 289 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:45,120 Speaker 1: like it was a afterthought. And she didn't teach me 290 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,240 Speaker 1: by telling me I was wrong and that I was 291 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:49,520 Speaker 1: wasting time, that I was being lazy, and that I 292 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 1: should work out more, because none of those things would 293 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,440 Speaker 1: have helped me, because my ego would have come to 294 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 1: my defense and been a shield and pushed back, and 295 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,240 Speaker 1: I would have been affected by that like I think 296 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 1: we all are. Instead, she set the example. She's worked 297 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 1: out every day i've known her, She's eaten a clean diet, 298 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:10,400 Speaker 1: she's always cooked healthy food. She encouraged me and educated 299 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,880 Speaker 1: me in the challenges of how I was living without 300 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,480 Speaker 1: making me feel bad about them, and she's been my 301 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:18,280 Speaker 1: guru for my health and so to me, when your 302 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,480 Speaker 1: partner is your guru, and you allow your partner to 303 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:26,840 Speaker 1: teach you in a non judgmental, non confrontational, non finger 304 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:30,960 Speaker 1: pointing way, that is the person who can help you grow. 305 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 1: There's no one on planet Earth who could make you 306 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: a better human being than the person you spend the 307 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 1: most time with, so that your partners, your guru is 308 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,800 Speaker 1: probably one of them. And I think you said a couple. 309 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:44,720 Speaker 1: I would add that the problem is we often want 310 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:49,000 Speaker 1: our partners to change, but what we don't have is 311 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:53,560 Speaker 1: the patience that it takes to watch them change. And 312 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,400 Speaker 1: we also want them to change into the people we 313 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,560 Speaker 1: want them to be, not the people that they want 314 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 1: them to be. We see their potential and we say 315 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 1: you must rise to this. We see the possibility and 316 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 1: we say you must reach this. We see the result 317 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:13,560 Speaker 1: for them that we've projected, and we say, if you 318 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:17,080 Speaker 1: don't get to this, you've failed. And never have we 319 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 1: asked them, who do you want to be? How do 320 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,640 Speaker 1: you want to live your life? What are you trying 321 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 1: to accomplish. And it's really interesting to me that we believe, 322 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 1: just because we want to invest in them, that that 323 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:36,600 Speaker 1: care is greater than their ambition. And I think we 324 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:40,040 Speaker 1: work so hard we want to be their savior. We 325 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:43,320 Speaker 1: want to be the person to solve all their problems, 326 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,760 Speaker 1: we want to be the person who fixes everything for 327 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 1: them just to feel good about ourselves. We don't actually 328 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,480 Speaker 1: want them to be happy. We just want to be 329 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 1: happy that we're doing something for them, and so we 330 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,600 Speaker 1: don't really give them the patience, the time, the energy 331 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,160 Speaker 1: to find who they are and move in that direction 332 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,639 Speaker 1: for themselves because we want to feel like we're helping, 333 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,080 Speaker 1: we're fixing, where I'm here to solve all your problems, 334 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,400 Speaker 1: and in that you try to be the person who 335 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,200 Speaker 1: saves them, but actually you push them away. So those 336 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,360 Speaker 1: would be my two biggest things that I think if 337 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:17,879 Speaker 1: we can, on the first hand, learn to be a 338 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:22,080 Speaker 1: guru that's non judgmental, and on the second hand, learn 339 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:25,520 Speaker 1: to be patient and let people become who they want 340 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,720 Speaker 1: to be, not try to make them who we want. 341 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:27,919 Speaker 5: Them to be. 342 00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 4: I love that on a personal note because I'm going 343 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,240 Speaker 4: to own that, and I think a lot of guys 344 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 4: who are husbands need to own that just being radically 345 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,479 Speaker 4: transparent because you called it as it is, like it 346 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,880 Speaker 4: is this male desire to want to help, to want 347 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 4: to protect, and so often it is that instead that 348 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,320 