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Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio

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Speaker 1: and the Black Effect, And just like that, we're back

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Speaker 1: on the air. Welcome back to you got another carefully

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Speaker 1: reckless episode with your girl, just hilarious.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna be jumping in.

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Speaker 1: Just fixing the mess. We got a voice note. Y'all

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Speaker 1: know how I feel about voice notes, y'all.

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Speaker 2: I love a voice memo.

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Speaker 1: One time voice notes went against me though, when I

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Speaker 1: was talking about April Yard.

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Speaker 2: Remember that shit.

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Speaker 1: I was talking about April the Moni's and then she

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Speaker 1: played that shit back when I was sitting in April

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Speaker 1: Kitchen on Live that day. Oh my god, I can

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Speaker 1: definitely laugh now, but that shit was so fucking intense

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Speaker 1: and embarrassing.

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Speaker 2: I was sweating on the inside. I hate that.

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Speaker 1: So y'all stop sending voice notes unless you're sending them

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Speaker 1: to me to fix your mess.

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Speaker 2: All right, So here we go. We about to jump

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Speaker 2: straight in.

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Speaker 3: Hey, Jess, I've recorded a million voice deleted all of them.

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Speaker 3: I just want to try to keep this shorten speek.

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Speaker 3: First of all, I love you, so here it is.

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Speaker 3: I've been dating this guy for nine months. A little

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Speaker 3: bit into our relationship, he told me that this girl

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Speaker 3: that he had one night standing with before getting with

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Speaker 3: me was pregnant. Then she went back to the island

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Speaker 3: that she was from, and she was like, I think

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Speaker 3: he said, like six months pregnant already, and that she

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Speaker 3: had just called him and told him that he didn't

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Speaker 3: want to lose me and stuff, but he wanted to

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Speaker 3: tell me because he wanted to be honest.

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Speaker 4: Like and I appreciate dnasty.

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Speaker 3: I am emotional, So I did cry about it, but

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Speaker 3: eventually I did get over it. Keep in mind, this

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Speaker 3: man has four kids by four different women. This is

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Speaker 3: all well, she's the fourth one now, but when I

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Speaker 3: had first met him, it was just three kids by

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Speaker 3: three different women that I already know people could see

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Speaker 3: as a red flag. I personally just just like, you

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Speaker 3: know what, I don't want to judge somebody off their past.

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Speaker 3: Like and we're Hispanic, and we're like two different kinds

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Speaker 3: of Hispanics, so and in his but I was raised

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Speaker 3: here and he was raised and his island and over

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Speaker 3: there everything is different. So I could see how with

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Speaker 3: no guidance and stuff like that, like with the way

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Speaker 3: they raised their kids over there, how he got into

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Speaker 3: this mess where three kids by three different women.

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Speaker 4: He has told me like he loves his kids. You know,

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Speaker 4: he's a great father.

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Speaker 3: He obviously lives here and his kids live in the

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Speaker 3: island still with their mom, the three of them, but

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Speaker 3: he always sends for what they need and stuff like that,

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Speaker 3: not to them daily, stuff like that.

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Speaker 4: You know, he does what he can.

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Speaker 3: It is a poor island, so he kind of doesn't

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Speaker 3: want to go back, but he is working on getting

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Speaker 3: visas for them to come visit and stuff like that,

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Speaker 3: and even want.

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Speaker 4: To live with him.

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Speaker 3: So fast forward to this new kid he has. She did,

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Speaker 3: like like I said, she was in her island. She

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Speaker 3: came back from her island like two weeks ago. He's

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Speaker 3: seen the baby once and I was just with him

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Speaker 3: and he said that the baby is coming tomorrow to

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Speaker 3: his apartment and both his sons. He has one son

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Speaker 3: that lives here. I'm sorry for clarification because I didn't realize.

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Speaker 3: I just messed it up. He has two kids that

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Speaker 3: live on the island. One that lives here was his

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Speaker 3: mother and then the new baby.

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Speaker 4: I don't know what to go, just let's call on

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Speaker 4: the baby.

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Speaker 2: This new baby, baby damn name.

