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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: You have to first know that it's not bad luck

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Speaker 2: that you're in the position you're in. The world is

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Speaker 2: not against you. Matter of fact, the world is for you.

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Speaker 2: The universe has got your back. Once you can do that,

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Speaker 2: then all the practices open up.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatingheirspace dot com to access our

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Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 3: women like you where you're goss yes, Doctor Dominique Broussard,

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Speaker 3: a college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 1: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 1: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 1: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 1: fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space where

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Speaker 1: black women can just.

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Speaker 3: Be Hey, lady's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her

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Speaker 3: Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state

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Speaker 3: of California in contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so,

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Speaker 3: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

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Speaker 3: That's d R D O M I N I q

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Speaker 3: U E b r O U ss ar D dot

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Speaker 3: com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look

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Speaker 3: forward to hearing from you.

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Speaker 1: All Right, lady, Today we have a very special guest

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Speaker 1: in Cultivating her Space. This guest shines right like a diamond,

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Speaker 1: and she can teach us a lot about finding our

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Speaker 1: value when we're all alone, which is very valuable for

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Speaker 1: all of us. Right. Ronda Ross is a personal power expert.

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Speaker 1: She's determined to shine her unique light even in an

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Speaker 1: already bright sky. An already bright sky is the term

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Speaker 1: Ronda uses to describe a world where those around us

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Speaker 1: are thriving, sometimes making us feel overlooked or left behind.

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Speaker 1: It's also a world where those around us seem to

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Speaker 1: be asking us to either dim our light or focus

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Speaker 1: it on them. Ronda was born in an already bright sky.

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Speaker 1: Her mother is music and fashion icon Diana Ross and

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Speaker 1: her father is Motown founder Barry Gordie. But Ronda has

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Speaker 1: found the power to not get law and her family shimmer. Instead,

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Speaker 1: she has carved out an authentic and shining life for herself,

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Speaker 1: full of integrity, love, fortitude, and joy. Ronda is now

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Speaker 1: an international singer, songwriter, Emmy nominated actress, and an inspirational

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Speaker 1: speaker who teaches us to love ourselves unconditionally, take responsibility

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Speaker 1: for our lives, and shine our unique lights even in

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Speaker 1: an already bright sky. Oh what a beautiful bio. Ronda,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to cultivating her Space. Thank you.

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Speaker 4: I'm so happy to be here.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, You're so welcome.

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Speaker 3: Yes, we are so excited to have you here. And

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Speaker 3: so we are going to get started with our quote

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Speaker 3: of the day now, Rhonda. Our quote will or this

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Speaker 3: quote will sound incredibly familiar to you because these are

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Speaker 3: your words. So our quote of the day. We have

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Speaker 3: everything we need inside of us, every single thing for

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Speaker 3: every single challenge. Now I'm gonna say that one more

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Speaker 3: time for the people in the back, because I need

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Speaker 3: them to pause and write this down. We have everything

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Speaker 3: we need inside of us, every single thing for every

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Speaker 3: single challenge. RNDA, Who I mean that quote of the

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Speaker 3: day is just like, it's only a small sample of

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Speaker 3: all of the inspirational words that you have been sharing

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Speaker 3: with folks. And so with this particular quote, what was

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Speaker 3: the inspiration? What came up for you? What comes up

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Speaker 3: for you now when you hear it?

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Speaker 2: That quote came out of these last two years of

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Speaker 2: the pandemic, because I think many of us have been

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Speaker 2: hit with things that we never expected. Not just physical

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Speaker 2: things like being locked down or we were never locked

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Speaker 2: down before, or having our children school from home that

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Speaker 2: we'd never done before online, et cetera, et cetera, but emotionally,

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Speaker 2: the fear, the anxiety, the loss, the grief, all of that.

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Speaker 2: I think we have found ourselves in positions we've never

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Speaker 2: been in before. And what I believe I knew before

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Speaker 2: the pandemic, but I really saw in the last two years,

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Speaker 2: is that inside of us, we each have.

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Speaker 4: A well of spirit of energy.

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Speaker 2: I call it the force within that will give us

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Speaker 2: everything we need, just like that quote will guide us

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Speaker 2: and heal us and soothe our hearts and calm our minds.

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Speaker 2: And our job is to recognize it, to harness it,

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Speaker 2: and to allow it to do its work because it's

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Speaker 2: there for us and it's in every single one of us,

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Speaker 2: every single one of us.

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Speaker 1: That is so beautiful, and I want to get into

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Speaker 1: how you found that internal light within yourself. So can

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Speaker 1: you talk to us a little bit about your origin

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Speaker 1: story and what was the journey to becoming the Rehnda

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Speaker 1: Ross that we see today.

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Speaker 2: Yes, my origin story, I love that so much. As

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Speaker 2: you mentioned in the introduction, I was born in a

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Speaker 2: very bright sky. So my family and extended family and

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Speaker 2: friends of family, my mother being the biggest of them, were.

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Speaker 4: Superstars in a very bright universe.

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Speaker 2: And when you were born into that, it can be

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Speaker 2: a challenge to figure out where is my light?

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Speaker 4: And what do I do with my light? And does

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Speaker 4: anybody care about my light? And what's the purpose of

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Speaker 4: my light?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 2: Luckily, I was raised by a mother who constantly constantly

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Speaker 2: told me and my four siblings, you do have your

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Speaker 2: unique light. It matters, and it's yours to do with

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Speaker 2: what you want to. You do not have to live

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Speaker 2: off of my light. So luckily I was raised with

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Speaker 2: that understanding, but still finding it was still a journey.

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Speaker 2: So I had found that pretty much three things can

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Speaker 2: happen when you're born into such a bright sky.

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Speaker 4: And I did all three. I bumped into all three

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Speaker 4: of them.

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Speaker 2: One of them is that you can abandon your power

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Speaker 2: by being embarrassed, an embarrassment of riches, right, being embarrassed

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Speaker 2: by all the light that's coming at you, all the

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Speaker 2: light that's around you, all the light that you were

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Speaker 2: born with.

