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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen.

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Speaker 1: If you need advice on relationships, on dating, works, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARBFM

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Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: We could be reading your letter live on the air.

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Speaker 1: Just like we're going to read this one right here,

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Speaker 1: right now, and you never know, it could be yours.

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Speaker 3: You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We

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Speaker 3: got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, not for you.

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Speaker 1: Subject he has to step away to take calls. Dear

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I'm a thirty six year old married woman

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Speaker 1: and my husband is thirty three. We've been married for

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Speaker 1: almost eight years, and he has told me that he

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Speaker 1: regrets getting married so young. I asked him if he

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Speaker 1: needed a break from the marriage, and.

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Speaker 2: He said no.

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Speaker 1: He told me we could find ways to make our

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Speaker 1: marriage work. So we planned a trip back to our

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Speaker 1: hometown and it didn't work out as planned. We went

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Speaker 1: for Thanksgiving and there was a big game in town,

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Speaker 1: so we barely saw each other. I was busy with

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Speaker 1: my parents and he was out late every night. He

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Speaker 1: came into my parents home late and I noticed on

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Speaker 1: the third night that his cell phone was off while

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Speaker 1: he slept. I asked him about it the next morning,

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Speaker 1: and he said it must have died, but it wasn't

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Speaker 1: dead because I turned it on and back off that

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Speaker 1: same night. After we spent the time in our hometown,

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Speaker 1: his attitude changed. He started posting more pictures on Instagram,

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Speaker 1: and he was constantly on his phone scrolling through social

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Speaker 1: media posts. He also started to get phone calls late

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Speaker 1: in the evening, and he would ignore them. I would

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Speaker 1: check the phone when he wasn't around, and I could

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Speaker 1: see that he'd always delete the incoming call log. Then,

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Speaker 1: over the holidays, a few calls came in and he

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Speaker 1: had to step away to take them. It happened when

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Speaker 1: we had company or we were out, so I couldn't

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Speaker 1: question him or cause a scene. On New Year's Eve,

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Speaker 1: we decided to stay in and have champagne at home.

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Speaker 1: He was distant and he played with his phone all night.

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Speaker 1: At the stroke of midnight, his phone rang and he

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Speaker 1: stepped outside to take the call. He told me he

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Speaker 1: was going to see the firework. Should I have confronted

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Speaker 1: him at that moment and ruined the beginning of a

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Speaker 1: new Year? What's my husband up to?

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Speaker 3: All?

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Speaker 2: Right? Sis?

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Speaker 1: This is bad, This is really bad. He's really doing

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Speaker 1: too much with all of this. And yes, you should

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Speaker 1: have confronted him at that moment. Who says it would

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Speaker 1: have ruined the beginning of a new year. He's getting

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Speaker 1: phone calls all night, walking away from you to talk.

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Speaker 1: It's like he hasn't even told whoever it is, that

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Speaker 1: he's got a wife.

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Speaker 2: You asked Steve and I what is your husband up to?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 1: What do you think he's up to? I mean, what

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Speaker 1: do you think he's doing? I think he's disrespecting you

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Speaker 1: right in your face. I mean, you have to say

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Speaker 1: something right then and there when it's happening. He gets

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Speaker 1: called out where the stuff happens, you know, that's when

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Speaker 1: he gets called out where he's doing it.

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Speaker 2: That's it. Period.

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Speaker 1: I get that you don't want to cause a scene,

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Speaker 1: you don't want to let people in your business and

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Speaker 1: all that, But when he's already doing that, he is,

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Speaker 1: he's already doing that when he steps away to take

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Speaker 1: a call. What do you think they're thinking when he

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Speaker 1: does that? The only thing he's trying to hide is

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Speaker 1: who it is. He's definitely not trying to hide the

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Speaker 1: fact that there's someone else he's talking to.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't he get that this is wrong? Doesn't he understand that?

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Speaker 1: Is that what he meant when he said he could

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Speaker 1: find ways to make the marriage work, or you guys

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Speaker 1: can find ways to make the marriage work. It sounds

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Speaker 1: like he thinks you're stupid because you even asked him

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Speaker 1: before all of this, did he need a break from

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Speaker 1: the marriage whatever that means?

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Speaker 2: And he said no.

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Speaker 1: I just think you know, as you can see these

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Speaker 1: calls and your man or just out of control. You're

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Speaker 1: letting him do whatever he wants to do and you're

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Speaker 1: not saying anything. I mean, I think it's way past

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Speaker 1: time for you to let him have it. You need

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Speaker 1: to shut it down.

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Speaker 2: Start with this. You got a car, I'm sure you

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Speaker 2: have a car.

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Speaker 1: Well, accidentally on purpose run over his phone with your

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Speaker 1: car today, okay, And then when he asked.