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Speaker 3: So he told me that tomorrow morning because I was

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Speaker 3: going to sleep over his place, but my sister wanted

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Speaker 3: me to take her somewhere, so I was like, I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna leave, and he was like, that's fine because his

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Speaker 3: kids are coming in the morning anyway, and I was like, kids,

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Speaker 3: so they're both coming and he's like, yeah, he wants

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Speaker 3: them to meet. I don't know why that made me

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Speaker 3: feel a certain way. I feel like, so it's not

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Speaker 3: about the kids, honestly. The kids are brothers.

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Speaker 4: They're gonna know to meet. But it just thinks me

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Speaker 4: a little bit.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, every time he mentions like, I think the problem

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Speaker 3: is is because I haven't met the kids. It doesn't

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Speaker 3: always feel real that this man has kids, you know,

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Speaker 3: And one of my problems like I haven't met the kids.

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Speaker 4: I understand that two.

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Speaker 3: Of them are in on their island, so obviously I

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Speaker 3: can't meet them right now.

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Speaker 4: It is here, I feel like I should be to meet.

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Speaker 1: So the one that lives here, you feel like you

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Speaker 1: should be able to meet that when I understand we've.

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Speaker 3: Been together for nine months and I don't know how

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Speaker 3: people feel, but I feel like that's enough time for

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Speaker 3: me personally to meet someone's child, especially if you're trying.

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Speaker 4: If you're taking me serious, you're.

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Speaker 3: Talking about we're in love, like we're gonna get married

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Speaker 3: one day, like stuff like that. I feel like, okay,

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Speaker 3: so let me meet your child. This is a part

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Speaker 3: of you, This is a part of your blood.

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Speaker 4: This is someone who has a piece, a huge piece

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Speaker 4: of your heart.

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Speaker 3: I can tell by the way he talks about him,

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Speaker 3: So I should be able to meet him.

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Speaker 4: Is she our way to class?

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Speaker 2: She's zipping up book bags and shit.

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Speaker 3: Anyways, back to my current mess that I want advice on.

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Speaker 3: The kids are going to meet each other tomorrow. It's

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Speaker 3: not about that, it's about the baby. Mom's like, he

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Speaker 3: just got a new apartment. We didn't move in together.

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Speaker 3: We were going to, but we were like, you know what,

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Speaker 3: it's way too soon. I have a crazy home situation.

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Speaker 3: So that's the reason we were going to. But we're like,

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Speaker 3: it's too soon. We need still getting to know each other.

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Speaker 3: We love each other, but you know, we're still getting

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Speaker 3: to know each other and we need time to miss

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Speaker 3: each other.

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Speaker 4: You know. You know stuff like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, especially after only nine months of dating.

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Speaker 4: Don't do that. I'm completely fine with that.

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Speaker 3: Also, he wanted me to he said, like he wanted

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Speaker 3: me to get to know his kid beforehand, like so

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Speaker 3: that his kid doesn't come to sleep over his place

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Speaker 3: and just see.

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Speaker 4: Like this random woman there that he doesn't know.

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Speaker 3: He said, he's never introduced another girlfriend besides, like the

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Speaker 3: kid's actual mother to his child, so it's new to

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Speaker 3: his kid, you know.

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Speaker 4: So he wanted to ease that aunt him slowly, which

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Speaker 4: I respected and I understood.

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Speaker 3: So we don't live together, but we do have occasional sleepovers,

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Speaker 3: and it just kind of bothers me that these baby

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Speaker 3: moms are going to his new place, Like.

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Speaker 4: I don't know why, Like I don't know why it

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Speaker 4: bothers me.

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Speaker 3: I feel like it's it's something weird, Like I feel

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Speaker 3: like that's a weird feeling.

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Speaker 4: I shouldn't feel like that, Like it's weird to feel

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Speaker 4: like that, Like these are his baby mothers.

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Speaker 3: Obviously they're going to be going and they're gonna need

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Speaker 3: to know his address, you know, to drop off the.

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Speaker 1: Kid, I think, and then I'll let you finish and

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Speaker 1: by the way to supre recording.

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Speaker 2: I think you.

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Speaker 1: Feel that way because what your relationship lacks.

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Speaker 2: But let's see, I don't have.

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Speaker 3: A problem with the baby mother.

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Speaker 4: From the older kid. It's this new kid.

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Speaker 3: I feel like, like me and were even talking about

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Speaker 3: it that we feel like her plan was that she

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Speaker 3: wanted to go to her eyeld and keep that pregnancy

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Speaker 3: a secret until she couldn't get rid of that pregnancy

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Speaker 3: and hopes that he'll be like, oh yeah, like you're

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Speaker 3: having my kid, let's try.