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Speaker 1: You know what's that saying?

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Speaker 2: You know, he was born on third, but he thought

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Speaker 2: he hit a you know, he had thought he hit

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Speaker 2: a triple. You know, well, I was very clear that

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Speaker 2: I didn't hit a triple. I was very clear that

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Speaker 2: I was born on third, and there was something difficult

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Speaker 2: for me to accept that. And what happens is you

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Speaker 2: make these limiting beliefs. You come up with these limiting

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Speaker 2: beliefs that says no, no, no, no no, I don't

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Speaker 2: want any more, no no, no, no, no, no success

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Speaker 2: for me, please, no no no, no, no no, no

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Speaker 2: no love for me, please, because because you've gotten so

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Speaker 2: much already and you were born on third. So that's

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Speaker 2: one thing that can happen when you're in a very

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Speaker 2: bright sky. Another is that you can not know the value,

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Speaker 2: as I just said, not know the value of your

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Speaker 2: light or not know exactly where it is, where is

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Speaker 2: your lane, what is your thing? And it's really tempting

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Speaker 2: to fall in to doing other what the exterior people

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Speaker 2: expect you to do and expect you to be, instead

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Speaker 2: of finding what is truly your north star, what is

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Speaker 2: truly your calling. It's really easy to fall into that,

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Speaker 2: and I was challenged with that to some extent as well.

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Speaker 2: And then thirdly, when you are surrounded by superstars and

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Speaker 2: thriving people and people you love on top of it,

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Speaker 2: it's very simple to feel that your light should be

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Speaker 2: used in service of their light instead of for yourself.

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Speaker 1: It's easy to.

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Speaker 2: Fall into that too. So what I found for many

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Speaker 2: years is that I was struggling with this already bright

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Speaker 2: sky scenario. And it was when I was late twenties.

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Speaker 2: I was at my lowest. My light was dimmed, close

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Speaker 2: to going out. I was tired, I was discouraged. I

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Speaker 2: wasn't showing up as my brightest self. I wasn't showing

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Speaker 2: up as my best self, not in any area of

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Speaker 2: my life, not my work, not in my art, not

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Speaker 2: even in my marriage. We were struggling to conceive, we

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Speaker 2: were dealing with infertility for five and six years, I

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Speaker 2: felt like everything was stagnant and everything was dark. And

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Speaker 2: that's when I started to realize that I had to

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Speaker 2: illuminate myself. I had to reach inside and harness my

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Speaker 2: personal power, that power to shine and that power to

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Speaker 2: light up a room, and that power to know that

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Speaker 2: I have a specific and an important and unique light.

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Speaker 2: And I started crawling myself back from that time, reading

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Speaker 2: everything I can read about power, about personal power and

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Speaker 2: looking at all the everyday ways that we abandon it

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Speaker 2: and give it away without even noticing we've given of

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Speaker 2: the way, and all the everyday ways that we can

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Speaker 2: reclaim it. And that's where I am.

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Speaker 3: Now. Wow, I just need to take a moment and

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Speaker 3: soak that in because yeah, like oooh, that is such

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Speaker 3: a powerful story. And I know, like I have like

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Speaker 3: like a ton of questions that are coming up from

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Speaker 3: each different part that that you shared, and but I

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Speaker 3: want to focus on that personal power right and you

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Speaker 3: started you you defined personal power and what that means

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Speaker 3: to you. But for someone who's listening and they're in

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Speaker 3: that dark place right where you were in your in

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Speaker 3: your late twenties, what exactly can how can they tap

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Speaker 3: into their personal power to come out of that dark place, like,

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Speaker 3: what does that look like?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the first thing that I think has to happen

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Speaker 2: is that you have to realize how you have to

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Speaker 2: be responsible for your own life. Is what I was

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Speaker 2: going to say, your own predicament, your own situation doesn't

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Speaker 2: mean you're at fault. Fault and responsibility are two different things.

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Speaker 2: Fault is who did it. Responsibility is who can get

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Speaker 2: you out of it, whatever predicament you find yourself in.

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Speaker 4: So that's the first thing.

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Speaker 2: When I was in that dark place, I did not

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Speaker 2: know at first that I had the ability to pull

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Speaker 2: myself out of it.

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Speaker 4: I was blaming everyone else.

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Speaker 2: I was blaming everyone in my life, my agent, the

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Speaker 2: casting agency, you know, nobody was giving me a job,

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Speaker 2: and my husband was doing this and you know, blaming

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Speaker 2: it everybody. But the first thing is you have to

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Speaker 2: realize that the buck stops with you. I wrote a

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Speaker 2: song called Nobody's Business, and chorus goes, ain't nobody's job

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Speaker 2: to make you happy, nobody's job to pull you through.

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Speaker 2: Ain't nobody going to give you sunshine that light's inside

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Speaker 2: of you. Ain't nobody going to seek your freedom? Your

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Speaker 2: heart will lead you through. You're the one to choose

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Speaker 2: how you're feeling. Ain't nobody's business. If you do, it

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Speaker 2: is really our job and our ability, our ability to

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Speaker 2: pull ourselves out.

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Speaker 1: So that's number one.

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Speaker 2: Once you admit that to yourself and accept that, really

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Speaker 2: accept the responsibility for your life, then there's a myriad

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Speaker 2: of practices.

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Speaker 4: Then you get better at self care.

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Speaker 2: Then you can get better at boundaries, right, Then you

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Speaker 2: get better at communicating your needs. Then you can better

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Speaker 2: at really investigating your own feelings and thoughts and untangling them.

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Speaker 2: Then you can do all the work, but you have

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Speaker 2: to first know that it's not bad luck that you're

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Speaker 2: in the position you're in. The world is not against you.

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Speaker 2: Matter of fact, the world is for you. The universe

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Speaker 2: has got your back. Once you can do that, then

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Speaker 2: all the practices open up, all the practices open them.

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Speaker 1: That is just amazing. I got emotional you were singing.

