WEBVTT - The Kids Are Fine! 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.480 Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife. 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:06.560 She cooked, she cleaned, cared for her children and the 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:09.600 man of the house, and of course she didn't talk back. 0:00:09.760 --> 0:00:12.600 She was both obedient and soft by nature. She was 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:17.599 a good woman who always made good choices. That we're 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:18.720 good mom's bad choices. 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:19.599 Who's single mom? 0:00:19.600 --> 0:00:22.239 Who said? But the patriarchy shared all their bad choices 0:00:22.280 --> 0:00:23.560 and found out they were so bad. 0:00:23.600 --> 0:00:25.000 After all, we're experts. 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:28.280 Overshairs and your new vestie sit back and do the ride. 0:00:28.760 --> 0:00:35.479 I can do a pack, I can do on. 0:00:35.640 --> 0:00:43.240 My Welcome back to good mom's bad choices. I'm Erica 0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:47.800 and I'm Meela. Happy hump day, bitches, Happy motherfucking hump day. 0:00:48.640 --> 0:00:51.080 How are you feeling. I feel like a new bitch 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:54.520 because you have a new wig. Yeah, okay, if you're. 0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:57.800 On YouTube, then you can see your girl has locks. 0:00:58.240 --> 0:01:01.320 I mean not German, not locks like locks at like 0:01:01.480 --> 0:01:02.960 lock locks, but like hair. 0:01:04.319 --> 0:01:06.360 You know, I'm inspired. I'm gonna go get me some hair. 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:07.119 I had. 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:08.520 I had one in a cart, but you know I 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:11.200 have purchase anxiety, so I never pushed sin. 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:13.120 But I mean this is a old this is a 0:01:13.200 --> 0:01:15.360 vintage wig. I got this one about ten years ago. 0:01:15.440 --> 0:01:16.679 You kept it nice. I know. 0:01:16.760 --> 0:01:18.440 I pulled it out, I washed it. I said, we're 0:01:18.440 --> 0:01:20.759 gonna revive you, honey, because I went, you. 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:22.320 Have a wig cap like a wig holder. 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:24.560 I try it, Okay, I do I have wig holders 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:26.160 because I was really committed to my wig life at 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:27.720 one point. I think this is like right before I 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:29.400 met you, I was in a I was on a 0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:32.720 wig journey, and back then wigs were more expensive. Because 0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:34.400 I think I paid like fucking seven hundred dollars for 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:35.040 this motherfucker. 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:37.320 Well, you better revive it then, bitch, But I might. 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:39.760 You know what I think. I I think that I 0:01:39.800 --> 0:01:44.119 realized that you can't go cheap on wigs because I 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:48.400 went on Instagram and asked the people, Hey, where are 0:01:48.400 --> 0:01:51.320 the best wigs, and they said TikTok, And so I 0:01:51.360 --> 0:01:54.720 went to TikTok and I ordered three wigs at one 0:01:54.760 --> 0:02:00.440 in the morning, along with this outfit. Okay, along with 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:04.280 this outfit that came yesterday, and a hat that costs 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:06.720 one dollar and glasses that cost one dollar and twenty 0:02:06.760 --> 0:02:10.200 two cents. We'll see how how it fares. I was like, really, okay, 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:14.840 and so far, both wigs that have come are are 0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:15.799 a hell the fuck now? 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:18.359 I saw the one that Sebastian was wearing that it 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:19.040 looks so good. 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:23.000 I mean, the color was wrong, that color was orange. 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:23.839 It's notice. 0:02:23.919 --> 0:02:25.840 I was trying to go back to my old blonde 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:27.839 ways that I remember. I was blonde for a long time, 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:31.280 and it's it wasn't giving at all. And then I 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:33.960 got another one yesterday and it had a bang, so 0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:35.720 I thought, oh my god, this is gonna be the wine. 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:39.359 I can't see the hairline, bitch, it is so much hair. 0:02:39.520 --> 0:02:42.760 I look like fucking Rick James or like Tina Turner. 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:44.880 I don't know, it's just too much. It's not let 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:47.320 me see a picture. I didn't take any picture. 0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:52.080 Okay, you know I've never I've never deeply got into 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:55.880 the wigs or the weaves. I feel too like self conscious. 0:02:56.400 --> 0:02:58.959 I mean, looking in I wore this yesterday and I 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:02.760 my short hair, but I was missing my hair and 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:05.160 I was like, I'm then a weird growth phase of 0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:07.440 my hair. I'm about to chop it all off again tomorrow. 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:09.440 But in the meantime, I was like, I need to 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:12.040 put something on this head. So this is me putting 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:14.000 something on this head, and I'm still not brave enough 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:16.360 to have the scalp out. No, she was. 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:19.240 She was brave enough. I had to intervene as a 0:03:19.280 --> 0:03:22.160 real friend. She was actually one hundred brave enough. 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:24.119 It looked. 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:27.119 I thought, maybe it's just because I haven't seen myself 0:03:27.160 --> 0:03:30.800 with this wig on that. Maybe it's just it's just 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:32.120 like an integration process. 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:36.160 But no, no, we're just gonna wait till you get 0:03:36.160 --> 0:03:38.480 some baby hairs there whateves. I think you need like 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:40.840 that one piece of hair to come through. But you know, 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:43.640 I'm gonna get a wig. I think maybe it's time. 0:03:44.000 --> 0:03:49.920 But well, so my friend's mom DMed me and was like, 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:55.640 get your wigs from U. Nice you nice? You nice? 0:03:56.040 --> 0:03:59.640 Or love me wigs? So that's my next, just your next, okay, 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:02.280 with some good I'm gonna return these, get my money 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:04.880 back and then invest else. How much of are those 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:10.720 ways that you got between sixty dollars and one seventy five? 0:04:11.160 --> 0:04:14.840 Okay, yeah, okay, Well, I you know I'm here to 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:16.320 support you during your journey. 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:19.760 Thank you. Other than that, I'm everything's great. 0:04:20.640 --> 0:04:23.719 I feel like our outfits are looking giving very early 0:04:23.760 --> 0:04:24.680 two thousands. 0:04:25.080 --> 0:04:28.080 Well, you know it's it is the first week of June, 0:04:28.120 --> 0:04:29.760 and so I was trying to like live in it up. 0:04:29.800 --> 0:04:31.720 We're almost at summertime. I was trying to match our 0:04:31.760 --> 0:04:32.400 set a little bit. 0:04:32.720 --> 0:04:35.240 It's it's no, it's June and gloom because it's been 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:37.280 it's been like eighty degrees in La and then I'll 0:04:37.279 --> 0:04:40.600 go and be fucking raining. So and I need to 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:42.120 get my I'm getting my hair to en tomorrownci. I'm 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:44.760 gonna take these out, these Jamaican braids. There's time to come. 0:04:44.680 --> 0:04:46.320 Out and have those in for a minute. 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:49.080 I did because I'm gonna when braids cost four hundred dollars, 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:54.240 I'm gonna milk these motherfuckers. So I'm gonna. I thought, 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:55.599 we're gonna shave our heads together? 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:56.680 Are you ready? 0:04:57.040 --> 0:04:57.360 Almost? 0:04:57.400 --> 0:05:00.000 Should we do to Costa Rica? Maybe that's always been 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:00.640 my vision? 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:04.280 What is this? Your dramatic care cutting visions? Tell me 0:05:04.320 --> 0:05:04.680 about it. 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:06.560 Yeah, well, first it was my friends were all gonna 0:05:06.560 --> 0:05:08.600 cut my hair. I said, no, fuck that, I need 0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:10.920 to do it myself. But the shaving of my head, 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:13.200 I had a vision. I actually had this. Really, I 0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:16.600 had a really specific vision of yesterday about shaving my head. 0:05:17.279 --> 0:05:19.480 Because I've had a lot of women DM me saying 0:05:19.520 --> 0:05:22.240 they want to shave their head and I'm like me too, 0:05:22.720 --> 0:05:24.480 and so I was like, what if we all get 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:26.960 together and shave our heads together? 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:29.160 Oh yeah, and then told me. 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:32.120 And then do it like it'll go viral, right, like 0:05:32.160 --> 0:05:34.080 we all shave our head like all these then you 0:05:34.080 --> 0:05:35.400 know the niggas are gonna be mad, like all these 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:36.560 bald headed bitches. 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:39.000 That maybe that's that's our like fuck you to patriarchy. 0:05:39.040 --> 0:05:41.000 Yeah yeah yeah, but I figured like we could do 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:42.479 it here or there's good lighting. 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:46.359 This is how your mind works and vira viralality. My 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:49.040 mind works, and everyone's gonna go viral. Your mind works 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:49.560 and clips. 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:51.400 So me and my best friend we're doing well, but 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:53.160 her mind keeps working in clips, so we can't get 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:55.320 past the forty five second conversation. 0:05:56.520 --> 0:05:58.680 So if you are listening to this episode and you 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:01.080 want to shave your head, DM me because I'm trying 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:03.920 to get a load of bitches to come. 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:06.960 A load of bitches so go bald together. You want 0:06:06.960 --> 0:06:08.479 to do it in Costa Rica, you want to do 0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:08.800 it here. 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:11.680 I mean I'm open if there's like, if there's a 0:06:11.720 --> 0:06:13.279 load of bitches that want to go bald with me 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:16.080 here I will sacrifice my dreams of Costa Rica and 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:18.880 do it here. But if not, then my goal was 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:21.200 to do it in Costa Rica and like in the 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:23.920 jungles and outside and then jump in the ocean. 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:27.239 This is the problem with your with your with your thoughts. 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:29.800 There's no problem with my thoughts. My thoughts are perfect. 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:32.000 Right the first the first time she had this idea, 0:06:32.040 --> 0:06:33.359 she's like, yeah, all I tried to come over and 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:35.800 cut my hair and I was like, okay, but then, 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:37.200 what do you have an appointment? 0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:39.560 I was like, but then what but I did, but 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:41.080 I do I doubt, but I didn't want you to. 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:42.679 I don't want you to think it's like look perfect 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:44.240 when your friends or you cut your hair. 0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:47.479 But I cut my hair myself on Instagram shows I 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:49.080 had an appointment set up that day. 0:06:49.760 --> 0:06:51.240 Well that's why at first I don't think you had 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:53.000 it like all like thought out. You're like, it's just 0:06:53.000 --> 0:06:55.880 gonna look perfect after him, Like you need a real haircut. 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:58.679 Remember pressure at a queen. I walk it outside without 0:06:58.680 --> 0:06:59.039 a plan. 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:01.440 I think you're thinking the movies like g I Jane, 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:03.560 where she looked like she was cutting up. In reality, 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:05.880 the hair people were like cut and then they fixed it. 0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:06.960 Well, she just buzzed her. 0:07:07.080 --> 0:07:07.240 Yeah. 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:09.480 I wasn't going for like a short pixie. She was 0:07:09.520 --> 0:07:11.960 going for bald headed bitch like I'm going for with 0:07:12.040 --> 0:07:14.400 my bald headed friends who are going to be shave. 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:18.520 You know, my plan always is to shave my head 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:20.600 before I get pregnant, because that's what I did with Learna. 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:23.720 But I just realized, I'm realizing now that my hair 0:07:23.760 --> 0:07:25.600 is short, it grows so fast so that even if 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:27.400 I was bald, even if I did shave my head, 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:31.240 I don't have pearls in like two days less. I 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:33.320 meant at the minimum. 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:34.160 It would probably be like two weeks. 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:36.400 Yeah, because even now with this bleach shit, I'm like, 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:37.320 bleach me again. 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:39.640 Were all you need to learn to bleach at yourself. 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:43.320 It's hard with curly hair like I don't. I don't 0:07:43.480 --> 0:07:44.720 skim and my curl path. 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:51.040 Dad he died, WHI is my dad? Anyway? 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:54.960 Yes, it is in fact June, and it got here 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:59.680 fast as ship. We're halfway through the motherfucking ear. Wow, 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:03.880 the time is there fucking with time the government that 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:08.440 is Yeah, it's true, And and I'll. 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:13.720 Be your birthdays this month happ be almost birthday shout 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:16.360 out to the Geminis. It's Gemini season right now. Y'all 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:18.000 are motherfucking nuts. I love you. 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:21.120 Yeah, we can't wait for cancer season. It's all those 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:25.120 sweet soft grillies like myself, super. 0:08:24.800 --> 0:08:29.800 Soft, super soft and sweet yeah. 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:32.040 Super soft, see the cancers. 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:33.760 Something on the phone with Jamila the other day, She's 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:36.840 literally cursing out her whole family over cookies. 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:37.839 What the fuck? 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:40.160 I'm like, maybe you don't have to like curse at them. 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:41.720 You could be mad, but you don't need that. 0:08:41.720 --> 0:08:42.320 I'm mad at you. 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:43.760 When I hang up, I was like, this big, show 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:45.880 me out and talk to my family about these fucking cookies. 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:48.280 Yeah, she was like going in. 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:51.320 I was like, God, damn would you I brought home 0:08:51.600 --> 0:08:54.600 six cookies? Why the fuck would you eat all six cookies? 0:08:55.280 --> 0:08:58.040 I mean, I agree, I'm still mad. And then she 0:08:58.120 --> 0:08:59.040 was trying to make me feel bad. 0:08:59.080 --> 0:09:00.760 I was like, oh, I might say in sord of man, 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:04.000 he's probably internalizing that. It's probably how his mama talked 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:04.240 to him. 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:05.800 You know what, Oh my god, it's so funny you 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:07.640 said that I talked to him. 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:09.000 I had a terrible thought that. 0:09:09.040 --> 0:09:11.040 I was like, oh my god, what if he does 0:09:11.080 --> 0:09:12.760 say I talk mean to him, and then he's is. 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:13.280 This all for me? 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:15.000 Saying no, this is a couple days before. And that's 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:16.520 why I'm like, oh no, you're in my head, bitch, 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:17.320 get out my head. 0:09:17.679 --> 0:09:18.839 I was, I was, I don't know if I was 0:09:18.880 --> 0:09:22.160 being mean or what, and I was, I don't regret. 0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:23.559 The cookie cuss out. I mean. 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:25.640 Also, my family doesn't take me care like seriously at all. 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:29.360 They're just laughing at me. But I was thinking about that. 0:09:29.440 --> 0:09:31.320 I was like laying down and I was like, oh, no, Like, 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:32.400 am I being mean to him? 0:09:32.679 --> 0:09:33.360 Does he like me? 