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Speaker 2: To be again family stuff like that.

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Speaker 4: Because she wanted to be more than a friend.

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Speaker 3: He told me, like you told me tonight, that she

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Speaker 3: did go to his other house when he lived with

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Speaker 3: his mom a few times that she would just pull

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Speaker 3: up on him and stuff and just like I guess

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Speaker 3: keep them company when he was redoing the floors and

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Speaker 3: things like that.

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Speaker 4: That was weird to me, And I was like, did

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Speaker 4: you have sex with her on this bed that we're on?

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Speaker 2: Like no, Like she.

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Speaker 4: Never went into my room. I don't. I have trust issues,

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Speaker 4: you know, And that's my biggest problem.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I have trauma for my past relationship

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Speaker 3: and I put it onto this man so much. And

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Speaker 3: like I said, the way that like a lot of

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Speaker 3: these freaking I'm just gonna say.

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Speaker 4: He used Dominicans. I'm trying to hide the race so bad.

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Speaker 3: But have these Dominicans they are cheaters out here, Like

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Speaker 3: that's what they're known for.

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Speaker 2: You half the Dominicans cheaters out here. Every goddamn race

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Speaker 2: got cheetad Like.

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Speaker 3: He's proven to me that he's different. I mean, at

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Speaker 3: least that's what I get from everything.

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Speaker 2: Going to Texas and she's doing a lot of shit,

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Speaker 2: and these.

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Speaker 4: Nights the last nine months have been great.

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Speaker 3: With us, Like we've obviously had some little arguments and

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Speaker 3: stuff like that. But I used to get mad at

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Speaker 3: one point and I was like, yeah, we can break up.

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Speaker 4: If you really wanted to. But I stopped doing that

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Speaker 4: because that sounds like and I don't want to be

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Speaker 4: talking and I don't want to break up. I like

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Speaker 4: to communicate and work.

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Speaker 2: Don't want to bring up every day.

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Speaker 4: I'm getting better and better at that.

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Speaker 3: I just really feel weird about like his baby mom's

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Speaker 3: going to his apartment and specifically the new baby mom,

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Speaker 3: Like I feel like she's gonna be sneaky or try

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Speaker 3: to get up to something like And I guess for Repo,

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Speaker 3: all that comes down to is him because she could

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Speaker 3: try that.

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Speaker 4: Stuff, but it's about what he's gonna do.

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Speaker 3: So I want to have the trust in him that

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Speaker 3: he'll respect me, respect our relationship, and even himself enough

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Speaker 3: to not do anything stupid. He did tell me before, like, oh,

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Speaker 3: if he stops talking to somebody or like dating somebody,

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Speaker 3: he doesn't go back to them, Like that's not the

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Speaker 3: type of person.

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Speaker 4: He is, and he doesn't prefer that.

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Speaker 3: Like if it ended, it ended for a reason, so

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Speaker 3: there's no reason to double back. So honestly, I keep

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Speaker 3: dying my head a lot.

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Speaker 4: So I'm just like.

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Speaker 3: You know, like he won't go back, like to help

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Speaker 3: myself feel better basically, but I don't know for sure,

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Speaker 3: Like it's scary to me my trust issues. Even when

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Speaker 3: he opens his phone, I'm like, dang, like he's probably

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Speaker 3: texting another bench.

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Speaker 4: I don't know why, Like I be feeling like he's

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Speaker 4: just being sneaky, but.

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Speaker 3: Then he always does things or says things, you know,

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Speaker 3: and I'm just like, he's not even being sneaky.

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Speaker 4: Like for example, like I could be like, bro, he's.

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Speaker 3: Literally texting another Brich right now, and I see his

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Speaker 3: phone and it's just his brother, like I said, like,

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Speaker 3: or it'll be just a friend and sometimes it will.

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Speaker 4: Be a female and he'll see that.

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Speaker 2: I feel a certain way because I.

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Speaker 3: Like, I wear my emotions on my face, bro, And

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Speaker 3: he'll tell me like, oh, yeah, this is my friend,

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Speaker 3: like she lives up here, like we known each other

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Speaker 3: for this while, Like he'll explain it to me because

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Speaker 3: he seees that I'm overthinking. I overthink everything. I stress

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Speaker 3: about everything.

