WEBVTT - It’s Trauma, Mama… 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:04.080 The Black Fat Film Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio 0:00:04.320 --> 0:00:08.479 and Doctor John Paul LLC. Hey everyone, welcome to another 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:11.280 episode of the blockfests and podcast were all the intersections 0:00:11.280 --> 0:00:14.600 of it in are celebrated. I am one of your hosts, John, 0:00:14.640 --> 0:00:17.720 also known as Doctor John's Paul. And while you were 0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:21.680 on nuke Map trying to figure out how safe you 0:00:21.760 --> 0:00:26.400 would be if I ran did decide to be good 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:30.320 dang unless you came to bang bombs over bad dad. 0:00:30.640 --> 0:00:32.240 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:33.720 I know it's not funny, but you got a laugh 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:38.280 to keep from crying while you were worried about retaliation. 0:00:39.280 --> 0:00:43.600 Whoo my god. I was on the Buljangos website trying 0:00:43.640 --> 0:00:46.159 to find out why none of them holes open in 0:00:46.200 --> 0:00:49.440 our area yet. So this is the thing. Don't promise 0:00:49.520 --> 0:00:53.920 me something and then go back on it. Bojangles, you 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:56.240 told me a year ago that you would have three 0:00:56.320 --> 0:00:59.360 locations in LA and I have not seen one of 0:00:59.400 --> 0:01:04.880 them locate ships. I need answers. Where is your scooter? 0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:05.920 Girl? 0:01:05.959 --> 0:01:07.280 Where is your scooter? 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:09.280 Anyway? 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:10.319 How are you? Joh? 0:01:10.880 --> 0:01:14.720 I cannot with you, John, I cannot. I can't you 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:17.200 come out the gates with that? Knowing full well, I 0:01:17.240 --> 0:01:21.600 was I was eight. I bet you me up when 0:01:21.640 --> 0:01:24.360 I when I posted about Iran Earl earlier last week. 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:27.280 So I ain't saying shakep my mouth shut. I'm just 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:30.640 saying in my lane doing the most people who I 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:32.400 was out here trying people was out here speaking on 0:01:32.520 --> 0:01:35.200 my name. It was it was wild. I mean, I 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:38.000 can I can hold, I can hold. I messed up, y'all, 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:38.720 but y'all came. 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:40.960 Too much on me. I was like, y'all even calm down, 0:01:41.000 --> 0:01:43.480 like y'all I I I probably ever slipped. 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:47.680 Let's relax, relox and truthfully all y'all coming from me, 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:50.760 Let's be less, let's let's talk to you honestly. 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:53.240 You want one time post all by folks, but. 0:01:53.240 --> 0:01:56.560 Here we are, here, we are Yeah, the man of times. 0:01:56.560 --> 0:01:58.680 People are be like I can't believe you would do that. 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:00.880 Like I just I sho something that was a very 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:03.880 real valid fear that everyone's like, how do you share this? 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:05.760 I was like, you don't share it about black people? Girl? 0:02:07.280 --> 0:02:08.560 Why are you in my DMS? 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:15.359 Like I appreciate a call in, I love a calling. Yeah, 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:19.000 it was just like the several messages of like how 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:19.600 dare you? 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:22.400 How dare you? What was crazy, girl crazy. 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:24.160 This is so, this is what I have to say 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:27.680 right before we get into our episode. I think you know, 0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:30.239 like we talked about not last week, but the week 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:34.360 before last. We talked about this idea of people walking 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:39.399 around like they are higher, highly mighty bit better. And 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:43.359 you know, I'm because I do social justice the right 0:02:43.400 --> 0:02:45.480 the way, I am better than you. And it's that girl, 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:48.400 you are the set you you ship the same way. 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:52.000 I ship, because are you just like I'm tired of people, 0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:56.600 people missing, people mistaking theory for process, Like I'm really 0:02:56.680 --> 0:03:00.320 tired of just like like I actually don't care about 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:02.399 out how many books you were, actually don't care about 0:03:02.400 --> 0:03:04.359 what my education background was that part? 0:03:04.560 --> 0:03:06.320 I here, are you actually in the streets? Do in 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:06.679 the work? 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:10.400 Are you? Like like I'm and a lot of are 0:03:10.560 --> 0:03:14.800 I Like I'm exhausting, I'm exhausting myself trying to work 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:16.440 for the black transpiity. 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:18.480 Here and there you go like, yeah, I don't have 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:19.120 time for the books. 0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:21.760 You don't have time for the art the artic Just 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:23.840 send me are you doing the working out if you 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.520 have no outcome? If you have, we're doing in practice, 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:29.800 Like I cannot walk with you now, but Anyway, Anyways, y'all, 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:34.519 it's a girl Jordan aka tig Girl Joho, and I 0:03:34.639 --> 0:03:37.520 just have to say no, no, I'm gonna say it 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:40.200 with my no man pants because y'all was. 