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:35.400 Because I remind him of his mother and his mother 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:36.800 was mean to him. I was like, what if he 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:39.480 wakes up and realizes this is the truth. And I'm like, 0:09:39.480 --> 0:09:40.280 I'm not going to mention. 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:42.800 This to him. I'm just gonna mention it on the podcast. 0:09:42.920 --> 0:09:43.680 Tell everybody he. 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:48.280 Doesn't work here anymore. Like I said, never a word. 0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:50.480 You have to listen now, He's not. He's not going 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:52.440 to you know, you told me one time. He's like, 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:56.520 I've never in my life listened to two women more 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:59.640 in my life. He's like, I've listened to you and 0:09:59.800 --> 0:10:02.960 Eric more than anyone, Like even the thoughts in my head. 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:07.160 He's like, I'm listening recording, I'm listening, I'm listening editing. 0:10:07.200 --> 0:10:09.240 I was like, that's true. It's probably like thousands of 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:11.080 hours of me and Erica in your head. 0:10:11.160 --> 0:10:11.640 Oh my my. 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:12.680 God, do you hate me? 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:14.640 He's listened to us more than we've listened to us. 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:17.360 Literally, Jesus, I'm like, do you absolutely hate it? 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:19.120 He probably knows me better than I know myself. 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:21.040 He's literally it's crazy. 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:23.920 You know, all the unbroken the broken promises I've said 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:25.960 to myself here that I forgot about that I had 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:26.600 never kept. 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:30.360 It's just crazy that I now I not that I 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:32.679 obviously got used to the freedom. I just would turn 0:10:32.720 --> 0:10:34.640 my back and pretend like I couldn't see him. But 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:36.760 now I can talk. I can talk as much shit 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:39.679 as I want. Don't tell him, you guys, don't tell 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:42.800 him that maybe I'm the trauma and I'm and that's 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:45.760 why he's in loop with me. But in my guilt, 0:10:45.880 --> 0:10:48.800 I said, I'm gonna I'm gonna talk nicer to him 0:10:48.840 --> 0:10:52.360 before he figures this out, before he figures out that 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:54.080 maybe he loves me because I'm a little mean like 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:57.840 his mother. I'm gonna change the turn this around. So 0:10:57.920 --> 0:11:03.040 I'm consciously re routing my you know how I talked 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:03.880 to my family. 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:07.839 Maybe maybe you need to find another word for what 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:10.040 the fuck? Maybe you have not that nice? 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:12.079 Do you have? Do you have like an alternative? 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:18.680 Why would you do this? I have questions. I'm curious 0:11:18.920 --> 0:11:20.440 as to why you would eat my cookies. 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:24.240 I was really mad, you know what I mean? 0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:26.679 The biggest I mean, I feel like it's an indication 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:28.559 if you have a healthy marriage. If the biggest fights 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:31.479 are about cookies. All of our fights are about food 0:11:31.920 --> 0:11:34.840 and hanging out with me and watching ninety Day Fiance. 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:37.240 His fights are about hanging out with you. 0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:39.360 He wants to play video games and I'm like, no, 0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:42.160 come downstairs and watch ninety Day Fiance as a family. 0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:45.120 And he's like, I don't want to watch ninety Fiance 0:11:45.200 --> 0:11:46.360 And I'm like, oh, I don't want to watch you 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:47.360 create cars? 0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:50.160 So yeah, pretty healthy. 0:11:50.960 --> 0:11:53.800 At least it is not I've fought off of worshit, 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:55.840 so this is this is a win. 0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:58.280 This week's bad choice of the Week is from our Discord. 0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:00.720 Shout out to our Discord. If you haven't joined Scord yet, 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:02.720 what are you doing? Click the link in this episode 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:03.800 and join discord. 0:12:04.440 --> 0:12:10.160 Bad Mom not a bad mom, but a bad mom. 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:13.840 So good live. 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:24.559 This week's bad choice is falling for yet another love 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:29.840 bombing white man. Damn. I mean, does it hit harder 0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:32.319 when you're love bombed by a white man versus I 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:33.120 have one of your own? 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:33.760 I think? 0:12:33.840 --> 0:12:37.120 So really, yeah, have you been loved bombed by white 0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:37.640 man before? 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:41.920 I don't know if it was love bomb, but I 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:44.320 mean I was young and he was like way older 0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:48.560 and way more well off, so he was probably flying 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:50.880 me out and driving me in this Porsche in this 0:12:50.960 --> 0:12:53.120 fancy house. But I don't know if I would be 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:56.600 called it love bomb. I'm I don't get love bombed 0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:59.800 because I am a I'm like a fairy hoe, like 0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:02.320 I'm minute and I'm out, Like I've never been a 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:05.800 commitment like, I'm like, I've never tried to like create 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:09.200 a relationship ever. I'm just like, this is fine, I'll 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:11.280 call you in two weeks, let me know when you 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:13.719 want to go out of the country. So I don't know, 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:15.800 but if I was, like, if I was a more 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:18.839 basic bitch, I could probably see that as being love bombed, 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:22.200 Like someone really like being impressed by. 0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:23.240 It could be a basic bitch to be love bombed. 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:25.360 No, okay, well maybe I take that back. It's not 0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:25.880 what I meant. 0:13:28.160 --> 0:13:30.800 I just I mean, I have my eyes my eyes, 0:13:31.000 --> 0:13:35.760 my eyes are peeled for love bombers. M I'm always skeptical. 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:38.440 I'm always like, why are you doing this? You don't 0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:39.920 always tell people like you don't have to say all that, 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:41.480 Like I'm not the bitch too, you don't got to 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:44.040 do all that. Stop stop right there before you start 0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:44.959 talking girlfriend talk. 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:45.520 I don't care. 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:49.200 Let's not do that. So that's not really or maybe 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:50.240 I'm just not love mombable. 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:50.719 I don't know. 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:54.560 I got like bombed. I was love bombed by white man. 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:56.440 I got like bombed by a white man, a nice 0:13:56.480 --> 0:13:59.720 Australian man who I think I've told the story where 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:01.760 he was DJ and we were traveling, we're touring together 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:06.520 and he was like, oh yeah, flirting with me all 0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:08.800 the time and then like telling me to come back 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:11.200 to his room and have drinks and stuff. And then 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:13.080 late night I tried to kiss him and he was 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:14.800 like whoa, whoa, whoa, what are we doing? And I 0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:19.160 was like what, I'm so confused. But then I also 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:21.520 realized that most Australian people. They're not fucking with black 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:24.440 women anyway, So not like that there's like an infatuation 0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:27.440 with black people. But to actually and he was like 0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:31.160 a blonde, blue eyed Australian white man. There was no 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:33.440 way he was going to be seen walking down bond 0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:34.200 eyed beach with. 0:14:34.120 --> 0:14:36.560 Me not bond Oh my god, I just remember, maybe 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:38.280 he might be the shit like you're the one black 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:40.080 girl in the thirty mile radius. 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:41.880 He's like, look what I got, guys. 0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:43.400 I need to make I need to go check in 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:45.680 with him. He's he was a DJ, and he did 0:14:45.720 --> 0:14:46.960 that song. Did you ever hear that song? 0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:49.720 I like the way you moved of course? 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:52.280 Yeah, oh okay, yeah. They never know where that man 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:53.840 look like the body Rockers or some shit. 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:54.400 I forgot. 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:56.560 He was really hot. I wonder if he's still hot. 0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:57.400 That's the thing. 0:14:57.320 --> 0:15:01.640 About I was gonna say, I feel me personally. I 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:05.280 aged out of my openness. I age out of my 0:15:05.280 --> 0:15:06.760 my my like. 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:08.840 Oh he's white. I don't. Let's see what happens. 0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:10.640 Like my body age out of it, like I could 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:13.480 no longer make out with whites, I could no longer 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:16.000 lay with the whites. My body was like no matter 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:17.840 how hot they were. But actually, do you remember that time? 0:15:17.880 --> 0:15:19.840 Maybe he remember that guy I went on a couple 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:22.200 of hindhates. Maybe it was tender that white guy and 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:26.080 he wrote me that like weird poem. Remember I write 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:27.960 it on an early episode and it was like the 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:29.880 way you touched me made my shoulders shiver. 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:33.040 Yeah, it was like super ridiculous. 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:34.760 Yeah, look that's him. 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:39.440 That's my white Erica because like you, he looks like 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:42.800 a typical He kind of had like like black features. 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:45.680 He does like that face. That's why I was that 0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:48.000 kind of could be like mixed. Maybe he might be 0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:49.000 twenty five percent? 0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:52.400 No, No, could you date a white? 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:56.120 How do you live? How do you put it out 0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:58.960 of my face? He was kind of no zooming. Can 0:15:59.000 --> 0:16:00.680 you blake up to that face? Every monk? Remember you 0:16:00.720 --> 0:16:01.160 told me that? 0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:06.320 No I could, But I don't know the hair you 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:07.600 know me and the hair texture. 0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:10.040 I'm gonna like, I don't. I actually saw a post 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:13.800 the other day and it was a mixed a biracial 0:16:13.840 --> 0:16:16.600 girl telling urging the black people to stop. 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:19.600 Pro creating with whites. 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:20.320 Oh. 0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:23.680 She was like just stop stop it, And I was like. 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:27.480 Kaz, sorry, sorry, I don't think you're. 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:28.200 Supposed to say his name. 0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:30.840 I mean, I just said his music and look him up, Kaz. 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.120 James cas You're an asshole, and Kazi rejected me. 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:35.760 Fuck you, you confused me. You confuse me. You know what 0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:37.960 you did, Kaz? You know, look at me now. 0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:39.880 We don't like the way you move. I don't like 0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:40.320 it at all. 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:42.280 That's what I only had one hit. Actually, I don't 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:44.000 know what you're doing if you're successful, but shut the 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:49.280 fuck up talking about Oh no, no, fuck you. 0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:55.760 Okay, you're a white man anger right now. Every time 0:16:55.800 --> 0:16:58.080 I see like an influencer or like a very rich 0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:00.360 woman on like a boat with a white man and 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:03.040 their kids, I'm always like that looks nice, but like 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:05.119 it couldn't be me. 0:17:05.600 --> 0:17:07.840 I always am like, I know, when you go around 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:10.440 a bunch of fine tall niggas, you're like, damn what 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:11.479 with someone like chocolate? 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:15.960 True, I mean whatevers, but maybe, I mean maybe not, 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:19.159 maybe not. Some women are traumatized by black men. A 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:21.240 lot of women are tied by black men too. 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:22.840 The case all the time. And I think that some 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:24.920 of these women are perfectly fine. They got their house, 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:28.520 they got their safe, whatever the fuck they needed and they're. 0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:30.800 Good, you know what, It's just like the times. You know, 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:33.440 we're in weird times where the whites are acting completely 0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:35.840 insane again. I mean they've always been acting insane, but 0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:38.520 they're really up up in the margins right now, and 0:17:38.560 --> 0:17:41.960 it's just like, ugh, I can't. I can't even like, 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:46.399 I can't do anything physically romantic with the whites at 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:48.880 this moment, just because it's not good for the ancestors 0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:51.920 like this time and history specifically. 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:54.840 No, thank you, your people are acting up. Go focus 0:17:54.880 --> 0:17:55.080 on that. 0:17:55.760 --> 0:17:59.560 I feel you. Yesterday I went to this, uh, the 0:17:59.600 --> 0:18:03.760 Africa American Museum in downtown LA, and I went to 0:18:03.800 --> 0:18:09.960 go see this documentary by a fine Foine Foine by 0:18:10.040 --> 0:18:10.760 racial man. 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:11.680 Oh he's fine. 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:14.320 Oh oh that was Jessie Williams. Oh yeah, mine as hell. 0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:15.600 Do you remember what I saw with the Emmy party. 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:16.280 I turned around and I. 0:18:16.240 --> 0:18:17.440 Was like, he is so fine. 0:18:17.840 --> 0:18:18.200 I know. 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:19.840 My friend wanted to leave. She's like, I don't like 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:21.520 when people start talking, let's leave. And I was like, 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:21.840 are you. 0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:23.720 Sure who's your friend? 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:25.600 This girl? Jess She was like I don't. I'm like, 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:27.240 who's your I've never heard of a dress? Like, I 0:18:27.280 --> 0:18:29.199 don't really like drink panels. I don't really like do 0:18:29.240 --> 0:18:30.720 the panel thing. I just like to go. I don't 0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:31.720 want to watch it, but you just wanted to. 0:18:31.680 --> 0:18:34.359 See his face and I was I was hoping that 0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:36.479 maybe he would talk first, because she told me that 0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:37.960 at the top, and I was like, okay, so we're 0:18:38.000 --> 0:18:39.920 not going to stay till the end, got it, Maybe 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:41.159 he'll do some talking first. 