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Speaker 1: The lyrics of your song are so powerful, and I

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Speaker 1: just appreciate all the gems of wisdom that you've already

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Speaker 1: dropped around. I love how you made the distinction between

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Speaker 1: faults and responsibility. Who you can put a whole sermon

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Speaker 1: on that, because I think it's so important for us

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Speaker 1: to realize that even though we didn't cause this situation,

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Speaker 1: like we are, we can be the hero of our

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Speaker 1: own stories.

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Speaker 4: And so I love to touched on that we have

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Speaker 4: to be We are the only ones who can be

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Speaker 4: the year of our own story.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just so powerful. And thinking about self boundary,

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Speaker 1: you talked about communicating your needs. One thing that really

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Speaker 1: stood out to me. And I know we're going to

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Speaker 1: touch on other topics here, but I think about pressure, right,

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Speaker 1: I think about expectations from family, from friends, and I

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Speaker 1: think that many of us have faced that in our lives.

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Speaker 1: But you definitely seem to be the expert on this

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Speaker 1: because of just how bright the stars were and your

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Speaker 1: sky and thinking about how you navigated that. Can you

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Speaker 1: talk a bit about the comparison game and any insight

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Speaker 1: or wisdom that you can share with us around comparing

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Speaker 1: ourselves because our efforts and success it's all subjective, right,

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Speaker 1: But when you have folks that are thriving, that are superstars,

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Speaker 1: like around the globe, they're well known. You're trying to

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Speaker 1: find your space in the world. How did you battle

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Speaker 1: or how did you face comparison in that journey?

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Speaker 2: That was a challenge for me because my mother specifically,

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Speaker 2: you know, is so loved, just so loved around the world,

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Speaker 2: and so many of her fans would love a second coming.

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Speaker 2: They would love Ronda Ross to be Dina Ross junior.

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Speaker 2: And it's something that I have tried to both fight

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Speaker 2: against but also found myself falling into. Sometimes there's really

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Speaker 2: a mix, you know, but mostly in terms of the

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Speaker 2: comparison game. I realized there is only one Dinor Ross,

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Speaker 2: and anyone trying to copy that woman is going to

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Speaker 2: get their feelings hurt. So I knew that I can't

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Speaker 2: be Dina Ross. But I also it took me some time,

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Speaker 2: but I also discovered there's only one render Ross, and

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Speaker 2: I can be her really well.

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Speaker 1: I get that woman.

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Speaker 2: I know how to do that, and so the goal

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Speaker 2: for me was recognizing the value in that and not

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Speaker 2: feeling like I had to be a certain way to

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Speaker 2: be loved or be accepted. So I really, I really

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Speaker 2: had to find my truth. I think everyone has to

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Speaker 2: do that. I don't think you need to have Diana

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Speaker 2: Ross and Barry Gordy as your parents to recognize the

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Speaker 2: challenge the value in find in finding your own north

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Speaker 2: Star and finding out who you are and what makes

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Speaker 2: you tick and what makes you want to wake up

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Speaker 2: in the morning, and and and finding your lane. That

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Speaker 2: was really a thing for me, finding my own look

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Speaker 2: on the stage, you know, as a singer, I really

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Speaker 2: felt for a long time people wanted to see me

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Speaker 2: a certain way. And in my case, I love my mother,

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Speaker 2: I love what she has created in her life.

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Speaker 4: I love my father. I think Motown is an incredible achievement.

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Speaker 4: I mean all of that.

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Speaker 2: So I didn't want to push against the way that

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Speaker 2: a lot of children of might want.

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Speaker 1: To fight back.

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Speaker 4: I you know, I'm not that Well, that was not

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Speaker 4: my thing either.

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Speaker 2: Right, I'm I'm thrilled and honored and blessed to be

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Speaker 2: from that from this bright sky. The only question is

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Speaker 2: how do I still shine? So yeah, So that was

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Speaker 2: definitely a challenge for me to find that, and still

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Speaker 2: is a challenge. I'm always kind of looking forward. You know,

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Speaker 2: I'm a grown woman with a career and all kinds

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Speaker 2: of stuff, and I still get calls, you know, either

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Speaker 2: for my mother, you know, oh hey, you know, can

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Speaker 2: you ask your mother to do such and such? No,

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Speaker 2: you can call her manager or asking me to do

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Speaker 2: things that are clearly based in just the fact that

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Speaker 2: I'm her daughter. I mean, it's still it's a constant

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Speaker 2: it's a constant work, you know, it's a constant work.

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Speaker 2: And again not and not to fall into it, you know,

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Speaker 2: not to you know, just to constantly remind myself of

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Speaker 2: my own value and and what I have to say

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Speaker 2: and what my message is.

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Speaker 3: Well of your message, your latest venture is amazing. A lady,

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Speaker 3: if you are listening and you have not subscribed, I

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Speaker 3: need you to go on ahead right now and subscribe

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Speaker 3: to the Force within. Oh so, Rond, but can you

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Speaker 3: tell us more for those ladies who haven't subscribed yet?

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Speaker 3: What is the force within? So?

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Speaker 2: The Force Within is a column a series of articles

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Speaker 2: that I've been writing, and they're findable on my website.

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Speaker 2: My website is Theerhonduross dot com t h E r

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Speaker 2: h O n d A r O s s dot com.

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Speaker 2: And it's a series of articles about personal power, how

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Speaker 2: to harness it, what is it, how to recognize it,

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Speaker 2: how to trust it? And I use my personal life

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Speaker 2: and my personal stories as launch pads for the lessons

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Speaker 2: that I've learned. And I'm thrilled about writing this article

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Speaker 2: of these articles because this is.

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Speaker 1: What I love.

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Speaker 4: This is what I talk about with my friends and

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Speaker 4: my family, and this is what I do.

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Speaker 2: And you can't have a conversation with me without me

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Speaker 2: trying to help you recognize your power. So I'm thrilled

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Speaker 2: to be able to be putting pen to paper and

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Speaker 2: doing that. You know, I'm also writing a book right now,

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Speaker 2: So then the book is about all of this that

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Speaker 2: we're talking about, you know, finding your power in an

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Speaker 2: already bright sky, and so that's what I love.