Speaker 4: patience that's sitting in it. And I love I love 349 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:52,520 Speaker 4: that phrase. I wrote that down, like, you know, the 350 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,440 Speaker 4: idea of supporting who they want to be, asking them 351 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 4: you know who they want to be, and then supporting 352 00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:00,200 Speaker 4: them with that patience on that journey, not wanting to help, 353 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 4: not want to even though it comes from a good place, 354 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 4: just giving the space. I just so many husbands out there, 355 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:11,440 Speaker 4: anyone who's listening who wants to play that clip back 356 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:15,159 Speaker 4: on social media for someone in their life to sit with. 357 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,800 Speaker 4: I just want to encourage them to sit with that 358 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,520 Speaker 4: for a few minutes. I love the honesty of that advice. 359 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:25,960 Speaker 8: Well, and the partner is your guru is just so profound. 360 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's changed my life. I didn't know all this 361 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,240 Speaker 1: before I got married. I think you figure it out 362 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,679 Speaker 1: when you are married, and then you start learning how 363 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 1: much it has to teach you and how much better 364 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,720 Speaker 1: you have to become because you love someone. And I 365 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 1: think that's the difference. The right person inspires you to 366 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 1: want to become better, not want to make them better. 367 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,879 Speaker 1: Like you know, yeah, I think we're constantly worrying about 368 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,119 Speaker 1: oh God, they're not doing this, and they're not doing that, 369 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,200 Speaker 1: and they're not doing this, and the right person makes 370 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,120 Speaker 1: you look at yourself and go, well, I'm not doing that. 371 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,080 Speaker 1: So let me start there. 372 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,920 Speaker 6: If you're listening, you already know that this show is 373 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:02,000 Speaker 6: built on connection, on showing up authentically, and on reminding 374 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 6: each of us of what really matters. If this resonates 375 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 6: with you, subscribing is the easiest way to support what 376 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,760 Speaker 6: we're building and help us bring more of these uplifting 377 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,359 Speaker 6: conversations into the world. 378 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,360 Speaker 4: Now back to my legacy. 379 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:28,560 Speaker 10: This is a very simple thing, but it's very important. 380 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:33,960 Speaker 10: I rarely get sick and I'm blessed and fortunate, but 381 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:38,880 Speaker 10: a lot of that, in my mind is because every day, 382 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,720 Speaker 10: not a day goes by that I'mrea doesn't put out 383 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 10: vitamins from me. Now, I would like to be That's 384 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,840 Speaker 10: a simple thing. I'd love to be able to do that, 385 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 10: and I will get there. But that constantly reinforces. You know, 386 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,480 Speaker 10: when your partner loves you so much that they're very 387 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 10: concerned about your being healthy, being able to go out 388 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,880 Speaker 10: into the world as many of us have to do. 389 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,000 Speaker 10: So I want to ask you both, what simple thing 390 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:09,159 Speaker 10: does your partner do to show that they love you? 391 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 2: Ah, my gosh, Jason. 392 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 7: Well, Jason very expressive person, but it's not just the 393 00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:18,120 Speaker 7: words that he uses, like he is someone who will 394 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,080 Speaker 7: verbally check in and be like, what can I do 395 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,399 Speaker 7: to make you happier? Is there anyway I can help you? 396 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 7: And he says that to me on a regular basis. 397 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,760 Speaker 7: So I think one part of it is being vocal 398 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:31,120 Speaker 7: about how you want to be there for your partner, 399 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,360 Speaker 7: which I actually wasn't very good at and I'm still 400 00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 7: getting better at to actually vocalize it. I've you know, 401 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,240 Speaker 7: in my mind, I'm I see myself more of an 402 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:40,359 Speaker 7: active service, which is how I've seen my parents be. 403 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:41,960 Speaker 2: So I'd be like, oh, but in my. 404 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 7: Mind, I've cooked a meal and I've done this little thing. 