1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:06,440 Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty and relationships. It's The Velvet's 2 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,240 Speaker 1: Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson. 3 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,800 Speaker 2: Doctor Gladys McGary is the author of The Well Lived 4 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 2: Life a one hundred two years old Doctors Six Secrets 5 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 2: to Health and Happiness at Every Age. Hi, doctor McGary, 6 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 2: Good morning, Good morning. How are you today? 7 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:24,639 Speaker 3: Good? 8 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:27,400 Speaker 2: Well, if you're listening and you caught the title of 9 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 2: the book, it clearly says that you are one hundred 10 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 2: and two years old, So I would imagine that many 11 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,279 Speaker 2: of the listeners want to know exactly what I want 12 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 2: to know. What does a day in the life of 13 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 2: a one hundred and two year old person look like? 14 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 3: You get up, you go to the bathroom, you eat breakfast, 15 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 3: do what you have to do, You take a nap 16 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,840 Speaker 3: in the middle after lunch, and then you I walk. 17 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:04,320 Speaker 3: I have a walker, so I walk three thousand, eight 18 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:08,200 Speaker 3: hundred steps a day, and I do what I have 19 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 3: to do, and then I eat dinner, and then I 20 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,559 Speaker 3: go to bed and then I sleep. 21 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,319 Speaker 2: What is your bedtime? Though? This is what I need 22 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 2: to know. 23 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:17,679 Speaker 3: Eight o'clock. 24 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,959 Speaker 2: Eight o'clock, okay, this is not that much earlier than 25 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 2: my bedtime. 26 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 3: I get up at six. 27 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 2: Okay, so you really value sleep? 28 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:31,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, the afternoon nap is really important to me, 29 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:36,760 Speaker 3: is it since I was ninety eight years old or something. 30 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 2: Well, many many people call you the true mother of 31 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 2: holistic medicine, in a true pioneer when it comes to 32 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 2: is it allopathic? Is that how I pronounce that you 33 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 2: got it allopathic and holistic medical movements? So I know 34 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 2: you're also a founder of a founding diplomat of the 35 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 2: American Board of Holistic Medicine. And I was telling you 36 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 2: before we started this podcast that I watched your ted 37 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 2: X talk and you talked a lot about the moment 38 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 2: where you had the realization, wait, this is maybe like 39 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,520 Speaker 2: when you were studying medicine, you were like, I'm learning 40 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 2: about all these ways to kill the things, but I 41 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,120 Speaker 2: want to I want to know more. I want to 42 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 2: know like the roots. So what is it that drove 43 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 2: you to get interested in holistic medicine. 44 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 3: Well, I came into this world so that I could 45 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 3: do this. I mean I was two years old when 46 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 3: I told my parents, who were both osteopathic physicians, both 47 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:42,959 Speaker 3: missionaries in India, and we were living out in the 48 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 3: jungles of North India because that's where their mission took them. 49 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 3: And so I felt like I was in a good 50 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 3: place to learn what I was going to do if 51 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 3: I was going to do it. And I had my dolls, 52 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:06,360 Speaker 3: which they ended up in hospitals or something, and my 53 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 3: sister wouldn't let me play with hers because they'd get injured. 54 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 2: You were doing doctor experiences on these dolls. 55 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it was it was who I was. Yeah, 56 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:27,359 Speaker 3: And so the whole concept of the way my parents 57 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 3: were dealing with the uh Indian people who were the 58 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 3: poorest of the poor and the and had My parents 59 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 3: had no real, uh wonderful equipment or anything like that. 60 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 3: We were traveling intents, so they had what they had, 61 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 3: but mostly what they had was their attitude towards each patient. 