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Speaker 1: We need this more than ever right now. So this

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Speaker 1: is so timely. We're so grateful for the work that

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Speaker 1: you're doing. And if you could tell us a bit

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Speaker 1: about one of the topics that's been most challenging for you,

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Speaker 1: if you've been like diving in and writing about it,

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Speaker 1: what topic would that be?

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Speaker 4: Oh, there's a lot of them.

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Speaker 2: Which no, really, this has been I mean these two years,

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Speaker 2: and if I were to be frank, I even feel

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Speaker 2: like the second year was harder for me than the first.

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Speaker 4: Somehow, this past year was challenging.

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Speaker 2: So what I think the thing I've been writing the

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Speaker 2: most about that I would say has been my biggest thing.

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Speaker 2: The reason why twenty twenty one was so challenging for

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Speaker 2: me is because I dealt with anxiety for the first time.

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Speaker 2: I don't remember dealing with anxiety in my life before.

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Speaker 2: And there was just something about what went down, you know,

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Speaker 2: between all the mandates and all the stuff, all the

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Speaker 2: competing news stories, and I'm not even a big news watcher,

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Speaker 2: but it just made me feel It made me feel powerless,

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Speaker 2: and I felt like I really had to do my

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Speaker 2: work daily, daily, daily, to get myself back in my power,

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Speaker 2: to calm myself, to untangle my fears, to soothe myself,

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Speaker 2: all the self care things that we know, journaling and

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Speaker 2: meditating and walking and eating well and sleeping.

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Speaker 4: I'm really not a television watcher, and I'm especially not

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Speaker 4: a news watcher. I get my news. I try to

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Speaker 4: get I try to get the actual news and then

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Speaker 4: leave all the talking heads somewhere else.

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Speaker 1: Like I don't exactly I don't deal with that.

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Speaker 2: But something about two thousand and one, even more so

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Speaker 2: than twenty twenty. Strangely enough, twenty twenty was scary. Of course,

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Speaker 2: we didn't know anything about the virus, and we had

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Speaker 2: these lockdowns and all of that.

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Speaker 4: That was scary.

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Speaker 2: But for some reason, my anxiety really spiked in twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty one and that was my first time. So I

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Speaker 2: really I've been writing a lot about that. If you

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Speaker 2: go through the articles, you'll see there's a whole bunch

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Speaker 2: about anxiety and fear and getting your head around that,

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Speaker 2: and getting your heart around that, and protecting your heart

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Speaker 2: and head and protecting your mental health. You know, I

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Speaker 2: really feel that. I think many of us were more

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Speaker 2: damaged than we realize of all ages. And I still

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Speaker 2: think we have a lot of healing to do around

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Speaker 2: what we went through and to some extent what we're

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Speaker 2: still going through, both with COVID and now with Ukraine,

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Speaker 2: And it's just a lot coming at us at all times.

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Speaker 2: You want to be of help, you want to be

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Speaker 2: of service, you want to be protected, you want to

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Speaker 2: make sure you got what you need if things go down.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's a lot of stuff. So I write

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Speaker 2: about that a lot. It's been a lot about anxiety.

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Speaker 3: It's so timely, and like you said, there's so many

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Speaker 3: people that are definitely able to relate to that because

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Speaker 3: in my practice, I know I've heard so many people

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Speaker 3: develop that anxiety or recognize that they're having a different

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Speaker 3: they're experiencing anxiety in a different way. Because of the

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Speaker 3: world that we're living in now, and so I am

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Speaker 3: so appreciative of your work and what you're doing. And

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Speaker 3: so what is one topic that you are excited about?

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Speaker 3: So we talk about the challenges, but it's equally important

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Speaker 3: to focus on the joy. So what is one thing

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Speaker 3: that you are excited about writing?

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Speaker 2: See the smile on my face. That smile is for

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Speaker 2: my son. I have a twelve year old boy who

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Speaker 2: he's just my best friend. This is it's getting ridiculous,

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Speaker 2: Like we're just you know, I heard somebody say once,

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Speaker 2: I heard the mother say once, I love my daughter,

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Speaker 2: but I'm in love with my son, and I can

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Speaker 2: relate to that.

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Speaker 4: I love that boy. Like it is ridiculous. So we

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Speaker 4: are like bus and buddies.

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Speaker 2: We just anyway, what's been wonderful about this time is

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Speaker 2: he and I have gotten more time together and he's

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Speaker 2: you know, he's twelve, so he's always had a big,

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Speaker 2: bright personality, but it just feels like he's kind of

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Speaker 2: really finding his own swagger, in his own rhythm in

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Speaker 2: a way that that's new and fun. And just today

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Speaker 2: we went on a forty five minute bike ride together

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Speaker 2: and I just bought him a bike the other day.

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Speaker 2: I mean, he had no let me rephrase, he has

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Speaker 2: a bike. I didn't have a bike. So I bought

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Speaker 2: him another bike. And now I'm using his first bike.

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Speaker 2: But I just got it for him the other day,

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Speaker 2: and so we are. We went on this ride today

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Speaker 2: forty five minutes, and as we were riding, I said,

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Speaker 2: there's so much that I miss about when he was younger,

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Speaker 2: and you know, we were.

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Speaker 4: Cuddling and he had this little body.

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Speaker 2: Now he's taller than me, so he just like, there's

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Speaker 2: so many things that I miss about his four year

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Speaker 2: old self and his seven year old self.

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Speaker 4: Here we are riding our bikes.

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Speaker 2: He's twelve, and we just get to be friends, you know,

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Speaker 2: and get to to be together and hang out. And

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Speaker 2: I don't know, we're real similar in our in our

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Speaker 2: likes and dislikes and our humor and all of that stuff.

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Speaker 2: So anyway, I write about him sometimes, not that often,

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Speaker 2: but that is definitely a space that I love writing

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Speaker 2: about and I love thinking about.