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Speaker 4: And I just want to like I feel like I

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Speaker 4: can trust him, but I want, girl, please fully trust him.

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Speaker 4: And so my question is really, just do you think

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Speaker 4: that I'm tripping? Like do you think I'm doing too much?

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Speaker 3: Like I don't know how to feel like I feel

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Speaker 3: like they're the only advice that is to give is

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Speaker 3: just pray, prayer that he is loyal, like you know,

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Speaker 3: I pray them.

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Speaker 1: He says to me.

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Speaker 4: It's true that you.

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Speaker 1: Know all he wants is me, and like I ain't

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Speaker 1: laying and you know because it is about prayer, because

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Speaker 1: you know, a sister praise. I'm a godfearing woman and

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Speaker 1: I pray every day. But baby, as much as I

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Speaker 1: love to pray, let me just let you finish, girl.

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Speaker 4: But I don't know.

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Speaker 3: My only concern is my only problem that I've had

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Speaker 3: in this relationship is coping with the fact that this

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Speaker 3: man has kids, like it's not even the fact that

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Speaker 3: he has kids, it's just the baby moms. Like, I'm

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Speaker 3: not sad about the kids. Honestly, in my head, I've

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Speaker 3: always said, like I wanted a big family, but I

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Speaker 3: didn't want to push out the kids. So that's why

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Speaker 3: I wasn't too concerned.

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Speaker 2: About right, So you got what you want. What's your

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Speaker 2: problems but not having to have the kids?

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Speaker 3: You know, obviously it's step kids, but I feel like

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Speaker 3: I would make a great mother.

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Speaker 4: I would push out like maybe two.

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Speaker 3: But I don't want to push out more than two.

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Speaker 3: But I do want more than two, and I feel

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Speaker 3: like taking on his kids would make me feel great

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Speaker 3: and obviously not right now, we're still.

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Speaker 4: Dating, we're still.

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Speaker 3: Getting to know each other every single day, but like

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Speaker 3: in our future.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, do you just in conclusion to end this up?

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Speaker 3: Like, do you think that I am taking over this

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Speaker 3: whole baby mom situation? Do you think that I need

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Speaker 3: to learn to just release and believe in him or

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Speaker 3: should I be nervous like you think she's gonna try.

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Speaker 4: To be sneaky?

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Speaker 1: Hold up, Hold up, I know this shit getting good,

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Speaker 1: but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.

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Speaker 2: If you love me, you'll listen.

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Speaker 3: Also to add, another thing that earns in my soul

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Speaker 3: like that like gets me overthinking is the fact that

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Speaker 3: so we work third shift, right, and sometimes We'll get

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Speaker 3: home at six in the morning and I see a

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Speaker 3: notification pop up from the new baby mom, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: y'all are texting at this time?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, we're talking about the baby or stuff like that,

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Speaker 4: or she's sending me pictures.

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Speaker 3: Or like He'll tell me like we're just talking, because

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Speaker 3: he always tells me like he makes his baby moms his.

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Speaker 4: Friends, like he does a reason to have them.

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Speaker 3: As like enemies or anything, right right, rightfully, so you know,

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Speaker 3: they're just friends and co parents, which is good. So

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Speaker 3: that's a the other thing that I just be like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: maybe it's like that, but I don't know. It doesn't

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Speaker 3: sit right to me, Like why you want to be

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Speaker 3: buddy buddy with your baby mother, like.

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Speaker 2: Cause you can.

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Speaker 1: Why first of all, why is it a stigma put

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00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:26,559
Speaker 1: on the relationships between baby mother and baby father after

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Speaker 1: the intimacy is gone?

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Speaker 4: Why is it? Why?

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Speaker 1: Why do I have to beef with my baby father?

301
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:32,560
Speaker 1: Why do I have to beef with my baby mother?

302
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,880
Speaker 1: Just so you can feel secure in a relationship. That's

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00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,160
Speaker 1: that's a general question. But this is one more that

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Speaker 1: she one more thinks.

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Speaker 2: She had to say. Then I'm gonna get into her mess.

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00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:44,520
Speaker 3: But he does give me the impression that he doesn't

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Speaker 3: have no desire to be with them.

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Speaker 4: But I don't know if she's a poker face, like

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Speaker 4: I don't know how to feel.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So, baby girl, you are everywhere with it. When

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Speaker 1: I say everywhere, I mean you hear they're up, down, back,

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Speaker 1: with sideways, all of that.