405 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,240 Speaker 7: But sometimes you realize that actually having those vocal moments 406 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:52,280 Speaker 7: are really important and how much that makes a difference 407 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 7: in a relationship. But then in action, it's like the 408 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,400 Speaker 7: little things of you know, even if he's just sat down, 409 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,440 Speaker 7: when I've sat down and I need some thing, he'll 410 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 7: get back up, Like if I won't get back up, 411 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:05,400 Speaker 7: he'll get back up to get it for me. Or 412 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,000 Speaker 7: if I am feeling. 413 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,200 Speaker 2: You still do it. 414 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,439 Speaker 7: And you know, it's those little things where you just 415 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,240 Speaker 7: notice someone going out of their way for you, because 416 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,960 Speaker 7: not many people want to go out of their way 417 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:21,200 Speaker 7: for you. And then another one is whenever I'm having 418 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 7: I'm quite an emotional person, and whenever he feels my 419 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,760 Speaker 7: energy is a little bit off, he'll always, no matter 420 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 7: what he's got going on, he'll always make space and 421 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,199 Speaker 7: time to just check in and be like, do you 422 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,480 Speaker 7: need do you need help with anything? 423 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:32,720 Speaker 2: Can I sit with you? 424 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,840 Speaker 7: I can work through whether it's a work thing, whether 425 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,439 Speaker 7: it's a family thing. You know, he always creates the 426 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,440 Speaker 7: time and space, no matter how busy, to have those 427 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,080 Speaker 7: moments of connection if he feels like I really need it. 428 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,639 Speaker 7: And so, I mean, I could probably go on, but 429 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,600 Speaker 7: I'll leave it that. There's are a couple of them. 430 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:51,119 Speaker 7: But yeah, there's so many different ways he expresses himself. 431 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 1: Actually, Jay, Yeah, so many as well. I think for me, 432 00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:00,880 Speaker 1: the biggest one is I think when we first got 433 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,159 Speaker 1: married and we moved to New York, and then we 434 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:04,919 Speaker 1: were kind of there for a couple of years, then 435 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:08,199 Speaker 1: moving to la and we've just been through so much change, 436 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:13,760 Speaker 1: and change that wasn't anticipated or expected, so changed that 437 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,520 Speaker 1: we both had planned to live our whole lives fifteen 438 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:21,359 Speaker 1: minutes from our local temple in England and five minutes 439 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:25,280 Speaker 1: away from Radi's parents' home. And actually that was one 440 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,879 Speaker 1: of her requirements for us getting married, was that she 441 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:32,440 Speaker 1: could be a one mile radius away from her parents' 442 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,719 Speaker 1: home and I'd commit to that, and I genuinely had 443 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,679 Speaker 1: committed to that. It was something that I thought was 444 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 1: very real. All of our friends are in that area, 445 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:41,680 Speaker 1: families in that area. 446 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:42,439 Speaker 5: It made sense. 447 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,159 Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden my career took a 448 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 1: turn in twenty sixteen when this part of my life 449 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:52,200 Speaker 1: started to grow, and it's continued to for the nine years, thankfully. 450 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:56,240 Speaker 1: And if I'm completely honest, that was completely not part 451 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 1: of the plan, not my plan, not her plan, not 452 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:02,960 Speaker 1: our plan. But it was what I couldn't even have 453 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 1: dreamed of. And not once in the last nine years 454 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,040 Speaker 1: has Radi ever said to me, look what I gave 455 00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 1: up for you. And oh God, I could cry saying this, 456 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,840 Speaker 1: but it's one of those things. It's like, I know 457 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,520 Speaker 1: how much her parents mean to her, now much her 458 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,080 Speaker 1: family friends mean to her. I know how much London 459 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:28,640 Speaker 1: means to her, and for her to move away, for 460 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 1: her to give that up when we didn't have clarity, 461 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,320 Speaker 1: Like you know, we're very fortunate today to have a 462 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:39,320 Speaker 1: wonderful life, but getting here wasn't easy. I was away 463 00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:42,439 Speaker 1: a lot, I traveled a lot for work. I was 464 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,760 Speaker 1: building things, moving around. And never once did she say, 465 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:50,000 Speaker 1: I gave this all up for you. You're never around, you 466 00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:54,600 Speaker 1: work too hard. And I think that kind of trust 467 00:23:55,080 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 1: without nagging, without making someone feel bad, when I was 468 00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:03,480 Speaker 1: already carrying the burden of it myself. And I think 469 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,240 Speaker 1: that's the feeling that makes you feel loved where you're like, 470 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,639 Speaker 1: I was already feeling that way myself. So if she 471 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,080 Speaker 1: would have said it to me, it probably would have 472 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 1: broken me. But the fact that she didn't feel that 473 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,440 Speaker 1: she had to say it to me makes me feel loved. 