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Speaker 1: That is so precious. We can totally feel the energy

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Speaker 1: as you talked about your son, And you must be

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Speaker 1: a pretty cool mom to have a preteen that's still

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Speaker 1: into you like this, Like that who you mom? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's so good.

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Speaker 4: I'm holding on for us gold on, man, I'm not

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Speaker 4: very impressive.

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Speaker 2: I'm pulling off as long as I can. We really

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Speaker 2: we do get along, really really well. I'm hoping and

439
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 2: believing that we will continue to. I mean, I get

440
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 2: it that he needs his space, you know, I get boundaries,

441
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 2: and I get that he needs to be independent and

442
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 2: do his thing and individuate from me and all that

443
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 2: good stuff.

444
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 1: I get it.

445
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 2: I don't like it, but I get it, and so

446
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,520
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do my best to be healthy around that

447
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 2: and allow that to happen. But I'm hoping and believing

448
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 2: that we will always get along. I'm really hoping and believing.

449
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:13,200
Speaker 1: That that's so precious.

450
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:13,639
Speaker 3: I love it.

451
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 1: I love it OVERHANDA Before we shift up the energy

452
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 1: of this conversation, we have one last question, one last

453
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 1: formal question for you, and that question is what's one

454
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 1: question or topic that you wish people asked you about

455
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:25,399
Speaker 1: more often?

456
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:29,640
Speaker 2: I think I wish people asked me about my parenting

457
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 2: more often. I take my parenting very seriously. Like I said,

458
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 2: we tried for.

459
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 4: I'm gonna do the math. I don't know.

460
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 1: Hold on.

461
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,440
Speaker 2: Fourteen years. I don't know, something really long. Yeah, and

462
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,159
Speaker 2: I was young. I was in my twenties, and the

463
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 2: doctors couldn't figure out what was the matter. And so

464
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 2: here I was in my twenties, newly married and not

465
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 2: getting pregnant, not getting pregnant for many years, let's say, okay,

466
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 2: for about ten years I wasn't getting pregnant. Then after

467
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 2: that I did get pregnant, had three miscarriages, and so

468
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,680
Speaker 2: there was another few years added on there, and then

469
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 2: we finally had this boy.

470
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:11,119
Speaker 3: So I just.

471
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 2: Like, he is my everything right, and I parent very

472
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 2: very consciously. I don't think there's any choice I've made

473
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:25,679
Speaker 2: for him that I just made, you know, or just said, oh,

474
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:27,680
Speaker 2: well that's the way I was raised, so I'm doing

475
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 2: it that way, or you know, I didn't think about it.

476
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,680
Speaker 2: There's not one choice I made, and my husband made

477
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 2: every choice very deliberately. And he speaks four languages. He's fluent, yes,

478
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 2: he's fluent in my.

479
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 4: Knees.

480
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 2: And we have been homeschooling him now since first grade,

481
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 2: so that's about seven. We're in finishing our seventh year

482
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 2: of homeschooling.

483
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 4: He was a very early reader.

484
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 2: He was reading words before he could crawl like crazy,

485
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 2: like crazy stuff, and so I wish you ask me

486
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 2: more about that.

487
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 4: I love to talk about that.

488
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 3: I mean, since we're here, let's take a minute, and

489
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 3: if you could share with us, what are your maybe

490
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 3: top three conscious parenting tips.

491
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, those are great. That's a great question.

492
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 2: Number One is this too shall pass? And that is

493
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 2: both for the things that you don't like and also

494
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 2: for the things that you do, like time moves and

495
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 2: you don't get a second shot, and when it's gone,

496
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 2: it's gone. So that's why I say, as much as

497
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 2: I love his twelve year old self and I do,

498
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 2: I miss his six year old self and his three

499
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 2: year old self and all of that. And I am

500
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 2: happy to say I believe I was present when I

501
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 2: was going through those selves of who he is. So

502
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 2: I would say, this too shall pass. So be present,

503
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 2: be as present as you can. It's really easy to think, oh,

504
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 2: I have an emails to write, oh I have whatever,

505
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 2: and you pull your focus and these moments pass. So

506
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 2: I would say number one, be present. Number two, accept

507
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 2: who your child is. Listen to them, watch them, allow

508
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 2: them to be themselves. That's not easy, and I don't

509
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 2: know that I was always good at that.

510
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 4: It's hard.

511
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 2: You know, you feel like your child is a reflection

512
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 2: of you, and if they're not doing what you think

513
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 2: they need to be doing at four years old or

514
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 2: eight years old or twelve years old, you kind of

515
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 2: want to get them in line. But the truth is

516
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 2: I think I think a child knowing that they are

517
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 2: accepted for the light that they shine is an invaluable gift.

518
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 2: And thirdly, I would say, put no limits on the

519
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 2: potential of your child.

520
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 4: You have no idea who they're going to be or

521
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 4: how great they can be.

522
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 2: And when he was younger and we were teaching him

523
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 2: all these languages and he was learning to read so early,

524
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 2: it was freaking people out. I kept saying, People kept

525
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 2: saying to me, oh, he's a prodigy, Oh he's a prodigy.

526
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 2: And I kept saying, I think every child is this.

527
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 2: I think every child is this, And I think we

528
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 2: we cap it. We don't expect it, we don't look

529
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 2: for it, and we don't welcome it because it really

530
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 2: wasn't It's not even something you have to do about

531
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,720
Speaker 2: it except for allow it to be. Children are geniuses?

532
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 2: Are they are geniuses? They come here not in my

533
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:36,479
Speaker 2: opinion as blank slates, but as as lights.

534
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 4: And it's our job to get out the way, get

535
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 4: out the way I think out the way.

536
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: That is amazing. We have to do it. We may

537
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 1: have to have a whole other parenting segment. And because

538
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 1: that is so that is so helpful, and I think

539
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 1: a lot of parents could use that now, especially with

540
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 1: the pandemic and how things have been going where there

541
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 1: are now more they're home more with the children, so

542
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, you were at daycare at school before.