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Speaker 2: You up and down the freeway with this, all right.

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Speaker 1: A man does not have to beef with the mothers

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00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:10,520
Speaker 1: of his kids, or the mother of his child or children.

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Speaker 1: Speaking more so in general and to your situation. Like

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Speaker 1: I said, I think it's just been a stigma. You know,

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Speaker 1: I've had a few involvements myself where the guy did

319
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Speaker 1: not like how close I was with my son's dad.

320
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Speaker 1: Me and my son's dad are not attracted to each other,

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Speaker 1: not by far, like, in no way, shape or form.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: That's why we're able to do business together.

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Speaker 1: That's why we're able to talk to each other about

325
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:37,440
Speaker 1: any and everything because there's no more feelings there.

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Speaker 2: I love him.

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Speaker 1: He loves me, but that's all we do is co parent.

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Speaker 1: We're more like siblings, if you will. I know that's

329
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:47,280
Speaker 1: weird and that's just inappropriate to say or to take in,

330
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Speaker 1: but that's what it is. I'm just trying to describe

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Speaker 1: how much we don't fuck with each other like that

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Speaker 1: on that intimate level, you know what I mean. And

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Speaker 1: that may be the reason why me and my son's dad,

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Speaker 1: who also had for other children's moms, are the closest

335
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,200
Speaker 1: of us, all of them all.

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00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,160
Speaker 2: He's the closest with me.

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00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,480
Speaker 1: Now, you said you don't have a problem with the

338
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,680
Speaker 1: first baby mom, Okay, and that seems to be because

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00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,320
Speaker 1: they probably don't deal with each other at all. But

340
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,120
Speaker 1: I don't even think the issue is with him. I

341
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,800
Speaker 1: think the issue is with whoever the fuck did a

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00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:24,080
Speaker 1: number on you before you got with this man. Because

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00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,760
Speaker 1: the good thing about it is you're aware.

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00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:29,040
Speaker 2: You know, you know.

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00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,720
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say you're fucked up, but you are

346
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:36,240
Speaker 1: insecure your last relationship or last relationships, or it could

347
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,120
Speaker 1: even be something stemming from your childhood.

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00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:38,880
Speaker 2: Who knows you.

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00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,960
Speaker 1: Know yourself better than I do, but I know you

350
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,920
Speaker 1: need to know that you are insecure, and you could

351
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,960
Speaker 1: be running this man away, You could be pushing this

352
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:46,440
Speaker 1: man away.

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00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,480
Speaker 2: Now, this is just one perspective.

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00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,200
Speaker 1: To look at it from all, right, because you said

355
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:52,800
Speaker 1: you insinuate certain things and then you go do your

356
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,960
Speaker 1: research and you realize that it's nothing. Has he ever

357
00:14:55,040 --> 00:15:00,760
Speaker 1: done anything anything to make you feel like he would

358
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,120
Speaker 1: cheat on you with one of that his children's moms,

359
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,880
Speaker 1: or or cheat on you with another woman period or

360
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,400
Speaker 1: you know, well, I'll just keep it subjected to baby

361
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,680
Speaker 1: moms because you never brought up another woman. So my apologies,

362
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:15,360
Speaker 1: this is only about his kids moms. Okay, has he

363
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,120
Speaker 1: ever done anything? Have you ever actually caught him doing anything?

364
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:19,320
Speaker 4: Have you ever?

365
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,280
Speaker 2: Because it honestly just sounds like.

366
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,920
Speaker 1: He gives you his word and you have to take it,

367
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:28,560
Speaker 1: but because you're so fucked up from your last relationship,

368
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,360
Speaker 1: you still don't take it.

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00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:31,479
Speaker 2: You don't trust.

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00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:32,880
Speaker 1: Them, And do you turn around and say you can

371
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:34,520
Speaker 1: trust them, but then say you just want to be

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00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,360
Speaker 1: able to trust them fully, You don't need to be

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00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:39,680
Speaker 1: in a relationship. You're not even over what happened to

374
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,200
Speaker 1: you in the past, and I saying you're not over

375
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,320
Speaker 1: the last man. You're not over what happened to you.