62 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 3: And the whole concept was everyone was important, what you had. 63 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 3: What we had to do was to listen to them. 64 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 3: I spoke k Thestani before I spoke English, so I 65 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 3: could understand what they were saying too, And it was 66 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 3: just part of my what I knew I was supposed 67 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 3: to do when I got into the actual work that 68 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 3: we were being taught. And it was right in the 69 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:37,039 Speaker 3: middle of the war and even after the war, the 70 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:43,000 Speaker 3: lack of the listening to what the individual patient was 71 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:47,479 Speaker 3: saying was very, very obvious to me. 72 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 2: That makes sense. I feel like that is still probably 73 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:55,479 Speaker 2: pretty prevalent in the medical field. Do you agree with that. 74 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 3: Well, it can be in particularly now since computers have 75 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:07,240 Speaker 3: come right and it's much easier for a patient a 76 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 3: physician to look at what he sees on the computer 77 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:15,480 Speaker 3: and make a decision about the patient who's sitting right there. 78 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 3: And many many patients I've had come back to me 79 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:27,479 Speaker 3: or well I see them after they've seen a specialist 80 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:31,040 Speaker 3: and their comment is, but he never talked to me, 81 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,599 Speaker 3: or something like that. I think it's getting a little 82 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 3: better now, but it's it's really been something that I've 83 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 3: felt was missing in the field of medicine right from 84 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 3: the start of my getting involved with it. 85 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 2: So what if listeners are going, what is holistic medicine? 86 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 2: Because I know, you know, some people really buy into 87 00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 2: it has to be full western medicine and it just 88 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 2: kind of it sounds a little woo woo. Maybe to 89 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 2: look at this more holistically. Can you kind of explain 90 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:10,480 Speaker 2: what it even means when you talk about practicing holistic medicine. 91 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 3: Well, yes, I'll try Okay, I think that we're total 92 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:22,279 Speaker 3: beings body, mind, and spirit. And so what I was 93 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,600 Speaker 3: learning about in the field of medicine was a lot 94 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 3: about the body and a lot about the mind. But 95 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:34,680 Speaker 3: I couldn't see where the the love, the spirit aspect, 96 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 3: the inner aspect of the patient was going. So for me, 97 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:46,599 Speaker 3: that was what was missing. In fact, when my oldest 98 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:52,839 Speaker 3: son who just graduated, well actually he's a retired orthopedic 99 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 3: surgeon now, but at the time he had just graduated 100 00:06:56,720 --> 00:07:01,200 Speaker 3: from his training in orthopedics and came through Phoenix. It 101 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 3: was going down to Del Rio, Texas to practice, and 102 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:09,159 Speaker 3: he said, Mom, I'm real scared. He said, I'm going 103 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 3: into the world. I'm going to have people's lives in 104 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 3: my hands. He said, I don't know if I can 105 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 3: handle that. And I said to him, well, Carl, if 106 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 3: you think you're the one who is responsible for that, 107 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:32,239 Speaker 3: you really have something to do, because it's your job 108 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 3: to do what you've been trained to do, which is awesome. 109 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,240 Speaker 3: I mean, if you've got a broken leg, you want 110 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 3: an good orthopedic surgeon to work worth it. You don't 111 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 3: want a bone setter or something. So it was the 112 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 3: do what you've been really trained and talked to do 113 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 3: and then help the patient who is now has the 114 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 3: respont responsibility of doing the healing because it's the physician 115 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 3: within each patient who actually does the healing. And so 116 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 3: you do the best you can and then you support 117 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,480 Speaker 3: the patient as they do their healing and it's great. 