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:46.200 Busted. I was being tested today by the little busses. 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:52.960 Okay, yeah, fine, Well, as we always do, we're gonna 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:55.360 start off our show by giving flowers Star Girl, Miss 0:03:55.360 --> 0:03:59.119 Tisha Campbell and are still here segment Tisha girl, come 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:01.840 on dad to this. Oh, let's talk. I'm gonna keep 0:04:01.840 --> 0:04:04.480 putting this out to somebody hear it and invite her 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:07.080 own and let her know that she's got She's got us, 0:04:07.120 --> 0:04:09.320 she's got a chair with us. But with that being said, 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:12.760 this week, considering that Pride Month is officially over. By 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:14.400 the time you hear this, you will hear this on 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:18.240 July first, Pride Week will be done. Start off, yes, 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:21.279 Pride months. Yeah, Pride Month will be done. I Pride week, 0:04:21.279 --> 0:04:24.599 but Pride Month will be done. I wanted to start 0:04:24.600 --> 0:04:29.320 off this week's episode by asking the question, what is 0:04:29.640 --> 0:04:34.080 something you may have prayed for this year or even 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:37.040 prayed for, you know under this new moon or you 0:04:37.040 --> 0:04:41.400 know under under the under the pride, under the pride month, 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:45.160 you know, the culmination of things. What is something you 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:47.680 may have prayed for that you are happy to see, 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:50.640 something that you're happy to see coming to fruition. I know, 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:53.320 for me, I will say this so at the beginning 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:55.560 of this year, and I've talked about it on the show, 0:04:55.600 --> 0:04:57.600 I've talked about it in different you know fast as, 0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:00.359 I have even posted about it on social media. I know, 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:03.000 for me, I posted very earlier in the year that 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:07.160 I since losing my friend, losing my best friend to COVID, 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:11.640 and since kind of coming out of COVID, I felt 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:14.400 sort of isolated and feeling as if like I don't 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:18.080 have the closeness or the connections that I maybe once 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:20.640 had with certain people or even certain groups of people 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:23.360 prior to the pandemic. And so at the top of 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:25.400 the year, that was one of my prayers. My prayers was, 0:05:25.480 --> 0:05:28.760 you know, God, please, if there's people in my circle 0:05:28.760 --> 0:05:30.880 who are not feeding me, let them go on and 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:32.159 do what they need to do on their end. And 0:05:32.200 --> 0:05:33.840 if there are people who really want to pour into me, 0:05:34.200 --> 0:05:36.320 come on down over here, you know. And I want 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:38.599 to make sure that I don't take away from the 0:05:38.680 --> 0:05:40.359 you know, the stuff you do or the things that 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:42.480 my partner does, or even some of the listeners. Right, 0:05:42.480 --> 0:05:44.760 we have a lot of listeners who are close friends 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:46.919 of both of ours, right, or people that really go 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:48.920 up from me and really go up for you too. 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:50.599 So I don't want to take away from that, but 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:54.359 I will say when I said this prayer, that was 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:56.920 probably the first prayer I had said like out loud 0:05:57.240 --> 0:05:59.400 where it wasn't just a kind of like a you know, 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:02.359 I was intentional. I set down and I prayed to 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:04.880 the universe and I said, and again this is something 0:06:04.920 --> 0:06:08.400 I rarely do. I really really said, God, please just 0:06:08.440 --> 0:06:10.720 put good people in my life so I can feel 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:13.120 like I have a solid you know, I have a 0:06:13.160 --> 0:06:16.719 solid group of friends, and literally, people out of the 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:18.880 blue just started kind of like showing up. And that's 0:06:18.920 --> 0:06:20.640 that's what tells me. And I know I say this 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:22.400 a lot, and I joke, you know, this is what 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:24.480 tells me that God is real. Because now I'm like, 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:26.560 I'm I'm having friends hit me and be like, hey, 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:28.560 do you want to do this this month? Hey do 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:30.200 we want to go book that? Or Hey do you 0:06:30.200 --> 0:06:32.240 want to come over to do this thing? Or do 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:34.520 you want to and it and it just feels really 0:06:34.560 --> 0:06:37.799 good to see in like real time that the universe 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:41.599 is answering my prayers. So yeah, like even thinking about 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:44.359 everybody who showed up for my book talk like and 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:47.320 how folks are using their platforms to help me lift mine, 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:49.400 like shout out to Delta. Yeah, I was on Delta. 