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:43.639 No, so he missed his talking. He started talking and 0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:44.880 then we left and I was just like. 0:18:46.200 --> 0:18:47.200 I he's fine. 0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:49.600 I saw him at the bar at the Emmy party 0:18:49.640 --> 0:18:51.040 went to and I was just like drinking my drink 0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:52.679 and I looked over and I made eye contact with him, 0:18:52.720 --> 0:18:56.520 and I think I physically was like I was like 0:18:56.560 --> 0:18:58.840 in my mind, I was like like you know when 0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:02.960 you catch eye with someone, you're like, oh, it's I 0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:05.000 felt kind of embarrassed, but I was like, damn, he's fine. 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:09.080 Yeah, he is fine, and he's fine, and he's like 0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:13.000 intelligent and he's like helping our people. He's doing the work. 0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:15.720 I mean, this documentary was really beautiful. I had I 0:19:15.720 --> 0:19:18.800 feel like I've definitely heard of Kwame breathwhit. I don't 0:19:18.800 --> 0:19:22.680 want to butcher his name. Kawam breathwaight, breathwaight. But he's 0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:25.320 like one of the figures of like that really pushed 0:19:25.320 --> 0:19:28.040 the blackest beautiful movement. And he's a photographer and he 0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:31.080 has like beautiful images create he has shot and shot 0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:35.800 some of the most epic, iconic images in history, but 0:19:36.400 --> 0:19:38.199 was never like really given his credit. And so his 0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:42.680 family went through all of his photographs and archived everything, 0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:45.199 restored everything. Now he's in the Smithsonian. Now he's in 0:19:45.920 --> 0:19:50.360 the African American Museum of History in DC. But yeah, 0:19:50.359 --> 0:19:52.200 it was just it was It was a beautiful documentary. 0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:56.080 We should see it. But also Jesse Williams was ninety 0:19:56.080 --> 0:19:57.800 percent of the reason why I went. She sent me 0:19:57.840 --> 0:19:58.040 the love. 0:19:58.080 --> 0:20:00.840 I'm gonna say, you went far as hell life friend. 0:20:01.200 --> 0:20:02.120 Do you want to go? He's like yep. 0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:07.080 I'm like, I'm like, you've drove where. Okay, Yeah it. 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:09.040 Was nice, it was very great. 0:20:11.560 --> 0:20:13.480 Well I'm happy when I wish he would have got 0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:14.600 his number or something, but. 0:20:15.280 --> 0:20:16.440 I think it's a relationship. 0:20:16.480 --> 0:20:18.520 Now he was with that one girl who's on that 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:21.600 cheerleading show with a big lips, white woman. I think, really, 0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:24.119 you know what I think about him, He's like, I 0:20:24.119 --> 0:20:26.160 ain't got No, Minka Kelly. 0:20:25.960 --> 0:20:27.640 Wasn't He was with her for a while, a while. 0:20:27.680 --> 0:20:29.680 I don't know if he's still with her, but he was. 0:20:29.640 --> 0:20:32.280 With that brown girl from the cheerleading show. 0:20:32.440 --> 0:20:34.280 Oh wait, No, he does have a new black girlfriend. 0:20:34.280 --> 0:20:36.199 He finally figured it out. I think I don't know 0:20:36.240 --> 0:20:38.720 he was married. No, never mind, he's married to Alexandra 0:20:38.800 --> 0:20:41.360 on Yeva. Let me see, she's a Spanish actress. 0:20:41.359 --> 0:20:42.520 Since waiting to get married? 0:20:43.600 --> 0:20:45.320 Why is he married to a Spanish? You know they're 0:20:45.359 --> 0:20:46.200 colonizers too? 0:20:46.280 --> 0:20:50.479 About damn? How do you know she's from Spain? How 0:20:50.480 --> 0:20:51.760 do you know where she's from? Already? 0:20:51.760 --> 0:20:53.600 It's said the googles, the air eyes. 0:20:54.480 --> 0:20:56.800 He doesn't have a type because he's gone through quite 0:20:56.840 --> 0:21:01.879 a different different women from No, this baby mom is 0:21:01.920 --> 0:21:04.600 quite racil after her was a black woman, like a 0:21:04.640 --> 0:21:05.200 brown woman? 0:21:05.240 --> 0:21:07.080 Like, oh really, yeah, at least seen the baby mama. 0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:09.600 No, no, yeah, That's why I thought I thought maybe 0:21:09.640 --> 0:21:11.240 I was next. That's why I went at the Emmy party. 0:21:11.280 --> 0:21:15.480 I was like, oh her, let me say Taylor, Yeah, Taylor, yeah, 0:21:15.480 --> 0:21:16.320 they're together for a minute. 0:21:16.320 --> 0:21:17.080 Hey, what do me cure? 0:21:17.080 --> 0:21:18.240 Cute? Are cute? 0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:21.120 That out? I want to see her new movie She's 0:21:21.119 --> 0:21:23.720 in a movie right now with Kiki Palmer called Something Boosters. 0:21:24.480 --> 0:21:28.760 It's the same guy that directed Sorry for Sorry to 0:21:28.800 --> 0:21:30.560 Bother You Bother, Okay, I want to see that. He's 0:21:30.560 --> 0:21:38.600 like a quirky director. Anyway, Summer it's. 0:21:38.440 --> 0:21:41.080 Here, It's upon us. It's coming fast as hell too. 0:21:41.160 --> 0:21:42.960 I'm just it's here. 0:21:43.040 --> 0:21:44.880 Guys. I hate to break it to you, but those 0:21:44.920 --> 0:21:47.520 motherfucking kids, they're about to be in your house twenty 0:21:47.520 --> 0:21:50.399 four fucking seven, twenty or seven. 0:21:50.280 --> 0:21:51.240 Unless you put them in camp. 0:21:51.240 --> 0:21:55.000 And unfortunately we don't get summer breaks. I've had to 0:21:55.040 --> 0:21:57.919 explain this to Iri every year, like, Babe, I know 0:21:57.960 --> 0:22:00.639 that you're on summer break. I am not on summer break. 0:22:00.800 --> 0:22:04.040 I am still working. But one thing that I have 0:22:04.320 --> 0:22:08.679 decided this summer and just been like contemplating. And this 0:22:08.760 --> 0:22:11.240 is something that we get questions about all the time. 0:22:11.320 --> 0:22:13.560 It's like, how do you combat mom guilt? What about 0:22:13.600 --> 0:22:17.000 mom guilt? Fuck mom guilt. I'm done with mom guilt. 0:22:17.480 --> 0:22:19.440 I am vetoing mom guilt for the rest of the 0:22:19.480 --> 0:22:21.880 summer and for eternity. I think that we have got 0:22:21.880 --> 0:22:24.480 to do away. I think we have to like actually abolish. 0:22:24.000 --> 0:22:25.960 The word abolish the word. 0:22:26.080 --> 0:22:28.200 I gotta abolish the word. Just if you can. 0:22:28.080 --> 0:22:31.000 Delete your wholeness, you can absolutely delete your mom guilt. 0:22:31.040 --> 0:22:33.760 If Drea can delete her wholeness, we can delete our 0:22:33.760 --> 0:22:35.840 mom guilt. In twenty twenty six. 0:22:35.840 --> 0:22:38.480 I never I mean no, I mean not lie. 0:22:38.640 --> 0:22:42.000 I often I was like, I'm feeling mom guilt all 0:22:42.040 --> 0:22:44.359 the time. But you know what I realized too about 0:22:44.400 --> 0:22:47.360 the mom guilt. A it's made up by the patriarchy, 0:22:47.560 --> 0:22:47.960 and B. 0:22:50.080 --> 0:22:51.600 It's like it's self inflicted. 0:22:51.640 --> 0:22:56.560 And also like I realize all of my thoughts, every 0:22:56.640 --> 0:22:59.399 single thought that first exists births out of my brain 0:22:59.800 --> 0:23:02.400 is either like guilt, shame, or like I'm not doing 0:23:02.400 --> 0:23:05.800 good enough. When I sit and like really reflect on 0:23:05.840 --> 0:23:08.200 my thoughts, they're always so negative. 0:23:08.800 --> 0:23:09.800 I'm like what the fuck is? 0:23:10.119 --> 0:23:12.440 And not of like the world, but like only internally, 0:23:12.520 --> 0:23:15.359 I'm like I'm not doing good enough, I'm not this enough. 0:23:15.400 --> 0:23:17.480 I'm like, what is going on with my brain? The 0:23:17.480 --> 0:23:21.000 whole brain needs to start overset, brain reset. 0:23:21.040 --> 0:23:23.439 But I realized, like the mom guilt shit is like 0:23:23.480 --> 0:23:25.080 a lot of the things that I feel guilty about 0:23:25.119 --> 0:23:29.120 are things that like my parents lacked in. So I'm 0:23:29.119 --> 0:23:32.000 like almost like projecting the cycle of like, I have 0:23:32.080 --> 0:23:34.560 to do really good at this because this really hurt me, 0:23:34.880 --> 0:23:36.080 even though I'm not my parent. 0:23:36.400 --> 0:23:37.520 So it's like this weird. 0:23:37.800 --> 0:23:39.200 And then I realized I talked to my kid, and 0:23:39.240 --> 0:23:41.480 half the shit I care about she's not give a 0:23:41.480 --> 0:23:41.960 fuck about it. 0:23:42.040 --> 0:23:44.880 She's like, well, I think it's I think mom gild. 0:23:44.920 --> 0:23:47.240 Also talk comes from talking to other moms that are 0:23:47.320 --> 0:23:51.080 like are running them themselves into the ground but acting 0:23:51.160 --> 0:23:53.879 like they're totally fine. So then you're talking to moms 0:23:53.920 --> 0:23:56.520 and they're like, oh, yeah, so Susie's in four different, 0:23:57.320 --> 0:24:00.840 four different camps this summer and she's in in stem 0:24:00.920 --> 0:24:04.199 class and she's learning how to program computers. Oh and 0:24:04.200 --> 0:24:07.439 then also Johnny is dead. So then you're comparing yourself 0:24:07.480 --> 0:24:10.680 and you're like, damn, I'm not I got no camp enrolled, 0:24:10.920 --> 0:24:13.760 I don't know what, I have zero extracurricular activities. I'm 0:24:13.800 --> 0:24:16.240 literally just trying to get through the week. And so 0:24:16.280 --> 0:24:20.439 when you hear other moms that are like essentially out 0:24:20.520 --> 0:24:25.240 performing you or whatever, like you feel, yeah, you feel 0:24:25.240 --> 0:24:27.600 shamed and you feel inadequate. And I'm here to say 0:24:27.600 --> 0:24:32.640 fuck those moms because they're generally unhappy and their kids 0:24:32.640 --> 0:24:35.760 are fucking overworked. Their kids are fucking tired, they're overstimulated. 0:24:35.800 --> 0:24:37.600 Why does why does your kid need to be in 0:24:37.640 --> 0:24:40.359 three different types of activities all because I mean, I 0:24:40.400 --> 0:24:41.359 get it, but did I. 0:24:41.440 --> 0:24:44.080 Learn better skills of like you're gonna go to work soon? 0:24:44.160 --> 0:24:45.120 So figured it out of. 0:24:45.040 --> 0:24:47.480 The Some of the activities, at least for me, that 0:24:47.560 --> 0:24:50.560 my daughter in is literally so that I can do 0:24:50.720 --> 0:24:54.960 other things. But I think sometimes moms that are putting 0:24:54.960 --> 0:24:56.720 their kids in all these different things, it's not even 0:24:56.760 --> 0:24:59.840 about freeing up time for themselves because they're still there. 0:25:00.040 --> 0:25:03.760 I'll go to the activity and stay. It's about it's 0:25:03.760 --> 0:25:07.040 about the fear of like your child being left behind. 0:25:07.080 --> 0:25:08.560 It's about the fear of like looking like you're not 0:25:08.600 --> 0:25:12.400 doing enough. It's the fear of like perhaps maybe their 0:25:12.480 --> 0:25:15.160 parent not doing enough, and so now they're overdoing it. 0:25:15.840 --> 0:25:19.159 And it's like, we've got to just listen to our kids. 0:25:19.480 --> 0:25:21.679 Our kids generally are telling us if they're unhappy. Our 0:25:21.760 --> 0:25:25.880 kids are generally telling us if they need more, and 0:25:26.000 --> 0:25:28.240 nine times out of ten, they're doing just fucking fine. 0:25:28.840 --> 0:25:29.600 The kids are fine. 0:25:30.560 --> 0:25:35.639 Yeah, yeah, I absolutely agree. I was my calendar. I 0:25:35.640 --> 0:25:37.560 don't know what the fuck I was thinking, But like 0:25:37.560 --> 0:25:38.840 the other day. I was actually talking to you on 0:25:38.840 --> 0:25:40.479 the phone and I was at the gym and I 0:25:40.520 --> 0:25:41.760 was like, I'll just stay a little while. 0:25:41.800 --> 0:25:44.280 It's a nice day now, And then I was like, 0:25:44.440 --> 0:25:45.440 oh fuck. 0:25:46.440 --> 0:25:46.520 Oh. 0:25:46.640 --> 0:25:47.680 Orlando went to go get Luna. 0:25:47.720 --> 0:25:49.119 He's like I can't find her, and I was like, 0:25:49.359 --> 0:25:52.040 it's today, she's an AUDITORIU, I'm doing a lat end 0:25:52.080 --> 0:25:55.679 of the Year BSU fucking ceremony that I've forgotten was 0:25:55.680 --> 0:25:57.600 that day, so I'm like rushing to get there. Of 0:25:57.640 --> 0:25:59.919 course I miss her little speech, but I thankfully like 0:26:00.080 --> 0:26:03.520 Orlando was there, but like she didn't care. 0:26:04.040 --> 0:26:06.760 She absolutely was like okay, whatever. She hasn't mentioned it 0:26:06.800 --> 0:26:07.160 and nothing. 0:26:07.200 --> 0:26:10.320 But I was just like the rushing that I got there, 0:26:10.359 --> 0:26:12.680 and like the oh my god, the lack of responsibility 0:26:12.720 --> 0:26:13.280 that I put in. 0:26:13.280 --> 0:26:14.879 I don't know what I did. I didn'tok at the calendar. 0:26:14.880 --> 0:26:15.280 I don't know. 0:26:15.720 --> 0:26:17.399 But it's because my parents can't show up to a 0:26:17.440 --> 0:26:18.639 lot of the things that I did, you know what 0:26:18.680 --> 0:26:21.560 I mean. And it's like I think we have to 0:26:22.440 --> 0:26:25.480 a recognize like we're going to miss stuff, We're going 0:26:25.520 --> 0:26:28.760 to we're going to miss stuff, We're going to fuck up, 0:26:29.920 --> 0:26:31.840 and like we are human and we were allowed to 0:26:31.880 --> 0:26:35.520 give ourselves grace. And also just like just because that's 0:26:35.840 --> 0:26:38.800 the world we live in is so comparative. We're looking 0:26:38.840 --> 0:26:41.159 at people at social all day. People are putting the 0:26:41.160 --> 0:26:43.639 best of the best of themselves on social, so like 0:26:43.720 --> 0:26:48.040 you're inevitably we're comparing ourselves in every way to everyone, 0:26:48.359 --> 0:26:50.439 and we don't even know the real of everyone's life. 0:26:50.480 --> 0:26:53.040 Like that mom who's telling you that her kids in 0:26:53.080 --> 0:26:57.520 fucking stem research fucking camp, it's probably because her husband's 0:26:57.600 --> 0:26:59.359 rich and she and they have a nanny and a 0:26:59.480 --> 0:27:02.159 driver and dinner's prepared, you know what I mean. Like, 0:27:02.480 --> 0:27:04.320 sometimes you have to meet yourself where you're at. 0:27:04.280 --> 0:27:07.960 Well whenever, because I'm so not active in my daughter's 0:27:08.359 --> 0:27:13.720 like educational mom's circuit at school, Like I'm definitely active 0:27:13.720 --> 0:27:18.119 in my daughter's education. But luckily my daughter, she is 0:27:18.160 --> 0:27:21.840 an excellent student. She has B plus do A pluses, 0:27:22.119 --> 0:27:24.920 and I can't even take responsibility for it. She's doing 0:27:24.960 --> 0:27:28.199 it on her own. But whenever I do go to 0:27:28.240 --> 0:27:30.560 the school, which is so rare because some of these 0:27:30.560 --> 0:27:33.800 moms are still walking their fucking kids in every day 0:27:34.280 --> 0:27:36.520 in fifth grade, I'm like, my mom, I don't even 0:27:36.600 --> 0:27:39.359 remember my The last time I remember my mom walking 0:27:39.359 --> 0:27:42.840 me into school was like kindergarten, and I cried because 0:27:42.880 --> 0:27:44.960 she left me because you know, you're going to a 0:27:45.000 --> 0:27:47.159 new school. And that was the last time I can 0:27:47.240 --> 0:27:49.240 ever remember my mom walking me into school. I don't 0:27:49.240 --> 0:27:51.639 think my mom ever walked me into school. She dropped 0:27:51.640 --> 0:27:54.399 me off, and that was fine. Like, I'm not fucked 0:27:54.440 --> 0:27:56.800 up because my mom didn't walk me into school. But 0:27:56.840 --> 0:27:59.160 these parents are walking their kids into school every single day, 0:27:59.160 --> 0:28:01.600 which is fine if that's your tea cool. I did 0:28:01.600 --> 0:28:03.960 it for the first like one to the third grade, 0:28:04.000 --> 0:28:05.520 and then after a while I didn't even want me 0:28:05.520 --> 0:28:07.560 to fucking walk her into school anymore. But whenever I 0:28:07.600 --> 0:28:09.879 do go on campus, I notice, and this is why 0:28:09.960 --> 0:28:12.399 I really don't like going on that campus, and I 0:28:12.520 --> 0:28:14.400 just like kind of stay away from all the moms there. 0:28:15.560 --> 0:28:17.240 They're always like, oh, Erica. 0:28:18.040 --> 0:28:18.800 Where have you been. 0:28:19.080 --> 0:28:20.639 It's been so long we haven't seen you. 0:28:21.400 --> 0:28:21.720 Girl. 0:28:22.480 --> 0:28:23.240 Shut the fuck up? 0:28:23.600 --> 0:28:24.120 Have you talked? 0:28:24.280 --> 0:28:26.439 Would you say this to Freddy? Would you say this 0:28:26.520 --> 0:28:30.280 to my baby daddy, who literally you haven't seen at all. No, 0:28:30.400 --> 0:28:32.440 you're gonna be like, oh hey, God, Like no, It's 0:28:32.480 --> 0:28:35.520 like they treat the men differently. They're like, oh, what'd. 0:28:35.240 --> 0:28:35.639 You been doing. 0:28:35.720 --> 0:28:38.560 You've been on tour. That's so cool. Great, It's like, oh, 0:28:38.600 --> 0:28:40.680 where have you been Erica? And maybe I'm projecting, because 0:28:40.680 --> 0:28:44.120 maybe this is my own shame, but I'm just tired. 0:28:44.160 --> 0:28:47.760 Please stop asking moms where they've been. Please stop asking 0:28:47.800 --> 0:28:49.760 moms where they've been, because we've been there, We're there. 0:28:49.920 --> 0:28:52.080 I'm gonna start saying a ridiculous thing like, oh, I 0:28:52.120 --> 0:28:54.520 was incarcerated for a little bit. 0:28:54.560 --> 0:28:55.360 I'm back now though. 0:28:55.760 --> 0:28:57.240 Oh yeah, I had a drug problem, but you know, 0:28:57.280 --> 0:28:57.719 I'm good now. 0:28:57.800 --> 0:28:58.400 I was in rehab. 0:28:58.480 --> 0:28:59.920 You want your kids to come over this weekend. 0:29:01.320 --> 0:29:02.040 It's been a long. 0:29:01.880 --> 0:29:03.000 Time since we've had a play date. 0:29:03.960 --> 0:29:05.000 I oh, that's another thing. 0:29:05.040 --> 0:29:06.960 Leuna keeps asking to have a play date with this 0:29:07.000 --> 0:29:08.880 one friend and like, I'll when she calls it, can 0:29:08.920 --> 0:29:10.120 she go over there? I'll say yeah, cause I know 0:29:10.200 --> 0:29:11.880 the mom. But like she's like, can she come over 0:29:12.040 --> 0:29:13.120 my not today? 0:29:13.600 --> 0:29:15.000 Not today? We need to plan this. 0:29:15.720 --> 0:29:17.880 I just I'm not prepared for kids that are not 0:29:17.960 --> 0:29:19.400 my friend's kids to come over. 0:29:19.640 --> 0:29:21.400 I like, I gotta clean up my smokes. 0:29:21.560 --> 0:29:24.360 I got it, Like I gotta no, And I feel 0:29:24.400 --> 0:29:27.400 kind of guilty about that, and I'm also feeling I 0:29:27.400 --> 0:29:29.720 feel like also the guilt, like the ang, the anxiety, 0:29:29.760 --> 0:29:32.120 and the gil also stems from like recognizing that time 0:29:32.200 --> 0:29:34.520 is going by really fast and the kids are about 0:29:34.560 --> 0:29:37.080 to like culminate to sixth grade to middle school, and 0:29:37.080 --> 0:29:39.160 I'm like, oh my god, it was just fucking kindergarten. 0:29:39.240 --> 0:29:41.560 I was just dropping you off for kindergarten. It was 0:29:41.600 --> 0:29:43.560 just twenty twenty and now we're here. And then like 0:29:43.600 --> 0:29:45.680 a part of that is like have I done enough? 0:29:46.000 --> 0:29:49.000 Have I savored every moment? Does she remember the good moments? 0:29:49.040 --> 0:29:50.200 Are they magical enough? 0:29:50.280 --> 0:29:50.520 You know? 0:29:50.600 --> 0:29:53.320 And it's just like I've also had to like be 0:29:53.440 --> 0:29:56.480 the voice of reason and be like, girl, you're doing 0:29:56.600 --> 0:29:59.960 the best you can and. 0:30:00.080 --> 0:30:03.400 You can't get yesterday back. There is literally no going back. 0:30:03.480 --> 0:30:04.840 So like, what is the point. 0:30:04.640 --> 0:30:07.760 Of beating yourself up or feeling guilt or feeling shame 0:30:07.840 --> 0:30:10.000 about something you literally can't do anything about. 0:30:10.320 --> 0:30:11.719 Like tomorrow, Today's a new day. 0:30:11.760 --> 0:30:14.200 Tomorrow's a new day, and you have the free will 0:30:14.360 --> 0:30:16.600 to like make it do the best that you can, 0:30:16.720 --> 0:30:18.520 even though that's what we've been doing, you know. So 0:30:19.320 --> 0:30:22.880 I think that a part of saying fuck the patriarchy 0:30:23.160 --> 0:30:26.000 is also saying fuck mom guilt because it generally there 0:30:26.040 --> 0:30:29.440 is no dad guilt because they just don't feel the 0:30:29.480 --> 0:30:33.240 weight of the perfectionism like mothers do being the sole 0:30:33.280 --> 0:30:36.040 provider of joy and activities. 