376
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,200
Speaker 1: You're not, and you're throwing it off on him. Everything

377
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,960
Speaker 1: that you cause. This is called baggage. You're throwing your

378
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,640
Speaker 1: baggage onto him. And he already got four kids with

379
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,920
Speaker 1: four different baby moms. Two of them live on island,

380
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,880
Speaker 1: one of them live in America, of when live in

381
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:57,400
Speaker 1: that target.

382
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,720
Speaker 2: Girl, you know, what's a lot going on, all right?

383
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,600
Speaker 1: But you been dating this man for nine months and

384
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:04,920
Speaker 1: you never met his kids.

385
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:06,680
Speaker 2: Now that is a red flag for me.

386
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:10,640
Speaker 1: If I'm dating you for nine months exclusively, yes, I

387
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,800
Speaker 1: expect to have met your children by now.

388
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,520
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, yes.

389
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,400
Speaker 1: Even back when I was dating Wayne, we were both

390
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,680
Speaker 1: our schedules were busy, but I was gonna meet his kids.

391
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,400
Speaker 2: I was supposed to meet his kids a few.

392
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,480
Speaker 1: Times, you know, but our schedules were We both tore

393
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,800
Speaker 1: it and everything like that, and we were the own.

394
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,280
Speaker 1: Me and Wayne only made it for four months, but

395
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,720
Speaker 1: I was gonna meet us kids after the second month,

396
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,080
Speaker 1: you know, And whether the mom's liked it or not,

397
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,760
Speaker 1: their dad is still their parent and still had half

398
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,800
Speaker 1: of say so, and you know, when they are in

399
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:44,440
Speaker 1: his care. So I don't understand why you're not invited

400
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,360
Speaker 1: when his kids are there, or why you're not welcome

401
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:47,200
Speaker 1: when the kids are there.

402
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,600
Speaker 2: I don't understand why. Why?

403
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:54,120
Speaker 1: Now, that's just one perspective, your insecurities, all right, you

404
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,520
Speaker 1: tripping and shit? Now we got a commercial and if

405
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,680
Speaker 1: you click off this podcast, I swear I'm ana beat

406
00:16:58,680 --> 00:16:59,200
Speaker 1: your ass.

407
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:01,840
Speaker 2: Listen now.

408
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:07,000
Speaker 1: Another perspective is he could be dealing with the baby mother,

409
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:08,560
Speaker 1: he could be dealing with the last one. You know,

410
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:12,719
Speaker 1: the baby is fairly new, you know, and regardless of

411
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,879
Speaker 1: what a man says, sometimes their actions don't line up

412
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:16,560
Speaker 1: all the time.

413
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,840
Speaker 2: Not every man, but a lot of men, not just

414
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:20,640
Speaker 2: men women ever.

415
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,879
Speaker 1: You know, it's just very humanistic to lie or to

416
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,560
Speaker 1: tell somebody a lie just to get what you want,

417
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,600
Speaker 1: or to keep commotion down, to stay on and even kill.

418
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:33,280
Speaker 1: People lie for different reasons. To me, for a little bit,

419
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,359
Speaker 1: it sounded like you wasn't his girlfriend. It don't sound

420
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,560
Speaker 1: like you're his girlfriend. All this all my living situation.

421
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,840
Speaker 1: We were gonna move together, but we didn't because we

422
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,400
Speaker 1: realized that we you know, we only even did still

423
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,679
Speaker 1: too early and my situation was bad. But you know,

424
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,160
Speaker 1: that's why we didn't move together, because it's too early.

425
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,239
Speaker 1: And then I haven't met his kids, and you know,

426
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,200
Speaker 1: we don't stay. I don't stay over there all the time,

427
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,760
Speaker 1: but we'll have sleepovers. It it sounds like you just

428
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,679
Speaker 1: dealing with somebody that you talk to. Sound like it

429
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,280
Speaker 1: just sounds like you're involved with someone. You know how

430
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,399
Speaker 1: you got, you know, like y'all just talking. You know,

431
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 1: you're one of not many. I wouldn't say one of many,

432
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,679
Speaker 1: but it just sounds like you wanted the girls that

433
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:15,479
Speaker 1: he talks to. You know, I'm not sure how to

434
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,199
Speaker 1: advise you on whether to stay or not, because it

435
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 1: just doesn't seem like a real relationship, and you even

436
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,440
Speaker 1: said it yourself, it doesn't feel real.