474 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:23,399 Speaker 1: So not blaming, not shaming, not pushing, not prodding is is. 475 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,920 Speaker 1: It feels like a small thing, but actually it's huge, 476 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 1: And even at the most difficult times in our life, 477 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:37,639 Speaker 1: whether we were financially struggling, you know, struggling with moving, changing, 478 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,959 Speaker 1: whatever things were going on in our life. Every time 479 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,679 Speaker 1: I'd update her on what would happen, she'd always say, 480 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:46,520 Speaker 1: I trust you. And hearing your partner say that when 481 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,600 Speaker 1: you don't even know what's going to happen next is 482 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:53,760 Speaker 1: the greatest sign of love. And so and and you know, 483 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:58,080 Speaker 1: she radly decided to date me and commit to a 484 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,400 Speaker 1: relationship with me when I had nothing to offer about myself, 485 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:05,439 Speaker 1: and so that's a pretty big thing. She could have 486 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,960 Speaker 1: married anyone she wanted to marry. And so her decision 487 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,480 Speaker 1: to be with someone who didn't have a even a 488 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,520 Speaker 1: secure job when we first started dating, and you know, 489 00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:16,720 Speaker 1: someone who'd been in the monastery for three years and 490 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,840 Speaker 1: didn't have any sort of savings or any sort of plan, 491 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,919 Speaker 1: I think it shows her character and her ability to 492 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:29,960 Speaker 1: you know, go beyond material things. And the more recent one, 493 00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:31,560 Speaker 1: I mean, I could go on as well. I think 494 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:35,720 Speaker 1: the more recently I need to get one. Radi's never 495 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:40,440 Speaker 1: let me define my self worth based on my success. 496 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:45,840 Speaker 1: So when I first started to experience success, Raddi didn't 497 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:46,960 Speaker 1: celebrate it in the. 498 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:47,959 Speaker 5: Way I wanted her to. 499 00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:52,679 Speaker 1: And I would want look, I'd wanted my wife to 500 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,680 Speaker 1: be my number one fan and my biggest cheerleader, and 501 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 1: she wasn't for my career. But I had to realize 502 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 1: if I skewed my perspective, she was for who I was. 503 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,399 Speaker 1: So if it came to my character, that's what she 504 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:08,359 Speaker 1: was backing. She wasn't backing me because of my career, 505 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 1: and that took me. That helped me detach from valuing 506 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,720 Speaker 1: myself based on the success of my career because I 507 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,520 Speaker 1: think that's what I would have done and what I 508 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,240 Speaker 1: would have wanted if she had fallen in that way, 509 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:24,199 Speaker 1: And so her lack of validation for my career was 510 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,560 Speaker 1: the greatest validation for my career. 511 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:27,879 Speaker 7: I'm not. 512 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,160 Speaker 2: Great, but I mean I think. 513 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:32,680 Speaker 5: It's a say. 514 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,240 Speaker 1: And again going back to the men point, I think 515 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,919 Speaker 1: a lot of men like we want our partners to 516 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,440 Speaker 1: be like front row. We want them to be the cheerleader, 517 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,640 Speaker 1: like we've we've got that culture. And I'm not saying 518 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,639 Speaker 1: that my wife isn't my cheerleader and that, but I'm saying, 519 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,560 Speaker 1: your wife's cheerleading your character, not your career. That's better 520 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,440 Speaker 1: because the career is up and down, like the career 521 00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,439 Speaker 1: is going to do whatever it's going to do, but 522 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,600 Speaker 1: your characters who you are, Like, what do you want 523 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:56,920 Speaker 1: to be loved for? Do you want to be loved 524 00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 1: for the amount of followers you have? Or do you 525 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 1: want to be loved for who you are and how 526 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:03,879 Speaker 1: you show up and what she believes you represent? And 527 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,359 Speaker 1: so I think it's genuinely been laughing about it and 528 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:08,840 Speaker 1: it can't have funny connotations, but I want to clarify, 529 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,920 Speaker 1: Like the point is, I think we all want to 530 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,399 Speaker 1: be loved for who we are and not loved for 531 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:14,159 Speaker 1: what we achieve. 