WEBVTT - It's Not Him, It's You! 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.159 Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:16.840 and the Black Effect, And just like that, we're back 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:18.599 on the air. Welcome back to you got another carefully 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:20.400 reckless episode with your girl, just hilarious. 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:22.440 I'm gonna be jumping in. 0:00:22.400 --> 0:00:24.160 Just fixing the mess. We got a voice note. Y'all 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:25.840 know how I feel about voice notes, y'all. 0:00:25.880 --> 0:00:27.840 I love a voice memo. 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:30.880 One time voice notes went against me though, when I 0:00:30.960 --> 0:00:32.319 was talking about April Yard. 0:00:32.320 --> 0:00:32.840 Remember that shit. 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:35.120 I was talking about April the Moni's and then she 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:37.120 played that shit back when I was sitting in April 0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:41.360 Kitchen on Live that day. Oh my god, I can 0:00:41.400 --> 0:00:45.320 definitely laugh now, but that shit was so fucking intense 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:46.200 and embarrassing. 0:00:47.159 --> 0:00:49.280 I was sweating on the inside. I hate that. 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:51.839 So y'all stop sending voice notes unless you're sending them 0:00:51.840 --> 0:00:52.840 to me to fix your mess. 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:54.279 All right, So here we go. We about to jump 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:54.960 straight in. 0:00:56.000 --> 0:00:59.040 Hey, Jess, I've recorded a million voice deleted all of them. 0:00:59.080 --> 0:01:00.880 I just want to try to keep this shorten speek. 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:04.160 First of all, I love you, so here it is. 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:07.399 I've been dating this guy for nine months. A little 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:10.199 bit into our relationship, he told me that this girl 0:01:10.240 --> 0:01:12.920 that he had one night standing with before getting with 0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:16.399 me was pregnant. Then she went back to the island 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:19.600 that she was from, and she was like, I think 0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:22.640 he said, like six months pregnant already, and that she 0:01:22.760 --> 0:01:24.920 had just called him and told him that he didn't 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:26.280 want to lose me and stuff, but he wanted to 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:27.560 tell me because he wanted to be honest. 0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:29.880 Like and I appreciate dnasty. 0:01:29.959 --> 0:01:32.560 I am emotional, So I did cry about it, but 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:35.880 eventually I did get over it. Keep in mind, this 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:39.319 man has four kids by four different women. This is 0:01:39.360 --> 0:01:42.000 all well, she's the fourth one now, but when I 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:44.119 had first met him, it was just three kids by 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:47.160 three different women that I already know people could see 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:49.320 as a red flag. I personally just just like, you 0:01:49.360 --> 0:01:52.560 know what, I don't want to judge somebody off their past. 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:56.120 Like and we're Hispanic, and we're like two different kinds 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:58.360 of Hispanics, so and in his but I was raised 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:01.240 here and he was raised and his island and over 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:05.040 there everything is different. So I could see how with 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:07.480 no guidance and stuff like that, like with the way 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:10.160 they raised their kids over there, how he got into 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:12.320 this mess where three kids by three different women. 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:15.720 He has told me like he loves his kids. You know, 0:02:15.760 --> 0:02:16.640 he's a great father. 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:19.240 He obviously lives here and his kids live in the 0:02:19.280 --> 0:02:21.680 island still with their mom, the three of them, but 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:24.360 he always sends for what they need and stuff like that, 0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:26.000 not to them daily, stuff like that. 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:27.520 You know, he does what he can. 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:30.320 It is a poor island, so he kind of doesn't 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:32.520 want to go back, but he is working on getting 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:35.480 visas for them to come visit and stuff like that, 0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:36.760 and even want. 0:02:36.720 --> 0:02:37.399 To live with him. 0:02:37.800 --> 0:02:41.280 So fast forward to this new kid he has. She did, 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:43.800 like like I said, she was in her island. She 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:46.919 came back from her island like two weeks ago. He's 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:50.320 seen the baby once and I was just with him 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:54.120 and he said that the baby is coming tomorrow to 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:58.600 his apartment and both his sons. He has one son 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:02.320 that lives here. I'm sorry for clarification because I didn't realize. 