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:52.880 I was on very Delta, you know, last week obviously, 0:06:53.320 --> 0:06:55.200 And so it's just a lot of stuff has just 0:06:55.240 --> 0:06:57.839 been kind of culminating to show me like people really 0:06:57.880 --> 0:07:00.680 got me and the universe is answering my prayers. So 0:07:00.720 --> 0:07:03.640 it's like it feels like God is like God has 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:05.960 not forgotten about me, and it just God, don't play 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:06.640 about your girl. 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:07.800 God don't yeah about you. 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:08.640 Amen. Amen. 0:07:10.040 --> 0:07:12.840 He does it every day every day, you know. I 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:17.679 think for me, then I prayed for probably something for fruition. 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:21.840 I think i've this year. I think I said into 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:24.480 my blackness in a new way. I think that's been 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:25.240 really amazing. 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:27.320 Like getting my getting my hair braided has been like 0:07:27.320 --> 0:07:31.080 a really fun expression of like I feeling better. And 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:33.760 so I think like I prayed for like more comfort, 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:36.080 like another level of come for my blackness. I think 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:39.240 also becoming President of Black Pride was like a hard 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:42.040 thing for me because I was like, am I black 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:42.600 enough for this? 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:45.560 For like myriad reasons, And so I think I prayed. 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:47.600 I think I prayed for like I think I prayed 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:50.520 for like like I definitely I prayed like universe, like 0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:52.720 let me know that this is the right path for me. 0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:56.040 Give like give me the courage to step into myself 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:59.679 more and like you know, like like they they they please, 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:01.800 like because like let me leave with the authentic version 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:04.360 of myself. And it's been happening, and I'm very very 0:08:04.400 --> 0:08:07.800 thankful for that. I'm very thankful that I feel good. 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:10.920 I feel tired, but I know, like we have so 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:13.120 much good ideas what we're doing, and we're doing so 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:15.520 much good work. I'm excited and like, like you know, 0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:17.000 like like even just like today we met with a 0:08:17.040 --> 0:08:19.840 potential partner and it was a really great conversation, and 0:08:19.880 --> 0:08:22.720 so I'm like, I feel really good about. 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:26.680 The idea I feel about like who I am. 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:28.120 As about person and how I'm showing up in my 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:30.960 blackness and the like and like and like like it's 0:08:31.000 --> 0:08:32.800 giving them more as you make more confidence in myself 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:35.959 in other ways, it's been really amazing. So I think 0:08:36.040 --> 0:08:38.840 that's been coming to fruition, like just like more self, 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:42.800 more self advocacy, more self, more self atteration, more self 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:44.680 belief in a new. 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:47.679 And new powerful ways. So yeah, and that's my life. 0:08:48.000 --> 0:08:50.800 Yeah. No, And I will say this just you know, lovingly. 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:53.280 I will say, keep in mind that some of these 0:08:53.400 --> 0:08:56.680 questions that we have about ourselves and how we show 0:08:56.760 --> 0:08:59.840 up in this world are tools of white supremacy, you know, 0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:04.280 a tool to keep you, you know, questioning your existence 0:09:04.320 --> 0:09:08.040 in a world. And so are you black enough? Who 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:10.400 the fuck cares? Keep doing it? You know, keep showing 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:12.800 up in whatever way you want to show up. And 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:15.160 you know, again, at the end of the day, the 0:09:15.200 --> 0:09:16.760 work is gonna get done. And that's the thing I 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:19.559 want to say that I definitely want to hold is that, 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:23.120 you know, I appreciate seeing folks like you out here 0:09:23.160 --> 0:09:26.120 doing things like Black Pride and all these other things 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:28.680 that you're doing because it reminds me of the stuff 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:30.680 I'm passionate about and the stuff I need to be doing. 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:32.920 So I definitely just wanted to give you your flowers 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:35.720 around that and then braids. Like I said, if I 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:38.000 wasn't tend to head it, I'd be right behind. 