118 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 3: So I don't see the concept of holistic opposed to 119 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 3: allopathic medicine. I see us working together. And the fact 120 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,559 Speaker 3: of the matter was, when we started the American Holistic 121 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 3: Medical Association, it took us two years to decide how 122 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 3: to spell holistic because the word that we were looking for, 123 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:48,160 Speaker 3: the root word was health, healing, and holy. So it 124 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:52,200 Speaker 3: was that aspect, not whether you were going to be 125 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:58,280 Speaker 3: using herbs or some other modality. It was a very 126 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 3: essence of who you were looking to as partners in 127 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 3: this field that we were talking about. 128 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 2: So let's talk a little bit about when you started 129 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 2: all of those things, because obviously I would imagine you've 130 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:19,560 Speaker 2: seen our culture shift a lot, and especially being a 131 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 2: woman in this medical field, I would assume there's been 132 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 2: some challenges, especially when you first started. Did you ever 133 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 2: feel like there was some sexism you faced? I mean, 134 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 2: I know a lot of that has changed. You're laughing. 135 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:39,680 Speaker 2: She's like, yeah, tell us a little bit about that journey. 136 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:46,359 Speaker 3: Well, yes, I went to Women's Medical College in Philadelphia, 137 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 3: the only medical college for women at the time, and 138 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 3: there were a few medical schools who took a woman 139 00:09:56,880 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 3: here or there, but basically we were it and there 140 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 3: whole theme was that we were going to have a 141 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 3: harder time finding a place for ourselves than the men, 142 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 3: so they were going to make it harder for us 143 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 3: in school. So we started with fifty students and ended 144 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:22,000 Speaker 3: with twenty five. So even just the training was real strict. 145 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:26,720 Speaker 3: But when I started my first internship at Deaconess Hospital 146 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:32,920 Speaker 3: in Cincinnati, they had never had a woman doctor, and 147 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:38,040 Speaker 3: so I went when I arrived for call, when I 148 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:41,319 Speaker 3: was on call for the weekend, there was no place 149 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 3: for me to sleep. So I had the X ray 150 00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:47,679 Speaker 3: table and a blanket and a pillow, and I had 151 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 3: that the rest of the time I was doing my 152 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 3: internship because there was no place, and I had patients 153 00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 3: who withdrew and said, no, go get me a doctor, 154 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:04,720 Speaker 3: you're a nurse. And I had nurses snatch charts out 155 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,599 Speaker 3: of my hands and say you can't touch this, and 156 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,280 Speaker 3: I have to say, oh, yes I can, and then 157 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 3: there you know, it was all of that. But I 158 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 3: won't even mention the names that I was called, and 159 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 3: because I don't even want to remember. But you know, 160 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 3: we were very weird. 161 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 2: You're the odd ball. 162 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:35,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but people were beginning to think about it, 163 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 3: so there were none of us. There were the numbers 164 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 3: began to grow when we began to talk about it 165 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 3: and have conferences about it and so on and so, yes, 166 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 3: it changed, but it changed like it should, you know, properly. 167 00:11:55,600 --> 00:12:00,120 Speaker 3: So I don't think of the whole field of medicine 168 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:04,560 Speaker 3: either as an either or. I don't think it's I 169 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:10,320 Speaker 3: either practice holistic medicine or I practice allopathic medicine. No, 170 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 3: it's not the modality, it's the attitude with which you 171 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 3: use that modality, as far as I'm concerned. 172 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,960 Speaker 2: Well, let's talk a little bit about the book. It's 173 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,920 Speaker 2: called The Well Lived Life, which I would assume you 174 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,440 Speaker 2: have a lot to say about living one hundred and 175 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:34,199 Speaker 2: two years. But you talk about six secrets that are 176 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 2: the key to this well lived life. So can you 177 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,079 Speaker 2: just tell us those secrets? 