0:30:35.640 --> 0:30:36.920 And fucking summer fun. 0:30:37.640 --> 0:30:40.720 I'm not a fucking camp counselor, so why the fuck 0:30:41.280 --> 0:30:44.040 would I be the source of all joy and fun 0:30:44.080 --> 0:30:47.640 in summer magic? Like NIGGI take these kids to the pool, right, 0:30:47.880 --> 0:30:49.200 So it's just you know. 0:30:49.840 --> 0:30:52.400 I mean, I think I think that dads do experience guilt, 0:30:52.480 --> 0:30:54.800 it's just not hung over their head in the same 0:30:54.800 --> 0:30:57.080 way that it is for moms. Like I do think 0:30:57.160 --> 0:30:59.280 that dads feel bad about missing things. I do think 0:30:59.320 --> 0:31:01.840 that dads have of you know, they're still parents that 0:31:01.880 --> 0:31:05.840 love their children. But generally there's not like Susie fucking 0:31:05.920 --> 0:31:08.640 waiting at pickup asking where the fuck you've been dad, 0:31:09.160 --> 0:31:11.480 or like or or there's not a lot of I 0:31:11.520 --> 0:31:15.400 guess even just propaganda in social media and just out 0:31:15.400 --> 0:31:18.080 there that's making dads feel bad for not being there. 0:31:18.160 --> 0:31:21.520 It's generally mothers that are exhausted and making and and 0:31:21.560 --> 0:31:24.560 being made to be the source of joy and fun, 0:31:24.840 --> 0:31:27.239 where dad's like won the source of money, So how 0:31:27.240 --> 0:31:28.960 about that? And it's like, well that's that's a narrative 0:31:28.960 --> 0:31:31.320 that doesn't work anymore at this point. It's not because 0:31:31.320 --> 0:31:33.560 we're all working, not all of us, but most of 0:31:33.640 --> 0:31:35.920 us are working too, So actually we have to be 0:31:35.920 --> 0:31:37.880 the source of joy. We have to be the source 0:31:37.920 --> 0:31:40.240 of fun, and we also have to be the source 0:31:40.280 --> 0:31:42.240 of income as well, Like are you fucking. 0:31:42.080 --> 0:31:44.240 Hiding and stability and meals. 0:31:43.960 --> 0:31:44.760 And you want to fuck me? 0:31:45.320 --> 0:31:48.240 Okay, well no, we're gonna have to pick something. 0:31:50.120 --> 0:31:52.840 So I'm just I'm just encouraging us this summer to 0:31:52.960 --> 0:31:55.840 really try to just say fuck mom, guilt and just 0:31:55.880 --> 0:31:58.720 be done with it, because like literally, motherhood is all about, 0:31:58.840 --> 0:32:02.200 is about just trading things off. Like I have, I'm 0:32:02.360 --> 0:32:04.760 a great outsourcer. I'm a outsourced the fuck out of 0:32:04.800 --> 0:32:07.000 everything if I can. The other day, I was like, 0:32:07.040 --> 0:32:08.320 I need to go to the grocery store and I 0:32:08.360 --> 0:32:09.680 was feel like, I need to go there and pick 0:32:09.760 --> 0:32:12.640 my own vegetables because they don't know how to pick 0:32:12.680 --> 0:32:14.400 the vegetables and did it and I was and I 0:32:14.440 --> 0:32:16.120 was like, but I just need the fucking toilet paper, 0:32:16.120 --> 0:32:18.720 I need certain shit. So I just ordered my paid 0:32:18.840 --> 0:32:21.240 twenty dollars extra delivery fee. And granted I realized it's 0:32:21.240 --> 0:32:26.040 not everyone's reality, but it saved me three hours of 0:32:26.160 --> 0:32:28.440 time or two hours of time that I don't have 0:32:28.480 --> 0:32:29.960 to do that and now it's done and I can 0:32:29.960 --> 0:32:32.600 do something else. So it's like I think, as women 0:32:32.640 --> 0:32:34.600 and moms, like we have to get we have to 0:32:34.600 --> 0:32:39.320 be okay with releasing the responsibility of having to literally 0:32:39.360 --> 0:32:43.480 do everything on our checklist ourselves, like ask a friend, 0:32:44.080 --> 0:32:49.840 ask a family member, Uber eats Postmates, like there's just 0:32:50.920 --> 0:32:51.760 plan ahead. 0:32:52.160 --> 0:32:53.920 Also, I think we need to do like more like 0:32:55.320 --> 0:32:58.240 community stuff like can you cooked in her own Mondays? 0:32:58.280 --> 0:33:00.280 And then I'll cook dinner on Tuesdays and we can 0:33:00.320 --> 0:33:01.480 come over there and then you can. 0:33:01.400 --> 0:33:01.960 Go over here. 0:33:02.560 --> 0:33:04.520 No true, like how why can't we trained? Why do 0:33:04.560 --> 0:33:06.480 we all have to do it every day separately? That 0:33:06.520 --> 0:33:09.040 doesn't make any sense. We need to come together. I 0:33:09.040 --> 0:33:10.600 wish I had more friends who live closer to me, 0:33:10.640 --> 0:33:13.840 because I'll make I'll make Wednesday dinner's just Mondays are 0:33:13.840 --> 0:33:16.080 hard to get to, Like I need to be settled 0:33:16.080 --> 0:33:18.080 into my grocery list. I need to make time to 0:33:18.120 --> 0:33:21.240 go and then I'll feed everyone on Wednesday. But who's 0:33:21.240 --> 0:33:24.040 gonna fucking cook on Tuesday Monday. We need to like 0:33:24.160 --> 0:33:25.840 do more community activities. 0:33:25.920 --> 0:33:32.120 I agree. I agree. One of the what I was 0:33:32.120 --> 0:33:34.400 gonna say, one of the things that I was thinking about. 0:33:34.400 --> 0:33:37.320 We were talking when we were discussing mom Guild and 0:33:37.720 --> 0:33:39.920 what we're going to talk about, is we talked about 0:33:39.920 --> 0:33:43.000 like creating like one magical moment a week for our children, 0:33:43.040 --> 0:33:46.360 but like also like for your fucking self too, because 0:33:46.560 --> 0:33:49.880 like it's so hard for you to be present in 0:33:49.960 --> 0:33:52.720 that magical moment with your kid if you're burnt out 0:33:52.760 --> 0:33:56.520 and tired, right, Like, if you're burnt out, overstimulated, Like 0:33:57.160 --> 0:34:00.000 sometimes the magical moment is like shutting the fuck up 0:34:00.120 --> 0:34:02.959 and not doing anything, getting off your fucking phone. Like 0:34:03.000 --> 0:34:05.440 people are always saying they're overstimulated, but they're literally doing 0:34:05.480 --> 0:34:08.440 everything they can to continue to be over stimulated, you know. 0:34:08.680 --> 0:34:10.719 And I just feel like we have to like take 0:34:10.760 --> 0:34:13.480 us a zoom out of our life and see what 0:34:13.600 --> 0:34:15.560 are the things in our lives that are not actually 0:34:15.640 --> 0:34:19.000 contributing to being a more present parents that I don't 0:34:19.000 --> 0:34:21.080 have mom gilt. What are the things that have to go? 0:34:21.239 --> 0:34:23.319 What are the things that are not important anymore? Do 0:34:23.400 --> 0:34:27.160 I need to fucking cut you know, my kids watermelons 0:34:27.160 --> 0:34:29.239 and stars probably the fuck not. You know, like I 0:34:29.239 --> 0:34:31.160 don't know if like he or she gives a fuck 0:34:31.160 --> 0:34:33.120 about that shit. Actually I know they don't give a 0:34:33.120 --> 0:34:35.600 fuck about that shitcause you're eating and and then then 0:34:35.760 --> 0:34:38.239 like you get the perfect band two box back and 0:34:38.520 --> 0:34:41.000 your kid only ate four or two things out of 0:34:41.000 --> 0:34:42.919 the box, And yeah, bitch, you spent about twenty minutes 0:34:42.920 --> 0:34:44.640 cutting those fucking watermelons, and you were late and you 0:34:44.640 --> 0:34:48.840 were stressed out all day today. So it's like eliminating 0:34:49.080 --> 0:34:53.840 the busy work, eliminating like the tiny details, like I 0:34:53.880 --> 0:34:57.520 don't have time for the tiny details in surrenderhood. 0:34:56.920 --> 0:34:59.000 In surrendering that it's not all gonna be perfect, that 0:34:59.040 --> 0:35:00.720 the kitchen is not always going to be claim bage, 0:35:01.000 --> 0:35:02.840 the dishes are not always going to be done, and 0:35:02.840 --> 0:35:04.360 they needed to learn how to do that shit. And 0:35:04.440 --> 0:35:07.719 that's another thing. I feel like we're kind of we're 0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:11.240 kind of raising weak ass kids, because why the fuck 0:35:11.280 --> 0:35:14.680 are you walking your kid in to fucking school in 0:35:14.719 --> 0:35:16.160 the fifth grade, Like they still. 0:35:16.000 --> 0:35:16.880 Need to be independent. 0:35:16.920 --> 0:35:20.600 And I'm really kind of afraid to see what this 0:35:20.800 --> 0:35:24.920 internet social media error, like, what kind of children we're 0:35:25.040 --> 0:35:27.160 producing Like I feel like in some way there's like 0:35:27.200 --> 0:35:30.919 some badass children with badass moms, and then there's also 0:35:31.040 --> 0:35:34.640 going to be some very soft, stunted children because we 0:35:34.880 --> 0:35:39.440 are like we're fucking up their growth and their expansion 0:35:39.440 --> 0:35:42.440 because they're not playing outside, they don't have social skills, 0:35:42.760 --> 0:35:45.400 and they're being kind of like sometimes the mom guilt 0:35:45.560 --> 0:35:48.759 kind of makes you baby your children because you're trying 0:35:48.760 --> 0:35:51.160 to do so much for them, but in reality, like 0:35:51.239 --> 0:35:54.439 they lack independence when they become adults because you've done 0:35:54.440 --> 0:35:56.799 everything for them, you know, and it's like it's kind 0:35:56.800 --> 0:35:59.000 of fucked up, but kind of like the error that 0:35:59.040 --> 0:36:01.840 we came in where moms and parents were doing a 0:36:01.840 --> 0:36:04.359 lot and some of us were like latchkey kids and 0:36:04.480 --> 0:36:06.600 some of us were a little bit neglected. But look 0:36:06.600 --> 0:36:09.520 at us now, you know, like you do know how 0:36:09.560 --> 0:36:11.160 to do certain shit. Some of them look at Luna. 0:36:11.200 --> 0:36:12.839 I'm my girl. If you don't clean this fucking room, 0:36:12.920 --> 0:36:15.880 like you can't be a dirty woman. And I always 0:36:15.880 --> 0:36:18.239 tell her, like, my job is to prepare you to 0:36:18.280 --> 0:36:20.200 be a woman. My job is not to if I 0:36:20.200 --> 0:36:22.279 can coddle you for the rest of your life, I 0:36:22.320 --> 0:36:25.200 love you, but you will think me later, she went 0:36:25.239 --> 0:36:27.239 to her homegirl's house and she was like, someone says, 0:36:27.400 --> 0:36:29.120 even not a turn on the stove. I'm like, yeah, 0:36:29.160 --> 0:36:31.920 someone says a little slow, So and so wouldn't be 0:36:31.920 --> 0:36:34.680 able to fucking feed herself if her parents fainted and 0:36:34.840 --> 0:36:37.200 something happened, you know what I'm saying, Like, there are 0:36:37.320 --> 0:36:41.160 qualities and skills that sometimes are necessary for kids to learn, 0:36:42.160 --> 0:36:44.200 and that only happens when you neglect him a little bit. 0:36:46.360 --> 0:36:48.560 So my advice to you this summer is do like 0:36:48.600 --> 0:36:49.880 at least a little neglecting. 0:36:50.320 --> 0:36:53.320 Yeah, make neglecting your kids. 0:36:54.200 --> 0:36:58.279 Neglect your kids a little, because then they'll fin for themselves, 0:36:58.480 --> 0:37:02.880 fend for themselves, and it's necessary just a little. Don't 0:37:02.920 --> 0:37:05.319 like starve them and don't beat them or be mean 0:37:05.360 --> 0:37:07.520 to them, just neglect them a little. 0:37:07.719 --> 0:37:07.879 Yeah. 0:37:08.000 --> 0:37:10.799 No, I mean I agree that we are definitely cadd 0:37:10.800 --> 0:37:13.920 all the children too much and that we're just generally 0:37:14.320 --> 0:37:16.520 I think it starts from like when you first become 0:37:16.560 --> 0:37:20.480 a mom, and like you're just like worried all the time, 0:37:20.560 --> 0:37:22.720 and then you just never get out of that zone, 0:37:22.760 --> 0:37:26.240 like you never graduate out of like teaching your children 0:37:26.560 --> 0:37:27.200 how to do shit. 0:37:27.760 --> 0:37:30.520 The worry like that, the worry is like the worry 0:37:30.760 --> 0:37:34.520 is the core of the anxiety, and like, I know 0:37:34.560 --> 0:37:38.080 we're on it. I really think everybody is has anxious, 0:37:38.080 --> 0:37:40.000 Like it's anxious. I've talked to so many people like 0:37:40.040 --> 0:37:41.640 I have anxiety, have anxiety, have anxiety. 0:37:41.640 --> 0:37:43.520 I'm like, I have anxiety. You have anxiety. 0:37:44.000 --> 0:37:46.360 The state of the world and the amount of channels 0:37:46.360 --> 0:37:47.600 are on I know, I say this all the time, 0:37:47.800 --> 0:37:50.520 is like not human. We're not supposed to be in 0:37:51.120 --> 0:37:54.799 thousands of people's lives simultaneously all day. So it's just 0:37:54.840 --> 0:37:56.279 like you have to turn off the phone, which I'm 0:37:56.320 --> 0:37:58.480 realizing that that's the source of my anxiety, just the 0:37:58.560 --> 0:38:05.360 constant like the constant exposure and also just like everything 0:38:05.440 --> 0:38:10.239 is just fine. Everything's gonna be okay. The kid has 0:38:10.280 --> 0:38:13.840 eaten something, you know, the kid will be Everything's fine. 0:38:13.880 --> 0:38:16.480 And I think sometimes we forget that. We get caught 0:38:16.520 --> 0:38:18.520 up in the little things and the comparison and the 0:38:18.560 --> 0:38:24.200 internet personas and the influencers. Even today, before we were 0:38:24.239 --> 0:38:28.400 talking about this episode, and we're talking about like the summer, 0:38:28.440 --> 0:38:30.080 and I'm like, I'm like, well, what are we gonna 0:38:30.080 --> 0:38:32.040 do this summer with our kids? With the summer, because 0:38:32.040 --> 0:38:34.320 we were talking about like these free programs at museums 0:38:34.400 --> 0:38:37.640 and out outdoor activities and free shit, and things are 0:38:37.680 --> 0:38:40.960 not very expensive, like the driving or a picnic, a 0:38:41.000 --> 0:38:43.839 beach day, rollerblading, And she and Eric is like, well, 0:38:43.840 --> 0:38:45.399 we're going to be in Costa Rica for a month 0:38:45.440 --> 0:38:49.000 with our kids. That's not very relatable. It's not It's 0:38:49.000 --> 0:38:51.920 not And I was like, are we not relatable anymore? No? 0:38:52.080 --> 0:38:54.440 I think, I mean, listen, I think that sh it 0:38:54.480 --> 0:38:58.680 is hard to I think that with motherhood, Like there's 0:38:58.719 --> 0:39:01.839 certain things that no matter how much money you have 0:39:02.000 --> 0:39:03.640 or success you have, you just don't get to skip 0:39:03.680 --> 0:39:05.840 or bypass that it doesn't really matter, even like like 0:39:05.880 --> 0:39:09.000 the mom you'll like the shame. I'm it's not all relatable. 0:39:09.000 --> 0:39:11.000 I've worked, I've worked, and you've worked really hard to 0:39:11.000 --> 0:39:13.840 provide a life, a lifestyle for the children, for our 0:39:13.920 --> 0:39:17.600 kids and what we also deserve, so part of them 0:39:17.640 --> 0:39:19.279 going to Costa Rica. And that's what I was saying, 0:39:19.280 --> 0:39:21.680 like creating these magical moments not just for your children, 0:39:21.719 --> 0:39:24.480 but for yourself. A lot of the magical moments that 0:39:24.520 --> 0:39:26.839 I decide to choose for Iri are also for me too, 0:39:27.360 --> 0:39:30.840 Like who I mean? But because and I you know, 0:39:30.880 --> 0:39:33.000 what I and I realized that I think I get 0:39:33.040 --> 0:39:35.480 some of this for sure from my mom because my 0:39:35.600 --> 0:39:38.640 mom is a lover of luxury things, and so this 0:39:38.680 --> 0:39:41.520 is something that I've had to combat in my own 0:39:41.560 --> 0:39:43.719 life too, around like is this really important or is 0:39:43.760 --> 0:39:45.040 this like my mom? 0:39:45.480 --> 0:39:45.680 You know? 0:39:46.200 --> 0:39:49.120 But then I also like I give her her kudos 0:39:49.160 --> 0:39:53.400 for like providing opportunities and exposure because of things that 0:39:53.440 --> 0:39:56.640 she wanted to do, Like she wanted to go fucking 0:39:56.680 --> 0:39:58.960 skiing and do this thing, and then she brought me 0:39:59.000 --> 0:40:01.360 along and it enriched my lif life. She wanted to 0:40:01.400 --> 0:40:04.160 go trat go to the Korean Spa and she couldn't 0:40:04.160 --> 0:40:06.279 get a nanny, and so she brought me and it's 0:40:06.360 --> 0:40:08.680 enriched my life. And like these are little things that 0:40:08.719 --> 0:40:10.480 some people were like, well that's you know, that's not 0:40:10.960 --> 0:40:14.319 that's that's not relatable or whatever. But to me, it's 0:40:14.360 --> 0:40:17.480 like my mom created magic moments for herself as a 0:40:17.520 --> 0:40:19.160 single mother and included. 0:40:18.760 --> 0:40:19.520 Me in them. 0:40:19.640 --> 0:40:21.440 And now I feel like I have the opportunity to 0:40:21.440 --> 0:40:23.960 do that with my child and not neglect myself and 0:40:24.040 --> 0:40:26.200 having to separate the magic moments because sometimes you do, 0:40:26.360 --> 0:40:28.520 like sometimes I go in to the magic moments because 0:40:28.520 --> 0:40:30.120 we were talking about that in the room, like what 0:40:30.120 --> 0:40:32.399 are these in the summertime. It's like our kids are 0:40:32.400 --> 0:40:33.600 looking to finally summer. 0:40:33.680 --> 0:40:35.000 What are we doing? You know? 0:40:35.640 --> 0:40:37.959 Even spring break? Irie was like what are we doing? 0:40:37.960 --> 0:40:40.399 And my daughter goes to super bougie ass school where 0:40:40.400 --> 0:40:43.960 they're going to fucking Greece and they're going on for bitch, 0:40:44.280 --> 0:40:47.279 just whatever, No, two weeks I've spoke two weeks over 0:40:47.280 --> 0:40:51.480 here and this this this break, we didn't do anything 0:40:51.840 --> 0:40:54.319 and it was perfectly fine. And I was over here 0:40:54.360 --> 0:40:55.920 a little bit. I was like trying to figure something out, 0:40:55.920 --> 0:40:57.520 and I was like, I'm not stressing out about this shit. 0:40:57.560 --> 0:40:59.960 I got other shit to worry about. Like I'm not. 0:41:00.239 --> 0:41:02.440 I'm sorry, I can't. I couldn't give you your magical 0:41:02.480 --> 0:41:05.040 fucking fucking spring break. But you still had a good 0:41:05.080 --> 0:41:06.160 time and you figured it out. 0:41:06.520 --> 0:41:08.720 Once upon a time, magical was the slip and slide 0:41:08.719 --> 0:41:11.920 in the backyard. Yeah, the bike around the neighborhood. So 0:41:12.239 --> 0:41:16.399 let's like not pretend, let's not keep up with the Kardashians. 0:41:17.080 --> 0:41:20.480 Literally, And then I had this I had this mom 0:41:20.600 --> 0:41:23.520 guilt moment because I was in New York like two 0:41:23.520 --> 0:41:29.120 weeks ago and Iri was with uh Rory, my stepdad, 0:41:29.680 --> 0:41:32.799 and he was basically like he was like the dad. 0:41:33.640 --> 0:41:36.520 So and so she wanted to go over and have 0:41:36.600 --> 0:41:38.600 a She wanted to go over to her friend's house 0:41:39.040 --> 0:41:41.399 from school. Who I don't. I think she's a little 0:41:41.400 --> 0:41:45.200 bitch and it's another one, okay, and like she's told 0:41:45.200 --> 0:41:47.160 me like meet like things about her. But you know, 0:41:47.280 --> 0:41:49.399 like these kids, like they're like they're friends one moment, 0:41:49.440 --> 0:41:50.920 they're not friends the next moment. I mean me too. 0:41:50.920 --> 0:41:53.360 I remember, like, you know, having a bea like the 0:41:53.440 --> 0:41:55.920 End of the World beef one week before, and then 0:41:55.960 --> 0:41:57.680 like we're best friends the next week. And my mom's like, 0:41:57.760 --> 0:42:00.000 what are you talking about? I thought you hated her. No, no, 0:42:00.000 --> 0:42:02.640 we're fine now. So that's probably what's going on with 0:42:02.640 --> 0:42:04.239 this little girl. But I also know, like there's some 0:42:04.239 --> 0:42:07.239 backstories to this little girl that not appropriate to be 0:42:07.239 --> 0:42:10.319 sharing here. But so I let her go to the 0:42:10.360 --> 0:42:13.120 house and I was like, Okay, fine, you can go. 0:42:13.560 --> 0:42:16.000 But then I knew the next call was mom, can 0:42:16.040 --> 0:42:19.960 I spend the night? And I was like, the more 0:42:20.000 --> 0:42:23.160 convenient thing would have been say yes, but I was like, 0:42:23.239 --> 0:42:26.799 you know what, I just remember how much how much 0:42:26.880 --> 0:42:30.760 fuck should happened in the sleepover. How many things were said, 0:42:30.960 --> 0:42:33.759 like the late hours for the kids is just like 0:42:33.800 --> 0:42:38.360 a late adults, you know. And I was like no, 0:42:38.600 --> 0:42:40.400 and she wanted me to. She was like why I 0:42:40.400 --> 0:42:42.720 don't understand, and I couldn't be like because your friend's 0:42:42.719 --> 0:42:45.920 a little bitch and I don't trust her. And I 0:42:45.960 --> 0:42:47.960 was like, Rory, go get her. You gotta go get her, 0:42:47.960 --> 0:42:49.120 because you know what, you don't want to go get 0:42:49.120 --> 0:42:51.359 her because I was out of town. I was out 0:42:51.400 --> 0:42:54.799 of town, like bitch. I was like, you gotta go 0:42:54.800 --> 0:42:57.319 get her. And she kept calling me over and over 0:42:57.440 --> 0:43:00.759 like wanting to understand concrete answers. You're gonna have to learn, 0:43:00.840 --> 0:43:02.720 don't do that in front of people as to why, 0:43:02.880 --> 0:43:03.319 and I was. 0:43:03.280 --> 0:43:05.520 Like, not concrete answers. And it was just like I 0:43:05.600 --> 0:43:05.960 just said. 0:43:05.800 --> 0:43:08.560 Because I don't want you to, because you're not that's 0:43:09.160 --> 0:43:11.160 I remember that. I was like, I don't know her. 0:43:11.520 --> 0:43:13.600 I don't know her like that. I don't know like 0:43:13.800 --> 0:43:15.759 she had spent her she had spent the night once before, 0:43:15.800 --> 0:43:17.399 and that's what she was using as a reference point, 0:43:17.440 --> 0:43:19.439 like I spent the night here one time, and which 0:43:19.520 --> 0:43:24.600 it's true. She's she spent the night there, like one 0:43:24.600 --> 0:43:27.759 time last year or something. But then I had I 0:43:27.840 --> 0:43:29.160 hung up the phone and I was with Ashley, and 0:43:29.160 --> 0:43:30.799 I was like, I feel guilty, Like should I let 0:43:30.840 --> 0:43:32.799 it happen? Like am I? And I was like, no, 0:43:32.840 --> 0:43:35.000 it's my job to protect her. I can't fucking not 0:43:35.040 --> 0:43:36.360 that I don't even don't even know what I'm protecting 0:43:36.360 --> 0:43:40.160 her from really, but it's just my intuition, right, So 0:43:40.239 --> 0:43:42.360 like even like that kind of mom guilts of like 0:43:42.440 --> 0:43:45.000 not letting your kid get their way or like not 0:43:45.239 --> 0:43:48.640 like his and even knowing like it would be easier 0:43:48.640 --> 0:43:51.040 for her to stay there, you know, but like she 0:43:51.080 --> 0:43:54.799 was like she was like making her her her like 0:43:54.880 --> 0:43:57.200 play for like why this was easier because they're going 0:43:57.239 --> 0:43:58.600 to the fair tomorrow and I can just go with 0:43:58.640 --> 0:44:00.400 them tomorrow and it'd be so much easier, ye d D. 0:44:01.080 --> 0:44:02.880 Papa can drop off my clothes. I'm like, if Papa's 0:44:02.920 --> 0:44:04.719 dropping off your clothes, he's picking you the fuck up, 0:44:05.080 --> 0:44:06.200 so you might as well just go home. 0:44:08.080 --> 0:44:12.120 Then it's like how You're like, the guilt can easily 0:44:12.280 --> 0:44:15.200 be like spoiling. I mean like the guilt because sometimes 0:44:15.400 --> 0:44:17.080 I do stuff and I'm like, am I too? Chill 0:44:17.160 --> 0:44:19.160 I'm like, everything you ask for, you get, Like every 0:44:19.160 --> 0:44:21.279 time you're asking for some shit, I'm like, okay. The 0:44:21.320 --> 0:44:22.920 other day she was like, can I get Would I 0:44:22.960 --> 0:44:24.719 be able to get my nose pierced in junior high? 0:44:24.719 --> 0:44:26.800 And I was like maybe, And I'm like, my mom. 0:44:26.600 --> 0:44:28.960 Would never maybe that. She'd be like hell no. And 0:44:29.000 --> 0:44:30.719 I'm like, she's like can I put on makeup? I'm 0:44:30.760 --> 0:44:31.720 like okay. 0:44:32.480 --> 0:44:34.279 Or I'm like she's like, I have to wear I 0:44:34.280 --> 0:44:36.759 can't wear that dress to school because it says it's 0:44:36.800 --> 0:44:39.360 spaghetti shop. I said, Luna, it is three weeks before school. 