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:38.720 You know, A girl. 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:41.920 When we do, when we do our sur sf thing, 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:46.360 I'll take you to my braider because honestly, she will you. 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:49.600 You'll be surprised, like, yeah, you fill intender her first, 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:52.920 but she'll do you right, she'll do you love her. 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:54.640 I will hold you to it. 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:56.880 And your braids would be so cute. 0:09:57.200 --> 0:09:59.520 Yeah, even though I got a big ass head, but. 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:02.000 You will you look so good and and and know it. 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:04.520 We can buy you some bundles to go into it, bitch, 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:07.360 you you with a BRIDI of bus down with a 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:09.720 bad bust down how. 0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:15.280 John, baby idea No, because if you're if, bitch, if 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:17.679 you're in, I'll buy you the bundles. 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:23.360 And please please please down and I would summer. 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:32.880 Please yes, before I let go, I'm yes, yes. 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:34.960 Please, I'm I am like super here for it. You 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:37.280 already know that. But with that being said, now that 0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:39.760 we have taken a moment to give our testimony and 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:42.440 pass the collection plate, we are going to pay our 0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:43.439 tides and take a. 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:45.079 Moment to take a quick break. We'll be back in 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:55.720 a second, and we are back famin this week. John's 0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:58.520 the driver's seat. We're talking about something that based on 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:00.520 social media. Now I know John your shild footed with 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:03.760 me where person was talking about how epigenetics and the 0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:06.679 distrust they have related to certain things. 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:09.080 You asked if I believe in epigenetics. 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:10.880 And the thought about how it might drive some of 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:13.280 the generational, generational crystial things we about we have about 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:16.120 stainth things for ourselves. So I know for me, like, 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:19.520 I definitely like sometimes I joke, like I joke with friends, 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:21.079 like the sound of gas triggers me. 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:25.120 Holocaust, like gas. 0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:28.319 Didn't know, get out of here. I am done with you. 0:11:28.360 --> 0:11:29.080 Get out of here. 0:11:29.480 --> 0:11:31.600 If I if I, if I, if I see a 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:35.480 treat a treat bench rope, I'm like, I'm like, I 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:36.040 freeze up. 0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:38.520 But like, but like, I like, I really do think 0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:39.400 there's certain. 0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:41.440 Earlier. 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:43.040 It's an earlier. Girl, you got a laugh to keep 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:43.520 from crying. 0:11:44.520 --> 0:11:47.720 I think you know for me, there are I do believe. 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:51.200 I do believe in the idea that so yes, the 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:54.960 idea that in intergenerational trauma, like I think changes the 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:56.000 expression of every DNA. 0:11:56.480 --> 0:11:58.400 I'm not scientists, so I don't know how they how 0:11:58.640 --> 0:11:59.280 may we phrase. 0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:01.719 I don't know if it changes specivity in a or 0:12:01.840 --> 0:12:04.560 rather like it pages your your behaviors and how they 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:07.079 trust themselves. Like I definitely do think that the way 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:09.400 or like way stress like happens, right, because there are 0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:11.920 times where I think, like I can handle a lot 0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:14.120 of stress, like I can physically in allow of stress. 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:16.400 Some people can ancelss at all. I can hand a 0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:17.400 lot of stress because. 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:19.960 Like both my families have had really stressful experiences and 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:23.560 histories themselves, you know, very and very much like Bootshet 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:25.400 mentality in the sense of like you gotta keep it going, 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:27.839 keep a pushing, even things going wrong. And I think 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:30.839 that is definitely like intergenerational, like not just in terms 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.240 of values like immigrant values, right, but. 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:36.199 Like values of like danger, hysteria or survival. 