178 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:45,480 Speaker 3: Well, yeah, you know the first one, Well, let me 179 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 3: tell you a sort of a precursor to this. Okay, 180 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:53,560 Speaker 3: the five what I call the five l's. Okay, these 181 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:59,200 Speaker 3: are sort of the foundation beneath the others. The first 182 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 3: L is life without life, there's nothing, okay, so life, 183 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 3: you have to start with life. But life without love 184 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:16,920 Speaker 3: can't do anything. You have a seed in a pyramid 185 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 3: that's there for five thousand years and it's got all 186 00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 3: the energy of the universe within that shell, but it 187 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:30,720 Speaker 3: can't do anything until it water reaches it, or until 188 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 3: love reaches out for it. So when love and life 189 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 3: get together, life starts and then it can go on, 190 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,280 Speaker 3: and it goes on and it has to keep moving. 191 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 3: But so that's the first well, okay. The second one, 192 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,960 Speaker 3: of course is love, which activates the LFE. But the 193 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:57,800 Speaker 3: third one is laughter. Laughter without love is cruel, it's mean, 194 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:03,360 Speaker 3: it's cold. But laughter with love is joy and happiness, 195 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,400 Speaker 3: and oh my life is good, you know. 196 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:06,439 Speaker 2: Yes. 197 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:12,400 Speaker 3: The fourth one is labor. Labor without love is drudgery. 198 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:16,479 Speaker 3: Oh man, I got to get to work too many diapers, 199 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:21,080 Speaker 3: you know, just too much. But labor with love is bliss. 200 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,760 Speaker 3: It's why a singer sings, it's why pay her page, 201 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 3: it's why you're doing what you do. It's what I do. 202 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 3: What I do, it's what makes our hearts sing that 203 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:38,680 Speaker 3: labor with love. And the fifth one is listening. Listening 204 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:42,880 Speaker 3: without love is empty sound. It's a king gong and 205 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:48,480 Speaker 3: just it's empty sound. But listening with love is understanding. 206 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:55,800 Speaker 3: So with these five l's you can begin to see 207 00:14:55,640 --> 00:15:03,840 Speaker 3: where my whole concept of Edison goes. So in the 208 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 3: book and the six secrets are ways in which we 209 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,440 Speaker 3: can begin to apply these, and they've got we've got 210 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:15,920 Speaker 3: little ways in which you can do it. Get the book. 211 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:23,520 Speaker 2: She's like, I'm not giving away my secrets. I love 212 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 2: that all of those things that you just mentioned are 213 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:32,240 Speaker 2: completely different when you remove love from the equation. Learn 214 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 2: let's go ahead. 215 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 3: The activating factor for life, it just is everything in 216 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 3: life when and love has to move, it has to grow, 217 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 3: it has to keep going. If you stop growing, if 218 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 3: you stop moving, it dies. Love has to reach out, 219 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 3: it has to go beyond, It has to reach towards 220 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:03,640 Speaker 3: the light. It's that's what is constantly helping us to 221 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:05,760 Speaker 3: grow into our true humanity. 222 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,960 Speaker 2: How do you think you learned that lesson. 223 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:17,240 Speaker 3: By living it? Actually, my parents were amazing. They were 224 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:23,920 Speaker 3: both humble people who well we lived out in the jungle, 225 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,440 Speaker 3: and you know, they took care of patience and I 226 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 3: tell the story about my mother treating an elephant and 227 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,760 Speaker 3: all of that kind of thing. You know, there were 228 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:42,160 Speaker 3: things that we watched and helped with as we're growing 229 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 3: up children with in the jungles. It was a way 230 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 3: in which what was important was what we understood. Without that, 231 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:01,880 Speaker 3: I would have been really laundry. But the way my 232 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:05,760 Speaker 3: parents were working with life, the way they treated us, 233 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 3: the way they treated everybody was something that always included love. 234 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,439 Speaker 3: And I didn't know it at the time, but you know, 235 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:16,880 Speaker 3: as I've looked back. 236 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:23,240 Speaker 2: Right, I would imagine that over one hundred and two years. 