543
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 2: So yeah, And in terms of the pandemic, it's been

544
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 2: hard on us as adults, but it's been hard on them, yes,

545
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 2: And we need to be gentle. Just be gentle and

546
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 2: be listening and be a safe space. They don't even

547
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 2: have the language. We don't have the language for what

548
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 2: we've been through, you know. And every child, you know,

549
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 2: some are you know, toddlers when this happened, and it

550
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 2: had one effect on them, and the elementary schoolers, it

551
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 2: had one effect on them, and the middle schoolers, the

552
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,080
Speaker 2: high schoolers. Kids who play sports and couldn't play sports

553
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:42,959
Speaker 2: or we're moving, missed their senior years or missed their

554
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 2: freshman years, or at college or just like all, everyone

555
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 2: had a different experience and we just need to be

556
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 2: gentle around this. Yeah, at this time and for some

557
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 2: time to come, I think we need to really be gentle.

558
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 1: That is so spot on, so spot on, Rondas You've

559
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 1: provided so many gems, so much insight, and at this

560
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 1: point in our conversation, we want to shift up the energy.

561
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 1: I will warn you this is a grown folk podcast,

562
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 1: So get ready, get ready, get ready for what's about

563
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 1: to have. Okay, So, Ronda, because.

564
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 4: I have a song called grown Folk Party, I do sure.

565
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 1: It was a full, full circle moment right now. So

566
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 1: because we recognize, appreciate, and celebrate the multifaceted woman, and

567
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 1: we believe that it's okay to be bougie, classy and ratchet,

568
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 1: you can still be elegant and dance to strip club

569
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 1: music if you so choose. Okay, Ronda, we want to

570
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 1: invite you to the oh you blatchet segment? So do

571
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 1: you take on the challenge?

572
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 4: I take it, but I'm scared.

573
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 1: We got it, We got it, we got her.

574
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 3: You are going to enjoy this. You like a grown

575
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 3: folks party. You are going to enjoy this.

576
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 1: So now that you've agreed, we'll tell you what to expect.

577
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 1: So we have three questions for you. We have three

578
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 1: sentence completions, and then at the end, we want you

579
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 1: to choose a number between one and three. We have

580
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 1: some photos pulled up from your Instagram, and we want

581
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 1: you to tell us more context about the photo that

582
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 1: you choose, something that we wouldn't know by looking at

583
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 1: the photo. Okay, So I'm going to pass on over

584
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:14,800
Speaker 1: to doctor dom and we'll dive on in.

585
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:21,320
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, So the first question, what's the best piece

586
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 3: of wisdom or advice you've ever received.

587
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 2: I've received some really great wisdom, soul. It's hard, but

588
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 2: I feel like I want to choose. My mother would

589
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 2: always tell us do what you love, follow your bliss,

590
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 2: follow what lights you up, and the.

591
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 4: Money and the career and all those things will follow.

592
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 4: And that's what she did.

593
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 2: She wanted to be a mother. She's a mother of five,

594
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,799
Speaker 2: and that was always her priority. She never ever made

595
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 2: us feel like we were in the way of her career,

596
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,839
Speaker 2: or somehow her career came first, or her career.

597
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 4: Needed to be focused on, or none of that.

598
00:34:59,239 --> 00:34:59,600
Speaker 3: None of that.

599
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 4: We were always her priority.

600
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:06,280
Speaker 2: And and even you know when she in the nineteen

601
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 2: seventy when she was leaving the Supremes and and starting

602
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 2: off on her own and found herself pregnant with me.

603
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 2: I was her priority, and being a mother was her priority.

604
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 2: And look at the career that came, you know, look

605
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 2: at what look at all that that came. So I

606
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 2: think that that's the piece of advice. That's what I

607
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 2: live by. I don't do anything just for money. I

608
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 2: don't do anything just for career or or likes or

609
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 2: or some kind of uplift of of you know, any

610
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 2: of that. I everything is about where my heart is.

611
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:42,840
Speaker 4: Where my heart is.

612
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:46,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, so powerful such wise we're supposed them to live by.

613
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 1: Now I'm going to switch it up a little bit, so, Ronda,

614
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 1: I have four words for you. Okay, to work or

615
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 1: two step? Which one are you going to do?

616
00:35:58,400 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 3: Well?

617
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:04,800
Speaker 2: That depends, sis, Okay, okay, it depends. I mean I

618
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 2: could you know, I enjoy a good two step. But

619
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 2: you know I might work a little I might come on, Yeah,

620
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 2: she might work something.

621
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:24,879
Speaker 3: Something something, Okay, So you're ready to twirk a little something? Yes,

622
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:30,839
Speaker 3: what is the sexiest item you own? I don't own

623
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 3: sexy items.

624
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:35,360
Speaker 4: I've been married too long. I don't own sexy items.

625
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 4: What is the sexiest item my own? My naked body?

626
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 1: There you go, there you go.

627
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 2: I don't know.

628
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 4: I don't I don't have any of.

629
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,719
Speaker 1: That other stuff. I love that we've never gotten that

630
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:56,240
Speaker 1: answer because you answer, I support that. Okay, my naked body.

631
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 1: That's right.

632
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 2: That's right.

633
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 1: So now we're gonna move on to the three sentence completions.

634
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:04,800
Speaker 1: So the first sentence completion is something that many people

635
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:05,840
Speaker 1: don't know about me?

636
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 2: Is something that many people don't know about me is

637
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 2: I'm a big Billy Crystal fan. I say that because

638
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:19,280
Speaker 2: every time I talk about his movies, my sister Tracy

639
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 2: says to me, it is really.

640
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 4: Bizarre that you like Billy Crystal so much. I bet

641
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 4: you nobody knows that about you.

642
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,800
Speaker 1: So there you go, a big Billy christ There we go,

643
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:33,279
Speaker 1: Thank you. Okay, there we go. All right.

644
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,600
Speaker 2: I don't know that it's important or interesting in any way,

645
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 2: but it is definitely something people don't know about me.