0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:04.160 I just messed it up. He has two kids that 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:07.079 live on the island. One that lives here was his 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:09.320 mother and then the new baby. 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:10.880 I don't know what to go, just let's call on 0:03:10.960 --> 0:03:11.280 the baby. 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:14.280 This new baby, baby damn name. 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:17.600 So he told me that tomorrow morning because I was 0:03:17.639 --> 0:03:20.160 going to sleep over his place, but my sister wanted 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:21.320 me to take her somewhere, so I was like, I'm 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:22.959 gonna leave, and he was like, that's fine because his 0:03:23.080 --> 0:03:25.919 kids are coming in the morning anyway, and I was like, kids, 0:03:26.000 --> 0:03:27.880 so they're both coming and he's like, yeah, he wants 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:30.080 them to meet. I don't know why that made me 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:33.280 feel a certain way. I feel like, so it's not 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:35.240 about the kids, honestly. The kids are brothers. 0:03:35.280 --> 0:03:37.360 They're gonna know to meet. But it just thinks me 0:03:37.400 --> 0:03:37.880 a little bit. 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:42.240 Honestly, every time he mentions like, I think the problem 0:03:42.320 --> 0:03:44.920 is is because I haven't met the kids. It doesn't 0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:47.560 always feel real that this man has kids, you know, 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:51.880 And one of my problems like I haven't met the kids. 0:03:52.040 --> 0:03:53.120 I understand that two. 0:03:53.000 --> 0:03:56.040 Of them are in on their island, so obviously I 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:57.800 can't meet them right now. 0:03:58.040 --> 0:04:01.560 It is here, I feel like I should be to meet. 0:04:01.120 --> 0:04:03.440 So the one that lives here, you feel like you 0:04:03.480 --> 0:04:06.280 should be able to meet that when I understand we've. 0:04:06.080 --> 0:04:08.120 Been together for nine months and I don't know how 0:04:08.160 --> 0:04:10.240 people feel, but I feel like that's enough time for 0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:13.320 me personally to meet someone's child, especially if you're trying. 0:04:13.360 --> 0:04:14.760 If you're taking me serious, you're. 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:17.680 Talking about we're in love, like we're gonna get married 0:04:17.720 --> 0:04:21.520 one day, like stuff like that. I feel like, okay, 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:23.560 so let me meet your child. This is a part 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:25.040 of you, This is a part of your blood. 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:27.880 This is someone who has a piece, a huge piece 0:04:27.920 --> 0:04:28.440 of your heart. 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:30.800 I can tell by the way he talks about him, 0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:33.440 So I should be able to meet him. 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:35.320 Is she our way to class? 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:36.840 She's zipping up book bags and shit. 0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:41.800 Anyways, back to my current mess that I want advice on. 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:44.920 The kids are going to meet each other tomorrow. It's 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:47.200 not about that, it's about the baby. Mom's like, he 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:50.000 just got a new apartment. We didn't move in together. 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:51.640 We were going to, but we were like, you know what, 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:54.560 it's way too soon. I have a crazy home situation. 0:04:54.640 --> 0:04:57.280 So that's the reason we were going to. But we're like, 0:04:57.279 --> 0:05:01.160 it's too soon. We need still getting to know each other. 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:03.440 We love each other, but you know, we're still getting 0:05:03.440 --> 0:05:06.400 to know each other and we need time to miss 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:06.960 each other. 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:09.000 You know. You know stuff like that. 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:11.799 Yeah, for sure, especially after only nine months of dating. 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:14.920 Don't do that. I'm completely fine with that. 0:05:15.120 --> 0:05:16.840 Also, he wanted me to he said, like he wanted 0:05:16.839 --> 0:05:19.560 me to get to know his kid beforehand, like so 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:21.760 that his kid doesn't come to sleep over his place 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:22.600 and just see. 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:25.360 Like this random woman there that he doesn't know. 0:05:25.440 --> 0:05:28.880 He said, he's never introduced another girlfriend besides, like the 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:32.719 kid's actual mother to his child, so it's new to 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:33.520 his kid, you know. 0:05:33.839 --> 0:05:36.000 So he wanted to ease that aunt him slowly, which 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:37.520 I respected and I understood. 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:41.000 So we don't live together, but we do have occasional sleepovers, 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:45.080 and it just kind of bothers me that these baby 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:47.320 moms are going to his new place, Like. 