237 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 2: You know, life is always kind of up and down. 238 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,240 Speaker 2: I've learned that in my forty years. So I would 239 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,080 Speaker 2: imagine in one hundred and two years, you've seen some 240 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:34,520 Speaker 2: major ups and some major downs. How do you not 241 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:38,280 Speaker 2: or what would you say to people like me or 242 00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:42,080 Speaker 2: just the listeners about kind of riding those waves and 243 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:46,399 Speaker 2: not getting stuck in the hardships of life, but focusing 244 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,159 Speaker 2: more on the love and kind of getting back to 245 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:49,840 Speaker 2: that energy. 246 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,439 Speaker 3: Try raising six kids. 247 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:54,919 Speaker 2: I didn't know you did that. 248 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,960 Speaker 3: And so when we when we started our practice. Mind 249 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:05,560 Speaker 3: husband's a physician too. We started in his hometown and 250 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,719 Speaker 3: he was called back into the Korean War and I 251 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,240 Speaker 3: was left there with Well. When I came to town, 252 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 3: nobody wanted to have a woman doctor, so I'd have 253 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,639 Speaker 3: to have Bill come and check it, and he'd do 254 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:24,080 Speaker 3: the same thing I had done, you know. Finally, by 255 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:27,399 Speaker 3: the time he left and went into the service, I 256 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:34,479 Speaker 3: was the only doctor in town. And now they everybody talking, 257 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,880 Speaker 3: you know. Came when I was sick myself with the momps. 258 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 3: They went up the backsteps of the hospital and to 259 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:47,159 Speaker 3: consult with me, and my colleagues took me home to 260 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,960 Speaker 3: their home and pretected the ivy with the curtain rod, 261 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 3: you know, that kind of thing. I had to escape 262 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:59,399 Speaker 3: from my patients. Finally, but the really when I was 263 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:05,560 Speaker 3: so taugh during those years, I would come home and 264 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:09,520 Speaker 3: my son, Bob, who was eighteen months old at the time. 265 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,560 Speaker 3: I had four kids in four years, which I thought 266 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:17,480 Speaker 3: was a good idea. Wow, I wanted them to be 267 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,320 Speaker 3: I knew I was going to be in and out, 268 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:23,560 Speaker 3: but I wanted them to be partners with each other. 269 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 3: And it worked. Excuse me. So when I would come 270 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:32,040 Speaker 3: home he'd be sitting on the front steps of the 271 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:36,480 Speaker 3: house and I'd pick him up and go in and 272 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,560 Speaker 3: sit down in the rocking chair and he'd pat my 273 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,000 Speaker 3: shoulder until life came back into focus with me. For me, 274 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:54,000 Speaker 3: it was a excuse me. It was a very important 275 00:19:54,280 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 3: way of weaving in my own life process with the 276 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 3: whole thing. All the things that were going on with 277 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,880 Speaker 3: the patients who I was working with. 278 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:07,920 Speaker 2: What do you mean? 279 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 3: Have been vital in my hope and in fact, by 280 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:21,040 Speaker 3: uh youngest daughter was my partner until I retired from 281 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,000 Speaker 3: the active practice of medicine, and she's still, you know, 282 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,080 Speaker 3: a position here in tough. 283 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,200 Speaker 2: What I'm taking from that, and let me make sure 284 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:37,600 Speaker 2: I'm getting this clearly, but I hear and I was 285 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,200 Speaker 2: having a conversation with my dad about this this morning actually, 286 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,240 Speaker 2: But just the importance of community for all of us 287 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,760 Speaker 2: and connection is that sort of what you're saying is 288 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,960 Speaker 2: like you get through the hardships, you ride the ups 289 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 2: and downs with your people and your community. 