532 00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:16,120 Speaker 2: I did start listening to your podcast last year. 533 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:23,600 Speaker 8: That's guys, are hilarious. 534 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:24,240 Speaker 9: I love this. 535 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:39,360 Speaker 4: I love that your your voice was cracking, like. 536 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 5: The stop stopping going. 537 00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 4: I can see like Ye's eyes starting well and out 538 00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:37,760 Speaker 4: the two of you. 539 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:38,440 Speaker 5: It's awesome. 540 00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,160 Speaker 6: There are a great lesson in the languages of love 541 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,640 Speaker 6: and acknowledging that that you know that we all love 542 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,520 Speaker 6: different ways and we receive love differently. 543 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,720 Speaker 10: You know, when I first met Andrea, she was she 544 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,760 Speaker 10: was serious as border health. 545 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:58,440 Speaker 4: Health, serious health. 546 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:02,639 Speaker 10: That's pretty serious's pretty serious serious Andrea when she was 547 00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:07,600 Speaker 10: twenty ish, like I said, she was like really serious. 548 00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,639 Speaker 9: I don't know if I saw that. But all of 549 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:14,639 Speaker 9: a sudden, over the last like five years, she is 550 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,520 Speaker 9: becoming one of the most funny pre people that I know, 551 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:19,919 Speaker 9: one of the most funniest persons, And. 552 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,359 Speaker 10: It just adds so much to our lives. And people 553 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,640 Speaker 10: don't know my dad was humorous, got that from his mother. 554 00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,520 Speaker 10: They see him as as very serious what she always 555 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:33,160 Speaker 10: was publicly, but he also was extraordinarily humorous. 556 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 5: Roddy's the comedian in our relationship. 557 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,200 Speaker 6: So what are some things that she does to make 558 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:40,240 Speaker 6: you as Oh. 559 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 1: My god, Roddie's the gun busson that wakes up in 560 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:45,680 Speaker 1: the morning, does a random Daunce move, like just for fun, 561 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:49,120 Speaker 1: I walk into the kitchen, there's no music playing, there's 562 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,040 Speaker 1: no music playing, but Roddy's having a full on party 563 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 1: just in her head. Yeah, And it's so much fun 564 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 1: to watch. And just someone who's always looking at the 565 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:02,360 Speaker 1: bright side of life. Someone is always it's just so well. 566 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,480 Speaker 7: The time, you're painting me out to be like I 567 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,680 Speaker 7: can be a lot, It's okay, no you can't. 568 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,320 Speaker 1: She's but just yeah, she's hilarious in every possible way. 569 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,440 Speaker 1: She's making funny jokes. Everyone knows anyone who follows Rather 570 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,080 Speaker 1: on social media knows that she's hilarious and and my 571 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 1: team finds it really funny because on Valentine's Day or 572 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:26,440 Speaker 1: on our anniversary or whatever, I'll write these like long, soppy, romantic, 573 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,560 Speaker 1: heartfelt messages because that's who I am, and Rather will 574 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,240 Speaker 1: post an Ai video of me tworking. 575 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:35,800 Speaker 5: I'm not joking, it's real. 576 00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 4: Will we share that on social media? 577 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:41,880 Speaker 5: Is that available? We're going to put that Valentine's Day? Okay? 578 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,920 Speaker 5: I was like, literally, I wrote this beautiful post and 579 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,200 Speaker 5: she's got a video of Ai twerking. 580 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 2: You're a PDA person. Yeah, I struggle with that. 581 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:55,760 Speaker 6: We we obviously have laughed a lot today together and 582 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:59,400 Speaker 6: and that's that's that's wonderful, and it's so important we 583 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,960 Speaker 6: have to be very transparent that right now, it's it's 584 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:07,800 Speaker 6: very difficult for so many people, and so many people 585 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:15,840 Speaker 6: feel such an overwhelming fear, you know, disconnection, and so 586 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:22,240 Speaker 6: I would really I'm curious to hear from both of you. 587 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 6: What would you offer to to people that are that 588 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:30,120 Speaker 6: are feeling that that fear, that that disconnection, the overwhelm, 589 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:33,480 Speaker 6: the the stress. 