0:44:39.440 --> 0:44:42.240 Lets out come on, just wear the spaghetti straps. 0:44:42.480 --> 0:44:44.319 Like what are they gonna do? I'm like, is this 0:44:44.360 --> 0:44:45.040 a good perit? 0:44:45.640 --> 0:44:47.440 I re asked me if she could get a second 0:44:47.480 --> 0:44:50.759 hole piercing, and who was with me? Someone was like 0:44:50.920 --> 0:44:51.719 I think it was Sebastian. 0:44:51.719 --> 0:44:52.600 He was like hell now. 0:44:52.920 --> 0:44:55.319 And I was like, first of all, shut the fuck up. 0:44:55.719 --> 0:44:57.640 You're not the parent. And I was like that's fine, 0:44:57.640 --> 0:45:00.719 and he was like, oh well because and I was like, 0:45:00.800 --> 0:45:02.480 what does it matter if she has a second hole 0:45:02.480 --> 0:45:02.959 in her ear? 0:45:03.120 --> 0:45:05.200 But remember what a big deal that was? Like my 0:45:05.280 --> 0:45:06.799 parents didn't let me get a second hole. I don't 0:45:06.800 --> 0:45:07.600 remember when I got. 0:45:07.680 --> 0:45:09.319 My mom didn't let me get a belly button ring, 0:45:09.320 --> 0:45:11.960 and he got it anyway. I pierced in my motherfuck itself. 0:45:12.200 --> 0:45:13.880 And then I went and got it done at the 0:45:13.920 --> 0:45:16.520 fucking down the street over here on Ventura Boulevard where 0:45:16.520 --> 0:45:20.240 they're piercing underage girls, and I got my belly button ring. Okay, 0:45:20.320 --> 0:45:22.759 So it's like, yeah, I mean there's a there's I 0:45:22.760 --> 0:45:25.360 think there's a line between like being too cool, but 0:45:25.360 --> 0:45:29.200 then there's also a line of like acknowledging and remembering 0:45:29.440 --> 0:45:32.279 how you were because I thought, generally, I think that 0:45:32.440 --> 0:45:34.440 is the that is the biggest mistake of parents is 0:45:34.520 --> 0:45:37.759 literally you just override what you know about being a 0:45:37.840 --> 0:45:40.319 child because now you're a parent and you're like, fuck 0:45:40.360 --> 0:45:42.080 all that. And it's like, no, it can't be. Fuck 0:45:42.120 --> 0:45:45.040 all that because that's still their reality and that still exists, 0:45:45.120 --> 0:45:47.000 and now your kid is gonna lie to you and 0:45:47.040 --> 0:45:50.120 go get their nipples pierced at age thirteen or whatever 0:45:50.120 --> 0:45:50.480 the fuck. 0:45:50.600 --> 0:45:51.200 I did that too. 0:45:51.280 --> 0:45:53.480 I got my nipples pears at like fifteen. I got 0:45:53.480 --> 0:45:56.440 a huge ass tattoo on my fucking thigh, I on 0:45:56.480 --> 0:46:00.359 my hip. I was sixteen, like I was underage, button 0:46:00.400 --> 0:46:05.000 piers underage two, three tattoos underage, and also every fucking 0:46:05.080 --> 0:46:08.080 chance those motherfuckers let me sleep somewhere else, I put 0:46:08.160 --> 0:46:11.600 so much eyeshadow and make up on because they should 0:46:11.600 --> 0:46:12.600 never let me, Like if I were. 0:46:12.520 --> 0:46:14.440 A glitter, it was like, you're being fast. 0:46:15.000 --> 0:46:17.600 So then I was just like a little fucking mabeling 0:46:17.680 --> 0:46:20.120 queen on like at my friend's house. And it's just like, 0:46:20.200 --> 0:46:22.680 I don't have time to be fighting over fucking makeup 0:46:22.680 --> 0:46:23.400 and mascara. 0:46:23.640 --> 0:46:24.520 Like you're a little woman. 0:46:24.840 --> 0:46:26.960 You're growing up into your body, like you're growing up 0:46:27.160 --> 0:46:29.759 and like you're you're developing, and it's just like, I'm 0:46:29.760 --> 0:46:31.600 gonna let you entertain certain shit. I might let you 0:46:31.600 --> 0:46:34.319 get a tattoo before you're fucking twenty five, No, because 0:46:34.320 --> 0:46:36.239 you're gonna hate it by the time you're thirty, but 0:46:36.360 --> 0:46:36.640 you're not. 0:46:36.640 --> 0:46:38.200 Gonna get it. A let her get a tattoo before 0:46:38.200 --> 0:46:40.080 she's twenty five, Like you're gonna. 0:46:39.840 --> 0:46:42.200 Have you go control her after I don't know. 0:46:42.200 --> 0:46:44.040 I don't have plans for that, but I'm gonna talk 0:46:44.080 --> 0:46:45.520 to her like you're gonna fucking hate it. Look at 0:46:45.520 --> 0:46:47.480 these dembas tattoos. I still need to get covered and 0:46:47.520 --> 0:46:50.319 I'm fucking pushing forty. So I just i'd like pick 0:46:50.360 --> 0:46:53.719 and choose your battles. But also, yeah, like choose your intuition, 0:46:54.040 --> 0:46:57.880 Like your intuition is important, and I think that I 0:46:57.880 --> 0:47:00.520 think that's the most important like underlying thing. And also 0:47:00.560 --> 0:47:02.520 I think there's a lot of parents who don't let 0:47:02.560 --> 0:47:06.520 their kids go on sleepovers at all because of their 0:47:06.520 --> 0:47:08.680 own trauma, because they know about other people's trauma, Like 0:47:08.719 --> 0:47:12.400 I do recognize that, you know, A I think kids 0:47:12.560 --> 0:47:14.360 do weird shit to other kids when they have been 0:47:14.400 --> 0:47:16.640 exposed to other kids. Like that's something I experienced for 0:47:16.680 --> 0:47:19.000 a long time that I'm still like recovering from and 0:47:19.000 --> 0:47:19.799 coming to terms with. 0:47:20.080 --> 0:47:21.399 And also parents do reach shit. 0:47:21.800 --> 0:47:24.920 But I also think that like projecting that without just 0:47:24.960 --> 0:47:28.239 sitting with yourself about like your intuition and be like, no, 0:47:28.280 --> 0:47:29.759 you can't sleep over there, No, I don't know those 0:47:29.760 --> 0:47:32.400 parents other men over there, Like I think that also 0:47:32.520 --> 0:47:37.400 projects this weird, untrustworthy everybody's a predator energy onto your 0:47:37.520 --> 0:47:38.239 kid as well. 0:47:38.320 --> 0:47:39.640 So I think there's like a balance. 0:47:39.800 --> 0:47:41.799 And even once she said why can't I I was 0:47:41.960 --> 0:47:44.560 I was very mindful of not saying just because I 0:47:44.600 --> 0:47:47.440 said so, Yeah, because I feel like that leaves your child, 0:47:47.719 --> 0:47:49.560 or I know would leave her and leave your child 0:47:49.640 --> 0:47:53.760 with just like confusion in some ways, like you're. 0:47:53.600 --> 0:47:54.160 Just being mean. 0:47:54.360 --> 0:47:56.520 Yeah, like you're being confusion. And it was just like, 0:47:56.760 --> 0:47:59.160 you know, I explained, and I also didn't want to 0:47:59.200 --> 0:48:02.040 say because I don't think your friend's really your friend 0:48:02.120 --> 0:48:03.960 because then she's never gonna tell me anything about her 0:48:04.000 --> 0:48:07.080 friends exactly. So it's like finding a way to explain 0:48:08.000 --> 0:48:08.680 your choice. 0:48:08.880 --> 0:48:10.759 Like I just don't feel comfortable today. I'm not there, 0:48:11.040 --> 0:48:13.200 you know, like, yeah I did all that, they don't 0:48:13.239 --> 0:48:14.440 care about that, and then she got over it. 0:48:14.520 --> 0:48:15.400 She was fucking fine. 0:48:15.920 --> 0:48:19.280 But but yeah, it's this this parenting shit, bitch. 0:48:19.400 --> 0:48:21.719 It's very like I could traumatize you for the rest 0:48:21.760 --> 0:48:23.920 of your life or you could be mad for twenty 0:48:23.960 --> 0:48:26.360 minutes or you know, like we honestly. 0:48:25.960 --> 0:48:27.200 Are winging it and we don't know. 0:48:27.400 --> 0:48:33.360 But I feel I feel like I'm still new in 0:48:33.400 --> 0:48:35.719 the game and that's crazy, Like I've never had an 0:48:35.760 --> 0:48:38.640 eleven year old. This puberty thing is starting to happen. 0:48:38.719 --> 0:48:39.920 It's a very new. 0:48:41.360 --> 0:48:43.000 It's a whole new. 0:48:42.760 --> 0:48:48.480 World, new fantastic plan of you. 0:48:48.520 --> 0:48:51.920 No one to tell. Let's know, that's us. Where's was 0:48:51.920 --> 0:48:52.160 it toll? 0:48:52.320 --> 0:48:56.239 No, Yeah, I do want to do some fun things 0:48:56.239 --> 0:48:57.880 this summer though, I really want to go camping. 0:48:58.320 --> 0:48:59.600 I really want to. 0:49:00.040 --> 0:49:03.880 And also, moms do shit that you like, Like, sometimes 0:49:03.920 --> 0:49:05.600 you're gonna do shit you don't like, You're gonna have 0:49:05.600 --> 0:49:07.800 to listen to those stupid ass songs and the Dragon, 0:49:08.200 --> 0:49:11.839 the fucking Demon Hunters and the fucking Luda loves all 0:49:11.880 --> 0:49:14.799 of the goddamn musicals and that's not great. But like, 0:49:15.320 --> 0:49:17.360 do things that you both can meet in the middle. 0:49:17.440 --> 0:49:18.880 Like I like to paint, so I'm like, let's go 0:49:18.880 --> 0:49:21.440 get some canvas and go to the park and paint together. 0:49:21.960 --> 0:49:24.160 Makeup and whatever. But I'll let you do my makeup 0:49:24.160 --> 0:49:26.239 because we don't. It's free. I have makeup and I 0:49:26.280 --> 0:49:28.200 got you a couple of palettes. Let's do that. 0:49:28.360 --> 0:49:30.640 Like I think cooking together, the meal needs to get 0:49:30.680 --> 0:49:34.440 made anyway. Sometimes I'll like find recipes on Instagram and 0:49:34.440 --> 0:49:36.359 I'll look. I'll let Luna and I like, Hey, which 0:49:36.400 --> 0:49:38.600 one should we make tonight? Let's try something new so 0:49:38.680 --> 0:49:40.759 that we you know, so that this is something that 0:49:40.760 --> 0:49:44.160 has to get done anyway, Like incorporating the chore with 0:49:44.320 --> 0:49:46.840 the activity so that it doesn't feel like a burden 0:49:46.880 --> 0:49:49.520 on me, and I'm not absolutely fucking miserable. But also 0:49:49.640 --> 0:49:51.759 I realize I'm not gonna always you know, we're not 0:49:51.800 --> 0:49:52.800 gonna have the same interest. 0:49:52.880 --> 0:49:54.279 I'm an adult and your kid. 0:49:54.320 --> 0:49:57.719 But I think that there's a common place, like you know, 0:49:57.760 --> 0:50:00.160 you can come painting each other's nails, and I know 0:50:00.200 --> 0:50:01.680 that's not a boy mom thing. I'm trying to think 0:50:01.719 --> 0:50:04.840 of camping and you know, just taking a walk. 0:50:04.960 --> 0:50:07.080 And I think it's just like you're gonna have to 0:50:07.080 --> 0:50:09.760 sacrifice the times. No, I know you're gonna have sacrifice 0:50:09.800 --> 0:50:13.319 the times. But and I generally, really especially now in 0:50:13.360 --> 0:50:17.279 this phase of my parenting life, because we are we 0:50:17.320 --> 0:50:21.040 have preteens, and things are are moving quickly at this point, 0:50:21.239 --> 0:50:25.040 like like knowing that like these moments are not I'm 0:50:25.080 --> 0:50:27.680 gonna wish that I that I rely wanted me to 0:50:28.000 --> 0:50:31.160 hang out fucking place line with her for twenty minutes 0:50:31.280 --> 0:50:33.640 one day when she can't be bothered with me and 0:50:33.719 --> 0:50:36.440 she's living a fantastic life in college or whatever, you know. 0:50:36.520 --> 0:50:40.000 So it's like trying to remember that when I'm when 0:50:40.040 --> 0:50:43.239 I'm when my first instinct is to say no, no, yeah, 0:50:43.280 --> 0:50:44.759 not right now. I don't feel like it. 0:50:45.480 --> 0:50:48.320 And it's also like I realize as I like reflect 0:50:48.360 --> 0:50:52.319 on our journey in Good Moms and like not having 0:50:52.400 --> 0:50:54.960 guilt over good moms, but like so much of our 0:50:55.000 --> 0:50:58.640 lives have been good mom forward, like a big bulk 0:50:58.719 --> 0:51:03.080 of our child's like childhood is like this, you know, 0:51:03.160 --> 0:51:05.560 and not in this version the biggest part of the 0:51:05.600 --> 0:51:06.359 biggest part of it. 0:51:06.400 --> 0:51:08.880 And I'm like, life, really, I know, really is us 0:51:08.880 --> 0:51:11.640 being good mom's bad choices? Yeah, And I'm proud of that. 0:51:11.800 --> 0:51:14.040 And like I realized when I have another kid, this 0:51:14.200 --> 0:51:16.600 other kid is gonna have a whole other mother because 0:51:16.960 --> 0:51:19.480 she saw me like really be in the in the 0:51:19.560 --> 0:51:23.360 fucking you know, the building of something, the creating of something. 0:51:23.680 --> 0:51:25.920 But also like I'm like, oh my god, I like 0:51:25.960 --> 0:51:28.120 I can't get that time back, and like I don't 0:51:28.200 --> 0:51:30.000 regret any of it, and I feel like this is 0:51:30.000 --> 0:51:35.920 my purpose. But I'm also like I regret some of it, yeah, little. 0:51:35.719 --> 0:51:38.400 Bit I do. Like they regret some of it. I regret. 0:51:38.560 --> 0:51:40.799 I don't regret it because I think I think this 0:51:40.840 --> 0:51:43.400 has also been our child and I think ultimately they 0:51:43.600 --> 0:51:47.319 they've seen us, they've witnessed us do something, and they 0:51:47.440 --> 0:51:50.600 recognize what we've contributed. Like, I think they think what 0:51:50.640 --> 0:51:52.120 we've done is a big deal. I think they're proud 0:51:52.160 --> 0:51:55.600 of us. But I also feel like in this chapter 0:51:55.800 --> 0:51:58.520 of my life, as I reflect on the amount of 0:51:59.080 --> 0:52:00.160 energy and time we've. 0:52:00.080 --> 0:52:02.320 Poured into this, I'm just like. 0:52:04.520 --> 0:52:08.680 A as she's getting bigger, I'm like, wow, I'm really 0:52:08.719 --> 0:52:11.160 realizing how much I poured into this thing, and not 0:52:11.200 --> 0:52:14.040 like my not not my child, but like where the 0:52:14.080 --> 0:52:17.520 timer is distributed and like where there was like it 0:52:17.560 --> 0:52:20.280 could have maybe been more mom focused, But the truth 0:52:20.360 --> 0:52:21.880 is I didn't really have that option. 0:52:21.960 --> 0:52:25.120 The truth is like I had to be I had. 0:52:24.960 --> 0:52:26.880 To grind in order to even be in this position, 0:52:27.320 --> 0:52:29.319 for her to be in a certain position. But I 0:52:29.520 --> 0:52:32.399 just like it's like you really don't get time back. 0:52:32.840 --> 0:52:34.320 And like in the time, like this is something we 0:52:34.400 --> 0:52:37.719 believed in and it was like like we're both we drank, 0:52:37.800 --> 0:52:41.200 slept eight you know, chat fucking good moms because this 0:52:41.280 --> 0:52:44.000 is something we were passionate about. But like it's still 0:52:44.040 --> 0:52:47.000 not a person, it's still not our child, and so 0:52:47.200 --> 0:52:50.319 like I find myself like grappling with that. 0:52:50.560 --> 0:52:50.799 Now. 0:52:51.600 --> 0:52:54.359 Yeah, maybe regret is not the word, but that's why 0:52:54.400 --> 0:52:58.080 I think now I have I've shifted my mindset around 0:52:58.760 --> 0:53:02.120 trying to find rebalancing my life. Yeah, and I have. 0:53:02.239 --> 0:53:04.759 I feel like in the last three years, I've rebalanced 0:53:04.800 --> 0:53:07.799 my life a lot, and what in regards to like 0:53:08.400 --> 0:53:12.759 work and irie. Because there were times when she was 0:53:12.800 --> 0:53:14.799 a bait, like not a baby, but yeah, young where 0:53:14.840 --> 0:53:17.680 she would cry to me like I'll never forget when 0:53:17.719 --> 0:53:19.000 I was the one day she told me, like, you 0:53:19.000 --> 0:53:20.200 love Jamala more than you love me. 0:53:20.320 --> 0:53:21.840 Oh no, not Jamila. 0:53:22.160 --> 0:53:24.319 Yeah. She's also said you love your phone more than 0:53:24.360 --> 0:53:26.359 you love me, Like these are things and that's why 0:53:26.560 --> 0:53:29.319 I tell you, like your children will tell you when 0:53:29.320 --> 0:53:32.799 you're fucking up. Generally, your children, whether it's in their 0:53:32.840 --> 0:53:35.360 behavior or if they're brave enough to really speak up 0:53:35.360 --> 0:53:37.399 for her belief, they'll tell you. And then it's on 0:53:37.480 --> 0:53:40.080 you to believe them. Because it's very easy for parents 0:53:40.080 --> 0:53:41.799 to be like, you don't get it, like I have 0:53:41.840 --> 0:53:43.279 to pay bills, da da da, Like. 0:53:43.239 --> 0:53:45.799 You're being manipulative, because kids can't be manipulative too. 0:53:46.080 --> 0:53:48.080 But I think a lot of times parents dismiss what 0:53:48.400 --> 0:53:54.279 like dismiss or miss the message or the opportunity to 0:53:54.400 --> 0:53:57.000 like really listen to their children and make adjustments because 0:53:57.040 --> 0:53:59.640 it's a either not convenient for them at that moment 0:54:00.280 --> 0:54:03.400 or be they try to say, oh, well, you know, 0:54:03.400 --> 0:54:05.400 you don't get it, you don't understand, you're a child. 0:54:05.440 --> 0:54:07.120 And it's true, of course they don't understand. But what 0:54:07.120 --> 0:54:09.000 they do understand is that you are You've been put 0:54:09.040 --> 0:54:11.879 on this earth to guide and care for them, and 0:54:12.160 --> 0:54:15.680 they're feeling left behind in some capacity. And so Irie 0:54:15.760 --> 0:54:18.400 has told me that, and like, I think I ignored 0:54:18.440 --> 0:54:21.719 it for probably around two years. I don't want to 0:54:21.760 --> 0:54:24.719 say ignored it. It was there, but I was like trying, 0:54:24.840 --> 0:54:27.160 she'll think, she'll thank me later, like she'll thank me later, 0:54:27.160 --> 0:54:29.640 she'll thank you later. And there have been and I'm 0:54:29.680 --> 0:54:34.000 seeing it now in her, like in her pretenis the 0:54:34.000 --> 0:54:37.400 the effects of that in ways, like the way that 0:54:37.440 --> 0:54:40.360 she struggles to communicate in her feelings sometimes with me, 0:54:40.640 --> 0:54:42.440 maybe because I wasn't really there for her and her 0:54:42.480 --> 0:54:45.120 feelings at that time. I didn't even know how to 0:54:45.200 --> 0:54:50.600 even be there for Fallent in that way because I'm 0:54:50.640 --> 0:54:53.680 just doing it. I'm a new mom too. There's so 0:54:53.680 --> 0:54:55.759 many moments in my parenting where I'm like, I don't 0:54:55.760 --> 0:54:58.439 have the tools. I literally don't have the tools because 0:54:58.480 --> 0:55:01.480 I didn't. I'm still I'm watching my daughter go through 0:55:01.520 --> 0:55:03.400 things that I went through as a child that I 0:55:03.480 --> 0:55:06.600 still haven't fully reckoned with, and I still don't have 0:55:06.640 --> 0:55:09.040 the tools for those things. And so now it's like 0:55:09.040 --> 0:55:11.120 i'na hurry up and get the tools. And I know, 0:55:11.160 --> 0:55:12.560 like some of it, so much of it is just 0:55:12.600 --> 0:55:16.080 conversation and being honest and talking, but even that sometimes 0:55:16.120 --> 0:55:19.799 can feel paralyzing for me. Maybe not paralyzing, but like, 0:55:20.239 --> 0:55:21.640 I don't know if I'm doing it the right way. 0:55:21.640 --> 0:55:23.480 I don't know if I'm doing it. I'm doing it 0:55:23.560 --> 0:55:25.319 my way, which I guess is the right way because 0:55:25.320 --> 0:55:27.360 I'm her mother and this is we chose one another. 