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:50.120 I don't know why, Like I don't know why it 0:05:50.160 --> 0:05:50.640 bothers me. 0:05:50.880 --> 0:05:53.839 I feel like it's it's something weird, Like I feel 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:54.640 like that's a weird feeling. 0:05:54.640 --> 0:05:56.400 I shouldn't feel like that, Like it's weird to feel 0:05:56.400 --> 0:05:58.400 like that, Like these are his baby mothers. 0:05:58.440 --> 0:06:01.360 Obviously they're going to be going and they're gonna need 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:03.800 to know his address, you know, to drop off the. 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:07.919 Kid, I think, and then I'll let you finish and 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:09.159 by the way to supre recording. 0:06:10.279 --> 0:06:11.440 I think you. 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:15.039 Feel that way because what your relationship lacks. 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:17.400 But let's see, I don't have. 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:20.000 A problem with the baby mother. 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:22.640 From the older kid. It's this new kid. 0:06:23.040 --> 0:06:25.320 I feel like, like me and were even talking about 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:28.039 it that we feel like her plan was that she 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:31.039 wanted to go to her eyeld and keep that pregnancy 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:33.359 a secret until she couldn't get rid of that pregnancy 0:06:33.800 --> 0:06:36.880 and hopes that he'll be like, oh yeah, like you're 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:38.520 having my kid, let's try. 0:06:38.279 --> 0:06:40.480 To be again family stuff like that. 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:42.120 Because she wanted to be more than a friend. 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:45.159 He told me, like you told me tonight, that she 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:47.760 did go to his other house when he lived with 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:50.200 his mom a few times that she would just pull 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:52.200 up on him and stuff and just like I guess 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:54.880 keep them company when he was redoing the floors and 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:55.960 things like that. 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:57.560 That was weird to me, And I was like, did 0:06:57.600 --> 0:06:59.560 you have sex with her on this bed that we're on? 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:01.240 Like no, Like she. 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:03.599 Never went into my room. I don't. I have trust issues, 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:05.520 you know, And that's my biggest problem. 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:07.800 I feel like I have trauma for my past relationship 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:10.600 and I put it onto this man so much. And 0:07:10.720 --> 0:07:13.920 like I said, the way that like a lot of 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:16.680 these freaking I'm just gonna say. 0:07:16.520 --> 0:07:19.000 He used Dominicans. I'm trying to hide the race so bad. 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:23.120 But have these Dominicans they are cheaters out here, Like 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:24.080 that's what they're known for. 0:07:24.120 --> 0:07:27.720 You half the Dominicans cheaters out here. Every goddamn race 0:07:27.760 --> 0:07:28.960 got cheetad Like. 0:07:28.840 --> 0:07:33.160 He's proven to me that he's different. I mean, at 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:35.960 least that's what I get from everything. 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:39.120 Going to Texas and she's doing a lot of shit, 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:40.280 and these. 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:42.600 Nights the last nine months have been great. 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:46.520 With us, Like we've obviously had some little arguments and 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:50.080 stuff like that. But I used to get mad at 0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:51.760 one point and I was like, yeah, we can break up. 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:53.680 If you really wanted to. But I stopped doing that 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:55.200 because that sounds like and I don't want to be 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:58.080 talking and I don't want to break up. I like 0:07:58.160 --> 0:07:59.080 to communicate and work. 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:01.320 Don't want to bring up every day. 0:08:01.400 --> 0:08:02.680 I'm getting better and better at that. 0:08:03.040 --> 0:08:06.280 I just really feel weird about like his baby mom's 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:09.800 going to his apartment and specifically the new baby mom, 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:12.240 Like I feel like she's gonna be sneaky or try 0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:15.840 to get up to something like And I guess for Repo, 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:18.520 all that comes down to is him because she could 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:18.920 try that. 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:20.640 Stuff, but it's about what he's gonna do. 