590 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:41,000 Speaker 7: Good question. Uh, you know the first thing that came 591 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,240 Speaker 7: to mind for me is whenever I feel like things 592 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:49,040 Speaker 7: are out of my control, or I feel like overwhelmed 593 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:52,080 Speaker 7: at what's happening around me, or even in our own life. 594 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:53,480 Speaker 2: Uh, there's this. 595 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,760 Speaker 7: Every time I feel like it's just me, the problem 596 00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 7: feels really difficult to handle. But as soon as I 597 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 7: think the problem is me plus God, or me plus 598 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:06,240 Speaker 7: the universe or something that has a much higher power 599 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,520 Speaker 7: than I do, it starts to feel a little bit 600 00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:11,720 Speaker 7: more manageable. And so I find that prayer for me 601 00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:15,560 Speaker 7: has always been such a beautiful place to come to 602 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,760 Speaker 7: when all other hope feels lost. 603 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,400 Speaker 2: I think I get a lot of solace in prayer. 604 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,560 Speaker 7: And I think that also connects to the idea that 605 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:28,920 Speaker 7: if we can feel way more disconnected. 606 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:31,320 Speaker 2: When we don't feel connected. 607 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,080 Speaker 7: To ourself, and so whether it's practices and rituals to 608 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:37,040 Speaker 7: actually connect deeper to ourself that allows us to connect 609 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:40,520 Speaker 7: deeper to other people and have meaningful connections with others 610 00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:45,840 Speaker 7: that help us through those times. I think reconnecting every 611 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,120 Speaker 7: single day in some way to who you are and 612 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,240 Speaker 7: having those moments are really important to be able to 613 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,640 Speaker 7: connect to someone else, to be able to feel understood 614 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:59,080 Speaker 7: or valued by other people, and yeah, I think for me, 615 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,080 Speaker 7: the main one always up being prayer because I'm like, 616 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 7: at this point, I can't control anything because I'm leaving 617 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:04,040 Speaker 7: up to you. 618 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,160 Speaker 2: But yeah, I would love to hear some of yours. 619 00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:13,200 Speaker 1: There's something called the third space theory, and it's this 620 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:17,920 Speaker 1: idea that just around twenty five fifty years ago, we 621 00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:22,320 Speaker 1: had three spaces we lived in, We had home, we 622 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:27,479 Speaker 1: had work, and then we had church or temple, synagogue, mosque. 623 00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:31,520 Speaker 1: And what happened is that those three spaces shrunk to 624 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:35,120 Speaker 1: two spaces. We went from work to home and home 625 00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:38,480 Speaker 1: to work. And now we all know that those two 626 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,560 Speaker 1: places have shrunk into one place. We work from home 627 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,960 Speaker 1: and we live at home. And what's happened is not 628 00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,160 Speaker 1: that we've just lost three spaces, but we've lost what 629 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:52,200 Speaker 1: that third space provided us. So what happened at church 630 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,560 Speaker 1: or the community center or a place of gathering was 631 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:59,200 Speaker 1: you had a space to look back on work and home, 632 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:04,000 Speaker 1: state and everything else and reflect on how could I 633 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:07,800 Speaker 1: be better? What could I do differently? Let's figure out 634 00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,120 Speaker 1: together what the solution is, what can we all band 635 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:13,880 Speaker 1: to do together. So the biggest challenge today is that 636 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:18,320 Speaker 1: we're all feeling the same feeling, but we're feeling it 637 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:23,000 Speaker 1: on our own. We're lonely feeling the same thing. And 638 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:27,160 Speaker 1: there's a big difference between being lonely feeling something and 639 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,480 Speaker 1: feeling belonging and feeling something. And so what I would 640 00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:34,160 Speaker 1: encourage everyone to do is go and find your third space. 641 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:35,560 Speaker 5: Go and find your. 642 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,120 Speaker 1: Space of belonging, Go and find your space of connection. 