0:55:27.400 --> 0:55:31.240 But I'm pretty direct. I'm pretty I'm a direct person, 0:55:31.280 --> 0:55:33.279 and so sometimes I'm like I could be softer, like 0:55:33.400 --> 0:55:36.000 how do I massage this in? And like as a 0:55:36.040 --> 0:55:38.759 sensitive woman and as a sensitive child who was also 0:55:38.840 --> 0:55:42.480 raised by a very direct woman, that wasn't always great 0:55:42.520 --> 0:55:44.879 for me. Like I remember meeting my mom, like not 0:55:44.880 --> 0:55:48.960 wanting to tell her anything because she was just so like, shoot, 0:55:49.000 --> 0:55:58.920 my mom is like loving, but also like she whatever 0:55:59.040 --> 0:56:04.319 she feels or sees will override how it potentially might 0:56:04.400 --> 0:56:08.399 impact me, so, you know, like she'll be like, why 0:56:08.400 --> 0:56:09.560 do you have that ZiT on your face? You have 0:56:09.600 --> 0:56:11.200 a ZiT on your face, And like, I know I 0:56:11.200 --> 0:56:13.200 have a ZiT on my face. Mom, I have a mirror. 0:56:13.440 --> 0:56:16.200 I can tell and like that, like those little things 0:56:16.200 --> 0:56:17.759 that she thinks are like, I'm just trying to help you, 0:56:18.560 --> 0:56:21.120 is me is adding to like my insecurity or adding 0:56:21.160 --> 0:56:23.680 to like my like my lack of love for myself, 0:56:23.760 --> 0:56:26.279 and like not realizing how those little, tiny like things 0:56:26.320 --> 0:56:28.440 impact her when she's like, I'm just being direct. I'm 0:56:28.440 --> 0:56:31.040 just telling you something that you know. And and I 0:56:31.160 --> 0:56:33.719 realized how I how I do that in my relationships. 0:56:33.719 --> 0:56:35.160 I realize that I do that with my child and 0:56:35.200 --> 0:56:38.720 like I have to redirect because it didn't it didn't 0:56:38.760 --> 0:56:40.239 work well for me. 0:56:40.480 --> 0:56:41.239 But that's all, you know. 0:56:41.320 --> 0:56:43.920 So that's the kind of what you've you've inherited, like 0:56:43.960 --> 0:56:45.360 that type style of communication. 0:56:45.560 --> 0:56:48.640 Yeah, yeah, So I think it's just I think mothering 0:56:48.719 --> 0:56:52.560 and motherhood and parenting just in general, Like it's the 0:56:52.560 --> 0:56:54.919 most beautiful job that I've ever had. I wouldn't ever 0:56:55.000 --> 0:56:57.399 trade it for anything in the whole entire world. It's 0:56:57.480 --> 0:57:02.600 the most confronting experience I've ever had as well, and 0:57:03.239 --> 0:57:07.040 like it's our job to not just grow in as 0:57:07.120 --> 0:57:09.440 humans and in ourselves, but also in our in the 0:57:09.440 --> 0:57:11.000 way that we show up for our children. And a 0:57:11.000 --> 0:57:12.600 lot of that for me has been able to is 0:57:12.640 --> 0:57:15.920 me zooming out and not being like so in the 0:57:15.960 --> 0:57:18.680 trenches and zooming out and being like, Okay, what is it? 0:57:19.000 --> 0:57:21.280 Like I said, like what's not working? What is working? 0:57:21.400 --> 0:57:24.400 What can we do away with? What relationships am I 0:57:24.520 --> 0:57:27.560 holding on to that are giving her and showing her 0:57:27.800 --> 0:57:29.800 great examples? What are relationships that I'm holding on to 0:57:29.880 --> 0:57:34.520 that are not showing her great examples? And I think 0:57:34.600 --> 0:57:36.760 like all those things have made me a better mom, 0:57:36.920 --> 0:57:39.120 a better a better mom, a really good mom. I'm 0:57:39.120 --> 0:57:42.600 really proud of who I am as a parent. But 0:57:42.880 --> 0:57:44.440 I couldn't have said that I was really proud of 0:57:44.440 --> 0:57:46.240 who I am as a parent. Like three years ago, 0:57:46.480 --> 0:57:49.280 I was really feeling horribly horribly about my parenting. 0:57:49.400 --> 0:57:51.560 And that's and that's hard to say, you know, I 0:57:51.600 --> 0:57:52.960 think that's something for a mom to say, like I 0:57:53.240 --> 0:57:55.720 wasn't doing a good job for this time or this summer. 0:57:55.760 --> 0:57:57.760 I haven't always done the best job or you know 0:57:57.800 --> 0:57:59.960 what I mean, Like that's a that's a very sensitive 0:58:00.080 --> 0:58:01.920 subject because at the end of the day, we like 0:58:02.000 --> 0:58:05.160 we do what we know how at that time, you know, 0:58:05.400 --> 0:58:08.960 and like and that's the thing is, like I think 0:58:09.000 --> 0:58:12.080 that's the biggest thing that we preach here at Good 0:58:12.120 --> 0:58:16.200 Moms is that we're not perfect people. We're human and 0:58:16.240 --> 0:58:19.080 we're flawed and that's okay. And as long as we're 0:58:19.120 --> 0:58:23.600 like striving every day to evolve in some capacity as mothers, 0:58:23.600 --> 0:58:26.680 as humans, as women, as wives, as lovers, whatever, of daughters, 0:58:27.080 --> 0:58:31.280 that like, that is that's the overarching most important detail. 0:58:31.680 --> 0:58:33.000 Like I always have the top myself, Like, you're not 0:58:33.040 --> 0:58:35.080 a bad person, so you don't have to like beat 0:58:35.080 --> 0:58:38.439 yourself up. I know I'm not a bad person. I'm 0:58:38.440 --> 0:58:40.960 not trying to do bad by anyone, you know, like 0:58:41.280 --> 0:58:44.160 I'm doing. And does it need to be recalibrated Sometimes 0:58:44.200 --> 0:58:46.960 absolutely things need to be recalibrated, And like you have 0:58:46.960 --> 0:58:48.720 to sit with yourself and you have to learn the 0:58:48.720 --> 0:58:51.880 way that your child loves and receives love, and like 0:58:51.960 --> 0:58:55.680 that requires patience and slowing down and being present and 0:58:55.800 --> 0:59:01.800 also like self like constructive criticism and like, I you know, 0:59:01.840 --> 0:59:04.000 there's I feel like, yes, there's been times where like 0:59:04.040 --> 0:59:07.760 that I was so consumed by like the rat race 0:59:07.840 --> 0:59:11.480 of work that things like were neglected, and I also 0:59:11.640 --> 0:59:15.320 like there's also things I'm really proud of, you know, like, uh, 0:59:16.040 --> 0:59:19.880 Luna had her health talk recently and me and Orlando 0:59:19.960 --> 0:59:21.280 were like, what do you think they're gonna talk about? 0:59:21.280 --> 0:59:24.360 And she was like periods and sex. I was like, 0:59:24.400 --> 0:59:26.240 oh really, what do you think sex is? And so 0:59:26.280 --> 0:59:28.360 she was like elaborating, and I'm like, I'm really happy 0:59:28.360 --> 0:59:30.720 that she feels comfortable to talk to us like this, 0:59:30.880 --> 0:59:32.440 like and she does you know what I mean? Like 0:59:32.600 --> 0:59:34.640 there's one thing our communication as well, Like I'm like, 0:59:34.640 --> 0:59:36.000 you know, we could talk to me about anything, it 0:59:36.000 --> 0:59:38.080 doesn't matter. I'm never gonna get mad about a conversation. 0:59:38.280 --> 0:59:40.520 She's like, oh, so and so told me they're bisexual. Today, 0:59:40.680 --> 0:59:42.040 is like, oh really, how does she know? She's like, 0:59:42.040 --> 0:59:43.720 I don't know. She's like told she thought I was 0:59:43.720 --> 0:59:45.240 gonna judge her. I was like, well did you She's 0:59:45.280 --> 0:59:47.040 like no, I'm like, how do you feel? She's like 0:59:47.080 --> 0:59:49.920 I don't care. I'm like yeah, whatever, you know, like 0:59:50.000 --> 0:59:52.120 it's just like regular conversation. So I know, like in 0:59:52.120 --> 0:59:54.520 some capacity, there are things that I absolutely am doing 0:59:54.600 --> 0:59:56.919 differently than my mom. There's things I would never ask 0:59:56.920 --> 0:59:59.520 my mom. There's things conversations we could never have. And 0:59:59.600 --> 1:00:02.600 so I think think, like as much as we have 1:00:02.720 --> 1:00:05.880 the mom guilt, it's important that we also talk about 1:00:05.920 --> 1:00:08.720 the things that we're doing well and pat ourselves on 1:00:08.720 --> 1:00:09.680 the back for those things. 1:00:09.720 --> 1:00:11.560 And like, because we live in a. 1:00:11.520 --> 1:00:15.920 Society that is hyper critical of us all the time, 1:00:16.360 --> 1:00:19.360 So we don't need to also add to the hypercriticism 1:00:19.840 --> 1:00:23.840 by being hypercritical of ourselves because it does nothing. It's like, 1:00:23.960 --> 1:00:27.920 be be aware, be honest, but also like give yourself 1:00:28.080 --> 1:00:30.520 equal parts, pack up, pat on the back because this 1:00:30.560 --> 1:00:33.959 shit is not easy, you know, And like, of course 1:00:33.960 --> 1:00:37.200 we probably have some regrets. We probably did a lot 1:00:37.600 --> 1:00:40.440 on the different levels. But also like I think overall, 1:00:40.480 --> 1:00:43.880 when our kids get older, they're going to be like, wow, 1:00:43.960 --> 1:00:45.600 I mean did you see that? Like Luna wrote that 1:00:45.640 --> 1:00:48.600 thing for Mother's Day? Like my mom and her best 1:00:48.640 --> 1:00:50.600 friend go to Costa Rica and they do retreats and 1:00:50.600 --> 1:00:52.400 they go Jamaica and Mexico, and like I didn't even 1:00:52.400 --> 1:00:55.280 know she knew all the locations, but there is I 1:00:55.320 --> 1:00:57.520 feel pride and like she's an author, you know, and 1:00:57.520 --> 1:01:00.439 like these are all things we've built in this grind time. 1:01:00.840 --> 1:01:02.400 But at the end of the day, our kids are 1:01:02.400 --> 1:01:04.200 eleven and this has been eight years of that. 1:01:04.720 --> 1:01:09.280 Yeah, as a as, I was thinking of who asked 1:01:09.360 --> 1:01:13.120 us this was it? Who was the woman we had 1:01:13.120 --> 1:01:15.360 on who has the throat orgasms? 1:01:16.120 --> 1:01:17.000 Oh, Susan Bretton. 1:01:17.040 --> 1:01:18.720 Susan Bretton. Didn't she like ask us that we had 1:01:18.760 --> 1:01:21.080 like a mom brag or something? Oh yeah, mom bra Yeah, 1:01:21.120 --> 1:01:23.280 And like so Luna doing that And then like I 1:01:23.320 --> 1:01:25.320 was just thinking, like I recently had a mom brag 1:01:25.360 --> 1:01:27.680 moment because my daughter too shown Mother's Day she wrote 1:01:27.680 --> 1:01:30.600 this really like, you know, her class had to write something, 1:01:30.880 --> 1:01:32.320 and one of the things that she wrote was that 1:01:32.360 --> 1:01:34.880 my mom always keeps her word. And I was like, 1:01:34.920 --> 1:01:37.320 because as someone who feels like I'm not always that, 1:01:37.360 --> 1:01:41.320 I'm start crying. I know, as someone who like I'm 1:01:41.360 --> 1:01:44.000 not always, I don't always feel like I can and 1:01:44.360 --> 1:01:46.960 and I know that that's something that like she struggles 1:01:46.960 --> 1:01:50.120 with on the other side of the parenting, you know, 1:01:50.240 --> 1:01:53.560 journey with her dad. Like her saying that, Like I 1:01:53.640 --> 1:01:55.160 was like, oh my god, I'm doing a good job 1:01:55.720 --> 1:01:58.120 even when I think I'm not keeping my word, Like 1:01:58.160 --> 1:02:00.400 at least I'm communicating like if I can hand, I 1:02:00.480 --> 1:02:03.960 always tell her why, you know, and like as a 1:02:04.000 --> 1:02:07.000 single mom, like it's it's hard to keep your word, 1:02:07.120 --> 1:02:11.240 Like you have every intention of like doing everything perfectly, 1:02:11.480 --> 1:02:14.360 or like getting them to this or like making sure 1:02:14.520 --> 1:02:16.560 like you're gonna be able to watch that movie, You're 1:02:16.560 --> 1:02:18.720 not gonna fall asleep this night, you know, and like 1:02:18.800 --> 1:02:22.960 all those things, and like I feel like I fail often, 1:02:23.120 --> 1:02:26.160 but I try my best to like apologize number one, 1:02:26.240 --> 1:02:29.800 because I never got apologies as a child. My mom 1:02:30.000 --> 1:02:35.280 never apologized ever, Like even now recently, we had an 1:02:35.400 --> 1:02:38.480 argument and I told her that I was and so 1:02:38.520 --> 1:02:40.920 she apologized to me because I was like, can you 1:02:41.000 --> 1:02:43.080 just apologize that you were fucking wrong the way you 1:02:43.120 --> 1:02:45.720 came at me in the car, like something something happened 1:02:45.760 --> 1:02:47.600 in my Tobashian was in the car and she was 1:02:47.600 --> 1:02:49.960 on speakerphone and he was like whoa. And I was like, 1:02:50.760 --> 1:02:54.320 so I'm not tripping right, that was crazy, And so 1:02:54.640 --> 1:02:57.760 I'm just like I'm just now, at thirty fucking eight 1:02:57.840 --> 1:03:00.480 years old, getting apologies from my mom and I but 1:03:00.520 --> 1:03:02.680 I had to tell her that I needed an apology. 1:03:03.160 --> 1:03:07.160 And so like, as as a mother, like I probably 1:03:07.240 --> 1:03:11.520 apologize too much but it's just like I'm like overdoing 1:03:11.560 --> 1:03:12.920 it because I never got it. 1:03:13.200 --> 1:03:15.200 That's the trauma that you experienced from your mom now. 1:03:15.280 --> 1:03:18.800 But I realized that at least in my apologies or 1:03:18.800 --> 1:03:21.120 at least in my explaining as to why and not 1:03:21.200 --> 1:03:25.800 just saying because I said so, my daughter's understanding like a, yeah, things, 1:03:25.880 --> 1:03:27.880 not everything's going to get done, not every promise is 1:03:27.920 --> 1:03:29.960 going to get kept, but at least like she knows 1:03:29.960 --> 1:03:32.440 that she can count on me. Like I'm like, I just, 1:03:32.600 --> 1:03:34.960 I just I think that like every parent wants their 1:03:35.080 --> 1:03:37.920 child to feel like they have at least one parent 1:03:38.000 --> 1:03:42.200 they know that they can count on no matter what, 1:03:42.680 --> 1:03:44.160 not just for things. 1:03:44.080 --> 1:03:46.200 But like, yeah, throw up for you. 1:03:47.000 --> 1:03:48.240 So that's my mom brag. 1:03:48.440 --> 1:03:49.840 Yeah, and I think we've done that. 1:03:49.880 --> 1:03:50.080 You know. 1:03:50.560 --> 1:03:54.920 I think even in this journey as good moms, you know, 1:03:55.080 --> 1:03:57.080 I think that they. I think there's something we've learned 1:03:57.120 --> 1:03:59.600 about ourselves that inevitably is a gift to them, you know, 1:04:00.400 --> 1:04:02.680 about like her confidence or something, and then like or 1:04:02.720 --> 1:04:05.240 she thinks that I'm free, and like I think the 1:04:05.280 --> 1:04:09.160 big thing that was like we are very much in 1:04:09.200 --> 1:04:12.720 that preteen and we are very much at that brink 1:04:12.760 --> 1:04:14.840 of like I have other friends and I'm doing other 1:04:14.880 --> 1:04:17.040 shit and like I'm like, oh my god, am I 1:04:17.040 --> 1:04:18.840 never going to get at time back where she wants 1:04:18.880 --> 1:04:20.240 to kick it because. 1:04:20.040 --> 1:04:24.919 She's already like very it's like too cool. 1:04:25.120 --> 1:04:27.200 And there's also things like her attitude and I know 1:04:27.240 --> 1:04:29.200 it's like hormones, but I'm just like, oh my god, 1:04:29.200 --> 1:04:31.080 have I Have I. 1:04:31.040 --> 1:04:31.840 Missed that moment? 1:04:32.240 --> 1:04:34.800 You know why? 1:04:34.880 --> 1:04:39.880 I can't even crying, Like I don't know. 1:04:39.920 --> 1:04:42.320 I know it's no moments missed, but just like have 1:04:42.400 --> 1:04:44.800 I done enough? And also like when you're pregnant and 1:04:44.840 --> 1:04:47.040 you don't have kids, and you have all these ideas 1:04:47.080 --> 1:04:49.840 about like what motherhood's going to look like and like 1:04:50.080 --> 1:04:52.760 she's gonna be able to read when she's two and 1:04:52.800 --> 1:04:56.800 she's got more languages, and and then you get there 1:04:56.840 --> 1:04:59.400 and it's just like not always realistic. 1:04:59.520 --> 1:05:02.160 You know, you don't you didn't hit all the all 1:05:02.200 --> 1:05:05.600 the benchmarks that you set up for yourself as someone 1:05:05.640 --> 1:05:08.160 without a child. Yeah, And then I'm like, fuck, I'm 1:05:08.160 --> 1:05:09.680 still learning how to be an adult in a lot 1:05:09.720 --> 1:05:12.240 of ways, Like fuck, I got to enroll you in school, 1:05:12.240 --> 1:05:13.960 like this is series I really do how to do this, 1:05:15.080 --> 1:05:17.439 And it's like I keep forgetting, and I'm like, why 1:05:17.440 --> 1:05:19.440 can I remember to do the important things? It's exactly 1:05:19.480 --> 1:05:21.360 this long list of things I need to do, and like. 1:05:23.320 --> 1:05:26.600 It's such a like mothering yourself while mothering an actual 1:05:26.720 --> 1:05:33.360 child is an incredible gift, but it's also incredibly difficult. 1:05:33.400 --> 1:05:35.880 And it's also like I do sometimes still feel like 1:05:35.880 --> 1:05:38.040 a teenager and I'm like not a teen mom at all. 1:05:38.760 --> 1:05:43.560 And when you have dads that are doing their best 1:05:43.560 --> 1:05:46.080 but it's not really half the shit that we're doing, 1:05:46.680 --> 1:05:49.880 it is like a big heavy burden or like a 1:05:49.880 --> 1:05:53.320 big just a big role to wear when like you know, 1:05:53.360 --> 1:05:55.120 you made this kid with somebody else, but they're not 1:05:55.200 --> 1:05:58.240 even like as nearly responsible, even like with just being 1:05:58.240 --> 1:06:02.520 with Orlando. It's like his investment in her education, like 1:06:03.280 --> 1:06:07.280 her Kuman and fucking tutoring and fucking work books that 1:06:07.320 --> 1:06:09.959 he got and makes her do. It's like thank god, 1:06:10.080 --> 1:06:13.720 because A I can't do new math, and b where 1:06:13.760 --> 1:06:15.240 the fuck is your actual parent? 1:06:15.400 --> 1:06:16.000 You know what I mean? 1:06:16.120 --> 1:06:17.960 Like that would not come if he wasn't in the 1:06:18.000 --> 1:06:21.040 picture because I'm barely trying to figure out other shit, 1:06:21.160 --> 1:06:23.680 you know. And it's just like the tribe shit is 1:06:23.760 --> 1:06:26.480 like absolutely true and just like this balance in it 1:06:26.520 --> 1:06:31.040 all is like, I like, do we ever have enough time? 1:06:31.320 --> 1:06:34.439 You are there any moms who don't experience mom guild 1:06:34.440 --> 1:06:36.400 at all? Like does everyone feel does anyone feel like 1:06:36.400 --> 1:06:37.960 they're doing it just right all the time? 1:06:39.160 --> 1:06:41.160 No? Maybe I'm agreed. 1:06:42.840 --> 1:06:46.240 And Emma greed decided fuck all this shit, you know. 1:06:46.440 --> 1:06:49.640 And it's like, also, this is gonna sound terrible, but 1:06:49.720 --> 1:06:53.920 like the trauma that we experience from our families or 1:06:53.960 --> 1:06:58.240 from our parents made us who we are. Like whatever struggle, 1:06:58.320 --> 1:07:01.440 whatever that was, that is a part of our identity. 1:07:01.440 --> 1:07:03.000 And like you know, they say you choose your parents, 1:07:03.000 --> 1:07:06.000 and sometimes we end up in situations that are not ideal, 1:07:06.320 --> 1:07:10.360 but you are, you are carved out of that chaos, 1:07:10.440 --> 1:07:13.480 whatever that chaos is. And you know, I don't know 1:07:13.480 --> 1:07:14.960 if this is true or not, but like every kid 1:07:15.000 --> 1:07:16.800 is going to have something to complain about. Every kid 1:07:16.840 --> 1:07:18.480 is going to have some form of trauma in their 1:07:18.560 --> 1:07:22.080 childhood because that is about that's how they like become 1:07:22.120 --> 1:07:25.040 into their purpose as adults. But I just you know, 1:07:25.200 --> 1:07:28.680 as long as we're lightening the load every generation, you know, 1:07:28.960 --> 1:07:31.560 and they know our hearts, I think that we're doing 1:07:31.600 --> 1:07:32.080 a good job. 1:07:32.080 --> 1:07:32.959 You're doing a good job. 1:07:33.080 --> 1:07:37.720 Thank you, thank you. I'm glad that I thinks I'm 1:07:37.720 --> 1:07:40.960 doing a good job, because really that's really all that 1:07:41.000 --> 1:07:42.800 matters as long as your kid is happy and they 1:07:42.800 --> 1:07:45.480 think that you're doing great. Honey, you're doing great. 1:07:45.880 --> 1:07:47.280 I ask all the time, do you think I'm doing 1:07:47.320 --> 1:07:49.840 a good job? Do you think I'm good? Mom? Like, yeah, okay, 1:07:49.840 --> 1:07:51.600 I'm never lying because I'm asking you on the spot. 1:07:51.640 --> 1:07:55.920 But well, on that note, I think it's time to 1:07:55.960 --> 1:07:59.360 smoke a backward please, But the moms are crying it's 1:07:59.400 --> 1:08:06.160 back with time. Yeah, this is a I didn't have any, honey, 1:08:06.200 --> 1:08:11.120 so this is just a regular wood, good old fashioned blunt. 1:08:13.080 --> 1:08:15.400 I think this weed is the very last bit of 1:08:15.480 --> 1:08:18.519 weed from my stepdad. 