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:25.120 So I want to have the trust in him that 0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:29.040 he'll respect me, respect our relationship, and even himself enough 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:34.480 to not do anything stupid. He did tell me before, like, oh, 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:37.439 if he stops talking to somebody or like dating somebody, 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:39.600 he doesn't go back to them, Like that's not the 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:40.559 type of person. 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:41.840 He is, and he doesn't prefer that. 0:08:41.880 --> 0:08:44.080 Like if it ended, it ended for a reason, so 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:47.960 there's no reason to double back. So honestly, I keep 0:08:48.040 --> 0:08:48.840 dying my head a lot. 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:50.120 So I'm just like. 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:52.360 You know, like he won't go back, like to help 0:08:52.400 --> 0:08:55.000 myself feel better basically, but I don't know for sure, 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:58.400 Like it's scary to me my trust issues. Even when 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:01.840 he opens his phone, I'm like, dang, like he's probably 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:02.960 texting another bench. 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:05.120 I don't know why, Like I be feeling like he's 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:06.679 just being sneaky, but. 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:09.319 Then he always does things or says things, you know, 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:11.320 and I'm just like, he's not even being sneaky. 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:14.000 Like for example, like I could be like, bro, he's. 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:16.680 Literally texting another Brich right now, and I see his 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:18.680 phone and it's just his brother, like I said, like, 0:09:19.640 --> 0:09:23.480 or it'll be just a friend and sometimes it will. 0:09:23.280 --> 0:09:24.880 Be a female and he'll see that. 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:26.640 I feel a certain way because I. 0:09:26.920 --> 0:09:29.800 Like, I wear my emotions on my face, bro, And 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:31.679 he'll tell me like, oh, yeah, this is my friend, 0:09:31.760 --> 0:09:35.160 like she lives up here, like we known each other 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:36.720 for this while, Like he'll explain it to me because 0:09:36.720 --> 0:09:40.200 he seees that I'm overthinking. I overthink everything. I stress 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:41.280 about everything. 0:09:41.120 --> 0:09:42.599 And I just want to like I feel like I 0:09:42.640 --> 0:09:46.760 can trust him, but I want, girl, please fully trust him. 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:50.120 And so my question is really, just do you think 0:09:50.200 --> 0:09:53.079 that I'm tripping? Like do you think I'm doing too much? 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:55.720 Like I don't know how to feel like I feel 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:58.440 like they're the only advice that is to give is 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:02.160 just pray, prayer that he is loyal, like you know, 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:02.880 I pray them. 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:03.920 He says to me. 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:05.040 It's true that you. 0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:07.440 Know all he wants is me, and like I ain't 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:09.440 laying and you know because it is about prayer, because 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:12.200 you know, a sister praise. I'm a godfearing woman and 0:10:12.240 --> 0:10:15.800 I pray every day. But baby, as much as I 0:10:15.840 --> 0:10:18.560 love to pray, let me just let you finish, girl. 0:10:18.880 --> 0:10:19.679 But I don't know. 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:23.600 My only concern is my only problem that I've had 0:10:23.679 --> 0:10:27.439 in this relationship is coping with the fact that this 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:29.120 man has kids, like it's not even the fact that 0:10:29.160 --> 0:10:31.640 he has kids, it's just the baby moms. Like, I'm 0:10:31.640 --> 0:10:34.319 not sad about the kids. Honestly, in my head, I've 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:36.040 always said, like I wanted a big family, but I 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:39.319 didn't want to push out the kids. So that's why 0:10:39.400 --> 0:10:40.679 I wasn't too concerned. 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:42.080 About right, So you got what you want. What's your 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:44.200 problems but not having to have the kids? 0:10:44.240 --> 0:10:46.840 You know, obviously it's step kids, but I feel like 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:48.080 I would make a great mother. 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:49.960 I would push out like maybe two. 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:52.040 But I don't want to push out more than two. 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:54.920 But I do want more than two, and I feel 0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:59.720 like taking on his kids would make me feel great 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:01.960 and obviously not right now, we're still. 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:03.160 Dating, we're still. 0:11:03.679 --> 0:11:05.760 Getting to know each other every single day, but like 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:06.840 in our future. 0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:11.439 So yeah, do you just in conclusion to end this up? 0:11:11.600 --> 0:11:15.319 Like, do you think that I am taking over this 0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:17.880 whole baby mom situation? Do you think that I need 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:22.320 to learn to just release and believe in him or 0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:25.240 should I be nervous like you think she's gonna try. 