437
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,399
Speaker 2: I haven't met the kids. I don't, you know.

438
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:27,879
Speaker 1: It's just I shouldn't feel these ways that I feel

439
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,560
Speaker 1: about the big mom because it's the kids.

440
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,280
Speaker 2: But then it's not the kids, it's the big moms

441
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,080
Speaker 2: and it's girl.

442
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,600
Speaker 1: You shouldn't date them because it doesn't sound like you

443
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,199
Speaker 1: trust them, and it doesn't sound like you're going to

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00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:40,080
Speaker 1: be trusting them any time soon. If y'all do stay together,

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00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,280
Speaker 1: or you know, stay pursuing one another, you got a

446
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:46,639
Speaker 1: lot of work to do to yourself, with yourself you

447
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,280
Speaker 1: have to start your healing process. Now you'll never be

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00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:53,439
Speaker 1: fully healed because trauma happens to people every day. Trauma happens,

449
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,760
Speaker 1: you know, not every day to one specific person, but

450
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,600
Speaker 1: things happen. People grow, people grow out of shit, people

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00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:02,919
Speaker 1: grow into shit, And healing is a lifetime. Healing is

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00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,960
Speaker 1: a lifelong process because once you get heal for something else,

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00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:07,920
Speaker 1: something else, you gotta heal something else. You got heal.

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00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,520
Speaker 1: If everybody was completely healed, that's a perfect person.

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Speaker 2: We don't have those.

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00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,680
Speaker 1: So I think you should start your healing process by

457
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:20,200
Speaker 1: just being this guy's friend datum cool, still have sex

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00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,640
Speaker 1: whatever you know, but don't get into a relationship. Don't

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00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,920
Speaker 1: call him your boyfriend, don't I think like I said, Yeah,

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00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,159
Speaker 1: let that little baby grow up. Let's see how that

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00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,760
Speaker 1: play out. The new baby, as you call the baby

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00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,680
Speaker 1: the beautiful baby, I'm sure, the new baby.

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00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:35,960
Speaker 2: Let's see how that plays out.

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00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:40,160
Speaker 1: Because you know, you can't control how the woman feels

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00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:44,720
Speaker 1: and what she thinks, and you can't control her getting

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00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,919
Speaker 1: over him. But if he says he's over her and

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00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:50,119
Speaker 1: never gave you any inclination of anything else, or you know,

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00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,080
Speaker 1: made you insinuate that they were doing things. Then I

469
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 1: think that you just have to take his word, but

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00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,600
Speaker 1: you still not satisfy with that. So that's just recipe

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00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,359
Speaker 1: for toxicity. You know, you're staying in a relationship ship

472
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,720
Speaker 1: knowing that you're the problem. I'm letting you know you're

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00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,600
Speaker 1: the problem. But I do love you and I want

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00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:07,760
Speaker 1: you to check back in with me.

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00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 4: Girl.

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00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 1: And you took up all the goddamn space for the episode,

477
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,160
Speaker 1: But it's all right because I love helping people.

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00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,800
Speaker 2: That's what I do. Also, tune into Breakfast Club, y'all.

479
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,040
Speaker 1: I need for y'all to cast in y'all votes for

480
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 1: justs Hilarious to become the third official co host by

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00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,600
Speaker 1: the end of this year. Y'all, I want y'all to

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00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,920
Speaker 1: go ahead, spam everybody comings DJ n V, D, jay

483
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 1: n E and Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo

484
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,160
Speaker 1: Yo yo, Charlamagne and Godi do that shit.

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00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 2: That shit every time you do that shit.

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00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 1: At the top of the Breakfast Club episode, we're also

487
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,280
Speaker 1: on b E T. You know what I'm saying, We

488
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 1: a speaking those things into existence as if they were already.

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00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:41,679
Speaker 2: You know how that go.

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00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 1: That's what the Good Lord said do. So I'm doing

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00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 1: that and each and every Wednesday. You can catch my

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00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:50,040
Speaker 1: podcast carefully Reckless anywhere you get your podcast, that's our heart, Spotify,

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00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts anywhere, and in my deepest paying voice, peace,

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00:20:53,960 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 1: see next week.

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00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:41,639
Speaker 5: Taking Class and then.

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00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:06,120
Speaker 4: Can't.

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Speaker 1: Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect.

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00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:14,880
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

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00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,919
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.