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Speaker 2: You about it, what he does, Just get a phone call.

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Speaker 2: Just get him. You heard me, You heard me run

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Speaker 2: over his phone with the car, all right, walk away?

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Speaker 1: Do what he does when he gets a phone call

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Speaker 1: when he asks you, just walk away, Steve.

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Speaker 4: Let me just address this last comment that crazy made

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Speaker 4: in the New Year.

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Speaker 3: Just his phone.

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Speaker 2: You call, you're calling me crazy, kill me. Man is

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Speaker 2: run over.

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Speaker 3: Run over it with your car.

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Speaker 4: Yes, if you got to run over your man's phone

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Speaker 4: with a car, the problem ain't the phone. Now, let's

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Speaker 4: go to the letter. He has to step away to

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Speaker 4: take calls. Now, this thirty six year old woman. He's

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Speaker 4: married to a thirty three year old man and they've

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Speaker 4: been married about eight years. He made the announcement that

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Speaker 4: he regrets getting married so young.

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Speaker 3: Did the math.

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Speaker 4: He's gotten married at twenty five, that is young. He

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Speaker 4: has regretted it. He didn't get the full OAHs so

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Speaker 4: in season in he didn't get a lot of stuff

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Speaker 4: out of his system. He didn't get rid of the

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Speaker 4: things he needed to get rid of before he got married.

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Speaker 4: So when he got married, he did like a minister

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Speaker 4: taught me. He found out that the only thing changes

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Speaker 4: the day after you get married is the appearance of

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Speaker 4: your left.

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Speaker 3: Hand third finger.

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Speaker 4: I asked him if he needed a break from the marriage.

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Speaker 4: He said no, that's because most men don't want to

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Speaker 4: say let's take a break from the marriage, or don't

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Speaker 4: want to get a divorce or admit to defeat. We

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Speaker 4: just find ways around it he said. He told me

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Speaker 4: he could find ways to make our marriage work. That

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Speaker 4: is the key to this whole letter, because you should

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Speaker 4: have asked what all did he mean? You should have

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Speaker 4: had a thorough discussion about you gonna find ways to

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Speaker 4: make our marriage work. What you thought he said was

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Speaker 4: he was gonna work on the marriage. Oh, you interpret

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Speaker 4: it as he said he's gonna work on the marriage.

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Speaker 4: You didn't explore fine ways to make our marriage work,

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Speaker 4: even though I regret doing it.

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Speaker 3: So long I come back, I'll explain the rest of it.

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Speaker 1: Hold I thought Steve coming up. We'll have part two

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Speaker 1: of Steve's response too. He has to step away to

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Speaker 1: take phone calls. That is the subject of today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it at twenty three minutes after

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Speaker 1: the hour. Right after this, you're listening to Steve Hardy

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Speaker 1: Morning Show.

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Speaker 2: Everyone at your girls should Strawberry here.

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Speaker 1: asa E Bowl with Nutella.

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Speaker 2: All right, Steve, come.

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Speaker 1: On, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is he

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Speaker 1: has to step away to take calls.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, he do.

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Speaker 4: The reason he has to step away is because is

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Speaker 4: no way you.

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Speaker 3: Need to heal these phone calls. Let's just get with

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Speaker 3: the obvious. Now, you can give a man at least

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Speaker 3: some credit. At least he's stepping away.

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Speaker 4: It's time to be because let me tell you something.

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Speaker 3: If he don't step away, huh. He just told you.

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Speaker 4: In the letter he was gonna find ways to make

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Speaker 4: the marriage work. Well, the way he found you don't

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Speaker 4: need to hear this now he got married at twenty five.

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Speaker 3: Like my answer?

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Speaker 4: Well see, but but see you don't like mine because

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Speaker 4: my answer to truth.

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Speaker 3: Your answer was filled with speculation, phones and stuff.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you pull the bad phone out and tried to

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Speaker 4: run over with the car.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that's them late response.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but you guys know how you are about your phone.

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Speaker 4: But let's get to the call of what's wrong. The

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Speaker 4: problem made the phone? He getting new phone, see him.

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Speaker 3: Called all his stuff in the clouds.

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Speaker 2: He can do all.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he can get a new phone by this evening.

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Speaker 4: See now, because you acted funky running over cars, he

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Speaker 4: gonna fix your because he gonna not he gonna get

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Speaker 4: track phon him. See he gonna buy a phone at

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Speaker 4: Walmart and put some minutes on it. And you run

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Speaker 4: over all these you want to.

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Speaker 2: That's for stuff.

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Speaker 4: See that's so let's just understand that y'all ain't doing

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Speaker 4: nothing with this phone. And you're gonna mess around and

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Speaker 4: gonna see what track phone do. Ain't no clouds for that.