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:25.720 To be sneaky? 0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:27.880 Hold up, Hold up, I know this shit getting good, 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:30.200 but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:31.400 If you love me, you'll listen. 0:11:32.880 --> 0:11:35.360 Also to add, another thing that earns in my soul 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:38.520 like that like gets me overthinking is the fact that 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:41.360 so we work third shift, right, and sometimes We'll get 0:11:41.360 --> 0:11:43.000 home at six in the morning and I see a 0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:46.400 notification pop up from the new baby mom, and I'm like, 0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:47.839 y'all are texting at this time? 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:51.280 Yeah, yeah, we're talking about the baby or stuff like that, 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:53.000 or she's sending me pictures. 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:56.760 Or like He'll tell me like we're just talking, because 0:11:56.760 --> 0:11:59.400 he always tells me like he makes his baby moms his. 0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:01.800 Friends, like he does a reason to have them. 0:12:01.640 --> 0:12:04.720 As like enemies or anything, right right, rightfully, so you know, 0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:08.760 they're just friends and co parents, which is good. So 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:10.559 that's a the other thing that I just be like, Okay, 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:12.480 maybe it's like that, but I don't know. It doesn't 0:12:12.520 --> 0:12:14.040 sit right to me, Like why you want to be 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:16.400 buddy buddy with your baby mother, like. 0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:17.559 Cause you can. 0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:21.040 Why first of all, why is it a stigma put 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:26.559 on the relationships between baby mother and baby father after 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:27.640 the intimacy is gone? 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:28.640 Why is it? Why? 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:30.640 Why do I have to beef with my baby father? 0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:32.560 Why do I have to beef with my baby mother? 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:35.880 Just so you can feel secure in a relationship. That's 0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:38.160 that's a general question. But this is one more that 0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:39.120 she one more thinks. 0:12:39.000 --> 0:12:40.880 She had to say. Then I'm gonna get into her mess. 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:44.520 But he does give me the impression that he doesn't 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:46.080 have no desire to be with them. 0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:48.160 But I don't know if she's a poker face, like 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:49.720 I don't know how to feel. 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:54.320 Okay, So, baby girl, you are everywhere with it. When 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:57.560 I say everywhere, I mean you hear they're up, down, back, 0:12:57.600 --> 0:12:59.280 with sideways, all of that. 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:02.000 You up and down the freeway with this, all right. 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:06.440 A man does not have to beef with the mothers 0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:10.520 of his kids, or the mother of his child or children. 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:13.960 Speaking more so in general and to your situation. Like 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:16.000 I said, I think it's just been a stigma. You know, 0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:21.640 I've had a few involvements myself where the guy did 0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:24.320 not like how close I was with my son's dad. 0:13:24.360 --> 0:13:26.600 Me and my son's dad are not attracted to each other, 0:13:26.880 --> 0:13:30.079 not by far, like, in no way, shape or form. 0:13:30.120 --> 0:13:30.320 You know. 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:31.920 That's why we're able to do business together. 0:13:31.960 --> 0:13:34.280 That's why we're able to talk to each other about 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:37.440 any and everything because there's no more feelings there. 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:38.559 I love him. 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:41.000 He loves me, but that's all we do is co parent. 0:13:41.320 --> 0:13:43.800 We're more like siblings, if you will. I know that's 0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:47.280 weird and that's just inappropriate to say or to take in, 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:50.199 but that's what it is. I'm just trying to describe 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:53.680 how much we don't fuck with each other like that 0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:55.920 on that intimate level, you know what I mean. And 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:59.040 that may be the reason why me and my son's dad, 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:03.720 who also had for other children's moms, are the closest 0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:05.200 of us, all of them all. 