0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:40.120 You know, I think, I think instead of survival, instincts 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:43.680 are passed down, you know, instincts about about being resourceful 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:48.360 are passed down. I think, I think like you know, 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:50.560 I think like like I think I have a certain 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:53.560 intuition in like in myself that I think is like 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:55.480 also past like that to me is passed out for sure, 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:57.880 like because I know people my family have had intuitions, right, 0:12:58.200 --> 0:12:59.960 a different level of spiritual. 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:02.640 Connection into something. So I you know, I do believe 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:02.880 in it. 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:05.400 I do believe like I do believe that there are 0:13:05.480 --> 0:13:07.440 that there are ways in which things, like you know, 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:09.360 things change how we are. But I also I also 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:12.480 think though, like like like what I think about last night, 0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:15.400 Imber made so like this is really interesting and silly. 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:16.040 But like. 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:20.520 Growing up, if my dad, if I left and I 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:22.600 left a light on anywhere in the house, like in 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:25.000 the like in the layout of my house growing up, 0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:28.120 like the the front of the house was living room, 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:29.360 family room. 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:31.720 We have too, living room and family room, dinning room, kitchen, 0:13:32.200 --> 0:13:35.120 and then hallway and then parents room, my. 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:38.680 Room and in my mom's office. Right so like three bedroom, 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:42.599 two bad house like like like quite like quite a 0:13:42.600 --> 0:13:45.280 good size. But like but like you don't see lights, 0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:47.679 So you don't see lights from like the family room 0:13:47.760 --> 0:13:49.520 or living room, from my from my parents' bedroom. 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:52.160 But my dad would just know if a light was on. 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:56.679 He'd like Jordan, Jordan, turn the light off, like anywhere 0:13:56.960 --> 0:13:58.439 around he will. 0:13:58.240 --> 0:13:59.160 Know that a light is on. 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:02.240 Like yeah, that dou was like my mom my mama 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:04.880 not care that that man was like the like like 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:07.640 I try to stay by Jordan the light, what light 0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:08.520 the one thing that hang? 0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:09.319 What's on? My guy? 0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:13.040 Like and now as an adult if if like if 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:15.680 I'm in if I'm I'm in bed even MirOS closed, 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:18.800 if any light is on like my roomates like the 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:24.920 I sense it, I'm like I cannot sleep light And 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:28.720 and I was wondering, like this is silly and this ispiculation, 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:31.000 but like I wonder if part of this is like 0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:35.880 is like like pastor from experiences of slavery, right, how 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:36.440 many times? 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:41.240 How many? How many times? Like how many times? How many? 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:44.200 Because it's like this. 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:46.440 Is stop. 0:14:48.320 --> 0:14:54.040 How many times we're like sas walking around with lights? Right, 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:57.240 and like yeah, we're actually fearful of the light that 0:14:57.360 --> 0:14:59.400 was coming towards them, so they were trying to run 0:14:59.400 --> 0:15:02.480 away from right, Okay, when you're right, you smell what 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:07.040 I'm cooking? I literally, I literally I wonder that's the 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:08.680 part of it is like it's like being a good 0:15:09.000 --> 0:15:12.240 having like the light right or for example, like like 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:15.600 like I'm alike sleeper typically so like and whenever if 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:18.800 I'm ever asleep and someone's not home, be like the 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:21.800 before they even get to the actual door, I'll wake up, 0:15:21.920 --> 0:15:27.960 like like I like like I will wake up. I'll 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:31.280 wake up second second before the can the door, I'll 0:15:31.320 --> 0:15:34.400 be like awake, like just like, yeah, you just know, 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:41.480 I just know so aways yeah. 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:42.800 Yo, it's I know she's canceled because she's saying at 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:47.160 the inauguration. But anyway, I was she did, she did? 