643 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,440 Speaker 1: Go and find that space where you're with people of 644 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:45,120 Speaker 1: equal value, where you can share your heart, when you 645 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:48,440 Speaker 1: can hear other people's, when you can open up your mind, 646 00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,760 Speaker 1: where you can carry someone else's burden. I think we've 647 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 1: just lost that as a society, and I think these 648 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,680 Speaker 1: moments are great reminders that we are stronger when we 649 00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,920 Speaker 1: are working together. We are better, and we're working together, 650 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:05,200 Speaker 1: and ultimately, when we're united and carrying each other's weight, 651 00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,360 Speaker 1: the weight doesn't feel as large. And I think that's 652 00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,120 Speaker 1: the biggest challenge today, is that we're all carrying the 653 00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:13,360 Speaker 1: weight on our own and so finding that third space, 654 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,640 Speaker 1: creating that third space if you don't have it. The 655 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,960 Speaker 1: third space doesn't have to be two hundred people, two 656 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:22,319 Speaker 1: thousand people, twenty thousand people. It can literally be four 657 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:26,960 Speaker 1: people in a room that are reading scripture together, that 658 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,200 Speaker 1: are starting a book club, that are listening to this 659 00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:32,120 Speaker 1: podcast and sharing what they learned from you and all 660 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,560 Speaker 1: your amazing guests that you've had on It starts that small, 661 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,840 Speaker 1: and I really feel that we have to create that 662 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:41,279 Speaker 1: third space, even because right now our third space is 663 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,920 Speaker 1: all of us sitting in front of the television, and 664 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:47,720 Speaker 1: the TV screen is the third space. The phone screen 665 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,800 Speaker 1: is the third space, and that third space isn't giving 666 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:54,000 Speaker 1: you what the original third space gave you. 667 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:59,080 Speaker 4: Jin Raddi, thank you for sharing your wisdom, your love 668 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:04,799 Speaker 4: with each other in that beautiful, authentic way. The extraordinary 669 00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:06,839 Speaker 4: challenges that you've laid in front of us of how 670 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,799 Speaker 4: we can all our listeners and our viewers do small 671 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,279 Speaker 4: but deeply intentional things every day in our lives. And 672 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,680 Speaker 4: I want to relay some of those challenges again for 673 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:19,000 Speaker 4: the message that your partner is your guru. What a 674 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:22,479 Speaker 4: beautiful thing for our listeners to say to their loved ones, 675 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:25,160 Speaker 4: their partners after they listen to this, that you are 676 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,560 Speaker 4: my guru, You're the teacher you help me be better 677 00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:31,520 Speaker 4: to say that intentionally to someone. And then I also 678 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,720 Speaker 4: love the small but powerful idea of while we're cooking 679 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:38,239 Speaker 4: to infuse the love, to say a little prayer. You know, 680 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,319 Speaker 4: Andrea your music, you know a little bit of love. 681 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,399 Speaker 4: Jane Raddy, thank you for living your legacies every single 682 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:48,560 Speaker 4: day and reminding us that purpose isn't something we find, 683 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,320 Speaker 4: it's something we create in our lives. 684 00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:52,320 Speaker 9: Thank you. 685 00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:54,840 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful to all of you for creating what 686 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,960 Speaker 1: felt like such a beautiful safe space. 687 00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,120 Speaker 5: Even though we're connected virtually, it. 688 00:35:59,160 --> 00:35:59,880 Speaker 2: Speaks to all of it. 689 00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:02,200 Speaker 5: Jeezs it just felt like we were all in the 690 00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:03,960 Speaker 5: same room, and so thank you so much. 691 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,800 Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us for the special best of episode 692 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,719 Speaker 3: on My Legacy with Jay Shetty and his wife Roddy Devlukia. 693 00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:14,600 Speaker 3: If you want to hear the full conversation parts one 694 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:17,640 Speaker 3: and two, head to the My Legacy playlist wherever you 695 00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:21,200 Speaker 3: get your podcasts, and stay tuned. We'll be sharing more 696 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:24,839 Speaker 3: highlights from our favorite episodes every Tuesday through the end 697 00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,839 Speaker 3: of July. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss 698 00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:28,520 Speaker 3: an episode.