1:08:18.560 --> 1:08:20.679 Theree that you insisted on taking it from. 1:08:20.880 --> 1:08:23.759 Yeah, because I was like, don't smoke that weed. That's 1:08:23.800 --> 1:08:25.840 all I have fucking left, and he I don't know 1:08:25.880 --> 1:08:30.200 when he's going to have another whatever grow, so let's 1:08:30.240 --> 1:08:35.280 just enjoy it. Weed grown by another parent, Dad weed, 1:08:35.040 --> 1:08:35.960 were dad weed? 1:08:36.000 --> 1:08:38.839 That was weod? That a sponsorship mom, dad grass. 1:08:39.320 --> 1:08:42.000 This is for all the moms, all the parents, to 1:08:42.240 --> 1:08:46.080 just smoke away in exhill, away that mom guilt. We're 1:08:46.120 --> 1:08:48.880 doing the very best we can, just putting intention that 1:08:48.920 --> 1:08:52.280 our kids are healthy, whole, peaceful, happy children that know 1:08:52.400 --> 1:08:54.360 that we're flawed and that we're human, and that love 1:08:54.439 --> 1:08:59.200 us regardless, and that we continually find balance in this 1:08:59.439 --> 1:09:03.520 journey of motherhood, and that we find a re programming 1:09:03.680 --> 1:09:06.919 of our thought system, and that we're always patting ourselves 1:09:06.960 --> 1:09:11.000 on the back when we deserve it, and that we're 1:09:11.040 --> 1:09:14.040 reframing our minds so that we're not constantly criticizing ourselves 1:09:14.680 --> 1:09:17.040 so that we can be actually present in our kids' lives. 1:09:17.080 --> 1:09:20.040 Criticism takes away being present, and being present is all 1:09:20.080 --> 1:09:23.280 that they actually require. So may this blunt give us 1:09:23.280 --> 1:09:28.120 all of the badass mom Jesus, Amen, Amen. 1:09:32.200 --> 1:09:35.000 Shout out to Backwoods for blessing the moms. 1:09:36.560 --> 1:09:38.880 Backwards loves moms. 1:09:40.000 --> 1:09:41.880 Go kind of backward. Is that a true true rap? 1:09:42.640 --> 1:09:44.639 No, this is a This is like a real backward. 1:09:44.680 --> 1:09:46.920 I have to gut it and everything. Okay, this is 1:09:46.960 --> 1:09:48.000 the aromatic backward. 1:09:48.040 --> 1:09:56.080 Okay, I like that one. Hm? Is this a Backwoods blues? 1:09:56.320 --> 1:10:00.000 Wait? So, speaking of moms, randomly, the other day or yesterday, 1:10:00.040 --> 1:10:03.880 I had this random blessing. It's a blessing to me 1:10:04.200 --> 1:10:06.519 because it was just so random. So if you guys 1:10:06.560 --> 1:10:09.320 are listening to the podcast. Early on, I used to 1:10:09.360 --> 1:10:14.400 have basically like my second mom who raised me. With 1:10:14.479 --> 1:10:16.720 my mom, I don't even feel I would never I 1:10:16.760 --> 1:10:18.559 don't even like calling her a nanny because she's like 1:10:18.920 --> 1:10:19.760 a second mother to me. 1:10:19.960 --> 1:10:20.240 Flora. 1:10:21.800 --> 1:10:24.160 She's was with us from like I think I was 1:10:24.200 --> 1:10:28.679 six months until I don't know, I didn't need watching 1:10:28.720 --> 1:10:31.720 over anymore. But I've always kept in touch with her, 1:10:31.720 --> 1:10:33.519 and then when I had Iri, I had this dream 1:10:33.880 --> 1:10:37.000 and I like summoned her back into my life and 1:10:37.040 --> 1:10:41.360 then she's helped me raise Iri. She's from Guatemala and 1:10:41.520 --> 1:10:45.400 I just love her so, so fucking much. Anyway, she 1:10:45.880 --> 1:10:47.800 randomly called me yesterday. I haven't talked to her in 1:10:47.840 --> 1:10:58.559 a while, and she's like, mamita Isa, mota mota, and 1:10:58.600 --> 1:11:00.320 she's like I think I need a smoke and I 1:11:00.439 --> 1:11:01.080 was dressed. 1:11:01.280 --> 1:11:02.040 I was like what. 1:11:02.240 --> 1:11:04.800 And this is like she is like the most, like 1:11:05.040 --> 1:11:10.080 she's a holy rolling Like God, really, I mean she 1:11:10.240 --> 1:11:12.240 is like a witch though she's doing witchy shit all 1:11:12.280 --> 1:11:14.439 the time, like all the time, like putting like all 1:11:14.439 --> 1:11:17.080 those big oranges in my purse with crosses in them, 1:11:17.160 --> 1:11:20.920 and like putting shit under my bed, like but she 1:11:21.120 --> 1:11:23.920 was just like, I'm I have a lot of anxiety 1:11:24.080 --> 1:11:26.759 and I know you told me years ago that weed helps, 1:11:26.800 --> 1:11:29.960 but I didn't like take you up on it. And 1:11:30.040 --> 1:11:31.920 I'm with my niece right now and she told me 1:11:31.920 --> 1:11:34.080 the same thing. So I think I'm ready. It's like 1:11:34.120 --> 1:11:35.800 I'm not working right now. I don't have anything to 1:11:36.000 --> 1:11:38.920 worry about, like as far as like my employment goes, 1:11:38.960 --> 1:11:41.200 So I'm ready. And I was like okay. I was like, well, 1:11:45.720 --> 1:11:47.599 there's a lot of dispensaries, it's legal. All you used 1:11:47.600 --> 1:11:49.560 to do is like, you know, bring your ID. She's like, 1:11:49.560 --> 1:11:51.320 I don't know how to do that. Are you home? 1:11:51.920 --> 1:11:54.200 And I was like I am home. So she's like, okay, 1:11:54.200 --> 1:11:55.960 I'm coming over. So girl, she was over at my 1:11:55.960 --> 1:11:56.960 house in like twenty minutes. 1:11:57.720 --> 1:11:59.960 Not her jaw. You have it on deck. 1:12:00.120 --> 1:12:02.920 I was like okay, And like floor, she's like a 1:12:03.240 --> 1:12:05.519 she's like this little tiny she's how old is floor? 1:12:05.560 --> 1:12:07.960 She probably? I think she's like maybe like sixty years old. 1:12:08.000 --> 1:12:09.280 Now. She took the streets. 1:12:09.720 --> 1:12:11.519 She heard her niece was driving. Oh you no, she yeah, 1:12:11.560 --> 1:12:13.719 Florally drives on the streets. She doesn't get on the freeway. 1:12:14.600 --> 1:12:17.680 So she shows up to the house and I had 1:12:17.720 --> 1:12:20.040 already started rolling up the joints, and so I was like, 1:12:20.320 --> 1:12:21.880 I was like, you know, this is a good opportunity 1:12:21.880 --> 1:12:24.160 for me to like, you know, give her some sort 1:12:24.160 --> 1:12:26.920 of ritual when it comes to smoking. And so we 1:12:27.000 --> 1:12:30.360 prayed over the joint. I told her, like to just 1:12:30.400 --> 1:12:33.000 ask for the feeling that you want to feel, you know, 1:12:33.120 --> 1:12:36.960 thank God for the medicine and the providing of these 1:12:37.000 --> 1:12:41.760 medicines and relief. Girl, Floor hit that fucking joint like 1:12:41.800 --> 1:12:44.360 a motherfucking g when I tell you, she hit that 1:12:44.439 --> 1:12:46.479 joint and she hold it in and I was like, 1:12:46.479 --> 1:12:50.439 hold it, she's And then she always looks so worried 1:12:49.280 --> 1:12:52.840 to no one, if anyone needs the blondest floor. Okay, 1:12:52.920 --> 1:12:57.040 she she exhales it. It's like beautiful smoke. And she 1:12:57.080 --> 1:12:59.479 didn't cough at all. I was like, didn't, no, not 1:12:59.640 --> 1:13:03.840 one cough nothing, And I was just thinking, like, oh 1:13:03.880 --> 1:13:06.200 my God, Like, first of all, this is such an 1:13:06.320 --> 1:13:09.320 unexpected moment in my day yesterday, and like this week 1:13:09.360 --> 1:13:11.400 has been challenging for me, and so like, I don't 1:13:11.560 --> 1:13:14.280 take it lightly that God placed her in my day 1:13:14.400 --> 1:13:17.720 yesterday to come have this moment. And then she like 1:13:17.800 --> 1:13:20.439 just poured just so much life into me because she 1:13:20.520 --> 1:13:24.920 was high, and we just sat there and smoked, and 1:13:24.960 --> 1:13:26.880 I was just like talking to her, talking to her 1:13:26.920 --> 1:13:29.400 niece and just like thinking about just like the journey 1:13:29.400 --> 1:13:31.640 of mothers and the journey of women, and like her 1:13:31.720 --> 1:13:35.479 journey has been so challenging, and it's like it's not 1:13:35.720 --> 1:13:39.960 uns it's I guess, almost essentially normal for women, and 1:13:41.080 --> 1:13:42.880 of her like her, like Latin women that have come 1:13:42.880 --> 1:13:45.200 from different countries, that have left their children behind, that 1:13:45.280 --> 1:13:47.600 have raised other people's children while not being able to 1:13:47.680 --> 1:13:50.120 raise their own, and the trauma that comes with that, 1:13:50.360 --> 1:13:53.439 and then like the guilt, the mom guilt, the insane 1:13:53.560 --> 1:13:57.559 mom guilt that comes with that, the trauma that it 1:13:57.640 --> 1:14:00.000 bestows upon those children. Because her son is now here 1:14:00.560 --> 1:14:03.599 and he he went took her through the ringer around 1:14:03.680 --> 1:14:07.080 about that when he got here for years and years 1:14:07.120 --> 1:14:13.439 and years, and and her finally being like, it's time, 1:14:13.520 --> 1:14:16.200 it's time to smoke a blind and so I sent 1:14:16.240 --> 1:14:18.400 her on her way with three extra joints. I was 1:14:18.400 --> 1:14:19.720 not I need to check on her today and be like, 1:14:19.760 --> 1:14:22.200 how are you? Are you okay? When we're smoking? She 1:14:22.280 --> 1:14:25.559 was talking and then her mouth started like going like this, 1:14:25.640 --> 1:14:26.679 and I was like, she's. 1:14:26.560 --> 1:14:31.000 Like, Moissica, wait, Moisica, my mouth. 1:14:31.400 --> 1:14:32.679 I'm like, that's called cotton mouth. 1:14:32.760 --> 1:14:34.519 Floor, how do you say cotton mouth in Spanish? 1:14:35.120 --> 1:14:35.599 I don't know. 1:14:36.080 --> 1:14:37.679 Weka the cotton, We'll go to cotton. 1:14:41.200 --> 1:14:44.639 So yeah, anyway, and also reminded me like I also 1:14:44.760 --> 1:14:48.000 was feeling super anxious this weekend, like anxiety, Like I 1:14:48.040 --> 1:14:49.560 was like, am I gonna have a panic attack? Like 1:14:49.600 --> 1:14:51.240 do I need a paperbag? That's the only thing I 1:14:51.280 --> 1:14:53.120 know of panic attacks? Breathing the paper back and I 1:14:53.120 --> 1:14:57.000 don't have paperbags. And I was going to call you, 1:14:57.040 --> 1:14:58.200 and I was like, what am I going to say 1:14:58.200 --> 1:14:59.160 I'm having a panic attack? 1:14:59.240 --> 1:14:59.839 This is crazy? 1:14:59.880 --> 1:15:01.760 Like and I think, like you're saying you had a 1:15:01.760 --> 1:15:04.240 bad week, And I'm like, obviously we're fucking witches and 1:15:04.280 --> 1:15:07.759 we're fucking spent all of our ten last decade together, 1:15:07.880 --> 1:15:10.640 so we're connected. And I was just like, just like, 1:15:11.280 --> 1:15:14.439 Floor called on you, like call on your friends, call 1:15:14.520 --> 1:15:15.280 on your friends. 1:15:15.320 --> 1:15:17.080 Like sometimes I'm like is this stupid? 1:15:17.200 --> 1:15:19.439 Like sometimes you just want to sit with somebody on 1:15:19.479 --> 1:15:21.360 the phone and like say the thing, you know, Like 1:15:21.400 --> 1:15:23.599 I called Erica this morning to tell her this thing, 1:15:23.640 --> 1:15:27.400 and I'm just like I didn't have a destination and 1:15:27.680 --> 1:15:30.320 sharing this thing, but I just needed to talk to someone. 1:15:30.320 --> 1:15:33.080 And the truth is sometimes like talking to your girls. 1:15:32.800 --> 1:15:34.880 Is different than talking to your man and talking you 1:15:34.880 --> 1:15:36.760 know what I mean, Like it's just a different. 1:15:38.080 --> 1:15:39.600 Nurturing that you're gonna get, you know what. 1:15:39.600 --> 1:15:42.160 I mean that men just like just don't naturally have, 1:15:42.360 --> 1:15:45.280 And I think, like that's the blessing, even talking about floors, 1:15:45.400 --> 1:15:47.519 you know, having to send back for her kid. And 1:15:47.560 --> 1:15:49.280 even even when I realized too, because I was like, 1:15:49.360 --> 1:15:52.000 what the fuck am I stressed about? And I realized 1:15:52.000 --> 1:15:55.320 like because I am settled, because I am safe. It's 1:15:55.360 --> 1:15:58.439 like the unsafety in my body is so clear to 1:15:58.479 --> 1:16:01.200 me because I'm for the first time, like completely in 1:16:01.240 --> 1:16:03.920 survival mode. And a lot of this is sometimes past 1:16:04.000 --> 1:16:07.360 lives and epigenetics and what your ancestors went through. 1:16:07.479 --> 1:16:11.080 Sorry, so you. 1:16:11.040 --> 1:16:16.840 Know, like just sometimes the rest in this era is 1:16:16.960 --> 1:16:22.400 literally about honoring it when are like the women before 1:16:22.479 --> 1:16:26.320 us didn't get the opportunity to rest or have kinship 1:16:26.360 --> 1:16:28.679 and the way that we do, like really just taking 1:16:28.720 --> 1:16:33.160 advantage of the friendships and the relationships and the family 1:16:33.200 --> 1:16:35.559 that we have and like leaning in on that, and 1:16:35.640 --> 1:16:38.360 even having this conversation now, I'm realizing, like I've been trying, 1:16:38.760 --> 1:16:40.840 Like me and my mom have been hanging out a 1:16:40.840 --> 1:16:43.040 little bit more and talking more, and our relationship has 1:16:43.040 --> 1:16:45.759 been way better than it has in previous like years, 1:16:46.520 --> 1:16:48.320 and I'm grateful for her growth so that we can 1:16:48.400 --> 1:16:52.240 like be friends. But also I'm like, my mom is 1:16:52.280 --> 1:16:56.920 getting older, and that time is also fleeting. So it's 1:16:57.000 --> 1:17:00.680 like I'm looking back at my child and. 1:17:00.280 --> 1:17:02.320 Then looking at her, and then looking ahead at your mom. 1:17:02.120 --> 1:17:04.040 Looking ahead at your mom, and it's like we're all 1:17:04.040 --> 1:17:06.080 a piece of the same trajector, like all a piece 1:17:06.120 --> 1:17:10.200 of the same DNA, like copy cut and copied, and 1:17:10.360 --> 1:17:12.679 like this life is short. 1:17:13.479 --> 1:17:15.600 The life is like, this life is short. You know. 1:17:15.720 --> 1:17:17.479 I was just my family and my uncle's down here. 1:17:17.640 --> 1:17:19.679 He looked at me. He's like, yo, I can't believe 1:17:19.720 --> 1:17:21.360 I'm sixty. I'm like, you're sixty. 1:17:21.560 --> 1:17:24.080 Granted he's dying. My old family's dying their hair, and 1:17:24.120 --> 1:17:25.960 he's like, I don't feel sixty at all. He's like 1:17:26.000 --> 1:17:27.840 sometimes I think I'm fifty. And I just like looked 1:17:27.840 --> 1:17:29.960 at him and I'm like, I'm about to be thirty eight, 1:17:31.560 --> 1:17:35.360 and that shit has gone by extremely fast. 1:17:35.760 --> 1:17:38.160 I mean, yeah, we started Good Moms when you were 1:17:38.160 --> 1:17:39.240 twenty nine and I was thirty. 1:17:39.320 --> 1:17:45.519 I know, Oh my god, yeah, so I am. I 1:17:45.520 --> 1:17:51.880 I'm constantly trying to just gropple with time. I feel 1:17:51.880 --> 1:17:53.960 like a lot of my anxiety is about time. But like, 1:17:54.040 --> 1:17:56.320 the only promise we're given is that we're going to die. 1:17:56.439 --> 1:17:59.280 Every day, we're going closer to death, even if we 1:17:59.320 --> 1:18:01.160 live to be a hundred in fifty. 1:18:01.200 --> 1:18:02.240 With new technology. 1:18:02.520 --> 1:18:05.599 It's just like, I think it's time has been such 1:18:05.640 --> 1:18:10.439 a main character in my life this past few months 1:18:10.520 --> 1:18:13.640 because I've been grappling with like a lot of decisions 1:18:13.640 --> 1:18:17.680 and choices, and like what I've come to realize and 1:18:17.720 --> 1:18:19.679 what I've come to just learn from my elders too, 1:18:19.840 --> 1:18:23.760 is they all say it goes fast, to worry, do 1:18:23.880 --> 1:18:27.080 it all, and don't worry. Stop worrying. It's all gonna 1:18:27.120 --> 1:18:30.400 work out. It's all gonna work out. It's literally all 1:18:30.439 --> 1:18:32.880 of it. All of it's gonna work itself out. It 1:18:32.920 --> 1:18:34.519 may not work it out the way you want it 1:18:34.560 --> 1:18:36.200 to work out, but no matter what, it's going to 1:18:36.280 --> 1:18:38.960 work out. That pain that you feel in the breakup 1:18:39.040 --> 1:18:41.680 right now, it subsides because bitch. We've all broken up 1:18:41.720 --> 1:18:43.639 a thousand times, we've all been in pain and all 1:18:43.680 --> 1:18:45.040 the things and those those are things I have to 1:18:45.040 --> 1:18:47.360 remember too. It's like when I'm in pain or like 1:18:47.400 --> 1:18:50.800 I'm in grief, like knowing that and that's just like 1:18:50.840 --> 1:18:52.640 what my mom has always said, like time is the 1:18:52.640 --> 1:18:56.240 greatest neutralizer, but unfortunately you can't speed up time, but 1:18:56.280 --> 1:18:58.759 it does go fast. And it's like, what are the choices, 1:18:58.800 --> 1:19:00.360 what are the things you're living in right now now 1:19:01.400 --> 1:19:04.840 that are making you unhappy? Is it worth staying and 1:19:04.880 --> 1:19:07.640 waiting around? Maybe not waiting, but like working through it? 1:19:07.960 --> 1:19:10.040 And sometimes it is, And like I've had to, I've 1:19:10.120 --> 1:19:12.680 I've battled with that idea too, of like am I 1:19:12.720 --> 1:19:14.680 just too quick to just move on to the next thing? 1:19:14.840 --> 1:19:17.240 Because because you're thinking time is like but. 1:19:17.200 --> 1:19:19.680 Then but then there's things intuitively inside of me that 1:19:19.760 --> 1:19:23.160 I know. I know myself, I know my body, I 1:19:23.240 --> 1:19:25.479 know myself. When it's like time is. 1:19:25.520 --> 1:19:27.200 Up, yeah, to mix shift. 1:19:27.360 --> 1:19:29.400 Yeah. And like I was talking to my friend the 1:19:29.400 --> 1:19:30.519 other day. He said, what are you doing for your 1:19:30.520 --> 1:19:32.240 fortieth next year? I said, my fortieth? 1:19:32.479 --> 1:19:32.960 Slow down? 1:19:33.000 --> 1:19:35.800 What the fuck are you talking about? I was like, 1:19:35.880 --> 1:19:40.559 what forty? No, next year, and I was like, oh 1:19:40.600 --> 1:19:43.120 my god, am I am I? Am I? Okay? Like, 1:19:43.200 --> 1:19:45.080 am I are all the things? Are all the things? 1:19:44.840 --> 1:19:44.880 Like? 1:19:45.600 --> 1:19:48.800 Are all my chakras lit up? Shout out to fucking 1:19:49.160 --> 1:19:52.360 Kenny Kenya? Are all my chakras? Like? Am I living? 1:19:52.520 --> 1:19:54.920 Are they spinning all? Like? And are they all in motion? 1:19:55.000 --> 1:19:56.599 Are some like a little dead? And like what can 1:19:56.640 --> 1:19:59.480 I do to like make sure they're aliving and not unliving? 1:20:00.080 --> 1:20:02.280 And it's like it's it doesn't have to be scary 1:20:02.280 --> 1:20:03.920 because you think about time and it is scary, but 1:20:03.960 --> 1:20:06.360 like it is true, like we are only here for 1:20:07.040 --> 1:20:12.120 a moment. It's so quick, it's so fast, So it's 1:20:12.160 --> 1:20:16.240 like rock out with your pussy out. You know, maybe 1:20:16.240 --> 1:20:18.599 you don't, maybe not out everywhere, but you know, I'm 1:20:18.640 --> 1:20:23.599 fuck I'm saying you know what I'm saying, like, make 1:20:23.600 --> 1:20:26.920 sure you're like this summer checking with yourself. You know, 1:20:27.120 --> 1:20:29.519 this is the mid what is the third quarter? Checking bitch? 1:20:29.680 --> 1:20:31.760 Feed all the chakras, all the parts of you. 1:20:32.080 --> 1:20:36.599 Yeah, we're entering into the what was it April, May, June, July? Okay, 1:20:36.600 --> 1:20:38.800 we're yeah, we're at the end of the second quarter, 1:20:39.080 --> 1:20:41.439 so it's time for a check in. Are you okay? 1:20:41.680 --> 1:20:44.679 Do you need to let some sugar? Am I okay? 1:20:44.680 --> 1:20:48.200 I don't get Yeah, yeah, feed the animal, feed the hoe, 1:20:48.320 --> 1:20:51.280 feed the mom, feed the lever, you know, like feed 1:20:51.360 --> 1:20:53.360 the part that says that's what I was thinking. I 1:20:53.360 --> 1:20:55.400 want to go on too silent retreat. I literally want 1:20:55.400 --> 1:20:57.160 to unplug. And that was another thing, like just being 1:20:57.200 --> 1:20:58.240 so tied to the internet. 1:20:58.479 --> 1:21:00.000 Go to the dark, go in the care. 1:21:00.360 --> 1:21:03.120 I don't know if I'm going to know I have 1:21:03.320 --> 1:21:04.920 can I can connect you? No thing? 1:21:05.080 --> 1:21:06.080 You want to get in that cave. 1:21:06.200 --> 1:21:07.679 I don't want to get in that cave. I thought 1:21:07.680 --> 1:21:09.160 about it because you went in the cave. I'm like, 1:21:09.160 --> 1:21:11.760 maybe I'll just go with silence. Maybe I don't need 1:21:11.800 --> 1:21:13.560 to black out everything and be in a cave. I 1:21:13.640 --> 1:21:16.320 don't know, my spirit is not Maybe I was in 1:21:16.320 --> 1:21:17.880 a cave and I didn't want to be in a 1:21:17.880 --> 1:21:21.160 cave before. So I'm like, I I think I would 1:21:21.160 --> 1:21:23.000 to go on a silent retreat so I could just 1:21:23.040 --> 1:21:25.240 shut the fuck up and like turn my phone off. 1:21:25.360 --> 1:21:27.000 When's the last time your phone has been off for 1:21:27.040 --> 1:21:30.680 twenty four hours? I can't remember the last time my 1:21:30.680 --> 1:21:33.479 phone was even off for three hour. Actually, I can 1:21:33.680 --> 1:21:36.080 because I talked about it because the power was out 1:21:36.200 --> 1:21:38.240 and I couldn't charge my phone and that was the 1:21:38.280 --> 1:21:42.919 only reason I was alone and quiet, and it was strange. 1:21:43.760 --> 1:21:48.360 I turned my phone off yesterday for two hours, like 1:21:48.479 --> 1:21:50.760 I actually turned it off. I did, yeah, and it 1:21:50.840 --> 1:21:53.759 was hard for me. I picked it up like three times. Yeah, 1:21:54.040 --> 1:21:56.240 And then I was like, I was like, but I 1:21:56.240 --> 1:21:57.680 could I have like three things that I could be 1:21:57.720 --> 1:21:59.320 doing right now really quick, Like I was like trying 1:21:59.320 --> 1:22:01.400 to like make negotiations with myself, and I was like, 1:22:01.880 --> 1:22:05.360 just watch the movie. Just sit here and watch the movie. 