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:06.160 He's the closest with me. 0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:09.480 Now, you said you don't have a problem with the 0:14:09.480 --> 0:14:12.680 first baby mom, Okay, and that seems to be because 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.320 they probably don't deal with each other at all. But 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:18.120 I don't even think the issue is with him. I 0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:20.800 think the issue is with whoever the fuck did a 0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:24.080 number on you before you got with this man. Because 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:27.760 the good thing about it is you're aware. 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:29.040 You know, you know. 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:31.720 I'm not gonna say you're fucked up, but you are 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:36.240 insecure your last relationship or last relationships, or it could 0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:38.120 even be something stemming from your childhood. 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:38.880 Who knows you. 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:40.960 Know yourself better than I do, but I know you 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:43.920 need to know that you are insecure, and you could 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:45.960 be running this man away, You could be pushing this 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:46.440 man away. 0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:48.480 Now, this is just one perspective. 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:50.200 To look at it from all, right, because you said 0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:52.800 you insinuate certain things and then you go do your 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:54.960 research and you realize that it's nothing. Has he ever 0:14:55.040 --> 0:15:00.760 done anything anything to make you feel like he would 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:03.120 cheat on you with one of that his children's moms, 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:05.880 or or cheat on you with another woman period or 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:08.400 you know, well, I'll just keep it subjected to baby 0:15:08.400 --> 0:15:11.680 moms because you never brought up another woman. So my apologies, 0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:15.360 this is only about his kids moms. Okay, has he 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:18.120 ever done anything? Have you ever actually caught him doing anything? 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:19.320 Have you ever? 0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:21.280 Because it honestly just sounds like. 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:24.920 He gives you his word and you have to take it, 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:28.560 but because you're so fucked up from your last relationship, 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:30.360 you still don't take it. 0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:31.479 You don't trust. 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:32.880 Them, And do you turn around and say you can 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:34.520 trust them, but then say you just want to be 0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:36.360 able to trust them fully, You don't need to be 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:39.680 in a relationship. You're not even over what happened to 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:41.200 you in the past, and I saying you're not over 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:44.320 the last man. You're not over what happened to you. 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:47.200 You're not, and you're throwing it off on him. Everything 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:49.960 that you cause. This is called baggage. You're throwing your 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:52.640 baggage onto him. And he already got four kids with 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:54.920 four different baby moms. Two of them live on island, 0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:56.880 one of them live in America, of when live in 0:15:56.880 --> 0:15:57.400 that target. 0:15:57.560 --> 0:15:59.720 Girl, you know, what's a lot going on, all right? 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:03.600 But you been dating this man for nine months and 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:04.920 you never met his kids. 0:16:05.040 --> 0:16:06.680 Now that is a red flag for me. 0:16:07.080 --> 0:16:10.640 If I'm dating you for nine months exclusively, yes, I 0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:12.800 expect to have met your children by now. 0:16:13.120 --> 0:16:14.520 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:17.400 Even back when I was dating Wayne, we were both 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:20.680 our schedules were busy, but I was gonna meet his kids. 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:22.400 I was supposed to meet his kids a few. 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:24.480 Times, you know, but our schedules were We both tore 0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:26.800 it and everything like that, and we were the own. 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:29.280 Me and Wayne only made it for four months, but 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:32.720 I was gonna meet us kids after the second month, 0:16:32.840 --> 0:16:35.080 you know, And whether the mom's liked it or not, 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:38.760 their dad is still their parent and still had half 0:16:38.800 --> 0:16:40.800 of say so, and you know, when they are in 0:16:40.880 --> 0:16:44.440 his care. So I don't understand why you're not invited 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:46.360 when his kids are there, or why you're not welcome 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:47.200