646
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 3: There we go, and that's what matters. It's something. Now

647
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:47,840
Speaker 3: we're learning something new, that's right. So what is the

648
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:52,439
Speaker 3: most embarrassing thing ay you have ever done?

649
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:58,400
Speaker 2: I so quickly reframe everything that's part of my personal

650
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 2: power practice that whenever something happens to me, I sort

651
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 2: of make it into something that's beneficial. But the thing

652
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:09,320
Speaker 2: that the story that's coming up for me is I

653
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 2: was doing a performance in New York. I had three

654
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 2: backup singers. One of them was brand new, she'd never

655
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:19,239
Speaker 2: worked with me before, and we were at our sound

656
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 2: check and I was checking my mic, but I kept

657
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 2: pulling the mic away from my mouth as I was

658
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 2: singing the as I was singing, and she came up

659
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:31,800
Speaker 2: to me. I'll never forget this because again I didn't

660
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 2: know her, and she didn't know how I was going

661
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 2: to react.

662
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 1: But she came up to me.

663
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 4: She said, why are you pulling the mic away from

664
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:41,439
Speaker 4: your mouth? And I said, I'm pulling the mic away

665
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 4: from my mouth if you want the honest.

666
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:47,320
Speaker 2: Truth, because I'm not sure I'm hearing really well and

667
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:49,840
Speaker 2: I'm afraid I'm going to hit some bad notes. And

668
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:54,280
Speaker 2: she said, well, we and the audience and everyone has come.

669
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 4: Here to hear you.

670
00:38:56,200 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 2: You give us you sing into the mic, And something

671
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:07,000
Speaker 2: about her words in that moment really resonated, and I said,

672
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:08,360
Speaker 2: you know, I hide.

673
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 4: I hide.

674
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:13,320
Speaker 2: I want to be on the stage. Clearly I'm on

675
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:17,239
Speaker 2: the stage, but I'm not really giving everyone. I'm not

676
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:20,800
Speaker 2: really showing up as my brightest self, right. So I

677
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 2: decided to do it, to just kind of bite the

678
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 2: bullet and do it. So for the rest of the

679
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:28,840
Speaker 2: sound check I did, but also for the concert, for

680
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,759
Speaker 2: the actual show, I put that mic right up to

681
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 2: my mouth and I sang with my everything, and I

682
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 2: hit some really bad notes, like really bad. But two

683
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 2: things happened. One I noticed that I hit them, but

684
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:52,359
Speaker 2: because I hit them in the mic, I could hear them,

685
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 2: and when I could hear them, I.

686
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 4: Could fix them.

687
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,120
Speaker 2: And so I was going to say two things happened.

688
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,279
Speaker 2: The first thing was I was very embarrassed. That was

689
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 2: an embarrassing moment for me. Here I am at a

690
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 2: sold out club in New York, and these people have

691
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 2: paid to come see me sing, and here I am

692
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:12,359
Speaker 2: singing and not not being happy with what's coming out,

693
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 2: and not just you know, because I'm a jazz vocalist,

694
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 2: so everything is improved, and so it's not just like

695
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 2: there's one melody that I needed to sing.

696
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 4: You know, I'm out, I'm I'm I'm improving and not.

697
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:23,959
Speaker 1: Well in that case.

698
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:27,880
Speaker 2: But what happened was I could fix it immediately. So

699
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 2: I learned in that moment we run, we run from

700
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,799
Speaker 2: looking at ourselves, or in that case, we run from

701
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 2: listening to ourselves. But if you stop, you turn to

702
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 2: face that thing you're afraid of and sing into the

703
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 2: mic and let it be loud for everyone to hear.

704
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,400
Speaker 2: You get to hear it too, and you can fix it.

705
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,320
Speaker 2: That's the only time you can fix it. If she

706
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,800
Speaker 2: hadn't given me that advice, and if I hadn't taken

707
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:59,919
Speaker 2: her advice, I would still be pulling that mic away

708
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:01,760
Speaker 2: and still be hitting those bad notes.

709
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:02,359
Speaker 1: Right.

710
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 2: So that's that's my long winded answer to it was embarrassing.

711
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 2: It was embarrassing, but it fortified me and it gave

712
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:10,960
Speaker 2: me power.

713
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 4: It empowered me.

714
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 1: What an incredible story. You are an amazing storyteller. I

715
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,360
Speaker 1: could visualize that entire story as you told in and

716
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 1: it makes me think about that's just a powerful life lesson.

717
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:23,239
Speaker 1: If it isn't examined, it can't be improved. You have

718
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 1: to be able to itself reflection.

719
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, you have to, and we're scared.

720
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 2: We don't want to look at it. We don't want

721
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:35,400
Speaker 2: exactly we think that what we see will say something.

722
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 4: About who we are, about our value or our lack

723
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:42,040
Speaker 4: of value, and we're scared. But the truth is, you

724
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 4: look at it. First of all, it's rarely as bad

725
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 4: as you think.

726
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 2: And second of all, whatever parts are not up to

727
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 2: your standard, you now have the ability to fix them

728
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:54,400
Speaker 2: and improve upon them.

729
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 1: So many mic drop moments. Okay, so our last sentence

730
00:41:57,239 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 1: completion here around it is What I love most about

731
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 1: myself is.

732
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 2: What I love most about myself is my ability to

733
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 2: pick myself up when I'm down, my ability to soothe myself,

734
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:22,839
Speaker 2: to calm myself, to recognize my fears and face them.

735
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,720
Speaker 2: What I love most about myself is my personal power,

736
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 2: my force within.

737
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,879
Speaker 1: Yeah. All right, So now we are at the point

738
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 1: where we want you to choose a number between one

739
00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:37,720
Speaker 1: and three, and we're going to share that particular photo

740
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 1: on screen for you. You can describe for folks what

741
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:42,359
Speaker 1: the photo is for the folks that are only tuning

742
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:44,920
Speaker 1: into audio, and then give us some secrets or some

743
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:47,279
Speaker 1: context about the photo that we wouldn't know. So, what

744
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:49,359
Speaker 1: is your number between one and three?

745
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 4: I'm going to go with three.