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:51.280 She did? She did? Who was jewel? Jewel? She's sag 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:55.600 at the inauguration? The girl? Oh no, yeah, who will 0:15:55.800 --> 0:16:00.800 say so? But no. So for those so, I think 0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:03.320 this is very interesting and I love that you're talking 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:05.880 about this in this way. So for those of you 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:09.920 who are not super into the whole epigenetics conversation, and 0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:12.440 like I said, I want to make sure that folks 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:14.360 don't think this is just a you know, a lot 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:17.200 of this is tenfoily, but it also is a real 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:18.920 thing that I was like, I think this will be 0:16:18.960 --> 0:16:22.280 a great conversation because we've talked about generational curses in 0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:24.680 different facets, but we never really talked about what's the 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:27.720 stuff that's ingrained in us or what are the things 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:30.880 that we kind of feel our in our DNA, and 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:33.440 you know, we're working to kind of undo that. And 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:36.520 so I was telling Joho, I saw someone talk about 0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:39.920 this the clip or the tweet, and the tweet the 0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:43.360 threat that I saw was a woman talking about the 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:46.760 ways that you know, all the ways that she distrusts things, 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:51.560 and how black people innately have distrust built into them 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:54.360 because of what we've been through and what we've experienced. 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:56.120 And I said, Wow, this reminds me a lot of 0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:58.120 And again I like to give credit where credit is due. 0:16:58.320 --> 0:16:58.920 I said, this. 0:16:58.880 --> 0:17:01.000 Reminds me a lot of conversation I heard on the 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:04.280 friend Zone where Frand was talking about epigenetics, and I 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:07.159 dipped into wanting to understand it more myself. And so, 0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:09.919 for those of you who don't know, epigenetics is this 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:14.240 concept of of things that are traumatic, things specifically traumatic 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:17.320 things that are ingrained in your parents' DNA or in 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:19.840 your parents parents DNA that's passed down to you. And 0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:23.359 so there have been studies and again some of these 0:17:23.400 --> 0:17:25.879 studies are are you know, there's still big question marks 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:28.800 around what does this truly mean for our DNA? But 0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:30.840 I know one of the studies that they did was 0:17:30.920 --> 0:17:34.760 around some rats, and it was rats that were taught 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:39.639 to be afraid of cherry blossoms. And basically what they 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:42.640 would use they would they would basically give rats reasons 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:45.080 to be afraid of the cherry blossom, and then they 0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:47.440 would let the rats pro create, and then they would 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:50.840 test the rats that came from whatever batch that were 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:53.800 being tested and to see how those baby rats would respond. 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:57.520 And what they found was that the baby rats were 0:17:57.640 --> 0:17:59.679 whenever they would see a cherry blossom or whatever, they 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:03.320 would military blossom, they would freak out, right, they would, 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:06.000 the babies would. And so there are all of these studies, 0:18:06.040 --> 0:18:08.360 you know, and again don't I don't know how that 0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:11.199 would would and again there's been no research that has 0:18:11.240 --> 0:18:14.639 tied it to humans, right, But the idea that trauma 0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:18.159 is passed down through generations, it's real. And so I 0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:20.520 had brought this up because, you know, I wanted to 0:18:20.520 --> 0:18:23.000 add a little seasoning to the topic and thinking about 0:18:23.040 --> 0:18:25.720 some of the things that maybe have been passed down 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:28.200 to us and things that might be keeping us tied 0:18:28.760 --> 0:18:31.959 to this feeling of being quote unquote curse and what 0:18:32.000 --> 0:18:34.240 we might be doing to break them. And I know, 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:35.720 for me, you know, one of the things that I 0:18:35.760 --> 0:18:37.840 have brought up as I've been dancing around this idea 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:40.480 of like maybe epigenetics is a thinker, Maybe there needs 0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:44.600 to be more research and epigenetics, right, I think about 0:18:44.640 --> 0:18:47.560 generational curses, and you know, one of the questions that 0:18:47.600 --> 0:18:50.240 I've had is, you know, and maybe this is a 0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:52.960 question that I have more for you, what's your take 0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:56.760 on the idea of generational curses and how have you 0:18:56.800 --> 0:18:58.960 seen them play out in your life? And before you 0:18:59.000 --> 0:19:00.879 answer that, I know, for me, I think one of 0:19:00.920 --> 0:19:04.119 the biggest generational curses that I have seen is this 0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:08.919