290 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:59,520 Speaker 3: Absolutely, and I've decided that you don't just get over something, okay, 291 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:06,240 Speaker 3: if you live through it. Everything is a teacher. Hard 292 00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:11,320 Speaker 3: times are some of the best teachers, and because they 293 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:20,600 Speaker 3: if we can move through the difficult, painful times and 294 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:27,480 Speaker 3: learn what that whole process is all about, then we've 295 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 3: actually lived that essence of what our inner being was 296 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:37,919 Speaker 3: trying to teach us. Because I think that's what this 297 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:41,000 Speaker 3: is all about, is learning and growing and moving and 298 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 3: keeping gone moving, not getting And if you get stuck, 299 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,480 Speaker 3: you keep moving until you get unstuck. 300 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,640 Speaker 2: What does that look like on a day to day 301 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 2: for you? I know it's mental health Awareness months, so 302 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,720 Speaker 2: I'd like to give people just kind of tangible tips 303 00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,080 Speaker 2: on you know, how to how to get unstuck. If 304 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,080 Speaker 2: you're feeling that stuck, what does it look like to 305 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:03,880 Speaker 2: keep moving forward? 306 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:10,919 Speaker 3: Well, but for me, it's absolutely awesome. I'm talking to 307 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:16,760 Speaker 3: you for crying out long. You know when I didn't 308 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:23,399 Speaker 3: even have a telephone until I started in college where 309 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:29,760 Speaker 3: the things scared the living bees. But you know, and 310 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 3: here we can do this kind. 311 00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:34,639 Speaker 2: Of thing, right, we're on a zoom call. 312 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 3: If yeah, if you keep on learning with each of 313 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:44,800 Speaker 3: the things that you have allowed yourself to be faced with, 314 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:52,439 Speaker 3: then it's awesome. It's just absolutely awesome. And I forget 315 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:53,560 Speaker 3: what you asked. 316 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,800 Speaker 2: Me, Well, that was that was sort of it, like 317 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,120 Speaker 2: what's the tangible or maybe what are the tangible ways 318 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,440 Speaker 2: to keep moving forward? And so what you just said 319 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:03,840 Speaker 2: is to keep learning, maybe. 320 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:07,800 Speaker 3: To keep learning and reaching for the light. I have 321 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:13,120 Speaker 3: a visual of I have a flashlight. Okay, okay, flashlight, 322 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 3: but as I'm going along, all I can see is 323 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 3: the next step ahead that that flashlight is lighting up 324 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:25,240 Speaker 3: for me. As I'm going along that way, A lot 325 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 3: of times there's someone else whose flashlight isn't quite as bright, 326 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:33,560 Speaker 3: and they're struggling and they're kind of stuck. But maybe 327 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 3: if I might reach over with my flashlight and help 328 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,359 Speaker 3: them with the light that's on the problem or the 329 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 3: issue or whatever it is that they're doing, then sometimes 330 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:55,119 Speaker 3: even without them even knowing it, I'm helping them, you know, 331 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,760 Speaker 3: find the light and move with it and move forward. 332 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,680 Speaker 3: And that's what if you want to turn around, look 333 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,480 Speaker 3: over your shoulder and say, oh man, this is awful. 334 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:09,520 Speaker 3: You really get stuck. If you can leave, look forward, 335 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,399 Speaker 3: look up and reach out, you know. Et he wanted 336 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 3: to go home. He's talking his true humanity. 337 00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 2: Well, the book, as we mentioned, is called The Well 338 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,760 Speaker 2: Lived Life, and I'm going to put the discretion. I'm 339 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,760 Speaker 2: going to put the link to that book in the podcast, 340 00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:32,720 Speaker 2: so you guys can hear the sixth Secrets. So in 341 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,960 Speaker 2: the book you said, you give the six secrets and 342 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:39,240 Speaker 2: then you kind of talk through different tangible tools. 343 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 3: Yes, each secret has ways in which you can work 344 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 3: through this work with us so that if you're stuck, 345 00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:52,320 Speaker 3: if there's something that you don't understand it, we give 346 00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 3: you a chance to really physically do something that It's like, 347 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:05,000 Speaker 3: there are things that really we hang on to that 348 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:08,640 Speaker 3: we don't need to. My mother taught me that, and 349 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:12,920 Speaker 3: the and the she my sister and I were in 350 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,240 Speaker 3: our nineties and we were talking, we do this, and 351 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:17,960 Speaker 3: we talk a little bit more and we do this, 352 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,160 Speaker 3: and one of us said to the other, we don't 353 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:24,639 Speaker 3: know which why do we do that? And we did 354 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 3: it all the time, and we said, well, I guess 355 00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:32,480 Speaker 3: it means kuane, which in Hindustani means it doesn't matter. 