746
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,400
Speaker 1: Three amazing. Okay, we have this picture pulled up. So

747
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 1: if you can describe the photo for folks that are

748
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,840
Speaker 1: not listening, and then let us know, here we go,

749
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 1: what's something we wouldn't know about this picture? This is

750
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:04,720
Speaker 1: number three. That's so great.

751
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 2: Okay, So that picture is from the Atlanta Jazz Festival.

752
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:13,400
Speaker 2: I have a story around that. I was there with

753
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:14,160
Speaker 2: my family.

754
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 4: So my husband's on this was on this gig.

755
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:18,719
Speaker 2: My husband's an incredible jazz pianist by the name of

756
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 2: Rodney Kendrick, and he was playing piano, and.

757
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,719
Speaker 4: We had a band, and my son was there.

758
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,759
Speaker 2: And I have cousins in Atlanta, so they were in

759
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 2: the audience, but they had also been There was no

760
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 2: backstage because this is Atlanta Jazz Festival. It's outdoors, and

761
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 2: they had trailers for us to change in. So I

762
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 2: had my family there and I had no help. I

763
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 2: had no assistant or no makeup, hair, wardrobe, nobody, and

764
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:53,360
Speaker 2: I couldn't get my corset on. This corset it zips

765
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 2: in the front, but it ties in the back, and

766
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 2: I couldn't. I couldn't get it on, and I thought,

767
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:02,359
Speaker 2: oh my god, I didn't think through my wardrobe at all,

768
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 2: and I'm here in this trailer by myself and my.

769
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:06,839
Speaker 4: Cousin in law.

770
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 2: My cousin's wife named Gina, came into the trailer and

771
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 2: she was tying me up backstage and just in time,

772
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 2: literally just in time for me to get out onto

773
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:20,439
Speaker 2: that stage and do my things.

774
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:23,400
Speaker 4: So that's the story behind that outfit. And that is

775
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 4: the Atlanta Jazz Festival.

776
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:27,960
Speaker 1: Amazing. That is a bomb outfit. I saw the entire

777
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 1: video and you look so fly. Thank you well, Ronda.

778
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:43,760
Speaker 3: This has been an amazing, amazing conversation. You at moments

779
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 3: made us laugh, brought tears to our eyes and a

780
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:53,279
Speaker 3: couple of other moments and truly empowered us. And so

781
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:57,799
Speaker 3: for our ladies who are listening, and we want them

782
00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:01,439
Speaker 3: to subscribe, we want them to file follow you. Where

783
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 3: can they follow you?

784
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:03,759
Speaker 4: Thank you, thank you.

785
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:09,320
Speaker 2: I am the Ronda Ross everywhere, so on all social

786
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 2: media though render Ross. That's Instagram and Facebook and Twitter.

787
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 2: And my website is Thoughorondurross dot com. And I invite

788
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 2: everyone to come to my website and join my database

789
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 2: my newsletter because not only do I talk about the

790
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:30,719
Speaker 2: force within the articles, but I also send a newsletter

791
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 2: out that just talks about all of these things, all

792
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 2: of these practices, but also some fun anecdotes with me

793
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 2: and my family, my son, all kinds of things, and

794
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 2: so I highly recommend people to come and join my

795
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 2: mailing list, join the tribe, join the family.

796
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:51,720
Speaker 1: Awesome. Thank you so much, Fonda. This was an absolute pleasure.

797
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,239
Speaker 1: We appreciate you and thank you.

798
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 3: This was wonderful.

799
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 4: Thank you both for having me really appreciate it.

800
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:01,359
Speaker 1: Hey, all right, ladies, that's it. Thank you so much

801
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,279
Speaker 1: Melinda for helping us organize everything. Melinda's hanging out there

802
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 1: on the side, Randa. We will reach out to Melinda

803
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 1: and let her know about when the episode will air

804
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 1: so that you all can share if you so choose,

805
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:12,799
Speaker 1: and we send you we do choose.

806
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 3: We yay.

807
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:16,200
Speaker 1: We love that you choose.

808
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:17,320
Speaker 4: Choose.

809
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 1: It's in social media, graphics and all that good stuff.

810
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 1: This was an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for

811
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:23,280
Speaker 1: sharing your light with us in the world.

812
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 4: I wanted to take a picture. Can we take a picture. Yes,

813
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:27,360
Speaker 4: let's do it.

814
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:33,840
Speaker 1: Let's do it. Okay, there we go. Yay, Thank you, Rhonda.

815
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 1: We'll talk to you also, I talk to you soon. Okay.

816
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:36,799
Speaker 3: Bye.

817
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 2: Byee.

818
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,880
Speaker 1: Hey lady, It's Terry here from the Cultivating Her space podcast.

819
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 1: I'm hosting a free podcasting masterclass where I'm going to

820
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:49,719
Speaker 1: teach you how to create your impactful podcast and how

821
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,799
Speaker 1: you can generate multiple streams of income. You can visit

822
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:56,719
Speaker 1: podcast with Terry dot com to register for free. I

823
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 1: hope to see you there.

824
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:04,000
Speaker 3: Thanks joining us today. Please note that our show may

825
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 3: contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment, and mental health,

826
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:13,879
Speaker 3: but is by no means meant to be a substitute

827
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:18,400
Speaker 3: for an ongoing formal relationship with a trained mental health provider.

828
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:21,920
Speaker 3: If you are someone you know is in need of

829
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 3: mental health care, please visit a Therapy for Black Girls

830
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:30,760
Speaker 3: directory Psychology today or contact your insurance provider.

831
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:33,160
Speaker 1: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

832
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 1: the conversation going, visit our website at cultivatinghirspace dot com

833
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:40,839
Speaker 1: and be sure to click the Patreon tab to get

834
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:45,919
Speaker 1: access to video content, bonuses, and our weekly after show.

835
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:51,399
Speaker 1: And before we meet again, repeat after me, what's meant

836
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:54,920
Speaker 1: for me? Will never miss me? I don't have to

837
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:55,320
Speaker 1: chase