1:22:05.560 --> 1:22:08.679 It's okay, like you know, but turning it off. 1:22:08.880 --> 1:22:09.120 Yeah. 1:22:09.160 --> 1:22:10.600 And then even today when we're talking and I was 1:22:10.600 --> 1:22:11.920 on I was on a walk when I was talking 1:22:11.920 --> 1:22:14.000 to you today and then my phone died and I 1:22:14.040 --> 1:22:18.040 was like, oh, I guess I have. And but I 1:22:18.040 --> 1:22:20.200 can almost feel like the anxiety of like need, feeling 1:22:20.200 --> 1:22:21.920 like I needed a hurry up to get to the 1:22:21.920 --> 1:22:25.600 house to charge it because we interrupted the conversation. And 1:22:25.600 --> 1:22:27.639 I was like, it's fine, it's gonna be okay. 1:22:30.640 --> 1:22:51.040 Let's do a Mila moan, a couple of Mela moons. Yeah, 1:22:51.200 --> 1:22:55.080 just clean your palates, let it go, release it drop 1:22:55.120 --> 1:22:57.680 your fucking jaw, drop your shoulders. 1:22:59.560 --> 1:22:59.880 Hmm. 1:23:01.560 --> 1:23:03.679 Horror story, Tar, I have a horror story. 1:23:03.760 --> 1:23:18.880 I love a horror story. Horror stories. If you have 1:23:18.920 --> 1:23:22.040 a horror story, please send us your horror stories. Go 1:23:22.080 --> 1:23:26.360 to Good Momsbadchoices dot com and click on our contact 1:23:26.360 --> 1:23:28.920 button and you can write in an advice question. You 1:23:28.960 --> 1:23:31.479 can write in a horror story and we will share 1:23:31.479 --> 1:23:32.759 it anonymously on the show. 1:23:34.640 --> 1:23:38.599 Okay, Doki. She left a lot of names in here. 1:23:38.640 --> 1:23:42.640 I'm just gonna go with it. Whores, Hey Mela, congratulations 1:23:42.640 --> 1:23:45.519 on your marriage. Thanks girl, Mary, union continue to blossom 1:23:45.520 --> 1:23:48.160 and freedom, joy and high vibrations. I receive that, and 1:23:48.160 --> 1:23:51.920 I appreciate that I'm a retired horror new mother and 1:23:51.960 --> 1:23:54.479 that twenty sixteen trend has me thinking about some of 1:23:54.520 --> 1:23:57.400 my adventures. So I said, why not share them with 1:23:57.560 --> 1:24:01.120 one of the baddest moms. Thanks are sharing it. I 1:24:01.120 --> 1:24:04.240 hope she means for everybody, because I'm gagerated everybody. So 1:24:04.320 --> 1:24:07.599 it started with this man, a tattoo artist whose government 1:24:07.720 --> 1:24:11.120 name is Larry, A tall, fine man who I later 1:24:11.160 --> 1:24:13.920 found out practiced anthidia and had a group of friends 1:24:13.920 --> 1:24:17.639 who all did these freaky ass rituals anyway, he slid 1:24:17.640 --> 1:24:20.400 in my DMS and I didn't really pay him any mind. 1:24:20.720 --> 1:24:22.800 We followed each other. I liked his art, but didn't 1:24:22.840 --> 1:24:25.400 have any mutual friends or know who he was. I 1:24:25.479 --> 1:24:27.439 lived in West LA at the time and he was 1:24:27.479 --> 1:24:30.320 from Dorante. So he invited me out to the party 1:24:30.360 --> 1:24:32.760 one night in downtown. It was a good time. He 1:24:32.760 --> 1:24:36.120 seems sweet and we had some intellectually stimulating conversations, so 1:24:36.160 --> 1:24:39.479 I was like, Okay, Larry's cool. We hung out a 1:24:39.479 --> 1:24:41.880 lot more after that. When he moved to La, he goes, 1:24:42.000 --> 1:24:44.760 do you want to Christen? Ha ha should have known 1:24:44.880 --> 1:24:47.760 my apartment with me. So we took some ecstasy at 1:24:47.760 --> 1:24:50.280 the after hours, and at three am he bent me 1:24:50.320 --> 1:24:52.599 over his futon in the kitchen and we fucked till 1:24:52.640 --> 1:24:53.320 the sun came up. 1:24:53.439 --> 1:24:54.080 Ooh. 1:24:54.240 --> 1:24:57.240 Now, fast forward a few months later, we're still hanging out, 1:24:57.320 --> 1:24:59.640 nothing serious. I found out he has a brother. My 1:24:59.680 --> 1:25:03.120 friend hooking up with his brother. Larry left his left 1:25:03.160 --> 1:25:05.360 town and his friends invited us out. Me and his 1:25:05.360 --> 1:25:08.120 brother were close, and this night we were just laughing 1:25:08.120 --> 1:25:10.439 at nothing at all. We were at a warehouse party 1:25:10.479 --> 1:25:13.240 with dancers and my friend got really drunk. We went 1:25:13.760 --> 1:25:16.080 so we went back to Larry's apartment and she's like, 1:25:16.120 --> 1:25:18.880 y'all are reviving. I'm gonna head out. I wasn't even 1:25:18.920 --> 1:25:20.320 planning on it, but here I am. 1:25:20.400 --> 1:25:21.840 This is the friend it was fucking Larry's brother. 1:25:22.000 --> 1:25:26.360 Yeah, okay, I wasn't even planning on it, but here 1:25:26.400 --> 1:25:28.799 I am being bent over in the shower getting spread 1:25:28.840 --> 1:25:30.439 like a warm butter on a biscuit. 1:25:31.680 --> 1:25:33.960 Well, dang, how is Larry going to feel about this? 1:25:34.400 --> 1:25:35.240 He was unbothered. 1:25:35.680 --> 1:25:38.080 So fast forward a few years later, I'm working as 1:25:38.080 --> 1:25:41.799 a broker's associate doing some home loans. My coworker, Oscar 1:25:41.840 --> 1:25:46.000 had been working for my BFF, my BSS boss for years. 1:25:46.280 --> 1:25:48.639 Kind of a scammer, but we're cool enough to find 1:25:48.640 --> 1:25:50.880 out he grew up in Dante and who were his 1:25:50.920 --> 1:25:51.880 neighbors growing up? 1:25:52.320 --> 1:25:53.240 Larry and his brother. 1:25:53.439 --> 1:25:56.200 Oh my god, that's a good one. 1:25:56.240 --> 1:25:59.439 That's a good one. Have you never fucked brother? Yeah, 1:26:00.000 --> 1:26:02.240 I'm gonna I remember as I said, brother. 1:26:02.400 --> 1:26:04.519 Yeah, And actually it was brought every time. 1:26:04.320 --> 1:26:07.400 We see either brother. She's like, remember the last time 1:26:07.400 --> 1:26:09.000 we saw him? Actually, I don't know if you were drunk, 1:26:09.000 --> 1:26:09.439 but she was. 1:26:09.479 --> 1:26:11.599 He was like, right, O, that's because the last time 1:26:11.640 --> 1:26:14.280 I saw him. He he brought it up, and you 1:26:14.360 --> 1:26:16.040 brought it up. I brought it up to you because 1:26:16.040 --> 1:26:16.760 he brought it up, but. 1:26:16.680 --> 1:26:18.519 You were so loud. I was like, he definitely can 1:26:18.600 --> 1:26:20.639 hear you. You're like, you're like, he remember him right here, 1:26:20.680 --> 1:26:21.559 this one in those shoes. 1:26:22.120 --> 1:26:23.080 I remember I. 1:26:23.120 --> 1:26:26.240 Slept with him and his brother. I was like, Eric, 1:26:26.960 --> 1:26:29.719 you're not a good whisperer. She's like what, no, remember. 1:26:30.080 --> 1:26:31.920 I was like, I was trying to shut you up, 1:26:32.280 --> 1:26:33.400 So that's why he brought it up. 1:26:33.400 --> 1:26:34.600 I remember you telling me he brought it up. I 1:26:34.600 --> 1:26:35.720 was like, he brought it up because he heard you 1:26:35.760 --> 1:26:36.200 tell me. 1:26:36.880 --> 1:26:38.519 He brought it up, and then was trying to act 1:26:38.560 --> 1:26:43.000 like They both like were like like got it, got 1:26:43.000 --> 1:26:45.599 the sauce, like like both like they put it down, 1:26:45.880 --> 1:26:48.320 and I was just like, let's stop talking about this 1:26:48.360 --> 1:26:50.320 because actually it runs in the family that both of 1:26:50.360 --> 1:26:51.000 you suck in bed. 1:26:51.240 --> 1:26:52.479 So they didn't put it down. 1:26:52.680 --> 1:26:55.880 No oh no, don't you remember that Nigga's house. 1:26:56.040 --> 1:26:58.200 I remember the house wasn't clean. I remember that. 1:26:58.760 --> 1:27:01.160 You know, it was all very un memory, all of it. 1:27:01.240 --> 1:27:04.200 I mean, kids, actually you generally have dirty house, really 1:27:04.200 --> 1:27:06.000 good time, but that's because we were doing drugs. The 1:27:06.080 --> 1:27:07.840 first the second brother, the brother who was at the party. 1:27:07.880 --> 1:27:09.000 You know he'd be doing drugs. 1:27:09.360 --> 1:27:11.680 I did, you could tell which one the one that 1:27:12.479 --> 1:27:15.880 the one at the party. Oh yeah, yeah, yay. Yeah, 1:27:16.000 --> 1:27:17.320 something was gone on. For sure. 1:27:17.360 --> 1:27:19.639 He's taken the party too far. He's gone for too 1:27:19.680 --> 1:27:22.360 long like that. We were like, let it go. Sometimes 1:27:22.360 --> 1:27:23.040 you got to age out. 1:27:23.120 --> 1:27:24.599 You got to some things you had to age out. 1:27:24.680 --> 1:27:26.280 Yeah, he has an aged out. I'm like, bro, you're 1:27:26.320 --> 1:27:27.920 still living a life and he just had a kid. 1:27:28.280 --> 1:27:32.160 Oh he did. Yeah. It's I've never done brothers. 1:27:32.200 --> 1:27:34.360 I've always felt too like you know what, that's where 1:27:34.840 --> 1:27:37.120 that's where my hoe guilt came, and like friends. 1:27:36.760 --> 1:27:39.880 Are brothers space in between. It wasn't necessarily this hoary. 1:27:39.920 --> 1:27:42.320 It wasn't like I was secretly having sex with two brothers. 1:27:42.680 --> 1:27:44.920 It was just like I slept with one and then 1:27:45.920 --> 1:27:49.599 the other one ended up coming around later and I said, 1:27:49.600 --> 1:27:51.479 I know, yeah, I know, you know, I know both 1:27:51.520 --> 1:27:53.559 y'all know me. Let's have some fun. 1:27:54.160 --> 1:27:56.360 I feel like, come on, give me some got the 1:27:56.400 --> 1:27:57.720 brothers get their brother dick. 1:28:01.200 --> 1:28:02.599 But no, that wasn't good brother day. 1:28:02.640 --> 1:28:04.160 I know, I get it. I mean, yeah, that was like. 1:28:04.360 --> 1:28:05.559 Yeah, that wasn't worth it. 1:28:06.439 --> 1:28:09.519 Well, if you have any brothers stories, or cousins stories, 1:28:09.640 --> 1:28:13.200 or oh dad and son stories, be sure to write in. 1:28:13.520 --> 1:28:15.760 I just I'm nosy. I want to know. I want 1:28:15.760 --> 1:28:16.840 to live vicariously through you. 1:28:17.080 --> 1:28:20.040 Yeah, I want to read them. Yeah out loud. 1:28:20.240 --> 1:28:24.360 Yeah, send in your horries, gals and guys, we truly 1:28:24.400 --> 1:28:25.120 appreciate it. 1:28:26.560 --> 1:28:29.200 Let's pick a card, my love. Okay, I think last 1:28:29.200 --> 1:28:32.799 episode I picked, So it's your turn. It's Terot time. 1:29:01.439 --> 1:29:04.519 What do the cards have to say? Oh? 1:29:04.600 --> 1:29:12.080 No, I guess six of the six of it's a pentagon. No, 1:29:12.160 --> 1:29:17.439 it's a coin pentacles, pentacles, six of pentacles, a pentagon. 1:29:18.280 --> 1:29:18.919 I reversed. 1:29:19.000 --> 1:29:21.240 It was, oh, you want to read it? Reversed? 1:29:21.280 --> 1:29:25.040 Don't feeling sicely straight straight up blist doesn't look too good. 1:29:25.080 --> 1:29:27.200 So I figured I'm gonna do it like it is 1:29:27.240 --> 1:29:27.679 this time. 1:29:27.880 --> 1:29:28.639 But let's see. 1:29:30.920 --> 1:29:37.280 Okay, six of pinnacles. Speaking of cards and tarroots, I'm 1:29:37.280 --> 1:29:40.760 getting a reading tomorrow by a psychic that my mom 1:29:41.360 --> 1:29:42.240 has recommended to me. 1:29:42.320 --> 1:29:44.400 Don't tell me how it goes, you know, I always secondhand. 1:29:44.520 --> 1:29:47.120 I second hand all of your I do. 1:29:47.520 --> 1:29:49.759 I try to make an appointment with the other psychic, 1:29:49.960 --> 1:29:53.760 but she's she always be so booked in it, like 1:29:53.800 --> 1:29:59.600 three months in advance, but this one she'd be ready reversed. 1:30:00.520 --> 1:30:07.240 Self care, unpaid debts, one sided charity hmm. The six 1:30:07.240 --> 1:30:09.160 of pinnacles reverse reminds you to make sure you are 1:30:09.200 --> 1:30:11.720 also giving to yourself. A little self care will go 1:30:11.760 --> 1:30:14.400 a long way, hun especially if you've been given in 1:30:14.439 --> 1:30:17.519 giving mode for a long time. Moms, consider buying a 1:30:17.520 --> 1:30:20.519 little gift to show yourself appreciation for everything you've done. 1:30:21.000 --> 1:30:24.960 Maybe a massage, a beautiful box of truffles, truffles, or 1:30:25.040 --> 1:30:27.360 simply write a love note to yourself to say, hey, 1:30:27.560 --> 1:30:30.719 thanks for everything. The six of Pinnacles reverse can suggest 1:30:30.760 --> 1:30:32.840 that while you are giving to others freely, they are 1:30:32.880 --> 1:30:35.479 not giving back in return. For example, you may lend 1:30:35.560 --> 1:30:37.240 money to a friend but they don't pay you back 1:30:37.320 --> 1:30:42.040 those kids. Or you help someone out but they fail 1:30:42.080 --> 1:30:45.000 to return the favor and show lack of gratitude appreciation 1:30:45.479 --> 1:30:51.680 those kids. It's a one way street. Yeah, oh my god. 1:30:51.720 --> 1:30:54.479 If you're struggling yourself, be careful that you don't do 1:30:54.520 --> 1:30:57.200 not over commit yourself to others who seek your help. 1:30:57.600 --> 1:30:59.519 You may have a tendency to spend or give away 1:30:59.520 --> 1:31:02.120 more than you can afford. While generous spirit is a 1:31:02.120 --> 1:31:04.400 wonderful quality, you need to ensure that you're able to 1:31:04.400 --> 1:31:07.839 support yourself while helping others. The Six of Pinnacles reverse 1:31:08.000 --> 1:31:11.559 asks you to be mindful about talking taking on debt. 1:31:11.920 --> 1:31:13.880 You are prone to getting in over your head and 1:31:13.920 --> 1:31:16.760 it may come to bite you with increasing interest rates 1:31:16.880 --> 1:31:18.920 or personal threats if you are unable to pay it 1:31:18.960 --> 1:31:22.760 back in time. In a relationship, reading the reverse six 1:31:22.760 --> 1:31:25.240 of Pinnacles suggests that one partner is doing a lot 1:31:25.240 --> 1:31:26.920 of the taking but not a lot of the giving, 1:31:27.320 --> 1:31:30.320 thus creating inequality in the relationship. You need to be 1:31:30.360 --> 1:31:33.320 careful that your generous spirit is not being taken advantage of, 1:31:33.479 --> 1:31:36.640 and that you are not always the one making compromises 1:31:36.680 --> 1:31:43.360 for your partner's benefit. Call that daddy, it's summertime. And 1:31:43.760 --> 1:31:47.160 another tip, Yeah, call the dad, call the family members 1:31:47.640 --> 1:31:50.840 now and make because don't be like I can't it's 1:31:50.880 --> 1:31:53.680 too last minute, bitch. Then fine, plan it ahead right now, 1:31:54.520 --> 1:31:57.240 advance for July first through the fifth. Matter of fact, 1:31:57.240 --> 1:31:58.840 it's fourth of July is time, honey, you need to 1:31:58.840 --> 1:32:01.479 go out and do some like some ratchet shit. Make 1:32:01.560 --> 1:32:04.920 plans and go do something for yourself on that holiday. 1:32:04.520 --> 1:32:06.600 And if you or something, and if you don't have 1:32:06.600 --> 1:32:10.320 any plans. On June nineteenth, I am co hosting a 1:32:10.360 --> 1:32:14.160 play party with the Epic the play the high end 1:32:14.280 --> 1:32:15.920 sex party that I went to that one time. Remember 1:32:15.960 --> 1:32:18.160 Michael the King, the Prince of play, who came on 1:32:18.200 --> 1:32:20.559 our show. If you haven't, go back and listen. But 1:32:20.640 --> 1:32:23.400 I've convinced him to do a Juneteenth party because that's 1:32:23.439 --> 1:32:24.880 what I do. I tell people what to do and 1:32:24.920 --> 1:32:28.320 they listen. And we're having a matrix themed party on Friday, 1:32:28.400 --> 1:32:29.599 June nineteenth, from. 1:32:31.320 --> 1:32:32.639 Nine pm before I am. 1:32:32.920 --> 1:32:34.679 It's going to be epic, it's going to be fun 1:32:34.760 --> 1:32:38.080 in La in La, and I'm not gonna lie. He 1:32:38.080 --> 1:32:40.519 he knows what he's doing in the play party fields. 1:32:40.640 --> 1:32:43.040 So if you've never experienced a play party, this is 1:32:43.040 --> 1:32:45.200 the time to become experience it. If something you've never done, 1:32:45.240 --> 1:32:47.040 step out of the box, if you're curious. If you've 1:32:47.040 --> 1:32:49.840 been curious, there's obviously no pressure. You don't have to 1:32:49.960 --> 1:32:51.800 do anything sexual, but you can dress up. 1:32:51.880 --> 1:32:54.160 You can. It's open bar, there's gonna be food. 1:32:54.640 --> 1:32:56.760 You know it's sexy, so come do some sexy shit 1:32:56.800 --> 1:33:00.160 for yourself, some adult shit, and everybody's tested and you 1:33:00.240 --> 1:33:03.040 have to apply. So click the link in this bio 1:33:03.280 --> 1:33:06.400 and DM me I'll see you at the party. 1:33:06.479 --> 1:33:07.400 This is what you're gonna do for. 1:33:07.400 --> 1:33:11.200 Yourself, boom. And if you want to do something a 1:33:11.200 --> 1:33:14.240 little longer term, then come to the Good Vibe Retreat 1:33:14.360 --> 1:33:16.760 that's next month, so you can just make plans for 1:33:16.840 --> 1:33:19.880 June and July. You might as well start the plans now, 1:33:20.240 --> 1:33:22.640 because that's the problem with moms and women and just 1:33:22.640 --> 1:33:25.479 people in general. We don't plan ahead. That's part of 1:33:25.479 --> 1:33:27.080 the way. That's part of growing up, babe. 1:33:27.160 --> 1:33:28.720 And if you can't get a sitter, we even have 1:33:28.760 --> 1:33:30.600 a mom and me retreat, so there's no excuse to 1:33:30.600 --> 1:33:34.400 bring your daughters to the retreat. Come build memories with 1:33:34.439 --> 1:33:37.280 your child with other children so they can go play together, 1:33:37.320 --> 1:33:39.519 because that is also a part. Find your friends and 1:33:39.520 --> 1:33:42.479 friends that you like their moms and come to the retreat. 1:33:42.479 --> 1:33:44.840 Find some new friends and go on vacation, make some 1:33:44.880 --> 1:33:48.280 new memories. Don't make excuses. And so there's only a 1:33:48.320 --> 1:33:51.000 couple of spots left for that mommy and Me retreat too. 1:33:51.120 --> 1:33:53.000 Yeah, I think there's like two spots left so come 1:33:53.040 --> 1:33:55.639 hang out with us this summer in Costa Rica. Come 1:33:55.720 --> 1:33:58.840 to the Juneteenth sex party, because that's gonna be fucking epic. 1:33:58.840 --> 1:33:59.880 I gotta get my fits to go. 1:34:00.600 --> 1:34:02.160 I haven't. Yeah, I gotta get my fits together too, 1:34:02.160 --> 1:34:02.919 But I feel. 1:34:02.680 --> 1:34:04.120 Like there's only one fit, right. It's just like the 1:34:04.160 --> 1:34:07.000 jacket and the jacket. What can I gotta look up 1:34:07.000 --> 1:34:08.960 interest There's probably some creative things happening. 1:34:09.040 --> 1:34:10.880 Yeah, And I also feel like it's like. 1:34:10.880 --> 1:34:13.200 Ohh I go oh, maybe that's why I need to shave. 1:34:13.000 --> 1:34:17.320 My head bald, That's why I that car party. Yeah. 1:34:17.439 --> 1:34:19.160 But yeah, all you need is let the jacket and 1:34:19.200 --> 1:34:20.040 I have some boots. 1:34:20.360 --> 1:34:22.280 And if you are a bitch that wants to shave 1:34:22.320 --> 1:34:24.639 your head in California, then you know what to do. 1:34:24.680 --> 1:34:26.800 You hit me up, you DM me at Watch Erica 1:34:26.840 --> 1:34:28.479 if you too want to be a bald headed bitch 1:34:28.560 --> 1:34:28.760 like me. 1:34:31.160 --> 1:34:37.000 Do have an affirmation for today's episode. 1:34:39.400 --> 1:34:40.960 Mom guilt doesn't exist anymore. 1:34:41.720 --> 1:34:42.840 We're deleting our mom guilt. 1:34:42.840 --> 1:34:44.080 We're deleting our mom guilt. 1:34:44.120 --> 1:34:48.080 In twenty twenty six, we're deleting our mom guilt. YEP, 1:34:48.200 --> 1:34:48.600 I like it. 1:34:48.800 --> 1:34:51.879 Delete your mom guilt, de lead your mom guilt. Yeah, Elite, 1:34:52.400 --> 1:34:56.800 delete your motherfucking mom guilt. Thank you guys for joining 1:34:56.840 --> 1:34:59.599 us for another episode of good Moms where we laugh, 1:35:00.800 --> 1:35:04.080 we smoke, and we tell epic core stories. 1:35:05.520 --> 1:35:07.160 Make sure you join our discord because you get all 1:35:07.160 --> 1:35:08.840 this shit for free, y'all. You just get to click 1:35:08.880 --> 1:35:10.800 on YouTube and boom. If you want to be part 1:35:10.800 --> 1:35:13.040 of our community. It's five dollars a month and you 1:35:13.080 --> 1:35:15.160 get to interact with us one on one. You get 1:35:15.200 --> 1:35:17.439 to meet other moms, other humans in. 1:35:17.400 --> 1:35:20.160 Your city, in your community that are fun moms, that 1:35:20.160 --> 1:35:23.519 are cool moms that are asking for advice, giving advice. 1:35:23.640 --> 1:35:26.639 That there were pumping each other up. We're sharing nudes 1:35:26.680 --> 1:35:28.360 because you got to get someone to pump you up. 1:35:28.840 --> 1:35:31.680 And yeah, it's really beautiful over there. It's a nice 1:35:31.720 --> 1:35:34.200 little community. There's like a thousand women on there. Yeah, 1:35:34.360 --> 1:35:36.400 so you're own a little app on discord, guys who 1:35:37.000 --> 1:35:37.400 we do. 1:35:38.240 --> 1:35:40.600 So click the link in this episode for all the 1:35:40.640 --> 1:35:43.680 links and all the things, and we love you and 1:35:43.680 --> 1:35:44.559 we'll see you next week. 1:35:45.000 --> 1:35:48.560 Ye