356 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 3: And then we said who did that? And we looked 357 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,240 Speaker 3: at each other and both of us said at the 358 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:42,760 Speaker 3: same time, Mama did it. Okay, why did she do that? 359 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:47,879 Speaker 3: And we thought about it and and we said kuch purane. 360 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:53,440 Speaker 3: And the whole story is that my mother was wise 361 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:58,679 Speaker 3: enough that she understood that in life, a lot of 362 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:03,639 Speaker 3: times things happen and we can we have options. We 363 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:09,200 Speaker 3: can like say, somebody calls you a bad name. One, Yeah, 364 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:14,119 Speaker 3: you take it in and it hurts, you know, and 365 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,879 Speaker 3: you know you you think it's really bad. That hurts, 366 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 3: real bad. But if you hear it and you catch 367 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,399 Speaker 3: it in your hand and it comes towards you, you 368 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,919 Speaker 3: just let it drop down Mike's pedals and let it 369 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,359 Speaker 3: go and say it doesn't matter. Which but one it 370 00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:37,240 Speaker 3: means it doesn't matter, and you let it go. My 371 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:41,800 Speaker 3: sister and I realized that from our mother's actual action 372 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:47,120 Speaker 3: of her hand, she had taught us that there were many, many, 373 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:50,720 Speaker 3: many many times in life when you had the choice 374 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:55,360 Speaker 3: of either taking something in and feeling hurt by it, 375 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,800 Speaker 3: or allowing it to happen and let it go. And 376 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,640 Speaker 3: if you let it go, you don't even remember what it. 377 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:06,359 Speaker 2: Was, right, you know, people spend most of their lives 378 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,200 Speaker 2: learning to let go of things, let go of attaching 379 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,639 Speaker 2: to things like that. I love that motion that you're doing. 380 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,160 Speaker 2: It's just like she's dropping her hand and just kind 381 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:15,600 Speaker 2: of moving it backwards. 382 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not even offensive, it's not. 383 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:25,239 Speaker 2: Like no, right, Oh well, doctor mcgury, Thank you so 384 00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:27,639 Speaker 2: much for being here. You guys, go get the book 385 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:31,320 Speaker 2: The Well Lived Life. You are a living testament to 386 00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:34,320 Speaker 2: obviously the well lived life, so I really appreciate you 387 00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,320 Speaker 2: being here and talking and sharing your stories with that. 388 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,280 Speaker 2: Of course, when. 389 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 3: They when they were when we were working with the title, 390 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:47,720 Speaker 3: I really didn't like that title because I thought it 391 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:53,760 Speaker 3: meant me the well lived life. And the publisher said, no, 392 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:58,000 Speaker 3: we're talking about the people that read it, right, So 393 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:03,720 Speaker 3: it's not I'm telling about my life, okay. The book 394 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:07,240 Speaker 3: is for the person that's reading it. 395 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:11,600 Speaker 2: Okay, so we can have a well lived life. Yes, 396 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:12,919 Speaker 2: I like that. 397 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:13,960 Speaker 3: All right. 398 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:16,840 Speaker 2: Well, thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. 399 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 3: You're welcome. 400 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:21,159 Speaker 2: It was so nice to meet you, and thank you 401 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:22,280 Speaker 2: guys so much for listening. 402 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:25,640 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to The Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson, 403 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,320 Speaker 1: where we believe everyone has a little velvet in a 404 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:32,480 Speaker 1: little edge. Subscribe for more conversations on life, style, beauty 405 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:36,240 Speaker 1: and relationships. Search Velvet's Edge wherever you get your podcasts.