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Speaker 4: Ain't no tracking now. So thirty six year old woman

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Speaker 4: married this boy that was twenty five. He told her

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Speaker 4: one day he regrets getting married so young. I asked

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Speaker 4: him if he needed a break from the marriage. He

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Speaker 4: said no, He told me to find ways to make

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Speaker 4: our marriage work. What you should have did, like I

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Speaker 4: told you, was talk to him about what all he

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Speaker 4: meant by that, Because what he meant by that, you

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Speaker 4: thought he meant.

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Speaker 3: He was gonna work on the marriage.

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Speaker 4: No, he gonna find some ways to make the marriage

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Speaker 4: work for him. So we planned the trip back to

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Speaker 4: our hometown. Oh, you thought that was it. You thought

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Speaker 4: of y'all went back to the hometown. That was gonna

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Speaker 4: fix it. And then she said right away it didn't

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Speaker 4: work out his.

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Speaker 3: Plan because that wasn't his plan. See, that was y'all's plan.

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Speaker 3: You said, let's go back to where it all started. Well,

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Speaker 3: where it all started.

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Speaker 4: He was twenty four, where it all started, he was

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Speaker 4: sowing oats. So you went to Thanksgiving and that was

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Speaker 4: a big game. In time, we badly saw each other.

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Speaker 4: I was busy with my parents. He was laid out

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Speaker 4: every night. He came into my parents home late, and

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Speaker 4: I noticed the third night that his cell phone was

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Speaker 4: off while he slept. I asked him about it the

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Speaker 4: next morning. He said it must have died, or he

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Speaker 4: could have used another excuse and says, I turned my

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Speaker 4: phone off to give it some rest. Because you turned

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Speaker 4: this phone off at night so it could recharge itself

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Speaker 4: at a break. Every now and then, you know, you

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Speaker 4: have to cut your phone off and cut it back

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Speaker 4: off again, put it on and just left shut.

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Speaker 3: It needed a break because I needed to reset it

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Speaker 3: your phone.

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Speaker 4: So anyway, but it wasn't dead because I turned it

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Speaker 4: back on and off the same night. That's why you

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Speaker 4: use the other live fellas go with the I turned

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Speaker 4: it off.

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Speaker 2: To reset it.

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Speaker 4: After we spent time in our hometown, his attitude change.

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Speaker 4: He started posting more pictures on Instagram. He was constantly

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Speaker 4: on his phone, scrolling through social media post Then he

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Speaker 4: started to get phone calls late in the evening. He

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Speaker 4: would ignore them, but I would check the phone when

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Speaker 4: he wasn't around. I could see that he'd always delete

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Speaker 4: the incoming call.

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Speaker 2: Law my dog, your dog.

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Speaker 3: Well, he do it all the right things to work on.

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Speaker 4: His marriage, to save his marriage.

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Speaker 3: No, listen to me. I want you all to hear me,

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Speaker 3: so you learn how to question your man.

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Speaker 4: When he said he was gonna find ways to make

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Speaker 4: our marriage where, you should have asked him exactly what

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Speaker 4: he meant by that, because it showed wasn't a trip

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Speaker 4: back to the hometown.

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Speaker 3: Was part of it. But who was at the hometown

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Speaker 3: at the game is what you didn't know. That's what So.

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Speaker 4: So now he racing call loss. You can't track no calls.

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Speaker 4: He ain't got no names listened. Then over the holidays,

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Speaker 4: a few calls came in and he had to step

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Speaker 4: away to take them. And it happened we had company

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Speaker 4: or when we were out, so I couldn't question him

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Speaker 4: a cause of sin. Well, that's where being a little

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Speaker 4: bit to light, because most women I know whould have

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Speaker 4: opened up with where you're going? Yeah, yeah, I get well,

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Speaker 4: I will all be outside taking calls.

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Speaker 3: She'll walk out there with you and listen. So I

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Speaker 3: don't know how.

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Speaker 4: On New Year's Eve we decided to stay and have

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Speaker 4: shamp champagne.

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Speaker 3: He was distant. He played with his phone all night.

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Speaker 4: A stroke of midnight, his phone ring and he stepped

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Speaker 4: outside to take the call. Yeah, him wishing her happy news.

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Speaker 3: I love you, I miss you, Happy new you, wish

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Speaker 3: you was here. All that. He working on staying with you,

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Speaker 3: and this is the only way he can do it.

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Speaker 3: Don't you understand?

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Speaker 4: You should have asked him what I meant when he said,

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna work on making this work, because he's doing

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Speaker 4: some shit. I have confronted him at that moment of

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Speaker 4: the New Year. I yes, you should have what's my

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Speaker 4: husband up to? You're stupid for asking the questions.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: FM on Instagram and on Facebook, and check out the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.

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Speaker 2: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.